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Eh, I find that people who don't talk about things unless asked rarely get labeled.  It's the folks that push their views - or even if they don't push them immediately, come across as "THIS IS THE ONE TRUE WAY" when asked that generally end up creating this image.  Usually it's a (sometimes misinformed) vocal minority of said group that creates the impression of the overall group, fairly or unfairly.  I once met a girl who walked up to me and informed me that she'd like to date me, but on the condition that I converted to veganism.  I respect that people are vegetarian/vegan for a variety of reasons, but that is NOT the way to convince someone of your views.

 

In general if people aren't pushing their views unreasonably - and if they express their view intelligently/non-judgmentally when asked they'll get respect from most.  Sure there are still a few "crabs" that may notice - but they're dealt with easily enough.

 

That hasn't been my experience at all. Level-headed conversation about nearly anything besides the most mundane degenerates into very vocal disagreement or even worse, accusation and name-calling. I'm very big on personal accountability and self reliance, much more so than the average folk. My thoughts that everyone should wipe their own ass in every conceivable way makes me about the least cool guy in the room.

 

If I try to bail on a conversation that's going in a direction I don't like then I'm an asshole. If I take it to the logical conclusion then I am an extremist, or have an eating disorder, or body dysmorphia, etc... I find the crabs to far outnumber the intelligent and reasonable.

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What I hate most is when people ask me: "So you are still on your diet?"

 

It's not a diet. It's a change in lifestyle dammit.

That was a surprisingly LONG conversation I had with my kids the other night.  Even at their young age, they knew that a "diet" was what you did for a couple weeks because you're fat.  I had to explain that "your diet" is "what you do".  

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Us Brits have never really embraced it though... Height is still feet & inches, carpet is measured in sq yards, your weight in stones, your steak in ounces, but for some reason everything in the gym is kilos. :(

I've only ever worked with weights in kilos so I have no comparisons. It's a bitch having to do the conversion in your head every time someone posts a weight in pounds. *grumble grumble grumble*

 

Yeah, the Olympic bumper plates mess with my weight calculations.

 

People in general loathe fanatacism. Look at the majority view of veganism, vegetarianism, paleo, and Crossfit in the diet/fitness world. Go a step farther  out and watch for the rolling eyes if you strike up a conversation on an armed citzenry or the benefits of homeschooling your children. I learned long ago that if you don't want to be judged for your choices, right or wrong, it's best not to advertise them to the masses. To do so labels you a fanatic.

 

When you walk around as a billboard for having zero excuses and giving zero fucks about the fatties' judgement, you are labelled a fanatic without opening your mouth. When comments are made, the only real choice you have is to kindly inform them that they should kindly fuck off.

 

tumblr_inline_mnvxyz5vv51qz4rgp.jpg

 

Perhaps that's why guys can't seem to take "no" for an answer. (I'm talking about sex, of course.)

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I feel awful on this.  My three aunts, uncle, and brother have all recently gone through kind of the first rigors of various fitness plans and dealing with an unhealthy weight.  Unfortunately, my mother has a very serious thyroid condition.  She is (as i understand it) medically unable to lose fat/weight easily.  Ie, what would cause a normal person to lose 2-3 lbs in a week will cause her to lose a tenth of that.  I have no idea what its called, but its made everything rather difficult.

 

She won't speak to her brother or his wife (both had very successful, and since reversed lap band surgeries and kept the weight off), has constant fights with one of her sisters here (she went all natural, walking and healthy eating), and she's glad her other sister "lives all the way up on Wisconsin" (She went the weight watchers route very successfully).  And with me recently starting with this site and lifting myself into an injury, i've had to endure so many 'your stupid ass needs to stop excersizing' (complicated by my infamous 'love' for getting Rhabdo) so i don't "make it worse."  While true, a lot of this is said with a particular level of hate and scorn that i can't even begin to describe without wanting to huck a brick through a window.

 

Its actually gotten so bad that I outright told her "Look, until you get this crap under control? I don't want to talk to you, so don't call me." about two weeks ago.  I couldnt' take being made to feel bad for doing something that was good for me.

...I feel a little better now.  /vent.

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I'm going slightly off topic here, but it's close enough that this seemed like the place to post...

I've joined in on the challenge this time, and I've made dropping my bf% my goal. To do this, I've gone on a "cut", dropping my calorie intake sharply for 4 weeks while continuing to train.

Here's the thing though. There's another name for doing that, isn't there? I'm quite happy with calling it a "cut" because that's ok, that's bodybuilding talk, that's cool. But there's a better known term for it....

Crash diet.

I don't like that term though. It sounds like something "silly" women do to try and get into a size 10 dress for their sister's wedding or something. And that doesn't sit well with me. "No no no! I'm not one of those!" I cry. I daren't tell anyone IRL that I'm doing it either. I was logging my food for a fortnight to find what my maintenance kcal intake was and you should have seen the scorn that was levelled at me by some of my friends at the gym when they thought I was "counting calories."

We have a real culture of putting fitness above physical appearance at our gym, but is wanting to look good really that evil?

For me, fitness comes first, and has done for over two years, but right now I can't progress my fitness very much until I complete another round of physiotherapy, and I've got a holiday coming up so why not focus on aesthetics in the short term.

I find it interesting how I have come to be in a situation where I'm actually embarrassed to admit that I'm going "on a diet" to the point of only referring to it as a "cut". As if that somehow changes the dynamics of it, lol!

Anyone else have any experience of this?

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They are pretty close to the same thing alright. I think they do have some differences though that keep them separate.

