Jothra Conquers the Universe!

[Jothra]

I'm not used to making lunch at home on weekdays anymore, so it took me awhile to settle on meat pie. Who can say no to a meat pie? I can't not say no to not having a meat pie. I ended up having two, but by the end of the day, I was still trying very hard to find enough food to meet my goal.

 

I'm still trying to up my bike cadence. On the way out it was tough, because it's easier to spin fast if I'm wearing my clipless shoes (I wasn't), and because there was a substantial headwind. I kept thinking I was going to turn around, but then I'd think "do it anyway," and make myself go to the top of the next hill. Incidentally, never stop at the bottom of a hill when you can go to the top of the next one; you'll enjoy the ride back a lot more if it starts off with a bang.

 

As usual, it turned out to be worth the headwind out, because it meant a tailwind back. Thanks, Vulcan, for your predictable wind patterns!

 

After the ride, I went on a 6km-ish walk. The novelty of all this walking hasn't worn off after a month and a half, which is cool.

 

An absolutely accidental side-effect of all this time out-of-doors is that I had about 1000 extra calories to work with. I'm trying to keep as close to my Fitbit's 1,600 goal as I can, and long story short this meant a slurpee, a bag of chips, and an Eatmore bar. You don't need to outrun your fork when the lazy-ass fork can't keep up.

 

Fitbit Numbers (for Thursday):
Steps: 10,094 | Floors Climbed: 11/10 | Very Active Minutes: 81/30 | Calories Left: 19

 

Activities (for Thursday)

Bicycling: 00:25:35 | AVS: 19.59 km/h | MXS: 28.39 km/h | Av. Cadence: 68

Bicycling: 00:13:02 | AVS: 38.37 km/h | MXS: 50.22 km/h | Av. Cadence: 82

 

Angry Birds Workout (for Tuesday)

Off

 

[edited for a copy/paste error]

[CandiRose]

I'd also like to take this opportunity to thank, in no particular order:

• Prairie
• CandiRose
• TennisGeek
• Hazard, and
• Greenleaf

   

You guys followed me, and spent time checking up, which is really exciting to a goofball who spent all his time riding bicycles and drawing extremely rushed cartoony things. Thanks, all y'all (an actual Texan taught me that right before he taught me how to properly use a bear banger. True story.)

 

Nyaw *blushes* you are a super cool dude to follow

You have done amazingly at this challenge!! Well done

Hope to stalk your next challenge in a few weeks time xx

[CandiRose]

also can i be really dumb and ask what cadence is? (I havent been on a bike since I was 12)

[Jothra]

Nyaw *blushes* you are a super cool dude to follow

You have done amazingly at this challenge!! Well done

Hope to stalk your next challenge in a few weeks time xx

Thanks, and I intend to return the favour. Fun people are fun.

 

 

also can i be really dumb and ask what cadence is? (I havent been on a bike since I was 12)

There's nothing dumb about that question. In bicycling, cadence is your number of pedal revolutions per minute. I went most of a lifetime without any knowledge of cadence whatsoever. It wasn't until I bought my road bike in 2009 that I even had any idea it was a thing.

 

I measure it with a magnetic sensor placed where the pedal screws into the crank. It's a pretty nerdy number to worry about.

[Jothra]

I didn't make my steps today. There are no two ways about it.

 

I did, however, stay within the calorie goal, and I pushed farther than I expected in the Angry Birds Workout. I'll be progressing to overhead squats. I should break the next pushup level soon. I have my bar, so I'll be moving on to another level in back exercises on Monday. Planks are still the enemy, but I'm getting there.

 

Fitbit Numbers (Friday):
Steps: 6,301
Floors Climbed: 15/10
Very Active Minutes: 30/30
Calories Left: -26 ("You are in the zone")

 

Angry Birds Workout, Day 3 (Friday)

Squats: Goal: 70 reps | set1: 50 reps; set2: 50 reps | Level 4: ***!
Push Ups: Goal: 50 reps | set1: 25 reps; set2: 18 reps; set3: 8 reps | Level 3: **

One-Arm Rows (bar's ready for Monday!): Goal: 30 reps (20lbs.) | set1: 30 reps | Level 1: ***!

Planks: Goal: 180 seconds | set1: 70 seconds; set2: 65 seconds; set3: 50 seconds | Level 3: **

 

I should have gone for a bike ride today. It was beautiful, and if I keep up the higher cadence, squat-beaten legs shouldn't be an issue.

 

I'll just have to go for a loooooooooong ride on Saturday.

[Prairie]

Long ride today, yes! It's a beautiful day.

 

.... at least in central Alberta it is. 

[Jothra]

I'm with family near Lethbridge for the weekend. To make a short story even shorter, I managed 6.5km north on HWY 25 with sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows, then managed 6.5km on the way back with a very active lightning storm nipping at my heels. I beat the storm home with three minutes to spare. Biking on the bald prairie in a lightning storm is a good way to find out if getting hit by lightning will really give you super powers.

 

I kept my cadence up (for me, anyway), so there is that. I also assembled my Everlast Chinning Bar, which was not exactly exercise, but needed doing anyway.

