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SuNoYo

SuNoYo Gets Down to Business

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Let's Get Down to Business

To Defeat the Huns!

 

 

As swift as the coursing river

With all the force of a great typhoon

With all the strength of a raging fire

Mysterious as the dark side of the moon

 

Previous challenge.

 

Because we might as well get the stereotypical theme out of the way next. Last time it was cats (ze arrrees-toe-cats), this time it's Mulan. Everyone loves Mulan! Or at least Mulan. But what's not to love?! (Aside from some cultural stereotyping and some mildly cringeworthy attempts to replicate the Genie ad nauseum) A classic bildungsroman (coming of age story) with familial devotion taking precedence over all other relationships, cross-dressing, defying gender expectations, that damn song, crushing physical/mental plateaus with style, using wit, agility and dexterity to compensate for pure physical strength . . . the scenes on the mountain, the climax, the scene under the cherry tree. And the artwork is so good. 

Mulan is not my favourite Disney film, but it's in my top five depending on what you count as a Disney film.

Mulan was my first major crush, not my first - that was either Maleficent or Pocahontas - but Mulan was a constant source of admiration for me from the moment I first saw an advert for it on . . . I want to say telly, but it might have been on a VHS. It was spoileriffic mind, I mean the advert had the "You have saved us all," speech playing over the footage, but oh the moment I saw that I had to get it. And come Christmas 1999 I was a very happy eight-year-old.

Mulan means a lot to me, let's see if I can do it, and her, justice.

 

Who is that girl I see, staring straight, back at me? (Reflection)

 

When will my reflection show

Who I am inside?

 

So sometimes I suffer massive hits of gender dysphoria, body dysphoria, and really just general dysphoria, anxiety and depression. My mind says one thing, my body another; familial/social/cultural pressures/ideas say one thing, my mind says another, and then my body chimes in too. I've never really 'done' labels, they confuse me actually, and I've dabbled trying to see if something 'fits', nothing really does, and I'm fine with that; SuNoYo is SuNoYo, and there will never be another.

But she would just like it very much if all parts of her could be in accord for once. Not agreeance per se, but accord. An understanding based on mutual feelings underpinned with a firm knowledge that no matter how Su, No and Yo may differ SuNoYo is herself.

While eighty odd minutes and a montage song did it for Mulan, that won't work for me (alas), but I can definitely strive towards feeling completely confident and comfortable in myself.

To this end I will:

 

 - meditate daily for at least half an hour in one sitting and do my sleep meditation. I've been slack on that recently, and I've been feeling more discomfitted in general since letting my sleep meditation slip. If one is done and not the other that counts as a half point for the day. To be graded out of 42.

 - I take part in the PvS HOoRAY and LYBaYF threads, they help. I still don't like looking in the mirror very much and I sometimes struggle to find things to mention that are good about myself. Even some of my posts contain enough self-deprecation that, looking back on it, I feel like I'm slyly insulting myself. So I will look in a mirror. I will say the things I post in HOoRAY and LYBaYF to myself. I will look myself in the eyes especially when wearing my glasses, I won't skim the area, I will look in my eyes and just remember everything good and positive in my life. I will then post a reflection (hahaha) of these little sessions in this thread. To be graded out of 42.

 - I feel like I have no practical worth as a person, be it as an employee, a family member, and sometimes as a friend. Sometimes it's all I can do to get out of bed because I feel so useless. But I went to a good uni, am told I am useful, have skills and things that others consider useful/helpful/good. So every day I will literally do a Skill Check. This is my skill, how can I use it to be and feel better in any capacity I could be needed in. To be graded out of 42

 

+2 CHA, +2 WIS

 

Self-esteem challenge: this challenge is all about the self-esteem, so I'm not going to be awarding any points unless something exceptional pops up i.e. getting a job.

 

With all the force a great typhoon, with all the strength of a raging fire

 

Can't really fit the lyrics here

I've written them twice before~

Just know that it's a quest

of Awesome

To improve~ my martial arts

(hoo-ah!)

 

God, bet that didn't fit at all. I started Kung Fu two weeks after after having attended T'ai Chi (or taiji, whichever) since January, it's awesome. But I tripped over a few things, even in the warm up. The worst part is that I was feeling pretty awesome about my progress in T'ai Chi and touching people and things, but then last week the instructor wanted to take me down. Slowly. Onto the floor. From behind. I locked up to the point where she caused me knee pain and made her feel horribly guilty and it kind of ruined the rest of Kung Fu and my T'ai Chi after that.

It seems I have hit a plateau or two. Thus:

 

 - I honestly can't do the pull ups or chin ups in the ABBW because if I did the table would actually tip over - I tried. But I'm going to do three full circuits of the ABBW by the end of this challenge. I would appreciate some suggestions for other ways to do the inverted bodyweight rows at home. And four times a week. To be graded out of 24.

