Bekah's Step Six: Even Princesses need to Keep it Simple

[Bekah]

And with this, I am convinced we do have the same life!! Haha! Although instead of girl of my dreams I would like another boy and for hubby to have a girl that I can occasionally enjoy the company of as well

I told you!!!! LOL!!!

I wouldn't mind that either, at least not in the physical events, but he has no interest in anyone else romantically and is not ok with me with another man, at least not in a relationship context, and one man is enough bullshit I also don't want a girl with lots of drama, it makes me NUTS! but otherwise an extra person would be fun, but I can't be that picky with a clear conscience!!! Lololol

[BeautifulBeast]

See that sounds a lot like us but reversed! I'm the one that is *meh* on the romance side, hubby is poly all the way. I'm learning to accept that and trying my best to get involved as well. Currently there is another couple that we are conversing with and she is the first girl hubs has had interest in that I haven't disliked haha. I'm very anti girl drama bull as well and most of the people he has dated have been very much girls and not women. I'm hoping that this new ordeal leads to a good friendship, if not more, especially for him! If he's going to be romantically involved with other women I at least want it to be someone I don't hate! Accepting this whole side of him and embracing that kind of a lifestyle is part of my peace challenge. Just not an advertised part

[Bekah]

That 3rd one is a great feeling, isn't it?! My husband bought me a pair of undies 6 freaking years ago and the other day he asked me if I still had them and if I would try them on and see if they fit now and they did!!! Best feeling ever! 

I have a nightie that I bought before we got married, and I needed to lose like 5 lbs to feel comfortable putting myself on display in it at the time (now I am like OMG SERIOUSLY?!?!?!) and so yeah, I still have it, and that is going to be like the most awesome day in the history of awesome days when I can wear that again. I have about 50 lbs to go left to get back there. 

 

See that sounds a lot like us but reversed! I'm the one that is *meh* on the romance side, hubby is poly all the way. I'm learning to accept that and trying my best to get involved as well. Currently there is another couple that we are conversing with and she is the first girl hubs has had interest in that I haven't disliked haha. I'm very anti girl drama bull as well and most of the people he has dated have been very much girls and not women. I'm hoping that this new ordeal leads to a good friendship, if not more, especially for him! If he's going to be romantically involved with other women I at least want it to be someone I don't hate! Accepting this whole side of him and embracing that kind of a lifestyle is part of my peace challenge. Just not an advertised part

Oh see, thats awesome. I am the same way, thats why I am totally fine with J having input into who, what, when etc...because yeah, he has to live with whatever too, and I want more friendships than anything else anyway, and guys aren't always great for that, so it works out relatively well. That is one of the things I never knew about when we were together, I actually told him all that sort of stuff about me, trying to get him to leave me alone...it backfired!! LOL!!! 

[Tateman]

Looks like you are doing great  Glad to see you are back at it!  How has Feingold been?  It's pretty interesting stuff.  Also, I know it is hard to cut out sugars as they have some form of sugar in everything it seems.

[Abtacha]

I love that conversation! Keep going!

[Terinatum]

The Poly world, gotta love it! I want to be the third. It is the freedom I need within the midst of loving intimacy. And to be friends with both is extremely important IMHO

So, if you are in VT...

lol

Cheers

Sent via my phone b/c my laptop is out of reach. Cheers!

[Bekah]

Looks like you are doing great  Glad to see you are back at it!  How has Feingold been?  It's pretty interesting stuff.  Also, I know it is hard to cut out sugars as they have some form of sugar in everything it seems.

Thank you! Feingold is and has been easy, I almost do it by default now after so many years, and the Foodlists for the grocery store are invaluable since things change so often with packaged foods, so the only questionable times are eating out, and I know for the most part which places I can eat and be okay and which I cant so even then its only really if I try a new place or a new food at an existing place, which in this tiny beach town, rarely happens. I added it in my challenge just to be thorough about what I am doing and to share information, more than it being a new change, because even when I am not working on my food at all, I stay FG just because I get constantly sick or stomach issues or migraines etc. etc. so it's very necessary, like no gluten or dairy iis becoming now too after the last few months of slips and the aftermath being so much worse than it used to be.

