Spazzing With Razzy

[Muscle Professor]

Release the kracken! One of the most versatile phrases ever. I challenge you to find an awkward way of using it. humor inspires the soul and the soul crushes your workouts. 

[Razzy]

Release the kracken! One of the most versatile phrases ever. I challenge you to find an awkward way of using it. humor inspires the soul and the soul crushes your workouts. 

 

 

Giving a pregnant woman a maternity shirt that says, "In 9 months, I will release the kraken!"

 

That kind of body-horror shit just ain't cool. (This happened to my friend's sister. She is a very sensitive and worry-prone person. She thought for sure that the baby would end up with tentacles.)

 

I will think of more of these! This is a very good challege!

 

 

Alright folks, another day, another workout:

 

• 60 Razzy Squats
• 60 weighted lunges (20lbs)
• 30 pushups
• 52 hip-raise: legs (with hips raised, lifting and lowering a leg like an old-fashioned water pump)
• 42 hip-raise: hips (with one leg up, lower and lifting the hips from the same position as above)
• 17 inverted rows
• 60 bend-over leg raise
• 42 mountain-climbers (this will be my standard number from now on, 14 per circuit)

 

UGH. WOW, that kicked my ass. Literally.

 

So, from the top.

 

If ever you needed proof that a weak core is my enemy, look no further than that hip-raise stuff. Holy shit, son. Those are hard to do! I can do the leg pumps fairly well (that's it, I'm calling them leg pumps from now on, thank you weird brain for turning out that water-pump analogy) but raising and lowering the hips are another thing entirely. Oddly, I am physically incapable of keeping my leg straight up in the air while doing these. When I do, I start to bend in the middle, which is exactly what you're not supposed to... well, do. In fact, I can feel my hips sagging pretty badly during the whole exercise and I'm 110% certain that my form is crap. Maybe I'll start doing the hip dips (oh hey, that's a much better name, isn't it?) with one leg out straight instead of straight up. I wish I had a mirror or someone there to tell me if I'm doing it right. I wonder if those gym-trial-yo-talk-to-this-trainer-for-a-day-and-give-us-money things could be exploited to get some form correction. Hmmm. *plots*

 

But I can tell you this: My butt does ache right now. I expect to have some pretty good DOMS tomorrow. Hopefully I can get my form straightened out. So far, I can't do more than 7 of each movement with the hip-raise before my form starts really getting craptacular.

 

The inverted rows SUCK. I can do 5 at one go, max. God I'm noodly-armed. If Cthulhu and the Sphaghetti Monster ever had a one-night stand, my arms would probably be the result.

 

Not tentacular or sucker-and-sauce covered or anything. Just thin and limp.

 

Okay, I'll be honest with you right now: I have no idea where that analogy came from. Apologies.

 

Anyway, I managed to jury-rig something for inverted rows using 2 saw horses and a broom stick. It should be noted that I had to change broom sticks. The first one was a cheapy aluminum one and it bent. o_0 I bent it back. Hopefully, no one will notice. At the last circuit, though, my left shoulder was making a really odd popping sensation. It didn't hurt, it just felt weird.

 

The bent over leg raise though, I took that one like a BOSS! In fact, more hardcore than the chick in the video -- I brought my foot all the way back to the starting point instead of just tapping the floor with my toe. BOOYA!

 

Overall, this workout was pretty exhausting. I was covered in sweat by the time I was through. In fact, I had to take my glasses off - they were getting all steamy!

 

Also, I'm not missing those jumping jacks. Nope. Not one bit. (please don't say I should put them back in, they kill me.)

 

Okay, now I'm off to detox in the shower. Can't let any of this sweaty goodness get on the couch, it'll burn a hole right through.

 

Anyway, if anyone has ideas for how to make sure I keep my form correct with the hip raises, that'd be great!

[Razzy]

Consumption Log 26.78.6

 

Because of my late night last night, I got up just as late. Lunch was homemade soup with chicken, hamburger, lots of veggies and chili powder.

 

Had 3 good slices of colby jack cheese. Because yum.

 

I had my snack of crasins and cashews, 1/4 cup each.

 

Dinner was italian sausage and some cooked up zucchini. I'll probably supplement this with another cup of butternut squash soup.

[Barfly]

Great workout! How does it feel to you, balanced between upper and lower body? Are you getting enough protein?

Also, Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn! Blasphemer...

[AMURA]

Look at you! BENDING METAL! What a merciful power goddess you are for letting that pitiful broom reclaim its original shape. All the peasants that live in the garage must fear your name. 

[Razzy]

Great workout! How does it feel to you, balanced between upper and lower body? Are you getting enough protein?

Also, Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn! Blasphemer...

