Nax Becomes A Mentalist: The Confidence Edition

[Bekah]

Not even bothering with the pretty fonts or punctuation, or anything else

 

tues:

med - yes

lumo - yes

focus - cat brush?

stare - 1/5 or 2/5?

wed:

med - yes

lumo - yes

focus - yes (cat brush, or was that yesterday)

stare - 1/5

thurs:

med - yes

lumo - yes

focus - no

stare - 3/5

fri:

med - no

lumo - yes

focus - no

stare - no

sat, sun, mon (25, 26, 27):

fail everything

tues (28):

med - no

lumo - yes

focus - no

stare - 2/5

wed (29):

fail everything

 

I don't even know. Depression. Burnout. Massive case of the IDGAF's.

 

 

EDIT: It took me 3 days to motivate myself to post this ^ lol. Thesis experimental section due Friday. I just want to crawl into a hole and fucking die because this thesis is ruining my life.

awww *hugs* I'm sorry things are so difficult for you right now. We are all here for you and feel free to PM me if you want to ok?

[I am Eve]

Not even bothering with the pretty fonts or punctuation, or anything else

 

tues:

med - yes

lumo - yes

focus - cat brush?

stare - 1/5 or 2/5?

wed:

med - yes

lumo - yes

focus - yes (cat brush, or was that yesterday)

stare - 1/5

thurs:

med - yes

lumo - yes

focus - no

stare - 3/5

fri:

med - no

lumo - yes

focus - no

stare - no

sat, sun, mon (25, 26, 27):

fail everything

tues (28):

med - no

lumo - yes

focus - no

stare - 2/5

wed (29):

fail everything

 

I don't even know. Depression. Burnout. Massive case of the IDGAF's.

 

 

EDIT: It took me 3 days to motivate myself to post this ^ lol. Thesis experimental section due Friday. I just want to crawl into a hole and fucking die because this thesis is ruining my life.

 

HANG IN THERE!!

Dig the hole, visit it but don't stay. I am very proud of what you achieved although things were difficult. Life is still here. 

[Kan]

The horrible paper will pass, and life will return to normal again. I feel where you're at. I've actually gone 3 days without sleep due to a similar situation. You can do this. Feel free to vent about it openly, it helps.

°~°

[Ahyar Dreamspark]

I should probably try to succeed at things again today. We'll see what happens.

 

It's just...everything sucks. I no longer care about my degree, which is partly why I'm so unmotivated to work on my thesis right now. It's not that I don't like the topic--I love learning about science, and I generally enjoyed the project I was given, but I do not see myself enjoying working in this field for more than a few years :\ I'm essentially doing it for other people now, and not for myself. I'm so far into it now that I can't quit, right? Besides, my family would shame the hell out of me. I've discovered what I want out of life: a job that I can a) tolerate, and that gives me enough money to live comfortably and do things I like on the side. Things I like, as in cosplaying and collecting degrees on a part-time basis. I just wish it hadn't cost me tens of thousands of dollars to learn this, only to end up right back to square one career-wise.

 

The daily grind...thesis, resume, cover letters, repeat. I just stare blankly at the word documents most of the time, anyway, instead of actually making progress. My head gets filled with thoughts of everything I'd rather be doing instead of this shit. but when I go and actually do something I enjoy, all I can think about is that my thesis and resume and cover letters still need to be done, so I can't even enjoy fun things anymore. Then I realize that life in general will be the same way once I graduate, because I'll have all this wonderful debt to pay off. The thought of working my ass off just to pay off other people fills me with...I don't even know what word to use here. Anger? Despair? Both?

 

And then when I open up about this to my friends or family, I usually get a condescending response like "welcome to adulthood", or "that's life", or "suck it up, you're not the only one" ...Really? REALLY? Is this supposed to make me feel better? So the entire point of life is to work, work, and work just so you can exist? What about actually living? Oh wait. Enjoyable things usually cost money, and that money always has to be spent on bills instead.

 

How do other people deal with this? I have some friends who simply use credit cards to obtain and/or do enjoyable things, but I do not want to go with the credit card route. Ugh. I just need the thesis to disappear from my life. It's like a black cloud over everything.

 

Also, thanks for the support everyone o_o

[I am Eve]

I should probably try to succeed at things again today. We'll see what happens.

