Chapter 5: Rewritten by the Wildcolonialgrrl herself.

[Matt_72]

Gracias

[WildColonialGrrl]

No worries, Matt!

Well, turns out being home with no routine doesn't work out that well for me. Haven't stretched much this week so far and am just scraping in the no zero days with some small amounts of walking.

Popped into work yesterday and it wasn't as bad as I had expected. Will probably catch up the journaling closer to the weekend. Am going away for the long weekend.

Did have a good chat with a friend about mindfulness and meditation yesterday and she mentioned a heart meditation she could teach me and spoke of a body check where you ask yourself if the food you are going to eat will be good for your body (and theoretically, your body responds the the answer if you listen hard enough).

The Druids mini challenge has definitely been food for thought... And I will probably write something overly long in response when I am done ruminating on it.

[WildColonialGrrl]

Might not have much Interwebs over the next few days, so apologies for any radio silence. Heading off to a wee music festival small town a couple of hours or so from home (probs closer to 3 in the Winnebago... But the sheer luxury is so worth it).

I will probably get some incidental exercise from walking between venues (possibly a clogging? workshop - not Dutch but Appalachian style...) and if I get up early enough there is yoga on offer. Will have time and space to work on the mindfulness meditations, which I am looking forward to and maybes work out how to embed some practice in my daily life.

[Affekonig]

awww, envy ways to go for festival season here. have fun!

[Matt_72]

Have fun!

[Mad Hatter]

Festival sounds fun, hope you'll have a great time!

[WildColonialGrrl]

Had a bad nights sleep after a call from a friend in the middle of a suicidal panic attack. Too many ks away to help like I wanted and then took ages to relax and fall asleep and woke again with worry. She's ok in hospital waiting for a psych assessment. I am so glad my shit rarely gets that bad but love that the boards here are a place where people can talk freely and get support when the black dog appears. I hate feeling so helpless though...

So I went and danced!

Added a few thousand steps to fit bit (working again) rather quickly doing a flatfoot/clogging/butt dancing workshop. Now I really want some cowboy boots!

Tomorrow a Morris dancing workshop. Will Probs want bells and hankies after that.

Sorry. Sent from my phone using 14 thumbs mashing independently and with great enthusiasm.

[joedog]

I'm so glad your friend called you. I hope that she's able to get the help she needs so she can feel better.

The music festival sounds like a blast!

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[Matt_72]

You're good people WCG

[WildColonialGrrl]

Thanks. She's at home again now with support.

Wrote in journal then did a guided 15 min breathing body scan and after that decided I needed a nap. Didn't sleep but had 45mins of rest and am feeling better this evening.

Sorry. Sent from my phone using 14 thumbs mashing independently and with great enthusiasm.

[WildColonialGrrl]

Druid mini-challenge 1

What does consciousness mean to you?

In order to find that out we ask you to be be conscious about: Food.

What do I eat?

I was vegetarian for about a decade for ethical reasons when I started reading Mark's Daily Apple website on the suggestion of a wiry old gym instructor with some interesting theories. I got a bad case of pneumonia (on top of my susually well controlled chronic asthma) and as I was getting better had the most intense cravings for meat and decided listening to my body might be the way to go whilst struggling to recover. 

A few things happened... I found lots of sources (including the supermarket) of free range and organic meats had popped up in ten years but more importantly I found that my body works better on meat and veg. Even as a vegetarian I wasn't eating enough veg but lots of cheese and breads/pasta/carbs. Cutting out a lot of this stuff suddenly freed me from reflux, gas, sinus headaches, bloating, and quick dashes to the toilet! I had thought these things were normal in my family... Hereditary even.

I'm not saying after these great revelations I now eat perfectly,I don't. I struggle with avoiding cakes and biscuits and bread even if I know it will make my insides feel bad. I still drink more alcohol than I should on occasions. I eat too much sugary food when I am in a sooky mood. I am still trying to work those bits out.

