Losing weight is depressing...

[Annelise]

Yeah, that's it. That's pretty much the thing I've learned until now. Here's my story:

 

I'm a 22 year-old girl. A nerdy girl, yeah. Not really skinny. I have a particular body, actually. Curvy and assets so perfect that don't seem natural (I'm always getting asked "Is that all yours?". And yeah, I'm offended with that because they are mine! I never had plastic surgery). I never had much self-esteem because I was bullied for years in middle school and much thanks to my "beautiful" assets. I don't like having too much attention on me because of that... The bullying changed when I realized that psychologists weren't going to help me. I got tired of repeating the same story, all over again. So I had to do something on my own. I changed classes and it was the best decision I made.

In high school, I went to a sports course along with it. We had sport classes more than 3 times a week and I didn't mind it at all, even though I'm not that good in sports. When I was in my last year in high school, I went to a beach with my classmates. I never got the courage to go back there again. Never. I was 18 back then and I'm 22 now. Not even in my best days, when I had sports almost every day, I could look like the girl I wanted to be. Tv and society want to make us look like a model, with a flat belly. And that's who I wanted to be. I couldn't be proud of my assets with a bit of belly. And so I got depressed.

I went to a nutritionist before and he was really mean to me because I gained weight in one of the weeks. He said I must be doing something wrong and I wasn't. I'm now in another nutritionist because my mom got tired of seeing me depressed and not caring about me and my weight (I'm following a diet called EasySlim. The nutritionist was really shocked that I never went to the beach again and it seems she really wants to help me). I know it's pointless, but I still go because of her, because she's spending money on me so I feel good about myself. That's pretty much all I wanted... I wanted to look in the mirror and like myself. But I just hate what I see. I can never have a flat belly...

Ever since high school, I've been gaining a lot of weight. I stopped caring because it was pointless. If not even in my best days I looked like what I wanted to be, why caring? I'm just doing this for my mom now. I don't want to disappoint her... But I feel like I should want this more. What should I do? There's something missing here... I'm so lost...

[Basement Cat]

Welcome to the rebellion, Annelise.

 

Depression sucks, that's for sure. I just checked the Easy Slim plan, and just seing them advertise a carb free diet makes me worried. A diet that is completely carb free would contain no fruit, vegetables, legumes, grains or any plant matter whatsoever. That is just not sustainable unless you won the allergy lottery.

 

Balancing your diet is not that hard. A fair few people here follow the paleo model, but that is just one option. I would recommend that you focus on fresh, natural foods. It makes it easier to track your caloric intake. I know, calorie counting is a chore, but once you get the ball rolling it's not so bad.

 

You told your nutritionnist that you were not doing anything wrong, but if you were gaining weight, there was definitely something causing it. Did you see a doctor to check other factors, such as thryroid imbalance, polycistic ovarian syndrome or such other conditions? They can lead to unexplained weight gain. They can also affect your mood.

 

So, keep your chin up, have some tests performed to make sure there are no other factors playing in the weight gain. In the meantime, I suggest you focus on eating lots of fresh veggies, some fruit, a little meat and anything else that does not prepackaged with a ton of salt and\or sugar.

 

This is not impossible! Take heart! You will make it through this! Try some exercise to make you feel better. There are lots of resources on the NF site. Find something you enjoy, do it to boost your mood and stop worrying about what others think. If you want to talk more, PM me and I'll be there to listen.

 

Also, if you gained weight during ONE week, your nutritionist was a moron. The scale is not the end all be all of weight measurement.

 

Hang in there! 

[fleaball]

Welcome! I want to second everything Silver said, especially checking with a doctor to see if there's anything else going on. 

 

Can you reframe the way you're thinking? "I need to lose X pounds" isn't super motivational. "I'm going to get in shape and eat better so that I can finally _______!" might give you a positive focus. For example, I'd love to do a Tough Mudder/Spartan Race/crazy obstacle course of some kind. But I have like zero upper body strength right now, so I know I need to start working out if I want to be able to drag myself up a wall without my arms turning into spaghetti. There are posts all over the place about people changing the way they eat, starting some workouts, and they're not only losing weight as a result but looking better! 

 

(If you haven't seen Staci's story yet, check it out.) 