 

Hahahahahahaha! Oh dear lord, you get 1000 awesome points for that! You have gained 2 Lovecraftian levels just now. Use them to make the INSIGNIFICANT MORTALS COWER BEFORE YOUR GLORY!

 

It does feel pretty balanced now. It's frustrating, in a way, because I want my body to get better at all this faster, but it is what it is, ya know? And I've got some solid core work in there too, which makes me happy. DOMS today isn't as bad as I thought, by my back and shoulders are feeling it the most.

 

Good question on the protein. If you mean, "Do I eat a chunk of meat every day?" Then.... no. Usually the meat is mixed in a sauce or as a base for soup. So I'm pretty sure that the protein quotient is low. But I am eating eggs!

 

Look at you! BENDING METAL! What a merciful power goddess you are for letting that pitiful broom reclaim its original shape. All the peasants that live in the garage must fear your name. 

 

LMAO!

 

Oh man, this totally made my day. ME GUSTA.

 

Yes, the fear me mightily! Behold! Cross me and I shall bend all the broomsticks, and thy floors shall be messy and untidy! Woe, woe to you who dare incur my wrath!

[Muscle Professor]

I believe it was the "libro caseum" that said behold the power of cheese!

Im about to go kill it in the gym with some demon hunter on the iPod, and I just thought I would stop by your log to stalker you like the creepy friends we are OH! I want to see a picture of that T-shirt.

[Barfly]

I believe it was the "libro caseum" that said behold the power of cheese!

Im about to go kill it in the gym with some demon hunter on the iPod, and I just thought I would stop by your log to stalker you like the creepy friends we are OH! I want to see a picture of that T-shirt.

Cheese book?

[Barfly]

You won't build muscle without enough protein. And, in any case, it's a slow (but not so slow as to not be observable) process.

 

I wildly estimate that you need 85-95 grams of pro per day (I took some liberties with body fat calcs) in case you want to nerd out on food tracking.

 

I'm gonna wear my Cthulu t-shirt to school tomorrow.

[Muscle Professor]

Cheese book?

I felt like being a goof ball with the cheese book lol.

[Barfly]

Random

[Razzy]

I believe it was the "libro caseum" that said behold the power of cheese!

Im about to go kill it in the gym with some demon hunter on the iPod, and I just thought I would stop by your log to stalker you like the creepy friends we are OH! I want to see a picture of that T-shirt.

 

Rock on, man. All stalkering is appreciated and returned in full!

 

T-shirt? :| I no comprehende.

 

You won't build muscle without enough protein. And, in any case, it's a slow (but not so slow as to not be observable) process.

 

I wildly estimate that you need 85-95 grams of pro per day (I took some liberties with body fat calcs) in case you want to nerd out on food tracking.

 

I'm gonna wear my Cthulu t-shirt to school tomorrow.

 

Aye, true point at that. Does higher protein intake also decrease the 'turn-around' time between recovery?  I've always been meaning to ASK this for the longest time and I keep forgetting! All the research I've been doing on protein powder and whatnot has been fairly contradictory. Don't take it if you're trying to lose fat. Take it only to bulk. Don't bother if you're not lifting weights. Don't bother if you're doing bodyweight exercise -- really, it's all very unhelpful. And, in my opinion, was probably written by a bunch of muscleheads in the 1970s. Because it doesn't tell anyone anything useful.

 

8D Estimates! Hooray! Thank you! Welp, the math teacher's estimates are probably quite accurate, if you don't mind my saying so!

 

 

Let the nerding begin!

 

Also, you have a Cthulhu t-shirt? I DEMAND PICTURES! Of the shirt at the very least, anyway. LOL man, where'd you get it? I have to get one. Oh, and have you ever played Call of Cthulhu? Very fun game. The party's brawler almost got single-handedly killed by an insane hobo wielding a broken chair leg.

 

xD I gotta admit, you two guys make fitness a lot of fun!

[Muscle Professor]

The kraken shirt.

[Razzy]

The kraken shirt.

 

Ah yes! You know, it was bought at some novelty store. I'll have to hunt the interwebs to find it!

[Razzy]

 

More or less. I can't find the exact one. I think the company went out of business. :\

[Razzy]

Consumption Log 22.22.2

 

Homemade jambalaya soup for breakfast! Plus a yogurt. (Oikos)

Overall, a half cup of cashews.

Dinner was frozen pizza. >.< I know, not my idea, my mom's. I only had 2 slices, because I was starved.

A banana at the end of the day.

 

*sigh*

 

I'll probably add some warm milk and more BS soup to this. I doubled the recipe when I made it. Trust me. Just follow the recipe I linked. It makes PLENTY.

 

Oh, and I did a weigh-in this morning. I'm currently hovering at above 122lbs. I believe most of this new weight can be found in my thighs. And maybe the arms. You know, like, a little bit. A gram, or so.