How do I eat?

I joined the Druids for this challenge because I know that I am not mindful around food. I just shovel it in. If it something really yummy I then want more because I didn't satiate my desire with the portion I had. So this mini challenge has me thinking about why I do this. Ah, childhood!

The smaller of childhood hangovers is probably the rule that you finish what's on your plate (there are starving children in Africa). I find it really hard to leave things especially if I have paid for them.

The big one for me is really that I learnt to eat whether I was hungry or not to survive. I had really bad asthma til I was about 12. Diagnosed at 2, nearly died at 5, a scrawny wheezy kid who wasn't hungry because I was too busy concentrating on breathing and too tired to do much because I didn't sleep well from the wheezing. I had to eat. I don't really remember having an appetite until I was 10 or so. I was growing, doing things, I could breath better, I was putting on weight, hitting puberty. But by then I had learned to eat whether I was hungry or not.

I also have a fairly embarrassing inability to refuse free food. I have spent a few days thinking about the origin of this. It's not like I've even been that hard up but it may be a trait learned from parents (especially my Dad) or something I picked up during uni and backpacking years where if I could get a free feed then there was more money for beer. This makes avoiding breads, cakes and biscuits difficult especially in my current work place where hospitality is part of their way of being so there are often really nice left overs from catered lunches and frequent morning teas. I can have a really good lunch packed, the best of intentions about my eating for the day/week/rest of my life but it's there and it NEEDS eating otherwise they will throw it out... And I can eat mine tomorrow, right? Gah!

 

When do I eat?

I always had to eat breakfast... I used to like it when mum would do me a poached egg on toast but as I grew older anything would do, chips or choclate cake even, as login as I had something to eat before school. I am rarely hungry at breakfast time but even weight loss people spruik the 'gotta keep that metabolism firing' line. I would like to give IF a go but my work is very structured time wise so I'm not sure about reconnecting with real hunger... 

Why do I eat?

Because it is meal time, because I am sad/angry (sugar), because I am having a craving, because I am actually feeling starving hungry and HAVE to eat right now (I don't always make the best choices at this point)!

You can't outrun your fork and these are the things that need sorting before I can move any further forward with lifestyle change. It has been difficult thinking about these things and picking at them, but interesting at the same time to see what is underlying the choices I make. 

[WildColonialGrrl]

I has some free Internet...

It's Sunday. Australia Day. I am at a folk festival with a distinct lack of bogan sensibilities. Next up is a Morris dancing workshop then I hope to catch a poetry/music performance called 'The lies that made Australia.'

I will do a week catch up by long story short stretching has gone to hell and needs some reconsideration for the rest of the challenge... No zero is fine, moving along on both mindfulness and journaling.

[Stonie]

Happy Australia day WildColonialGirl! 
 

I sympathise with your "can't turn down free food" problem, I'm in the same industry and it seems like such a waste to chuck it all out! And it's always scones, or sandwiches, or cakes that they are tying to throw out. Mmm, carbs. I've started trying to palm it off to my partner, but you could always find a homeless shelter in your area and take it there if you feel so inclined? Or suggest it to the higher-ups at work and try and organise your leftovers to go there instead of in the bin.  There's probably some Food Safety thing stopping that specifically, but you could always try!

[WildColonialGrrl]

Cheers teagardrn. It's been a nice day but I miss the expensive expenditure on fireworks that usually marks Aus Day.

I like your suggestions but it doesn't stop ME putting all the carbs in my face...

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[Mad Hatter]

Not yet, but understanding the whys and hows of your eating habits is a great step to changing them!

[Matt_72]

How did it end up?

[WildColonialGrrl]

Pretty much as previously written... Will expand tomorrow... Not a great start to week 4. Have to be up early to take friend to her psych appt tomorrow then start back at work on Wednesday. Hopefully, then I can get some better routine going... But a lot to organise and think about before then!

