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About boys and dating, PLEASE HELP!!


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I know I'm a guy and this is in the women's section but I'm here for one reason and one reason only.   This.     My heart breaks for you. There shouldn't be a day that goes by where every woman isn't

Dude's get to help too?    In.     So much this.   Women are not "this" or "that".  There's over 3 billion of you on the planet, and you're all different.  And there's over 3 billion guys on the plane

I don't think I'm pretty either, but I still found someone who wanted to marry me! haha   Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, you know.   I had to look up make-up and hair tutorials on youtube. They

Sounds like you have a lot going on here. A lot of things that I think most women deal with at one point or another in their lives. 

 

One thing I've learned is that if I look "better", I feel better. For me, this is getting up in the morning and putting on pants, a shirt, shoes, and at least brushing my hair and washing my face, but usually also at least a little bit of makeup, even if it's just foundation. Until college, I was a sweatpants and tee shirt type of girl, didn't really wear makeup unless I was getting dressed up, and typically wore my hair all one length in a pony tail. Then, some friends did my makeup, I got my hair cut to a more flattering style, and I bought some clothes that were flattering and comfortable. Did it take some time to get used to? Sure. I also didn't do it all overnight. I changed when I felt I was ready, and only one thing at a time. 

 

I'm not saying that you have to change to be beautiful (you already are!) or for someone to love you (screw him!), but it seems like you're trying to tackle a whole bunch at once here, and more for changing how other see you than for how you see yourself. Sometimes, you have to change a little to be able to love yourself, first, and then the rest happens on its own. 

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Thank you guys for all this advice and encouragement, and it worked!

 

I am going on a date!!

 

He's a really cool Nerd and we agree on almost EVERYTHING! We both like the same things, have goals we want to achieve, etc. It's weird we are similar and yet opposites. He's actually everything I've always wanted and need, in a man. We've only Skyped and texted so far because he lives a little farther than me. But we want to meet in order to see if there's a spark between us and have decided on going to the movies to see the upcoming Muppet movie.

 

So um....what do I do?!

 

I want to go shopping to pick up some clothes because, all I have is my fat clothes. Comfy they may be, they are in no way flattering or appropriate. And not just clothing I want to get some more makeup, I need a flattering bra (all I have are workout bras), new shoes, and maybe jewelry (?). Maybe I'm overreacting but I at least want to look decent. I won't be going alone though, my neighbor has afford to take me shopping to help out, she loves fashion and makeup.

 

Does anyone have any good suggestions for hairstyle tutorials? I want to keep my hair down because I was told I look gorgeous that way. But it's super straight and I hate having my hair in my face. Is there a way to keep it down but out of my face at the same time?

 

And what kind of makeup is appropriate for a casual date? I was thinking the 40s style because it's natural and clean, but should I have a little color or smokey?

 

Any advice is most welcome cause I'm at a loss!

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Woot woot woot!!!!!! Awesome girl! :D:D:D

I'll leave the hair/clothes/makeup advice to the others 'cause I don't know jack about any of that stuff. Only thing I'll add is to get properly measured and fitted for a really nice bra. It doesn't matter that he won't be able to see it, you'll still feel amazing (and sexy) if you're wearing sexy undies. ;)

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Ok, don't laugh at me, but you know those mannequins in the stores? Those clothes are outfits, and all that stuff is on the rack behind it. Sometimes there are multiple combinations, too. It seriously took me until college to figure that one out. I'm a fan of going to NY and Company, where one rack might have 3 shirts, 2 cardigans, and a scarf that all go together - that gives you 12 outfits (kind of. But you get the idea). 

 

And I second Guzzi on the nice underwear. I finally laid down the cash for some VS panties, and while that part was painful, they do make me feel more grownup and put-together. 

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Thirding the bra advice. Nordstrom's has been good to me in regards to accurate measuring (I measure myself since I sew, but they were closer than any other place!) and having just about any size you may be. As for makeup, I would wear what you find comfortable, but makes you feel attractive. If a little smokey eye makes you feel a bit more confident, go for it! If you want to keep it clean and natural, that's fine too. I know the last thing I would want to worry about on a first date is my makeup upkeep.