Your mind set in doing it being a pretty big one. After all you're still working on fitness and over all health while eating healthy food. Your just at a point where you're eating a bit less to drop some body fat. Which loosing will help your health.

Then there's the fact that you don't plan on giving up being healthy once you reach your goal. You still plan on continuing to improve which a crash dieter doesn't they go back to their bad habits once they reach there goals.

Then one last difference I see is cutting is part of a cycle of bulking and cutting and really your doing to get back to where you were before you bulked. If aesthetics are a motivation though then you just start the cycle with a cut to have an idea of where to aim with your next ones. Where a crash diet is a cycle of being unhealthy and doing a much more extreme crash than we're looking at to try balance being unhealthy.

Pretty different to me anyway. But that's just to help you see the light there because I would die before I told people I was on a diet :o

Sent from my nokia 3210

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If the topic comes up, I'm calling it a cut, even though I'm starting out and haven't 'bulked' yet. If anyone goes 'ooh are you dieting?' or something I shrug it off and say I'm 'going more a bodybuilding kind of route'', which is true but also sounds like a totally different thing than 'dieting' or 'seeking a bikini body' or whatever. I then play up the angle of "I'm going to eat ALL THIS CHICKEN!"

 

Actually I read Waldo's article on the same topic the other day which I found helpful:

http://strengthunbound.com/losing-weight-vs-cutting/

 

I found it helpful to think of weight loss/cutting in terms of a short-term activity with an end and a goal in sight, so I kind of describe or talk about it in that way. "Biscuit? No thanks, I'm kinda overdosing on protein right now" or "Not today, but in a couple of weeks I'm increasing my intake."

 

Ultimately though I avoid the topic entirely   /coward.

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When I think of the term "crash diet", I think of a severe calorie restriction, followed by a return to normal bad habits - like eating 500 calories worth of cabbage soup per day. But I assume you're going for a reasonable 500-1000 calorie deficit?

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1000kcal deficit, bringing it to 1300kcal, for 4 weeks, then upping to probably 1500kcal if I still feel that I can keep going.

I'm not worried about any aspect of this... I'm happy with my decision, and I know that I will return to heathy eating at the end of it, without any problems.

It's the whole stigma that is attached to "dieting" within a certain section of the fitness culture that I wanted to highlight. I am genuinely embarrassed to admit to people that I'm doing this.

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When I think of the term "crash diet", I think of a severe calorie restriction, followed by a return to normal bad habits - like eating 500 calories worth of cabbage soup per day. But I assume you're going for a reasonable 500-1000 calorie deficit?

This exactly.

 

Crash diet: ridiculously low calories for a very short period of time without an accompanying lifestyle change.

 

Cut: reasonable, well-planned period of calorie restriction in order to lose fat as part of an organized plan for weight management.

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I feel extremely lucky that, for the most part, I have supportive friends, family and co-workers on my fitness journey.  However, I have a grandmother and an aunt who might make comments about me wasting away, if I saw them more often - which I'm not.  I'm still well entrenched in the "pudgy" side of things.  Sometimes I get the, "Oh, you've been good, you can have a bigger piece of cake".

 

I have a couple of former friends who might poo-poo about me getting healthy, but that attitude is just one of the reasons why we are no longer friends.

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I'm a little shocked to be honest.  I went from about 314 to 236 in two years and EVERYONE was supportive and super nice.  Co-workers, family, friends, strangers at the gyms I visited as I travelled for work.  Some friends and co-workers even got on board with it and came running and/or hiking with me in order to get themselves in shape, people asked for recipes, etc...

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I catch mild forms of this at work.  There is one in particular who eye rolls when I turn down cake (there is ALWAYS cake) and then there are a few that are very supportive.  I sometimes get it from close family too.  They bring cookies and donuts and such as a gift and tell me I need to live a little.  What they don't get (even after I've explained it all), is that it's not really about thin.  It's about healthy and when I eat a lot of wheat flour, dairy, or sugar I get sick.  My body does not tolerate it well and my acne flares up and basically I feel gross after eating junk.  My family members have these same symptoms and they prefer to complain about it and go see a bazillion doctors instead of changing their lifestyle.  I have not been on this journey long, so I am definitely not the picture of fitness, but I am better than I was when I began. 

 

Haters gonna hate, because they do not like their little world of excuses challenged.  That goes for all choices that are not part of the mainstream.  The surest way to be ostracized from a group is to think for yourself, especially if that thinking leads to leveling up in life.  I choose to tune out the negativity but stay open in case they have a change of heart and end up needing some support.  Don't worry about what others think because you are making the best choices for you.  Keep moving forward toward your goals!

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If they're genuinely not interested in my advice, I don't offer it.

If they really believe it's all youth and genetics, I let them.

If they ask why I do something, it's because I like it.

If they ask for advice they won't take, I fob them off.

If they ask for advice they will take, I get serious.

 

Even reached a point where when the MIL asked why I wasn't having gravy today (sugar and wheat cutback), I said I didn't fancy it. When my "fad diets" and "sometimes eating things but then refusing them for a day" was brought up I smiled. When she mentioned a candy I am weaning myself back off, I pretended I was gorging on it and couldn't help myself. She doesn't want my advice. Love MadPict though I may, she's just another human who wants to be as weak as she can justify being.

 

Given up on humanity in general. If they want to be shitty, let 'em be shitty. Listen to their excuses, put them on the spot, drive them into logic loops and laugh. The dedicated and powerful will inherit the Earth.

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