[WildColonialGrrl]

Righto... Am procrastinating getting organised because I go back to work tomorrow. Have read ALL the pages but need to update mine.

PT and a stretch today to start a better run.

Week 3 the wash up

No zero - 7/7

Stretch/yoga - 2/7 oh dear. If I don't deliberately exercise, I don't stretch and 1.25km on the bike into of per back from festival to camp by bike doesn't seem to cut it...

Mindfulness - get plenty of time to myself when I'm travelling and time to think.

Journaling - got stuff written and a fair chunk for the consciousness challenge part 1

Week 4 so far ...Tuesday

No Zero 2/7

Stretch/yoga 1/7

Mindfulness - got the files for the audio that goes with the book from the publishers as their website is under going work.

Journal - not yet this week, dare say I will need it by Thursday!

What's up with the stretch! I can can fudge the no zero, but the stretch is not working yet. Maybe when I come home from work, a stretch and a few minutes of breathing mindfulness like savasana, or just before bed...

This week (4) is a three day work week where I start to get my shit together (or find out where the shit might settle)... Week 5 to get the kinks ironed out and 6 to bed it in for a good start to the year.

For the consciousness task 2 from the Druids so far this week I have been conscious of how the food I eat makes me feel. It is very strange not to document or experiment, just to be conscious of it. Might be useful to short circuit scoring systems with my eating in that all or nothing way. Don't know if it will be the thing that makes the difference, part of the thing or nothing but it is good to play with for the moment. Different, unusual...

[WildColonialGrrl]

First day back at work but all meetings. No kids til Monday.

Was conscious of both how food made me feel and hungry not hungry feelings. Most of the food I ate today made me feel less than awesome and it takes a lot of asking to decide if I am really hungry then when I really am I eat til physically have sensation of stomach full which is way more than I need coz I eat too fast because I feel hungry... How circular!

So I ate all the bad things, did nothing except hurt with DOMS for no zero, have not stretched and then went to the pub for a Parma and a couple of beers. I am going to go to bed now and try to get close to 8 hours after the <6 of the last two nights. And my knee hurts.

Yoga class starts again tomorrow evening. Friday I might get the train to work so I get a walk in (friday drinks too?).

[WildColonialGrrl]

Ok, now after that glitch and my ever enthusiastic impatience... I need to learn how to delete posts!

[WildColonialGrrl]

Haven't worked out how to delete posts whilst using the iPad but I did learn today that both yesterday and today when I suspected there was nothing to add to the no zero day ledger there actually was!

When I leave my grandma's house I give her a kiss or two (because you can't leave a person unbalanced - or more unbalanced than they already are, being the standard reply) if she has her legs up in the recliner I do a push up on the arms of the chair with each kiss. Yesterday I remember complaining about the DOMS in my abs! So I did do something more than nothing! Ha!

Yoga felt good after my hectic and slightly frazzling day at work.

Was mindful of sugar today as I stuffed it repeatedly in my face... Snakes, grapes, smarties all sugar all in the cake hole like an addict. Weird sensation.

[Skywalker]

Parma and a pot -just adding to the bogunism

OK - step away from the absolute crap that multiplies in the staff room at the start of term.

We have had plates of leftover morning tea etc handing around and I just imagine someone has sneezed on them

Oh well done on the no zeros

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[joedog]

Ooh! Imagining someone has sneezed on the goodies is a great idea! And it's probably even true! 

[WildColonialGrrl]

Today I have been especially conscious of the effects that beer in decent quantity has on my body. Not good, not good. I think that's me off beer til Easter for this to settle down.

Doing better across goals this week as my routine begins to re establish itself.

Sneeze idea doesn't work for me because it won't hurt unless you inhale it, straight into stomach acid and all is well. Not well washed hands from the loo however...

[Skywalker]

I was going to say that I think someone has sneezed on it. It might be easier because we get the left overs in IT and it always looks a bit preloved.

What about a nose picker? Imagine it is already a day old (works for well for donuts).

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