 

It's just...everything sucks. I no longer care about my degree, which is partly why I'm so unmotivated to work on my thesis right now. It's not that I don't like the topic--I love learning about science, and I generally enjoyed the project I was given, but I do not see myself enjoying working in this field for more than a few years :\ I'm essentially doing it for other people now, and not for myself. I'm so far into it now that I can't quit, right? Besides, my family would shame the hell out of me. I've discovered what I want out of life: a job that I can a) tolerate, and that gives me enough money to live comfortably and do things I like on the side. Things I like, as in cosplaying and collecting degrees on a part-time basis. I just wish it hadn't cost me tens of thousands of dollars to learn this, only to end up right back to square one career-wise.

 

The daily grind...thesis, resume, cover letters, repeat. I just stare blankly at the word documents most of the time, anyway, instead of actually making progress. My head gets filled with thoughts of everything I'd rather be doing instead of this shit. but when I go and actually do something I enjoy, all I can think about is that my thesis and resume and cover letters still need to be done, so I can't even enjoy fun things anymore. Then I realize that life in general will be the same way once I graduate, because I'll have all this wonderful debt to pay off. The thought of working my ass off just to pay off other people fills me with...I don't even know what word to use here. Anger? Despair? Both?

 

And then when I open up about this to my friends or family, I usually get a condescending response like "welcome to adulthood", or "that's life", or "suck it up, you're not the only one" ...Really? REALLY? Is this supposed to make me feel better? So the entire point of life is to work, work, and work just so you can exist? What about actually living? Oh wait. Enjoyable things usually cost money, and that money always has to be spent on bills instead.

 

How do other people deal with this? I have some friends who simply use credit cards to obtain and/or do enjoyable things, but I do not want to go with the credit card route. Ugh. I just need the thesis to disappear from my life. It's like a black cloud over everything.

 

Also, thanks for the support everyone o_o

 

Hey Nax, we're here! Still.

 

I don't have the answers. Wait, no, I have some.

I don't (DO NOT) agree in "that's adulthood, suck it up". While it is that way sometimes, it most certainly isn't always.

I dropped out of school twice, and eventually made it to university along a long and very crooked path. But I had fun, made friends and experiences I wouldn't have missed for the world even if it included being unemployed, on the dole, etc...

Then I found my calling, what I wanted to do. While realizing that I am very fortunate in this, I think that most people can find a good path that both make them reasonably happy and allow time and space for life outside work.

 

If you still have it in you, finish the thesis, and then take some time out. Rest and think.

 

I am shining my warmest light on you

E

[Haku]

Riiiight. Well I think it would be a wise decision to continue writing your thesis, so you will at least have the paper of the university. It looks good on your resume and in the end you'll be proud of yourself that you did continue. Isn't that what super heroes do? Things get difficult for them, but they don't give up. They work harder, try to find solutions and in the end rock and be amazeballs! I am sure you can do it. In the end it doesn't matter so much what you're going to do, as long as you're having fun in what you're doing, which is just like you already said that you wanted to do.

 

The thing is, if you don't finish this study now, you might regret it in the end... You can always do extra courses in different subjects, smaller courses, later on in your life, but you get to have something to be proud of if you continue on this one. Something that helps for me when I'm studying is by putting an alarm for 1 hour after I start, meaning I will have to work non-stop on my schoolwork for 1 hour. After that I give myself a 30 minute break and go and do things I like, like playing Pokémon or reading something about mythology or simply browsing 9GAG. After those 30 minutes, do an hour of homework again. Just keep repeating until you've done, say, 2 or 3 hours on a day. It works great for me when I have to do stupid and boring homework. I did this when I had to read a philosophy book, which was difficult to read... I had a deadline for an essay I had to write for it, so in the end I used this method to get myself to work on it. It was less bad to do it this way, because I knew I'd only be working for 1 hour every time.

 

Anyway, I wish you all the luck in the world and all the inspiration you can get. Like I said, if you're in need of a conversation or anything, let me know.

