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Naaria

Naaria's Search for Balance v1.5

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1.5 because I didn't quite make it to 2.0 last challenge. This time, I'm gonna rock my goals and do it with a smile on my face.

 

My ultimate goal is still to reach 130-135lbs, which is now only 7-12lbs away (down from 10-15lb)! So some progress has been made! However, something that I found last time was that I felt like a million bucks even though the scale wasn't looking the way I wanted it to. I'm going to do my very best to not let that discourage me from progressing even further. It seems so counter-intuitive looking back, but in the moment all I wanted to do was drown in cheesecake and cookies. Not happening.

 

I want to improve my relationship with when/why/how I eat food. I want to eat once every two hours with a cut off at 8PM. I want to eat food that will sustain me, energize my body, and make me feel good. Sometimes that's not always going to be the best tasting things. Some questions I need to consciously ask myself are:

 

Do I REALLY need that piece of cheesecake at 9:05PM?

Am I going to starve if I don't grab a second helping of dinner?

Is the hunger I feel in my belly really THAT bad, that I need to eat something RIGHT NOW?

 

I want to improve my outward look, as in the way I dress, hold myself, or present myself to others. Whenever I walk into a store, especially if it's at the same time as someone else, I find that the clerks will happily greet the other person, but look at me and then look away, basically just ignore me. Well, before yesterday my response was with self-pity. I must look weird. I must be unlovable. They must know what a terrible person I am. Well, yesterday I was in a particularly good mood overall and decided to make faces at myself in the mirror while washing my hands. Then I decided to make my neutral face. Oh my god you guys, I have THE bitchiest resting face. Like, they coined the term because of me. I looked like I was looking for someone to kill. It was hilarious how MAD I looked. So I've decided to always have at least a slight smile on my face at all times. :)

 

As for dressing better, I want to overthrow my current wardrobe and get nicer clothes. I dress mostly in tank tops, yoga pants, sweaters/jackets if weather calls for it. Comfy clothes. I want to find comfy, nice-looking clothes. I know it's possible. This year, I want to be comfortable wearing shorts. In public. Without leggings underneath. I started wearing dresses without leggings last year or so (YAY!) so it's possible. I just need to lose inches on my thighs before I feel comfortable attempting it.

 

 

Well, now for the big question! How am I going to reach these goals?

 

I will walk, do yoga, do jumping jacks in my room, chase my cat around, ANYTHING.. to keep moving. At least 30 minutes a day. If I don't have time to walk on the treadmill, I will walk to and from the train for work/errands/whatever. It's 20 mins each way so 40 mins a day JUST LIKE THAT. Self, it's really that easy. Don't be lazy.

    Yoga 2x week, Walk 6x week = STR +2, STA +3, DEX +1

 

I will use my fancyshmancy new dishes that I splurged on to help with portioning as much as possible. I will be more meticulous with portioning my food in general. I will buy a digital scale at some point this weekend or next. I will eat better food in general. For this challenge this means less fried foods, less sugar, substitute healthier options for meals. Stay within calorie range. Eating well will improve my overall mood. It always does.

    Home cooked meals 2x Week with better, more accurate portioning = CON +2

 

I will slowly replace my old clothing with new, pretty clothing. I will stay within my budget (since I'm trying to move out soon) by shopping smart! Clearance, sales, deals, no expensive stores! I will be true to my Taurus spirit and be frugal and smart with my money! I work way too hard to throw it away on junk!

     Get a few Spring/Summer outfits and actually feel awesome and confident when I wear it = CHA +3

 

I will do my best to be a better girlfriend and better person all around. This is for the sake of future me, and for my boyfriend who is supporting me with everything he's got. We met through sheer luck, through everything lining up the way it should and we ended up together. I am so blessed and so thankful for the chance to be the girl he loves. I'm happier than I have ever been. I meet him for the first time on May 11 (FOUR WEEKS OH MY GOD).  :) I will not let past experiences cloud the love, happiness and sunshine that I experience with this guy. I can't fuck it up. I won't.