 

Eating fresh foods instead of processed makes you feel so much better too, and in time you may not even want processed/unhealthy stuff anymore. Eating healthier can also help you lose weight without necessarily trying too hard. (Can you not lose weight? Sure. But it's a lot harder to eat way too much broccoli than it is too many cookies. )

 

This whole thing is a process. It takes time, but it's so worth it in the end. Let us know if we can help you along the way!

 

ETA: Here's a cool blog post from a model who doesn't have a flat belly all day every day  

[Annelise]

Welcome to the rebellion, Annelise.

 

Depression sucks, that's for sure. I just checked the Easy Slim plan, and just seing them advertise a carb free diet makes me worried. A diet that is completely carb free would contain no fruit, vegetables, legumes, grains or any plant matter whatsoever. That is just not sustainable unless you won the allergy lottery.

 

Balancing your diet is not that hard. A fair few people here follow the paleo model, but that is just one option. I would recommend that you focus on fresh, natural foods. It makes it easier to track your caloric intake. I know, calorie counting is a chore, but once you get the ball rolling it's not so bad.

 

You told your nutritionnist that you were not doing anything wrong, but if you were gaining weight, there was definitely something causing it. Did you see a doctor to check other factors, such as thryroid imbalance, polycistic ovarian syndrome or such other conditions? They can lead to unexplained weight gain. They can also affect your mood.

 

So, keep your chin up, have some tests performed to make sure there are no other factors playing in the weight gain. In the meantime, I suggest you focus on eating lots of fresh veggies, some fruit, a little meat and anything else that does not prepackaged with a ton of salt and\or sugar.

 

This is not impossible! Take heart! You will make it through this! Try some exercise to make you feel better. There are lots of resources on the NF site. Find something you enjoy, do it to boost your mood and stop worrying about what others think. If you want to talk more, PM me and I'll be there to listen.

 

Also, if you gained weight during ONE week, your nutritionist was a moron. The scale is not the end all be all of weight measurement.

 

Hang in there! 

Thank you

I'm not exactly a newbie in terms of nutrition and sport, that's why I accepted this plan. I'm in the first phase: catabolism induction. I have to visit the nutritionist every week and she adds always something new to my diet. Right now, I can eat: all the meat (except pork) I want, all the fish/seafood, nothing with oil (only olive oil is accepted), two slices of bread per day (only cereal bread and not the white one. I can eat it with low fat butter and only chicken or turkey sausages/ham), fat-free yogurt (one day I can eat one, the other day I can't. I should substitute with milk. I can pick any yogurt I want as long as the carbs are under 5g), one fresh cheese (those little triangles), up to 3 eggs per week, and tons of veggies. Too bad I don't like veggies that much, so the only ones I actually eat from those that she lets me eat is lettuce, radish, bellpepper and garlic. I'm going to start with leeks this week (finally! I was missing something that tasted like onions xD), turnip and zucchini. I don't have to count calories with this diet, since I can eat all I want as long as she allows it. Fruit is not allowed so far (and I actually love them, but I can't eat them xD).

My family's problem is the metabolism. It's waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too slow. I felt like I would gain weight from drinking a glass of water (not kidding). So I lived my whole life with my mom saying "we have to live everyday in diet" or "every once in a while, we need to make a diet or we will be obese". I just wanted to be normal... It's not that I eat trash. I'm portuguese, so we have a mediterranean-kind of food everyday. I always tried not to eat too much junk and I still got fat... That's why it's depressing. No matter how much I tried to take care, it wouldn't work. And my self-esteem doesn't seem to exist at all, so it's even worse for me. I'm too self-critic and I can't feel good about myself...

 

Oh, and yeah, I checked with the doctor. I have nothing wrong with me. That week, I probably gained weight from exercising, since I went out for some soccer a couple of times. I lost body fat, but I gained weight. He kept complaining it wasn't right and he offended me. What a way to demotivate me! xD

I have to check if there's an area to post my progress. I'm keeping track of it and I would like to know your opinion

 

Welcome! I want to second everything Silver said, especially checking with a doctor to see if there's anything else going on. 