[Kan]

Hey I'm in the same slump except a tad different. Unfulfilling job that l pays the bills but not much else. I budget in a very smart way though. I'll save what I can, and do a few little things for enjoyment between the big things. And my philosophy for my credit card I'd this: never spend money if you don't have it on hand. In other words, if I dont have 30 bucks I the bank/wallet then i dont charge 30 on my card. But gawd it feels so nice to be out of school for a little bit. But yeah I second staying in there and getting your degree. It may be a hell now, but later you can always be proud that you did it. And if it's a degree in general science there are tons of different career paths that will open for you. The world isn't all that cut and dry, sometimes things are made to work :3

Definitely separate work and pleasure for the time being. While you're having fun, focus only on the fun. It's tricky but necessary. Just make sure you don't procrastinate your work too long. I had to do an entire course of Microsoft access work in one day once because of... Well it's a long story XD

Everyone knows you've got this in the bag though, just push the last bit out to prove it, and then take yourself a much needed break.

°~°

[Ahyar Dreamspark]

So it's pretty safe to say I've quit. Mostly. I'm still trying to win the staring contest whenever possible, and trying to get back on track with the meditating and Lumosity. I'll probably keep posting those scores on here, but not really counting them. As for everything else, screw it. I'll get more herbs just because, though. Maybe. Okay, probably. I still want my indoor garden ;P I also miss posting here.

 

RL woes aside, I've been trying to figure out why motivation for everything just disappeared. I mean, RL woes have been with me for about 6 months now and I was able to do previous challenges without completely faceplanting, so...what's going on now? Thinking back to a post I made earlier in this thread:

 

 

I have a list in a word doc with a pile of potential challenge items written in it. I'm not sure what the correct order for these items should be, so I just go through said list according to what I feel I need to work on the most at the time. The holidays were horrible, and from what I could gather after some reflection and discussion, my own lack of confidence and lack of calmness was a big part of the problem. I want the entry into 2015 to be the opposite.

 

What if this self-improvement list does have an order? Confidence is definitely a priority item, but...what if something is more important? I've been de-cluttering my personal space lately and, while it's not a challenge goal, it does feel damn good. I've made it a point to throw out/donate one item or article of clothing every day, and if more than one thing goes per day, all the better. Maybe if I manage to make my space my own, I'll be able to focus better. At the very least I won't be hit with a feeling of "Ugh..." every time I walk into my room or office.

 

Maybe confidence is more like a consequence of succeeding at other goals?

 

Also, finishing thesis and graduating. It's become clear by now that I won't be happy until I graduate and find a job I actually enjoy...which won't be in the same field I'm studying (this way I can still study in said field and related ones without being burnt out, yay!)

 

Scores:

 

"Win" the staring contest was 4/5 on one day, and 3/5 on the day after. Tuesday and Wednesday maybe? The faculty strike is over now, and all the students are around again, so it's easier to play the staring contest lol.

 

Will do Lumosity later if I feel like it. For now, I'm off to throw away some crap I'll never use/wear again.

 

Also, thanks for all the answers and positivity.

 

 

 

 

As for the WIP, it looks cool already! You nailed the shape and awesome that you have this lightbulb in it. So where do you have the switch for the lightbulb?

 

I don't have a switch for it, sadly. Someone else did the LED hookups for me (during their work hours), and I didn't want to put in too many demands lol. There's going to be a panel on the bottom of the scepter where the battery will be stored, connected to the wires. It's a 9V. I'll just have to put in/take out the battery to turn the bulb on and off.

 

 

I have advice on herbs, and it correlates into tea as well :3 Basil is a really easy, hardy, and delicious herb. It has awesome medical effects too, such as soothing a stomach. Generally minty taste. Goes well with any Italian food. Parsley is another. I went and bought mint and basil plants about a week ago. That tea was amazing. I'd invest in a teapot and teaball if you get an herb collection going. It's very rewarding. Chives are super easy to keep alive, and can generally replace onion in recipes. They're a little more mild than onions.

°~°

 

I thought about parsley, but mom buys it all the time, so it went to the back of the list Basil is definitely a possibility though! As are chives, if they're that easy to maintain.

 

On a related note, it is unbelievable that none of my cats have shredded my herbs yet. Or knocked the pots over.

