Candace Koller Posted July 16, 2014 Report Share Posted July 16, 2014 First challenge. http://rebellion.nerdfitness.com/index.php?/topic/50587-candace-koller-improve-health-despite-depression/ It started off well but then life got in the way. Now I'm right back up to where I was when I started with only 4 days left to lose 5 lbs. That's not going to happen unless there's a miracle. Diet plan, modified primal/paleo.Mostly meats and vegetables. No fruit or fruit juice, nothing with added sugar, and a little heavier on the dairy, a lot of cream and cheese (and cream cheese). Goal carb intake below 50g. Goal fat intake at least 60% of my calories from fat. Quote Goal weight: 135 lbs (61.2 kg), Starting weight: 200 lbs (90.7 kg)Current Weight: 196.6 lbs (89.2 kg) 5.2%5.2% Battle Log | ChallengeThe chronicles of my journey through mental illness.The Stories Not ToldBreak the silence. Fight the stigmas. Don't be afraid to ask for help.Level 2 Half-Elf|STR| 4 |DEX| 3 |STA| 2 |CON| 4 |WIS| 9 |CHA| 5 Link to comment
Candace Koller Posted July 18, 2014 Author Report Share Posted July 18, 2014 My mental health has taken a pretty serious downturn. It makes it very difficult to find the motivation to stick with it. Quote Goal weight: 135 lbs (61.2 kg), Starting weight: 200 lbs (90.7 kg)Current Weight: 196.6 lbs (89.2 kg) 5.2%5.2% Battle Log | ChallengeThe chronicles of my journey through mental illness.The Stories Not ToldBreak the silence. Fight the stigmas. Don't be afraid to ask for help.Level 2 Half-Elf|STR| 4 |DEX| 3 |STA| 2 |CON| 4 |WIS| 9 |CHA| 5 Link to comment
Varelse Posted July 18, 2014 Report Share Posted July 18, 2014 I don't know if it's a good advice, but I think that your eating habits are the main source of your mental health. When you feel like you cannot eat properly, think that eating better will help you feeling better emotionally, too. Quote Level 4 10 WIS | 2 STR | 2 STA | 2 CON | 5 CHA | 1 DEX battle log | epic quest The Stoic Path of Virtue: #1 | #2 | #3 Current challenge: Don't break the challenge Link to comment
Candace Koller Posted July 18, 2014 Author Report Share Posted July 18, 2014 I try to. When things get bad it's hard to say eating well is worth it but I really need to start focusing on how it might help make things a little easier. Quote Goal weight: 135 lbs (61.2 kg), Starting weight: 200 lbs (90.7 kg)Current Weight: 196.6 lbs (89.2 kg) 5.2%5.2% Battle Log | ChallengeThe chronicles of my journey through mental illness.The Stories Not ToldBreak the silence. Fight the stigmas. Don't be afraid to ask for help.Level 2 Half-Elf|STR| 4 |DEX| 3 |STA| 2 |CON| 4 |WIS| 9 |CHA| 5 Link to comment
Candace Koller Posted July 25, 2014 Author Report Share Posted July 25, 2014 I've been under a lot of stress and using this week off from the challenge as an excuse to eat everything I know I shouldn't. New challenge starts in a few days. I may get a head start and begin today or I may eat an ice cream cookie. I haven't decided yet but I definitely know which one I am leaning towards. http://rebellion.nerdfitness.com/index.php?/topic/51281-candace-koller-to-sleep-perchance-to-dream/ Quote Goal weight: 135 lbs (61.2 kg), Starting weight: 200 lbs (90.7 kg)Current Weight: 196.6 lbs (89.2 kg) 5.2%5.2% Battle Log | ChallengeThe chronicles of my journey through mental illness.The Stories Not ToldBreak the silence. Fight the stigmas. Don't be afraid to ask for help.Level 2 Half-Elf|STR| 4 |DEX| 3 |STA| 2 |CON| 4 |WIS| 9 |CHA| 5 Link to comment
Candace Koller Posted July 26, 2014 Author Report Share Posted July 26, 2014 Restarting the new challenge back at 180 lbs Quote Goal weight: 135 lbs (61.2 kg), Starting weight: 200 lbs (90.7 kg)Current Weight: 196.6 lbs (89.2 kg) 5.2%5.2% Battle Log | ChallengeThe chronicles of my journey through mental illness.The Stories Not ToldBreak the silence. Fight the stigmas. Don't be afraid to ask for help.Level 2 Half-Elf|STR| 4 |DEX| 3 |STA| 2 |CON| 4 |WIS| 9 |CHA| 5 Link to comment
Candace Koller Posted July 27, 2014 Author Report Share Posted July 27, 2014 Planted some trees today on our land. Also had a pretty major panic attack and depressive meltdown. At least I got a little bit done but I'm feeling pretty useless. Quote Goal weight: 135 lbs (61.2 kg), Starting weight: 200 lbs (90.7 kg)Current Weight: 196.6 lbs (89.2 kg) 5.2%5.2% Battle Log | ChallengeThe chronicles of my journey through mental illness.The Stories Not ToldBreak the silence. Fight the stigmas. Don't be afraid to ask for help.Level 2 Half-Elf|STR| 4 |DEX| 3 |STA| 2 |CON| 4 |WIS| 9 |CHA| 5 Link to comment
