I am fed up with my own excuses

[KGB]

Hi. 

 

I have been "wanting to lose weight" for ten years now, or a third of my life.  That's depressing.

 

As a child and teenager, I was naturally very thin, to the point of being called "anorexic" as a teen (I was not).  I was 5'7" and 120 pounds at 17, wearing a size 2.  When I was 19, I began a fitness journey that included swimming 3 times a week (college swimming class), taking Tae Kwon Do classes 3 alternating nights, and doing work-out DVDs at home when I was bored (all this was partially to cope with the deployment of my then-husband).  I gained 15 pounds of muscle (total of 135, size 5/6) and looked great...even had some ab definition.  Unfortunately, it didn't last long.  Around my 20th birthday, my battle with depression worsened and I stopped working out, but kept eating all those extra calories that had been feuling my workouts.  I quickly lost my definition and gained fat.  We got divorced, I moved and changed jobs a few times, and just generally didn't take care of myself.  I'm now happily re-married and have 2 great children (almost 5, and almost 2) with Mr. KGB.  Unfortunately, I now weigh 183 pounds (I was 165 before the children, got back down to that before the second pregnancy, and then was 175 after the second...the remaining 8 pounds have been packed on since Christmas).  My size 12 pants are too tight, and I am "lucky" enough to carry my weight in my belly, so that I look 5 months pregnant in all my favorite dresses (and have been asked by co-workers if I am pregnant!).   

 

I have a full-time desk job, and a sedentary lifestyle.  I am the queen of excuses.  I'm too tired.  I'm too hungry.  I don't feel good.  I am depressed.  I need to do laundry.  The list goes on.  Interestingly, a lot of my excuses could actually be cured by exercising...except the laundry!   I am Southern, and my default cooking style is definitely Southern Comfort Food, heavy on carbs.  I also think I have a sugar addiction.  I stopped liquid calories (mostly Cokes and Sweet Tea) about a month ago, but my job always has candy, cookies, doughnuts (it's so hard to resist a Krispy Kreme!) around. 

 

Mr. KGB has also gained a lot of weight during our relationship (probably 50-60 pounds in the past 8 years), but I feel he is in denial about it.  He just isn't ready to make the changes necessary to get rid of it.  I am.  He also doesn't consider it a "meal" unless there are meat and carbs.  In his head, he's still the 25-year old Navy dude he was 13 years ago, and he could do a few sit-ups and his gut would be gone.  I haven't talked to him about it, but I think that if I try to go paleo, even partially, that I'll just have to cook twice.  I don't think he'll be on board at this point.  Maybe he will if he sees me making results.

 

That's not to say that he isn't supportive of me; he just doesn't want to change his status quo.  We tried doing Zumba together in the living room earlier this year, which worked well for the first 2 days until our 4-year old decided that she needed to do it too, which made it impossible to do (not enough room to keep from running over her).

 

Beginning last week, I joined the YMCA and have been 4 times so far, which I think is a good start.  I have to get up at 4:45 AM because I have to be home by 6AM, when Mr. KGB leaves for work so the kids aren't home alone.  The Y opens at 4:30, so I'm hoping to be able to get up a little earlier to get in longer workouts once I'm a little further along in my fitness journey.  I am not a morning person, but it's the only time I can consistently carve out for myself.  I have actually loved getting out of the house alone and doing something for myself.

 

The first week, I did 30 minutes on a Crossramp (almost like an elliptical, but no arm movements) on two days, and this week I've done 30 minutes on a rowing machine on two days.  I really like the rowing machine.  I'd like to try strength training with free weights, but at this point, I'm pretty intimidated by other people at the gym.  When I'm on a machine, I can sort of put my blinders on and try to ignore everyone...not sure if I could do the same while working the free weights. 

 

I have a strong family history of heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, etc.  I honestly do not know if these are genetic or lifestyle, because everyone in my family is also very overweight/obese by medical terms.  In either event, I need to get fit ASAP, and make it a life-long journey.  I suffer from depression.  I have no energy.  My skin's a mess.  I am exhausted but have trouble sleeping.  All of this can be helped by striving towards fitness.  I must do it now.

