Otter's Finding Balance

[otter905]

Howdy All - I'm usually a ranger, but I need to find some balance in my life and make some decisions and seeing as this challenge is focused on food and figuring some stuff out about who I am and what I want.

 

So....without further ado

My main goal is to weigh less than 200lbs - I currently sit at around 220 - I was down around 198 at the beginning of the year but then I lost my focus and started eating like crap.

 

Goal 1 - 80 -90% Paleo

I know eating paleo works for me.

A. Stop buying non-paleo food stuffs!  I have some still around the house I will try to use up instead of wasting, but I would like to keep it to weekends only - no Friday evening and Saturday only. when I'm not the one cooking. Oh! and I've been eating protein bars for breakfast which I like but aren't paleo compliant that will stay for now.

B.  The reason I am allowing Friday and Saturday is because I have been working every other or every third Saturday.  When I do I sleep at my parents trailer and my mom cooks for me (YEAH!!!!    ).  The trailer is closer to the office I have to work from, and although my parents eat healthy and there are always fruit and veggies available, we are at the trailer and dinner often consists of burgers or the like and lunches are usually sandwiches. But I must make healthy decisions with what is offered to me.

C.  Savour my food and make smart food decisions - if I choose to eat something non-paleo - savour it .  I don't want to shove it down in guilt and then want more and feel guilty about it all causing me to wallow and eat more junk -VICIOUS CYCLE!  So I want to take the time to savour it - take small bites and enjoy it all

 

Goal 2 - yoga  3 DEX  0.50pts per week

3 x week in the morning before work - did this before and enjoyed it but then dropped it as soon as the challenge ended . Stupid! but lets see if we can get it going again and make it stick.

 

Goal 3 -(life goal) gardening 3CHA  0.50pts per week

2x week for at least 15min. My garden and lawn literally is over run with weeds - its horrendous.  I know it needs to be done and I need to be consistent with it.  Working on it for a while one day and then leaving it for weeks on end doesn't help.

 

Goal 4 - What's going on in my head???3WIS 1CHA  - 1pt for each meeting, and 1 pt if I make a decision

attend at least 3 Celebrate Recovery meetings and decide whether this is for me or not.

I feel like I'm at a place where I need some help figuring out whats in my head.  Celebrate Recovery is one option or I can look into counselling/therapy or I could play ostrich (but I think I've done that long enough )

 

So that's it, there you have it. Off I go!

Disclaimer: I am on vaction the week of August 10 - 16 - some things may fall to the wayside.  If I'm smart about it I can still cook and eat healthy, when I'm cooking for myself.  I can still do my 3 yoga sessions - it just won't be before work (obviously!) It's probably the gardening that I will "forget about" but hopefully I will see some improvement by then and want to do it.

[Jittersthe.Clown]

Welcome to the Druids, Otter.  I hope you find some peace while you stay with us.  Please let us know if there is anything you need.  

[Jujuba]

Hi! Just wanted to wish you good luck with your goals.

 

I've already tried the "savor your food" technique to lose weight and it worked really well for me, especially when I was eating with someone else. If a person is not eating much the others around tend to notice and make comments. At least in my house the comment is always "why aren't you eating, honey? Have some more." Eating slower I could really reduce my portions without feeling hungry at the end of the meal and avoiding that situation.

[Sunmage]

Welcome to the druids!

[LittleTurtle]

Hi Otter and welcome!  It looks like you have a great plan of action for the challenge.  Do you do any kind of grading to monitor your progress?

 

Best of luck!  

[otter905]

Hi! Just wanted to wish you good luck with your goals.

 

I've already tried the "savor your food" technique to lose weight and it worked really well for me, especially when I was eating with someone else. If a person is not eating much the others around tend to notice and make comments. At least in my house the comment is always "why aren't you eating, honey? Have some more." Eating slower I could really reduce my portions without feeling hungry at the end of the meal and avoiding that situation.

Good to know.  I did it last night with some chocolate and found I didn't immediately want to eat more. So I thought why can't I implement this more often? I really should enjoy my food not shove it down in guilt.  I eat and live alone so it's really easy to "hide" when/what I eat. :/

 

Welcome to the druids!

 

Thank you

 

Hi Otter and welcome!  It looks like you have a great plan of action for the challenge.  Do you do any kind of grading to monitor your progress?

 

Best of luck!  

 

Thanks, still working out the point system especially for the food.  I kinda had it worked out in the planning stage, but then I decided to be all druidy this challenge so it changed a little.  I will update when I figure it out.  It will be based on how I eat and the food decisions I make, not actually on the weight loss - we all know the effort doesn't always correspond on the scale.