Yeah, I remember the sugar in the chicken when you first started the Whole30! I am not cutting out sugar yet, but that will be a single goal within a challenge, because I know it will be extremely difficult and take lots of focus...so I am not going to attempt anything new while I'm doing that.

I subbed your challenge but need to catch up on reading it (and several others). I am glad you dropped in and said hi :)

[Bekah]

The Poly world, gotta love it! I want to be the third. It is the freedom I need within the midst of loving intimacy. And to be friends with both is extremely important IMHOSo, if you are in VT...lolCheersSent via my phone b/c my laptop is out of reach. Cheers!

Ack!!! The choices!!! I'm just gonna have a harem...screw it Between you, Rymmare and Abtacha, I think I'd be in heaven I guess my 1000 square foot beach house plan is gonna need some rethinking! Although since ABtacha and Rymmare already have primaries, an extra room or two should be sufficient, and a playroom for the kids (and one for the grownups...lol)!

lol I am the same way Teri, I could easily be a third too...with or without the relationship really. Although if I didn't have a primary relationship, I would shy away from casual encounters because I need to not compartmentalize my love like that anymore, because its not good for me. However, being that I am already attached, it's a moot point because he will probably never accept that on a long term basis.

It may sound mean or even selfish, but I don't have the emotional energy for more than 2-3 close relationships total (real life ones, online is different obviously) , be they good friends or romantic relationships, so anyone that I am involved with physically and romantically is also going to be one of my few close friends by default, so I can't see the point in being involved with someone that I wouldn't be best friends with even if we weren't involved, yanno? and J is the same way, so he has to feel just as comfortable with her as well, even if their interest in eachother is not a romantic one.

Bwhahahaha who would have ever thought we would get this going on a Challenge Thread...and my first one in the Druid Forest, at least all the Asssasins were used to me being like this already!! LOL!! Oh well, I hope I didn't scare y'all away! I love that I finally feel like I love myself and am happy with who I am, and this is part of that too.

[Bekah]

oh and Im using usernames for privacy, I didnt know if you want your real names out here in public forum land....I don't care so much, but better safe than sorry when I cant delete posts.

[BeautifulBeast]

Ack!!! The choices!!! I'm just gonna have a harem...screw it Between you, Rymmare and Abtacha, I think I'd be in heaven I guess my 1000 square foot beach house plan is gonna need some rethinking! Although since ABtacha and Rymmare already have primaries, an extra room or two should be sufficient, and a playroom for the kids (and one for the grownups...lol)!

lol I am the same way Teri, I could easily be a third too...with or without the relationship really. Although if I didn't have a primary relationship, I would shy away from casual encounters because I need to not compartmentalize my love like that anymore, because its not good for me. However, being that I am already attached, it's a moot point because he will probably never accept that on a long term basis.

It may sound mean or even selfish, but I don't have the emotional energy for more than 2-3 close relationships total (real life ones, online is different obviously) , be they good friends or romantic relationships, so anyone that I am involved with physically and romantically is also going to be one of my few close friends by default, so I can't see the point in being involved with someone that I wouldn't be best friends with even if we weren't involved, yanno? and J is the same way, so he has to feel just as comfortable with her as well, even if their interest in eachother is not a romantic one.

Bwhahahaha who would have ever thought we would get this going on a Challenge Thread...and my first one in the Druid Forest, at least all the Asssasins were used to me being like this already!! LOL!! Oh well, I hope I didn't scare y'all away! I love that I finally feel like I love myself and am happy with who I am, and this is part of that too.

Lol! Sorry about that taking this point and running with it! It's just nice to talk to someone about it  

The dream house/ harem scenario sounds fun, let's do this! haha! Hubs and I were just talking about poly tribes the other night. I'm too much of a recluse for it, but he has a friend that is in one (with 10 people! TEN FREAKING PEOPLE!) and hubs is all for it. I am very much the same with only having energy to deal with 2 or 3 close relationships, anything else and my head would explode. I'd also be a great 3rd because I am pretty self sufficient emotionally these days. I drive hubby nuts because he is very needy emotionally and I am very distant, so he wants the intimacy 110% of the time and I just want to be left the frack alone! LOL! But if the two of us ever started dating someone, like together, I'd want it to be an equal triad. Not a 'we're primaries but s/he is our secondary' because that would make me feel like the other person is just a disposable plaything and that's not at all what I would want that to be about. If that makes sense? Haha...