 - Foot flows! Or patterns. Whatever you want to call them. They're a bit tricky and need to be practised. As do the kicks. Four times a week, including class. Call it general pattern and balance practice. To be graded out of 24. (And keep on practising T'ai Chi as well)

 - Strength training. What with my hand playing up I wasn't able to do it regularly. I did it twice. Once a week minimum. Why does this go here? Aside from fitting the montage song it ties in with something below . . . To be graded out of 6.

 - (but not this) Try to practice falling/lowering self to the floor at home. I want to find out why it made me outright regress last week, so that will take some introspection too. By the end of this challenge I want to be able to take a throw (slowly).

 

+2 STR, +2 DEX, + 1STA

 

Self-esteem challenges:

 - PISTOL SQUATS. You can already do a (wobbly) set of nine single-legged squats, let's get to pistol squats. And lookie lookie, Assassins are doing a six week skill challenge about pistol squats. :playful:

 - T'ai Chi day course is next week. GO. I've had this down for my last challenge, but I got the dates mixed up. I'm kind of freaking out about it and trying to back out now. This will doubley make me go. Unless I'm ill.

 

Diet (I don't really have a Mulan reference that isn't mildly insulting when it comes to food)

 

Food, glorious food

Wonderful food

Marvellous food

Glorious food!

 

I alluded to some problems above? So I'm probably a good twenty-five pounds overweight and that makes some of the warm up exercises in Kung Fu difficult.Specifically leg raise related things (scissor kicks? I think) and . . . bicycling is it? But 'up' to the ceiling. I recognise this has to do with core and balancing muscles as well, but that'll get mentioned too. The belly fat compresses and because of the position it also puts pressure-pain on my boobs. Also I lose my balance a lot.

 

 - Cut out all but two snacks a week unless said snacks happen to be nuts or fruit, in which case, only five snacks a week. Hopefully to be reduced to three a week by the end of the challenge. Say goodbye to your shop-bought smoothies and occasional chocolate milk (they were half price!) girl.

 - Go as gluten-free as possible when you're not the one buying the groceries. This will mean buying certain staples gluten-free and just not eating gluten-y things if they're not part of a main meal. MAIN MEAL meaning dinner.

 - One new recipe a week. I want to try lemon pepper chicken karaage. It sounds delicious. Maybe with caulirice. Extra points if it's a gluten-free or Paeleo recipe, but not obligatory. To be graded out of six.

 

Self-esteem challenges:

 - make a little box or area of goodies, ingredients and cookery related things just for me.

 - cook a Sunday roast.

 - cook for more than just me.

 

+2 CON, +1 WIS

 

Life Quest: Defeat the Huns and save China with nothing but a cannon, a massive mountain, a fan and a mini-dragon and a horse

 

Oh wait, no mountain. Curses. And I'd rather eat a horse than ride one. I know this from experience.

 

Life Quest: Crossdress!

 

Maybe later.

 

Life Quest: "The greatest gift and honour is having you for a daughter"

 

Sometimes it's like all they ever say is that I'm lazy or that I need a job or that I need to pull my weight and things like that. I know I was an accident. I know that if I hadn't been born my parents wouldn't have married. I know that TKD Brother is my mum's favourite. These are all facts. I've heard often enough that if it hadn't been for me and then the younger siblings Mum would have just run ages ago. Dad works two weeks at a time. I know that I'm not the best daughter, or the best sibling, that I could do more. My parents are the ones who confide in me, but I don't really have anyone to do that with.

I didn't even want to post this, but aside from That Damn Song, this line is what kept coming back to me when I wanted to do a Mulan themed challenge. I shouldn't feel like this, but I know I do, I don't think I should even be writing this online for people to read, and that sometimes it feels like my parents haven't been proud of me since I was accepted into university. Once Mum even hinted that the only thing that would make her proud or happy would be for her to get grandchildren. I might adopt later, but childbirth and sex is disgusting. She doesn't understand that; 'it's just a phase' according to her. And yeah, it might actually be, I've never even kissed someone, and I don't really feel sexual urges and things, but maybe one day I will. Even then it's not a 'phase', but it's late and I can't be bothered thinking up terminology when it's me involved and no one else.

 

 - Do something to make the family proud of me; I don't know what yet.

 - Explain to them that they hurt me sometimes

 - Improve my relationships with people in general

 

Pass/fail

 

+1 WIS, +1 CHA, +1 ??? depending on how I make them proud.

 

 . . .

Well, that was a depressing end to a challenge OP wasn't it?