 

As for hair, there are lots of neat half up styles you can play with, like waterfall braids or something of the like. Pinterest has tons of hair tutorials, but some take practice. Or a third hand. D:

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1) CALM DOWN GIRL. Lawl. He likes YOU, not the you that you haven't bought yet. A new outfit, a new hairdo, and new makeup... all that together is a recipe for you feeling super self-concious and not like YOU. 

 

 

2) Hair:  Why not wear it like it is in your Christmas Party pics? Low maintenance braid and SUPER cute on you. You can also image search on google for things like "hair down pinned to one side" for some looks. Easy and breezy is best for a first date!

Here are some cute, no fuss braided styles: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAySiTl3FaE

 

3) Makeup: Again, keep it simple! Practice it a few times, so you're not panicking about uneven eyeliner as he rings your doorbell. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gltqfcIZiuc

This girl is great, and gives a pretty straightforward makeup overview. Feel free to skip any of these steps! I never use primer, for example. I will say that eyebrows and eyeshadow are the best ways to brighten up a face.

NOTE1: She is Asian, and looks great with eyeliner going all the way to the inner corner. Most of us Caucasian folk do NOT. I stop my liner at the inner edge of my lashes (where they taper off), and NEVER do the bottom of my eye with liner. If you have round eyes, that's the best way to a natural look. Full eyeliner = raccoon eyes. 

NOTE2: Lining the inner rim of the eyes is actually super effective. Just don't do it with a medium brown shade or one with too much of a reddish hue (zombie eyes!). 

 

FEEL GREAT! I'm so happy for you :)

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http://www.reddit.com/r/MakeupAddiction/comments/1go4cn/misc_just_getting_into_makeup_not_sure_what_to/ - USE PRIMER

http://www.reddit.com/r/femalefashionadvice - I haven't looked at this reddit before, since I'm deployed and fashion is a non-issue, but you might find something helpful!

http://www.reddit.com/r/aBraThatFits - Never looked at this one either

 

Pinterest for hair. I use my flat iron whenever I want to feel fancy.

Here's a random girl from http://www.reddit.com/r/FancyFollicles/ who did flat iron curls (my go-to fancy style)

http://imgur.com/0Oy9puN

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Hey guys just a quick question, you all know I need a new bra but which style should I get?

Since I'm still dropping the pounds I just want to get one for now. But I'd like it to be kind of all around and not just for special occasions. Is a push up bra to much? When I had bras they were all t-shirt bras, but I have to admit under certain clothing they didn't work. What about full coverage?

What do u think girls?

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It totally depends on what you like and what is comfy. I like plunge style, because they never show in V-neck or lower cut shirts. My mother has huge bubbies and hates plunge style, because they don't support her correctly.

Find bras that are comfortable and sit correctly on the body. Wear something thin and lower cut to try on with the bra. Can you see the outline?

Does the bra peep out because the shirt is too low?

Cheapo bras, aka bras under $20, will not last and can actually cause health problems (skin and back issues, mostly). Beware of Victoria's Secret too. Many of those bras are flimsy and awful. Go to a department store! I suggest picking up a white or beige and a black, and something that makes you feel sexy. I love wearing sexy bras... It's a serious confidence booster!

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I have small breasts and I really don't want to spend an arm and a leg for something that might not even fit me for long. What stores do you recommend? I was thinking of Target.

I will definitely do the shirt test!

What about bralettes? Are they any good? Because I like the idea of comfort but I don't know about lack of support.

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I had a traditional bra from Target that fell apart after 2 wears... You can find reasonably priced bras of good quality at a Macys or similar. Plus, there are often sales!

I've never tried a bralette! I am also relatively small-chested (c-cup on a 6'3'' body), so I like things that give me a little lift and shape, especially those that push les boobs together. Cleavage is a great thing. But, I also LOVE a sports bra.

