the 13th letter escapes from the asylum

[the 13th letter]

In continuation of the last challenge thread. See also how it began. TL;DR version at the bottom.

Book 4 – Prologue

"Enjoy your stay.", the jailer said as he locked the door behind me. And, as he walked away, he added "Hehe… this never gets old."

I looked around. Everything in here just screamed "prison cell". Grey walls, a bunk, a basin and a toilet, all of which looked like they hadn't been cleaned in years. Yep, this definitely was a prison cell if anything. Which really was quite fine…

…except that I wasn't supposed to be in prison, I was supposed to be in an asylum! And heck, I wasn't even really supposed to be there either! Why the hell was I here?! What had I done wrong?!

"Hmmmmm…", I heard a voice grumble.

Feeling quite uneasy about what I just heard, I turned to the cell to my left, where I had heard the voice from. A gruff-looking guy with scars along his face and pretty dirty teeth was smiling at me. But not in the good way.

"

"

Oh crap. I backed off from the wall as far as I could.

"Here, boy! Here, boy!"

Suddenly…

"Aaagh!", the guy screamed, clutching his neck. "What the— ugh." And then he collapsed.

"Just in time, eh?", a voice from behind me said. I turned to the back wall and saw Emma smiling at me through the cell window bars.

"Emma! What are you doing here?"

"Tracking you down, sweetcheeks. And I should be the one asking. How did you end up in the Rangus Asylum?"

"Beats me. They just said something about me not having my sanity, then they dumped me here without telling me what they meant or letting me say anything to my defense."

"Oh. Yeah, the Rangus Asylum is known to do that."

"Really?"

"They check others for signs of lunacy, and if they find any, then they lock you up. Simple. Thing is, the 'signs' they use aren't really signs of lunacy at all… If anything, they are the lunatics here. But since they have weapons, and they look like legitimate guards, they use their power to lock up whomever they can get a hold of… before the others know who they're dealing with."

"Ugh, great. So you're saying they're a bunch of criminals appearing to be law enforcement?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

"So I didn't do anything wrong?"

"Nope."

"Then I gotta get out of here."

"No kidding. Not at least because of the neighbors you have here."

"Say, what did you do to him anyway? Is he dead?"

"Oh, no, just unconscious. A fast-acting toxin, but ultimately non-lethal. …well, I can't guarantee it in an environment full of dangerous people like this one, but normally it just knocks you out for about a day or two."

"But how did you administer the toxin? I didn't see anything."

"A very thin needle, and my trusty blowpipe."

"A blowpipe?"

"I never leave home without it. You don't have one, sweetcheeks?"

"Of course not. I'm not a ninja."

"You mean: not yet."

"Yeah, well, if I ever want to live long enough to even start my ninja training, I first gotta get out of here."

"Oh sweetcheeks…", Emma grinned at me. "Ever so young and naïve…"

"What's that supposed to mean?", I asked.

"Your ninja training began the instant you entered this cell."

"Wait, what?!"

"Listen up, student! Your next task as a ninja trainee… is to escape from the Rangus Asylum. You have six weeks."

"Whaaaaaaaaat?! Emma, this is serious! Now's not the time to make a game out of this."

"Au contraire, monsieur. This is precisely the time to make a game out of it. Because the last thing we need is you freezing up in fear of not managing to escape, and ultimately failing to escape because of that fear. Or worse, get yourself killed that way."

"But I—"

"No buts."

"But how—"

"You'll have to figure that out by yourself."

"Wait, does that mean you're not helping me?"

"Yes and no. Yes, I'm helping you escape, but no, I'm not going to actively step in until you screw up big time. I'll be playing your safety net, so to speak. But you'll have to do all the work yourself."

"Why…?"

"Because I'm sure you got into this mess by yourself. Knowing you, you didn't even try to disarm the guards when they started being rough with you. You gotta stop thinking that ultimately nobody wants to hurt you, because there are a bunch of people out there who actually do."

"…"

"You know, you should be happy. This is real hands-on ninja training. I've been locked up many times now, and I've had to escape by myself each time too. This is the real-deal. It doesn't get any more applied than this."

"Emma, you're gonna get me killed!"

"I told you, sweetcheeks, I'll step in before anyone gets a chance to do that."

