Djinn's Battle Log

[Djinn]

I realized about a month ago that I accidentally took four more credits than I needed to, which explains why the rest of my cohort was taking it easy this spring while I was struggling to, say, finish my laundry or have time to eat.

ANYWAY.

The term is OVER! I have three months yawning before me, during which my only task is to teach two really easy classes.

So I'm going to use this time to really focus on getting fit, in the hopes that any habits I build this summer have half a chance of sticking around into the fall. 

 

For now though, it's off to the gym!

[Djinn]

Even though there are only like 11 days left in this challenge, I'm still going to get on it right now.

 

Here's the plan:

1. Track calories every day and post them on here.

2. Running, weightlifting or biking in some combination at least five days a week.

3. No more coffee, except as a treat! Tea and water from here on out!

 

Other goal: TBD

 

So, for today, to get things off on the right foot:

1. 1,962/1,964 calories

2. Biked for 25 minutes, did 5 minutes on my arms and 5 on my abs.

3. Drank two cups of coffee today, but also had water and tea for dessert tonight.

 

All in all, not a stupendous day, but still a good one. Now I'm going to go kick some time around with a friend.

[Stonie]

I realized about a month ago that I accidentally took four more credits than I needed to, which explains why the rest of my cohort was taking it easy this spring while I was struggling to, say, finish my laundry or have time to eat.

ANYWAY.

The term is OVER! I have three months yawning before me, during which my only task is to teach two really easy classes.

So I'm going to use this time to really focus on getting fit, in the hopes that any habits I build this summer have half a chance of sticking around into the fall. 

 

For now though, it's off to the gym!

 

Accidentally beast-moding your education. Way to show 'em! Now you get to enjoy three months of gleeful relaxation. And more time for hardcore exerciiise!

 

Anyway, you picked some goals and you did pretty well in sticking to them. All in one day. Also, don't underestimate cutting out caffeine if you're used to drinking heaps; It'll attack your brain (withdrawal headaches) and that would suck.

 

I wouldn't know though, I'm much too scared to try slaying that beast. xD

[Djinn]

1. 1,964/ 1,967

2. Walked for 30 minutes.

3. Had two cups of coffee (to ward off that headache you mentioned,Teagarden; I know that headache well...) and a whole bunch of water.

[Djinn]

I was thinking about the non-fitness goal. I pick at my skin like some kind of crazy person while I'm reading! I know it's a weird nervous habit, but I can't seem to break it! Any suggestions?

[Djinn]

So on Friday, my numbers were as follows:

1. 2,233/ 1,964 (so I went over, but it was a weird day, so I'm actually pretty pleased with myself).

2. Didn't work out.

3. Drank only two cups of coffee, to my recollection.

 

End of term parties are awesome!

I dyed my hair purple and went along with some of my cohort last night.

 

Thus for Saturday:

1. 1,983/1,964

2. Went for a run, did an ab workout

3. Drank only one (very large) cup of coffee and lots of water.

 

So it turns out that with the proper app, it isn't horrible to count calories, and I've already started to feel like I look different, which is cool. WOot!

[Stonie]

I was thinking about the non-fitness goal. I pick at my skin like some kind of crazy person while I'm reading! I know it's a weird nervous habit, but I can't seem to break it! Any suggestions?

 

Bandaids? I have the same thing - after washing too many dishes at work my fingers go all flaky. bandaids stop me picking at them. You may start to look like a clumsy fellow but it should stop you picking. Should work for any part of your body. 

[Djinn]

I'm reviewing the progress I've made since I first decided to get active about a year and a half ago.

My Goals for Challenge 1, from February 2014:

 

1. A methodical headspace comes from tea and not coffee for me. So I shall be decreasing my coffee intake, ending up at “enjoying an occasional cup,†while upping my intake of green, white, black, red and mate.

2. Endeavor to bike to work once a week, even if it’s on a day I don’t need to be there, just to start getting my head around it.