 

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Much respect for the courage it takes to post details that personal online.  I hope this challenge helps you see how wonderful you are and that you can explain to your family how they hurt you and get them to stop.

 

Not everyone has a table that can stand up to incline pullups :-) 

 

When you get back to working on taking a throw, work on it with someone whose skill level you completely trust.  It helps, honestly.  Do you have mats to work at home?

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So sometimes I suffer massive hits of gender dysphoria, body dysphoria, and really just general dysphoria, anxiety and depression. My mind says one thing, my body another; familial/social/cultural pressures/ideas say one thing, my mind says another, and then my body chimes in too. I've never really 'done' labels, they confuse me actually, and I've dabbled trying to see if something 'fits', nothing really does, and I'm fine with that; SuNoYo is SuNoYo, and there will never be another.

But she would just like it very much if all parts of her could be in accord for once. Not agreeance per se, but accord. An understanding based on mutual feelings underpinned with a firm knowledge that no matter how Su, No and Yo may differ SuNoYo is herself.

:( Dysphoria sucks. Depression and anxiety suck. I go back and forth on labels. There's a sense of relief for "oh! other people feel this way too?" but then they can be restrictive. I like them as starting points and tools for discussion, as well as using them to find others who may share my experiences.

Have you written elsewhere about the meaning of your username? If not, may I ask what the Su No and Yo represent?

 

- I honestly can't do the pull ups or chin ups in the ABBW because if I did the table would actually tip over - I tried. But I'm going to do three full circuits of the ABBW by the end of this challenge. I would appreciate some suggestions for other ways to do the inverted bodyweight rows at home.

I noticed that I have to make sure I'm slightly under the table so that I'm pulling towards the centre of the table. Helpful illustration that I just spent way too long on:

 

pullups_zps8cd865fd.jpg

 

Life Quest: Crossdress!

 

Maybe later.

Please post pics if you're comfortable when you do! :D

 

Life Quest: "The greatest gift and honour is having you for a daughter"

 

Sometimes it's like all they ever say is that I'm lazy or that I need a job or that I need to pull my weight and things like that. I know I was an accident. I know that if I hadn't been born my parents wouldn't have married. I know that TKD Brother is my mum's favourite. These are all facts. I've heard often enough that if it hadn't been for me and then the younger siblings Mum would have just run ages ago. Dad works two weeks at a time. I know that I'm not the best daughter, or the best sibling, that I could do more. My parents are the ones who confide in me, but I don't really have anyone to do that with.

I didn't even want to post this, but aside from That Damn Song, this line is what kept coming back to me when I wanted to do a Mulan themed challenge. I shouldn't feel like this, but I know I do, I don't think I should even be writing this online for people to read, and that sometimes it feels like my parents haven't been proud of me since I was accepted into university. Once Mum even hinted that the only thing that would make her proud or happy would be for her to get grandchildren. I might adopt later, but childbirth and sex is disgusting. She doesn't understand that; 'it's just a phase' according to her. And yeah, it might actually be, I've never even kissed someone, and I don't really feel sexual urges and things, but maybe one day I will. Even then it's not a 'phase', but it's late and I can't be bothered thinking up terminology when it's me involved and no one else.

 

 - Do something to make the family proud of me; I don't know what yet.

 - Explain to them that they hurt me sometimes

 - Improve my relationships with people in general

You're seriously making me cry over here. That's so unfair of your parents to put that all on you. Here's another fact: telling your kids stuff like this is awful. It's bad parenting for one thing, and it's awful to do that to another human being. I understand the desire to want to make your parents and family proud, but from what you've written, they don't deserve it. You deserve so much better than what you've got. I know you didn't ask for opinions or inputs or advice here, so I'm sorry for sticking my nose in if it's not wanted. You want to improve your relationship with them? They're the ones who should be trying their damnedest to apologise to you and improve their relationship with you. You are not the one at fault here.

The word you may be looking for is asexual by the way. Nothing wrong with it, and it doesn't have to be a phase. I know and love some asexual people and they're pretty awesome human beings.

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Aw, geez. I didn't know that things were so rough for you in your life. I mean, I remember you mentioning some stuff, but never like this. I'm sorry that things are so bad.

 

So, the temptation is for me to be all patronizing and say, "no, no, there, there, everything's gonna be all right," but I don't think you'd either buy it or appreciate it. Instead, let me say that we'll walk with you here as much as we can. Take this challenge a day at a time. These goals are worth accomplishing.

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Damn that's rough.  That's rough AND you now have That Damned Song stuck in everyone's head.  Double rough.

