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Pretzle

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Thanks :) I've also looked into the UP-  which looks brilliant... But... I need something that can sync to my laptop or desktop. If nothing changes I think I'll go with the fitbit flex :)

 

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I did 2 negatives and one 1/4 of the way up chin-up. 

 

Ok, rant incoming... Skip if you dislike blahdiblah-ing or negative talk. 

 

So... Yesterday I tried to go to bed at 8.30, clearly failed and I got back out of bed to read a bit, eat instant noodles (ugh) and browse until 23.30. Why did I want to go to bed that early? I was bored out of my mind and feeling pretty 'blah' (which is just another word for depressed as F...)

 

Today wasn't much better. We went to church in the morning (religion used to be very important to me, now I either don't care (believe but don't care where I'll end up) or am not sure I believe at all. I feel like blaming the meds, but I think it's more than that. Either way, it makes everything seem even more useless (because if religion isn't true, there's no reason at all why I have to stay around, in my logic). After church I had a pretty decent hour, had lunch and then had a nap. Which should've been half an hour. Apparently I slept through my alarm (which randomly goes very quiet, I have to say) 3 times! So I woke up rather late, at half past four. I hope that won't ruin my sleep tonight... 

 

After that? Made dinner, I quite liked it (fennel potato bake), husband ate it but doesn't like it. I got annoyed with that, didn't fight or anything, but just made me annoyed with him. After dinner...? Ouch. I'm irritated, 'angry' (not even sure if it's anger, just a very, very restless feeling making me want to hit myself, scratch myself or just jump around like a crazy person until my heels hurt from jumping. Stuff I do NOT do, but it makes me want to.) It made me wonder why (always does, but now I have a theory). Husband told me to go take a walk, I did. It probably helped a little. I dragged myself around the neighbourhood at speed 3-out-of-10 (if 10 is normal) and then came back home, did some pull-up work (like... 3 total tries) and had a shower. I'm still restless with this horrible feeling in my stomach. And just annoyed, so very very angry/irritated/annoyed. 

 

Now... Friday I got this book out of the library 'Leven in je leven' ('Reinventing your life' is the English title). This is a book my therapist recommended to me before she went on holiday. I started reading it Friday and read quite a bit of it yesterday, too. It's about 11 common pitfalls/patterns that can cause problems in your life. I did the general test and ehh, out of 11 there's only ONE pitfall that does not seem to apply at all. 3 or so seem to have played a role in my childhood but not so much anymore... Which leaves ehhh... 7, of which 3-4 pretty huge ones. I knew I had problems, but that many different things? So... I wonder if reading this book is causing my current emotional state. And other than that, therapy is starting again this week and I have some other appointments. Immediately (now that I have ANY appointments other than things like 'meet my parents' 'meet with NF people' (basically... all 'fun' stuff) I'm so very tired, stressed and feel like nothing has any use again. 

 

And that after thinking I was really doing better over the last few weeks... 

 

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Just needed to rant, I guess.

 

You sound like you could use a hug or three. Not caught up on your thread yet, but hoping you're already feeling better - and also knowing these things ebb and flow, so it won't just go away and stay away.

 

It may not look/feel that way from where you sit, but identifying problems is a step on the road to dealing with them. Even if you've got surprisingly many. And yes, reading stuff that addresses my problems can send me into a short term down, even while helping in the long term, so I wouldn't be surprised at all to find you having the same effect.

 

 

Level 6 Dark Elf Ranger

STR 5 | DEX 3 | STA 16 | CON 10 | WIS 13 | CHA 6

Current Challenge  Battle Log   Past: 5 4 3 2 1 0.1

 

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Thanks :D 

 

I'm feeling a bit better, but not spectacularly. 

 

Yesterday I did a quick pull-up practice at my parents' place (2 sets of 5 partial pull-ups, hanging on stairs). Which means last week I met my pull-up practice goal and my internet-free-day goal, but I only squatted once.

 

We just got home today and I pretty much went straight to the gym. I'm feeling a bit out of sorts, whether that's because of not-enough-exercise (only one proper work out last week) or that mayyybe I'm getting ill (temperature was 37.5, which is on the high side for me). But I did it, anyways. 

 

5 minutes of rowing

Squatting

(after warming up) 3 x 10 @ 57.5 kgs

Bench

2 x 10 @ 25 kgs, last set I managed 8 reps.

 

Then I did a very lazy plank attempt, 5 minutes on the epiliptical and got out of there. Haha. Oh well, squatting is done!

level 10 wood elf assassin

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So... I finally managed to call in sick to the right organisation, even if my former employer has been ... difficult about it. This means that right now I'm literally stuck at home, as I have to wait for a phonecall before I'm allowed to go out and do stuff. Boo. 

 

Which means that yesterday I attempted a circuit training workout... Attempted, yes. 

 

I managed 1(!) round. Guess strength really is different from circuit training and if I don't keep doing both circuit training will kick my ass in way fewer rounds than I'd like. Oh well, I have some pretty serious DOMS in my abs, so I guess it must've done something and count as a workout. 