 

I also do crossfit so yoga is not the only exercise I will be doing.  It's just that I've been doing it for almost 2 years now, so although there are many things I'm still working on, it's not part of my challenge.

[I am Eve]

Very welcome to the Druids Otter, I hope that you will like it here!

Being present and reflecting actively while eating is a good way of detecting and changing habits I think. The yoga will hopefully help you be more centered as well. I like your challenge and look forward to following your progress.

Namaste

[Wayward Walker]

Hi Otter! Glad to see you here.  It looks like you have some smart goals set for yourself.  I have no experience in Paleo, so I can't help there, but my brain is always open to be picked

 

Love the yoga and the gardening in there. A lot of people, when thinking about fitness, fail to remember that their mind-body-soul are connected and they need to nurture them all.

 

Wish you all the best!

[otter905]

Ok guys, It's on and I'm freaking out already.

I'm so stressed at work and trying to figure out some renovation stuff at my house, I keep thinking I can't do this.  This is the very reason I did not participate in the last challenge.  Why would I add the stress of "having" to do something for a challenge????

UGH!!

Ok - I don't HAVE to do this, I WANT to do this!!!! (well all except for the gardening! )

Breathe in: I am worth making healthy choices

Breathe out: negative thoughts

Breathe in: I am worth making healthy meals for myself

Breathe out: junk food

Breathe in: I am worth making healthy meals for myself

Breathe out: chips

Breathe in: I am worth making healthy choices

Breathe out: negative thoughts

 

I AM WORTH THIS - MAKE HEALTHY CHOICES

MAKE - HEALTHY - CHOICES

I have a bbq to go to tonight - so the whole eating non paleo foods on Fridays and Saturdays is being revamped - to only eating non-paleo fooods if I'm not the one cooking - but make smart healthy decisions with what is offered me.  I don't have to have a bun for my hamburger - I wouldn't at home, why when I'm out???  Do I really need a second helping of potato salad?  Probably not. 

 

I AM WORTH THIS - MAKE HEALTHY CHOICES repeat!!!!

[LittleTurtle]

You got this!!  

[Jittersthe.Clown]

Time to prove to yourself you can do this.  Daunting tasks like your lawn/garden are what makes summer so much fun.  Do a little each day and you'll be great.  Good luck out there.  We're here for you, cheering you along the way.  

 

[Wayward Walker]

You're quote reminds me of a story about asking a centiped how it can walk

 

You can do this, best wishes!

[otter905]

WEEK 1 DAY 1

Yoga - didn't do a session - but did make time to do some sun salutations and warrior poses

Gardening - not yet - see below on where I spent my time

Celebrate recovery meeting - is tonight - trying to decide to go to it or go to crossfit as I didn't go to crossfit last night and I could really use a good work out.

 

Food -

proten bar

salad with sausage and balsamic vinagrette

peach (fresh right off the tree -so YUMMY!!)

carrots/radishes/green beans

dinner at the bbq - chicken breast, sausage, chickpea/artichoke salad (paleo besides the chicpeas), potato salad (small scoop and savoured every bite of it -my mom makes the best potato salad!!!) picked at the ceaser salad a litte and at a couple croutons desert watermelon and a couple bites of diabetic lemon blueberry pie (no sugar added - not paleo)

I started talking to my dad and brother about fixing up my bathroom - my dad wants me to rip it out and redo it with a shower, I don't want to because I only have 1 bathroom in the house.  My brother came over to look at it and show me some tiles he said I could have and suggested yet another reno I could do.  It's hard making these decisions on my own because ultimately it is MY decision and I have to live with the results. And my house is REALLY old so we never really know what we are going to get into when we start fixing/renovating stuff --- oh! yes we do the work ourselves, usually me and my dad, sometimes my brother helps too.  In my stress I starting eating some potato wedges I had left over from Sunday - I ate about 10 -20 of them, before realizing that is NOT the answer.  I threw them out and called a friend and went and had a cigar and watched a movie with. Yes I know the cigar isn't much better - but they are a treat for me and I don't do it very often.

 

All in all pretty good decisions AND I savoured the non paleo food I really wanted to eat resulting in not having a second helping.

[Jittersthe.Clown]

  I threw them out and called a friend and went and had a cigar and watched a movie with. Yes I know the cigar isn't much better - but they are a treat for me and I don't do it very often.