 

Seriously though, I know how hard it is to write anything down for self reflection, let alone on a public forum.  Good for you - it really can help relieve an enormous amount of tension in your system that you didn't know was there.  These are all amazing challenge goals that even if you don't get them nailed down 100% in the next few weeks can be honed further in the next challenge (or several).  Life's rough, but at least you picked a damned good guild to confide in... (Yes, I'm gloating for our guild.  No, I have no shame.)

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/bow

 

You are a brave person.  Hang in there, and make yourself proud to be you. 

 

As for inverted rows at home: 

 

 

Thanks for the link, I'm pretty sure I've got some excess spare cloth somewhere around that can stand up to a little bit of abuse.

I'll keep working on the pride thing, some days are better than others, but I'm sure everyone's like that.

 

Much respect for the courage it takes to post details that personal online.  I hope this challenge helps you see how wonderful you are and that you can explain to your family how they hurt you and get them to stop.

 

It'll probably get a little more personal before the challenge ends. And I know that they usually don't mean it (autistic sibling aside), it's more like unthinking bluntness, a bit of advantage taking (they confide in me) and silly things like that. I'm not playing down what they do, sometimes it really hurts and I want to cry, sometimes I can shrug it off. I honestly don't think they know they're doing it half the time, and knowing that Mum came from an abusive family (they laugh about it, but even understanding it was the '60s and child abuse didn't really 'exist' some of the things . . . ) means I give them maybe a little too much leeway I think.

 

Not everyone has a table that can stand up to incline pullups :-)

When you get back to working on taking a throw, work on it with someone whose skill level you completely trust. It helps, honestly. Do you have mats to work at home?

 

Not everyone has a table that can stand up to incline pull ups and doesn't have a dog mostly permanently living under or next to the table. :-)

 

The Kung Fu class is pretty small, and I do mostly trust the instructor, but when someone's basically kicking one of your legs out from under you and pulling and pushing you down to the floor you'd probably lock up too, right? No mats at home, I'm working with a comforter folded in half over a wooden floor. In a small space. But the makeshift mat is roughly a quarter of an inch thick, so it should be okay. *fingers crossed*

 

:( Dysphoria sucks. Depression and anxiety suck. I go back and forth on labels. There's a sense of relief for "oh! other people feel this way too?" but then they can be restrictive. I like them as starting points and tools for discussion, as well as using them to find others who may share my experiences.

Have you written elsewhere about the meaning of your username? If not, may I ask what the Su No and Yo represent?

 

Sexual characteristics man, why have them? Yes, yes they do, particularly if it's social anxiety because then it's hard to make friends. Labels are strange, but yeah, starting points and discussion topics are pretty good uses for them. And as easy gloss-over-the-details notes.

 

I don't think they really mean anything, they just sound pretty. I suppose Su is what people expect (Sue), Yo is the most me part of me that doesn't ever fit, and the No is the everything else. Separately, 'su', 'no' and 'yo' are the articles, determiners and quantifiers (and slang terms) of several languages/dialects that, individually, mean nothing, but are vital to the comprehension of the sentence. So separate parts of my personality don't really work on their own, but when they're together and taken as just (key) parts of a whole structure they make it (me) work.

I've always thought languages were beautiful, and every human has their own, complex, idiolect, so a hodgepodge of random bits and pieces that sound nice together seems like the perfect metaphor for a person.

 

I noticed that I have to make sure I'm slightly under the table so that I'm pulling towards the centre of the table. Helpful illustration that I just spent way too long on:

 

*pics*

 

Tried that; the table's too narrow and light for it to work. Thanks for the illustration though.

 

Please post pics if you're comfortable when you do! :D

 

Just have to work on squishing the boobs down. I have a pretty good haircut that can function as boy or girl, though leaning a little more towards the girl, so it's just the boobs.

 

You're seriously making me cry over here. That's so unfair of your parents to put that all on you. Here's another fact: telling your kids stuff like this is awful. It's bad parenting for one thing, and it's awful to do that to another human being. I understand the desire to want to make your parents and family proud, but from what you've written, they don't deserve it. You deserve so much better than what you've got. I know you didn't ask for opinions or inputs or advice here, so I'm sorry for sticking my nose in if it's not wanted. You want to improve your relationship with them? They're the ones who should be trying their damnedest to apologise to you and improve their relationship with you. You are not the one at fault here.

The word you may be looking for is asexual by the way. Nothing wrong with it, and it doesn't have to be a phase. I know and love some asexual people and they're pretty awesome human beings.

