In which Sarah Barr discovers new lands.

[Sarah Barr]

The little hobbit pulled out her World Map. It was very blurry. She knew that when she explored a new area, it would stop being blurry, and the blurriness annoyed her more than the possibility of all the ticks and other biting things that live in the blurry bits. She then wiped her glasses, and saw familiar streets crystal clear around big green blurry blobs. Hmm, said the little hobbit, I have lived here for nearly six years, and I have still never seen what lives up there on that really high green blurry blob...

 

The little hobbit dug out her moth-eaten adventuring rucksack and promptly filled it with some interesting, plastic-melting insect repellent, and her trusty water bottle. 

 

She picked up her battered old walking staff, and stood on her doorstep. She stretched her hobbit feet and wiggled her fluffy toes. She sucked the fresh, cool air in through her nose and smiled.

 

She couldn't remember the words to "the road goes ever on and on", so she hummed the Jurassic Park theme as she marched towards the nearest green blurry blob.

 

 

I passed last challenge comfortably, and am very happy with that.

I worked out a decent system with which to record calories, macros, water intake, exercise, and so on.

 

This challenge, I want to build on the strength training I made reasonable progress with last time. I want to keep tabs on my food intake, but most of all, I want to get outdoors, ever! It's summer! It's currently raining! It's often raining! But it's summer!

 

 

 

So, my overall quest is, as always, to eventually become a cracking field ecologist, and to do that, I need to lose weight, get strong and be able to do some proper hiking. 

 

 

 

Here are my three main challenge quests:

 

1) You will be given a quest every weekend by various people in various places around the city. Complete each quest to receive a reward, and fit all the rewards together to get something that will help you in your journey.

You'll see each week what these quests are, but they involve walking or hiking in some capacity. And a little roleplaying. The final reward will be revealed after the last quest is completed. 

Grading: Go up a grade for every quest I complete. So all 6 = A+, 0 = F.

Contingency Plan: If it's bucketing down or I can't afford to travel about, well, I have waterproofs and a bus pass. Do the same amount of walking in places my boots can handle.

 

2) Stay within your dietary limits - use your magnificent colour coded spreadsheet to track what you put into your hobbit body and stick to eating around 1800kcal/day. This is considerably higher than the 1500kcal I've been aiming for in the past, but that's what the iifym calculator said I should aim for in order to lose weight. As long as the food I put in is proper food and not instant noodles, I'm comfortable with it being that high.

Grading: It's on my colour coded spreadsheet. If I average out at 1800kcal/day, I get an A, and if I go too high above or too low below that, my grade slips. So I have to be really careful not to end up eating 2500kcal one day or it'll screw everything up without lots of hard work afterwards.

Contingency Plan: We're dealing with averages here, so if I slip up I have to suck it up and skip or burn the extra calories another day.

 

3) Keep progressing with strength training - see if you can move past the 10kg dumbbells and into the scary weights area with all the bros by the end of this challenge!

Grading: Kind of pass/fail, but if I stay at 8kg: E; get to 9kg: D; 10kg: C (Pass); 11kg: B, 12kg: A; >12: A+. If I can't lift more than 7kg at the end of this challenge, I fail because I can lift 8kg right now.

Contingency Plan: If the gym is closed, my arms explode, or I can't afford membership anymore, do whatever bodyweight stuff I can (progressing beyond BBWW) at least 3 times a week. If the dumbbells in Broland increase in increments of more than 1kg, final grade will be based on, for example, how many perfect-form reps I can do with the 15kgs. 

 

 

And here is my life quest:

 

4) Finish the Ocean Solutions course you started last week; it ends, conveniently, on the 21st of July.

 

Grading: A: Kept up each week; B: Kept up for 5 weeks; C: Kept up for 4 weeks; etc.

Contingency Plan: If the course is cancelled for some reason, I've got a big fat oceanography textbook I can do all the exercises in.

 

 

Overall, I'm considering this challenge passed if I get an average of C or more across all quests!

