Spazzing With Razzy

[Razzy]

Lemme post this first before I forget again....

 

Workout:

• 15 20lb jump squats (I'm thinking of switching these to frog jumps, because those really kick ass. literally.)
• 14 explosive pushups
• 6 pullups
• 20 30lb deadlifts
• 14 tricep dips (I could only manage 14 before my arms collapsed)
• 15 alternate toe-touches
• 8 T-stabilizations
• 10 hanging leg raises

Bike time: 20 min

 

I'm swapping out the old and true reverse crunch for an alternating toe-tap thing. I don't know what it's called. Lay flat on your back, hands above your head. Lift yourself up (kinda like doing a V-up) and tap your left toe legs straight!) with your right hand. Lower back down. To that with the left hand/right foot and alternate. If you haven't done these, I highly recommend them. They kick ass.

 

Also doing more leg raises and explosive pushups. Getting better and stronger, booya!

 

Yesterday wasn't so great. I had stayed up till 7AM monday finishing homework. I slept in my clothes, sports bra and all, for 2 hours and headed to class. But I did my workout afterwards, so can't say I'm not dedicated.

 

Of course, i was so freaking exhausted I didn't want to cook, so we ended up with chinese take-out. >:& ICK. So I made a salad and went to bed early. xD

 

 

I'm the same way, I struggle with seasonal depression and anxiety, but when I eat better and exercise life is SO much better. I think that is fantastic that you have a couple to mentor you!

 

Have you checked out Raptron's thread in assassins? She does adult gymnastics. I bet she could give you some pointers on putting together a routine.

 

Oh man, seasonal depression is the absolute worst. Always feel my highest in summer and the rock bottom in winter. If you're somewhere that gets long, snowy winters like I am, I definitely know your pain. But the exercise and eating clean has definitely alleviated some of that. I wish I'd known about it sooner!

 

 

I have not seen Raptron's thread at all! 8D THANK YOU SO MUCH! OH GOD, YOU ARE A LIVESAVER!

 

*sprints away to find the thread and beg for help*

[Elastigirl]

Lemme post this first before I forget again....

 

Workout:

• 15 20lb jump squats (I'm thinking of switching these to frog jumps, because those really kick ass. literally.)
• 14 explosive pushups
• 6 pullups
• 20 30lb deadlifts
• 14 tricep dips (I could only manage 14 before my arms collapsed)
• 15 alternate toe-touches
• 8 T-stabilizations
• 10 hanging leg raises

Bike time: 20 min

 

I'm swapping out the old and true reverse crunch for an alternating toe-tap thing. I don't know what it's called. Lay flat on your back, hands above your head. Lift yourself up (kinda like doing a V-up) and tap your left toe legs straight!) with your right hand. Lower back down. To that with the left hand/right foot and alternate. If you haven't done these, I highly recommend them. They kick ass.

 

Also doing more leg raises and explosive pushups. Getting better and stronger, booya!

 

Yesterday wasn't so great. I had stayed up till 7AM monday finishing homework. I slept in my clothes, sports bra and all, for 2 hours and headed to class. But I did my workout afterwards, so can't say I'm not dedicated.

 

Of course, i was so freaking exhausted I didn't want to cook, so we ended up with chinese take-out. >:& ICK. So I made a salad and went to bed early. xD

 

 

 

Oh man, seasonal depression is the absolute worst. Always feel my highest in summer and the rock bottom in winter. If you're somewhere that gets long, snowy winters like I am, I definitely know your pain. But the exercise and eating clean has definitely alleviated some of that. I wish I'd known about it sooner!

 

 

I have not seen Raptron's thread at all! 8D THANK YOU SO MUCH! OH GOD, YOU ARE A LIVESAVER!

 

*sprints away to find the thread and beg for help*

We don't get snow, just rain. Day after day of gray drizzly rain. The upside is, it really isn't too cold to walk in, and if I get off my butt to go outside it does help.

Raptron will be excited to find someone who loves gymnastics and wants advice.

[Razzy]

We don't get snow, just rain. Day after day of gray drizzly rain. The upside is, it really isn't too cold to walk in, and if I get off my butt to go outside it does help.

Raptron will be excited to find someone who loves gymnastics and wants advice.

 

Ah, yes, rain. Seattle? I've seen multiple times that Seattle has the highest suicide rate because of all the rain. It's hard for me to imagine rain as being depressing though -- to this day I'll go out and just stand in it if there isn't any lightning! (But yes, I'm totally weird like that. I embrace my weirdness.)

 

Also THANK YOU SO MUCH for directing me to Raptron! Oh my lord, the advice -- before, I was facing this massive bear of a task I had no idea how to tackle. Now, I got a process and a method and it seems so darn simple to do! I am also in your debt!

 

Okay so, daily update!

 

Workout:

• 15 20lb jump squats (I'm thinking of switching these to frog jumps, because those really kick ass. literally.)
• 14 explosive pushups
• 6 pullups
• 20 30lb deadlifts
• 14 tricep dips (I could only manage 14 before my arms collapsed)
• 15 alternate toe-touches
• 8 T-stabilizations
• 10 hanging leg raises

Bike time: 20 min

 

Those deadlifts are just not doing anything for me. I HAVE to find a way to up the weight on them somehow....

 

The alternate toe-touches are BRUTUAL. 15 makes my whole core just ache on the first circuit! So, in the naturally predictable way of a fitness nerd, I love the darn things. Heh.

 

OH! I got such a WONDERFUL (inadvertent) compliment today! ^_____^ I'm still preening about it.