3. Complete beginning bodyweight workouts three times a week, working up to completing two sets of everything except lunges.

4. Brief fun runs three times a week. Talking 20 minutes here.

 

I'm really proud of myself! As for the first goal, I now drink tea 90% of the time, and only rarely drink coffee - I actually prefer tea these days! I also really killed the fourth goal, and have been running three times a week for over a year now; I finally finished a 5K last month.  Also, although I've been slacking since school's been out, I biked to work twice a week the entire year, missing only half a dozen times when the weather was too bad or I was sick. I didn't make much progress in bodyweight workout specifically, but I did take up yoga, which I know has made me much stronger. This is a heck of an ego boost!

 

I also want to review and update my main goals (Commentary is in italics)

 

Reviewing old goals:

• A back sexy enough to sport a large, impressive Beardsley-Ricketts style tattoo of my design. (Pull ups! Yes!) I still dream of this.
• The ability to run as far and as long as I would ever want or need. I’m thinking ten five miles is about as far or as long as I would ever want or need to run.
• A methodical headspace, which I’m so much closer to having (for now) than ever before. Improvement will look like calm, composed academic and creative output (school and the aforementioned tattoo). Hahaha.
• A kitchen-centered diet made of wholesome goodness. Yes! My kitchen gives birth to paleo/ south beach goodness on a regular basis, but I want to be more consistent.
• Steady improvement with bodyweight routines, both beginner and advanced.
• The ability to bike the terrible and steep hill that stands between me and school. Totally not that steep or terrible anymore.
• Become a commuter cyclist. Done and done! I only work on campus two days a week, but it isn't any big thing anymore.
• Mastery over whatever magic will translate these accomplishments into a happier life. I will probably be figuring this out on here, so that like-minded people may perchance benefit from my overthinking. Hmmm. I think that being happier allows these things to occur, and taking the time to work on these things has made me happier.

Updated Goals:

• Amazonian Sage sums it up, but requires elaboration, so let's traverse the back story!

I am a tall person (6'2", broad shoulders, strong legs), with average body fat (24%), and I have a hard time building muscle.

 

In my 20s, I tried to very hard to fit into the very thin category, with the hope of appearing smaller...which is really just impossible for me.(I'm not ever going to be tiny and fairy-like.) Sigh. But earlier this year, I had this crazy dream that I was a badass warrior (after playing Divinity, Original Sin for an entire three day weekend...).  I woke up with the picture in my head and I couldn't get back to sleep, so I started looking up pictures of lady warriors online, and then I found this picture:

 

 

This image represents a 1950s prediction of how women in the year 2000 will be huge and impressive, "She will be more than six feet tall, wear a size 11 shoe, have shoulders like a wrestler and muscles like a truck driver," according to AP writer Dorothy Roe, who, trapped in 1950's patriarchy, was dreaming of a fleet of massive, powerful women: “Nature seems bent on producing a new race of Amazons. Within the next 50 years you’ll find the emancipated woman engaging actively in such sports as football, baseball and soccer. She’ll think nothing of chopping the wood and acting as family car mechanic.†Finding this old article was a weird moment for me after spending so much time wishing I were short and small for...pretty much my whole life. But in finding this article, I had to face that to this woman in 1949, my huge frame is...unique and full of promise. I could go on (obviously), but you get the idea.

 

Though I have always been at odds with my own personal aesthetics, this got me thinking about how to embrace and enhance my most noticeable feature, rather than continue to run from it. I started doing yoga for back problems (from slumping for years), and something about the act of stretching myself out in class made me want to inhabit *more* space. Now, I am obviously not aesthetically or physiologically inclined to have "muscles like a truck driver," but I'm sure going to try to be as strong as one, and also try to work that Amazonian aesthetic.

 

So then, to make a long story short (ha ha), I have three things I'm working on in life:

• Getting really strong and fit ("athletic")
• Taking care of myself while I get really strong (sleeping, eating, etc.)
• Using my creativity more and writing more.