 

Oh, and I got my bike shoes back! Score!

 

Fitbit Numbers (for Saturday):
Steps: 10,185 | Floors Climbed: 14/10 | Very Active Minutes: 35/30 | Calories Left: -49 ("You are in the zone")

 

Activities (for Saturday)

Bicycling: 00:28:54 | AVS: 27.36 km/h | MXS: 36.12 km/h | Av. Cadence: 83

 

Angry Birds Workout (for Saturday)

Off

[Jothra]

So, apparently I should have purchased a wearable Fitbit, because this time I've left it at the family's place in Lethbridge.

 

Idiot.

 

Anyway, the last time my Fitbit and phone had speaks was at, like 2 a.m. or something on Sunday, so I can only guess that my activity level was...well...good. We did spend two hours in Slow Amble mode at Fort Whoop-Up, and I biked a lot, but I'm willing to bet I'm pretty substantially lowballing my calories burned without that Fitbit info. I'll do the best I can with MFP and the exercise information I do have.

 

Fitbit Numbers (for Sunday):
It's a mystery! MFP says 29 calories remaining, though.

 

Activities (for Sunday)

Walking: 02:00:00 | AVS: 18.5 km/h (the slowest setting on MFP, and probably pretty accurate)

Bicycling: 00:38:12 | AVS: 25.88 km/h | MXS: 62.78 km/h | Av. Cadence: 69

Bicycling: 00:45:44 | AVS: 24.51 km/h | MXS: 67.61 km/h | Av. Cadence: 68

I take a longer route home because it's got a slightly less scary hill). Unfortunately, there is no way to go east into Lethbridge or west out of Lethbridge that doesn't involve going down a big hill and then up another big hill. Even more unfortunately, it is basically impossible to go down a hill fast enough to make up for the loss of speed and cadence going up the other side. C'est la vie. I like the route, though I had nearly forgotten about the annoying crosswinds on Highway 25.

 

Angry Birds Workout (for Sunday)

Off

[Jothra]

I finally levelled up in the planks, with a 1:35 and a 1:25, for Level 3's three minute total. Man, planks suck, but at least they're over fast.

 

I put up my new Everlast Chinning Bar, and tried pull ups on it. I managed one reasonable one, one really ugly one, and then got smart and settled for negative pull ups, which I will eventually use to transition to proper pull ups (they seem to hurt me more than inverted rows, so what the heck, why not). Pull ups have never been my strong suit -- even when I was climbing for two hours twice a week. I'll get there. So, modified plan: Level 2 will be 10 Negative Pull Ups, Level 2.5 will be 20 Negative Pull Ups, and hopefully from there I can work up to Level 3, which is 10 Pull Ups.

 

Since the bar is on my bedroom door, there's also nothing stopping me from trying to crank out a proper Pull Up anytime the mood strikes me on the way in or out. My weight may be an issue, but with my build (my shoulders and chest are cartoonishly wide), I suspect my weight will always be an issue. At least I'm slowly minimizing its impact.

 

Fitbit Numbers (Monday):
Who knows? Not me! I did go for what is usually a 6,000-step or so walk, and I was reasonably active at school, but without actual recorded numbers, I don't want to make any assumptions. MFP says 43 calories remaining, for what it's worth.

 

Angry Birds Workout, Day 4 (Monday, with bar!)

Squats: Goal: 100 reps | set1: 60 reps; set2: 40 reps | Level 4: ***!
Push Ups: Goal: 50 reps | set1: 25 reps; set2: 20 reps; set3: 10 reps | Level 3: **

Negative Pull Ups (two poor-form pull ups first): Goal: 10 reps | set1: 1 rep; set2: 1 rep; set3: 6 reps; set4: 2 reps | Level 1: *

Planks: Goal: 180 seconds | set1: 95 seconds; set2: 85 seconds | Level 3: ***!

[Jothra]

Second challenge: Jothra Conquers Himself!

[Lara]

Hi! I've only read a few chapters of your story yet, but I'm liking it a lot. I like the drawings too! You could be a good cartoonist!

I'll keep reading as soon as I got the time, there's something fishy about those slurpasaurus, huh?

[Jothra]

Hi! I've only read a few chapters of your story yet, but I'm liking it a lot. I like the drawings too! You could be a good cartoonist!

I'll keep reading as soon as I got the time, there's something fishy about those slurpasaurus, huh?

 

Thank you! I used to have a weekly comic strip in a paper in Northern British Columbia, but that paper has since disappeared.

 

As for the slurpasaurs, they feature heavily in many, many old science fiction movies. The most hilarious example is Rocketship (a Flash Gordon movie), in which they...are...there? I guess? They were so tangential to the plot that I couldn't stop laughing.

 

So far the only movie I have ever seen that used slurpasaurs to good effect was Disney's Journey To the Center of the Earth, and only because instead of calling them "dinosaurs" they called them "dimetrodon".

[Jothra]

 

     Jothra woke to find a ninja star in his chest. Normally this would have disappointed him greatly, but he hadn't slept well the night before, and it was a good 15 minutes before he finally decided he should be startled.