 

So it was creative writing class today, mkay? We got into groups and workshopped each other's pieces. Because I've been writing fervently since, Iunno, 5th grade, I've got a LOT of practice and always have a lot of advice to give -- not that they are bad writers or anything! They just aren't aware of the tricks and nuances of writing the way years of experience has taught me. (Not to toot my horn or anything....)

 

(....moving on....)

 

So anyway, after we were done, one of the girls in my little group asked me if I was an athlete! I looked surprised and she said, "Your arms look really toned...." and I laughed and said, no, not an athlete, I just do strength training. She got all flustered, thinking she was being awkward and creepy but I assured her otherwise. I felt so damn vindicated. Granted, I had just done my workout not 90 minutes ago and I was wearing a muscle shirt -- well, not really, but cap sleeves make anything a muscle shirt. (Hint Hint, ladies!) So those factors helped, but still! I'm grinning even now!

 

I was mistaken for an athlete and it felt AWESOME!

 

Hahahahahaha, I'm fangirling all over it now. That really made my day!

 

 

Consumption Log:

breakfast:

2 eggs

coffee

 

Lunch (post workout)

1 banana

 

Dinner:

chinese chicken and vegetables (I rinsed that nasty, greasy sauce off in a colander. So this probably ended up being much healthier than it would have otherwise!)

1/2 cup of white rice

(seasoned with Worcestershire sauce)

a salad w/ some feta and 3 olives

 

After:

about 1/4 cup of mixed nuts, mostly almonds and cashews. Was feeling a little nommish and after 2 water bottles did nothing, I figured it might've been a protein hankering.

[Elastigirl]

If you like rain, you should move to Seattle. I've read that too about the suicide rates, I think the winter darkness contributes to that.

 

So awesome that you got a compliment, and a well deserved one. You are an athlete, I've seen your training and it is impressive!

[Razzy]

Firefox just crashed and totally annihilated my freaking post.

 

T_T

[Razzy]

T_T I just... i think firefox hates me because I remade my post and it wiped it out again. MY LIFE BE HELL.

If you like rain, you should move to Seattle. I've read that too about the suicide rates, I think the winter darkness contributes to that.

 

So awesome that you got a compliment, and a well deserved one. You are an athlete, I've seen your training and it is impressive!

 

Ouch, dark, wet and cold.... sounds like the perfect setting for a Gothic novel doesn't it? Ha, that explains a lot!

 

Also, my reaction in order:

 

*squee*

 

*ohstopityou*

 

*VIRTUAL HUG*

 

(I had all these really cute pics, but didn't use them because whenever I do, the thing crashes. )

 

Thank you sweety! *SUPER HUG!* Such simple words and yet they mean so much!

 

 

 

So, I had this post that should have been posted last night, but for some reason it didn't go through. So, I post it now:

 

Did my workout Saturday. *waves a flag* Yaaaaay....

 

Got some kind of respiratory infection over the weekend. I could FEEL it get worse by the hour last night. It hurts to swallow and breathing is a strain. Super sucks.

 

*FLIP TABLE MEME HERE*

 

And it came on right before my dance exam, too! But I did the dance exam today and it was a breeze, I had a lot of fun and apparently I have one of the best zombie faces in the whole class. WHOOHOO!

 

*Freddie Mercury success meme here*

 

Anyway, last 2 days I've been up till 6AM doing work on that stupid mid-term portfolio. For some bizarre reason the prof actually WAITED to give us the damn rubric for it, ensuring we'd only have one weekend to do all this  mind-numblingly stupid crap. As if we don't have other classes, you dumb jackass. >_>

 

But still, it's almost done. BUT I still haven't found time to even get started on my gymnastics routine, so that answers any questions as to what I'll be doing THIS weekend and after class most days. *sigh*

 

And I'm sick.

 

Possibly pneumonia, because that's what my friend has and i saw him not a day before I got this sore throat and heavy breathing issue.

 

Also, last 2 days (the 6AM ones) I've had bad chocolate cravings. I think I'm also eating far too deficit but the problem is I'm just not hungry and don't really get hungry until my blood sugar drops. So maybe that call for chocolate is a sign from my body to shape up. It isn't that I'm starving myself intentionally. I'm just freaking busy. I can't cook all the time and if I'm staying up til 6AM to do homework for two days running, you know how frantic I am. Also not working up a hunger because all that homework involves sitting and writing for ENDLESS HOURS.

 

My butt hurts.

[Muscle Professor]

Yaay! [hugs] Well, even that much makes me feel good. Thank you, Sloth~

 

 

Lol, well, I'd be lying if I said it was through sheer willpower alone. The Adderall helps, for sure. It literally suppresses my hunger like you wouldn't believe. If I can actually feel hunger pangs while on Adderall, I know that I would normally be curled up around my stomach from the hunger pain. :\

 

Often my lunch is merely something I bolt down between classes, which is why I favor bananas and fruit or cheese. Gives me the energy to keep going. Otherwise, I usually find that lunch would be too much for me, I'm not hungry for an actual meal. (Maybe a salad, because they are so low calorie, but yeah....) I usually eat around 9:30AM and dinner is around 6:30-7PM. In between, I don't get REALLY hungry, not for anything more than a snack. If I do eat more, I feel sluggish and bloated and don't eat at dinner.... which makes me really hungry around 10:00 and makes me prone to snacking on bad things! O_O So I usually just wave at lunch as I go by.

 

Also, I do have a metric ton of protein at breakfast, come to think of it. Coffee (which I always use with a 1/4cup of milk (measured!) ) eggs, and yogurt (which is more protein.) That's a lot of protein right there. It keeps me kicking throughout the day, that's for sure. I don't even start to actually feel hungry until 6:00PM, with that breakfast.