     3 AWESOME points a day or 21 a week = WIS +4

 

If I am able to do any of these following things, I get an AWESOME point for the day!

  • I will take progress pictures weekly and, instead of feeling bad, I will be grateful for my effort and progress.
  • I will meditate daily if I can, even if it's closing my eyes on the train and breathing.
  • I will use aromatherapy to help control cravings and keep feelings in check.
  • I won't let toxic thoughts dictate how I feel. I will stay positive.
  • I will smile at people I see. If at least one smiles back, AWESOME point for me!
  • I will oil pull regularly! 

 

 

 

Thank you guys. Good luck everyone!!

 

Made a Google Docs thing! IT'S AWESOME!!

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I love the dishes you splurged on!  And being a better person to better the lives of two people (even if one is yourself) isn't selfish at all.  :)

 

Good luck!

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You again have very nice goals, I hope you will keep up the motivation to work on them. I'm sure you'll do better this time, since your life is more stable with the new jobs now :).

 

Have you thought about how to grade yourself? How to measure if you're doing well? Some goals seem very subjective, and you can have forgotten that you did well in the morning by the time you write your reports. Also, you seem to have a lot of goals, I'm not sure if anyone can concentrate on so many things at the same time and also have a job and a social life. This mini-quest/guide of the adventurers seems to address most concerns I have with your challenge, but formulated better. Maybe you can reformulate your challenge along these guidelines? I don't want to be a know-it-all, I just want you to succeed ;).

 

If you need any help I can provide, please let me know.

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I kept thinking about how you could reshape your challenge such that you can go for all your goals, make them quantifiable and doable at the same time. Maybe you can do it with AWESOME points. Every time you use your new dishes for a meal, every time you use the scale to measure your food, every time you buy new clothes, etc., every time you do something awesome that works toward your goals of becoming lighter and happier, you get an AWESOME point. You can say that you need to earn at least 5 (or any other number) AWESOME points a day as a quest. This will keep it measurable, but also leaves room for interpretation. It is not something you always can do better (like "I won't let toxic thoughts dictate how I feel. I will stay positive.", at which you will fail at least once if you are human), but something that you can improve in small steps. I know you want to be perfect at once, but in reality, nobody is perfect and you will only be disappointed in yourself if you set your goals too high.

 

Of course, there are many ways to change your challenge from impossible to possible, but I think this can be one of them. I know that my advice is unasked for and feel free to ignore me, but I hope you appreciate it nonetheless.

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Naaria, very welcome to the Druids!

It is lovely to have you here.

 

That said I have similar concerns as above regarding your challenge, it is so much easier to measure and keep accountable if the goals are detailed and possible to measure somehow. Is there anything that you could reformulate to achieve that?

Also, I would strongly recommend taking photos instead of using a scale. It's easier not to get fixated on a number and also to see progress.

 

I think many of us can relate to your relationship issues with food, it is not easy but it can be changed  :nevreness:

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Welcome welcome!

 

That's 3 people I know of so far who are working on upgrading their appearance and wardrobe (you, Haku, myself, ...maybe more? I haven't looked at everyone's threads yet). I wonder if we could all make a vanity club lol!

 


Also, I would strongly recommend taking photos instead of using a scale. It's easier not to get fixated on a number and also to see progress.

 

^ Yes, because scales can be filthy liars. One night I weighed myself and saw the needle move to 144 lbs. This was on a day where I was sober after about 6 days (hellooo, water weight), on the wrong time of the month, and after supper. A few days later in the morning and after a workout: 135 lbs. I looked the same both times.

 

Not to say that scales are useless. I still step on the scale daily because, well...just because, but I'm aware that the numbers aren't always representative of progress. So yes to progress pics, and ill-fitting clothes for tracking progress :)

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Thank you everyone. Your kind words uplift me. :) I took photos last challenge and loved the progress that showed. I will definitely be doing it again this time around! Perhaps I should mention that in the OP.

