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Fearkiller scared of regret of wasting life


Fearkiller

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http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/top-7-regrets-people-who-are-dying.html

That is my motivation - many of those things people regret when they die, I am afraid as well.

 

Background

I am a 21 year old student of Bachelor of Business Administration (marketing, running a business, personal selling etc.)

My life is become one big chore, a boring task I have to go through. I just want more light among the grey.
Way too often I go through a day, and looking back, I can't remember anything awesome that makes me smile,

or was worthwhile in a long term. Or through a week, month or a whole fucking year!

What makes me fear is that I often see this happening, and think: where the hell did the time go? It just disappears into the everyday.

I see the uselessness of things I do because they are comfortable, easy to slip into, and offer instant, if not pleasure, at least a way to hide from reality.

Like watching TV, computer games, reading. Escapism from reality. That's what it is.

I do not want to be a person, who wastes life. My goal is to find small, beautiful, easy things that can be done daily

and will get me somewhere. Even if it is a inch at a time.

A) I want to be fit, because I want the undercurrent of all my moments be something more than indifferent mass I can't feel.

Over the previous challenges, I have several times tried working out as a solid set of bodyweight exercises with a warm up,

exercises and streching. It has felt intimidating and pressing to obsess over it and have it as a unyielding chunk.

Then, during the Planksanity I found it fun to do planks in small 1-2 minute doses over the day.

So it turns out The Zenhabits Thousand Cuts Fitness Program, as described there, http://zenhabits.net/1000-cuts/
is small things along the day. A few pushups there, a pull up when you pass the bar, run when you feel like it.

Making them more frequent, harder and preferably something playful given  time.

So for future comparison, run until I have to stop, 10 push-ups or 1 minute good-form plank are sufficient each for one point.

100+ points A, 75+ B and so on.

B) One Random act of kindness per day. Buying cookies from the cafeteria to leave for people to eat for free is one,

a free hugs thing is one, but also smaller things, like making dinner for my family or massaging my mom's back

when she has a headache count. Preferably finding things that will not cost anything.

One random kindness qualifies for the list only once.

 

Will do a PvS thread for it probably.

C) Peace in the mind. Meditate 3 minutes daily. Sit still, breathe deep in and out, clearing my mind from thoughts, let the sleeping mind (subconscious) a chance to settle.

 

D) Be in bed before 10 pm every day, and find a way to get out of bed before 7 o''clock (the wallowing in bed just because it is cozy serves no purpose, the reason for it is that I have not slept enough).

Stat points to follow.

 

"There is beauty in hardship / There are poems in grief" -Assemblage 23, Damaged

| STR:2.25 | DEX:2.25 | STA:2 | CON:1.25 | CHA:3.25 | WIS:7 | A place I will collect my woots - if I remember

Challenges | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |  6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 15.115.2 |

Milythaels'  HOoRAY for which I am grateful | Today, right now, I am alive. And that is good.

It is amazing the power of those small gestures of love and kindness have on our lives. <3 - Liberator

"I myself am made entirely of flaws, stiched together with good intentions." - Augusten Burroughs, Magical thinking:True stories

"Pick up the pieces and keep going, one painfully slow step at a time." Hiraedd the twice-risen, hamadryad. 

"Spread love and understanding. Use force if necessary." - Leon Trotsky

"Let me think about the people I care about the most, and when they fail or disappoint me, I still love them, I still give them chances, and I still see the best in them. Let me extend that generosity to myself." zefrank1, An Invocation for Beginnings

"I don't feel guilty for wanting. That's like being mad because you have to breathe or pee. It just is." Someone in Reddit

"If you do strange things, strange things will happen!"

"That's it! Now go make something beautiful." -Jake Parker

 

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1x10 push-ups,

1x1 minute plank,

2x1 pull-up,,,

They start to pile up.

"There is beauty in hardship / There are poems in grief" -Assemblage 23, Damaged

| STR:2.25 | DEX:2.25 | STA:2 | CON:1.25 | CHA:3.25 | WIS:7 | A place I will collect my woots - if I remember

Challenges | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |  6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 15.115.2 |

Milythaels'  HOoRAY for which I am grateful | Today, right now, I am alive. And that is good.

It is amazing the power of those small gestures of love and kindness have on our lives. <3 - Liberator

"I myself am made entirely of flaws, stiched together with good intentions." - Augusten Burroughs, Magical thinking:True stories

"Pick up the pieces and keep going, one painfully slow step at a time." Hiraedd the twice-risen, hamadryad. 