 

 

OKAY! So, it's been a while, but boy has it been busy. The wedding was beautiful. But I hate hard-soled men's shoes. Apparently 'hard soled' means 'perfectly smooth plastic.' As my fiance was going down the church stairs (he was in the wedding party, one of the groomsmen) his foot rolled right out from under him on the tile. He couldn't grab the rail because he had his jacket in his other hand -- the mother of the bride made it VERY SPECIFIC that they were not to wear their jackets in the car, lest they wrinkle. So he landed hard on his foot on the step below and his foot slid right out from under him like a buttered eel. And he landed hard on it again. He twisted his ankle really good. Just to put this in perspective: I was in 4-inch heels and I was doing better on the tile stairs than he was.

 

Of course, what does this mean? It means I couldn't dance with my fiance at the wedding. > Made me very unhappy.

 

The reception was the full monte: I heard the wedding cost was something like 14grand. DAYUM. However, my fiance and I left early. Why?

 

There was a creeper.

 

And I don't mean the Minecraft type, I mean the human creepy, undressing-you-with-his-eyes type. I was wearing the red dress you've all probably seen by now. Sheathe, with ruching up one side, it's a nice dress. I went with one of the guests at my table to the open bar to get a class of wine.

 

As we stood there, waiting for the guy to pour the wine, this guy standing at the bar with a beer in hand turns around and looks at me. I didn't make eye contact, but I saw him look me up and down with this look on his face like, "Damn, I want to tap that." And let me be very clear, it's very flattering and all if a guy notices you and looks appreciative. But this was a leer in the truest sense of the word. This guy was visibly undressing me with his eyes and he had that look like he was hanging at the bar to get some ass. And his opening line wasn't smooth either. After he had truly eyeballed me openly -- he wasn't being discrete, it was as subtle as a Mack truck -- he goes, "Hi!"

 

And I said, "Hi!" brightly back. Then my drink came, I grabbed it and walked back to my table.

 

Then I was truly not blessed with luck this day because it turns out this creeper sat right behind me at the table next to mine. I mean, right behind me. He could've reached out and tapped my shoulder.

 

So, as the first dances start (mom and son, dad and daughter) we're all watching. But I see this guy keep throwing looks at me over his shoulder. Sneaky little looks. Like I said, it's nice to be noticed, very flattering, makes all my hard work in eating clean and exercising validated but.... this guy had no class. It's one thing to be appreciative, another to be openly lewd about it.

 

But this gets worse.

 

Remember I told you my fiance couldn't dance because of his ankle? Well, I didn't know how bad it was until the dance floor opened up. And I wanted to drag him out to dance but he demurred. So I stood by my table and he just stood in place while I did a few dance steps, just trying to get in some fun. I had told him about this creepy guy earlier. As I danced (did a few cha-cha steps) my fiance's face suddenly gets furious and he grabs me and pushes me behind him.

 

Apparently, Mr. Creeper had been looking at my ass (even though I had put on my long dress shell) and his expression was less than... shall I say, appropriate? And then he stared at my fiance openly in what I can only say was a very challenging manner. I know a lot of this sounds sketchy but the body language was very clear. The guy was acting like he didn't care if I was engaged or not, or if my fiance was there, he'd move in without blinking.

 

I mean, come on. You're at a wedding. Show some class, for God's sake.

 

We told the groom about this guest. Turns out, it was his uncle. *sigh* So yeah. We left early before anything happened and it really had me bummed because I wanted to use some of my dance moves I've been learning.

 

ANYWAY!

 

In other news, here is a picture of the MASSIVE BEHEMOTH watermelon produced by my garden.

 

 

That Goliath there weighs in at 32lbs and 12oz. Nearly 33 pounds. I don't know what to do with the damn thing. Any watermelon recipes? Heh heh...

 

Oh, and before I forget, expect to see some pictures of me as a zombie. This weekend, I'm going to be dancing with most of my jazz class in some dinner benefit thing. The theme is 'Old Monster Movies.' So for the entertainment value, the jazz students have been taught the Thriller dance (well, a good chunk of it rather) and we will be in costume and makeup and do this dance for the event! YAY EXTRA CREDIT!

 

It sounds fun, so I signed up. And then I practiced that dance until I have it down in my sleep. Lotsa fun! Tomorrow or Thursday, I will go to the thrift store and get some clothes to mess up for the costume. They'll be doing hair and makeup at the actual show for us, so that's already taken care of!

 

That is this Saturday, so wish me luck. I expect it to be a lot of fun! I've already started working on my zombie scream.

 

Also:

 

Workout:

• 15 20lb jump squats (I'm thinking of switching these to frog jumps, because those really kick ass. literally.)
• 12 explosive pushups
• 6 pullups
• 20 30lb deadlifts
• 14 tricep dips (I could only manage 14 before my arms collapsed)
• 15 10lb reverse crunch
• 8 T-stabilizations
• 8 hanging leg raises (may bump this up to 10)

Bike time: 35min

 

My only sins today and last night were some peanut butter. But on top of the wedding cake and the cake my fiance brought over from a coworker's bday, and the chinese take out when we helped a friend close up the pool..... yeah. I'm not happy about that bit.

This watermelon looks like the by product of things growing near radiation lol.

[Razzy]

Oh my gaawwwwwwd screw this cold.

