cn3wton, Battle log of Ages

[cn3wton]

The Plan

 

 

So I am thinking about implementing a simplified yet diverse plan which relies on organization to make my food choices easier to manage, and yet allow me a bit of choice. I'm pulling on past/other me for some inspiration too.

 

 

 

I view this very much as a battle between 2 different versions of "me". So when I lost weight before, I made better choices, and had lean cuisine and smart ones meals to fill in at least one meal a day. Along with protein shakes and healthy snacks.

 

My father recently started nutrisystem. Now I have my own thoughts about systems like that and MediFast which I don't really want to get into. But one thing I DO like about those systems is the organization. Everything is separated out, physically, by category. Snacks, Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner. You can grab something from the right area and eat it with little to no thought because it should fit within the plan. There is a little guidebook that provides appropriate substitutions for eating out and things like that.

 

I like that level of organization. Removing thought from the decision is huge. At least for me. So what I think I am going to do is follow a similar process. I am going to prepare physically separate locations for the different meal categories. I am going to develop a system to keep them stocked so I don't run out. And implement them at home and at work. So how do I get started?

 

 

Home will be the easiest. I have a metal rack for non perishable items that I can use to seperate those. Then I am going to clean out the fridge and designate each rack in there to something else. Same with the freezer. Work I am not comfortable leaving things in the fridge, so the meal options will have to be non perishable. Its important to note that I will still be cooking my own meal for dinners off and on as well.

 

Snack

Nuts/Seeds

Fruit

Atkins snacks

Protein Drinks

 

Lunch/Dinner

Soups

Smart Ones and Lean Cuisine Meals

Noodle bowls

 

 

 

So the noodle bowls are about 400-500 calories, with about 60 carbs and 8 gams of protein. Its not the BEST option. But I like them and they are cheap. I think they are a good starting point for moving in the correct direction. I will also be coming up with a list of common places I go to eat and creating a guide for choices I can have there to help keep choice out of it. Going to chipolte? Ok you get a burrito bowl with x, y, and z. Thats your meal.

 

 

I think all of these things will help keep me on track and form the beginning of a plan. The purpose here is to prepare me for LIFE not a DIET. I will slowly replace the options with better and better food. 

 

 

[cn3wton]

Yesterday I did my workout at work.

 

It was the pretty standard set, but I will post it again.

10x jab jab jab teep

8x jab jab jab switch knee

10 raised push ups

5 squats

 

I continue to keep focus on the form of the teep and the knee, but my punches are getting faster. Obviously still being careful not to overextend them. I did 1 full set as fast as I could before being interrupted with work (at work can you imagine!) So I dealt with the issue on the floor then purposefully did the stairs to my office a few times. I was annoyed that I could only complete 1 set of the now growing routine. But I also felt energized by it. I felt like it was a real workout and it got me pumped up. So that was a good feeling.

 

I had groceries delivered last night to start implementing the plan. This morning the roads where very bad on my way in. I pulled into Dunkin without thinking and got my usual. Which annoyed me because I literally had a grocery bag full of meal options to have in my office at work. But it's ok. I ended up driving the rest of the way to work since the weather was clearer out this way. 

[TrashcanCarla]

On 2/9/2021 at 6:36 AM, cn3wton said:

I think all of these things will help keep me on track and form the beginning of a plan. The purpose here is to prepare me for LIFE not a DIET. I will slowly replace the options with better and better food.

This is a great start. I applaud your mindset. Whatever you do should be sustainable. You can always make adjustments later.

 

Speaking of convenient bowls, since I unfortunately tune into any ad that features food, I noticed that Subway rolled out a few of their own bowls. I'll try one and get back with a review.

[cn3wton]

2 minutes ago, TrashcanCarla said:

This is a great start. I applaud your mindset. Whatever you do should be sustainable. You can always make adjustments later.

 

Speaking of convenient bowls, since I unfortunately tune into any ad that features food, I noticed that Subway rolled out a few of their own bowls. I'll try one and get back with a review.

 

I am a big fan of subways salads. Sadly they got rid of rotisserie chicken which was my favorite to have in the salad. 

[cn3wton]

Just completely paid off my credit card this morning.

 

Waiting on funds to pay off my personal loan. 

 

Now the only things I will have over my head debt wise will be my Mortgage and my car payment. Thats going to be nice.

 

Yesterday was a great step in the right direction food wise. I ate one of my meals for lunch and mostly stayed within the plan. Preparing myself to kick off the challenge strong!

[deftona]

1 hour ago, cn3wton said:

Just completely paid off my credit card this morning.

 

Waiting on funds to pay off my personal loan.

 

Very awesome, well done! 

[cn3wton]

This weekend went pretty well.

 

Saturday I worked from 9am to 4 for my own business. It went pretty well. I learned how to clean our $10,000 laser machine which was pretty nerve wracking. But eventually it all worked out.