I really enjoyed writing this up! I'm preparing for a timed, written comprehensive exam in September, so I'm taking every opportunity to practice generating lots of words.  

 

Djinn

[Xena]

What a great post! You've really made some huge changes. I'm also a bit Amazonian (5'10", ~24% BF, size 10-11 shoes) though you have me beat on the height. It's sometimes an advantage, sometimes a disadvantage...just have to embrace it for what it is (as you seem to be doing).

[Djinn]

Thanks, Xena! I like your name!

[Djinn]

Yesterday was a good day!

 

I did a bodyweight workout at the little outdoor, community gym near my house. It's basically a bunch of poles and bars and benches stuck in the ground, and just right for what I was doing:

 

3 sets of 10 bodyweight squats

3 sets of 10 pushups

3 sets of 8 incline rows (overhand)

3 sets of 10 tricep dips

5 sets of 5 barbell overhead presses @ 16 lbs total (2 8 lb weights)

 

Then I went home and did my plank routine:

30 second plank

30 second side plank on knees (both sides)

Bird-Dogs? (10 each side)

30 second twist plank on knee (both sides)

Repeat

 

All of it was hard, but I'm staying focused on good form. The incline rows were easier than I anticipated. I can't go all the way down on a pushup, only about halfway. I don't think I'm doing the tricep dips right, so I'm going to get some help with that before my next workout, which is Sunday. I'm not as sore as I expected I would be.

 

Now I'm off for a run!

 

Djinn

[Djinn]

Friday's run was really exhausting - a 5 minute warmup, followed by ten 40 second sprints, interspersed with a minute of jogging, then a 5 minute cool-down. After Thursday's squats, my legs were really feeling it. My arms aren't as sore as I was worried they would be after the push ups.

 

I was meant to do a 30 minute yoga session on Saturday, but I was too busy running errands all day - that's seriously the worst excuse on earth, so I'm going to need to try to get up early for it next Saturday. Today, I'm hoping to drag myself and my bf to the community gym for another bodyweight routine - he likes to workout, but he can get really drowned by his work.

 

Today is also a day for cleaning, while I'm listening to Against Nature, an 1884 French novel. Even though I am studying British literature for my comprehensive exams in the fall, this novel is really tied into the Decadent Movement in England and inspired or influenced a lot of the writers I'm studying. It's really strange so far!

[Djinn]

Well, I managed to get rhough most of that book, and I plan to finish it today.

 

My bodyweightworkout went well, but the squats were a bit harder than they were on Thursday. I'm wondering when or if squats will ever not be really difficult. I didn't get to the community gym at all, so I did everything except the rows. I also did my half hour of yoga!

 

I went running this morning, and that went fine. I have been working on building a website since then. It's maybe not the best use of my time, but I'm pretty happy to be working on it.

[Djinn]

Yesterday's bodyweight workout didn't go that well! I ended up changing the routine just so I could complete it:

 

5 sets of 5 bodyweight squats

3 sets of 8 pushups

3 sets of 8 incline rows (underhand)

3 sets of 8 tricep dips

5 sets of 5 barbell overhead presses @ 16 lbs total (two 8 lb weights)

 

The squats are killing me! Last night, I had a terrible pain in my right hip. It's gone today, but I think I'll check my form before my next workout on Sunday. I figured out how to do a tricep dip properly, and now they're much harder, but I definitely feel the difference!

 

I was meant to go running today, but I'm going to push that to tomorrow and just do a really good yoga session today, to try to help my muscles recover. I'm also meant to do some weight lifting tomorrow, but...I don't know if that's a good idea, given the pain I had yesterday. Thoughts?

 

Otherwise, I'm taking some time today to find some new paleo recipes.