 

I did an abbreviated workout yesterday:

 

Workout:

• 20 30lb squats
• 14 explosive pushups
• 6 pullups
• 20 30lb deadlifts
• 14 tricep dips (I could only manage 14 before my arms collapsed)
• 15 alternate toe-touches
• 8 T-stabilizations
• 10 hanging leg raises

And i only did 2 circuits, and a partial third. (Squats, pushups and pullups, basically.)

 

SCREW THIS COLD.

 

UGH. Making life so much more difficult!

 

I forced myself to eat some stuff yesterday too. Haven't felt hunger pangs in days. If i had my stupid log book here, i'd just list the last 3-4 days for you. I've barely eaten anything most days. *sigh*

 

And taht gymnastics routine is just hovering over me like a Damocles' Sword. T_T If there were even ONE GYM I could practice in....

 

but no. Nope.

 

[sCREAMS INCOHERENTLY BETWEEN FITS OF DRY COUGHING]

[Razzy]

This watermelon looks like the by product of things growing near radiation lol.

 

HAHAHAHA!

 

DAY = MADE

 

Oh man, i just saw your post after I posted mine and I just giggled and wheezed through one nostril for like five minutes. Got weird looks from some people and it made me laugh more.

 

Thank you for that, Lanny. I needed it!

[Elastigirl]

Hope it isn't pnuemonia and you feel better soon.

 

What about protein shakes? You can drink them even when you don't feel hungry and it would help you get your calories in.

[Muscle Professor]

HAHAHAHA!

 

DAY = MADE

 

Oh man, i just saw your post after I posted mine and I just giggled and wheezed through one nostril for like five minutes. Got weird looks from some people and it made me laugh more.

 

Thank you for that, Lanny. I needed it!

Im happy that I could make you make noises that disturb people.

[Razzy]

Hope it isn't pnuemonia and you feel better soon.

 

What about protein shakes? You can drink them even when you don't feel hungry and it would help you get your calories in.

 

Me too. Seems like my worthless joke for medical care doesn't know what it is either. So. Yippee.

 

Oh, protein shakes are a great idea. That's actually quite clever. If only my mother wasn't so viciously opposed to protein shakes; she views the need for protein shakes as a judgement upon her cooking, that her meals are not 'adequate'. Still, she's been 300 miles away since June 20th (the day I got engaged, actually). I might be able to make this work.

 

I won't lie, I have slipped in my dietary controls lately. And it's Halloween. Yesterday, I actually had ice cream! O_O I've no doubt I'll be kicking myself for it later, but it actually did feel good on my throat a little bit. And I have this habit of taking about 4 M&Ms after I have to choke down that nasty ass cough syrup. EUGH.

 

Im happy that I could make you make noises that disturb people.

 

It was right around Halloween too, good and seasonal sounding. :3

 

 

So. It's been a while because I've been so damn sick. My last workout was on.....geez, was it really Thursday? Damn. Since then I've been laid up in bed with a persistent low grade fever, screwed up sinuses and no voice. That's right! I haven't been able to speak since Wednesday night. The best I can manage is a breathy whisper without tearing up the vocal cords and bringing on a coughing fit.

 

And boy, the coughing has gotten so much worse. My abs are actually screaming because I've been coughing so much. The evenings are the worst. I have coughed so hard that my 'voice' -- such as it is -- comes out on a very hard and VERY painful squeak.

 

So, I went to the doctor on Thursday and he said, 'breathe steam, take alieve' and I got an inhaler after I asked for it, so that's all I had. Since I saw him, my condition has worsened and stayed that way for THREE DAYS with no improvement. None. Now, the doc took a throat swab for testing and we had to wait until Monday for the results. I called today to see what those results were.

 

"Well, good news! It isn't strep!"

 

ARE.

YOU.

FUCKING.

KIDDING.

 

OF COURSE it isn't strep, you dumb sonofabitch. People lose their voice with strep because it's too painful to SPEAK. The only pain I have in my throat is the bloody rawness from coughing nonstop once the sun goes down. By the way, a strep test takes TEN FUCKING MINUTES. I should know, I had it twice and each time they stepped outside, did their little test, and were back in the room with the results ten minutes later. So that means I must be too young and stupid for this doctor to take seriously.

 

NOW he wants me to come in and get tested for mono! Oh, really! Mono! Like I don't sanitize my hands before I put anything in my mouth! Not like I go around sucking on gym equipment either. Dumb fucker.

 

I'm done with this place. I'm collecting my medical records and leaving. Screw this shit.

[Razzy]

This cold has seen me gain at least 4 pounds and I know it because the docs weighed me. I feel like fatty McGimGims over here but I'm still just sick enough to preclude real exercise. *pants* Okay, I figure I'll at least do some biking. That's certainly much better than just sitting here, yeah? I feel that by Thursday I will be at least at an exercise-level of wellness once again. Damn, this cold took it out of me. A LOT. But only felt an upswing when those antibiotics started working. Asshat should've given those to me from the start. Oh my god, my fatty mcgimgim head is splitting open. Stupid sinuses. Stupid mucus.

 

Forgive me if I say odd things. I feel odd and I'm still going to class.

 

stupid overachieving straight-a dumbass. but if I don't go, how else am I supposed to get the homework assignments?

[Muscle Professor]

Me too. Seems like my worthless joke for medical care doesn't know what it is either. So. Yippee.

 

Oh, protein shakes are a great idea. That's actually quite clever. If only my mother wasn't so viciously opposed to protein shakes; she views the need for protein shakes as a judgement upon her cooking, that her meals are not 'adequate'. Still, she's been 300 miles away since June 20th (the day I got engaged, actually). I might be able to make this work.