Varelse Posted July 27, 2014 Report Share Posted July 27, 2014 Planted some trees today on our land. Also had a pretty major panic attack and depressive meltdown. At least I got a little bit done but I'm feeling pretty useless. Why useless? The farming work sounds pretty useful. You're creating something great on your land, so you should feel proud, not useless. 1 Quote Level 4 10 WIS | 2 STR | 2 STA | 2 CON | 5 CHA | 1 DEX battle log | epic quest The Stoic Path of Virtue: #1 | #2 | #3 Current challenge: Don't break the challenge Link to comment
Candace Koller Posted July 27, 2014 Author Report Share Posted July 27, 2014 We could have got a lot more done if I hadn't melted down. I felt like I killed all the progress we could have made but I am glad at least we did get things done. Better to look at the positive now. Quote Goal weight: 135 lbs (61.2 kg), Starting weight: 200 lbs (90.7 kg)Current Weight: 196.6 lbs (89.2 kg) 5.2%5.2% Battle Log | ChallengeThe chronicles of my journey through mental illness.The Stories Not ToldBreak the silence. Fight the stigmas. Don't be afraid to ask for help.Level 2 Half-Elf|STR| 4 |DEX| 3 |STA| 2 |CON| 4 |WIS| 9 |CHA| 5 Link to comment
jasonkoller Posted July 28, 2014 Report Share Posted July 28, 2014 We could have got a lot more done if I hadn't melted down. I felt like I killed all the progress we could have made but I am glad at least we did get things done. Better to look at the positive now.No, All our progress was killed cause I got our car stuck in the ditch and only brought one shovel. Quote Link to comment
Varelse Posted July 28, 2014 Report Share Posted July 28, 2014 BUT you can rebuild the killed progress, so don't blame yourself, and keep working on it. 1 Quote Level 4 10 WIS | 2 STR | 2 STA | 2 CON | 5 CHA | 1 DEX battle log | epic quest The Stoic Path of Virtue: #1 | #2 | #3 Current challenge: Don't break the challenge Link to comment
Candace Koller Posted July 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2014 Finally cooking again like I have been meaning to do for a while. I'm glad to be eating my own food again instead of eating out so often. 1 Quote Goal weight: 135 lbs (61.2 kg), Starting weight: 200 lbs (90.7 kg)Current Weight: 196.6 lbs (89.2 kg) 5.2%5.2% Battle Log | ChallengeThe chronicles of my journey through mental illness.The Stories Not ToldBreak the silence. Fight the stigmas. Don't be afraid to ask for help.Level 2 Half-Elf|STR| 4 |DEX| 3 |STA| 2 |CON| 4 |WIS| 9 |CHA| 5 Link to comment
Candace Koller Posted August 1, 2014 Author Report Share Posted August 1, 2014 Very, very, very bad day. **** diet and exercise today. Quote Goal weight: 135 lbs (61.2 kg), Starting weight: 200 lbs (90.7 kg)Current Weight: 196.6 lbs (89.2 kg) 5.2%5.2% Battle Log | ChallengeThe chronicles of my journey through mental illness.The Stories Not ToldBreak the silence. Fight the stigmas. Don't be afraid to ask for help.Level 2 Half-Elf|STR| 4 |DEX| 3 |STA| 2 |CON| 4 |WIS| 9 |CHA| 5 Link to comment
Candace Koller Posted August 1, 2014 Author Report Share Posted August 1, 2014 Getting out of bed today is not looking very likely. Quote Goal weight: 135 lbs (61.2 kg), Starting weight: 200 lbs (90.7 kg)Current Weight: 196.6 lbs (89.2 kg) 5.2%5.2% Battle Log | ChallengeThe chronicles of my journey through mental illness.The Stories Not ToldBreak the silence. Fight the stigmas. Don't be afraid to ask for help.Level 2 Half-Elf|STR| 4 |DEX| 3 |STA| 2 |CON| 4 |WIS| 9 |CHA| 5 Link to comment
Candace Koller Posted August 1, 2014 Author Report Share Posted August 1, 2014 Definitely hitting a bad depressive slump. Have not gotten out of bed and have not eaten today. Nothing getting done right now. Quote Goal weight: 135 lbs (61.2 kg), Starting weight: 200 lbs (90.7 kg)Current Weight: 196.6 lbs (89.2 kg) 5.2%5.2% Battle Log | ChallengeThe chronicles of my journey through mental illness.The Stories Not ToldBreak the silence. Fight the stigmas. Don't be afraid to ask for help.Level 2 Half-Elf|STR| 4 |DEX| 3 |STA| 2 |CON| 4 |WIS| 9 |CHA| 5 Link to comment