 

Naxius! What a great idea about the vanity club!! haha! I wonder if we can make a sticky of that? And we can make posts when we buy cute new clothes? I would love that.. I don't have many people in real life to share these things with other than my boyfriend! *hinthint to the mods*

 

Waanie, I feel so blessed that we have crossed paths. It warms my heart to know that you were thinking of me enough to formulate the AWESOME points system for me! I'll edit the OP a bit and make it more manageable and more detailed, but I'll definitely be using your system. <3

edit: I've edited it now. Please don't hesitate to let me know what you think about it!!

 

 

Day 0 [4/13] Update:

 

I'm oil pulling as I type this! I'm going to walk once I finish. I took my first progress photos today. I'm debating whether I want to post them here.. but we'll see if I can muster up the courage. Last challenge I was measuring myself weekly but the numbers were so slight but added so much frustration. I might opt out of that unless my curiosity really needs to be fed.

 

Speaking of fed, this morning I have a huge, awesome breakfast planned. Eggs benedict! Oh, did I mention that I CAN FINALLY EAT EGGS without dying? I don't know why it was even a thing to begin with but.. when I was at the store I decided to buy organic, free-run/range eggs and ate those with no pain! So anyway, eggs benedict!! I know it will be hella calorie dense but I'll limit the hollandaise and I have a sweet potato to roast, as opposed to a russet. The eggs are going to be on a bed of avocado instead of ham/bacon/whatever. I bought mushrooms and have some spinach to sautee for the side. I only thought of this now but I should have searched for whole grain english muffins.. I unfortunately only have white.. but it'll be delicious regardless.

 

Damn this is gonna be good. Happy day zero everyone. <3 Will update again at the end of the day.

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Looking good :). I love your meal, and if you don't put on too much hollandaise it is actually a very healthy breakfast. So many vegetables, and it will also keep you satisfied at least until lunch. Also, everyone needs their calories, you don't want to faint or snack before your next meal ;).

 

I think your last two goals are still not very measurable. If I look at your goals literally, you will drink all your water from your bowl instead of from a cup, you will eat all day long, etc. I know that's not what you mean, but how do you define "as much as possible"? Something like "during all meals" or "at least twice a day" is measurable, and you will be able to tell yourself in the end that you did well. On the other hand, I would never be able to finish a mission with "as much as possible" in it, since I know I can always use/do/practice more. I think a very doable challenge with almost exactly the same goals, but a more doable formulation would be:

- Exercise (don't change formulation) -> +V STA

- Buy a kitchen scale and use it for every home-made meal after buying -> +W WIS

- Use bowls for every home-made meal, eat a home-made meal at least twice(?) a day -> +X CON (?)

- Slowly replace clothing, so that after this challenge everything fits, you have enough outfits for this spring and you are proud to wear your remaining outfits -> +Y CHA

- Earn 2 AWESOME points every day -> +Z WIS (you can also add some "better girlfriend" points here, like chatting, or putting extra effort into your appearance the day you'll meet him, etc. Also, other points to make you more healthy, either physically or mentally. Writing down your progress and your feelings in a diary or in this thread counts. Saying no to candy/asking for a small slice of pie counts. Etc. )

 

Then choose V,W,X,Y and Z such that V+W+X+Y+Z = 15, so that you know how many stats you can earn this challenge and you know how to earn them. For every of these points, you can say easily whether you did them or not. I think it will make it easier for most nerds, including you, to have very tangible, concrete, explicit points.

 

You cannot cheat with clear yes/no goals, so you don't have to wonder whether or not you did well enough (if you doubt about it, the answer is that you did well enough ;)). You cannot ask yourself if your results from the past were really good enough, or that you just thought wishfully at the time, because you can clearly show you did everything you had to. You cannot wonder on beforehand about what should be enough for that day. You can just put on your hard hat and go for it :). In my experience, it is very difficult to actually do something if you tell yourself something like "I need to eat good", although it is easier to not eat that bar of chocolate if one of your goals is "I will not eat candy today". In the first formulation I begin to doubt about how much chocolate is still "good enough" if I make up for it later and then start to wonder about what I should eat to compensate for the chocolate. At that point, my chocolate is usually gone ;). On the other hand, if I told myself I won't eat candy, then I won't eat the chocolate (except for emotionally wrecking days, but that's something I still should work on).