 

What did you end up smoking?  

[otter905]

You got this!!  

 

 

Time to prove to yourself you can do this.  Daunting tasks like your lawn/garden are what makes summer so much fun.  Do a little each day and you'll be great.  Good luck out there.  We're here for you, cheering you along the way.  

 

 

Thank you for the support - Love the minions!!

You're quote reminds me of a story about asking a centiped how it can walk

 

You can do this, best wishes!

There's a story about someone asking a centiped how it can walk?  Do tell....

 

What did you end up smoking?  

Nothing special - he smokes the wild berry tipped cigarellos that he gets in bulk on an Indian Reserve.  So I steal one from him every once in a while when I get a craving.  I quit smoking March 2013 as part of an NF challenge.  So I really limit myself and look at it as a treat.

[Wayward Walker]

This is from "The Empty Boat" by Osho -

"One fox became curious - and foxes are curious. In folklore the fox is the symbol of the mind, of the intellect, of logic. Foxes are great logicians. The foxed looked, and she observed, she analyzed, she couldn't believe it. She said, "Wait, one question! How do you manage, how do you know which foot has to follow which? One hundred legs! How does this harmony happen, that you walk so smoothly?"

 

The centipede said, "I have been walking but I have never thought about it. Give me a little time."

 

So he closed his eyes. For the first time he became divided: the mind as observer, and himself as the observed. For the first time the centipede became two. He had been living and walking, but his life had been one whole; there was no observer standing looking at himself, he was never divided; he had been an integrated being. For the first time division arose. He was looking at his own self, thinking. He had become subject and object, he had become two, and then he started walking. It was difficult, almost impossible. He fell down - how do you manage one hundred legs?

 

The fox laughed and she said, "I knew it must be difficult, I knew it beforehand."

 

 The centipede started crying and weeping, tears came to his eyes. He said, "It had never been difficult, but you have created the problem. Now I will never be able to walk again."

 

 The mind has come into being; mind comes when  you are divided. The mind feeds on division."

[otter905]

Wow does that ring true with all the crap running around in my head right now.  Thanks for sharing it.

 

Yoga: nope - woke up at 4:30 starving and couldn't get back to sleep, then did and slept through my alarm

Gardening: not yet - see next

Celebrate recovery meeting: I went last night - heart pounding, stomach reeling, reminding my self to just take deep breaths. There was a very nice lady who greeted me and she runs the "new comers" so we had a little chat and she told me about the program after the main session. As the coordinator was speaking she mentioned there were "beach" decorations every for the Vacaion Bible School the church was running that week.  She pointed out some stuff on the wall behind us and I turn around to see

"When I am afraid; I will trust in you"  Ps 56:3  -ok God I get it!!! 

Next week they are having a potluck/bbq - think I might go free food is always good.  Plus the "nice lady" mentioned that they alternate weeks - 1 week is testimony, the next is a "lesson"  and both times I've been have been a testimony, so I should check out a lesson.

 

Food -

proten bar

salad with sausage and balsamic vinagrette

apple

carrots/green beans

2 eggs with olives in a wrap and a protein batr (totally didn't need the protein bar, but was so nervous before the meeting and I'm beginning to think my body craves them because of the sugar content)

popcorn  - after the meeting.  I really wanted chips, but didn't buy them, used up the last of my popcorn too so that's good.  I kept finding myself shovelling it in and reminding my self to eat it slowly and savour it then finding myself shovelling it it. 

Not a great day on the paleo front - but used up the last of my wraps and the last of my popcorn.  That leaves only some pasta left in my house oh and some premade burgers which are probably not paleo but still meat so...

I also invited a friend over for dinner on Friday instead of going out to a restaurant.

[LittleTurtle]

Congrats on the Celebrate Recovery Meeting.  What a giant step in the right direction.  

[otter905]

Had the most horrible day yesterday at work - to the point I couldn't face anyone, didn't go to Bible study and lied to my mom to get off the phone - I'm a terrible person!!!

I also think I'm getting my days a little messed up

so

Week 1, Day 3

yoga: nope - couldn't sleep (posted about this already)

gardening: yes 20min to 1/2hr- the nice thing was it pissed down rain all day so the ground was soft, but I got soaked. Everything was wet and it rained a little on me

Celebrate Recovery: 1/3

Food:

proten bar x2 (one was at 5:30am cause I woke up starving and couldn't sleep)

salad with sausage and balsamic vinagrette

carrots/green peppers

banana

Harvey's - yup I bailed - I just couldn't bring myself to cook last night.  I didn't have it in me at all.  I probably should have gone for something healthier at least.  But I didn't feel and shame or guilt after eating it which was good.

