Nax Becomes A Mentalist: The Confidence Edition

[Haku]

Explain to me. How exactly can you talk too fast?

[Ahyar Dreamspark]

It'slikeItalklikethisinreallifewheneverIgetevenremotelyexcitedaboutsomething!!!1

 

Well, fast to the point where I'll mispronounce or mess up words way more often than I'd like to, which just make me more nervous and speak even faster, etc. It's a vicious cycle. I used to be in the campus ToastMasters Club (an organization dedicated to improving publlic speaking ability) and the comment/feedback I always got was that I spoke too fast.

 

Speaking slower (ie, at a normal pace) will also make me appear more calm, which might eventually make me feel more calm XD

[Haku]

Sounds logical. I'm very curious how fast you talk then, because I'm not much of a fast speaker. I guess I usually speak normally. Especially when I'm presenting stuff I'm speaking calmly and articulate well. It's a good thing to pay attention to the comma's in words, and pause there. Be sure to stress the things that need to be stressed. By doing that you'll automatically will speak slower. At least, that's my experience. 

[citizenkade]

My wife is an incredibly fast speaker, and we used to work in radio. It was amazing how fast she could blitz through her announcements!

 

I don't think I have ever seen that much dijon on anything before! Awesome!

[Kan]

Well, from what I can remember Daggerhir is more focused on the combat than the role playing aspects. Now of course people can get as deep with the role playing as they want. But it's not required. The wars can be massive in scale. Think medieval reenactment size XD We had a math teacher from Louisiana once. That was entertaining. She talked about twice as fast as everyone else, and it was math. She got alot of blank stares when she asked questions. Oh and I got owned the first time I tried the staring game. I really tried hard, but the guys eyes face opposite directions (lazy eye lol). Do I have the best of luck or what?

°~°

[I am Eve]

Ugh.

The one good thing about the spectacular meltdown that was New Year's Eve is that things can't possibly get any worse in 2014. I'll post the results to my previous challenge at some point in the near future, but let's just say that the good habits I've developed during challenge time (mostly the meditating and Lumosity exercises) also took some time off during the holidays, leaving me essentially right back where I started, if not even further behind. Holiday cheer, my ass.

What follows is an excerpt from the previous challenge's original post, because I am far too lazy and unmotivated to re-type things right now:

 

 

That is still me.

This isn't to say that the last challenge was useless. I'm probably better at meditating now than I was before I started, and my life quest progress bar is probably at 1% instead of being at its previous position of zero. Same goes for my Lumosity score: it definitely increased. I should probably keep at it. Who knows, my life quest progress bar might get to 1.5%, or maybe even 2%!

It was established that my main quest in life was to be a Wizard. Since RL sucks and won't let me be a real Wizard, however, becoming a Mentalist will be the closest thing.

How am I going to accomplish this?

2.1: Meditate daily. Pass/fail. Same as last time, but BETTER!

2.2: Lumosity brain exercises. Pass/fail. See above. Need to get that +INT!

2.3, focusing and noticing. Pass/fail.

There are a few exercises mentioned in the Mentalist book. The first one is in the section on how to increase your attention:

 

Practice. Focus on one object, person, or situation which you find utterly uninteresting and study every detail about it until you are able to describe it. Pick a flower. Touch it. Smell it. Feel its texture. How many petals does it have? How long is the stem? What is the color and shape of the petals? Start to take notice of the details in the things around you: the places you visit, the people passing by, etc. You'll be surprised at the little things that you'll start to notice.

 

The second is 2 pages after. A memory exercise: Taking Notice.

 

To improve your recall of even the most minute details, try engaging in a mental review of each day's events. This can help you engage your attention during the day so that you recall of events is sharper, clearer, and available anytime for future retrieval.

 

Try to do this work in the evening, when you feel at ease, but don't do it after you retire. (The bed is made for sleeping, not for thinking!) Sit down alone at night and spend fifteen quiet, distraction-free minutes focusing on the important happenings of the day. After a few days, you will find that you can recall more and more. Events will come back to you more precisely and more clearly each time.

 

When you first begin this exercise, you may find that you have trouble recalling what you had for breakfast or what the cashier at the coffee shop looked like. But as your subconscious gets used to being called into duty, you'll find that you'll start to "take notice" of what happens as it happens, a skill that investigators across the country and around the world rely on heavily.

 

I haven't decided if I'll make myself do both of these daily or only one. Will see, and adjust the grading scheme in my favor accordingly.

 

Life quest: DEVELOP CONFIDENCE! More on this later.