 

Sunday I was excited to do, well, nothing. I slept in, and at about 9am woke up when my mom stopped in to check to see if I had water. Turns out neither my grandmother or I had water. So I texted my dad and grabbed some wings out of the fridge for a quick meal because the last time we did something like this it took hours. I finished the last wing when he stepped in the door. I put the bones in a box and pushed it back on my stove then went down into the basement to fix it. Looks like a faulty pressure switch. We where able to get it running again by hitting it. Yes you read that right. My dad is going to get a replacement today for us to install when I get home. 

 

After that we reviewed my plans for the garage. Its a spacious separate garage but is unheated and uninsulated. And the only way up to the attic (which is also quite spacious) is with a ladder. My plan is to put a stairway up to the second floor, and insulate and heat the whole garage. I want to turn that into my workshop and working space for every maker/creative project I want to do. Having the space is going to be amazing. When my Dad left I went into the apartment and my heart sank. The box from the wings was on the ground with not a wing in sight. So my dog Ryker had eaten every single bone. Hes a big dog coming in at about 80lbs. I started googling, had my mom bring me bread (I don't have any) and fed that too him. Most times dogs are fine and he's eaten them before but I cursed myself for being so careless. Thankfully he acted fine all day so we are keeping a close eye on him but he "should" be fine. When he eats bones he doesn't swallow large sections, and the vet said a dog his size is likely fine as the stomach acids with likely erode any sharp dangerous bits. But I still worry about him.

 

I looked around after cleaning up the mess at my apartment which was an absolute wreck. My desk was piled high with things, totes sat strewn about after I fixed my bed frame over a month ago. I needed to work on that. So starting just after 1pm I began cleaning. I put on "The League" and intentionally began working. I Moved things around to clear up space and put totes back under the bed. Swept. Then cleaned my desk and sat at my desk. I received 2 model action stands for some of my recent builds and allowed myself the time to build 1 as a reward. It was nice having my desk cleared away for this. In the end the main room of the apartment is much cleaner. I organized my food rack which was filled with junk. There's still a lot to do but I was very pleased with myself. Instead of just sitting on the couch watching the TV I got a ton done and still was able to watch the show. I went to bed feeling accomplished, something that hasn't been common in awhile.

 

I think thats pretty much it for this weekend update!

[TrashcanCarla]

Wow! That's a busy weekend you had.

I don't blame you for worrying about your dog. I worry more about my furry friends than I do about myself. Maybe it's because they can't talk and tell us directly how they're doing? I don't know.

Too bad about not getting to eat your wings!

[cn3wton]

On 2/15/2021 at 12:38 PM, TrashcanCarla said:

Wow! That's a busy weekend you had.

I don't blame you for worrying about your dog. I worry more about my furry friends than I do about myself. Maybe it's because they can't talk and tell us directly how they're doing? I don't know.

Too bad about not getting to eat your wings!

Thank you. Hes been acting fine and so I think hes in the clear but I always worry about him!

[cn3wton]

So yesterday was a pretty stressful day.

 

On Monday I spoke with my boss about the potential need for me to work from home (yesterday) because of a winter weather warning that was supposed to dump a ton of snow and ice on us. He said that's understandable, but he mentioned that people had been talking about "my hours". I won't go into the full discussion here but it put me in a pretty sour mood. The drive to work is 1.5 hours one way. So part of the deal when I agreed to work here was having more flexible hours. 

 

My direct supervisor/boss is 100% ok with everything I do. And if you've every worked in manufacturing you know how the culture is. People talk. But it did affect my mood a bit. I waited a few hours after our initial discussion to go back in and talk with him. And as always we had a good discussion that settled my mind.

 

That night the snow started coming down hard, I had brought home a ton of work for myself, and fully expected not to go in the next day.

 

When I woke up it was not nearly as bad as I expected. Light snow fall, of course the real danger was the rain/ice that had fallen and everything was frozen over and extremely slippery. I pulled up the weather radar and the weather winter advisory in my county had been altered, but two of the other cities/counties I go through on my drive where still in affect. The radar showed snow/ice storms until mid day. I fought with the decision for about 30 minutes before sending my boss a message at 530 AM that I was staying home.

 

I stressed out about this all day. To make matters worse I got a very passive aggressive email from someone during the day. I was on edge. I could probably have made the drive it would have just taken longer, but I had no way of knowing what the weather was like out that way. Around 3pm the snow started hitting really heavy around my house and I felt a bit better about staying home.

 

So I was determined to get to work early this AM no matter what. The drive took me 45-60 minutes longer than normal. Then on my way in the woman who sent the email stopped me out side and apologized about her email. Saying shes stressed about some things this week. So the rock sitting directly in my chest is a bit lighter. But we will wait to see how the day goes.