Target has a line of sportsy type bras... They have thin double straps and a sports bra shape, but they are thinner than a sports bra. I think it came in black white or grey... I loved this bra, because it had straps that were super thin (almost like a camisole), but felt like wearing a comfy sports bra.

I wouldn't trust a regular Target brand bra though. They might have decent options by Hanes or JMS, though! Trust your instincts. If it feels flimsy and cheap, it probably won't be comfy after eight hours!

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You can find some good deals at a Kohls. If you're in the 32 to 38/A to D range you're covered. However, I would recommend getting measured elsewhere like a high end store or Nordstrom's. Just because they measure you doesn't mean you have to buy from them! Anyway, Kohls often has some good sales going, and while it may not be the best bra ever, I totally get not wanting to make a huge investment when the chest size is fluctuating with weight loss. I still throw on my old Kohls bras when I'm doing laundry and have to leave the apartment.

 

(As for the actual brands, I think it's Maiden Form, Wagner, Lily of France, and Apt. 9 has some cute ones)

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I have some target bras they are okay. I recently invested in some from soma intimates and I have to admit it was definitely an investment and well worth the money. Mai girls look golden in them!

Make up.

A few things

Practice.

Practice

Practice.

A lot.

Or go to the store and have a place do it for you in advance if you are really nervous.

Invest in some good brushes. Real techniques by Samantha Chapman from the pixiwoo channel are great brushes. Highly recommend them.

Coastal scents pallets are a good starting place for colors since the are a lot. Down side is there are a lot and its easy to get overwhelmed.

I've been using the Mayballine color tattoo as my primer and then any similar colors on top.

Blending is usually key. This comes with practice also finding a neutral look is hard. A truly full neutral look is a lot of Make up. Practice get used to seeing yourself in the make up. I definitely wouldn't go crazy with it but make a solid attempt.

BB creams are kind of amazing... Easy light weight good for every day and can act as a primer if needed ... I love how they even the skin tone without becoming a face mask.

It's really a lot of trial and error and having the patience to play and practice so you can do it under pressure or in short time frames.

Fabulous you are going out. I hope it's awesome for you:-)

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Just... keep expectations under control.

 

Same as with weight loss/getting fit, trust in/commit to the process and try not to fixate on results. Regardless of whether this particular date works out, the fact you are out there dating and meeting people is fantastic progress all by itself. If you keep it up, you will see the results - even if it is tough going sometimes.

 

Don't stress too much, and enjoy yourself. I love first dates.

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Just... keep expectations under control.

Same as with weight loss/getting fit, trust in/commit to the process and try not to fixate on results. Regardless of whether this particular date works out, the fact you are out there dating and meeting people is fantastic progress all by itself. If you keep it up, you will see the results - even if it is tough going sometimes.

Don't stress too much, and enjoy yourself. I love first dates.

I'd second this too. Make sure above all else you have fun and enjoy yourself. If it works out, great! If not, it's practice for next time ;)

I've never been on a first date, something I have to look forward to... *Sigh*

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Dates can be anything you want! There is no reason why a dinner out should be considered more or less of a date than going to Walmart and having nerf sword fights (my personal favourite). If there is something you enjoy doing, or a place you like being, that can be your jumping off point for a date.

Clothing should be what makes you feel happy, while still begin practical. There is nothing wrong with dressing up, but just remember that you don't want to create a false image, so be true to who you are. Try slightly dressing up what you would normally wear, there is no need to do a complete makeover. If in doubt, have a fallback outfit that makes you look and feel amazing. I highly recommend polka dot dresses!

 

Not quite sure how I ended up here, but coming from a guy, feel free to not do the typical "dinner" date. When on a first date, and it's dinner or coffee... it feels like a job interview.

 

 

 

Thank you guys for all this advice and encouragement, and it worked!

 

I am going on a date!!