Diet/fitness side quests: plant some herbs, once per week. Pass/fail. I figure that, since I'll likely be a mainstay in the Druids guild and Druids are close to nature, this would be appropriate. Ever since that one tiny intro to plant physiology in 1st year biology lectures, I've had a deeper respect for plants, and I've wanted to experiment with growing useful and/or medicinal herbs that I can add to my food. This will be very challenging, because I am known for having one hell of a black thumb. And cats.

I had a list of potential side quests that also involved drawing and increasing my vocabulary. I'll probably do a bit of this on the side no matter what, hence why they didn't get picked. They may become official in future challenges, though.

I also thought about continuing with the "no picking at my face" and "eat more vegetables" goals from my last challenge since I didn't succeed at those as well as I wanted to, but I figure it would be too repetitive. I'll make a thread in the Battle Logs forum with these items instead, or simply keep track in a notepad file or something. There were mentions of a "Nutrition Challenge" at the gym I go to as well, and I'm still waiting to hear details about that. I have a feeling it's going to involve a lot less alcohol, which makes me sad.

Right. Confidence. If I had to rate my self-confidence and/or self-worth on most days, it would oscillate between 0/10 and 1/10. Why? I'm not sure. My body and face look great now, which was not always the case. I embarked on my fitness journey approximately ten years ago, but mentally it's like I'm still the fat loser kid who fails at life in every way from my high school days. The kid who was the object of every joke and constant ridicule. The kid who can't look people in the eye for fear of anyone noticing and saying things ranging from "GOT A PROBLEM!?" to "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT, STUPID BITCH!?" followed by lulz from everyone else. The kid who plummets to the bottom of the social ladder the moment anyone speaks loudly or uses a dismissive tone. The kid who agrees with everything and everyone just to avoid a possible confrontation, because in RL I can't just rejoin with a new user name after I get my ass handed to me and publicly humiliated.

This is essentially me:

And I hate the thought of it. This is the opposite of who I want to be.

I have no idea how to grade or quantify a confidence-based challenge. I made a list of things I need to accomplish to become more confident, but none of them are really gradable (I am working on all of them, though.) I figure an other good place to start would be the NF article written by Steve, 5 Ways to Instantly Appear More Confident.

#1: Stop slouching.

I'm already working on this. In fact, I have been since I started at a new gym in mid/late November and began lifting. Meditation during my last challenge also helped me straighten up and be more aware of my posture, and will continue to do so. I won't add anything posture-related to this challenge because I know that my inner OCD has already turned its gaze to posture, so I'm good to go there.

Grading: N/A.

#2: SLOW DOWN!

 

This I definitely have problems with. I speak a hundred miles per hour, mess up my words, then become self-conscious and anxious, which makes me speak even faster and...yeah. Although Steve only mentions speaking rate in his article about confidence, I think it also applies to walking pace as well. I normally walk way faster than I need to, and over the last few months I've noticed that someone else I know IRL does the same thing and, well, it looks really freaking awkward when I notice it in someone else. I don't want to look awkward. I want to be the Wizard that's always cool and collected and arrives precisely when he means to. Walking slower and less awkwardly would also give off an air of IDGAF which, in turn, may make me care less about trivial things.

Grading:  I'll grade this based on how often I catch myself speaking or walking too rapidly.

Speak/walk too fast 0 to 4 times: A

Speak/walk too fast 5 to 9 times: B

Speak/walk too fast 10 to 14 times: C

Speak/walk too fast 15 to 19 times: D

Speak/walk too fast 20+ times: F

I'll adjust the grading scheme if I find that this is too easy.

Also, walking fast between buildings when it's -30­°C or lower outside doesn't count.

#3: Smile!

 

Ooooh boy...

 

"Don’t know how to smile correctly?  Stand in front of a mirror, close your eyes, and look down.  Look up, smile, and open your eyes at the same time.  See that smile right there?  THAT’S a genuine smile."

 

I just attempted this and looked a lot like a serial killer. My eyes are deep set and I have a fairly angular face, which makes me look like a typical Hollywood villain. Don't get me wrong, this is great for cosplaying or being a drunken idiot on Chatroulette, but not so great when attempting to not look like a creep, which beings me to the next point of the article...

#4: Win the staring contest.

 

"Starting right now, you’re going to be the person that doesn’t look away.  Think of each interaction as a mini-battle – your eyes against theirs.  As long as you’re smiling and blinking, you won’t come across as creepy…unless, of course, you’re actually a creep."

Well, shit.

 

This is me pretending to be a Sith Lord (or me wearing a hoodie, but the first descriptor was more interesting.)