[Djinn]

It's been a weird, bad week. I've mostly kept up with my workouts, but I've been having one of my existential crises (which I am well known for), and that's making eating well feel burdensome and obnoxious.  I've kind of been having that "What's the point of not having a pizza, we're all going to die anyway" thing going on. (Sorry for the doom and gloom - I used to think this way all the time, and now it's only very rarely, which is a testament to the powers of meditation and philosophizing!)

 

So, knowing I don't want to feel like this, knowing that I've got to find a way to rebuild my worldview now that I've decimated it with nihilism, I took myself out to breakfast, ordered a fine and sumptuous paleo breakfast - veggie and turkey sausage omelet with two sides of fruit - and although the omelet is bland and the strawberries are garnished with cilantro, there is a customer here who is providing an 8 a.m. floor show. She was right before me in line and I was permitted to hear her order, which was complicated and poorly described, took her though two cashiers, and involved substitutions, food allergies, specialized drinks, etc. When this difficult order took too long to prepare, she went and complained, repeatedly, to the employees, and then said she wanted to cancel the order and leave. The food did come and she did eat it, and now that she's left, all the employees are laughing about it, but you can tell they're a bit annoyed about the frenzy she tried to cause because it's been ten minutes and they're talking about which employee would have been the best suited to be pitted against this woman. "I would have liked to see what Dan would have said to her," the manager exclaims, and I hear Dan, I assume, laughing boisterously from the kitchen. So... mostly this story was to make me feel better because I like describing things.

 

But! I think I can squeeze a moral out of it (I'm good at that). I think this might have been an issue of agency. Because sometimes when I feel like I don't have any agency, I do this same kind of thing to myself - I whip up all the dissent. When I do that, it's always in the hope of figuring out what isn't working: why is it still so hard, why aren't I as successful as I want to be, why do I feel down, what's wrong, what's broken and why? And sometimes it works, but I have to say: it usually doesn't.

 

Here's something: the manager is still laughing about the difficult customer. This restaurant that I'm at has recently declared bankruptcy. I am not bothered enough by my bland omelet (salt, duh) and cilantro-flavored strawberries to complain. But this woman, squeaky wheel that she is, could be seen as a valuable negative critique of flawed business processes. The manager could, in the back of her mind, be looking for places where the customer is right, where her team isn’t flawless. But that takes a lot of diplomacy, honestly, to see the good along with the bad, to have compassion for the bad and try to change it.

 

I personally lack that diplomacy most of the time. But I was talking to my boyfriend about it last night, and he kept saying that I dismiss everything good when I detect a bad thing. And I guess that’s a way that I can learn from this morning’s floor show. I shouldn’t be an inconsolable tyrant with myself.

[Djinn]

It's already Wednesday!

 

So here's a recap:

 

Monday: Went running. Wrote 600 words.

 

Tuesday: Did BWW:

3 sets of 10 bodyweight squats

3 sets of 10 pushups

3 sets of 8 incline rows (underhand)

3 sets of 8 tricep dips

3 sets of 8 barbell overhead presses @ 16 lbs total (two 8 lb weights)

I wrote 600 words, but it wasn't for creative reasons.

 

Wednesday: I've done nothing yet! But I have yoga and running planned.

[Djinn]

Friday recap!

 

Wednesday: I went running.

Thursday: I did nothing!

Friday: Went running and hurt my left hip. I have yoga scheduled for today.

 

This looks a bit grim, but my diet has been phenomenal lately, so there's that.

[Xena]

I don't think that looks grim (in terms of effort). But I hope your hip gets better fast. Not being able to do thinks gets frustrating pretty fast.

[Djinn]

Good grief! This thread is so old.

So I've spent the last year getting good at yoga (fitness-wise) and working on school. School included: finishing my comprehensive exams (passed!) and studying Irish language and literature.

When I tried lifting last year, I kept spraining my neck and my right hip, so I knew that I needed to decrease my tension levels and become more flexible if I were going to achieve my goals. Luckily, I really love yoga!

Anyway, now that I'm crazy flexible and devoid of injury, I'm back to weight lifting again. I'm just going to post my workouts on here to keep track of things.