     "What the nuts?" he shouted. It must not be deep, he realized, since he was substantially alive. He hadn't even realized there were ninja stars in this weird place.

     A strange, ethereal, black-clad shape seemed to materialize in front of him.

 

 

     "It is time," moaned the shape. "The Rebellion believes you are ready for guild assignment. You have been chosen by the Assassins."

     "I thought I would be choosing my own guild."

     The shape, suddenly much closer, yanked the star from Jothra's chest. "We have chosen you. You will need the skills of an assassin to fulfil your destiny. To fail is to die. Do not fail."

     Then, as quickly and mysteriously as it had appeared, the shape was gone. Jothra found himself completely uninjured, though he could see where the strange weapon had torn his shirt. Great, he thought. As if thing weren't complicated enough already.

 

 

Up until the exact day I finished my first challenge, I was positive I was going to be joining the scouts. After all, I've been riding my bike nearly every day for a month and a half, I do recreational bike maintenance (it's healthier than crack, but not always cheaper), and I even have a collection of maybe 30 bicycling-related books in my room.

 

Then, one evening, I suddenly realized I was leaving some things out of the equation. The first is rock climbing. I fell in love with this as a teenager, and the honeymoon still isn't over. There are also hiking (scouty) and scrambling (less scouty). I didn't realize until long after I left my mountainous hometown that what I always referred to as “hiking†was actually light scrambling much of the time. Huh. The more you know.

 

My two favourite active-type activities are easily:

 

a.) Bicycling, which means building muscular and cardiovascular endurance, and

b.) Rock climbing, which means combining muscular endurance and power (strength-to-weight ratio is important here).

 

I want to improve my ability to enjoy both of these things. Obviously, I've been meant for the Assassin's Guild the whole time.

 

When it comes to my baseline, never-working-out strength, I kind of hit the genetic jackpot. I have a strong build. This often means I get lazy about cycling or climbing properly, because I can just laz out and Brute Force it. Instead of spinning faster on my bike and taking advantage of other leg muscle types, I have always been a serious gear masher. Instead of using my legs to support and lift myself when climbing, I have always overused my upper-body strength, which kills me several climbs earlier than I would like (basically every time I've ever climbed, actually). Basically, more strength can only help, but even though relying on brute-forcing all the time is simpler, it's not nearly as effective as doing things properly.

 

1.) Main Quest

My goal is to pursue the all-around fitness I need to perform these very different activities, as well as developing good habits that will make me more efficient at them (because less effort = longer time until exhaustion = more fun!)

 

My three goal-achieving-type-little-goals-that-add-up-to-a-bigger-goal-goals:

 

i.) Do cadence-related bicycle work three days a week (consisting mostly of spinning faster in easier gears on my actual bicycle or my stationary bike). I may well do more biking than this, but three times a week it must involve spinning faster. Keep in mind that for me, that means trying my best to stay over 80 rpm, instead of my usual high 60s. This is more of a habit-building venture, because I always feel so comfortable mashing gears. When finished, always STRETCH, because after years of bicycling I have tight Cyclist Hammies. Easy scoring: __/18. [+3 STA | +2 DEX]

 

ii.) Perform a bodyweight workout three days a week (and not more. Seriously. I'm too tempted to try and do it every day, which is not useful). Even when I was cycling every day and climbing two or three times a week a few years ago, I neglected actual strength training apart from that offered by those activities. It's time to find out just how strong I can become by adding even moderate bodyweight exercises. I am currently working through the Angry Birds Workout, but who knows where it will all lead? When finished, always STRETCH (see above) Easy scoring here, too: __/18 again! [+3 STR | +1 DEX | +1 CHA]

 

iii.) Maintain a minimum activity level, and watch how much I stuff down my food receptacle. I won't be doing any Adjective Dieting, but even so, it turns out if I'm even maintaining baseline activity (10,000 steps a day, measured by my Fitbit), and keeping track of how much I'm eating, this is shockingly easy. It would be just as easy, however, to stop. So don't. A failed day is one in which my calories are more than 50 over goal (I'm at 28-29% body fat, so if I'm under a little, I'm happy, as long as it's not ridiculous), or my activity is under that arbitrary-but-useful 10,000 step number. __/42. [+2 CON | +1 WIS]

 

2) LIFE SIDE QUEST

Play my guitar every single day. I was thinking of a cartooning-related side quest, but my guitar is beautiful, and it wants to be played. Besides, it helps build finger strength, and is really relaxing. In a super pinch, if travelling, cart along a tin whistle or that daffy ukulele or something. __/42. [+1 WIS | +1 CHA]

 

I'm going to determine scores based on percentage ranges, more or less like on my childhood report cards:

 

A = 86-100% | B = 73-85% | C = 66-72% | D = 51-65% | F = 0-50%

 

3) MOTIVATION

 

This is the note I stuck to my door last challenge, and it's already made me way more badass.

 

I've basically already started all of these things, and will continue them until the actual start of the challenge, but the grading will -- of course -- start on the 9th.

 

Good luck, everyone!