 

This challenge seems very daunting, and is made even worse by the fact that I like to wear clothes that  are slightly outside of the "normal" range, which makes people stare at me more than they would stare at the muggles. Did I mention that people often have a hard time telling if I'm a guy or a girl, too? In other words, people stare. A lot. And if I stare back and they don't stop staring and I don't stop staring back, things get awkward reeeaal fast. WAT DO? D:

Also, that paragraph further up where I mention that I can't look people in the eye because of high school PTSD/bullshit. Seriously. I cannot look people in the eye. I used to love drawing, but I could never draw faces/eyes, so I just quit. For several years I even had a hard time looking people in pictures in the eye. Fortunately, I can do this last one now after extensive training on Tumblr.

 

If you think this is pathetic, you are absolutely correct.

 

Grading: "Win" five times per day.

^ I know I'm going to regret this.

#5: Get out of your head. This one isn't much of a problem for me right now. I'm not afraid of asking potential employers if they have positions open, and I'm not scared of introducing myself at parties. Presentations usually go allright if there is no grade attached to it, and hpoefully my thesis defense (assuming I don't quit my Masters) will be the LAST presentation I'll ever have to make where I'm going to be judged.

Grading: N/A.

 

This should be it for my 3rd challenge.

 

I shall leave you all with a bonus item that I found while browsing my pictures folder. It is of a tomato that is shaped like Lemon Grab from Adventure Time:

 

 

 

FAILURE IS UNACCEPTABLE!!!!1

 

Hi Nax! Good to see you again.

I don't think you'll enjoy this next part.

I have to admit though that even if I find your challenge interesting (and amusing) it is a bit too heterogenous for me. If there is a clear red thread through it all for you I'm glad but is this really working?

 

I could be totally wrong, but are you really striving for a goal that is within yourself to unveil?

I see you not so much as a wizard or a mentalist (using my own definitions) but more like a faun with features lent from Dionysus. A jester who gives joy and distractions to those that are sad. And believe me, I say this in a very positive way. Someone strong and mysterious.

Ok, like I said I could be so wrong and you are of course in your full right to tell me to F off 

 

I do however love your staring contest goal for all the strength it shows in you. 

And meditation , just keep at it. I think meditation will enable you to listen to your true inner voice.

 

Enough for now

 

Eve (devoted but sometimes a naysayer)

[Eirlys]

Ty! ...and when that Khaleesi wig comes in, we need to see pics XD

 

I don't remember all the rules for the NERO system, but I know that you're allowed a few resurrections. The first one is a given, but after that I think you have to draw a marble from a bag, and if you get the black marble then you're permanently dead. Each time you die then you have greater odds of picking the black marble. I think that they stopped counting any character deaths during someone's first event recently, too, probably to increase newbie retention. I certainly won't be complaining, because Elf starting HP are pretty freaking low lol.

 

I should probably order some ears in the next month or so...

 

Also, if you can find that paragraph on eye contact, that would be awesome.

 

Heh pics for sure - I think I'll be getting Khaleesi in mid-Feb, so I have a little wait ... something nice to look forward to at the end of the challenge!

 

Not really killing people on their first dungeon is a good plan... our system does that too  Interesting resurrection system, I'd be very nervous picking that marble!  Elf ears should be cheap, on ebay or something  Although I notice that the elf ears I tried recently didn't match my skin tone whatsoever, so it may be worth factoring that into the search if it's possible!

 

I tried looking in one of the likely books for the eye thingy but didn't see it... I'll keep looking!  

 

p.s. I've been advised to speak slower too!  I even got some coaching on this... the coach suggested I record myself reading, with pauses every 5 words or so in the sentence, and play it back so that you can hear that speaking slowly actually sounds fine, whereas speaking 'normally' sounds breathless/too fast! 

 

She also pointed out that if you speak fast you have to catch your breath between words and the shallow breathing actually causes more adrenaline to flow, making you both sound & feel more nervous.  Whereas speaking slower, taking more time to breathe & deeper, does in fact physically relax you!

 

Unlike the mysterious eye contact thing, I have my notes from the session (including some suggested breathing exercises) all typed up in my google drive, so happy to paste it hear if you're interested

[Ahyar Dreamspark]

Sounds logical. I'm very curious how fast you talk then, because I'm not much of a fast speaker. I guess I usually speak normally. Especially when I'm presenting stuff I'm speaking calmly and articulate well. It's a good thing to pay attention to the comma's in words, and pause there. Be sure to stress the things that need to be stressed. By doing that you'll automatically will speak slower. At least, that's my experience. 

 

Yeh, this is mostly what this challenge is about, just becoming aware of when I'm speaking too quickly.

 

My first language is French, too, and it tends to be spoken faster than English, so that (along with the anxiety) probably doesn't help haha!

 

 

My wife is an incredibly fast speaker, and we used to work in radio. It was amazing how fast she could blitz through her announcements!