 

Remember that you cannot change everything about yourself at the same time, and the missions as written above are already very optimistic. Many small steps bring you further than a few big leaps ;). I'm sorry for the wall of text, let's just say that by being an applied mathematician, I'm trained for nitpicking anything that has numbers or formulas in it :P.

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WAAAANNNIIIIIE <3 Thank you!! I'm going to spend today fine tuning this stuff. Your advice is great and I'm a very whimsy sort of person so someone as logical as you is definitely what I need to help keep me on track.

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*hug*

I always have difficulties making decisions because I can't do things "on feelings", but sometimes it's nice to think very logically. Glad to be of help, and good luck. See you again tomorrow :).

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I made a Google Docs! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AvFArQiRaSV1dEo5bXZhblU4TnN0TlptLTNqZnk0WVE#gid=6 :) That was really fun to do. It's satisfying to make things look nice and neat and organized.

 

I ate some fried chicken tonight, but I ate half the amount that I normally would so.. not too bad I guess. So at the end of the day, I got 7 points, four of them being AWESOME points! Great start. I know I can keep it up throughout the whole challenge, so I will do my best :D

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I ate some fried chicken tonight, but I ate half the amount that I normally would so.. not too bad I guess. So at the end of the day, I got 7 points, four of them being AWESOME points! Great start. I know I can keep it up throughout the whole challenge, so I will do my best :D

 

MOMENTUM, YEEYUH!

 

You're going to rock this X)

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Welcome here!

 

Acutally I had a problem with eggs, too. For over a year. Now I can eat them and I do.

 

 

- Earn 2 AWESOME points every day -> +Z WIS (you can also add some "better girlfriend" points here, like chatting, or putting extra effort into your appearance the day you'll meet him, etc. 

 

 

This is good, BUT he wants to meet YOU ;)

Do that 4 or 5 days a week(even if you do not meet him) and it will be your new standard pretty soon ;)

You can always look good(hot AND serious), right?

 

I'll leave the rest of this to you girls, I promise ;)

 

Good luck!

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So, is the Google Docs link working for everyone? I feel like I might have given the wrong link!! Please let me know so I can change it.

 

 

Day 1 [4/14]

 

Walked for a grand total of 70 mins! I feel awesome!! Stayed under calories, caught myself being a jerk to my boyfriend and corrected it.. today was overall a really good day. As fate would have it, I didn't have any left over cupcakes to bring home from work so I don't have any temptations to worry about! Yay!!

 

4 AWESOME points with a total of 8 points for the day! That's a win :)

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Great first day :D.

 

As for the google docs, I have to request access, so you either shared the wrong link or one of the options is wrong at the moment.

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I've finally figured it out! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AvFArQiRaSV1dEo5bXZhblU4TnN0TlptLTNqZnk0WVE&usp=sharing should work. I've also updated the link on the OP.

 

Day 2 [4/15]

 

Somehow, I prefer to update in the morning with what I'll be doing, instead of at night stating what I've done. I feel I have more time in the morning, especially since I can't do much else when I'm oil pulling.anyway! I think I'll do my checklist at the end of the day, but will update with anticipated activities in the morning.

 

Anyway, my mom slept in today so I won't have time to walk on the treadmill, so I'll be walking to/from the train today. I am also going to go to yoga after work today :) I'm quite excited. It'll be an ashtanga class so I'll be getting my ass handed to me for being so lazy these past few weeks! On a lighter note, MyFitnessPal finally made it so that we can manually adjust our macros on the phone app! So I spent a good chunk of my morning doing that, figuring out numbers.. it's so confusing. But I've got it down I think!

 

I can't think of any foods to make this week for lunch. Any suggestions? :)

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I love your spreadsheet, it is so clear and it makes it simpler to keep your progress on track, great work! Maybe I'll steal your idea for this spreadsheet.