"Spread love and understanding. Use force if necessary." - Leon Trotsky

"Let me think about the people I care about the most, and when they fail or disappoint me, I still love them, I still give them chances, and I still see the best in them. Let me extend that generosity to myself." zefrank1, An Invocation for Beginnings

"I don't feel guilty for wanting. That's like being mad because you have to breathe or pee. It just is." Someone in Reddit

"If you do strange things, strange things will happen!"

"That's it! Now go make something beautiful." -Jake Parker

 

Link to post

10 push-ups, 8 lunges, 1 pull up. Working this far.

 

Added a sleeping goal, as everything is worse with sleep deprivation.

I have a tendency to do everything else useless stuff after 10 pm than sleeping,

and every day the one hour sleep deficit makes me irritated, restless, less focused.

"There is beauty in hardship / There are poems in grief" -Assemblage 23, Damaged

| STR:2.25 | DEX:2.25 | STA:2 | CON:1.25 | CHA:3.25 | WIS:7 | A place I will collect my woots - if I remember

Challenges | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |  6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 15.115.2 |

Milythaels'  HOoRAY for which I am grateful | Today, right now, I am alive. And that is good.

It is amazing the power of those small gestures of love and kindness have on our lives. <3 - Liberator

"I myself am made entirely of flaws, stiched together with good intentions." - Augusten Burroughs, Magical thinking:True stories

"Pick up the pieces and keep going, one painfully slow step at a time." Hiraedd the twice-risen, hamadryad. 

"Spread love and understanding. Use force if necessary." - Leon Trotsky

"Let me think about the people I care about the most, and when they fail or disappoint me, I still love them, I still give them chances, and I still see the best in them. Let me extend that generosity to myself." zefrank1, An Invocation for Beginnings

"I don't feel guilty for wanting. That's like being mad because you have to breathe or pee. It just is." Someone in Reddit

"If you do strange things, strange things will happen!"

"That's it! Now go make something beautiful." -Jake Parker

 

Link to post

Great goals. Looks like everything is well thought out.

 

I've got a sorta sleeping goal this challenge too -- it's getting up on time!

 

How did your first week go?

Sea Level

Vintage Sea-elf Assassin

Current Challenge: Sea Level I : Respawn
Pro Aris et Focis

"To the Sea, to the Sea! The white gulls are crying, The wind is blowing, and the white foam is flying."

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Great goals. Looks like everything is well thought out.

 

I've got a sorta sleeping goal this challenge too -- it's getting up on time!

 

How did your first week go?

Compliments! Thank you! :)

 

I have been in bed around ten, which is good, but I actually fall asleep only about 11.

So, I will get to bed 5 minutes earlier every week.

 

I need to really look for those RAKs.

 

Been walking a lot as a part of small fit things, let's see if that carries over from the holidays.

 

Not really paying attention to meditation, it slips. Need to find a reminder. Hmm...

 

I like the idea of doing bits and pieces of exercise here and there, but I don't have the willpower to do that aaaaaat all!! I think it would be too easy for me to skip. How's it going for you?

But that is the beauty of it - they are too easy to do.  Hey, there's the pull up bar -one, two, done. Waiting for the rice porridge to cook? Some push-ups and planks.

Bored? Commercial break? Small fit things it is!

 

3.3

Small fit things 2x2 pull ups, 1 min plank, 3x20 step ups, 1x20 leg raises, 2x10 push ups.

Random acts of kindness (from now on shortened as RAK)- No

Meditation - yes

 

4.3

Small fit things 5000 steps worth of walking

RAK - No

Meditation- yes

 

5.3

Small fit things 2x10 push-ups, two sets of leg raises (20 and 15), 2 pull ups, 7000 steps of walking

Decided to add careful streching to small fit things as well, because exercises without proper care seem to do to some annoying aches.

RAK - No

Meditation - partial, 1 minute

 

6.3

Small fit things 1x10 push ups, 2x30 sec side planks (1 left, 1 right), 1x30 sec knee hug-strech.

RAK - No

Meditation - no

 

7.3

Small fit things 1 minute plank, 1x10 push ups, 1x25 leg raises

RAK - No

Meditation - yes

"There is beauty in hardship / There are poems in grief" -Assemblage 23, Damaged

| STR:2.25 | DEX:2.25 | STA:2 | CON:1.25 | CHA:3.25 | WIS:7 | A place I will collect my woots - if I remember

Challenges | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |  6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 15.115.2 |

Milythaels'  HOoRAY for which I am grateful | Today, right now, I am alive. And that is good.