 

I don't think I have ever seen that much dijon on anything before! Awesome!

 

I'm so jealous of people who can speak fast AND clearly o_O Ideally I'll be able to do that some day too. Maybe the crappy job market will help me with this, because I'll probably end up working in a call centre. It's doing to suck ass from a straw, but at least I'll be able to practice speaking? (HEY LOOK, I FOUND THE POSITIVE IN SOMETHING OMG!)

 

And lol, a jar of Dijon doesn't last a month in this house XD

 

 

Well, from what I can remember Daggerhir is more focused on the combat than the role playing aspects. Now of course people can get as deep with the role playing as they want. But it's not required. The wars can be massive in scale. Think medieval reenactment size XD We had a math teacher from Louisiana once. That was entertaining. She talked about twice as fast as everyone else, and it was math. She got alot of blank stares when she asked questions. Oh and I got owned the first time I tried the staring game. I really tried hard, but the guys eyes face opposite directions (lazy eye lol). Do I have the best of luck or what?

°~°

 

Oh ok. So it's like the medieval reenactment with less possibilities for injury

 

Urgh, teachers who speak fast...I remember my biochem prof in 2nd year spoke as fast as Macklemore, and ripped through difficult concepts. Thankfully he put recordings of his lectures on the course web site but still. Wow. I had to listen to the recordings like 3 to 4 times just to catch everything, and it took hours. Sometimes I heard his voice in my sleep, which was kind of creepy lol. At least his lectures were also punctuated with humor.

 

 

Heh pics for sure - I think I'll be getting Khaleesi in mid-Feb, so I have a little wait ... something nice to look forward to at the end of the challenge!

 

Not really killing people on their first dungeon is a good plan... our system does that too  Interesting resurrection system, I'd be very nervous picking that marble!  Elf ears should be cheap, on ebay or something  Although I notice that the elf ears I tried recently didn't match my skin tone whatsoever, so it may be worth factoring that into the search if it's possible!

 

I tried looking in one of the likely books for the eye thingy but didn't see it... I'll keep looking!  

 

p.s. I've been advised to speak slower too!  I even got some coaching on this... the coach suggested I record myself reading, with pauses every 5 words or so in the sentence, and play it back so that you can hear that speaking slowly actually sounds fine, whereas speaking 'normally' sounds breathless/too fast! 

 

She also pointed out that if you speak fast you have to catch your breath between words and the shallow breathing actually causes more adrenaline to flow, making you both sound & feel more nervous.  Whereas speaking slower, taking more time to breathe & deeper, does in fact physically relax you!

 

Unlike the mysterious eye contact thing, I have my notes from the session (including some suggested breathing exercises) all typed up in my google drive, so happy to paste it hear if you're interested

 

Hooray for pics!

 

Thanks a bunch for the tips and notes, too! I'd love to see the other notes and breathing exercises as well (here or PM depending on size, doesn't matter.) Recording myself speaking sounds terrifying, but I've thought of doing it before...maybe it'll be something for the next challenge: Nax speaks properly!

 

Shit, that's actually a good idea for a side challenge. What have you done!?

 

 

 

Hi Nax! Good to see you again.

I don't think you'll enjoy this next part.

I have to admit though that even if I find your challenge interesting (and amusing) it is a bit too heterogenous for me. If there is a clear red thread through it all for you I'm glad but is this really working?

 

I could be totally wrong, but are you really striving for a goal that is within yourself to unveil?

I see you not so much as a wizard or a mentalist (using my own definitions) but more like a faun with features lent from Dionysus. A jester who gives joy and distractions to those that are sad. And believe me, I say this in a very positive way. Someone strong and mysterious.

Ok, like I said I could be so wrong and you are of course in your full right to tell me to F off 

 

I do however love your staring contest goal for all the strength it shows in you. 

And meditation , just keep at it. I think meditation will enable you to listen to your true inner voice.

 

Enough for now

 

Eve (devoted but sometimes a naysayer)

 

Heterogeneous is like my middle name, unfortunately. No joke, I took all the career counseling workshops on campus because WTF HOW DO I LIFE, and my results were pretty much all over the map for the "strong career interests" workshop. Or whatever it was called. There was a loooong survey to fill out and it was supposed to be incredibly precise, and at the actual workshop the lady running the session looked at my results and was all like *???*

 

A clear red thread? Weeellll...

 

 

Sort of XD

 

I have a list in a word doc with a pile of potential challenge items written in it. I'm not sure what the correct order for these items should be, so I just go through said list according to what I feel I need to work on the most at the time. The holidays were horrible, and from what I could gather after some reflection and discussion, my own lack of confidence and lack of calmness was a big part of the problem. I want the entry into 2015 to be the opposite.