Today's workout:

1. Bench Press: 1: 5lbs@14 reps, 2: 10lbs@15 reps, 3: 15 lbs@12 reps
2. Bent Over Row: 3 sets: 20 lbs@ 12 reps
3. DB Shoulder Press: 3 set: 20lbs@ 8 reps
4. Triceps Ext.: 1: 5lbs@ 10 reps, 2 and 3: 5lbs@ 8 reps
5. Bicep Curl: 3 sets: 20lbs@ 8 reps

I have no idea how to change the tags on this thread, but I'm sadly not cut out to be a ranger. Running is too hard on my crappy hip. I do sprint and walk a lot, but I'm more interested in getting stronger than in getting faster.

 

~Civel

 

[Djinn]

More workout stats:

Wednesday, July 6:

1. Squat: 3 sets: bodyweight@ 8 reps
2. Stiff Legged Deadlift: 1: 20 lbs@ 12 reps, 2: 30lbs@ 10reps, 3: 30lbs@ 12reps
3. Standing Calf Raise: 3 sets: 10lbs@ 8 reps
4. Seated Leg Curl: 1: 50lbs@ 13 reps, 2: 60lbs @ 9 reps, 3: 60lbs@ 12 reps (My inner left knee REALLY hurt after this, but it felt okay the next day)
5. Leg extension: 1: 50lbs@ 9 reps, 2 and 3: 40lbs@ 8 reps. (I scaled back on the weight because my inner left knee was so sore).
6. Swiss Ball Crunch: 3 sets of 10

Saturday, July 9:

1. Bench Dip: 3 sets: bodyweight@ 8 reps
2. Lateral Raise: 1: 10 lbs@ 8 reps, 2: 16lbs@ 8reps, 3: 12lbs@ 12reps
3. Skullcrushers:1: 10 lbs@ 12 reps, 2: 15lbs@ 8reps, 3: 15lbs@ 12reps
4. Hammer Curl: 3 sets: 20lbs@ 8 reps
5. Bodyweight Rows: 1: 12 reps, 2 and 3: 8 reps

Sunday, July 10:

1. Deadlift: 1 set 15 lbs@ 8 reps
2. Bodyweight Lunge: 3 sets of 8
3. Front Squat: 1: 10lbs@ 8reps, 2 and 3: 16lbs@ 8 reps.
4. Clam: 1: 16 reps, 2 and 3: 15 reps
5. Superman: 2reps@ 20 sec.

I have found all of this very, very challenging. I'm also evidently retaining water from these new workouts, which sucks. However, I'm excited, and I'm looking forward to repeating my workout from last Tuesday to see if I've gotten any stronger.

I still have a lot of disbelief that I'm capable of becoming very strong, honestly. I'm like a skinny-fat ectomorph body-type. I have a little belly, and flabby arms, but everything else is slim. However, I've never tried lifting heavy before, and I've sworn to give it six months.

Also, I have a messed up back and hips - they're really tight. My lower back doesn't have much curve - it's sort of flat. "Posterior Pelvic Tilt". I don't have tight hamstrings. I can touch my toes while seated and in a forward bend, I can put both palms flat on the floor and bend my elbows a bit. I don't understand what is causing this or how to correct it. Anyone have any ideas?

[Djinn]

I'm feeling pretty down, and I just want to get it off my chest so that maybe I'll feel light enough to do my workout tonight.

So there was this job I applied for, and even though I don't really want it, I found out today that they aren't considering me after the interview. The problem is that I thought I was a shoe-in, so now I'm feeling accosted by self-doubt, tallying up additional reasons for self-doubt. 

And usually...I'm just the sort of person who would turn inward and numb myself with reruns and video games and booze until complacency again replaces the glimmer of self-confidence that I've been desperately trying to gather. But I really, really don't want to do that anymore.