"Ugh. You can't be serious."

"I am."

"*sigh* I realize. But I'm still hoping this all turns out to be a bad dream."

"Well, I hope you come to terms with reality soon, sweetcheeks. It's coming close to lights out time. And in an asylum, lights out means lights out. No ifs, whens or buts. At least you'll be getting some decent sleep… once you're good enough at shutting out the screams."

"D:"

"Same thing for waking up. Lights on is lights on. There's no 'please just five more minutes' thing."

"D:"

"Oh, and since you have lots of free time, and quite a bit of space, I expect you to continue your strength training. You'll probably need it to survive here."

"D:"

"Well then, that's all the guidance I can give you for now. Except maybe one more tip: the guards have no freaking clue who's locked up where. If you need to go undetected for a while, just enter the nearest empty cell. Or even a shared cell, if you're sure your cellmates won't tell on you."

"Emma, this isn't 'Assassin's Creed'."

"No, but it's close enough to it. You'll be missing out on Eagle Vision, but that's just about it."

"…"

"Right. The patrol is coming around in a few minutes, so I'm off. And don't worry too much, sweetcheeks. I'm not bailing you out of here precisely because you gotta learn to swim by yourself. And because I know that you don't really need me to help you here."

"Oh. Uh, thanks."

"Anytime, sweetcheeks. Now, go show them what it means to be a Monk of the Rebellion! And my student!"

"Yes, ma'am!"

Emma got up and stepped away, but turned back one more time.

"Oh, and when you're out, I expect you to do 30 push-ups for not calling me 'coach' three times. Got it?"

Oh, what the— ugh.

"Aye-aye, Coach!"

End of prologue

Author's comments: The usual "yada yada yada" about creative freedom and such. And I've never been to an asylum or a prison before… at least not outside of video games and TV shows.

---

TL;DR: challenge goals

Baseline goals

• Go to bed by 12am midnight. No ifs, whens or buts. Lights out means lights out.
• Wake up by 9am and get ready straight away. That means brushing teeth, taking shower, shaving and having breakfast. If I genuinely oversleep despite going to bed by 12am, no matter… provided I still get ready straight away.
• Do bodyweight strength training (the Convict Conditioning workout programs) 3 times a week. Usually on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday.

Additional optional challenges

• Low- or medium-intensity workout on rest days. Stretching, martial arts form practice, Tai Chi… whatever I can think of. The point is to get into the habit of doing exercise every day, not necessarily to progress in those exercises.
• Write one blawg post per week. What kind of blawg only has one post? A dead blawg. Who wants to own a dead blawg? No one.
• Keep my backlog below five days. Post progress updates here more regularly, instead of two weeks worth of updates in a single post. Hopefully this will free up time to read (and comment on) other people's threads too.
• Post an act of book 4 at least once every two weeks. Need to keep the story going. But my blawg needs more of my attention, so I'm not committing to anything more than this.

Motivation

I'm tired of running (what should be) the minutiae of my life on auto-pilot before having taught my auto-pilot how to fly.

Why the "escapes from the asylum" theme?

My last challenge (“Multiplexingâ€) failed, and I lost my timetable during that challenge. By losing my timetable, I lost my sanity. In my last mini-challenge (“redeeming my sanityâ€), I didn't regain my sanity. So I don't have my sanity anymore. I thus conclude that I am by definition insane. And that's how I ended up in the asylum.

Also, I'm breaking out because I don't like it here. It's the color, ya know?

[AshPS]

Sub'd  M! 

 

And I shall be back to read and comment.

 

I am sooooooooooo behind today. le sigh 

[Cheechoe]

Awwwww....I always love your dialogues. I was so pleased to see that when I clicked on your thread.

 

I like it.

 

Straight Forward.

 

Simple.

 

Get Auto-Piloted.

 

GO!

[Swampling]

Sub'd!

[Kishi]

I really had an easy time seeing the scene on this one. I wonder what that says about me. ;

 

Anyway! Glad to see you back again! Love that scheduling goal. Schedules make a man strong.

[bluekiwi1]

I have sleep as one of my goals, too!  Good Luck, M!  Rawr!

[caponerd48]

That is an awesome intro! Good luck on the challenge!

[forkboy]

Love it. Want more of it.