 

Strong and mysterious? I try lol. A jester giving joy and distractions to those that are sad? That's totally me, too. This actually tends to come naturally, but I still need to be confident in myself in order to be able to bring teh lulz on a scale bigger than my friend's living room at a party.

 

What is your definition of a Wizard and/or a mentalist btw? I like to say I aspire to be a Wizard mainly based on D&D Online (and D&D in general--trying to learn to tabletop!) since their main stat is INT. On D&D Online, the Wizard icon is also a book. In RL I'm a professional student at heart and see myself collecting degrees like Pokémon for the rest of my life.I love to read and learn, so I figured "being a Wizard" was fitting. As for the mentalist thing, that's just a goal I gave myself after reading the book I mentioned in the OP: being able to do those types of "tricks" and readings would be aaaaaawesome! It seems like magic, and all you need to do it is a brain. As an added bonus, things that will help get me there are meditation, confidence, better social skills, and improving memory, attention and focus. I basically can't lose :3 The goals are all somewhat intertwined, now that I think about it.

 

Lastly, I'm a bit rusty on my myths, so I had to Google Dionysus...

 

"Dionysus was the god of the grape harvest, winemaking and wine, of ritual madness and ecstasy in Greek mythology"

 

Stop spying on me during weekends!

 

Thanks for the post, though, even though it was full of questions. Thinking about these questions actually helped.

 

Challenge scores for today will be posted tomorrow because I have yet to go to the grocery store. It will be my last chance to win the staring contest!

[Haku]

Yeh, this is mostly what this challenge is about, just becoming aware of when I'm speaking too quickly.

My first language is French, too, and it tends to be spoken faster than English, so that (along with the anxiety) probably doesn't help haha!

Ah right. You're from the French part of Canada. I was already wondering about that. n_n Je comprend un petit peux de Français, mais c'est pas beaucoup. Ma vocabulaire est tres pretit et ma grammaire est horrible. >.> (J'ai ecriré ça sans Google Translate. ) Quand je parle Français, je parle lentement, parce que je veux prononcé les mots correctement. Well that was my horrible French, just the basics that I barely remember. xD But indeed, French people speak incredibly fast. I've heard it enough in France and when I was still able to speak proper French I used to ask people to speak slower, because I simply couldn't understand what they were saying. Maybe you should also challenge yourself to speak as fast as possible, though. n_n Just to see how good you're at speaking fast, haha!

[Ahyar Dreamspark]

Oh yeah, it's even worse in France. I went there for a week or so once, and not only are some of the expressions different, they speak a lot faster than French people in Canada do lol. It took me a few days to adjust, fo' sho'.

 

I was able to understand what you wrote, so you're still doing good! Truth be told, my French vocabulary and grammar is also going downhill due to all my courses and books being in English. We speak French at home, but the lack of an expansive vocabulary is definitely contributing to my increasing herp-a-derpness.

 

It's on the to-do challenge list, actually: read more French books, to bring back the epic word range I once had XD So it might pop up in a future challenge down the road.

 

Yesterday's scores (Jan 14):

 

1.1, meditation: done (not as well as I would have liked. Back was sore.)

1.2, Lumosity: done

1.3, focus and attention: not done

 

2.1, slow down: pass

 

I've decided to change this to a pass/fail grading system, because counting the times I mess up usually 1) gets forgotten, and 2) makes me mess up more if I'm thinking of keeping track of how many times I've screwed up a word while I'm talking x_x

 

Yesterday I didn't screw up as much as usual, and did not speak or walk places awkwardly fast. My posture was generally great, too! (Maybe that's why my upper back is sore?)

 

2.2, "win" the staring contest: 2/5

 

The grocery store arena! It was fairly late when I went, so there weren't as many challengers as I would have liked. Won 2, lost 2, and caught one guy looking at my chest o_O (I had a hoodie on, under my black long coat. I also have A cups, so I'm assuming he was only looking there in order to figure out if I was a guy or a girl?)

 

I'm starting to come up with strategies for the staring contest now. It seems that the trick is to catch people staring at me, then they usually look away first XD So if I can kind of keep people in my peripheral vision and only make eye contact when I think they're looking at me, I'll win more often. Hoorah!

 

Also, there were 1L cartons of egg whites on sale for 99 cents. ONE LITER. FOR 99 CENTS! DSDAFDSAGDFGF!!!1

 

3.1, herbs: did not acquire pots X( Some good news: my cats have not developed an urge to eat the herbs I currently have. I hope this does not change.