 

I did: 

1 minute each (no breaks in-between) of: 

Planking

Lunges

Burpees (oh, without push-ups in there, but getting in push-up positiong, jumping to squat, jumping up) - I didn't make a full minute

Push-ups (order of exercises was a bit out of whack) managed about 30 seconds

Jumping Jacks 

Active/passive hanging (felt like a break, hehe!)

Mountain climbers (gave up after 30 seconds). 

 

I might be able to get in another round of squatting on Sunday if I'm lucky (Saturday is full with social obligations, and for now I'm still waiting for that phonecall).

 

That workout counts for the pull-up/chin-up practice, though. 

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level 10 wood elf assassin

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Muwahahah...ha...haha...ha. 

 

Sooooo, I'm not doing too well at making my goals this week *puh!*

 

Today I had to wait at home again for a phonecall that hasn't happened so far. Boo. 

 

At night I'm allowed out (FREEEEDOM!) so I decided to go to the gym. Couldn't be bothered to go lifting though (what happened????) but I could be bothered to sign up for the Zumba class and join in.

 

I. 'Danced'. At. The. Gym. ZOMG! 

 

So yes, that happened :D First half hour was very, very awkward but the second part of the lesson I really started to enjoy myself, even if I couldn't keep up with some of the movements and had to laugh out loud at myself several times. But I did it, and it was GREAT fun. So that's a win in my book. 

 

It didn't feel like a workout so much, but... fun. And fun is good, definitely in my current state of mind. 

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level 10 wood elf assassin

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Great job on the zumba :). I did it a few times, and I had tons of fun. Nobody except the trainer is looking at you, so don't worry about feeling awkward ;). I can't imagine that there are people that do not feel awkward the first time they do zumba.

 

Do you have to sit inside at home all day until you feel good enough to work again? If that's the case, you should ask the company doctor to tell your (former) employer that you need to exercise more. Seriously. If you're dealing with a depression, exercise and sunlight help even more than meds for most people. I understand that they don't like it that they have to continue to pay you, but it is their task to help you recover as fast as possible.

 

Your circuit time seems a bit long. Can you manage the BBWW? It is a bit shorter, but still circuit training. It always feels better to do something challenging that you can actually achieve than to try the impossible ;).

 

Have a nice weekend!

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Nah, luckily it's just until they phone me. Which should happen in 'a few days after I first contacted them' (which was Tuesday). It wasn't really the first time I told them, but because of my former employer not telling the UWV that I'm ill it took a bit longer to get things properly started. So I'm just waiting for the first phonecall (told them I won't be home on Monday - it's my sister-in-law's wedding, so yeah ;)) and then I should be able to do 'whatever will help me recover sooner/better'.

 

I did a few circuit trainings like this while I still exercised at work, but I suppose I was a bit fitter back then (/more used to bootcamp training and the like).

 

Thanks for your comment :) Have a good weekend :) Annnd Good luck with your new job (it's starting soon isn't it?) 

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level 10 wood elf assassin

Intro1st challenge | .... | 6th | 7th | 8th | 9th | 10th | Current @ warriors

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So. I've decided I'd like to lose some weight (I'm talking 2-4 kgs here, not a whole lot, don't worry :P). It's just that ever since working out more seriously I think I've slipped into the mindset that it's therefore ok to eat more, and more bad stuff, too. So that'll have to go! 

 

I'm quite sure I know theoretically how to do it, but I'm a bit worried because (oh the luxury)... I've never wanted to lose weight before. So I'm afraid that even for all the theoretical knowledge I won't be able to actually do it. So any 'You can do it Pretzle!!! We believe in you!" replies are very welcome :) 

 

I've started today. For breakfast (late, got up at 11 ;)) I had a banana, 4 raspberries and 3 walnuts (lol so specific, it's only because I picked the only-ripe raspberries from our bush that I know this, and grabbed some nuts to go with my supplements to have a bit of fat). 

 

For lunch I had 2 fried eggs, 3 slices of salami, some lettuce with some grated cheese (maybe 1 1/2 tablespoons) and some chives and cumeric on top (and salt/pepper). 

 

I've had one cup of coffee (with some milk) and a glass of water so far. 

 

I'm thinking I'll make some shepherd-pie-ish dish tonight for dinner, with some salad. 

 

I'm mostly wondering what'll be easiest for me, get rid of snacks... or eat smaller portions at meals. I'm thinking the second one will be more realistic. I tend to eat A LOT, especially for dinner (read: Husband, who's 1.90-something, comments that the portions I give him are 'A WHOLE PILE OF FOOD' -  I eat the same portions...)

 

For exercise, we had a 30 minute walk this morning, I'm planning on doing some pull-up work later today.

 

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TL;DR, I need to lose a tiny amount of weight, afraid I can't do it!

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level 10 wood elf assassin

Intro1st challenge | .... | 6th | 7th | 8th | 9th | 10th | Current @ warriors

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You can do it Pretzle! I believe in you :). I also never really tried to lose weight, but I noticed that I lose weight when I bike a lot, eat decent meals and a very limited amount of snacks. Sometimes I want to lose a bit of weight, and then snacking and skipping dessert helps. Also, try to eat more vegetables than you normally do, you feel full and eat less calories at the same time. And vegetables are tasty. And many of them are in season ;).

 

How did the first week go? I'm sure you can do it!

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