[- Will -]

That into was AWESOME! And your goals look great. This challenge will be epic! You can do it M!

Just make sure to remember WHO THE HELL YOU ARE! YOU ARE M, BADASS NINJA TRAINEE! Now go forth, and stab ALL the guards in the face!

Stab-y, stab, stab!

[The Shogun]

Awesome intro and challenge! Good luck! 

[drunkensnake]

But why can't it be Assassin's Creed!! I was a badass blade in the crowd....than an awesome avenger and reinvigorator of the order! THEN and AWESOME revolutionary Guerilla.. AND NOW A PIRATE!! oh and for a couple of games a bad ass world-saver in the modern times...well part of one game anyway

Well Good luck with your challenge!!

And get your sanity back! (although...to be fair:

[the 13th letter]

Day 1 (Monday, 2014-01-06)

Fuzzy memory. I remember oversleeping in the morning and writing two story segments and a challenge description in the afternoon and the evening.

Oh, and being thrown into jail. I mean the asylum.

Baseline goals

1. Go to bed at 12am: NO. Not that we were really counting, but since this goal is identical to my mini-challenge goal, I should have done it. But I didn't. Eh.
   
2. Get ready soon: NO. Same.
   
3. Do bodyweight strength training: SKIPPED. Nothing scheduled for today. Though it probably would have been a good idea.
   

Additional goals

(none)

Day 2 (Tuesday, 2014-01-07)

Even fuzzier memory. I really don't remember what I did. Goes to show how important the things I did do really were.

Baseline goals

1. Go to bed at 12am: NOT QUITE. The challenge thread took a bit longer to write than what would have been allowable by that very same challenge thread. (Oh, the irony…)
   
2. Get ready soon: NO. Aaaaaaaaaand of course I overslept. And figured "eh, might as well take my time". That's a really hard habit to break.
   
3. Do bodyweight strength training: NO. Didn't explicitly schedule it for today. Probably should have. Ended up lazing around.
   

Additional goals

(none)

Day 3 (Wednesday, 2014-01-08)

Parents were out on a business trip, so I had the house for myself. Gosh, I really miss the peace and quiet of living alone.^[1] This meant that my morning timetable went to hell, sadly… but on the plus side, my evening timetable was sane, since I was tasked to prepare dinner for when my parents returned, and to pick up lil bro from the train station when he returned from university. It would have been a "good day" had I not had such a long string of mornings precisely in the same manner as today.

Baseline goals

1. Go to bed at 12am: NOT A CHANCE. I stayed up rather late to snag a view of the current episode of NCIS (“Kill Chainâ€), for which I had to wait until it aired in the U.S. And holy flippin' monkeys the episode was great! I regret nothing!
   
2. Get ready soon: NO. Yeah, well, no.
   
3. Do bodyweight strength training: NO. By the time I realized I still had to do this I was already in the middle of preparing dinner and pickup service.
   

Additional goals

(none)

Day 4 (Thursday, 2014-01-09)

Had lunch with my mom, and got into a long talk about… well… family matters, and upbringing, and “Son, you really need to do XYZ†types of things, and… eh. After that I gave maths tuition, then I went to martial arts class. There was just no more “day†left to do anything else.

Baseline goals

1. Go to bed at 12am: NO. I don't even remember why not.
   
2. Get ready soon: YES. I started late, but I got ready consistently the first thing when I was awake.
   
3. Do bodyweight strength training: NO, BUT SKIPPED. Realistically, I can't think of a good time when I should have been strength training instead of doing whatever else I was doing. In other words, this is an aftermath from messing up the strength training timetable the day before, not a seperate messup.
   

Additional goals

(none)

Day 5 (Friday, 2014-01-10)

Woke up early! Not quite 9am, but close enough! Woot! First time since beginning of the challenge.

Spent my day on computer sciencey stuff, 'cause heck, why not? Well, I'll tell you why not: there be a strength training you still gotta do. Eh. So this strength training session was pushed all the way to the evening, after guitar lessons, martial arts classes, and my run-by-and-sub-and-read-everyone's-challenge-threads-if-possible spree. So yes, it happened, but at a very unfortunate time.