 

Can you reframe the way you're thinking? "I need to lose X pounds" isn't super motivational. "I'm going to get in shape and eat better so that I can finally _______!" might give you a positive focus. For example, I'd love to do a Tough Mudder/Spartan Race/crazy obstacle course of some kind. But I have like zero upper body strength right now, so I know I need to start working out if I want to be able to drag myself up a wall without my arms turning into spaghetti. There are posts all over the place about people changing the way they eat, starting some workouts, and they're not only losing weight as a result but looking better! 

 

(If you haven't seen Staci's story yet, check it out.) 

 

Eating fresh foods instead of processed makes you feel so much better too, and in time you may not even want processed/unhealthy stuff anymore. Eating healthier can also help you lose weight without necessarily trying too hard. (Can you not lose weight? Sure. But it's a lot harder to eat way too much broccoli than it is too many cookies. )

 

This whole thing is a process. It takes time, but it's so worth it in the end. Let us know if we can help you along the way!

 

ETA: Here's a cool blog post from a model who doesn't have a flat belly all day every day

Thank you

My nutritionist didn't give me a goal once I told her my story. My other nutritionist did and he wasn't as understanding as this one. She said that she was going to help me feel good about me and teach me how to eat. My mom also goes to the same nutritionist and she has a goal. I don't. I just want to lose my belly so I feel good about me. I don't want to be so self-conscious. I want to go to the beach and not be afraid of showing my body. I want to wear clothes like every girl and not having to worry that much about my number. I don't want to spend my whole life dieting. And, most of all, I want to feel good about me so I can improve my relationship. I have a boyfriend and he likes me the way I am. But of course, it would get better if I felt better, wouldn't it? At least, that's what my mom keeps telling me xD

[Basement Cat]

There is a place to post your progress: Daily Battle Logs

 

From what you are saying, I think it is possible that you are over eating. You say you can eat as much as you want as long as she allows it. I'm going to give you this challenge: track every single tiny little bite for a whole week. See what your totals are everyday for that week, and adjust accordingly.

 

You say you try "not to eat too much junk". You'd be surprised how quickly even a little junk food can add up. Just track your calories for one week and see what you get. 

 

Fleaball's advice is really good too. Find a performance related goal to motivate you. Progress in workouts is faster than weight loss, especially at the start.

 

Don't give up, you can figure it out!

[Flex Luthor]

I can't add anything to Silver's amazing advice so I'll just give you a big hug because I SO sympathize with the way you struggle with body image. If you ever want to talk my message box is always open. We'll help you defeat the monkey chatter in your head that tells you you aren't good enough. Spoiler alert: It's a liar. *hug*

[Annelise]

There is a place to post your progress: Daily Battle Logs

 

From what you are saying, I think it is possible that you are over eating. You say you can eat as much as you want as long as she allows it. I'm going to give you this challenge: track every single tiny little bite for a whole week. See what your totals are everyday for that week, and adjust accordingly.

 

You say you try "not to eat too much junk". You'd be surprised how quickly even a little junk food can add up. Just track your calories for one week and see what you get. 

 

Fleaball's advice is really good too. Find a performance related goal to motivate you. Progress in workouts is faster than weight loss, especially at the start.

 

Don't give up, you can figure it out!

Thank you, I posted there my logs so far

I do think my problem was over eating, even though I didn't eat the wrong stuff before starting this. It was the right stuff. Just in large quantities, I guess...

The supplements I'm taking are finally kicking (they started kicking in the past week after one long week of struggling. I still have some needy moments where I feel like I need sugar, but not as many as in the beggining) and I don't feel the need to eat that much. I actually think I'm eating way less that I should, since now I can spend a whole morning/afternoon without feeling hungry at all. I had lunch today by 1pm/2pm. I only started feeling hungry by 6pm. And yeah, I should have eaten by 5pm or so... I should be careful to not stay that much time without eating.

I can't add anything to Silver's amazing advice so I'll just give you a big hug because I SO sympathize with the way you struggle with body image. If you ever want to talk my message box is always open. We'll help you defeat the monkey chatter in your head that tells you you aren't good enough. Spoiler alert: It's a liar. *hug*

Oh, thank you so much

[Annelise]

Oops, double post. Sorry xD 

[Flex Luthor]

Thank you, I posted there my logs so far

I do think my problem was over eating, even though I didn't eat the wrong stuff before starting this. It was the right stuff. Just in large quantities, I guess... 