 

 

*cracks knuckles*

[Sarah Barr]

Also, I have to say, although I'm determined to have an awesome healthy fruit-based birthday cake, I cannot be more happy that this challenge ends the day before my birthday.

 

[Beaucastle]

subbed!

[Sarah Barr]

Hey Beaucastle! Ping me when you've posted your challenge thread so I can sub you!

[Teros]

Hello again!  What are you doing with the strength training?  You gonna be a curlgirl instead of a curlbro?   For your contingency plan, don't forget sand jugs!  Takes like 10 minutes to make.  Sand in a gallon jug is about 13 pounds.  Swapped for quick-dry concrete is more.  I made a concrete 25 lb kettelbell that has a good grip since I used pvc pipe for it and molded it to my hand grip.

 

 

Fruit birthday cake?  Is it one of those carved watermelon cakes or something?

 

 

Also, if idk if the NF Worldmap would inspire any of your weekly hiking-based quests:

[Sarah Barr]

That map is amazing! Using that!!

 

Watermelon cake also looks really cute! But I'm thinking layers of fruit tarts, with berries and lemon zest and kiwis and mango all crammed in really densely so there's lots of flavour and not much room for egg/cream/sugar mix, iced with greek yoghurt and drizzled with a little honey...

 

Strength training routine currently looks like this, but I'm exploring new moves like deadlifts and Bulgarian split squats:

 

(all with dumbbells)

 

10 x goblet squats

10 x military presses

10 x ... I can't remember the name, you get into a lunge position, the dumbbells are in your hands by your front ankle, you stand up straight as you lift one up to your chest and then come back down into the lunge as you lower it to your ankle again. Those. 10 on either side.

10 x rows as seen below

Plank to failure (currently around 20s)

 

(repeat 3x)

 

I did throw in some hammer curls when I was feeling particularly confident. I have big upper arms and I want to fill them with muscle if they get too flappy when I lose the weight, so I maaay start aiming for size over strength at some point...

 

I think I saw your homemade kettlebell in a picture somewhere! That was cool! As soon as I progress another kilo I've outgrown the dumbbells I have in my room so I'm going to find concrete and jugs!

[Teros]

That map is amazing! Using that!!

 

I did throw in some hammer curls when I was feeling particularly confident. I have big upper arms and I want to fill them with muscle if they get too flappy when I lose the weight, so I maaay start aiming for size over strength at some point...

 

I think I saw your homemade kettlebell in a picture somewhere! That was cool! As soon as I progress another kilo I've outgrown the dumbbells I have in my room so I'm going to find concrete and jugs!

Made that map for the RPG fanatics storyline.  Last challenge we went up to the frozen north with the warriors to fight the FrostKing - who was a super-draugr that  represented being frozen in fear.

 

My older sister lost a bunch of weight (unhealthy-ly? and way too fast) and she hates her 'arm flaps'.  Definitely have some tickets to the gun show

 

Homegym pic:

 

You can see the sandjugs in the background, the pumpkin is 25lb kettelbell, clear one is a cheeseball container that's 45 lb, and the bag in the front is an 80lb concrete mix bag that I ducttape-wove a handle into so it's like a giant, dense, sandbag.

[ShadowLion]

I really like your weekly quests with the walking/hiking/roleplay components! Looks like you have a really solid plan and great goals, and I'm looking forward to seeing the hobbit explorer totally conquer this challenge!

[HappyCat]

Subbed...loving your creativity!

[GingaNinja]

Definitely hit me up if you want company on any of these quests! I am looking forward to seeing your challenge overall though I think it is going to be awesome!

[xanjra]

Good goals.

 

I understand your worries about excess skin after losing weight.  The research suggests that if you lose weight at a healthy pace your skin will firm back in all places, except from anywhere you have stretch marks, them bits be broken.

 

That means *fingers crossed* that my only problem areas will be my mummy-tummy and 'the girls'.