Two comments about the strength training session:

1. I returned to a full 3 minutes of rest time between sets and between exercises. Previously I had lowered my inter-set rest time to 2 minutes, because Kishi thinks it's fun torturing us. Well, since I suspect that this was in the way of my progress, I'm ditching it and seeing if it makes a difference.
   
2. I had a plan for a slightly different workout timetable, having an arms day, then a legs and core day, then a bridge day, and finally a rest day. But as I tried to explain how this new timetable was better suited to my progress than my previous timetable, I re-checked Convict Conditioning and realized that its “Veterano†program^[3] exactly covers my use case. So I decided to stick to “Veteranoâ€, except that I will be taking another off day on day #3 instead of doing handstand push-ups, because I am not that far yet, and because I have something else in mind for my “rest days†anyway.^[4] If Veterano turns out to be too slow, I will switch to the original plan that I just abandoned in favor of Veterano.
   

Baseline goals

1. Go to bed at 12am: MAYBE? I'm not sure anymore. I think yes, but then again… eh.
   
2. Get ready soon: YES. Like a boss!
   
3. Do bodyweight strength training: YES. Though this was a reduced session, and I did it in the late evening.
   

Specifically (see legend below; it's the same as during my last challenge):

• Level 2 horizontal pulls: 11/9/NA (+1/+1/NA, beginner+) (last session: 6 days ago)
  Actually 11− and 9, i.e. the last repetition in set #1 was pretty pathetic-looking. But I guess it counts.
  
• Level 3 knee push-ups: 16/10/NA (+1/−2/NA, beginner+) (last session: 6 days ago)
  I actually felt quite good after the first set, and I believed I would accomplish the full 15 repetitions for set #2, meeting the intermediate standard. But sadly, no.
  (For the sake of Veterano, I'm going to ignore that I did these sets. So tomorrow's workout will consist of bridges.)
  

Additional goals

1. Keep my backlog below five days. I barely managed this, but yeah.
   

Final comments

My thanks to everyone's comments so far. I'm amazed at how much traction I got just from the intro alone. I'll do your comments justice and give a full reply… tomorrow. It's pretty damn late.

Also, if by Monday I fail to post my next blawg post, please do bug me. I have the topic, I have the time… I just gotta write that thing.

---

Legend:

• x/y/z (a/b/c, std): I managed x/y/z of this exercise during this session, the difference to last session being a/b/c. As of this session, I'm at std standard.
  
• NA: not applicable; I didn't do this set
  
• beginner, intermediate and progression: beginner, intermediate and progression standard, according to “Convict Conditioningâ€
  
• beginner?: I am maybe at beginner standard; I can't tell for sure because I can't accurately reproduce the training scenario
  
• intermediate+: I have exceeded intermediate standard, but not yet reached progression standard.
  

---

Footnotes:

¹I'm not anti-social per se, or opposed to living with my family, or anything of that kind. (At least, I don't believe I am.) But I thoroughly enjoy the cycle of living alone and then living among others. In fact, I don't enjoy living completely alone either, without any neighbors to talk to. It's gotta be a cycle.

²I'm referring to my overall timetable too, not just the training one.

³For those without a copy of Convict Conditioning at hand, the program is: pull-ups on Monday, bridges on Tuesday, handstand push-ups on Wednesday (for me: rest day), leg raises on Thursday, (bodyweight) squats on Friday, push-ups on Saturday, and rest day on Sunday. The goal of the program is to avoid exercising the same larger muscle group on two consecutive days; the actual days are arbitrary.

⁴As you hopefully remember from my challenge intro, I'm trying to incorporate low- or medium-intensity exercise on rest days.

[Kishi]

Honestly, you asylum guards are a lot more lax about your sleeping schedule than I thought they'd be.

[AshPS]

Love NCIS! Worth staying up for.

 

Glad to see you FINALLY got the strength training in. huff....sigh.....   lol

 

Now, just keep the momentum of 2 & 3 going and get number 1 in! You can do it M, I know you can!

 

Have an awesome weekend!

[Courier6]

Oh, we may bug you? Are you reaaally sure that that is a good, sane idea? *putting on my evil-scientist-attire and giving my best evil-scientist-laughter*

And I think somehow Kishi is right. Emma really should find some more resolute (or insert a better translation for "strenger") guards for you who cut power at 12am.