Candace Koller Posted August 5, 2014 Author Report Share Posted August 5, 2014 I've been cheating too much lately. Gotta get back on the diet and stick to it. 1 Quote Goal weight: 135 lbs (61.2 kg), Starting weight: 200 lbs (90.7 kg)Current Weight: 196.6 lbs (89.2 kg) 5.2%5.2% Battle Log | ChallengeThe chronicles of my journey through mental illness.The Stories Not ToldBreak the silence. Fight the stigmas. Don't be afraid to ask for help.Level 2 Half-Elf|STR| 4 |DEX| 3 |STA| 2 |CON| 4 |WIS| 9 |CHA| 5 Link to comment
Candace Koller Posted August 8, 2014 Author Report Share Posted August 8, 2014 Changed up my challenge a bit to afford me a few cheat days without failing since my weight is still dropping right on schedule. Quote Goal weight: 135 lbs (61.2 kg), Starting weight: 200 lbs (90.7 kg)Current Weight: 196.6 lbs (89.2 kg) 5.2%5.2% Battle Log | ChallengeThe chronicles of my journey through mental illness.The Stories Not ToldBreak the silence. Fight the stigmas. Don't be afraid to ask for help.Level 2 Half-Elf|STR| 4 |DEX| 3 |STA| 2 |CON| 4 |WIS| 9 |CHA| 5 Link to comment
Candace Koller Posted September 8, 2014 Author Report Share Posted September 8, 2014 This has been one of the hardest times I've had in a while. Life came out of nowhere and just kept throwing punch after punch. Everything that could go wrong seems like it has been. My depression and anxiety hasn't been this bad in a long time. My next challenge is going to have to be much more simplistic than this previous one has been. My ability to do much of anything is waning short and getting out of bed every day is a challenge all on its own. I'm losing a lot of functionality and even simple tasks are like scaling mountains. I keep hoping that the situations I've been dealing with will calm down soon but I suspect that will not happen at any time in the near future. At this point it's more important that I eat something at all rather than try to stick with a diet. I've had no appetite and not eating is not healthy. Even if I'm eating just junk it's better than the alternative. Quote Goal weight: 135 lbs (61.2 kg), Starting weight: 200 lbs (90.7 kg)Current Weight: 196.6 lbs (89.2 kg) 5.2%5.2% Battle Log | ChallengeThe chronicles of my journey through mental illness.The Stories Not ToldBreak the silence. Fight the stigmas. Don't be afraid to ask for help.Level 2 Half-Elf|STR| 4 |DEX| 3 |STA| 2 |CON| 4 |WIS| 9 |CHA| 5 Link to comment
Candace Koller Posted September 12, 2014 Author Report Share Posted September 12, 2014 Next challengehttp://rebellion.nerdfitness.com/index.php?/topic/53738-candace-koller-stays-alive/ Quote Goal weight: 135 lbs (61.2 kg), Starting weight: 200 lbs (90.7 kg)Current Weight: 196.6 lbs (89.2 kg) 5.2%5.2% Battle Log | ChallengeThe chronicles of my journey through mental illness.The Stories Not ToldBreak the silence. Fight the stigmas. Don't be afraid to ask for help.Level 2 Half-Elf|STR| 4 |DEX| 3 |STA| 2 |CON| 4 |WIS| 9 |CHA| 5 Link to comment
Candace Koller Posted September 15, 2014 Author Report Share Posted September 15, 2014 Got 500 feet of fence up, dug 300 feet of trenches. Progress on my land and exercise in one stroke. This was a very productive weekend even though I spent more of it than I should have curled in the fetal position when I was supposed to be working. Quote Goal weight: 135 lbs (61.2 kg), Starting weight: 200 lbs (90.7 kg)Current Weight: 196.6 lbs (89.2 kg) 5.2%5.2% Battle Log | ChallengeThe chronicles of my journey through mental illness.The Stories Not ToldBreak the silence. Fight the stigmas. Don't be afraid to ask for help.Level 2 Half-Elf|STR| 4 |DEX| 3 |STA| 2 |CON| 4 |WIS| 9 |CHA| 5 Link to comment
Glacier Posted November 12, 2014 Report Share Posted November 12, 2014 Chookie hug 1 Quote Link to comment
Candace Koller Posted November 18, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 18, 2014 Back on the horse.Current plan:At least 1 meal a day of modified primal/paleo diet.Modified to exclude all fruits and include dairy. Very vegetable filled but no root vegetables. High fat.Goal: 60% of calories from (mostly) unprocessed fat sources. Cheese being the exclusion to the unprocessed bit. 1 Quote Goal weight: 135 lbs (61.2 kg), Starting weight: 200 lbs (90.7 kg)Current Weight: 196.6 lbs (89.2 kg) 5.2%5.2% Battle Log | ChallengeThe chronicles of my journey through mental illness.The Stories Not ToldBreak the silence. Fight the stigmas. Don't be afraid to ask for help.Level 2 Half-Elf|STR| 4 |DEX| 3 |STA| 2 |CON| 4 |WIS| 9 |CHA| 5 Link to comment
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