 

Do you have any stretch marks?

 

M x

[Sarah Barr]

Haha! I'm a zebra! Arms, thighs, bust, pretty much the whole torso below the bust too. I'm not expecting it to be neat when the weight comes off. I happen to love corsets, though, so they'll keep things smooth lined when I need them to be. And arms and legs can bulk. 

[xanjra]

Ah corsets ftw!

 

M x

[Sarah Barr]

Day 1! 

Morning all!

Getting psyched up for gym! 

Time to go drop some dumbbells on my toes!

 

Go kick ass, everyone!!

 

*roar*

[Sarah Barr]

... Forgot my padlock. 

Womp womp womp.

I do not really care if someone steals my scabby hiking boots, so I will go at lunchtime when I can leave my stuff in the office and just take my towel and trainers.

>.<

[Sarah Barr]

Gasp, flibbit, fleh.. eeeh... gasp

 

Didn't get chance to go to gym at lunch, so went this morning.

 

I never want to do a fasted workout again in my life. My entire me is a trembly blob. Did beat my plank time by 2 secs, got to 22 secs! But I also couldn't get back up from the first of the last set of goblet squats, so I only managed to do two circuits. Considering I hadn't been to the gym in two weeks, though, I am pleased!

 

Yesterday was a bit... well, I'd forgotten there was a birthday party in a pub, and it was the kind of pretty but badly-staffed-and-stocked bar that's really more of an extension of the bar above it even though it claims to be separate. They didn't even have guinness or orange juice. Ended up on vodka-miscellaneous-energy-drink, because it started at 8 and I'm usually in bed by 10 so I had to try and rise above the sleepiness. Who doesn't have orange juice?!

 

Fresh start today I think. 

 

Yay, my hands aren't shaking quite so much!

 

zzzzz...

[GingaNinja]

Hey Sarah, from waht I've read. fasting works really well for some people but I think women tend to respond differently to it. I know when I've done it before I have felt sick after, but seems to vary to the amount of activity I'm doing.

 

Oh man I always forget my lock at the gym, I am lucky none of my stuff has been stolen! That is weird for a pub not to have orange juice, wtf? Where the hell was this so I can avoid it?

 

Glad you are feeling better today though, at least you tried stuff out to see how it effects you!

[Sarah Barr]

I was considering trying proper intermittent fasting, something like what IronGlider's doing, but every time I've done something like it I've gorged like a bear afterwards! And I'm going to make sure I have something for breakfast, even if it's really small, before I gym on Wednesday morning. Because nope.

 

Pub was the Cellar Monkey, in Marchmont? Was sad because the Brass Monkey pubs in Leith and on Drummond Street are excellent. Very pretty pub, though. The monkeys all over the walls seem to dance after a few doubles...

[GingaNinja]

Ahh yeah, I've been in to use their toilet once when I was in the Argyll upstairs (which didn't really impress me either), yeah like you I really like both of the Brass Monkey's they are pretty good selection wise!

[xanjra]

I was considering trying proper intermittent fasting, something like what IronGlider's doing, but every time I've done something like it I've gorged like a bear afterwards! And I'm going to make sure I have something for breakfast, even if it's really small, before I gym on Wednesday morning. Because nope.

 

Pub was the Cellar Monkey, in Marchmont? Was sad because the Brass Monkey pubs in Leith and on Drummond Street are excellent. Very pretty pub, though. The monkeys all over the walls seem to dance after a few doubles...

 

I did IF last challenge.  16-8 feeding window whatsit.  I found that it improved my self-control and appetite regulation, but I didn't lose any more or less than I do on the same calories eaten whenever I like.  For fasted cardio I kept it short and simple with an at-home exercise video.  I didn't have a problem with energy.

 

The moral of the story I think, is try it and see!

 

M x

[Sarah Barr]

What a difference some breakfast makes! 

 

Managed to do all three dumbbell circuits instead of the two I managed last time, and I managed to use the 8kgs again (had to use 7kgs last time which sucked), AND I got my plank to 30 seconds!