It is amazing the power of those small gestures of love and kindness have on our lives. <3 - Liberator

"I myself am made entirely of flaws, stiched together with good intentions." - Augusten Burroughs, Magical thinking:True stories

"Pick up the pieces and keep going, one painfully slow step at a time." Hiraedd the twice-risen, hamadryad. 

"Spread love and understanding. Use force if necessary." - Leon Trotsky

"Let me think about the people I care about the most, and when they fail or disappoint me, I still love them, I still give them chances, and I still see the best in them. Let me extend that generosity to myself." zefrank1, An Invocation for Beginnings

"I don't feel guilty for wanting. That's like being mad because you have to breathe or pee. It just is." Someone in Reddit

"If you do strange things, strange things will happen!"

"That's it! Now go make something beautiful." -Jake Parker

 

Link to post

Small fit things 3x25m swim, 1x10 push-ups

Meditation - yes

RAK - I caxuum cleaned most of the house

In bed before 10 - yes

"There is beauty in hardship / There are poems in grief" -Assemblage 23, Damaged

| STR:2.25 | DEX:2.25 | STA:2 | CON:1.25 | CHA:3.25 | WIS:7 | A place I will collect my woots - if I remember

Challenges | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |  6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 15.115.2 |

Milythaels'  HOoRAY for which I am grateful | Today, right now, I am alive. And that is good.

It is amazing the power of those small gestures of love and kindness have on our lives. <3 - Liberator

"I myself am made entirely of flaws, stiched together with good intentions." - Augusten Burroughs, Magical thinking:True stories

"Pick up the pieces and keep going, one painfully slow step at a time." Hiraedd the twice-risen, hamadryad. 

"Spread love and understanding. Use force if necessary." - Leon Trotsky

"Let me think about the people I care about the most, and when they fail or disappoint me, I still love them, I still give them chances, and I still see the best in them. Let me extend that generosity to myself." zefrank1, An Invocation for Beginnings

"I don't feel guilty for wanting. That's like being mad because you have to breathe or pee. It just is." Someone in Reddit

"If you do strange things, strange things will happen!"

"That's it! Now go make something beautiful." -Jake Parker

 

Link to post

Didn't write write anything up, can't remember between 10.9 and 13.9

 

14.9

Small fit things - 2xPull up, 1x10 push ups

Meditation - no

RAK - no

In bed before 10 - at ten o'clock, not good enough, as I fell asleep around 10.35.

 

15.9

Small fit things - 1x10 lunges, 1x8 lunges, 1x5 lunges (for each leg)

Meditation - no

RAK - no

In bed before 10 - no

 

16.9

Small fit things - Streched 2x30 second most of my major muscles - back, abs, hamstrings, calves and so on... Felt good.

Meditation - partial, one minute

RAK - no

In bed before 10 - at ten o'clock

 

17.9

Small fit things - 2x60 second plank, 1x50 second

Meditation - Yes!

RAK - no

In bed before 10 - maybe

"There is beauty in hardship / There are poems in grief" -Assemblage 23, Damaged

| STR:2.25 | DEX:2.25 | STA:2 | CON:1.25 | CHA:3.25 | WIS:7 | A place I will collect my woots - if I remember

Challenges | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |  6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 15.115.2 |

Milythaels'  HOoRAY for which I am grateful | Today, right now, I am alive. And that is good.

It is amazing the power of those small gestures of love and kindness have on our lives. <3 - Liberator

"I myself am made entirely of flaws, stiched together with good intentions." - Augusten Burroughs, Magical thinking:True stories

"Pick up the pieces and keep going, one painfully slow step at a time." Hiraedd the twice-risen, hamadryad. 

"Spread love and understanding. Use force if necessary." - Leon Trotsky

"Let me think about the people I care about the most, and when they fail or disappoint me, I still love them, I still give them chances, and I still see the best in them. Let me extend that generosity to myself." zefrank1, An Invocation for Beginnings

"I don't feel guilty for wanting. That's like being mad because you have to breathe or pee. It just is." Someone in Reddit

"If you do strange things, strange things will happen!"

"That's it! Now go make something beautiful." -Jake Parker

 

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