 

I won't lie, I have slipped in my dietary controls lately. And it's Halloween. Yesterday, I actually had ice cream! O_O I've no doubt I'll be kicking myself for it later, but it actually did feel good on my throat a little bit. And I have this habit of taking about 4 M&Ms after I have to choke down that nasty ass cough syrup. EUGH.

 

 

It was right around Halloween too, good and seasonal sounding. :3

 

 

So. It's been a while because I've been so damn sick. My last workout was on.....geez, was it really Thursday? Damn. Since then I've been laid up in bed with a persistent low grade fever, screwed up sinuses and no voice. That's right! I haven't been able to speak since Wednesday night. The best I can manage is a breathy whisper without tearing up the vocal cords and bringing on a coughing fit.

 

And boy, the coughing has gotten so much worse. My abs are actually screaming because I've been coughing so much. The evenings are the worst. I have coughed so hard that my 'voice' -- such as it is -- comes out on a very hard and VERY painful squeak.

 

So, I went to the doctor on Thursday and he said, 'breathe steam, take alieve' and I got an inhaler after I asked for it, so that's all I had. Since I saw him, my condition has worsened and stayed that way for THREE DAYS with no improvement. None. Now, the doc took a throat swab for testing and we had to wait until Monday for the results. I called today to see what those results were.

 

"Well, good news! It isn't strep!"

 

ARE.

YOU.

FUCKING.

KIDDING.

 

OF COURSE it isn't strep, you dumb sonofabitch. People lose their voice with strep because it's too painful to SPEAK. The only pain I have in my throat is the bloody rawness from coughing nonstop once the sun goes down. By the way, a strep test takes TEN FUCKING MINUTES. I should know, I had it twice and each time they stepped outside, did their little test, and were back in the room with the results ten minutes later. So that means I must be too young and stupid for this doctor to take seriously.

 

NOW he wants me to come in and get tested for mono! Oh, really! Mono! Like I don't sanitize my hands before I put anything in my mouth! Not like I go around sucking on gym equipment either. Dumb fucker.

 

I'm done with this place. I'm collecting my medical records and leaving. Screw this shit.

You are so full of fire! You sound like a fighter and I feel sorry for your lover lol. Feel better soon.

[Razzy]

You are so full of fire! You sound like a fighter and I feel sorry for your lover lol. Feel better soon.

 

Lol,  a lot of people have been telling me that lately. I don't feel that fiery. I just feel frustrated.

 

 

I HAVE GAINED 5LBS BECAUSE OF THIS STUPID COLD! ARRRRRG. This is truly just -- frustrating. Fight like hell to eat good and stay active but the sugar and the fat just keeps COMING BACK. I'm honestly starting to feel like a yo-yo. Up and down, up and down. This is maddening. I wish I could just stay on the straight and narrow for a solid, clear 6 months and not have to worry and angst about it all the time. I swear, I'm THIS CLOSE to just screaming, tearing my hair out and running in triangles. God, I hate my stupid pathetic will save whenever I get sick!

 

The sugar cravings are very bad. As is my craving for unhealthy mexican food. I think it's because I can actually taste that stuff. My sense of taste is a little off kilter still. And I'm sucking down cough drops like no tomorrow just to keep a semblance of politeness in class!

 

 

Speaking of class, whoo boy that was a disaster today. Whatever this cold is, it's definitely in my chest. I've been taking it easy, ja? I didn't exercise yesterday because my limbs were all weak and shaky and leaping about with weights and unstable muscle control is, generally, as a rule, not advisable. So in gymnastics class today, we do 10 laps around the gym just as warm up. Easy right?

 

Yeah. Sure. I only managed about 6 laps and proceeded to spend the next 10 minutes trying to regurgitate a lung. I did NOT expect that to happen whatsoever. Even the instructor looked concerned. She asked if I had to go home. I actually had to call my dad and ask him to run out another dose of the cough suppressant meds AND the inhaler just so I could get through dance class. And halfway through warm-ups, I had a coughing fit again. Hard enough to warrant several classmates and my professor saying, "Just sit down, take a breather. Do you need water?" I got kinda dizzy.

 

So this SUCKS. This ROYALLY, SUPER SUCKS. Not only has this stupid cold screwed with my tastebuds so I'm craving the worst shit, but it's also actively impairing my ability to get back on the exercise horse and kick ass. MY MUSCLES ARE LEEEEEEEAAAAAAVVVIIIIINNNNNNGGGGG MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

 

*phew* Okay. Had to get that out.

 

But no, it really is super frustrating. I'm pissed. I'm kicking myself everyday for that bite of chocolate that I really don't need but I don't feel like I've eaten anything till I have it. But I've stopped the muscle weakness/trembling thing, so tomorrow I'm going to throw myself into a workout in earnest. If I have to cough through every rep, I don't care. Gotta keep the weight down, the muscle and activity up and the sugar gone. (Except for the 1tbs of coffee creamer, because coffee is rapidly becoming a sacred tool for getting me out of bed this last week and a half.)

 

I'm gonna do it.

 

I'm gonna kick ass.

 

I'm gonna straighten out and shape up, literally.

 

And I'm gonna make a kick-ass gymnastics floor routine for next Wednesday -- the instructor was kind enough to grant me an extra week to do my midterm. I'm glad she did. I'm not sure who was more surprised by the coughing fit, her or me.

 

And I'm gonna freaking own this.

 

*flicks off all the Halloween candy*

 

*battle cry*

 

*hideous, wracking coughing fit*

 

 

(That pretty much describes my last 10 days right there.)

[Razzy]

I SO KILLED IT!