 

Current Plans and Goals (in no particular order):

*I turned 30 in February, and my initial weight loss goal is to lose 30 pounds before my 31st birthday.  More would be better.    I don't know what my goal weight would be...I'm more focused on obtaining and maintaining a level of fitness and health that works for my body and lifestyle.

*Climb the 77 stairs from the basement of the building to my office without being winded.  Is that even possible?  At least "without being so winded I cannot speak."

*Make it to the gym 4 days a week.  No excuses!  Even a 20 minute workout is better than no workout.

*Walk on my lunch break whenever possible (beautiful 1 mile track around a park next to my office and walking shoes under my desk...no excuses [except rain])!

*Be more active in my every day life.  Plan active outings with the kids on the weekends.  Take up a physical family hobby, such as biking or kayaking.

*Get more sleep (go to bed before 10PM since I have to get up so early...maybe earlier)

*Deal with the sugar issue.  I don't know if this means "cut out sugar completely", or something more moderate.  But I can't keep stuffing my face with this crap.

*Be a good role model for my kids so that they always have a foundation of fitness in their lives.

*Break out of my turtle shell.  Make friends.  Do things.  Live life. 

*I'd like to bring my husband along for the ride, when he's ready.  He's 8 years older than I am.  Neither one of us are getting any younger.

 

I'd like to become a part of this community.  I'd love to meet new people and help keep each other motivated.  I am excited about eventually joining the challenges. 

 

Thanks for reading. Sorry for the book!

[Nightside]

Hi there, when it comes to excuses quite a number on us have travelled on that bus.

You have a full time job and two young children and on top of that your getting up and going to the gym at the crack of dawn, you have my admiration.

I would point out that weight loss is by a large degree based on diet and a far smaller percentage on exercise, you have the right idea with Paleo as it is very effective and shows good results without hunger (although it can be boring at times). You don't need to be cooking two meals as such just avoid the high Carb stuff, you can have your steak or chicken or whatever with a salad of veggies and he can have the potatoes or fries.

When it comes to exercise I have found high intensity interval cardio to be very effective, try Googling it or visit the "fat burning man" site for info.

Become an active member of this site it can pull you through the bad days and get you back on track.

Good luck and keep posting.

[NamelessGeek]

It's amazing what the 30th birthday does to us. Mine is still looming (July), but the dread of its approach has motivated me to sign up and get in gear. I'll be struggling for a healthier lifestyle right with you. 

 

WE GOT THIS!

[KGB]

Thank you, both of you.    I am surprised at how motivating a couple of "strangers'" posts can be.  I read your replies on Friday, and they really bolstered my spirits. 

 

I actually got up at 5:30 on Saturday because I thought the gym opened at 6...but no one was there!  It opens at 7 on Saturdays.  Better luck next week.  Instead of going back home and back to bed, I went to WalMart and got some workout clothes so that I won't have to wear the same thing every time I go. 

 

I made my family cinnamon rolls and eggs for breakfast, but I had a pepper/onion/spinich omelet.  It was a small victory, but a step in the right direction.  I am definitely eating fewer carbs and less sugar than I was 2 weeks ago, but there is still a lot of room for improvment.  Baby steps are still steps!

 

Nightside, you are right, and I hadn't thought of it that way as far as cooking.  Tonight we are having pot roast, and the rest of the family will have it over noodles.  I'll skip the noodles and gravy and just have mine with veggies.  Maybe I'll do a cauliflower mash. 

 

Let's go, Nameless! 

 

No gym this morning.  My excuses won today.  They will not tomorrow!

 

I weighed in on Sunday at 181.5 (1.5 pounds lost in 2 weeks).  It might just be water weight, but I'll take it. 

[Greenleaf]

 

I made my family cinnamon rolls and eggs for breakfast, but I had a pepper/onion/spinich omelet.  It was a small victory, but a step in the right direction.  I am definitely eating fewer carbs and less sugar than I was 2 weeks ago, but there is still a lot of room for improvment.  Baby steps are still steps!

 

 

Well you definitely seem to have the right idea, every little victory gets you closer to your goals (and to awesomeness). With an attitude like that results will follow.

 

Good luck!