 

Stupid noodly arms! Well, at least I could kick the living crap out of someone if I really had to!

[Barfly]

 

More or less. I can't find the exact one. I think the company went out of business. :\

As it should have.

Right here:

http://www.6dollarshirts.com/product.php?productid=11516#detailed

And, no, Cthulu is no game

I don't think it speeds recovery, but getting strong and building muscle involves tearing and rebuilding the muscle fibers. Rebuilding requires protein, so, yeah, maybe it does help you recover faster. I mean, no protein and you won't recover at all.

If you're trying to lose fat you need to lower your caloric intake. Eating more protein will keep you from losing muscle at the same time.

[Razzy]

As it should have.

Right here:

http://www.6dollarshirts.com/product.php?productid=11516#detailed

And, no, Cthulu is no game

I don't think it speeds recovery, but getting strong and building muscle involves tearing and rebuilding the muscle fibers. Rebuilding requires protein, so, yeah, maybe it does help you recover faster. I mean, no protein and you won't recover at all.

If you're trying to lose fat you need to lower your caloric intake. Eating more protein will keep you from losing muscle at the same time.

 

Oooooh, I love that shirt. Very nice, and a great quote too. It's as twisty as tentacles and only Lovecraft could really get that kind of bizarre bent to words.

 

Cthulu is probably related to my aunt. Just saying. They're both evil and nasty and never forget.

 

Hmm, I should probably look into getting a protein sup then. My mother effectively rules the kitchen and is highly offended by my diet. Today, she bought tortilla chips because we planned on making homemade salsa with all the tiny tomatoes we've got from the 4 tomato plants in the backyard. I mentioned making sweet potato chips and she got that flat, lizard-like look in her eyes and muttered, "Yeah, why not. Probably shouldn't have even fucking bothered buying those damn things...." Then she slammed around some dishes in the sink until something broke. Like it's a personal offense to her cooking. Well, gee. I'm not the one that rolled out frozen pizza for dinner, am I? God, it pisses me off sometimes.

 

Apologies for the soap-box moment. The only paleo recipes I could make were when she was visiting my grandmother.

 

Anyway, I'm kinda concerned about dropping caloric intake. As is, I'm just walking the border of being constantly hungry all the time, 24/7. I will home in on my cheat days, reduce my indulgences to 2 items during Sunday. Birthdays and random drinking nights notwithstanding, I'm fairly good about my diet. Maybe it isn't enough though... I'll try cutting off the cashews and limit myself to one piece of fruit per day.

[Razzy]

So, uh. Making an addition to the consumption log.

 

Consumption Log 22.22.2 (BONUS!)

 

In addition to above, add:

 

3 Pepperioncini

 

A handful of dill pickle chips.

 

1 quarter of a vidalia sweet onion. (with mustard)

 

 

 

This is my ultimate midnight snack. Stacy says she eats green peppers like others eat apples. Well for me, it's sweet onions. Man, I could eat these babies all day! And, now that we have an abundance of them, I may just start doing that. The Boyfriend may not like it much, but... well. My stomach loves 'em. And besides, that's what toothpaste is for!

[Barfly]

Aww, sorry you're not getting much family support... :-/

 

You're pretty slim already; if you try to lose fat you're going to be pretty scrawny. I'd go for strength first so you have some muscle to show underneath.

 

Protein!

[Razzy]

Aww, sorry you're not getting much family support... :-/

 

You're pretty slim already; if you try to lose fat you're going to be pretty scrawny. I'd go for strength first so you have some muscle to show underneath.

 

Protein!

 

Thank you Barfly. At least I have support here, and it means a lot. Strength first; I shall focus on this, thank you.

 

As for protein....

 

 

Let me get something out of the way. This is not going to be a funny post. It isn't going to be witty, or self-deprecating, or random or entertaining. It's going to be vicious and pissed off, so if you don't want to upset your day, don't read on.

 

My mommy dearest asked if there was anything I needed from the store. With the advice of this thread fresh in my mind, I asked her if there was any protein powder to be had because be honest -- even if 85-95g is highballing it, that's still a lot of fucking protein. And hey, I just wanted to try it. See if there is any change in my recovery time. See if I progress faster or not. Just experimenting because you know, that's what you fucking have to do.

 

So I ask her if they'd have this shit at the store. And she leans back and looks at me with her eyes so wide you can see the white all the way around the iris. I know this look. It's the look that means she's fucking pissed and you're going to get it. And she asks, very curtly, "Why. What do you need it for?"

 

And I tell her, well gee, you generally make a drink out of it to help-- and before I get any further, she says, "You know what, everyone in this goddamn house gets plenty of protein!"