 

He's a really cool Nerd and we agree on almost EVERYTHING! We both like the same things, have goals we want to achieve, etc. It's weird we are similar and yet opposites. He's actually everything I've always wanted and need, in a man. We've only Skyped and texted so far because he lives a little farther than me. But we want to meet in order to see if there's a spark between us and have decided on going to the movies to see the upcoming Muppet movie.

 

So um....what do I do?!

 

I want to go shopping to pick up some clothes because, all I have is my fat clothes. Comfy they may be, they are in no way flattering or appropriate. And not just clothing I want to get some more makeup, I need a flattering bra (all I have are workout bras), new shoes, and maybe jewelry (?). Maybe I'm overreacting but I at least want to look decent. I won't be going alone though, my neighbor has afford to take me shopping to help out, she loves fashion and makeup.

 

Does anyone have any good suggestions for hairstyle tutorials? I want to keep my hair down because I was told I look gorgeous that way. But it's super straight and I hate having my hair in my face. Is there a way to keep it down but out of my face at the same time?

 

And what kind of makeup is appropriate for a casual date? I was thinking the 40s style because it's natural and clean, but should I have a little color or smokey?

 

Any advice is most welcome cause I'm at a loss!

Good to hear

 

If you're not too into makeup, then ya, go light... if you go overboard it shows. At the same time, don't be afraid to go without. My fiance didn't start wearing makeup until last year (Outside of a reunion and wedding), and we've been together for 5+ years now. (She seems to be going all girly girl on me all of a sudden, but that's another story.)

 

Her hair has always been a standard issue ponytail... he likes you for you, don't feel like you need to change that because of some weird social construct.

 

as for clothing, I would have to agree on the dress idea. Not the skintight deals either, those just look uncomfortable, but the free-flowing ones. Something really attractive about those...

 

Oh and I guess a good idea would be to make sure the outfit matches the activity... if you're rock-climbing don't wear a dress, if you're hiking, don't wear heels.. :-)

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You know the girls of NF should have a fashion thread. So we can post clothing we've found or styles we like. It would help a lot with those of us who are not fashion savvy :P

 

Has anyone tried Besame cosmetics? I love how their products are all vintage, from the 20s to 60s. I just ordered some lipstick from them and I can't wait to try it out! I won't be wearing it on the date though, cause if theirs a spark we plan on kissing :redface:. Another thing I would like to know about, I've never kissed so should I wear something on my lips or just go bare?

 

18 days till date!!

 

Oh! And I'll post a pic of me wearing the lipstick and in full makeup and you guys can tell me what you think.

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You IMHO shouldn't be planning on kissing on a first date.  You're going to have dinner/lunch whatever with what is tantamount to a total stranger.  That's A. Already to much expectation

B. setting yourself up for a let down

C. way ahead of where you should be. 

 

Kissing is for people you are close to.  Not complete strangers.   But I take relationships seriously- and I have found from my experience with men- there is a fine line between giving it up to easy and losing respect- and holding out on the physical stuff and having some self respect for yourself.  (This isn't playing hard to get by the way- that's something else)

 

 

Secondly dry cracked lips are no good-for kissing or anything else.

Take care of them.  Moisturize- exfoliate- some sort of something on them is good. But if you don't regularly wear lipstick- go for a neutral kind of color- I really like Revlon's Suede's sticks for this- I have a nice lighter shade that goes on and barely looks there- but even's out the skin tone- and I don't have to worry so much about it rubbing off. 

 

The Maybelline 14/24 hr stay lipsticks- single application are great for neutrals- they wear SO well. I have about 20 of them- well in all colors- but I found the neutrals wear incredibly well.  Grab one of those and wear it a few days just to get used to it. 

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LOL I have a different approach here. I agree that you shouldn't plan for kissing because of A and B, but if things are going well I'd much rather kiss someone as soon as possible. If the guy's a bad kisser then sorry that's a no-go. :P But that's me. And while I do take relationships seriously I think kissing is just plain fun, and an excellent gauge of chemistry. But whatever happens NEVER do anything that feels wrong or pressured in any way. I think THAT's how you lose respect.   

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