[Jothra]

     Jothra wanted to get on with his quest to defeat the evil Ogrod, but the Assassins had other plans. He kept finding tattered, blood-stained notes pinned to his door with daggers, ninja stars, and, on one memorable occasion, a live African porcupine.

     Each note contained a list of exercises and drills meat to help Jothra develop his oft-neglected strength. They were difficult, though he suspected this might be a Jothra problem, and not an Assassin's Guild problem.

 

 

     After a few days of this training, coupled with a bad Roast Echidna from the Fire Village (where did they find all these weird animals?), Jothra's body felt like Jell-O. He collapsed unceremoniously into his bed, and into the blissful slumber of...well...of sleep.

 

I met my calorie goal on Tuesday, but I didn't get any exercise to speak of at all. In fact, I fell asleep at about 4 p.m., woke up in time to cram some food into me, then failed to get properly back to sleep until some terrifyingly early hour. I just felt blah. This particularly bothered me because I haven't had a day like that in the entire month and a half I've been on NF.

 

Wednesday was, by comparison, very active. Maybe too active? Also, I think my dinner (I admit, it was a very rare tangle with Chinese food) disagreed with me somehow (abnormal!), so I was feeling pretty blerchy during Angry Birds. I did it anyway, though my planks went back a step, and my squats burned by the end. I'm not discouraged, though, because my mother told me there'd be days like these!

 

I feel beat up, but I promise it's in a good way.

 

Fitbit Numbers (Tuesday):
I cannot wait to get my Fitbit back this weekend. I was, according to MFP's calorie counter, exactly on-goal.

 

Fitbit Numbers (Wednesday):
73 calories under. I will now stress how much I'm looking forward to having my Fitbit back. It does such a nice job of laying out my information for me!

 

Activities (for Wednesday)

Bicycling: 00:12:12 | AVS: 23.34 km/h | MXS: 34.96 km/h | Av. Cadence: 68 (I sure hit 68 a lot. That must be my default.)

Bicycling: 00:24:58 | AVS: 20.23 km/h | MXS: 28.78 km/h | Av. Cadence: 71 (not bad, for me working against a headwind.)

Bicycling: 00:15:37 | AVS: 31.46 km/h | MXS: 40.37 km/h | Av. Cadence: 81 (this is basically what I strive for at this point.)

The first trip was just to the convenience store and back. The second was down Highway 534, and directly into Mosquito Rock City. The third was the way back. Groovy.

 

Angry Birds Workout, Day 5:

Squats: Goal: 100 reps | set1: 50 reps; set2: 50 reps | Level 4: ***!
Push Ups: Goal: 50 reps | set1: 25 reps; set2: 20 reps; set3: 10 reps | Level 3: **

Negative Pull Ups: Goal: 10 reps | set1: 8 rep; set2: 2 reps | Level 2: *

Planks: Goal: 180 seconds | set1: 60 seconds; set2: 60 seconds; set2: 60 seconds | Level 3: **

 

Tuesday would have looked even worse at actual challenge time, so it's a good thing Wednesday was fun.

[Prairie]

Yay, welcome to the assassins! 

 

"Gear mashing" sounds similar to how I used to ride my bike - I'd just put it in the highest gear I could manage and leave it there regardless of terrain. Not that we had much terrain where I grew up, but yeah.

[Jothra]

By contrast, where I grew up it was all terrain, except inside buildings. It turns out -- I've been rediscovering this since I started the bodyweight workouts -- my legs are far and away the strongest part of my body, even though my shoulders are hilariously large.

[Jothra]

     Jothra's walk to the Fire Village was interrupted by a new sight: a slurpasaur in the woods! They were normally terrified of the woods! And, more importantly...

 

 

     ...this one was a little bigger.

     With a head twice as tall as Jothra, and a tail so long he couldn't see its end, this was the monster to beat all monsters. Like all the other slurpasaurs, this one had a cheesy, glued-on-looking fin, but its teeth were absolutely real enough.

     Without stopping to think, Jothra ran for his life. Despite his hours in the saddle, he knew his cycling wouldn't help him with his running endurance. His only hope was to make the Street Market building before the creature could turn him into a Jothra-kebab.

     Jothra was in luck -- the door was open! He took a flying leap...

 

 

     ...and felt a rush of air as the enormous teeth of the slurpasaur snapped shut centimetres from his feet. Jothra managed to turn his momentum into a roll, and instinctively landed in a crouch facing the creature, with his hands balled into fists, as if he would have a chance against the beast. It didn't matter; the slurpasaur couldn't get his head through the door. Jothra was safe.

     For now.

 

Obviously there was no giant, fake-looking monster in real life, nor did I have to run. I was pretty late getting to the grocery store, though, so I was lucky I could get in and grab the stuff I needed before they closed. Good news: I didn't end up being that guy who kept them open late (yay me!) Nope. The family behind me in line did that.

 

I should have biked. I would have been there about seven or eight times faster. The walk was really nice, though, and it was probably good for my legs to have some lighter exercise for a change. Between the 300 squats a week and all the biking, they probably deserved a nice, easy walk.