 

And knowing their family histories I know that, to some extent, this is all they know. And a lot of the time it isn't that bad; I mean, I know for a stone cold fact that they love me and if I needed them they'd do everything they could for me. But day-to-day, there's some doubt, you know? I could be a better son, I could be a better daughter (I vary), how do I make them proud? And sometimes I am horrible. I also know why TKD Brother's the favourite (he nearly died when he was a toddler), so I don't resent it; the other brother is autistic, the sister is the baby, I'm the eldest. I don't really hold grudges about that. I don't even mind being called the accident because most children are, and just because I'm an accident doesn't mean I'm unloved.

It's just that I generally feel like the family could use an improvement, and if we mutually work together it'll be better than one person trying. I tell them what they problem is and they work towards fixing those bits, and I work towards other bits.

I do thank you for your opinion though, an opinion with care and concern behind it is better than apathy.

 

I've thought maybe I was asexual. I suppose it fits, but I also think I'd be willing to do that sort of thing with the right person/for the right circumstance. So perhaps demisexual? But then I also don't understand romance and love, isn't it just deep trust, friendship and companionship? Like a best friend but more? So aromantic/demiromantic too?

 

And after a lot of thinking I went 'eh'. If it happens it happens, if it doesn't it doesn't.

 

Aw, geez. I didn't know that things were so rough for you in your life. I mean, I remember you mentioning some stuff, but never like this. I'm sorry that things are so bad.

 

So, the temptation is for me to be all patronizing and say, "no, no, there, there, everything's gonna be all right," but I don't think you'd either buy it or appreciate it. Instead, let me say that we'll walk with you here as much as we can. Take this challenge a day at a time. These goals are worth accomplishing.

 

Well, you don't really mention the usual stuff do you? Just the out-of-the-ordinary stuff. It's fairly bad at time, yes, but most of the time it's fairly okay or good. I want better than that though, and some company along the way is very much appreciated. :)

 

Damn that's rough.  That's rough AND you now have That Damned Song stuck in everyone's head.  Double rough.

Seriously though, I know how hard it is to write anything down for self reflection, let alone on a public forum. Good for you - it really can help relieve an enormous amount of tension in your system that you didn't know was there. These are all amazing challenge goals that even if you don't get them nailed down 100% in the next few weeks can be honed further in the next challenge (or several). Life's rough, but at least you picked a damned good guild to confide in... (Yes, I'm gloating for our guild. No, I have no shame.)

 

Could be worse. I like better though, and I want it, so this is good. As for That Damned Song, you'll be humming it on your death bed. Enjoy! 

I don't talk a lot. Speaking tends to make me anxious outside of certain people, but typing or talking online? Yeah, I talk. I talk until the cows go home. And there's a certain degree of anonymity that means I find it easier to express certain wishes and thoughts, even just having written my life quest I feel better for admitting it; for recognising there's a problem and that I need to make it known to all involved. So public reflection and confession. No shame, me.

 

Thanks for the compliment on my challenges, I hope to kick ass, or at least work towards it; I've picked some hard things to work on, and several of them will need more than a challenge to refine (diet I'm looking at you) where some are going to be the kind where just twenty second of bravery is the big breakthrough (family).

 

And hey, it's not gloating if it's true! Unless you constantly remind people of it in every conversation you have.

 

Monday update soon. Just need to finish the last two things.

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Day One/Week One, Day One/Mon

 

Reflection

 

Meditate: Yep. I think it was about forty minutes in one session today; or perhaps more like a concentrated daydream (0.5/42)

Sleep Meditation: Well I haven't been to sleep yet, so no. Tomorrow will account for tonight and so on and so forth. And I didn't do it last night. (0.5/42)

Mirror: My LYBaYF and HOoRAY stuff is at the bottom of the post. I was wearing my glasses as well. I'm not entirely sure why I don't like looking at myself when wearing glasses; I've been wearing them since I was thirteen or so, so that's a good decade there, and I've usually gotten compliments on my glasses. I seldom look poorly put together is what I'm trying to say, and ultimately, glasses are just a tool to enhance things. But there's something about the glasses, almost like they're a cipher and it's hiding me from the world; yet at the same time I feel oddly exposed while wearing them.

I feel more able to accept things without the glasses, especially positive; perhaps it's because puberty and the dysphoria kicked in around about the same time I got my glasses? (1/42)

Either way, it's strange looking into a mirror and complimenting yourself about things. I feel like a self-conscious Narcissus.