 

And by now I know that this is a lost cause. I'm already getting a headache and I start shuffling back to my room. "No, not really," I say.

 

"Not really? What do you mean not really? Where did you hear-- who told you you're not getting protein!"

 

"Nevermind, nevermind." I just want to get back to my room. "Just forget it."

 

Once in my room, I go back to bed. It's 12:13 and I already just want to sleep the day away. This is pretty common for me, especially when school starts up. I just hide my head under the pillow and try by best to go back to sleep.

 

After about 15 minutes, my mother steps into my doorway. "You know what, you don't need any more fucking protein! We always have meat or cheese at every meal. You're not some bodybuilder lifting weights for two hours every day trying to build a massive amount of muscle! And you want to spend $50 bucks a month like your father and then sit on your ass and think you need it? No. Buy it your damn self."

 

 

And that is why, folks, I'm not going to be getting any kind of nutritional changes in my life. Buy it myself? Fine. Whatever. But every time I turn on a motherfucking blender, you know I'll get shit from her. I'll get the nasty, biting remarks, the glares, the sighs at how inconvenient the noise is, the bitchy mutters under her breath every time she shoves the bag or jar of the stuff around. Quite frankly, I don't need that kind of shit. So fine. She wins, yet again. So I can say goodbye to making any kind of permanent, significant health and habit change.

 

I'm so goddamn pissed right now, I can't even get words out right. I can barely breathe. I'm a step away from violence right now.

[Barfly]

Bullshit! Don't quit! You're going to win this!

 

Got a Walmart nearby? Protein powder, 30g/scoop, $17. You don't need a blender, it dissolves quickly. Put it in something with a lid and shake it up. Milk, juice, tea all work. I use almond milk, coffee and chocolate pro, or tea, oj and vanilla pro.

 

You'll only need to supplement with 1 or 2 a day. (start a food log, nutritional info for everything is online)

[Muscle Professor]

Bullshit! Don't quit! You're going to win this!

 

Got a Walmart nearby? Protein powder, 30g/scoop, $17. You don't need a blender, it dissolves quickly. Put it in something with a lid and shake it up. Milk, juice, tea all work. I use almond milk, coffee and chocolate pro, or tea, oj and vanilla pro.

 

You'll only need to supplement with 1 or 2 a day. (start a food log, nutritional info for everything is online)

Don't Quit! listen to Barfly because he is 100% right.

[Razzy]

Another day, another workout:

 

• 60 R.Squats.
• 60 weighted lunges (20lbs)
• 30 pushups
• 30 hip raises
• 15 inverted rows (10 of them bent-leg)
• 42 leg pumps
• 42 mountain climbers
• 90 bent over leg raises
• 18 leg and hip raises

3 circuits.

 

So I added another core workout here. The last one, leg and hip raises, I don't know the actual name of it, every source seems to disagree. 'Reverse crunch' 'J-curl' etc etc. What it is, you lay flat on your back and lift your legs, keeping them straight, off the ground to point at the ceiling while also lifting your hips. Your body should form a J, with the legs being the stem, and your torso forming the 'curl'. These were very difficult for me, so that means a good exercise to do.

 

I think I'm going to switch to bent-leg inverted rows. I think I seriously strained a muscle in my left arm doing it the vanilla way and trying to power through the set of 5. Not a great idea.

 

The pushups are getting much more doable though. I still have to will power my way through the last three or so, but they're getting easier every workout.

 

Looking at it all laid out like that, that's a pretty long workout, isn't it? Maybe I should scratch the mountain climbers. The leg/hip raise targets more of the core anyway. I was really sweating by the end of this. I'm still tinkering with the order, trying to find a way that doesn't put too much strain on the same areas, like doing the hip raises and the leg pumps back to back.

 

 

Bullshit! Don't quit! You're going to win this!

 

Got a Walmart nearby? Protein powder, 30g/scoop, $17. You don't need a blender, it dissolves quickly. Put it in something with a lid and shake it up. Milk, juice, tea all work. I use almond milk, coffee and chocolate pro, or tea, oj and vanilla pro.

 

You'll only need to supplement with 1 or 2 a day. (start a food log, nutritional info for everything is online)

 

What brand of powder is that? I'll sneak off with the boyfriend and get this myself! If it dissolves as well as you say, then I can sneak away and drink this in my room. Thank you, Barfly! If you and Lanithroe weren't here, I'd be totally hosed.

 

Food log sounds good. You know what? I'm tired of my crappy phone. I may just get an upgrade so I can do myfitnesspal and whatnot easily and wherever I go.

[Muscle Professor]

You got this! Life hits us some times with very unneeded crap, but taking those hits and moving on only makes you stronger and harder to take down.