[Eirlys]

Hi Nax

 

I'm just catching up... first off, the sceptre thingy looks very exciting and I'm keen to see how it progresses

 

Second, I think it can be hard for creative-intelligent people to limit themselves to doing one thing when there's so many things that are interesting out there to do.  Hope this doesn't fall under the category of 'annoying unsolicited advice' but I'm on a mailing list of Ramit Sethi who has recently trying to flog his "finisher's formula" course.  And one thing he says is that successful people don't rely on motivation (because it's one of those things that ebbs and flows) but instead build systems to support them.  I haven't signed up to any of his courses because that would require parting with real money, but I think he makes an interesting point.

 

It sounds like you're feeling pretty overwhelmed right now (I know that feeling!!) - are you able to schedule something like "sit down for half an hour and write thesis-related words" every day?

 

At least you have an idea about your future career now too... imagine if you'd started off in something and then realised you hated it?

 

On another note - decluttering, yay!  I think it can help with the overwhelm.  I read becomingminimalist.com (and similar) for inspiration.  Owning less things and having less mess definitely makes it easier to get on with life... plus, the things you have are the stuff you like!  I once heard it said that clutter and unfinished tasks are like a 'psychic weight' so well done you for tackling that !

[Ahyar Dreamspark]

Hi Nax

 

I'm just catching up... first off, the sceptre thingy looks very exciting and I'm keen to see how it progresses

 

Second, I think it can be hard for creative-intelligent people to limit themselves to doing one thing when there's so many things that are interesting out there to do.  Hope this doesn't fall under the category of 'annoying unsolicited advice' but I'm on a mailing list of Ramit Sethi who has recently trying to flog his "finisher's formula" course.  And one thing he says is that successful people don't rely on motivation (because it's one of those things that ebbs and flows) but instead build systems to support them.  I haven't signed up to any of his courses because that would require parting with real money, but I think he makes an interesting point.

 

It sounds like you're feeling pretty overwhelmed right now (I know that feeling!!) - are you able to schedule something like "sit down for half an hour and write thesis-related words" every day?

 

At least you have an idea about your future career now too... imagine if you'd started off in something and then realised you hated it?

 

On another note - decluttering, yay!  I think it can help with the overwhelm.  I read becomingminimalist.com (and similar) for inspiration.  Owning less things and having less mess definitely makes it easier to get on with life... plus, the things you have are the stuff you like!  I once heard it said that clutter and unfinished tasks are like a 'psychic weight' so well done you for tackling that !

 

Ugh, I know the feeling, about limiting myself to one thing. I've come to learn very recently that my goal in life is to get a job I can tolerate, and that allows me enough free time and $$$ to pursue all the hobbies I do like, education included. The odds of finding such a job in this area, however, are pretty damned slim. All I want is financial stability, damnit. And if I happen to have to move out West before this happens, I'll have to spend 5+ years spinning my wheels just to pay off loans and make payments for a bunch of other adulthood shit like rent, food, etc. Eh, hopefully I can BS my way into a job I like eh?

 

I looked up Ramit Sethi earlier. I think I've watched some of his videos before actually XD Wasn't able to find the part about motivation, but I'll look again later, once I finish those accursed cover letters (it's been what, 3 weeks? FML, and then my friend tells me "LOL np, it's easy, I did all of mine in 30 mins!" as if it's supposed to cheer me up.)

 

Decluttering is...still going. I gave myself a goal of throwing out one item per day, but it's been more like throwing out several items one day, then doing nothing, and then throwing out 5+ items again 5 days later. Eh, it averages out I guess. And I definitely agree about the "psychic weight" thing x_x Maybe once I have some work space in my room I'll actually be able to...work on my thesis? Liek, omg!

 

No meditation or Lumosity, but also less alcohol than usual. More part-time work on the side, hoorah! Won the staring contest 2 to 3 times per day during the last, well, since the last time I updated.

 

New goal before the next challenge: COMPLETELY DECLUTTER MY ROOM!

 

1: Throw out one item per day (on average)

2: Bring the box of old VHS tapes to someone I know who wants them

3.1: Take pictures of items that may be sellable on eBay

3.2: Write eBay listing

3.3: Sell said items

4. Clean the carpet (and by "clean" I mean remove it entirely)

5. Clear remaining crap from drawers, put clothes in said drawers, instead of on the shelves

6. Put newly empty shelves elsewhere, and my textbooks in them (as opposed to all over the floor)

7. Move the long dresser so that it isn't blocking access to the closet anymore

8. (I'll finish this list later)

[Kan]

Err I wrote a thing about chives but it apparently didn't post. Basically, they're super easy and handy for cooking. You can water them just about as much as you want. They do alright in drier conditions as well though. I have three thriving in my kitchen window. One's in a coke can lol.