 

Fitbit Numbers (Thursday) with extra walking activity built in:
30 calories over, which my Fitbit would be telling me is "in the zone". My phone's pedometer says my walk to the store was 60 minutes at 13.5 min/km (why do people measure it this way? Yeesh), but MFP only has 12 and 15 min/km settings. Oh brudda.

 

Angry Birds Workout:

Off

 

My stomach is starting to feel less blonked after my planks, but my shoulder blades are still totally feeling the negative pull ups. These things always seem at their worst at bedtime the night after I do them. I know that's perfectly normal, but it seems weird to a guy who has spent more than an ordinary amount of time in instantaneous pain from stupid activities in the woods.

 

It's okay, because they aren't screaming too hard, and they felt basically fine all day when I needed them working, and I know they'll get over it soon enough. It's a good thing!

 

Oh, and one last thing: once I have my Fitbit back tomorrow, my recording will be a lot more useful, and certainly better formatted. Besides, without an accurate reading on my daily activity level, it isn't a question of if I'm running more of a calorie surplus than normal, but how low. It'll be nice to be metered again.

[Jothra]

     The Assassins' latest note was simple:

 

     Your training mission begins tomorrow. You will prepare yourself to assassinate The King of the Bird People. A client believes that with the peace-loving fool is standing in the way of the Rebellion's plans to eliminate Ogrod.

     You have six weeks.

     Do not fail.

 

     Okay, Jothra had, deep down, known what joining the Assassin's Guild might mean. He had not, however, expected this problem to arise so soon. He was at a loss -- even if he were able to kill the King of the Bird People in six weeks, he was about 98% percent sure he couldn't make himself do it. And that was giving himself a 2% margin for error.

     He looked up from the note, and saw a face -- or, at least, a face similar to a face -- he hadn't seen in weeks.

     "Oh. You." Jothra was nonplussed at the sight of one of the Old Men. He was almost certain it was the one who had originally released him from Ogrod's underground prison.

     "We know what the Assassins are asking of you," the Old Man said. "They are right, of course, that the King of the Bird People may get in our way. One way or another..."

     Jothra waited. He was getting used to the uncanny amount of time people here spent pausing for effect.

     "...You must make sure the King doesn't present a problem for the Rebellion."

     "But the note says he wants peace! I can't up and kill someone for...well...not being a dick."

     The Old Man sighed. He held out a wrinkled but surprisingly steady hand. "Give me your Tracking Unit."

     Shocked, and with no idea how to react to the situation, Jothra handed his Tracker (his practically brand-new replacement Tracker, given to him by the rebellion only two weeks earlier) to the Old Man, who slipped it into a pocket in his drab, grey robes.

     "If I'm through, do I at least get a trip home out of the deal? I've done everything you've asked," Jothra said, with a barely concealed bitterness hiding cleverly under his tongue.

     "You will take this," the Old Man said. He produced a slate blue bracelet from somewhere, and quickly (frighteningly quickly) attached it to Jothra's wrist.

 

 

     "It is a Model 3.29 Flex Tracking Unit," the Old Man said, probably under the impression that this was some kind of actual explanation. "We don't want a repeat of the Hideous Thing incident if we can help it. It is essentially the same unit, but wearable. Do not take it off."

     Jothra looked at his wrist. He tapped the bracelet a couple of times, and suddenly its lights flashed (like an old-school Cylon, Jothra thought), then a lone light blinked a few times before it all went dark again.

     "There are five lights. The more lights blink when you tap the Flex, the closer you are to achieving your daily training. Good luck."

     In one of the strangest surprises Jothra had received so far, when he looked up again, the Old Man was still standing there. They both looked around awkwardly for a moment.

     "Um," Jothra eventually said. "You're not...hmm."

     The Old Man gave a small start. "Oh, that's right! Leave mysteriously! Right!" He suddenly pointed behind Jothra. "Look, an eagle!"

     Rolling his eyes, Jothra turned and pretended to look. When he turned back, the Old Man was gone.

     Jothra looked at his wrist again, admiring the apparent simplicity of the Flex Unit, and more than a little happy that it would no longer be capable of flashing his name incorrectly on a screen. He wasn't sure what he would do about the King of the Bird People, but this latest meeting gave him hope that whatever it was, he would be in control of his own destiny.

 

First thing's first: I now officially confess that I have used my phone's camera rather than my actual bought-and-paid-for, perfectly capable, 12-year-old LED scanner to digitize nearly every picture that has made it into my battle or challenge logs. I'm not sure why I felt it important to tell you guys that, but there it is.

 

I fix their colour levels and do some very minor edits (mostly erasing so I don't have to break out the white out) and (very) occasionally add colour in The GIMP, which is hands-down my favourite piece of free software. It is an awesome program.

 

With that useless chunk of information out of the way, my challenge starts tomorrow (or, based on the ungodly hour here, later today). I'm pretty excited.

 

I've got some bicycling (lots of it, actually) and some Angry Birds workout stuff from the last three days that I am probably going to be too lazy to add here. I'll just jump right into logging the Challenge Proper, and I'll have fun doing it.