Okay! Back to fitness related posting  

 

[Bekah]

Challenge Goals Day 2

1. Read "Your Last Diet" book and eat breakfast with protein daily until it becomes habitual. (Step One in the book)
Keep track of breakfasts eaten daily by smiley stickers in my planner.

Breakfast--check; Reading--check

2. Practice Surya Namaskara A and Closing Sequence and Savasana every day except Saturdays, Moon Days and Girlie Holidays and Do 10 minutes of meditation folowing Savasana using the Meditations from the Mat book entry for that day. Keep track of practice days (or meditation on non practice days) by star stickers in my planner.

Yoga Practice--check; Meditation--check

3. Finish Reading "Lord of Chaos" (Book 6) and start on "A Crown of Swords" (Book 7).

Reading book 6--check

Today was AWESOME!!!! Trying to eat all this protein at breakfast (32g) is killing me, but I am trying. I made three eggs for breakfast this morning and ate two and almost gagged, so three eggs is one too many by far...because two is manageable. But then the awesome happened. I went to the beach, and there is a cafe there, and I went in to get some coffee and the cook had done someone's order wrong, so they had a free plate of eggs and biscuits and gravy that they offered to me. So I had 2 more egg whites and biscuits with sausage gravy and big chunks of sausage in it for brunch for free! So lots more protein. Granted after THAT, I didn't eat meat again until about an hour ago, because yeah, ewww. So for dinner I had lentil soup and hot dogs (I wanted chicken but was too hungry to wait because I waited too long to eat). Otherwise today was awesome still. The beach was cold and empty and wonderful <3 I also talked to my DBS counselor today about another work experience or school or whatever we can get worked out...and I heard from one of my bosses at Salvation Army, and they have work for me, but it doesn't look like the Development Assistant paid position is going to come through, so I am going to do the same thing I was doing for them before (basically filing and paperwork and clerical stuff) to make some money via the work experience thing, until I get a "real" work experience doing Case Management or Crisis Intervention or Addictions Counselor or something useful for my future, which may happen soon, because my DBS counselor talked to someone at a mental health place in the next county over (about a 2 hr one way commute) and they are interested in meeting with me, and we are planning to go over there and talk with them the week after next, and they have about 6 positions open that I qualify for, and I am eligible through DBS for a work experience and a deal where I work for 90 days as a trial period and then if it goes well, I go full time after that point with the company...kinda like a temp to hire but through DBS rather than a temp agency. Then we talked about how if THAT goes well (ie. I get a job doing something social services related and am successful at keeping it) then she can justify them giving me money to go back to school to get my MSW, which is what I REALLY want, so that I can get my license and do therapy and make some decent money and eventually work out of my beach house and do a combo of yoga therapy, art therapy and traditional therapy with my clients....and teach yoga classes on the beach too!  Sooooo yeah, thats the long term plan....and I see the steps  

My meditations for yesterday and today were really awesome too! It talked about how as a society, we want to help to make other people feel good and happy, without first addressing our own suffering and our own problems...and how that is an illogical way of thinking...and how to truly help others, we have to make sure we are okay first...which reminded me of how on airplanes they always say to put on your own oxygen mask first, then help your child or person next to you. Then the next days one was about how we can't progress in stopping problem behaviors and changing our lives with just intentions and no actions, and how that if you start taking the actions that are most suited to following your intention, how much less you fear the next steps after that and how much better and easier it becomes to keep following with that action. Which made me think about my plan for my life and school etc. and led me to talking to my DBS counselor about all that today, when normally I would have waited for her to bring it up, but I know I can do it, I know I want to do it and there is no reason to let my fears and insecurities stop me from going after what I want in life, when it is something that is a positive and not going to cause any harm to anyone. 

Then the kids came home. Awesome day over. LOL! Nah, they are great kids, they just fight too goddamn much about everything and get on my last nerve, and act like infants more often than not....but they are teenagers, I hear thats par for the course. 