Also I'll be joining you in cleaning. By the end of this week, my house must be clean. And the word you were after for your carpet is purge I think XD

ðŸº

[Haku]

Hey. Hey Nax! Hey! Hey!

 

I thought you could use some positivity, so here I am to make your day.

Happy Valentine's day! Thought you might like this picture.

 

Hope you have a great day today and feel a bit happier. n_n

 

[Ahyar Dreamspark]

Haha! Awesome, thanks XD This goes well with the present that the Frost Giants sent overnight: a nasty ice storm. Now campus is closed down until noon because of it, and I'm just sitting here slacking in my pajamas, surfing tumblr and sipping coffee.

 

De-cluttering is actually helping a lot with my happiness and positivity level o_O Or maybe it's only a temporary phase where I'm happy and don't care about anything? Either way, I'm enjoying it while it lasts. Tonight: a box of wine!

 

Maybe I've been happier lately because I've finally told myself that I (probably) WON'T go for a career related to the field in which I've done my degree(s). I say "probably" because, in the highly unlikely event that the right opportunity presents itself, then yeah, sure, why not. But if not? I couldn't care less. There are career paths I can enjoy more than science. I mostly like the theory and learning of science anyway, the work can be repetitive and, well, it's just not for me. Nor is academia. This all ties in to part III of the Consciousness mini-challenge, as in "Do I need to have a career in XYZ if I did my degrees in XYZ?" No, I don't. And then there's the NF article that landed in my e-mail yesterday about how it's okay to not finish things (or continuing with things) that you don't really enjoy.

 

Soooo I'm looking for full-time jobs now. And if I get one, I'll simply tell my supervisor that he can stop paying me and that I will finish my degree on my own time, and pay for tuition out of my own pocket. It'll set me back financially a little, but fuck it. I've been good over the last 7 years and squirreled away a significant chunk of $$$ in a savings account. I didn't want to dip into it because I was saving it for student loan repayment but...screw it. Grad school is killing me and I need a change. Priorities and all. It's about damn time I started putting myself first.

 

Shit. I better apply for one of said full time jobs right now. I think the deadline was today lol.

 

Will BBL. Happy Valentine's Day to you too! And to everyone who reads this!

[Haku]

Oh wut! So when you stop your study you can still continue where you left off at a later time? That's awesome! I believe that when people have a science-y degree they tent to get into problem-solving jobs, not so much in jobs that are connected to their degree. But that's only what I heard from my dad, he works as a manager human resources, so he knows things like that, because he has to deal with them on a daily basis. 

 

So what kinds of jobs are you looking at? I hope you've found some fun ones. And what would be your dream job? The best thing you can think of for yourself?

[Haku]

Friend of mine sent me this picture, I thought you could appreciate it too. xD
https://24.media.tumblr.com/1f6c52f5b3874601633fcdef7abe6b82/tumblr_mhzavczkBn1rwg8yyo4_500.jpg

[Ahyar Dreamspark]

Haha! Nice. I had seen that one before I think X)

 

Oh man, I'm de-cluttering like a boss right now. Piles of old magazines are hitting the garbage bin, old trinkets from my youth are flying into the trash can, and some of the potentially valuable items are going into an eBay pile. It feels GREAT! I've sent loads of things to goodwill already, too.

 

I don't really think I have a dream job right now o_O I'm looking for something sales-related right now, because it's something I've never tried yet and it might be fun, because it doesn't involve sitting for 8 hours a day, and there is variety because every potential customer you run into is different. It might also allow me to put the "how to read people" concepts in the Mentalist book into practice haha!

[Haku]

Wauw! Sounds like you're real busy and still rocking this challenge! It sounds amazing. So do you have a before picture, so you can compare your work to what it was like? I can imagine it feels great, because usually when your living space is neat your head feels much calmer too. At least, it works like that for me. n_n

 

I'm curious what you'll make of things and what kind of job you'll find. I'm cheering for you here and I really hope you'll find something you truly like. Jobs like that are the best.