 

Says the same person who overslept by 1,5 hours today ... *shifty look*

[Swampling]

Are you reaaally sure that that is a good, sane idea?

 

Sane idea? A current inmate of an asylum? Seriously?!

[Courier6]

Swampling .... you kinda have a point. Pwned again.

[the 13th letter]

(I can actually fill up a whole post with only this!)

Sub'd M!

Sub'd!

Awwwww....I always love your dialogues. I was so pleased to see that when I clicked on your thread.I like it.

That is an awesome intro! Good luck on the challenge!

Love it. Want more of it.

That into was AWESOME! And your goals look great. This challenge will be epic! You can do it M!

Awesome intro and challenge! Good luck!

Yay, readers! There are actually people reading my shit. Woohoo!

[the 13th letter]

And I shall be back to read and comment.I am sooooooooooo behind today. le sigh

No worries, ma'am. I'm not really on top of everything either.

I like it.Straight Forward.Simple.Get Auto-Piloted.GO!

Go?

I really had an easy time seeing the scene on this one. I wonder what that says about me. ;Anyway! Glad to see you back again! Love that scheduling goal. Schedules make a man strong.

Well, I for one caught myself watching the first few minutes of an NCIS episode and asking myself within 10 seconds "gosh, how long until the corpse shows up?". So… I think we're even.And also, here I always thought the strength comes from wearing the superhero costume. So you're saying it comes from the schedule? Wow… I never would have guessed!

I have sleep as one of my goals, too! Good Luck, M! Rawr!

Bad sleeping routine seems to be a common ailment in the western world. So yeah, I'm with you. Thanks for cheering me on!

And your goals look great. This challenge will be epic! You can do it M! :DJust make sure to remember WHO THE HELL YOU ARE! YOU ARE M, BADASS NINJA TRAINEE! Now go forth, and stab ALL the guards in the face!Stab-y, stab, stab!

Thanks, and, uh, right, I'll just go do that.

But why can't it be Assassin's Creed!! I was a badass blade in the crowd....than an awesome avenger and reinvigorator of the order! THEN and AWESOME revolutionary Guerilla.. AND NOW A PIRATE!! oh and for a couple of games a bad ass world-saver in the modern times...well part of one game anywayWell Good luck with your challenge!!And get your sanity back! (although...to be fair:

I hear you on the sanity part, but there's a good kind of mad and a bad kind of mad, and I think I've been given too high a dosis of the latter. As for why real life isn't Assassin's Creed… well… I'm afraid that you'll have to call up the Hotline for Life™ and ask them. That's part of their department.

Honestly, you asylum guards are a lot more lax about your sleeping schedule than I thought they'd be.

And I think somehow Kishi is right. Emma really should find some more resolute (or insert a better translation for "strenger") guards for you who cut power at 12am.Says the same person who overslept by 1,5 hours today ... *shifty look*

Nah, you two have got it all wrong. It totally means that Thirteen is a master of sneaking, and that he is cleverly outmaneuvering the guards checking on him. Hehe… hehe… heh… *sigh*But, uh, anyway. That's my version and I'm sticking to it.

Love NCIS! Worth staying up for. ;)Glad to see you FINALLY got the strength training in. huff....sigh..... lolNow, just keep the momentum of 2 & 3 going and get number 1 in! You can do it M, I know you can! :DHave an awesome weekend!

In order: "yay! inorite?", "as am I", "this is so gonna happen", and "thanks!"

[the 13th letter]

Oh, we may bug you? Are you reaaally sure that that is a good, sane idea? *putting on my evil-scientist-attire and giving my best evil-scientist-laughter*

Sane idea? A current inmate of an asylum? Seriously?!

Swampling .... you kinda have a point. Pwned again.

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight… <.<So, uh, no, really, I'm not sure. In fact, I'm actually sure it's not a sane idea. Will that stop me from suggesting it anyway? Nope.

[the 13th letter]

Day 6 (Saturday, 2014-01-11)

Woke up early again! I only punched my alarm clock twice, instead of dissolving it in an acid bath as usual.