[Ahyar Dreamspark]

Jan 15 scores: Fail to all

 

It all started with a little glass of wine. But then I was like NO! and I got my ass to a BodyJam class. It was my first time, and...it was amazingly fun. I did break a sweat, but it wasn't intense cardio or lifting or anything. It was one hell of a mental workout to remember all the moves and copy them properly, though! I'll definitely be going again, because it's something exciting to do during rest day...and the moves can potentially be applied in clubs XD

 

But then I got back home and drank more wine. And beer. This makes me sad because now I'll have to try to not drink any alcohol tonight. Maybe I can pull up "the list" from my previous challenge. Oh wait. I shouldn't be drinking alcohol tonight anyway. Guh, I have a feeling that the "no alcohol on weekdays" quest is running behind this challenge thread screaming "HEY WAIT UP!"

[I am Eve]

Great job going to body jam!

 

I like wine, and when I had one glass I often want another. Solution: not having wine at home. I think it's a great idea not to drink alcohol on weekdays and I practice it. Makes sleep better and energy levels higher.

Let that part of the challenge catch up 

[Ahyar Dreamspark]

One of those days X(

 

Yesterday (Thursday Jan 16):

 

1.1, meditate: done

1.2, Lumosity: done

1.3, focus and attention: not really done. I did focus on the license plate of a vehicle that was parked way too close to me in the gym parking lot, though. I only noticed it after I had pulled out, and was like "O shi, what if he bumped my car when he opened his door?" ...black GMC Sierra, and I still remember the license plate XD I checked at home and there was no marks or anything, though, so the driver must have either a) been very thin, or exited through the passenger side door.

 

2.1, slow down: pass

2.2, "win" the staring contest: 2/5

 

3.1, herbs: nothing.

 

Today (Friday, Jan 17) scores so far:

 

1.1, meditate: done

1.2, Lumosity: done

1.3, focus and attention: not done yet (will update tomorrow)

 

2.1, slow down: fail. I did good in most parts of the day, but blew it towards the end. Maybe I'll redeem myself over voice chat tonight? Will also update this tomorrow.

2.2, "win" the staring contest: 0/5. Lost quite a few times...but at least it means I'm making eye contact right? Campus was also quite deserted today considering that there's a faculty strike going on right now, and that it was Friday and no supervisors (faculty) were around.

 

3.1, herbs: nothing yet. Will update tomorrow.

 

I'm posting this now in order to stick it to the procrastination demon. I'm on glass of wine #2 and know from experience that if I don't post NOW, I'll leave it until tomorrow, and then tomorrow I'll be like "Urgh, so many things to recap, I'll do it later..." and then it'll never happen. I also made sure I did my meditating after glass of wine #1 because I know that otherwise it would go undone. As for Lumosity, I made it my home page on Chrome, that way whenever I open Chrome, Lumosity is staring me in the face, and the button to start the games/training is right there.

 

Also, random thought/observation of the week: I started to take notice lately that my face is almost always tense for no reason. WTF? So whenever I catch that I make it a point to slacken my entire face just because. Who knows, I might be a professional poker player in the making!

 

I was going to say something else but I forgot what it was.

[Kan]

I've always wondered what would happen if you stayed stressed out looking and fidgety through one of the professional poker games. Linre the entire game lol. No glasses, constantly flitting your eyes to your cards and everyones faces. But you push the pot so high they better have really good cards. Think they'd fold, or be baited into going all in too?

°~°

[Ahyar Dreamspark]

Weekend: Failsauce everything. I did get 2/5 on the staring contest for one of those days, though. I forget if it was Saturday or Sunday.

 

Yesterday (Jan 20):

 

1.1, meditation: not done (attempted it several times, but people kept talking to me x_x)

1.2, Lumosity: done

1.3, focus and attention: not done

 

2.1, slow down: pass

2.2, "win" the staring contest: 2/5

 

3.1, herbs: nothing, but I want cilantro next.

[Haku]

People kept talking to you..? As in real life, or on Skype or something? Anyway, still good that you attempted it a few times, that counts for something. And what's cilantro? Also, since you've been talking about the staring contest I've been noticing that I look away pretty quickly too, when I make eye contact with people. Maybe it's something I should pay some attention to as well. 

 

And how so that you had a fail weekend? I had a fail weekend too, but I generally had a good time last weekend. I hope you had a good time that makes up for the failsauce.  

[Ahyar Dreamspark]

Woop. I guess I should have been more descriptive. I meant the weekend was failsauce in terms of my challenge goals. Weekends have a habit of doing that to every non-exercise challenge goals, but everything else was fine. I actually worked on that scepter for my cosplay most of the time...and got drunk

 

Errh, crap. I meant to say oregano, not cilantro. Both of these are herbs I wans to get. Oregano is apparently much easier to keep alive, though. I think they sell some pre-potted ones at one of the nearby grocery stores, too.