[pyjamazombie]

Heyy!  I'm a Southerner too!  (Well, I was born/raised in Mississippi/Memphis)

 

It's always a challenge when your partner is not on board.  Just be honest and tell him how important it is to you!  Of course, even if your husband understands, your kids probably won't want to give up those cinnamon rolls.

 

I agree with what other posters have said.  Make dinner like usual, but maybe just make yourself a salad or steamed veggies for a side instead of the mashed potatoes or noodles or whatever.   Steer away from breaded meat and things like that.  Seems like you've got a plan!  Good luck!

[Allen Titan]

Welcome to the Forums. Procrastination is my weakness, I'm the guy that did 10 weeks worth of work on the last day of a Term at school and then complained like an idiot school stresses me out and I didn't start seriously thinking about change until a part of my brain asked what I was doing. Just got to find your thing then you will have all the time in the world. I'm an artist and have created a lot of characters, and in my stress I subconsciously made a character based off me that is nowhere near happy just settling and that's the main nagging force in my head, but guess not everyone can do that. 

 

In the words of Mary Poppins, I spoonful of Sugar makes the Medicine go down, and for every job that must be done there is an element of fun. Recently I changed my music after a friend studying to be a psychologist said my music may be depressing me and now when I do laundry I end up dancing with my basket as I walk there and singing louder than I should, sounds silly, but dancing with a heavy object (Even though my dancing is bad) and singing is just a small change I don't notice till I sit down  and realized how heavy my clothes were. (Since you believed Laundry can't be fixed with exercise )

[KGB]

Haha, good point, Allen!    I'm glad you found a way to dance with your laundry.  That's a good point...look for ways to "level up" the things I have to do anyway to use them to work towards my fitness goals. 

 

I resolve to not use the elevator today.  I work on the 3rd floor and have to visit the basement throughout the day.  Let's see how many flights of stairs I can hit today (I wear a Fitbit that tracks such things). 

 

I am trying to make today a "no sugar" day, meaning I will not hit the candy jars and baskets that I normally do, and will not "treat" myself with sweets.  I normally do a lot of that.  I didn't even lick the jelly spoon after making my daughter's PBJ this morning.  I have got to break this sugar cycle. 

 

I did 30 minutes on the rowing machine this morning and I feel great!

[Nightside]

Haha, good point, Allen!    I'm glad you found a way to dance with your laundry.  That's a good point...look for ways to "level up" the things I have to do anyway to use them to work towards my fitness goals. 

 

I resolve to not use the elevator today.  I work on the 3rd floor and have to visit the basement throughout the day.  Let's see how many flights of stairs I can hit today (I wear a Fitbit that tracks such things). 

 

I am trying to make today a "no sugar" day, meaning I will not hit the candy jars and baskets that I normally do, and will not "treat" myself with sweets.  I normally do a lot of that.  I didn't even lick the jelly spoon after making my daughter's PBJ this morning.  I have got to break this sugar cycle. 

 

I did 30 minutes on the rowing machine this morning and I feel great!

Great stuff, all the little things add up and become big things, make every day a "no sugar day", don't use elevators, park a distance and walk the final half mile to your destination, get off the train a stop early and walk, lots of little things.

Btw I'm a southerner as well, southern England that is.

[KGB]

I really feel like I did great yesterday!  I didn't have any sweets and didn't add sugar to anything.  My willpower was faltering around 3PM, and I had a 100 calorie bag of plain almonds to get me through to dinner.  I did have rice with dinner, but I only had about half a cup instead of probably 1.5 cups that I would have eating (that's a lot of rice...).  I did my 30 minutes of rowing in the wee hours of the morning, I walked for 20 minutes at lunch, and overall, I had a great day!

 

I got a bit of a late start today and only worked in 20 minutes of cardio at the gym, but it got a good sweat going and I feel good.  I did add about 2 teaspoons of agave to my smoothie automatically this morning before I thought about it.  I think it would be plenty sweet without it, with the banana and carrots. 

 

I'm struggling right now because there are doughnuts in the break room.  Fresh, local, amazing, over-sized doughnuts.  But no.  I will not indulge. 

[KGB]

I have decided to start a Battle Log:

 

http://rebellion.nerdfitness.com/index.php?/topic/48129-kgb-battle-log/

[Nightside]

Glad to see that you are on the right path.

 

Just keep on keeping on.