 

Week1 Day4 (so far)

yoga: YES!! woke up on time and did a session - It was very difficult though because I couldn't concentrate for long.

gardening: not yet

Food:

proten bar x2 (and still hungry ???)

salad with sausage and balsamic vinagrette (set to eat for lunch)

carrots/green peppers, banana, apple, pear (choices I brought to work with me for snacks)

[LittleTurtle]

You're not a terrible person.  You had a bad day, but that was yesterday - today is another chance to go be awesome.  Shrug it off and don't be too hard on yourself.  You're doing great!  

[otter905]

You're not a terrible person.  You had a bad day, but that was yesterday - today is another chance to go be awesome.  Shrug it off and don't be too hard on yourself.  You're doing great!  

Thanks Little Turtle - the past is the past, we do not stay there right??

 

 

Week1 Day4

yoga: YES!! woke up on time and did a session - It was very difficult though because I couldn't concentrate for long.

gardening: nope

Food:

proten bar x2 (and still hungry ???)

salad with sausage and balsamic vinagrette

carrots/green peppers

banana

protein bar

peameal sausage and 2 eggs

 

Week1 Day (so far)

yoga: YES!! that's 3/3 if you count the bit I did on Monday - My ITunes died on me again :/  Going to have to make do until my vacation I think before I update it

gardening: not yet - probably won't happen having a friend over for dinner

Food:

proten bar

carrots/green peppers, peameal bacon

gotta buy my lunch today and I have an apple and nectarine for snack

 

If I don't see you guys later have a great weekend (it's a long weekend for some of us Canadians) so see ya on Tuesday (no internet at home)

[LittleTurtle]

And a great weekend to you as well!  

[Terinatum]

Sub'd

It took me a bit to find you, my dear. You're at your parent's now so perhaps I'll be caught up on the posts here by the time yo get back!

Love and Hugs,

Teri

[Ba'sini'on]

Hey Otter!! Totally sub'd!!

[otter905]

Sub'd

It took me a bit to find you, my dear. You're at your parent's now so perhaps I'll be caught up on the posts here by the time yo get back!

Love and Hugs,

Teri

 

Hey Otter!! Totally sub'd!!

Thanks for stopping by Ladies!

 

Week1 Day5

yoga: YES!! that's 3/3 if you count the bit I did on Monday - My ITunes died on me again :/  Going to have to make do until my vacation I think before I update it

gardening: not yet - probably won't happen having a friend over for dinner

Food:

proten bar

carrots/green peppers, peameal bacon

burrito *purchased from a fabulous "fast food" place, but pretty healthy - nothing deep fried and healthy toppings -not paleo

burgers w/fried mushrooms and onions (no bun), pasta salad, ice cream - made the pasta salad and bought the ice cream for my friend who was coming over for dinner and out to see a band, but she bailed on my so I was drowning my sorrows

 

Week1 Day 6

yoga:no it's the weekend

gardening: no gone from 9am - 2am (Sunday morning)

Food:

chicken, ribs, olives, pickles, carrots, hot dog and icecream (company picnic)

Might Taco (it's tradition after the picnic)

VERY good day!!!! - just in general not food or goal oriented in any way, but need the day away and all the laughs after suck a horrible week at work

 

Week1 Day 7

yoga:no it's the weekend

gardening: no didn't make my goal this week

Food:

left over burgers with fried mushrooms and onions

peach

chips

was ripping out tile and stripping the paint off my cabinets in my bathroom and slept alot today.  I'm really hoping once this project is done my stress level will go down some.

 

Week 1 wrap up

Yoga: 3/3 for the week

Gardening: 1/2 for the week

Celebrate Recovery yes - 1/3 for the challenge

Food:I think I had 1 day that was totally paleo - not good!!!

 

 

Week 2 Day 1 - holiday

Food:

2 eggs on a bun

ribs, squash hashbrowns

worked on my bathroom some more today, the finish on my bathtub is not playing nice/not coming off, hoping it starts to work with me so I can paint it soon - took more paint off the cabinets.

 

I also started week 1 of a 9 week strength training program they are offering at my crossfit box.  Hurt alot doing it but I'm not sore today which is a good thing?!?!???

 

 

Week2 Day 2 - 2nd meeting of Celebrate Recovery tonight

Yoga: no

Gardening - not yet

Food: (so far)

salad with chicken breast