Skill Check: Language: French. The fact that I am mostly bilingual is good because it means I will run into less problems should I travel to a Francophone country or speak with French-speaking people. While, undoubtedly, my vocabulary is going to be lacking, especially in specialised areas, as I'm out of practice, I feel confident that I could holiday in France for a while and experience little trouble. Being bilingual is also just a perk in general isn't it? People find it very impressive. I also enjoy reading in other languages, though that tends towards the medieval side of things rather than the modern. (1/42)

 

Martial Arts

 

B->ABBW: Not today, but I'm posting my current BBWW here so I can copy-pasta things more easily. And to track my progress. This is my current work out

Big Girl push ups - 2; 2; 1

Knee push ups - 6; 6; 6
One-armed overhead dumbbell press (10lb) - 10; 10; 10
Single Leg Squat (with chair assist when/if necessary) - 4; 4; 4
Squats (normal ones) - 15; 15; 15
Split lunge jumps (AKA Another Video of Lilith's) - 3; 2; 1
Bent Over Dumbbell Rows (10lb) - 10; 10; 10
Standing Mountain Climbers - 10; 10; 10

Still 0/24.

Patterns and Balance: Not today, though I think I'll be doing yoga in this to help with balance and stuff. 0/24. I also just remembered that Kung Fu and T'ai Chi aren't on this week (though T'ai Chi day class), so it's actually 0/23.

Weights: Not today. 0/6

Tumbling/Falling: Not today. But I did do some thinking and I feel like it might be that the instructor wanted me to go backwards that was the problem. I can't see behind me, so I feel more unprepared. So this week I'll work on forward and backward rolls as they'll be much faster than the speed at which the instructor currently wants me to fall.

 

Pistol Squats

Following along with the Assassin's six-week skill challenge (SWSC), I'm doing the level one and two stuff found here.

Squats: 10 and . . .

Bottom of a Squat Hold: 1x10 (5s) - talk about a clicky hip and knee. And I noticed that for the last few my left heel was starting to come up off the floor/

Forward Bend: 10s

Sitting Forward Bend: 1x15s (until muscles relaxed into stretch), 1x10s (until muscles relaxed into a slightly deeper stretch)

Sitting Forward Bend Legs Wide: (approx 45 degrees), didn't get much of a stretch into it - stupid belly fat - but I did stretch somewhat.

Leg Swings (for both sides unless said otherwise): 2x10 (side-to-side), 1x10 (front-to-back). Noticed that my swings weren't as high towards the back.

Standing Leg Raise (hold for 1-5s per rep) (for both sides unless side otherwise): 1x3 (@5s), then I realised I was setting the leg down between raises, so 1x5 (@5s).

Bottom Of Pistol Squat Hold: 1 either side, holding for 5s. Needed to hold onto door handle and settee arm cushion to hold it. Definitely felt my weight shifting backwards, but I'm wandering if a small part of it was because of the height disparity in my supports putting me off balance. Pushed up from the hold to standing and I pretty much drop the pistol immediately.

 

All in all, not too bad for a first day.

 

 

Diet

 

Snacks: A pack of fruit pastilles, but I also went ahead and bought some onken strawberry yoghurt (0% fat because fat is evil *eyeroll*) because it's entirely gluten free. By that I mean several other types of yoghurt had little notes saying 'made in a factory where...', so Onken. (Then I asked Dr. Google when I got home and some types of flavouring and whatnot could use gluten and everything makes sense.) Also it's strawberry. And I bought some strawberry milk (also labelled gluten free even though milk, but again, probably because some types of milkshake are 'made in a factory where...' (MIAF...). So I'm all set up for snacks/lunches/desserts for most of the week. Look at me thinking ahead. Anyway: 1/2 snacks for the week.

Gluten-free: Yep. Mostly because I forgot to eat breakfast and lunch, but I wasn't really hungry around breakfast time. 1/42

Recipes: Lemon pepper chicken only requires me to buy chicken bits and a lemon. And maybe chicken stock too. But no. Not today. 0/6

 

Life Quest: Family

 

Work continues on trying to find a job, and I'm pretty sure this'll fit the 'be proud of me' thing. That and I want to be proud of me and start earning money and things, so I really want to find a job.

 

PvS/PvP

LYBaYF

I haven't done this for a week! Two a day until I catch up?

 

(Last Monday and this Monday (today))

 

Body 77: My wrists look dainty, but are perfectly proportioned. As far as I can tell.

 

Body 78: Their flexion and extension is pretty good too, definitely more limber there.

 

Food 67: Gluten-free all day, and prepared for gluten-free snacks/lunches/desserts for part of the week. Feels good.

 

Food 68: STRAWBERRIES. I bought strawberry yoghurt and strawberry milkshake as my gluten-free snacks/lunches/desserts/whatevers and it is Strawberry Season here. All of the strawberries.

I like strawberries.

A lot.

 

HOoRAY

I haven't done this in a week! Two a day until I catch up?

 

(Last Monday and this Monday (today))

 

66: Spent about an hour listening to eighties music and Queen in general. Great way to spend an hour.

 

67: Haven't worn earrings in a while, don't know why, but I am right now. And with my short hair my danglies really get to show off now.