 

Yeah. The problem with healthy food is that some people act like you can eat as much healthy food as you want and never gain weight. It's a good start but not the whole picture. Glad you see it. It's takes some people a long time to figure that out.

[Annelise]

Yeah. The problem with healthy food is that some people act like you can eat as much healthy food as you want and never gain weight. It's a good start but not the whole picture. Glad you see it. It's takes some people a long time to figure that out.

Thank you

Yeah, it was strange, you know. I knew I didn't eat junk (I had like... One hamburger once every three weeks or every month and that was pretty much where I got easy with myself). Everything I ate was handmade, with carefully chosen veggies and not oily/greasy. I don't even like fried stuff that much, so you can see how easy it gets like this. So that's the only explanation. After this plan (and I really hope this teaches me how to eat, even though I don't think the things I ate were the problem. The quantities were), I'll make sure I won't eat that much. I'm the type of person that eats with the eyes and I feel sorry if I leave food on my plate (meh, it's like trying to be polite. I don't want people to think that I'm not eating that much because I didn't like it). It's all about educating oneself about quantities 

[Flex Luthor]

Get smaller plates

[smftexas86]

Welcome Annelise!

You know Silver has some really good points and diet wise there is nothing i can add.

 

I just wanted to suggest to maybe just, like somebody else said, look at the loosing weight a little different. Set yourself goals that are attainable, but more important, look at truly why you are doing it.

 

Everybody does things for their own reasons of course, and i hope i don't sound like a psychiatrist (I hate them personally), but your post almost sounded like loosing the weight was mostly about the body image and what others think of you. You will never be happy if thats truly the case, because one thing i have learned, when you loose the weight others will critize to.

 

I prefer the mentality of "I like who i am, but if i do this i will like myself even more because of this". If have had friends and stuff that have been depressed and stressed in the past, and honestly, the mental factor of that can hinder any progress.

 

In any case, Welcome to NF, this place is awesome, nobody judges, and we will support you fully along the way!

[TehSuckij]

Ok, not sure if this has been covered or not, but I've seen this happen on a few accounts so I might as well bring it up.  Have you had your thyroid levels checked?  And make sure you're eating ENOUGH food.  And welcome.

[Annelise]

Get smaller plates

You're not the first one suggesting that! xD

 

Welcome Annelise!

You know Silver has some really good points and diet wise there is nothing i can add.

 

I just wanted to suggest to maybe just, like somebody else said, look at the loosing weight a little different. Set yourself goals that are attainable, but more important, look at truly why you are doing it.

 

Everybody does things for their own reasons of course, and i hope i don't sound like a psychiatrist (I hate them personally), but your post almost sounded like loosing the weight was mostly about the body image and what others think of you. You will never be happy if thats truly the case, because one thing i have learned, when you loose the weight others will critize to.

 

I prefer the mentality of "I like who i am, but if i do this i will like myself even more because of this". If have had friends and stuff that have been depressed and stressed in the past, and honestly, the mental factor of that can hinder any progress.

 

In any case, Welcome to NF, this place is awesome, nobody judges, and we will support you fully along the way!

Thank you

Well, right now, I don't like the way I look. But I think I never did. I don't think it's because of the others. I don't care what the others think as long as I feel good about myself. I really like the me inside, but the outside doesn't seem to match. That's why I don't feel comfortable showing off my body on the beach or with pretty clothes. I guess a girl should like to show herself (not saying like a whore or something like that. You know. Liking herself and feeling good with some clothes that show just a bit of skin) and I just don't... I never handled quite well with compliments and I'm really self-conscious. I should look at me and say "I really look good", but all I hear is "No matter what you do, you can never look good". Hard to motivate myself to do this. I either do by force or I don't, since I don't have that self-esteem to keep me going, to make me want this. Weird, but well... Not even in my best days I looked like what I wanted to look. So it's easy to think I never will.

 

Ok, not sure if this has been covered or not, but I've seen this happen on a few accounts so I might as well bring it up.  Have you had your thyroid levels checked?  And make sure you're eating ENOUGH food.  And welcome.

Yeah, I checked those last month, I think. And it was normal... I should check it again with my doctor, just in case. I might be thinking I did and it was another thing xD Thank you