 

So far, after two days, the Fitbit Flex (worn on my dominant wrist and set up as such in its settings) appears to be as accurate as my Fitbit One, but I am absolutely less likely to leave it lying around (or, as in the case of my first One, lose it on a highway and test its resistance to right front tires). I'm actually not missing having a full display at all. The five LEDs give me enough information, in the form of 20% increments, to know how far I've gone and how far I have to go. Good times!

 

Anyway, bed! Good luck, all, and I'll see you with my Challenge Boots on!*

 

*Actual Challenge Boot existence level may vary. Offer void in the state of Utah. Please return unused portion for a full refund.

[Jothra]

     Slowly, one rotten hold at a time, Jothra climbed the cliffs near his house. They were, unfortunately, located in the slurpasaur plains, but he was more or less certain they couldn't jump, and they didn't seem to look up very often. In his latest note from the Assassin's Guild (stuck to his door with a sharpened stick of celery, which he took to mean they were running out of ideas) he had learned that the King of the Bird People lived in a smallish castle at the top of a reasonably high cliff. Climbing practice seemed like the thing to to.

 

 

     He was beginning to feel the effects of his strength work at home, but he knew he had a long way to go. He was, however, excited for the shipment of climbing equipment the Rebellion had promised to send him. The requisition form had taken three hours to fill out. It had included questions like:

 

• #17a.) What is your blood type?
• #69c.) What size of shoes would you wear if your feet were one size smaller than they are now, and you were wearing no socks?
• #134b.) How many fingers do you have, and
• #134c.) How many of these fingers are located on your hands?
• #439a.) Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the Rhino Party?

     His reverie was broken by a roar from below. He risked a glance, and saw a slurpasaur attaching something that looked like a giant ape. Or, more accurately, like a giant ape would look if it were played by a man in an ape suit. It was a good thing Jothra was nearly at the top -- he was going to have to walk the long way around to get home this time.

 

Sorry for the lack of an update for Day 1 of the challenge! I was travelling. Now I am not travelling! Commence!

 

On Day one I hit my step goal, and got a good bike ride in, but I did not do my Angry Birds Workout. My legs were still recovering over doing too many things on Friday. I did, however, throw in my A.B. Workout today (Tuesday) instead, so it all kind of works out, though it does mean no rest day before tomorrow's scheduled shindig. I think I'll be okay.

 

I switched to overhead squats. They're not as bad as I thought, though I think getting up to 100 might be a tad...taxing. I've also switched to decline pushups, just to see...and they were okay. I can tell that moving up in levels with them will be some bloody difficult, but I think I enjoy them despite their deathosity. My feet were elevated 21 inches, which just happens to be the height of my computer chair. Finally, my planks felt much, much better this evening (thank goodness), and my negative pull ups had much better form, I let myself down much more slowly, and was less destroyed by the end. I'll try to double my numbers on that one, then move on to harder things.

 

Fitbit Flex Numbers (for Monday):
Steps: 10,537
Very Active Minutes: 69/30
Calories Left: -17 (You are in the zone)

 

Fitbit Flex Numbers (for Tuesday):
Steps: 10,531
Very Active Minutes: 66/30
Calories Left: -15 (You are in the zone)

 
Activities (for Monday)

Bicycling: DST 16.02 km | TM 00:29:30 | AVS 20.40 km/h | MXS 28.77 km/h | Av. Cadence 81

Keeping my cadence in the 80s may not seem like much, but historically they're usually more in the high 60s.

 

Angry Birds Workout (for Monday but done on Tuesday)

Overhead Squats: Goal: 30 reps | set1: 15 reps; set2: 15 reps; set3: 10 reps | Level 5: ***!
Decline Push Ups: Goal: 20 reps | set1: 10 reps; set2: 10 reps; set3: 5 reps | Level 6: ***!

Negative Pull Ups: Goal: 10 reps | set1: 10 reps | Level 1: **

Planks: Goal: 180 seconds | set1: 90 seconds; set2: 90 seconds | Level 2: ***!

 

 

Even though this post's story involves climbing, due to lack of proximity I've just been working on my strength training for climbing instead. I suspect I'll have a chance at the gym in Lethbridge or my favourite gym in Calgary this weekend. It depends where I decide to go.

[Jothra]

I almost forgot: guitar is two for two so far.

[Prairie]

You're really moving up on that Angry Birds workout! What's an overhead squat?

[Jothra]

I did skip a regular push up level. I decided that if I'm going to kill myself with pushups, they may as well be harder.

An overhead squat is like a regular squat, only with your arms sticking straight up in the universal sign for "I ain't touchin' that."

[Jothra]

No colour this time. Sorry!

 

     Jothra took a bike ride, but he never did make it home that night. Instead, he came to with the sneaking suspicion that he was hanging upside-down with his ankles manacled to a wall. This was confirmed when he opened his eyes to find himself...wait for it...hanging upside-down with his ankles manacled to the wall.

 

 

     His bicycle, pack, helmet, goggles, and shoes were lying in pile Jothra could only describe as an attempt at a careless heap carried out by someone who had been told what a careless heap looked like, but had never seen one himself. His things were artfully strewn about in a surprisingly pleasing display of visual art acumen.

     Also, his shirt was falling down around his chin. This was less artisanal.