I am skeptical about 30 seconds; I try to count as evenly as I can in my head, but I should get a little stopwatch!

I tried to hold for longer, but my hands were too sweaty. Need to remember to do planks with my gym towel under my hands.

 

 

Xanjra: Think I may give I.F. a try in between this challenge and next! If it goes well, I'll make it a challenge goal next time!

 

 

Feeling confident about progression in this challenge, even though it's still only Thursday. 

 

Was nosing around on the Tough Mudder website. There's an event in Edinburgh on Saturday, and that got me thinking how likely it would be that I'd be able to compete in it next year. Cannot do a single pull up, have very poor endurance, and I'm not so sure I could fit through some of those tubes, but a year is a long time!

 

Studying's going ok. It's supposed to be 4 hours a week, but it's taking me so much longer because I feel the need to hand-write out all the lectures. Interesting though. It IS mostly about how people are terrible, and overfishing is terrible, and overpopulation is terrible... but I'm also learning about coral reef fishes on the side, so it lightens up the doom and gloom a bit! Fish are cool.

 

Have a good Thursday!

[Beaucastle]

Try saying Steam boat.  One Steam boat.  Two Steam boat.  If you focus on saying out loud  (under your breath) each individual word, you will be closer to the actual second mark. 

[Sarah Barr]

A Hobbit Adventure
Chapter 1: Cosmett and the Rat King

 

The little hobbit was sitting on her couch, knitting a big, cuddly green blanket and watching the rain fall gently through the evening air against the window.  She sipped from her cup of tea, just the right amount of cosy. She felt sleepily contented. Her hobbit-hole companions, Camembert, Marjoram and Apple, were sitting with her, laughing merrily and drinking a little crisp cider as they watched whatever that was supposed to be on the Magic Picture Box.

 

There was a sharp rap at the door. The little hobbit jolted back into wakefulness. It was late, who could be so uncivilised as to come calling at this hour?

 

Hoping they had at least brought more cider, she got up and opened the door.

 

The old man was short for an old man, but towered over her. His hair was matted, sodden and dripping with rain. His eyes were wide, wild and piercing, and he panted heavily for a moment as the hobbit stood in startled silence.

 

"Hobbits! Yes! They SAID I would find you here!" he barked.

 

The hobbit froze, thought about how many steps it would take to reach her bo staff in the next room.

 

"May I help you?" She tried to sound cold and tough.

 

The old man wiped dribbles of wet from his forehead and grinned a warm, friendly grin with a face that creased into a billion contour lines. He grabbed her hand and shook it, barging in past her and flopping down soggily onto the unopened letters on the hall table.

 

"My name is Cosmett! I am an apprentice to the Great Skywizard Starflax, and I need your help!"

 

Her hobbit-hole-mates had gathered behind her. Camembert, the tallest of her companions, swayed slightly forward to hiccup. Then she said

 

"We don't want any double glazing thankyou."

 

The little hobbit smiled awkwardly at Cosmett, unsure of the polite thing to say and therefore saying nothing at all. The wizard fidgeted.

 

"What do you know about rats?"

 

.........................

 

The little hobbit rummaged around in her kitchen cupboard, trying to find some biscuits. She hadn't really had the inclination for biscuits recently, but the apprentice certainly did, and he looked thin and cold. The apprentice, who had begun to smell rather more pungent as he had warmed up by the stove, poured a little drop of something slightly wormwood-scented and very definitely alcoholic into his mug of herbal tea. Eventually she found a little bag of something that at one time were probably ginger nuts, and handed him a mostly whole-looking one. Marjoram had gone to hide in her room, while Camembert and Apple stood in the doorway like sentinels.

 

After a long time in uneasy silence, the old man began to speak.