 

And yeah, people were talking to me in RL while I was trying to meditate. Harder to ignore than the cats lol.

 

For better news: did not have alcohol yesterday, wooo! And I really wanted wine...

[Haku]

Awesome! Do you have WIP pictures of that scepter? I'm very curious. Also great to hear that you haven't had any alcohol yesterday! Congrats on that one! Maybe it's a silly question to ask, but what exactly is it in alcohol that you like so much? For me it's that I just like the drinks, especially dry white wine, but I hate the effect, so I rarely drink any. n_n Or I start drinking loads of water to get rid of the effect as soon as I start to feel a bit.

[Eirlys]

Bit of a while since I managed to post in your thread though I've been following it

 

On a side-note I think there is a common thread in your challenge, or at least it reminds me of a previous quest of mine which was to improve charisma - making eye contact, having good posture, being confident etc all form part of that And you've indicated you might want to improve your speaking and hence communication too, which I think forms part of it!  Anyway, just my views

 

I thought I had a lot more notes from my coaching session than this, apols...

 

Breathing Exercises

Pause before, slight pause after, speed reduces essence

 

Shallow breathing causes adrenaline, also using lots of fillers

 

Exhale, long out breath produces chemicals of calmness

Breathe in shallow, out exhale, push out diaphragm, in for 4, hold for 4, out for 8

 

Close mouth while thinking

 

Breathe during pauses

Breathe out while singing and do it while talking

 

3-4 words at a time, practice reading, practice making something up

Conscious brain can process 3-5 bits of info at any time

Unconscious brain can do 2million at a time

 

Take up space

 

 

Do you feel Luminosity is improving your brain?

[Ahyar Dreamspark]

Awesome! Do you have WIP pictures of that scepter? I'm very curious. Also great to hear that you haven't had any alcohol yesterday! Congrats on that one! Maybe it's a silly question to ask, but what exactly is it in alcohol that you like so much? For me it's that I just like the drinks, especially dry white wine, but I hate the effect, so I rarely drink any. n_n Or I start drinking loads of water to get rid of the effect as soon as I start to feel a bit.

 

I'm not even sure what I like in alcohol. The feeling is all right on weekends, but now I find that I just like the taste. I'm actually having some dry red wine right now (4th glass, but the goblet I'm drinking it from is quite small) and I don't even have a buzz because I've been drinking them over the span of about 5 hours...and I have practice, which probably isn't a good thing :\ During the last challenge I made it a point to not drink on weekdays because it always derailed my challenge goals. I was mostly successful by replacing the alcohol with tea whenever the desire to drink hit me, but I've grown tired of the same old tea flavor I have here lol. I should probably go buy more. Or convince myself in the consciousness mini-challenge that I don't need this alcohol shit during weekdays.

 

It's sort of been bugging me for the last year or so since alcoholism does have a genetic component (to an extent) and it's definitely in my family. On the other hand, I like to drink and I don't want to cut it out completely x_x I never drink to the point of being non-functional or blacking out, but drinking habits are definitely something I need to be aware of.

 

Also, yes to WIP scepter pictures XD I'll make a big post on tumblr explaining how I made it once it's completed, but here's the latest pic:

 

 

 

 

Bit of a while since I managed to post in your thread though I've been following it

 

On a side-note I think there is a common thread in your challenge, or at least it reminds me of a previous quest of mine which was to improve charisma - making eye contact, having good posture, being confident etc all form part of that And you've indicated you might want to improve your speaking and hence communication too, which I think forms part of it!  Anyway, just my views

 

I thought I had a lot more notes from my coaching session than this, apols...

 

(exercises snipped for space-saving)

 

Do you feel Luminosity is improving your brain?

 

Eh, I haven't managed to post in my own thread in the last few days either, so don't feel bad lol.

 

First, thanks a bunch for the info! Just wrote those down X)

 

I'm totally trying to improve CHA on the side! I mentioned a kind of "master list" of things to work on in a previous post in here, and improving posture and speech were in there. I have to work on posture at the gym, and just that makes me more aware of my posture naturally. I don't think I'll ever have to include it in a challenge Speech will probably have to be in there to a certain extent, though. Maybe I'll make daily videos or something, which may be hilariously disastrous. I also had an item on the list about expanding my vocabulary. In both French and English.

