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The many facets of eXistenZorcise: a memoir

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Accountability is a massive thing for me. I have all the will in the world to go and do something and get really good at it, but unless I have somewhere to write it down and someone to tell me what I'm doing is useless, or that I'm doing really well, then inevitably I stop and fall into old habits.

Exercise is no different. Over the last 18 months my weight has yo-yoed, my lifts have increased and stalled and I've varied wildly in my body image.


No more! By making myself accountable to you lot here, I will ensure that I stick at it. But to try and make it interesting for you too, I will write each of my entries in a different writing style! I'll try my best to include everything that's relevant to where I am and where I want to be with regards to food and exercise


To start with, some info about where I am at the moment:


BW: 90kg (14st 4lb/200lb)

Height: 5ft 11


Squat PB: 110kg (May 2013), Deadlift PB: 130kg (June 2013) Bench PB: 70kg (September 2013)


Where I want to be:

BW: Don't care.

Squat: 2x BW (so 180kg), Deadlift: 200kg, Bench 1x BW (90kg)


Also, my OH is currently training to do her 1st 5k in July so I am training with her. I've never done much running before but I'm enjoying the different challenge it is bringing!


I'll be writing the first full entry tomorrow (in an as yet undetermined style) but if there is anything you'd like me to mention please let me know!

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How long have you been lifting for?


I'm similar in size to you (5ft 9-10 and 87kg). I'm just starting lifting and doing stronglifts. I don't know what my PRs yet.

Are you on a regime for the running? Again similar to you, running is something i've never done much of and i'm absolutely terrible at it. I'm ok at sprinting, but longer distance has always been a no-no. Because of that the ability to do a 5k has always been on my "like to do" list for after i dropped my weight.

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I've been lifting for about 18 months on and off. I'll go through a period of say 3-4 weeks of doing some consistent lifting and starting to rack up the weight and then start to lose interest, not go for say 2 weeks and then start the cycle all over again.


I started doing SL 5x5 and I have to say it's brilliant because it's so simple. I can't stick to it though due to gym/work time constraints so have to improvise. At the moment I try to ensure I squat at least twice a week, bench at least twice a week, DL at least once and then work in OHPs, pull ups, dips, push ups and other full body exercises like one arm dumbbell snatches.


I actually have done a 5k in the past. Dressed as Santa Claus. I was at my lowest weight too at 12st 6lb (not sure what this is in kg, maybe about 80?). We're doing the couch to 5k because it worked for me. After the race in July I'll see if I want to continue it.


How long have you been doing SL?

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I've done 1 SL workout, lol. I was doing my own thing for a few weeks before that, just trying to work out weights for a dumbbell routine and generally just being a disorganised mess with it all.
So, i bought some more plates and a barbell, told myself deadlifts weren't scary and off i went. Its my 2nd workout tonight, i'm doing mon-weds-fri.

Running, historically, has never agreed with me. I would think nothing of swimming 1.5-2km but ask me to run that and i'd probably melt into some sort of useless puddle. One day! I'm gonna look up couch to 5k, cheers.

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Day 1 Part 1:


This morning began strangely. Was it the knowledge that below us, beneath our feet, on this very ground, that the Earth was spinning at an incomprehensible speed? Hurtling through space? Only those at the Miskatonic University could tell us that. No. It was the thought of pounding the pavement. I knew from looking at my partner straight away that this would be a trial for both of us. And a trial it was. We should have ran yesterday. But after a night haunted by the Old Ones (ed - the hot weather in the UK), Monday morning proved to be impossible.


Barely had we broke a sweat when an unexpected creeping dread began to descend on us. Through our mind's eye we could see the Ancient Old Ones breathing down our necks. This continued for a whole 17 minutes and 23 seconds as we alternated between a fast walk and a slow jog, all the while in sheer outright terror until we reached our goal of exactly 2km.


We both knew that this was not the end...


(points if you get the style I attempted to write in)

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No time for a stylised update today, quick note of yesterday's workout below. I had my lunch hour so reduced it to the bare essentials. All are 5 reps and weight is in kg


Barbell Squat: 20, 50, 60, 60, 70, 90, 90, 90

Bench: 20, 40, 40, 50, 60, 70, 70, 70

Overhead Press (OHP): 20, 20, 30, 30, 37.5, 40, 40, 40


Was really pleased because I managed to equal my PB on the OHP and bench and squeeze the whole thing in about 45 mins!

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