I woke up early to engage in the most honorable of all activities: saving Hyrule, in The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword! 'Cause I was only 3½ hours away from defeating the demon king and saving the world. So yeah, Hyrule needed me. The fact that lil bro was going off again for three weeks and taking the console with him? That had absolutely no part whatsoever in my motivations. I solely did everything for the sake of the land of Hyrule.^[1]

Aside from that, I also fixed a long-standing feature request in my blog mirroring tool: For those blogs whose posts are not automatically linked to previous and next entries (such as NF), my tool now queries the list of known blog posts for the immediately preceding and the immediately succeeding posts and adds the necessary links to my offline mirror. Took a while to get straight, because my mirroring tool isn't exactly high quality software.

And that's about it for today.

Baseline goals

1. Go to bed at 12am: NOT REALLY. I repeatedly underestimate how long it takes me to write progress updates.
   
2. Get ready soon: YES. It was quite hard resisting the urge to start the console straight away. But I prevailed!
   
3. Do bodyweight strength training: YES. Daily mini-session ahoy!
   

Specifically (see legend):

• Level 3 angled bridges: 15/12/NA (+3/+2/NA, beginner+) (last session: 7 days ago)
  Getting better. I tried going back to 15/15/NA, but the uneasiness of being upside-down plus my arm (non-)strength guaranteed an "oh no you don't" run.
  

Additional goals

(none)

---

¹Oh, who am I kidding? [melodramatic]Why does lil bro have to take away the console?[/melodramatic] Le sad face.

[Kishi]

Hah. He might get to take the console, but that doesn't change the fact that you saved the land! Good stuff.

[the 13th letter]

Day 7 (Sunday, 2014-01-12)

Woke up late. Like, super late. I probably overdid it yesterday, what with sleeping little and then saving Hyrule for 3½ hours. Yeah…

And then, after waking up really late, the first thing my mom does is grab me for a looooooooooong talk about this and that and everything in between, as a continuation of where we left off on Thursday—and I didn't even realize we'd be returning to this. Not that I'm of much use if you try to start a deep discussion with me literally 2 minutes after I wake up.

Anyway, after getting off the hook, with two heavily gnawed-on ears, I went on to do the rest of my getting ready for the day (I hadn't forgotten) and then sat down to write blawg post #2. You know, the one I promised you you may bug me about if I don't deliver. There were some interruptions from my mom again, this time related to her work (for which I am sysadmin-ing), but otherwise I was dutifully and miserably writing my next blawg post. And no, it's not finished yet… it seems to have exploded in scope. It's already pretty damn long.^[1] And after spending about 5–6 hours on it,^[2] I'm still only at the ⅔ mark. Maybe. Explaining maths and comp sci stuff is hard, kids! Don't do this without parental supervision!

Eh, I'm rambling. The important part is I'm working on the blawg post, and I'm not done yet, and it's going to be a monster read when I actually publish it. The good type too, I hope. But right now, I'm cutting my (health) losses and going to bed, to continue the writing tomorrow. It's 1.20am, so I think it's time.

On a side note: As today was a rest day, I wanted to get my mom to give me a Tai Chi lesson. That kinda didn't work between her asking me for sysadmin help and me writing my post.

Baseline goals

1. Go to bed at 12am: YES. Give or take a few minutes.
   
2. Get ready soon: YES. Even though I woke up at a completely inappropriate time, I got ready ASAP.
   
3. Do bodyweight strength training: SKIPPITY SKIP SKIP. Rest day. No Tai Chi, sadly.
   

Additional goals

I really wished I could have said "did Tai Chi" here. Next time, maybe.

---

¹I'm at 811 words so far, which I don't think is really that long for a blawg post, but long enough that some people wouldn't want to read it to the end. And even then, I'm using some mathematician and programmer's shorthand writing/speech… It's surely more tiring to read than normal prose because you have to pay much closer attention to details. Though I hope I'm not that extreme, anyone who has read a science article or thesis knows what I mean by "closer attention".

²Now that I'm in the middle of it I find it ironic that I didn't see this coming. I take similarly long to write my story segments, depending on length. And post #1 also took rather long.

[AshPS]

Good luck on getting the blawg post finished and good job on getting to bed (give or take a few minutes, lol) and getting ready!

 

Hope you get your Tai chi lesson soon!

 

Have an awesome Monday M!

[Kishi]

Take your time and do it to your satisfaction. The best writing works that way.