 

Hahahahahahahaha! *spikes imaginary football into the ground* BOOYA, BABY!

 

Workout:

• 15 20lb jump squats
• 14 explosive pushups
• 6 pullups
• 20 30lb deadlifts
• 14 tricep dips
• 15 alternate toe-touches
• 8 T-stabilizations
• 10 hanging leg raises

Bike time: 20 min

 

That is what I did yesterday. I truly didn't think I'd be able to 3 circuits. At the end of the second circuit, I felt my gas tank was running kinda low. But I said, screw it. I'll give it a shot. If I collapse in the middle of a set, I'll just stop. At least I tried.

 

But I powered through like a BA bee-atch! HAHA! Take THAT you stupid cold! I spent half the day just strutting. I only had to use my inhaler once!

 

I find that when the workouts are difficult, as it was yesterday, I shit-talk myself. "Come on, you bitch, let's go. Show 'em what you got, you think this is hard? High schoolers could do better, now do that pull-up again, this ain't hard, you freaking crybaby!" That's basically the gist of it. xD I pep-talk and shit-talk myself the whole darn time. I think I spent most of the day just muttering to myself, to get back on the horse and kick some major ass.

 

I know for a fact that I was talking to myself in the shower the whole time. The general theme was, "Why do you even eat unhealthy crap? You know it'll just make you feel like crap later, so don't do it! Just don't!" And I think when I finished, I was saying something along the lines of, "See, if you could do all that while still sick, you know this workout is outdated. You gotta update, chica. You gotta keep moving up. Wussy-ass workout." xD Word for word!

 

It may sound pathetic, but sometimes I think we all need to hear a voice rationalizing and explaining why we should and shouldn't do things. Dunno. It's easy to ignore that voice in your head, but when you say it out loud, you can't ignore it.

 

But hey, whatever works. I'll do whatever it takes, you know? I gotta figure on upgrading my stuff though. Maybe make some weights up or something. I don't think I'll ever feel I've TRULY made strides in fitness until I start rocking some serious weights. xD Call it a paradox, call it stupid, call it ironic, I know -- it's all true. I just keep wanting to up the ante. *shrugs*

 

Anyway, I gotta say it went pretty successfully. I KNOW I still ate more than I should've yesterday. (I could not seem to resist the call of pot roast when I went to visit my fiance that evening, even though I had dinner before I left.) But even though I was offered some Oreo's, I turned 'em down like a champ. HA! Kicking ass. Hell yeah. Booya. Still, at least I didn't eat bad shit.

 

Today, I've gotta get in some time to work on my gymnastics thing. The teacher was very kind to give me another week! Thank god for that! However, we are hooking up our house to a natural gas line. (We've been using propane for nearly 30 years.) And the work crew will be in the basement. Not that I'm practicing in the basement -- god knows, not enough room for that down there -- but if I were to do a lot of tumbling and jumping in the living room, that creates a lot of loud banging and pounding on the floor, which is LOUD in the basement. The guys have to communicate somehow, you know? So I gotta wait until they are gone. *sigh*

 

And then TOMORROW, there's that Halloween party. I gotta workout and put on costume and makeup and bring something for the pot luck. And on Sunday, the pre-marriage class! Oy vey, but this will be a very busy weekend. Wish me luck!

[Elastigirl]

Hope the awesome workout means you're finally beating the cold. Ugh, it sounds like a nasty one. It is so hard to stay away from sugar when you are sick, it seems like sweet is the only thing you can taste.

 

Did you try steam? I do a few things, get the shower super hot and run it, then sit outside the shower with the bathroom door closed and let the bathroom fill with steam and sit in there and read for a half hour,  or get a bath super hot  and sit in the steam, or take a big pot of water and bring the water to a boil, move the pot to a table and then put my head over , with a towel draped over my head so I can enclose myself in the steam and use a humidifier at night.

 

Hope you can kick the cold to the curb and feel better soon.

[Barfly]

*Crypt door creaks rustily as it opens and then falls off its deteriorating hinges. The decomposing corpse of a barfly stands in the dark opening*

Hey!

Hope you feel better :-/

Carry some Hall's cough drops with you in the meantime...

[Razzy]

So... I've been late on keeping up and I know. Stupid Halloween Party on the 7th just royally threw my diet, so I'm starting fresh. AGAIN. Which is stupidly hard now because dad keeps putting M&Ms out on the table and I have the pleasure of eating with them right there next to me, morning, noon and night. I feel so BLAH and like big blob I just don't want to move. I just want to sleep. And I had oatmeal, why did I have oatmeal? I haven't had it in YEARS why now? This is crazy.

 

Anyone noticing a binge pattern here? I am. It's worrying.

 

Yesterday:

 

Workout:

• 20 30lb squats
• 14 explosive pushups
• 6 pullups
• 20 30lb deadlifts
• 14 tricep dips
• 15 alternate toe-touches
• 8 T-stabilizations
• 10 hanging leg raises

Bike time: 20 min

 

Definitely lost some strength because of sheer laziness. But I still managed to do 3 circuits. Just.... not well? I think this lingering cold is sapping a bit out of me still. My brain is just fried and I can't seem to focus on anything. And I tire easily. In fact, I'm so tired right now I could sleep through a tornado. But no no, homework and homework and homework and my brain is fried and I can't focus and I really just want to sleep a few days. T_T

 

 

Hope the awesome workout means you're finally beating the cold. Ugh, it sounds like a nasty one. It is so hard to stay away from sugar when you are sick, it seems like sweet is the only thing you can taste.