     "You had better get used to being upside-down," said a voice, in a way that implied that its owner had been told at length what a menacing voice should sound like, but had never tried it before. "You're going to be here a long time. Long Live The King!"

 

I'm doing handstand prep, a la the first week of side-challenging. I'll update there tonight.

 

I saved the Angry Birds Workout for Thursday. I suspect my next one will be Saturday. Then I can get back on schedule on Monday, without missing any days. Keen!

 

I went on a reasonably long bike ride Wednesday. I promise I was working on spinning; I thought I could use my MTB's computer on the way out, and roadie's on the way back. I don't have a cadence measurement for the way out, and the way back looks terrible because of the headwind (especially on the big hills right after I turned around, and near the end when the wind really picked up). I'm not sure I've ever spent so much time in 3rd gear.

 

Also, while my Fitbit only recorded 6,983 steps, I think biking 35 kilometres has me covered as far as baseline activity is concerned.

 

Fitbit Flex Numbers (for Wednesday):
Steps: 6,983
Very Active Minutes: 84/30
Calories Left: 19 (You are in the zone)

 
Activities (for Wednesday)

Bicycling: DST 17.70 km | TM 00:37:09 | AVS 28.60 km/h | MXS 49.26 km/h | Av. Cadence N/A

Bicycling: DST 17.67 km | TM 00:45:29 | AVS 23.31 km/h | MXS 41.53 km/h | Av. Cadence 72

 

Angry Birds Workout (moved to Thursday)

Off

 

Guitar is yes.

[Jothra]

     Jothra wasn't about to take this situation lying down. You know, apart from the fact that he was manacled upside-down to a wall. He wrenched his body from side to side until he heard a satisfying crumble of stone above (below?) hi, and his chains very improbably pulled from the wall. He was obviously starting to get the hang of this world's narrative conventions.

     Without taking the time to think over the first part of his escape too deeply (that would be a good way to go mad), Jothra quickly picked himself up off the floor, and got ready to spring at the owner of the eerily familiar voice. What he saw was not, however, an eerily familiar person. Instead he saw a wall-sized monitor with an eerily familiar person's eerily familiar face on it.

     He was looking at himself.

 

 

     He...that is to say, evilly-smirking-Jothra-on-the-monitor he...was identical to Jothra in every way but one; his expression exuded pure nastiness. Not pure evil, mind you. This was pure pettiness. Pure jerkiness. This wasn't the face of a man who would make his own suction-cup Garfields out of real kittens, but it was certainly the face of a man who would laugh if someone else did.

     "Hello, Jothra," said the nasty-faced him. "I'll bet you never seen this coming!"

     "No," said Jothra. "I mean, sure, who hasn't imagined running into another version of himself someday? But I didn't expect you to say things like 'you never seen.' That's pretty awful."

     Mean Jothra scowled. "Go ahead and crack wise while you can. I'm not going to tell you where I came from, or how I came to be, but I am going to get to the King of the Bird People before you, and when I do, I'm going to make sure he regrets living long enough for me to get to him..." There was a pause as Mean Jothra trailed off. "...Before...you. Before you could. Bef...I WILL DESTROY YOU!"

     The screen went blank.

     Unsurprisingly, Jothra was worried. This Mean Jothra didn't seem like the sharpest bulb in the drawer, but sometimes a bitter attitude is all you need to see you through. Jothra wasn't about to make any of the obvious comparisons to light and dark, but he did know one thing -- his mission had changed. Whatever the Assassin's Guild was after could wait. For now, his real mission was to get to the King of the Bird People before Mean Jothra.

     What would happen then was anybody's guess.

 

Until about half an hour ago, I honestly thought the title of this thread was just a vague allusion to the purpose of my real-life challenge. This just kind of wrote itself. Hooray for blunt literalism!

 

I'm doing the first-week mini-challenge (handstands!), but I'm not going to record it here, except to say I should have done it before my negative pull ups this evening.

 

I did Angry Birds again tonight, and owned Level 3 of the planks. Level 4 may be a million years away, but I think a 105-second plank followed by a 75 second-plank will do for now.

 

Decline pushups are substantially harder, but I'm enjoying them more, so I think skipping the last bit of regular pushups was worth it (if only because I feel super badass when I do decline ones).

 

I accidentally levelled up in overhead squats, though I think the next level might be more trouble. It says Level six is jump squats, so I don't have to work up through to 100+ reps in overhead squats? Well, if you say so. I think I can do that. If not, I'll readjust.

 

Tonight's negative pull ups felt much more controlled toward the end of the set. I even threw in two extras in a second set, though at this point I think numbers are coming second to slowing down. Eventually I'll probably grab some resistance bands somewhere for assisted pull ups before I jump whole-hog into actual pull ups. Then I can start legit levelling up.

 

Right before Angry Birds, I went for a short-ish bike ride, There was a very slight headwind on the way back, but I apparently worked hard enough to keep my average speed and cadence up. Not that I was paying too much attention to my numbers -- I just spun really fast and watched the view. It was beautiful this afternoon and evening. I'm sorry all of you weren't here to see it.