[Ahyar Dreamspark]

Eh, I totally faceplanted in the second half of this challenge lol. Right now I'm just trying to set the stage for the next challenge so that the same thing won't happen again. I'm already thinking of future challenge goals.

 

First, why did this challenge end up failing? The lack of clear goals probably had something to do with it. The Meditation and Lumosity goals were simple enough: pass/fail. The staring contest goal was also a well-defined one. I'll probably keep those ones for the next challenge, which will essentially be a re-doing of this one...but better! The herbs thing was fun, but not really challenge-like. I'll still get the herbs on my list, though X)

 

Trying to catch myself speaking too fast was next to impossible, because as soon as I made a mental note that I was talking too fast, I screwed up my words even more because I was distracted by the act of keeping count of how many times I had spoken too fast and/or messed up words. The daily focus exercise was...I dunno. Maybe I just sucked at this one lol. If I ever do it again, I'll have to make myself a list of items that I absolutely HAVE to focus on ahead of time. The daily recap was also iffy, since it takes me over an hour to recap the whole thing. Maybe the excessive time commitment is what burned me out of this challenge? There was 15-20 minutes of meditation, then up to an hour of daily recapping, and 15+ minutes of focusing on a random object, ...there's 1.5 hours of my night. 1.5 hours might not seem like much, but I am a multiclasser, and there are usually one or two extra hours of gym time in my days, as well as a full day of agonizing grad school where I, well, do nothing, but feel bad about doing nothing because I can't do anything because I'm all burnt out as fuck. Long story short, I usually get home in the late afternoon completely wiped. This is not conducive to meeting challenge goals :\

 

So for meditation in the future: I WILL DO IT BETWEEN MORNING GYM TIME AND WORK/SCHOOL TIME! Everyone else in the house are usually still sleeping, and this will allow me to meditate with no distractions. Having a clean and clutter-free area to meditate will also help.

 

As for life goals, I need to finish my thesis and graduate. Grad school is making me hate everything about life. I need to get out. I also need a full-time job, and I don't give a shit if I get a job before I graduate. I'm so close to being done. Urgh. Now, how do I set a thesis-related goal that is clear and gradeable... or do I even have to? I've joined a group workshop with the campus's counseling services that deals with goal setting and generally overcoming depression, and de-cluttering and thesis shit are part of my goals there. Do I have too many goals? o_O Maybe I need to take a minimalist approach to the next NF challenge and set less goals because I have other goals elsewhere? Or maybe I can combine goals between here and the workshop?

 

This is a brain dump. Ignore lol.

[Haku]

Haha, I know you faceplanted halfway through the challenge, but hey... That can happen. Don't be too hard on yourself. There'll be a new challenge and this time you'll prepare it well. 

 

If I hear things like these, I think you should also give yourself some goal to achieve within the 6 weeks so you can level up. If you have win/fail things every day, you can start anew every day, but what if you fail 6 days in a row? It won't have any consequences. I think that if you give yourself some way to give that a consequence or that you count how many times you've won or something, you will become much more active with it. Also, find some way that you can recap your day in a short way. It doesn't always have to be half a page of text (like I'm writing now LOL ) but it can just be a few short sentences. 

 

Like you already say, make sure your goals are clear. That is what made me fail my first challenge (plus the fact that there were over 9000 other things around my head) so in this challenge I managed to get it right. Think of a system that allows you to have as much time for yourself as possible, but what will still allow you to write down your progress properly. Think of a system that will have consequences when you fail too much, but which will reward you (lv up and/or some cool item you really wanted) when you win the challenge. It tends to work really well for a lot of people. 

 

And yes, there can be too many goals, but do you really need to achieve ALL of them in one challenge? Can you not give yourself, say, 10 goals to work on and you need to complete at least 7 in a challenge? It may be a challenge, but don't forget to see it as a game, right? You're supposed to have fun with it all too. 

[Ahyar Dreamspark]

The recapping was more of an exercise in paying attention and noticing little details during everyday activities. Maybe I was only supposed to go through the day's events in my head instead of writing them down, who knows lol. The book wasn't very specific.

