I need to VENT...

[momburntdinner]

I don't feel good about myself AT ALL right now.  Out of ALL my goals that I set up for myself, the only thing I am getting 100% on is taking the stairs at work.

 

I weight exactly the same as four weeks ago.  

 

I only went to the gym ONCE this week (Tuesday.)  If I was busy to the point where I couldn't go, I would feel okay with that fact.  But I had PLENTY of time to go at least once more.  I had PLENTY of time to go for a jog, or do arm exercises with weights or bands, or anything and I didn't do anything.  This week I fail, and it feels horrible.  It feels horrible to the point where I feel like giving up.  I know that I want/need to make exercise a priority in my life, but that hasn't gotten through my thick skull yet.  

 

Maybe my goals need to be altered to reflect a non weight-related goal.  I'm not losing.  I eat a caloric deficit and I eat 80% healthy; protein and healthy fats and carbs from veggies.  I log 5/7 days of the week.  I may not do high impact cardio as many days as I want to, but I do get out and move.  Numbers.  Numbers are frustrating.  And numbers wouldn't be frustrating if I felt the difference in my clothing; pants fitting looser, shirts looking better, sweaters fitting looser; none of this.  If ANYTHING, my pants feel TIGHTER.  I.  Am.  FRUSTRATED.

 

One night last week I completely broke down from feeling like a failure in every sense of my life.  I literally sat on the floor of Shawn's office and sobbed until I finally had a panic attack about being a bad mom.  That's a whole 'nother ballgame, but everything was getting to me and it all came out at once.  I think I freaked Shawn (boyfriend) out a bit.  Being the spectator to someone's panic attack is never fun.

 

It's my own fault and now I need a kick in the ass to get back on track.  It's just so frustrating, and I don't think if I'm alone that I will get back on track.

[JPrev]

It sounds like you're being too hard on yourself, and there are more things than fitness on your mind.  The more you antagonize yourself and the more you pile on, the more overwhelmed and paralyzed you'll become.  Vicious cycle, that.

 

You're saying it yourself: a more holistic view would benefit you.  Not just towards your weight loss, but maybe for your other goals in life as well.  I don't like how much people tend to tie their sense of self-worth into nutrition and fitness.  Reassess your goals, start small, and play for the big picture.

 

For your fitness goals, I think you know where to begin.  Forget setting fat loss numbers for now.  Beginner goals are about consistency of habits, not outcomes.  The outcomes will follow the habits, and where there are no good, consistent habits, there will be no good, consistent outcomes.  So stop worrying about if you're gaining or losing, or even how well something fits.  Instead, focus entirely on how often you're exercising, and how well you're sticking to whatever dietary protocol you've chosen.  Get a strong foundation going, and then you can start tweaking things to get the numbers moving in the right direction.

[pyjamazombie]

I can't really advise you as far as changing your routine goes, but I can tell you this.  I've been there, and I'm pretty sure everyone has.  Getting healthy isn't easy.  But you've taken a lot of great steps forward already!  You may have failed this past week, but today is a new day!  Even if you started the day with a bad breakfast or something, you can always take this VERY moment to make the change. 

 

It sounds like this is really important to you, so I know you can do it!  Don't be too hard on yourself when you mess up. Be kind and tell yourself the same thing you'd tell your best friend if they were struggling.  "Better luck next time, you can do it!"

[MadPict]

 

I don't feel good about myself AT ALL right now.  Out of ALL my goals that I set up for myself, the only thing I am getting 100% on is taking the stairs at work.

 

I weight exactly the same as four weeks ago.  

 

I only went to the gym ONCE this week (Tuesday.)  If I was busy to the point where I couldn't go, I would feel okay with that fact.  But I had PLENTY of time to go at least once more.  I had PLENTY of time to go for a jog, or do arm exercises with weights or bands, or anything and I didn't do anything.  This week I fail, and it feels horrible.  It feels horrible to the point where I feel like giving up.  I know that I want/need to make exercise a priority in my life, but that hasn't gotten through my thick skull yet.  

 

Maybe my goals need to be altered to reflect a non weight-related goal.  I'm not losing.  I eat a caloric deficit and I eat 80% healthy; protein and healthy fats and carbs from veggies.  I log 5/7 days of the week.  I may not do high impact cardio as many days as I want to, but I do get out and move.  Numbers.  Numbers are frustrating.  And numbers wouldn't be frustrating if I felt the difference in my clothing; pants fitting looser, shirts looking better, sweaters fitting looser; none of this.  If ANYTHING, my pants feel TIGHTER.  I.  Am.  FRUSTRATED.

 

One night last week I completely broke down from feeling like a failure in every sense of my life.  I literally sat on the floor of Shawn's office and sobbed until I finally had a panic attack about being a bad mom.  That's a whole 'nother ballgame, but everything was getting to me and it all came out at once.  I think I freaked Shawn (boyfriend) out a bit.  Being the spectator to someone's panic attack is never fun.

 

It's my own fault and now I need a kick in the ass to get back on track.  It's just so frustrating, and I don't think if I'm alone that I will get back on track.

 

 

Very different journey, but I hear your pain. My method will unlikely work for you, but I shall share mine anyway.

 

I am essentially fueled by little more than anger, both at humanity in general, and at the world for giving me a 'problematic' body. When I go to work and observe 'healthy' people unable to lift a 10kgs bucket without hurting themselves, I pick up two then go stomping off. Later in the day, the weights (as in a workout) seems much more fun.

 

You have stated you had time to go, but did not go, so you must consider why. If depression for example is an issue, that will likely stop most attempts at self improvement, as it saps your motivations/power/willpower/self-love/anger. If thats the case, my only suggetion would be to basically get someone else to be your power for a bit. If that is not available? Remember how horrible you feel over the failure, its a poor substitute, but if its all that you have got....

[Rostov]

It's hard, but there are positives to take from your progress so far.  Look, I've found them for you

 

 

I am getting 100% on is taking the stairs at work. [That's one permanent sustainable habit you've built]

 

I went to the gym ONCE this week (Tuesday.)  [That's one more than a lot of people, and it's better than not going at all]

 

I eat a caloric deficit and I eat 80% healthy; protein and healthy fats and carbs from veggies.  [That's progress in terms of building habits]

 

I may not do high impact cardio as many days as I want to, but I do get out and move.  [Think this is really important - incorporating walking etc into daily routines is a fantastic habit]

[Elastigirl]

It's hard, but there are positives to take from your progress so far.  Look, I've found them for you

This^^ You have made great improvements. It can be so frustrating waiting for the results. But it will happen. You are making good progress.