[Bekah]

Lol! Sorry about that taking this point and running with it! It's just nice to talk to someone about it  

The dream house/ harem scenario sounds fun, let's do this! haha! Hubs and I were just talking about poly tribes the other night. I'm too much of a recluse for it, but he has a friend that is in one (with 10 people! TEN FREAKING PEOPLE!) and hubs is all for it. I am very much the same with only having energy to deal with 2 or 3 close relationships, anything else and my head would explode. I'd also be a great 3rd because I am pretty self sufficient emotionally these days. I drive hubby nuts because he is very needy emotionally and I am very distant, so he wants the intimacy 110% of the time and I just want to be left the frack alone! LOL! But if the two of us ever started dating someone, like together, I'd want it to be an equal triad. Not a 'we're primaries but s/he is our secondary' because that would make me feel like the other person is just a disposable plaything and that's not at all what I would want that to be about. If that makes sense? Haha...

Okay! Back to fitness related posting

Hah! I love that we can all talk about this too! I like the idea of like a duplex-ish being shared between two couples, so they can each have their space but it's shared at the same time. Any more than 3-4 people and I think I'd lose my mind, but it would be AWESOME to have another couple that we could have a relationship and then the guys could be friends too, giving everyone the bonding of friendship too, yanno? Hahahaha I'm the distant one too! LOL J and your hubs can be emotional together and we can go play video games! lololol!

Yes, I agree wholly with the equal footing if the third or even fourth person is a live in relationship, because then security can be all weird, but in the case of a newer, non live in, partnership, it makes sense to differentiate so that there isnt the issue of breaking the first partnership for the second, yanno? I mean hopefully it would be understood, but clarity is a good thing, but in terms of time and affection egc. total equality all the way.

I just did a fitness related post

[jedi_mind]

Sorry if you said so somewhere else, but where do you find daily meditations on a particular subject?

[Bekah]

Sorry if you said so somewhere else, but where do you find daily meditations on a particular subject?

It depends on the subject. The ones I am doing are centered around the spritual aspects of yoga as outlined in Patanjali's Yoga Sutras, but in a daily format in the book Meditations From The Mat but there are good daily meditation books for everything from addiction recovery to financial issues! Do you want me to help you find something specific? Feel free to PM me if you want to keep it off the forums

[Machete]

Checking-in. I know, we're from different guilds, but hey, fire me. Haha

[Bekah]

Checking-in. I know, we're from different guilds, but hey, fire me. Haha

 

First off, at least half of the people who post on my threads are not from the Druids, and the ones that are were probably not Druids last challenge! LOL! 

Secondly, Why would I fire my favorite Ranger Bodyguard? There aren't many out there who can deal with a Princess yanno? <3 

[Bekah]

Challenge Goals Day 3

1. Read "Your Last Diet" book and eat breakfast with protein daily until it becomes habitual. (Step One in the book)
Keep track of breakfasts eaten daily by smiley stickers in my planner.

Breakfast--check; Reading--check

2. Practice Surya Namaskara A and Closing Sequence and Savasana every day except Saturdays, Moon Days and Girlie Holidays and Do 10 minutes of meditation folowing Savasana using the Meditations from the Mat book entry for that day. Keep track of practice days (or meditation on non practice days) by star stickers in my planner.

Yoga Practice--check; Meditation--check

3. Finish Reading "Lord of Chaos" (Book 6) and start on "A Crown of Swords" (Book 7).

Reading book 6--check

Today was okay. Nothing amazing, but nothing bad either. Just an average day. My meditation this morning was about letting go of attachments and giving up behaviors like was mentioned yesterday, and I realized that not only can I do that in a spiritual or emotional sense, but also in a physical sense...like giving up spending money needlessly or giving up donuts, or giving up a little sleep to do morning meditation...so it was a nice reminder of the different ways I can work on giving up and letting go of attachments. Soooo, I decided to not go get donuts and coffee this morning and try not to spend any money while I was out running errands, and although I succeeded, I would have bought some water, had I had cash to do so. So I need to be better prepared for that in the future. Otherwise, I didn't really buy anything at all Granted, one of my errands was to do an exchange at Bath and Body Works for some new lotions, so that was kinda like buying something new, and I think it helped me not buy other stuff  

[Abtacha]

Challenge Goals Day 31. Read "Your Last Diet" book and eat breakfast with protein daily until it becomes habitual. (Step One in the book)