 

I've thought of setting an overall goal, but...I can't think of anything I can achieve in 6 weeks--the whole "becoming a mentalist" thing will be more like 6 years haha! Maybe I can fast-track if I practice on chatroulette? The goals I'm aiming for are more like habit/lifestyle changes.

 

I do have a goal for the next 6 days, though: completely declutter my room. I've been decluttering for a while now, but it still looks like a dump in there. I essentially have to empty all the drawers, sort everything out, throw out some stuff, and then put things back in the drawers, etc. There are also too many things for the amount of drawers I have, and don't even get me started on books lol. And yes, I did take some pics of the "before" state of chaos.

 

I remember mentioning a goals list...here it is:

 

- Declutter my room
- Declutter my office
- Meditate more, experiment with different types
- No alcohol on weekdays
- Increase vegetable intake
- Decrease peanut butter and trail mix intake
- Stop picking at my face
- Get a job, and money
- FINISH THESIS AND GRADUATE
- Single-digit body fat %
- Self-care
- SLEEP MORE
- Self hypnosis: play around with it
- Be better at basic math
- Be more observant
- Create my mind palace
- Draw pretty pictures
- Become more assertive
- Stop caring what other people think
- DEVELOP CONFIDENCE!
    Be myself, and live my life for me
    Acquire (or make!) clothes I like
        Learn to sew
    Improve speaking ability
        Increase my vocabulary in both French and English (read more)
        Make/record videos (also, set up YouTube channel)
        Do the speaking exercises from the TM manual
        Practice speaking slowly (videos)
        Relax, so that my face is less tense when I talk
 

I won't be doing all of those next challenge, for sure. It's more of an overall list that I keep picking from based on priorities. Sometimes I get priorities wrong, though lol. For the next one I was thinking of:

 

1. Meditation

2. Lumosity

3. ??? ...maybe speaking-related things?

4. "Win" the staring contest (This will be easier now, because campus isn't deserted anymore)

 

Life quest: FINISH THESIS, and FIND A JOB, so I can feel like a useful person again. The thesis one will have to be broken down into many little goals, but oh well. I just know this NEEDS to get done, because every time I've had a breakdown in the last few weeks, it was thesis or grad school-related. Or involved thoughts about employment...or lack thereof. Just having these burdens gone would improve my confidence level, actually.

 

I suspect the thesis part will be easier once my room is cleaned, too, because then I'll actually be able to do work in there, as opposed to entering, taking a look at the mess, and despairing.

[Haku]

Certainly, a clean room symbolises a clean mind. So if you clean and declutter your room I'm sure everything will feel better for you. Have you thought of giving yourself 1 hour each day to work on your thesis? As in, that you put the alarm 1 hour ahead and that you have to work for the full hour, but that you're not allowed to work on it anymore after the alarm's gone off?

[Tkal]

I remember mentioning a goals list...here it is:

 

- Declutter my room

- Declutter my office

- Meditate more, experiment with different types

- No alcohol on weekdays

- Increase vegetable intake

- Decrease peanut butter and trail mix intake

- Stop picking at my face

- Get a job, and money

- FINISH THESIS AND GRADUATE

- Single-digit body fat %

- Self-care

- SLEEP MORE

- Self hypnosis: play around with it

- Be better at basic math

- Be more observant

- Create my mind palace

- Draw pretty pictures

- Become more assertive

- Stop caring what other people think

- DEVELOP CONFIDENCE!

    Be myself, and live my life for me

    Acquire (or make!) clothes I like

        Learn to sew

    Improve speaking ability

        Increase my vocabulary in both French and English (read more)

        Make/record videos (also, set up YouTube channel)

        Do the speaking exercises from the TM manual

        Practice speaking slowly (videos)

        Relax, so that my face is less tense when I talk

30 goals!!!! no wonder you got lost a bit along the way

suggestion for next time: try to figure out what is your main goal (non necessarily to be reached in one single challenge). Then break it down and pick 3-4 mini-quests that you can complete in 6 weeks and that make you closer to your main goal 

By the way, this system is great also for your thesis

 

Certainly, a clean room symbolises a clean mind.

Or not. There are people who have a really messy room/desk, but whom thinking is crystal clear. And people with a really tidy desk, as empty as their mind. Nevertheless I cannot deny the cathartic power of cleaning. Whatever works best for you