 

(And last Tuesday too)

 

68: A bit of vanity is good for the soul.

 

Odds and Sods

 

GMB hip flexibility because I want better hips. And splits.

This still makes me cry, and I will try to do on good thing every day for someone. Or something.

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I don't think they really mean anything, they just sound pretty. I suppose Su is what people expect (Sue), Yo is the most me part of me that doesn't ever fit, and the No is the everything else. Separately, 'su', 'no' and 'yo' are the articles, determiners and quantifiers (and slang terms) of several languages/dialects that, individually, mean nothing, but are vital to the comprehension of the sentence. So separate parts of my personality don't really work on their own, but when they're together and taken as just (key) parts of a whole structure they make it (me) work.

I've always thought languages were beautiful, and every human has their own, complex, idiolect, so a hodgepodge of random bits and pieces that sound nice together seems like the perfect metaphor for a person.

 

Neat, thanks! That's a really cool way of looking at self. 

 

Just have to work on squishing the boobs down. I have a pretty good haircut that can function as boy or girl, though leaning a little more towards the girl, so it's just the boobs.

 

I tried on a binder last year and wow ... it did nothing. :lol: Darn boobs.

 

It's just that I generally feel like the family could use an improvement, and if we mutually work together it'll be better than one person trying. I tell them what they problem is and they work towards fixing those bits, and I work towards other bits.

 

Teamwork! :)

 

I've thought maybe I was asexual. I suppose it fits, but I also think I'd be willing to do that sort of thing with the right person/for the right circumstance. So perhaps demisexual? But then I also don't understand romance and love, isn't it just deep trust, friendship and companionship? Like a best friend but more? So aromantic/demiromantic too?

 

And after a lot of thinking I went 'eh'. If it happens it happens, if it doesn't it doesn't.

 

I love how there are degrees of asexual, and that even the "grey" end of the spectrum is a spectrum. People are wonderful creatures.

 

As for That Damned Song, you'll be humming it on your death bed. Enjoy!

 

It's been stuck in my head all day and I've been listening to music to try and get it out but IT'S NOT WORKING ARGH.

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It'll probably get a little more personal before the challenge ends. And I know that they usually don't mean it (autistic sibling aside), it's more like unthinking bluntness, a bit of advantage taking (they confide in me) and silly things like that. I'm not playing down what they do, sometimes it really hurts and I want to cry, sometimes I can shrug it off. I honestly don't think they know they're doing it half the time, and knowing that Mum came from an abusive family (they laugh about it, but even understanding it was the '60s and child abuse didn't really 'exist' some of the things . . . ) means I give them maybe a little too much leeway I think.

 

The Kung Fu class is pretty small, and I do mostly trust the instructor, but when someone's basically kicking one of your legs out from under you and pulling and pushing you down to the floor you'd probably lock up too, right? No mats at home, I'm working with a comforter folded in half over a wooden floor. In a small space. But the makeshift mat is roughly a quarter of an inch thick, so it should be okay. *fingers crossed*

 

I don't think they really mean anything, they just sound pretty. I suppose Su is what people expect (Sue), Yo is the most me part of me that doesn't ever fit, and the No is the everything else. Separately, 'su', 'no' and 'yo' are the articles, determiners and quantifiers (and slang terms) of several languages/dialects that, individually, mean nothing, but are vital to the comprehension of the sentence. So separate parts of my personality don't really work on their own, but when they're together and taken as just (key) parts of a whole structure they make it (me) work.

I've always thought languages were beautiful, and every human has their own, complex, idiolect, so a hodgepodge of random bits and pieces that sound nice together seems like the perfect metaphor for a person.

 

 

I've thought maybe I was asexual. I suppose it fits, but I also think I'd be willing to do that sort of thing with the right person/for the right circumstance. So perhaps demisexual? But then I also don't understand romance and love, isn't it just deep trust, friendship and companionship? Like a best friend but more? So aromantic/demiromantic too?

 

And after a lot of thinking I went 'eh'. If it happens it happens, if it doesn't it doesn't.

 

Would it help at all to sit them down and clearly explain this?  Would they back off any if they understood how much they hurt you?  There's no way you should have to live with that at home.

 

Yep, getting used to being thrown is a tough process.  It's been a while but I remember.

 

That's fantastic!  Best reasoning behind a name I've seen around here.  Is it something you use offline too?

