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I lost a lot of weight and I had an overweight aunt tell me that I lost too much and that I will disappear if I lose any more. I thought this was good advice, so I added 20 lbs of muscle. Now, she has nothing to complain about.

 

Anyway, just ignore these people. When someone makes a negative comment, I just say, "Don't worry, I'm not going to make you exercise if yo don't want to." Most get the hint and leave me alone.

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Like some others have already said, this doesn't just apply to fitness or healthy eating. People are often offended by the success of others, simply because they're reminded of their own failings. How often do you see someone persecuted at work for "Making us look bad" because they work hard and want to succeed, or a young girl being picked on at work by other women because she's dared to be "pretty".

It's the ugly side of human nature, and all you can do is either ignore it and rise above it, or call them on it, like El Exorcisto, and at least stop them doing it to your face.

 

You're right and it's sooooo ingrained in society in many ways. I'm sure many, many people on the boards can relate to being picked on in school for being smart or working hard. Group mentality doesn't seem to deal well with outliers.

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I find this topic extremely difficult. Since I had so many kinds of it I feel like there is in general too much body shaming going around. I don't get what's wrong with people that they feel entitled to judge someone elses body all the time. And that goes in both directions. I have a massive problem with people who fat-shame. If I hear someone complain about someone else's weight that's a clear sign of asshole to me and I usually decide that I better keep my distance.

Fit shaming usually comes less obvious and better disguised in my experience and I find it in general less hurtfull because it is fairly  obvious that it stems from jealousy.

 

But still this appropriation of how I look (both ways) is what makes me super-uncomfortable about discussing my body in RL. I'm a newbie here and just sorting out were I fit in, but at the moment I feel a bit like a sort of fitness secret agent. I don't tell people that I am working out. If someone asks about how I'm eating I just declare that it is what I feel like today, so that I don't have to discuss it.

 

In my environment there are fairly many health conscious people working but I find them also hard to deal with because they tend to put down overweight people and I don't feel like I am now a better person, because I am thinner. I am simply a healthier person, that's all. With fit shaming I hate it most when people pick on muscular women. Why the hell should all women look like twigs?  What's wrong with being able to do a decent pull-up (i would love to!)? I feel that here the crab comparison really applies here because acknowledging that women being weak is more a social construct than biological fact of course puts more responsibility on women to do stuff for themselves.

 

I dunno, it's one of the major reasons why people make me uncomfortable.

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I have not experienced fit-shaming, since I am only getting fit for the first time in my life now. I have, however, been very conscious of how uncomfortable many people, esp. women, feel around me. I have eaten well since shortly after I met my husband 17 years ago ( Though I recently started going paleo and I feel GREAT!). We have food allergies, and also have other foods we choose not to eat. I am one of those people who has a naturally thin body style and has never had to work hard to stay that way. I learned a long time ago to never say anything about my lack of fitness, because the response was usually an uncomfortable look or rolled eyes and, "but you are already so thin! You don't need to exercise more." Our food choices also made people uncomfortable, to the point that I claimed I had a dairy allergy for years to avoid the issue.

I wish there was less emphasis on appearance overall in our culture, but I doubt it will go away soon.

Recently, I have been going through the work of Brene Brown on shame and authenticity. It has helped me not only begin to accept myself as I am ("good" and "bad"), but also to ignore some of the critics. I still have a hard time putting myself out there if I think it will make others uncomfortable, though. It is one of the things I really like about the NF community- I have only seen acceptance and encouragement so far. It is amazing!

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Anyone with any experience with the opposite though? Back in college my peers accepted that I take fitness very seriously. I would have 3-hour breaks in-between classes and would spend those doing intervals by the river. I also ate tuna and rice every day for four years, not because I had to, but because I liked tuna and rice. Eventually it gets contagious. A lot of people want to be in better shape, most of them just don't know what to do or don't want to look stupid. I was already looking stupid for them, so eventually there were more people in my school eating tuna for lunch and running during breaks. Same thing happens in my house. And though it would be enough motivation to fuel a montage, hardly anyone ever makes a commitment to a lifestyle change.

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Anyone with any experience with the opposite though?

 

Only a bit. Once a woman waited to catch me allone in the elevator and asked me how I'd lost so much weight. Usually I really don't want to talk about this kind of stuff, but since she was clearly struggling with it herself, I didn't want to put her off, so I told her. She seemed dissappointed though that it wasn't some magic cure or something. I don't know if she read up on it or gave it a try.

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Anyone with any experience with the opposite though?.....

.....hardly anyone ever makes a commitment to a lifestyle change.