Keep track of breakfasts eaten daily by smiley stickers in my planner.Breakfast--check; Reading--check2. Practice Surya Namaskara A and Closing Sequence and Savasana every day except Saturdays, Moon Days and Girlie Holidays and Do 10 minutes of meditation folowing Savasana using the Meditations from the Mat book entry for that day. Keep track of practice days (or meditation on non practice days) by star stickers in my planner.Yoga Practice--check; Meditation--check3. Finish Reading "Lord of Chaos" (Book 6) and start on "A Crown of Swords" (Book 7).Reading book 6--checkToday was okay. Nothing amazing, but nothing bad either. Just an average day. My meditation this morning was about letting go of attachments and giving up behaviors like was mentioned yesterday, and I realized that not only can I do that in a spiritual or emotional sense, but also in a physical sense...like giving up spending money needlessly or giving up donuts, or giving up a little sleep to do morning meditation...so it was a nice reminder of the different ways I can work on giving up and letting go of attachments. Soooo, I decided to not go get donuts and coffee this morning and try not to spend any money while I was out running errands, and although I succeeded, I would have bought some water, had I had cash to do so. So I need to be better prepared for that in the future. Otherwise, I didn't really buy anything at all Granted, one of my errands was to do an exchange at Bath and Body Works for some new lotions, so that was kinda like buying something new, and I think it helped me not buy other stuff  

You call that an average day? You didn't buy donuts. And you didn't spend money on a bunch of crap that you don't need. I'd call that a great day! Your meditation seems to be working! <3

[Terinatum]

Lol! Sorry about that taking this point and running with it! It's just nice to talk to someone about it

But, if the two of us ever started dating someone, like together, I'd want it to be an equal triad. Not a 'we're primaries but s/he is our secondary' because that would make me feel like the other person is just a disposable plaything and that's not at all what I would want that to be about. If that makes sense?

I think there's acceptance in the community to have either option. It really is the triad that decides what's best for them, knowing things can change like any relationship. You should have what you want.

Sent via my phone b/c my laptop is out of reach. Cheers!

[Paradigm]

I completely agree with Abtacha... you're doing amazing! 

 

Do you believe it's the meditation or just a general shift in your mentality leading you to making the awesome better choices you are? Proud of you, Bekah!

[Bekah]

You call that an average day? You didn't buy donuts. And you didn't spend money on a bunch of crap that you don't need. I'd call that a great day! Your meditation seems to be working! <3

I completely agree with Abtacha... you're doing amazing! 

 

Do you believe it's the meditation or just a general shift in your mentality leading you to making the awesome better choices you are? Proud of you, Bekah!

Awww y'all are awesome <3 Thank you!!!!

As far as the why...I realized after doing this temporary job over Christmas, that I'm actually capable of working and even doing a good job, at something That goes entirely against my personality and interests, so if I can do that well, then I can certainly excel in something I am already qualified for and want to do...and the realization that I am truly capable of being a fully independent adult (something I never believed to be true before this) has given me the confidence to truly make choices based on my personal best interests irrespective of the necessity to fit that into another person's plans bc I "need" their help to survive. So that is where all these "good" choices are coming from, that and really looking at the areas I struggle with in a practical sense, like budgeting and meal planning etc. and finding ways to address those, and then the meditations are giving me a new perspective on things too...so its kind of all of the above

[BeautifulBeast]

1. You are amazing and I am glad you are doing things for you and not to please someone else!

2. Everytime you write a post I feel like I could have written at least part of it. YOU'RE IN MY BRAIN!

3. I need more info on these meditations! They sound awesome!

[Bekah]

The meditations I am doing are centered around the spritual aspects of yoga as outlined in Patanjali's Yoga Sutras, but in a daily format in the book Meditations From The Mat

  

1. You are amazing and I am glad you are doing things for you and not to please someone else!

2. Everytime you write a post I feel like I could have written at least part of it. YOU'RE IN MY BRAIN!

3. I need more info on these meditations! They sound awesome!

1. Thank you! It feels awesome

2. <3 I feel the same way about your posts <3

3. look up ^^^^^^^^^^

[Bekah]

Challenge Goals Day 4

1. Read "Your Last Diet" book and eat breakfast with protein daily until it becomes habitual. (Step One in the book)

Keep track of breakfasts eaten daily by smiley stickers in my planner.