 

I got my ass kicked at sun salutations this morning, so I totally feel you. Yoga is fun, but sometimes a little intense ;).

 

As for meals... I'll think about it. Almost all my meals contain a lot of bread, pasta or rice, so they contain more calories than you want to. What are your limitations and which vegetables are on sale this week?

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Ayup, I can see the GoogleDoc. I should probably make one for myself, because one of my quests is a long-ass list. I have an excel spreadsheet for it right now, but it doesn't look as pretty.

 

Congrats on all the awesome points so far!

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Steal away Waanie! Mi spreadsheet su spreadsheet! :D

Well, I done fucked up already. Had a bad morning and it didn't get much better as the day went on. Ate over my calories (not by too, too much. but still), had sugar, and fries. I was going to go to yoga, but I think I'll just do something easy at home. Tomorrow will be better.

 

edit: apparently vetiver, lavender, and a nap makes today better! I feel less grumpy after that. I changed "stay positive" to "self-care" in my spreadsheet which I think makes a lot more sense.

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Hi Naaria! I think you've been doing amazing so far!!! Remember that it's not about avoiding mistakes, but how we allow ourselves to recover from them that's important. Mistakes are part of the process, right? Sounds like you already have that down though--tomorrow will be a better day, plus soothing scents and naptime! If we didn't have less than perfect days we wouldn't be able to have super badass awesome days lol. Glad you were able to turn the day around :) I like the shift from "stay positive" to "self-care," being positive feels more subjective, self-care more tangible and definable.  

 

Oooo, you use vetiver too? I just started experimenting with essential oils, stood around and sniffed EVERYTHING for like 30 minutes in a Body Time shop, and chose to take home vetiver and eucalyptus (not mixed but separate). Vetiver makes me feel like I'm in a magical forest :) Very appropriate for druids! Keep up the awesomeness!!

 

The GoogleDoc is looking good!

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Too bad you had a bad day. I also like the change to self-care, it is very broad but easily forgotten.

 

I will try to translate some basic recipes to English this afternoon and send you the link, since it's easier to resist unhealthy food if you can make your own meal in the same time, for the same amount of money that is both healthier and tastes better. I have no idea about the availability and prices of products in north-America, but you'll probably find at least one recipe that you can make.

 

I will use your spreadsheet for my challenge, I'll probably adapt it also this afternoon for my challenge :).

 

Good luck and make of today an AWESOME day!

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Oh man, I could spend ALL DAY in an essential oils store! It's bad. It's very bad. But oh so good. I initially hated the smell of vetiver but the heavy, muskiness of it really does bring me back down to earth. It's powerful and quite humbling. I'm also really liking citrusy scents like orange, lemon, and bergamot. I'm actually experimenting right now.. apparently lemon helps to break down fat, something about it triggering the metabolic area of your brain, as well as "melting" it in the places you apply it. So I've been rubbing lemon diluted with grape seed oil after my shower in the morning (similar to abhyanga in ayurveda!) on my belly and thighs and seeing if it will make a difference. If not, it smells awesome and keeps me alert so it's working in other ways regardless!

 

Thank you Waanie! I appreciate it. I will sit at some point this week and try to find recipes as well. I'm also really glad that you made that spreadsheet! <3 Here's to a great second challenge!!

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Day 3 [4/16]

 

Aiming for a great day today. Oil pulling as I type, will walk, and it's raining today. I see it as a way to wash off the woes of yesterday, and stay cool and refreshed while I walk to work! I didn't have the energy to make any food for lunch today, so I'm going to opt for the "healthiest" option at the food court today while I'm at work. Greek food isn't bad, right? :x I'll also be engaging in a little bit of retail therapy after work and will probably go buy myself a fancy new scale! Depending on my mood later on, I might even try to shop for some clothes as well. We shall see!

 

 

Evening Update!

 

Spent WAY too much on clothes but I got a lot of awesome things. Got a new dress, new shoes, a scale, some cute flowy shirts.. it was a good retail therapy session. :) Walked around A LOT. My feet feel like they're on fire!

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