 

"I am a lonely man. My master spends all his time staring through his telescope, and even though we two are all alone in our observatory, all he ever says to me is 'Cosmett! Where's the tea?!' or 'Cosmett! Where in Hell did you put my parchment?!' and it drives me crackers!I mean, it's not like he's incapable of making his own tea, and how am I supposed to know in which Circle of the Inferno he's dropped his bloody shopping list?! I'm not even allowed DOWN there yet!"

 

He swigged from his flask, and poured more into his mug.

 

"A man needs companionship, and the old coot never gives me enough to do to drive away the boredom, so I made my own friends."

 

"That's nice, I do the quiz at the tavern every week and I've made loads of friends there." said Camembert, as she absent mindedly peeled the label off her cider bottle.

 

"No, I MADE them. We have these little rats, you see, and I thought it would help if I grew one or two a bit and gave them enough brains to carry on a conversation."

 

Apple mm-hmmed with one eyebrow raised.

 

"Lovely creatures once you get to know them. Only... well, one of them must've got into my vials, and taken them away, because the next thing you know there are dozens of the beasts taking over my basement. It's that big gnarly one that worries me. Big red eyes. Poor taste in literature. He found a dirty great barbed needle somewhereand he's been waving it about like a spear calling himself His Lord High Squeakness or whatever. And if Master Starflax notices they've been fiddling with the herb cupboard, I'm done for..."

 

He slammed his mug on the table. He shuffled his chair forward to punctuate his points as he gushed,

 

"I CAN'T lose this job, I've only been in it for 50 years, no other wizard will take on an apprentice that got fired after only half a bloody century! You have to help me get rid of him! You're the only hobbits I can find in the area, and only your kind have the sharp eyes and little hands with which to get the bugger!"

 

"Can't you just get a cat?" the little hobbit asked.

 

The old man paused, his eyes going vacant for a moment.

 

"Bloody hate cats."

 

"What's in it for us?" Apple said, surreptitiously sniffing the contents of the wizard's mug behind him. They were curdling.

 

"I don't know yet. Will you help me?"

 

The little hobbit looked at Apple, who pursed her lips. She looked at Camembert, who was picking bits of label off her skirt. She remembered something her father had told her long ago, along the lines of "A wizard in your debt is a dangerous thing. A wizard you refuse to help is even worse." Her father had also been raging drunk at the time, and had also given her other such pearls as "Egrets are best left unbasted, or the buttercups will be displeased," and "Never trust a woodpecker named Archie. Bastard owes me fifty quid." So she usually took little notice. But this was a particularly soggy and desperate man, and she felt too much guilt to turn him down.

 

"We'll help."

 

"Fantastic, my small, hygienic friend! Meet me at the observatory at the top of the hill in the Southern Forest on Saturday morning, and bring some tea!" He danced out of the room, and out of the hobbit hole, leaving only a few crumbs of something green and muddy across the hobbit's lovely beige carpet.

 

"And biscuits!!" he added as he passed their window, grinning with glee.

 

"We're going to get rabies, aren't we?" said Apple after the sound of his footsteps had thumped away in the distance.

 

 

 

MISSION: WEEK ONE - FIND AND DEFEAT THE RAT KING

 

1) Find a route through the town and the Southern Forest to the Observatory.

 

2) Speak with Cosmett to find the antidote to his spell, and to learn about the likely hiding places of the Rat King. [Roll a D12 to determine how many sites you have to visit] 

 

3) Investigate each hiding spot. The King will flee if you find him, until you have visited all the spots. Defeat any of the King's henchmen you find along the way [Roll a D6 to determine how many henchmen; you need to do a set of 10 squats  or 10 press ups to kill each one]

 

4) When you find the Rat King in the last hiding spot, chase him round in circles until he gets dizzy and falls over [Roll a D20 to determine how many laps of the hiding spot you need to do!].

 

5) Administer the antidote, and collect his barbed spear. 

 

6) Return to Cosmett at the observatory to collect your reward.

[Beaucastle]

OMG  that is EPIC...    *settles in to watch the show*

[xanjra]

Love it!

 

M x