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Naaria

Naaria's Search for Balance v1.5

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I love your tattoo, the sunflowers are very beautiful :). You can do some light yoga (mostly stretching) without working a sweat, maybe you can do that for a few days?

 

Good luck with your job and with getting enough sleep!

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Day 20 [5/04]

 

Tattoo is finally done scabbing! I shouldn't even say "finally" because it went by REALLY quickly. I used coconut oil and it really worked wonders. Very, very, minimal itching, quick healing.. I LOVE COCONUT OIL <3

 

Today is the day I get back on track. With or without support. Cuz fuck it, I'm not doing this to gain support, I'm doing this so I can stop being a fat, lazy, overeating slob. I'm doing this so I don't turn out like my mom. I'm not gonna let stupid shit get me down anymore. -__-

 

YEAH I'm angry god damn it. Tired of this shit. Tired of the same shit repeating in my life even though I'm working so hard to change it all. SO FUCK IT!! FUCK IIIIIT!!

 

 

(ノ ゜Д゜)ノ ︵ â”»â”â”»

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Thanks Waanie :) <3

 

I felt amazing during and after my walk. I'm glad I got angry this morning. I think sometimes it's necessary to let it out, and not have it be targeted towards anyone. I don't like blowing up on people, or taking my shit out on people who don't deserve it. I watched a couple of TED talks on food and dieting while walking and I felt really motivated to do better for myself..

 

SO I made a really simple and delicious breakfast this morning!! I fried up some quinoa in butter, garlic, cauliflower, broccoli, corn, then fried two eggs over easy and then mashed them together! Ooey, gooey, eggy goodness. On the side I have an avocado and a couple of strips of turkey bacon. Yum. Yumyumyum.

 

Edit to present to you.. Quinoa apple pie!! My dessert tonight!!

 

7MEg91H.jpg

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Day 21 [5/05]

 

Week 3 begins and I'm feeling quite pumped and energetic! That whole, endorphins-after-exercise thing is addictive. I don't know if I'm imagining it but I feel like the more I do, the more gets released! It's niiiiice. :D

 

So I've put a lot of thought into it, but I'm going to be quitting my Cupcakes job. The first few weeks that I started working there, the owner/boss lady was off on the other side of the country dealing with training in a new location they opened. She came back a couple of weeks ago and, I gotta tell you, the idea of going to work has been such a fucking drag.. and I only go there once a week for four hours. I think that's saying a lot. Basically what happened is.. the owner is a control freak. She wants/needs to get things done a certain way, by a certain time, all that.. which I can understand. It's her business to run and she's the boss. But it's not like I've been doing a bad job, or that I was overly slow at what I was doing. Yeah, I wasn't leaving RIGHT at 8:30 because I'm still learning.. and, again, I only close once a week so the improvements in my closing or the things I make note of in my head that I can do better next time can't get applied til the next week if that makes sense.

 

But hooooly shit. One day, she's closing with me I guess because she hasn't been able to see me work and she. did. everything. for me. I did almost zero closing duties that night. I took a mental note of everything she told me so next week, I'd be able to close the way she wanted me to. On my annoyance level, I'm at about a 3/10. The week after that, I come in and she's done over half of the closing list. She even took the liberty of mopping ahead of time, so that when I lock the doors at night, I won't have to. I'm grateful and happy for what she's done. She doesn't stay the whole night this time but after she leaves.. I've got nothing to freaking do. Time went by really, really slowly. A few customers come in and are taking their time deciding, so I started folding boxes so I'm not just standing there looking at them (also one of her instructions, I have to keep busy if there are customers trying to make up their minds. I can understand this)..

 

Then the phone rings. It's her telling me not to fold boxes right now, that I should be helping the customer. In my head it's like, "wait, wtf? She's watching me right now?" I explain the situation and she goes on and on and on about how I should talk with them and how I should engage them which will help them buy something and blah blah blah. Well lady, I did before you called and they decided they needed some time to decide, so I followed ANOTHER one of your instructions and kept busy. I didn't say this because if I had, I think I would have exploded on her. I'm now at a 6/10. The customers are ready for me to help them and try to tell her that I need to hang up now, but she won't stop talking. I signal with my hands that I need a second, because she won't stop talking. A couple mins later (I've been on the phone with her for at least 10 minutes now) and I interrupt her and say, "I need to help these customers, hold on" and put the phone in the counter. I'm sure she's watching me and what I'm doing which REALLY fucking bugs me. I'm gonna be 25 soon. I don't need you to watch me and constantly tell me what to do. Oh, by the way, did I mention that I am now five minutes past when I was supposed to start the last of the closing duties and I STILL have a few people to help? I pick the phone back up and she goes on a little more and tells me "you need to start doing the rest of your close now." Ya think? I'm 7/10 now. The day ends with me hauling ass to get everything done by 8:30 so she doesn't have more bullets to bother me with. I finish at 8:50 because I was so frustrated that I kept losing track of where I was when counting cash thanks to her. Grrrr.

 

So, last week Sunday (or maybe even the Saturday) she texts me saying "because of some switching around we did, we had to cancel your shift on Monday". Wait, what the fuck? Number one, she didn't ASK. Number two, I only have ONE shift a week with them and they decide to cancel it? Come. fucking. on. I'm now at a full blown 10/10 annoyance and I think looking back on it, that's when I decided I was done with them. Or, it might have been tasting the freedom of two days off in a week. Whatever it was, it happened and now I can't stand the thought of going. I don't appreciate being treated like a child. I don't appreciate being watched while I work. Surveillance for safety purposes is one thing.. but watching me in order to tell me that I'm doing this and that wrong is a whole 'nother thing. So I'm done. I don't think I'll be going in today, either.

 

Whew. That turned into a long ass rant.. but it's nice to get it out. I'm gonna go do my exercises and think up another awesome breakfast for today.

 

Otherwise, everything is awesome in my life. 6 days until the trip. Massage job is great. I'm not losing weight on the scale but I feel awesome in my body overall. Life is good. :)

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Sounds like a control freak indeed... You are old enough to think for yourself indeed, and giving contradictory orders doesn't help you becoming better at your job. Are you going to look for another job, or will you just stick to massage?

Good job on becoming addicted to endorfines, I seem to have lost that ;). Feeling awesome is more important than losing weight, especially in such a stressful period :).

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Sounds like a control freak indeed... You are old enough to think for yourself indeed, and giving contradictory orders doesn't help you becoming better at your job. Are you going to look for another job, or will you just stick to massage?

Good job on becoming addicted to endorfines, I seem to have lost that ;). Feeling awesome is more important than losing weight, especially in such a stressful period :).

I don't think I'll be getting another job. It's a whole lot of extra stress that I think I would be better off without. And having two days off a week feels like heaven!

 

Yiiiiikes, being watched while working would really bug me. I don't blame you for walking out, not one bit! I'd do the same!

 

Thank you for the support! It really is an unnerving feeling thinking that she's sipping tea watching me from her home.. Big Brother type shit :(

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Last day of the challenge and you even faced some extra difficulties along the way. Well done handling the crazy lady!

How was week six? 

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