Breakfast--check; Reading--check

2. Practice Surya Namaskara A and Closing Sequence and Savasana every day except Saturdays, Moon Days and Girlie Holidays and Do 10 minutes of meditation folowing Savasana using the Meditations from the Mat book entry for that day. Keep track of practice days (or meditation on non practice days) by star stickers in my planner.

Yoga Practice--check; Meditation--check

3. Finish Reading "Lord of Chaos" (Book 6) and start on "A Crown of Swords" (Book 7).

Reading book 6--check

Today I played Farmville and cleaned my house and had a date with J My meditation today was awesome again and really got me thinking. It was about how the concept of a practice (yoga, weight loss, running, bible study etc.) is really just putting your unwavering dedication and commitment into something you truly believe in and making that your focal point. I have always been the type of person with one foot in the door and one foot out, always with an escape, a back up plan, never fully committed to anything other than raising my children the best way I know how...I wasn't even always committed to my own self. It stems from a long, nasty history, but this made me think that maybe this lack of committment in my life was part of why I have struggled so much to achieve what I consider to be a successful career path, or a good marriage, or a solid yoga practice.

I never wanted to put "all my eggs in one basket" in case I failed (which I was sure was inevitable) and I convinced myself that the choice not to do that was a smart one, because too much trust in the wrong people or things can really bite you in the ass. Well, now I believe that I was dead wrong. I see that instead of helping me, this lack of committment has kept me isolated, afraid, depressed, unhappy and broke. So I sat down and wrote a list of the things in my life I was truly ready to commit to:

• My marriage
• My children's well being
• My personal well being
• My yoga practice
• Getting my MSW, Art Therapy and Yoga certifications and possibly an EDS certification
• Helping more people than I hurt and being the best version of myself
• Achieving Financial Stability via the Dave Ramsey babysteps, even if that means no more Rainbow Brite
• Owning a house within walking distance of the beach.

[Abtacha]

Challenge Goals Day 41. Read "Your Last Diet" book and eat breakfast with protein daily until it becomes habitual. (Step One in the book)

Keep track of breakfasts eaten daily by smiley stickers in my planner.Breakfast--check; Reading--check2. Practice Surya Namaskara A and Closing Sequence and Savasana every day except Saturdays, Moon Days and Girlie Holidays and Do 10 minutes of meditation folowing Savasana using the Meditations from the Mat book entry for that day. Keep track of practice days (or meditation on non practice days) by star stickers in my planner.Yoga Practice--check; Meditation--check3. Finish Reading "Lord of Chaos" (Book 6) and start on "A Crown of Swords" (Book 7).Reading book 6--checkToday I played Farmville and cleaned my house and had a date with J My meditation today was awesome again and really got me thinking. It was about how the concept of a practice (yoga, weight loss, running, bible study etc.) is really just putting your unwavering dedication and commitment into something you truly believe in and making that your focal point. I have always been the type of person with one foot in the door and one foot out, always with an escape, a back up plan, never fully committed to anything other than raising my children the best way I know how...I wasn't even always committed to my own self. It stems from a long, nasty history, but this made me think that maybe this lack of committment in my life was part of why I have struggled so much to achieve what I consider to be a successful career path, or a good marriage, or a solid yoga practice.

I never wanted to put "all my eggs in one basket" in case I failed (which I was sure was inevitable) and I convinced myself that the choice not to do that was a smart one, because too much trust in the wrong people or things can really bite you in the ass. Well, now I believe that I was dead wrong. I see that instead of helping me, this lack of committment has kept me isolated, afraid, depressed, unhappy and broke. So I sat down and wrote a list of the things in my life I was truly ready to commit to:

• My marriage
• My children's well being
• My personal well being
• My yoga practice
• Getting my MSW, Art Therapy and Yoga certifications and possibly an EDS certification
• Helping more people than I hurt and being the best version of myself
• Achieving Financial Stability via the Dave Ramsey babysteps, even if that means no more Rainbow Brite
• Owning a house within walking distance of the beach.

The third one should be in the first place! But other than that it's a great list to work on

I have lots of the commitment issues you're talking about. I think that's part of why my marriage wasn't a real marriage (more like to friends playing house) until recently. I always assured myself that I would be fine if he left me and that's how I treated my husband like he was going to leave me at any time. Learned a lot in the last two month, partly because you're a great person to talk to and partly because my husband and I are working together on things for the first time ever!

<3