 

Did you try steam? I do a few things, get the shower super hot and run it, then sit outside the shower with the bathroom door closed and let the bathroom fill with steam and sit in there and read for a half hour,  or get a bath super hot  and sit in the steam, or take a big pot of water and bring the water to a boil, move the pot to a table and then put my head over , with a towel draped over my head so I can enclose myself in the steam and use a humidifier at night.

 

Hope you can kick the cold to the curb and feel better soon.

 

Excellent advice which I did make use of (sorry for the late reply) and thank god it isn't just me that can't seem to taste anything but sugar while on a cold! Okay, I'm not going crazy. Phew.

 

I still think this cold is messing with me though. I can't focus, I'm tired all the time and there's this stupid, lingering cough. >( Now, by the end of the day, I'm starting to get a sore throat again. Lord, if it's another cold right on top of the other one, I'm doomed.

 

And this cough is driving me nuts. It's hard and sporadic. Just the other day I was drinking some coffee. I was tipping the coffee into my mouth when, somewhere, my brain slammed on the big COUGH BUTTON. You know that movie-silly way people spit whatever they're drinking when they're startled/surprised suddenly? That's EXACTLY what I did. It was weird and hilarious at the same time.

 

*Crypt door creaks rustily as it opens and then falls off its deteriorating hinges. The decomposing corpse of a barfly stands in the dark opening*

Hey!
Hope you feel better :-/
Carry some Hall's cough drops with you in the meantime...

 

*CUES THE THRILLER MUSIC*

 

You have returned! *hugs* Welcome back, Barfly!

 

I am actually partial to Ricola cough drops. No sugar and they don't leave a hideous after taste in your mouth.

 

 

So! I'm trying to get back onto the healthy eating bandwagon. here's my log for the day. The extra coffee at the end is because I have so much homework to do. No joke.

 

Log:

 

Breakfast:

2 eggs

light and fit yogurt

coffee

many raspberries

 

Dinner:

salad (3 olives, 1 dolmada)

1/2 of a chicken wrap (leftovers from Mexican place: has lots of chicken, some rice, that bean paste, onions, peppers, tomatoes.... with guacamole) No idea what the calories are on this thing.

1.2 cups of BNS soup. I made some. Couldn't resist.

Coffee (later)

7 Multiseed crackers. Dunno why. Just ate them. Salt, I think. Or maybe I just completely fail at eating clean. I'm seriously starting to think I physically incapable of eating clean indefinitely. The time before the wedding, I had super drive. Where the HELL did it go now?

 

I'm so damn tired, I just can't think.

 

At this point, I am quite comfortably full. I know the salad will account for feeling full, but calorie wise, it isn't much. The olives are 50 calories and the dolmada is 80. Dunno why I keep track of this anymore, but there you go. I am so tired, I could just die. *sigh* And yet, for all the gymnastics and dancing today, I feel as though I ate too much. Guilt? Psyching myself out? Really eat too much? Dunno. Probably all 3. That's just the kind of month I'm having. Everything is just shit and I feel like shit and the days and work that goes by are shit. Today I felt a flash of my energized, happy self. It was fleeting.

 

I have decided to always think the worst regarding my workouts and eating. If I always think I'm on the losing side, then I shall never be tempted to break the rules. See? No 'reward' or 'oh, it's okay'. I've also sworn to not examine myself in the mirror or weigh myself until Christmas. That way I cannot be 'surprised' by 'progress' and continue to think I'm fighting a losing battle. And, on Christmas day, if my plan works, I will give myself a gift of weighing in and being most happy with the result! Yay!

 

Also, some sad news. Found out my second cousin was dead, today. He didn't die today, they aren't sure when, but he was found today. He was a Marine and Vietnam veteran. He had a very hard life but always loved to laugh. Your prayers are much appreciated. His name was Rick.

[Elastigirl]

Sorry about your second cousin and also that your stupid cold is still bothering you. I wouldn't be too hard on yourself for not eating clean, when you are sick and tired, it is even harder to have the will power to say no. Not to mention m&ms always sitting around- ugh that would be hard.Can you imagine they are made of bugs or something?

[Razzy]

Sorry about your second cousin and also that your stupid cold is still bothering you. I wouldn't be too hard on yourself for not eating clean, when you are sick and tired, it is even harder to have the will power to say no. Not to mention m&ms always sitting around- ugh that would be hard.Can you imagine they are made of bugs or something?

 

Thank you. *hugs*

 

I love that idea! Thinking they are bugs is PERFECT, I hate spiders. I will definitely try that.

 

 

I do have to admit, I don't think I'm truly cut out for being healthy. It makes me feel great and I love it. But as I sit here on my friend's couch for the second night in a row, with nothing to eat all day except peanut butter and pizza, I have to think the world is seriously against me. Every attempt to climb out of my hole; every attempt to return to my routine; it always fails. It just fails. This will be about 3 weeks now of not eating well and very little exercise. I spent the entire day on my ass, writing and homework and piddling on the internet. I have already gained weight, my last workout was markedly harder, and I can feel myself losing strength and getting fat already.

 

At this point, I think it's a lost cause. Why should I bother what I put in my body, or what it can do. It's all just temporary anyway. And the slightest disturbance in my situation renders my power over my diet and body null and void. What's the point? I mean, what's the freaking point? It was a nice dream. But that's all it was.