 

Lumosity? Well...it's tough to tell. It can be like trying to put muscle on: it will seem like nothing is happening, and then a few months later some of your old clothes will fit a little smaller. When I first signed up with them last summer, I noticed one change within a few weeks while I was fly-fishing. Years prior, I usually had one hell of a time keeping my eyes on the fly because OMG DAYDREAMZ! But a few weeks after Lumosity'ing regularly I eventually realized that I was much better at focusing on the fly at the end of my line. Now, some of this might be due to increased experience, too, but I'm pretty sure the brain games helped to a certain extent. That's the big problem with Lumosity (or any software or game that claims to make your brain run more efficiently): results will be subjective, probably slow, and difficult to quantify unless you've got the resources to run the research yourself. (I don't even know how the Lumosity BPI score is calculated, as it's proprietary.)

 

tl;dr version: I think Lumosity is working, but slowly, and I don't know how much

 

 

Challenge goals for today:

 

1.1, meditate: will do before bed. Hopefully nobody interrupts me like yesterday.

1.2, Lumosity: done

1.3, focus and attention: looking for an object right now...CAT HAIR BRUSH, I CHOOSE YOU!

 

2.1, slow down: fail. I hate to fail myself on this today, because at one point during the day I vomited one hell of a run-on sentence, fast, hillariously, and without screwing up! I generally caught myself speaking fast, well, pretty much all the time throughout the day, though.

2.2, "win" the staring contest: 1/5

 

3.1, herbs: nothing...but apparently my rosemary and thyme pots were getting awfully dry. They were watered. I'm trying to mostly leave them alone because, historically, whenever I've cared about plants, they died lol. Well, I leave them alone unless I feel like eating some of the rosemary plant's leaves, anyway, but that sucker will be like 5 feet wide, so it can afford to lose a few leaves.

[Haku]

Not drinking on weekdays is a good thing and it's great that you got tea instead of alcohol, but if you're getting tired of the same flavour every time, maybe you should try getting a few different kinds of flavours. I know that here in the Netherlands we have over 9000 different kinds of tea. I don't know how it is there in Canada, but I suppose it's worth looking into. And I also have more chance of becoming an alcoholic, because of my father's genetics, but I generally don't drink. Maybe 1 or 2 glasses of wine in 2 months? Usually not much more than that. 

 

As for the WIP, it looks cool already! You nailed the shape and awesome that you have this lightbulb in it. So where do you have the switch for the lightbulb?

[Kan]

I have advice on herbs, and it correlates into tea as well :3 Basil is a really easy, hardy, and delicious herb. It has awesome medical effects too, such as soothing a stomach. Generally minty taste. Goes well with any Italian food. Parsley is another. I went and bought mint and basil plants about a week ago. That tea was amazing. I'd invest in a teapot and teaball if you get an herb collection going. It's very rewarding. Chives are super easy to keep alive, and can generally replace onion in recipes. They're a little more mild than onions.

°~°

[Haku]

Nax! How you doin'? How's the meditating going? And how is the progress on the staff going?

I hope everything's going well there. Are you having some awesome plans for the weekend?

Anyway, please stay alive and awesome. Cheers!

[Ahyar Dreamspark]

Not even bothering with the pretty fonts or punctuation, or anything else

 

tues:
med - yes
lumo - yes
focus - cat brush?
stare - 1/5 or 2/5?

wed:
med - yes
lumo - yes
focus - yes (cat brush, or was that yesterday)
stare - 1/5

thurs:
med - yes
lumo - yes
focus - no
stare - 3/5

fri:
med - no
lumo - yes
focus - no
stare - no

sat, sun, mon (25, 26, 27):
fail everything

tues (28):
med - no
lumo - yes
focus - no
stare - 2/5

wed (29):

fail everything

 

I don't even know. Depression. Burnout. Massive case of the IDGAF's.

 

 

EDIT: It took me 3 days to motivate myself to post this ^ lol. Thesis experimental section due Friday. I just want to crawl into a hole and fucking die because this thesis is ruining my life.

[Haku]

Eep, it's aliiiiiiive! xD Good to hear from you and great that you found the motivation to post this, even though you have failed a few days. You know, you shouldn't let those failures get the best of you. Every day you have a new chance to do it right. And so what if you've messed up a few days in a row? You'll feel even more proud of yourself when you manage to get out of that valley and climb your way back up. 

 

When it comes to a depression or a burnout... I can only say what helped for me, I don't know about your situation of course. For me it helped to just do whatever I wanted, to be lazy and just sit on the couch wasting my times by playing stupid games instead of doing what I was supposed to do. I let all the responsibilities flow away and just did whatever I wanted to do. It really helped me, because at some point I got bored and annoyed with myself, so I started doing things again. Who knows, maybe you should give yourself some time off. Still keep a few daily goals in mind (I'd pick the easy ones if I were you) and just do those... 

 

If you need any help with your thesis, even if it's just help to get motivated, let me know okay? Once it's over you'll be happy you've done it. Give yourself some time off after you've done this thesis. Anyway, like I said, let me know if you need help in any way.