Yeah :(

A few people at work have tried losing weight after seeing how much I've lost but like you said... It never manages to become a permanent change, just an attempt to shed a few pounds.

I thought I'd convinced one woman to ditch the starvation diet and eat properly, but despite telling me that she felt great, had more energy, and was full all the time, she went back to eating feck-all again when she "only" lost 2kg (4.5lbs) in 6 weeks. :hopelessness:

I have however had success with getting my mum to go to the gym. It's so funny that now she phones me up to say "I've just done a XXXkg deadlift!" Instead of the other way around. It's too soon to say whether it'll stick though...

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Yeah :(

A few people at work have tried losing weight after seeing how much I've lost but like you said... It never manages to become a permanent change, just an attempt to shed a few pounds.

I thought I'd convinced one woman to ditch the starvation diet and eat properly, but despite telling me that she felt great, had more energy, and was full all the time, she went back to eating feck-all again when she "only" lost 2kg (4.5lbs) in 6 weeks. :hopelessness:

I have however had success with getting my mum to go to the gym. It's so funny that now she phones me up to say "I've just done a XXXkg deadlift!" Instead of the other way around. It's too soon to say whether it'll stick though...

 

Haha. The metric system.

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Anyone with any experience with the opposite though? Back in college my peers accepted that I take fitness very seriously. I would have 3-hour breaks in-between classes and would spend those doing intervals by the river. I also ate tuna and rice every day for four years, not because I had to, but because I liked tuna and rice. Eventually it gets contagious. A lot of people want to be in better shape, most of them just don't know what to do or don't want to look stupid. I was already looking stupid for them, so eventually there were more people in my school eating tuna for lunch and running during breaks. Same thing happens in my house. And though it would be enough motivation to fuel a montage, hardly anyone ever makes a commitment to a lifestyle change.

 

Yes, I've had experience with the opposite. I've been getting a lot of fit-shaming from my family, but I have seem the opposite effect in my social group. While my family is constantly tearing me apart for my workouts and my eating habits, I have friends asking questions. Three of those friends now to to yoga with me twice a week. Another has just asked me to help him get started lifting. I think it really, really depends on the kind of people that you keep around you. I have highly negative family members so I tend to surround myself with very positive people. I'm slowly winning some of my family over, however. The best thing really is leading by example!

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I don't get any fit shaming for my exercise routines.  People generally are amazed and supportive over what I can accomplish now.  However, I get constant flak for my dietary choices.  As a vegan, people act almost threatened by me, as if they're afraid I'm trying to pull the steak out of their mouths.

 

I get constant comments and semi-insults about it.  I very rarely use the "v-word" as a result.  I tell people I have a plant-based diet, and the usual response is "Cool!"

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I have however had success with getting my mum to go to the gym. It's so funny that now she phones me up to say "I've just done a XXXkg deadlift!" Instead of the other way around. It's too soon to say whether it'll stick though...

 

My wife and I signed up for a new gym about 2 months ago. I wanted a place to lift, and she wanted a place to do cardio. She always used to roll her eyes in the car on the way home when I would be excited about adding 5 pounds onto a lift. A few weeks ago, she told me she wanted to start weight training, so I got her on a program similar to mine.

 

A week ago, she called me from the gym to excitedly tell me how she just upped her 1RM to 50lbs on the bench press. So I told her:

 

"When we die, our bodies become the grass, and the antelope eat the grass. And so we are all connected in the great Circle of Life." —Mufasa"

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As a vegan, people act almost threatened by me, as if they're afraid I'm trying to pull the steak out of their mouths.

I get constant comments and semi-insults about it.

Not cool. It's amazing* how people feel "entitled" to comment on other peoples choices like that.

*actually I think the word I'm really looking for here is "disgusting".

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Haha. The metric system.

Us Brits have never really embraced it though... Height is still feet & inches, carpet is measured in sq yards, your weight in stones, your steak in ounces, but for some reason everything in the gym is kilos. :(

I've only ever worked with weights in kilos so I have no comparisons. It's a bitch having to do the conversion in your head every time someone posts a weight in pounds. *grumble grumble grumble*

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I don't get any fit shaming for my exercise routines.  People generally are amazed and supportive over what I can accomplish now.  However, I get constant flak for my dietary choices.  As a vegan, people act almost threatened by me, as if they're afraid I'm trying to pull the steak out of their mouths.

 

I get constant comments and semi-insults about it.  I very rarely use the "v-word" as a result.  I tell people I have a plant-based diet, and the usual response is "Cool!"

 

Yeah, people sometimes really feel threatened by vegans, like they are afraid they want to take away their meat or something...