 

Cool, sounds like you're pretty familiar with it then.  There's a handful or so of us around here :-)

 

 

Skill Check: Language: French. The fact that I am mostly bilingual is good because it means I will run into less problems should I travel to a Francophone country or speak with French-speaking people. While, undoubtedly, my vocabulary is going to be lacking, especially in specialised areas, as I'm out of practice, I feel confident that I could holiday in France for a while and experience little trouble. Being bilingual is also just a perk in general isn't it? People find it very impressive. I also enjoy reading in other languages, though that tends towards the medieval side of things rather than the modern. (1/42)

 

 

Tumbling/Falling: Not today. But I did do some thinking and I feel like it might be that the instructor wanted me to go backwards that was the problem. I can't see behind me, so I feel more unprepared. So this week I'll work on forward and backward rolls as they'll be much faster than the speed at which the instructor currently wants me to fall.

All in all, not too bad for a first day.

 

Work continues on trying to find a job, and I'm pretty sure this'll fit the 'be proud of me' thing. That and I want to be proud of me and start earning money and things, so I really want to find a job.

 

68: A bit of vanity is good for the soul.

 

French is indeed cool, and similar enough to a bunch of other languages to give you a boost if you want to learn them sometime.

 

Good plan and an excellent first day!

 

What kind of work are you interested in?

 

It is. 

 

I love how there are degrees of asexual, and that even the "grey" end of the spectrum is a spectrum. People are wonderful creatures.

 

It's been stuck in my head all day and I've been listening to music to try and get it out but IT'S NOT WORKING ARGH.

 

True that.  It's pretty cool.

 

Aaaannd now it's back.

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More details, updates and replies later, probably tomorrow. Why?
Two words: contaminated water.

Contaminated water that, at its worst, looked like diarrhoea pouring straight out of the tap. 

And yeah, I drank it about two minutes before the water started turning brown and . . . explosive.

 

Today has been a not-good day.

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So I might be calling this week a bit of a bust. Might. Because y'see, and I'm going to be gross here, I spent most of it on the loo or within quick walk-waddle's distance of it; especially after I found out that something as simple as sitting up made me need to hurry quickly to the loo. Sleep . . . was not a thing that happened until very late. Causing me to sleep in because what sleep I did have was, by necessity, broken.

Yesterday was better, and today has been a bit better than that, but any . . . let's say forceful movements - i.e. squats, push ups and so on are . . . difficult. And because I was more focussed on not becoming dehydrated and simply getting food in and staying in, there's been a lot of snacking, some of which has been gluten-y. Though, oddly, not as much as I would imagine.

Still, T'ai Chi day course tomorrow. And I haven't been feeling well enough to make my planned pack lunch, so let's see what I can improvise down the shop. And ask Mum for some pills.

 

Could be worse though. I mean, this was completely unannounced and the immediate area around the school (which first noticed the problem) was without water for Monday morning. Unannounced. Meaning one poor mother didn't realise what was happening until she'd put her baby in the bath, then turned around for a couple of seconds to grab a towel out of the airing cupboard.

And what she turned around there was her fifteen-month-old, sitting in 'water'. She thought her baby was ill until she saw it was coming out of the taps. So it could have been worse. No one was especially happy that day.

 

I might call this week a wash-out and start again from Monday. Maybe.

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^  That.  No way to plan for those things.  Not dehydrated and getting food to stay down are all the priorities you can deal with when you're that sick.

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Ugh.  Food poisoning.  Not fun at all.  Monks have collective luck I feel - one bad thing happens to us and the rest follow suit. >.<

 

*hands over his remaining Peptobismol to SuNoYo*

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@Risen Phoenix: It wasn't exactly food poisoning, more water poisoning.

 

@Kishi, Teirin and Chris-Tien: yeah, this week is officially a wash, but I'm still counting my T'ai Chi day course task as completed though. I ended up sunburnt on my forearms and fairly badly sunburnt on my face - mostly the nose and left cheek, though the whole face and part of my scalp took a slight burn. :/

Also, due to various weird exercises I got to stick my tongue out at people, pick people up by their armpits, slide around the hall on my bum (read: push my partner across the hall while he tried to push me the other way) - which has left my with quite a painful bum because I was partnered with a middley graded teacher who was shocked that he could barely budge me at all - and play cat and mouse with people's hands. And try to stand up while not letting the partner stand up.

Silly things, but fun.

And we spent the entire afternoon outside, and so sunburn.

But I liberally applied aloe vera after sun once or twice an hour until bed. And then once in the night and by eight in the morning the pain was virtually gone and the heat that lingered was mostly inconsequential. The nose is still fairly bad though, and my left eye area too, but a few more after sun's and I'll be fine.

 

Looking forward to restarting on Monday though.

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YAY!!! I found you!!! I totally had a "Week One Wash" as well - but we're both gonna totally ROCK the rest of this challenge!!! I know it!!!  :highly_amused:

 

P.S. I love the Mulan theme!! I'm a total Disney nut, so I think this is awesome!!!

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