 

Fitbit Flex Numbers (for Thursday):
Steps: 10,953 (long walk; very nice)
Very Active Minutes: 64/30
Calories Left: 43 (You are in the zone)

 
Activities (for Thursday)

Bicycling: DST 9.57 km | TM 00:20:50 | AVS 27.70 km/h | MXS 39.21 km/h | Av. Cadence 85

 

Angry Birds Workout (for Wednesday but done on Thursday)

Overhead Squats: Goal: 30 reps | set1: 30 reps; set2: 20 reps | Level 5+: ***!
Decline Push Ups: Goal: 20 reps | set1: 15 reps; set2: 10 reps | Level 6: ***!

Negative Pull Ups: Goal: 10 reps | set1: 10 reps; set2: 2 reps | Level 1: **

Planks: Goal: 180 seconds | set1: 105 seconds; set2: 75 seconds | Level 3: ***!

 

Guitar is yes. Super yes. After I took those pictures this afternoon, I played it for quite awhile, before I realized I should get outside while the sun was still up.

[Jothra]

     Jothra dropped by a market stall in the Fire Village, and saw corn dogs for sale. He felt slightly ill at ease -- not just because he had a new enemy to battle, but because he was pretty sure that corn dogs were not a thing he should be finding on another planet.

     "Excuse me," he asked the terrifyingly large man behind the stall counter. The man was not terrifyingly large in girth so much as in height, reaching at least eight feet, even if you didn't count his rather unconvincing but incredibly spiky mohawk.

     "Rurgdinnit," the man grumbled. Language, Jothra decided, was not this man's primary language.

     "Where do these corn dogs come from? We have them on my world, but they seem pretty out of place here."

     The man scratched his head. Even for his long arms, this was a bit of a hard reach. Jothra was amazed that the man didn't skewer his hand on his dangerous-looking hair.

     "Ranch 'em meself. They's mostly daid, but some maight be wigglin' a little."

     Jothra waited for the man to say "just kidding." After a few seconds, the man indeed continued.

     "Uv course, if'n they's movin', I just uses a hammer, I does."

     Jothra looked at the man blankly. Then he shrugged, and bought some corn dogs anyway.

     The man was right. They mostly didn't move much at all.

 

 

Friday was a pretty good day. I got to go for a decent bike ride in some torrential-downpour-grade rain. It was literally raining cats and dogs. Ha ha! Just kidding. It was figuratively raining cats and dogs. I will not ride my bike if it is literally raining cats and dogs.

 

Anyway, I wasn't working on cadence (or speed), because when it's that rainy it's noodle time. Noodle noodle noodle! I've already met my weekly cadence work requirement anyway. And so, despite not bringing my clip-on fender with me, I had a very nice ride.

 

While getting ready to visit family on Friday, I decided to see if I could do any chin ups, since I read somewhere (probably hereabouts) that they are easier than pull ups. It turns out I can do one per set, so I ended up doing 12, one each time I went through my bedroom door. Good times. I'm going to keep doing these, on the grounds that more back exercises means more extra pull up prep.

 

Saturday was a lousy day from a Nerd Fitness perspective. I only made about 2,800 steps. I didn't ride my bike at all. I did my A.B. workout, minus the negative pull ups because I didn't bring my bar (which is part of the reason I did the chin ups on Friday. Prolepsis wins the day!) My calories are over, though not ridiculously so (I'm still well under maintenance). It's my first boner day since I started my first challenge in April, but I'm not too worried, because it's back to routine tomorrow.

 

Aaaaaaah, perspective.

 

It was probably worth the corn dog lunch on Saturday just for the drawing material. Anthropomorphism is fun!

 

Fitbit Flex Numbers (for Friday)
Steps: 10,792
Very Active Minutes: 25/30 (I don't know why it only counted 2 active minutes during P.E. I ran like a lunatic for half an hour. I was ready to collapse.)
Calories Left: 35 (You are in the zone)

 
Activities (for Friday)

Bicycling: DST 7.92 km | TM 00:21:33 | AVS 22.79 km/h | MXS 36.12 km/h | Av. Cadence 75

 

Fitbit Flex Numbers (for Saturday)
Steps: 2,845 (boooooooooooooOO!)
Very Active Minutes: 1/30
Calories Left: -585 (You are over budget)

 

Angry Birds Workout (for Friday but done on Saturday; except for trying chin ups, I didn't push any boundaries)

Overhead Squats: Goal: 30 reps | set1: 30 reps; set2: 20 reps | Level 5+: ***!
Decline Push Ups: Goal: 20 reps | set1: 15 reps; set2: 10 reps | Level 6: ***!

Chin Ups: Goal: 10 reps | sets1-12: 1 rep each | Level 1: **

Planks: Goal: 180 seconds | set1: 90 seconds; set2: 90 seconds | Level 3: ***!

 

Guitar is yes for Friday.

Tin Whistle is yes for Saturday. I grabbed one of my Ds on the way out the door (I keep all of my musical instruments in just about the most centrl spot in my whole apartment). I practised "The Gael" (it's pretty), and worked out approximately how to play the theme from Kung Fu.

 

You know, Saturday looks less disappointing now that it's written down. Sweet!