It's just hard to believe that not taking the path of complacency will actually yield any other result - even if I'm not complacent this time, what about next time? I always fail - and, seriously, that sounds so pathetic that it doesn't even sound like me.

All right. I actually do feel better now that I've gotten my thoughts in order. I would normally erase this, but I think I'll leave it in my log as a record for the next time I'm feeling like giving up. I'll update post-workout. Thanks for listening, folks of the virtual ether.

 

[Djinn]

I did it! It was hard, but I feel good about myself for going for it.

1. Bench Press: 1: 20lbs@ 8reps, 2: 20lbs@12 reps, 3: 20lbs@15 reps
2. Bent Over Row: 1: 20 lbs@ 15 reps, 2: 20lbs@ 12 reps, 3: 25lbs@10 reps
3. DB Shoulder Press: 3 set: 30lbs@ 8 reps
4. Triceps Ext.: 1: 15lbs@ 12 reps, 2 and 3: 20lbs@ 8 reps
5. Bicep Curl: 1: 20lbs@ 10 reps, 2:20 lbs@ 8 reps, 3: 25lbs@ 8 reps

I'm going to go have some dinner now. :-)

[Djinn]

I was thinking about dieting while I should have been paying attention to eating, and I thought I'd throw down some wordage along these parts.

I'm not going to do the paleo style diet for two very good reasons:

1. I have a history of bulimia and food obsession. I've wasted years of my life thinking about dieting. Anytime - literally ANY TIME - I have tried to eliminate food groups, I end up obsessed, binging, depressed, etc. I simply can't justify the quality of life sacrifice I would predictably be making if I tried.
2. No matter what I do, my body wants to weigh 185 pounds. Despite pretty much unceasing plotting to lose any weight at all, I have weighed 185 for the past ten years. This has always frustrated me because if I eat paleo for a week, then give into the pizza ache, my body gains the upper hand again and within a few days, I'm back to 185. If I'm on South Beach for 2 months, I'm back to 185 within a week. On the plus side, if I go on a two week bender of fried food and Irish car bombs, and then weigh myself, I weigh, like 188. And within a few days, I'm at 185 again. My body is DETERMINED to stay at 185, and to return to 185 it will make me miserable.

So I figure I won't mess with it against its will. I'm at around 24% body fat. If I strength train, and my body still wants to weigh 185 - which I have no reason to doubt, given its tenacity to this point - my body fat will probably go down, and I'll look better, maybe even fit into smaller clothes. I've basically decided to let it have its way so that I can think about something else for a change. Like I said, I'm going to give strength training a six month try and see if my measurements change at all. 

BTW, here are my starting measurements:

Height: 6'2"

Weight: 185

Left Bicep: 14 inches

Upper Right Thigh: 25.5 inches

Waist: 34.5 inches

Hips: 40.5 inches

 

 

[Djinn]

Today's workout:

1. Squat: 1: 25 lbs @ 8 reps, 2 and 3: 30 lbs@ 8 reps
2. Stiff Legged Deadlift: 1: 20 lbs@ 13 reps, 2: 30lbs@ 14reps, 3: 30lbs@ 9reps
3. Standing Calf Raise: 1: 16lbs@ 8 reps, 2: 20lbs@ 10 reps, 3: 40lbs@ 20 reps
4. Seated Leg Curl: 1: 5lbs@ 12 reps, 2: 5lbs @ 8 reps, 3: 5lbs@ 8 reps (I scaled back on the weight because my inner left knee was so sore).
5. Inverse Leg Curl: 1: 40lbs@ 13 reps, 2: 45lbs@ 8 reps, and 3: 45lbs@ 10 reps.

And then I hobbled out of the gym and made an appointment with one of the school's trainers because I'm clearly doing something wrong. It's a good deal - 3, 1 hour sessions for $80. If I keep hurting myself I'm never going to want to stick with this. I'm still terribly frightened of both the as yet unseen trainer and the weight room itself. I feel old, weak, and chubby every time I set foot in the place. Sigh.