 

I really don't get why people can't stay out of each others eating habits and body image. I mean I get if people are seriously worried about friends developing an ED, but otherwise...

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What I've gotten the most isn't fit shaming I'm not sure what it is but when during a conversation someone mentions they want to loose weight or exercise more or start eating healthy I usually tried to lend some advice from my experiences but it very often backfires on me and turns into an attack on everything I recommend right down to 'why would anyone want to do that/ eat like that?' and I'm left sitting there with a stupid look on my face thinking 'but you just said you wanted to start doing something like that'.

 

Then there is the two sided coin that is my mother who is kind of 50-50 about my health habits. She thanks me for motivating her into exercising and for all the relevant advice I might give as well as any insight's I offer about what I learn about food. But then I try something new like crossfit it turns into why would you do that its too much and dangerous and the most recent being I got a vegan cook book to help add some new healthy recipies to my repertoire with no intent of actually going vegan but the second I mentioned the book I just got 'Oh God don't go vegan'

 

I just cant win.

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I don't get any fit shaming for my exercise routines.  People generally are amazed and supportive over what I can accomplish now.  However, I get constant flak for my dietary choices.  As a vegan, people act almost threatened by me, as if they're afraid I'm trying to pull the steak out of their mouths.

 

I get constant comments and semi-insults about it.  I very rarely use the "v-word" as a result.  I tell people I have a plant-based diet, and the usual response is "Cool!"

 

I would suggest that vegan has almost become a dirty word to some people. All it takes is knowing one person who is vegan who is preachy about their diet, or fits into some majorly negative stereotype, and thats it, 'all vegans' are that way. I would guess that, with the internet and social media, simply hearing stories about someone like that could be sufficient to start view off.

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I would suggest that vegan has almost become a dirty word to some people. All it takes is knowing one person who is vegan who is preachy about their diet, or fits into some majorly negative stereotype, and thats it, 'all vegans' are that way. I would guess that, with the internet and social media, simply hearing stories about someone like that could be sufficient to start view off.

 

People in general loathe fanatacism. Look at the majority view of veganism, vegetarianism, paleo, and Crossfit in the diet/fitness world. Go a step farther  out and watch for the rolling eyes if you strike up a conversation on an armed citzenry or the benefits of homeschooling your children. I learned long ago that if you don't want to be judged for your choices, right or wrong, it's best not to advertise them to the masses. To do so labels you a fanatic.

 

When you walk around as a billboard for having zero excuses and giving zero fucks about the fatties' judgement, you are labelled a fanatic without opening your mouth. When comments are made, the only real choice you have is to kindly inform them that they should kindly fuck off.

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People in general loathe fanatacism. Look at the majority view of veganism, vegetarianism, paleo, and Crossfit in the diet/fitness world. Go a step farther  out and watch for the rolling eyes if you strike up a conversation on an armed citzenry or the benefits of homeschooling your children. I learned long ago that if you don't want to be judged for your choices, right or wrong, it's best not to advertise them to the masses. To do so labels you a fanatic.

 

When you walk around as a billboard for having zero excuses and giving zero fucks about the fatties' judgement, you are labelled a fanatic without opening your mouth. When comments are made, the only real choice you have is to kindly inform them that they should kindly fuck off.

 

Eh, I find that people who don't talk about things unless asked rarely get labeled.  It's the folks that push their views - or even if they don't push them immediately, come across as "THIS IS THE ONE TRUE WAY" when asked that generally end up creating this image.  Usually it's a (sometimes misinformed) vocal minority of said group that creates the impression of the overall group, fairly or unfairly.  I once met a girl who walked up to me and informed me that she'd like to date me, but on the condition that I converted to veganism.  I respect that people are vegetarian/vegan for a variety of reasons, but that is NOT the way to convince someone of your views.

 

In general if people aren't pushing their views unreasonably - and if they express their view intelligently/non-judgmentally when asked they'll get respect from most.  Sure there are still a few "crabs" that may notice - but they're dealt with easily enough.

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In general if people aren't pushing their views unreasonably - and if they express their view intelligently/non-judgmentally when asked they'll get respect from most.  Sure there are still a few "crabs" that may notice - but they're dealt with easily enough.

That may well be true, maybe most people don't judge you, but you don't really notice a lack of response.  Though the ones who do try to bring you down might well be in the minority, they make up for it by being very vocal about it.  I don't push my views on diet or exercise on anyone around me, just answer honestly if someone asks, but even then I occasionally get the "Oh I couldn't do that" or "It's ok for you to say that" responses. *sigh*

 

 

...the only real choice you have is to kindly inform them that they should kindly fuck off.

I soooo wish I could do this. I'm just too polite. :(

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