 

 

Also, I wish this bad-luck year would do me a damn favor and put my father in a coma. Or a car crash. Or a heart attack. I'll take Alzheimer's. Dementia. Anything at this point. It would make my life so much easier, so much safer. I'd like to go 3 months where that miserable fat prick didn't flip out and fly into a screaming childish tantrum and rage over something so petty, so small as spilled water or a dropped milk cap. And it would make it easier for me to not have him at my wedding. One thing's for sure -- I was starting to think, hey, maybe I can actually have him walk me down the aisle. Then last night....

 

No. I don't want the sonofabitch in my life. I don't want him ruining my life the way he ruined my mother's. If he would just go away forever, everything would be easier.

 

My fiance says I have to forgive him. That I must put my faith in God and love him anyway. I've prayed about it. This isn't even the tenth time I've prayed about.

 

Nothing changes.

[Elastigirl]

Hugs back, sounds like a rough day. On your dad yes, you do need to let go of bitterness and not hold on to that, because that only harms you. But, you don't have to say that his behavior is ok. Since you are still living with your parents, you have to be around him some, but when he goes into a rage, it is fine to leave the room. And later when you move out, you an set clear boundaries and let him know you won't have a relationship with him unless he stops the rages. Loving him doesn't me you have to put up with his rages. You can pray for your dad, and trust God to work a change in him, and still have boundaries around the way he treats you.

 

On eating healthy, hey you  are doing so much better than I was at your age. I think you are WAY too hard on yourself.  And you may have a bit of body dsyomorphia, cause really you are skinny. Saying that, I also hear you saying your frustrated because you aren't meeting your goals. Maybe it is time to reevaluate them and see what you can change to make them work for you.  Give yourself a bit more room to have days off, where that doesn't mean you are a failure. Experiment a bit and see what  plan works for you. Right now, I am tracking my food, something I thought I would never do. But, I like how then I can eat some non- Paleo food as long as it fits in my calories, and not feel guilty. Not saying that will work for you, just some times you have to try new things to see what works. And be nice to yourself. You are pretty, funny, creative, smart and have a great fiancee.

 

I just listened to a podcast with Gretchen Rubins and it was eye opening. She talks about our habit personality, and how we can use that to work for us, instead of against us. I plan on listening to more of her stuff. The podcast was http://balancedbites.com/2015/11/podcast-episode-217-gretchen-rubin-happy-healthy-habits/

[Razzy]

Second day reporting in doing literally nothing but sitting on my ass. No wonder I'm getting fat and weak. I can't even do a workout more than once a goddamn week!

 

You know, I should have seen this coming. All attempts to better my life are, well, attempts. I should never have put so much into this.

[Razzy]

Hugs back, sounds like a rough day. On your dad yes, you do need to let go of bitterness and not hold on to that, because that only harms you. But, you don't have to say that his behavior is ok. Since you are still living with your parents, you have to be around him some, but when he goes into a rage, it is fine to leave the room. And later when you move out, you an set clear boundaries and let him know you won't have a relationship with him unless he stops the rages. Loving him doesn't me you have to put up with his rages. You can pray for your dad, and trust God to work a change in him, and still have boundaries around the way he treats you.

 

On eating healthy, hey you  are doing so much better than I was at your age. I think you are WAY too hard on yourself.  And you may have a bit of body dsyomorphia, cause really you are skinny. Saying that, I also hear you saying your frustrated because you aren't meeting your goals. Maybe it is time to reevaluate them and see what you can change to make them work for you.  Give yourself a bit more room to have days off, where that doesn't mean you are a failure. Experiment a bit and see what  plan works for you. Right now, I am tracking my food, something I thought I would never do. But, I like how then I can eat some non- Paleo food as long as it fits in my calories, and not feel guilty. Not saying that will work for you, just some times you have to try new things to see what works. And be nice to yourself. You are pretty, funny, creative, smart and have a great fiancee.

 

I just listened to a podcast with Gretchen Rubins and it was eye opening. She talks about our habit personality, and how we can use that to work for us, instead of against us. I plan on listening to more of her stuff. The podcast was http://balancedbites.com/2015/11/podcast-episode-217-gretchen-rubin-happy-healthy-habits/

 

It's difficult to have any kind of boundary when I "Owe him everything, I wouldn't be anything if not for him, he does everything for me, I'm and ungrateful little cunt," and so on and so on. I'm tired of it. I'm so tired of it. This kind of behavior is nothing new. It's been going on so long, I'm past any hope for the better. The only way -- the only way -- I will ever get out from under his overweening, petty, selfish tin god syndrome is when I get married and move to another state. That's literally the only option I have.

 

If I don't push myself, no one else will, and that's a fact. I am pretty much where you are at right now, at least most of the time. Track my food, still have a few things I can eat that aren't Paleo, but usually clean.

 

That was three weeks ago.

 

Now, I can't even get in more than a workout a week. That's just utter failure, right there. I'm actually going to have to go back to older workouts because I know I've lost so much ground, there's no POINT in keeping up the current one. That is, IF I get back into it. I'm not so sure there's a point to it now.

 

I do have a great fiance.

 

Thank you for the podcast! I will listen to it right away. Not like I've got much else to do. Just sit and piddle around online. I can't even do some rudimentary workouts because my friend's place (where I'm crashing) is an apartment on the second floor, and the lady below is so hyper-sensitive to sound, she actually bitched about my friend peeing too loud. Literally.

[Barfly]

Oh, you kids and your loud peeing drive me crazy! O.o

Take. A. Break. You've got way too much on your plate not to. Don't worry about not working out. I know it's the last thing I want to do when I'm feeling stressed.

The muscle fibers are still there, you'll gain back all of your old strength quickly, and you'll go back to your workouts refreshed and energized.

Just fuck off for a while without feeling guilty.

I decree it