[Shello]

2 hours ago, cn3wton said:

On Monday I spoke with my boss about the potential need for me to work from home (yesterday) because of a winter weather warning that was supposed to dump a ton of snow and ice on us. He said that's understandable, but he mentioned that people had been talking about "my hours". I won't go into the full discussion here but it put me in a pretty sour mood. The drive to work is 1.5 hours one way. So part of the deal when I agreed to work here was having more flexible hours. 

 

My direct supervisor/boss is 100% ok with everything I do. And if you've every worked in manufacturing you know how the culture is. People talk. But it did affect my mood a bit. I waited a few hours after our initial discussion to go back in and talk with him. And as always we had a good discussion that settled my mind.

I hear this.  I have similar issues.  I have an agreement with my boss to alter my schedule to leave early a couple days of week to teach classes.  She's ok with this and she has no worries about me making up my time.  But other people see me leave early and don't see when I stay late or when I get extra stuff done from home.  My boss doesn't like to hear complaints so she'll tell me to make sure people can see it.  This is dumb.  I'm none of their business, only my boss matters.  But it's an optics thing.  

 

I'm glad your other communication issue got resolved as well but it sucks when it haunts you until it's resolved.  It can take the wind out of your day.

[cn3wton]

1 hour ago, Shello said:

I hear this.  I have similar issues.  I have an agreement with my boss to alter my schedule to leave early a couple days of week to teach classes.  She's ok with this and she has no worries about me making up my time.  But other people see me leave early and don't see when I stay late or when I get extra stuff done from home.  My boss doesn't like to hear complaints so she'll tell me to make sure people can see it.  This is dumb.  I'm none of their business, only my boss matters.  But it's an optics thing.  

 

I'm glad your other communication issue got resolved as well but it sucks when it haunts you until it's resolved.  It can take the wind out of your day.

 

Thanks, Today is a bit better but has an airness of awkwardness to it.

[cn3wton]

Worked out and got back to work.

 

The whole day was a bit awkward between my boss and I. I finished up one project then went to move onto the next one. Apparently the CNC guy stepped up and did it yesterday. Which is great because hes notorious for things taking forever, but it made things even more awkward. 

 

My boss spoke with me a bit to destress himself. Hes got a big pricing quote out that hes waiting on approval for. He admitted to me that he's stressed with tons of things coming at him. Our main money making machine at the plant has been nothing but problematic this past month. IF the part can break its broken at this point.

 

He is leaving for a family vacation now with the goal to be back Friday. I wanted to talk to him a bit to make myself a bit more settled, but I could also tell he wanted to get out ASAP. So we had a super short convo and he was off. All in all I feel a little uneasy about the awkwardness. But it is most likely going to turn into nothing. It could very much be nothing, but I am generally pretty good at reading the situation.

 

I think at the end of the day my boss had to justify my actions (which he told me) and despite the fact that they are something that was agreed to at the time of my hiring it has put him in an awkward spot. I don't think its anything earth shattering but the mind does wander.

 

I've made it my goal to keep pushing along. 

 

I have a bunch of craft/creative/maker related stuff coming in today. Mainly my new airbrushing equipment. I am going to go home and enjoy that and allow it to distract me from everything going on.

[cn3wton]

Today not only did I do my traditional exercises but a huge pile of wood slipped of a roller in the rough mill. So I helped pick that back up. So I got some pretty good work in today.

 

I have been going in extra early the last few days, mainly to prove a point but also to try to transition to earlier hours so I get home at a semi decent time. 

 

Food is OK today but not great. I did order a donut this morning at dunkin without thinking. But for lunch I am on track and I will eat well tonight so I am not overly concerned about it.

[Elastigirl]

Woot for being real life strong man stuff!

[cn3wton]

22 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

Woot for being real life strong man stuff!

Heck yea!

[cn3wton]

I see a light at the end of the tunnel of this stress.

 

This week is almost over at work. Yesterday the stress at work reached a fever pitch. My boss was out of the office and things where going bad all over the plant. I did my best to mitigate and keep him out of it. He was suppossed to be taking a break with his family and skiing. I did what I could but at the end of the day I couldn't. I spoke with him this morning and he vented a bit about it all. Its nothing concerning me so it made me feel better about that. But I do know that if my boss reaches his breaking point I probably wont last long here afterwards. He's a big advocate for change and growth just like I am. And it seems most the plant is against us. The joys of manufacturing.

 

The house sale only has a few final loose ends to wrap up. I cannot wait to have that off my shoulders.

 

Business stuff is going well. Mainly just waiting on things to come in so the real production can begin at the moment.

 

I have not climbed onto a scale recently. But I know I am progressing in the right direction with the decisions I am making. My daily workouts are beginning to leave me a bit sore which is good.

 

[cn3wton]

I started the last update with "I see a light at the end of the tunnel of this stress."

 

I can confidently say that was a false statement. I don't want to focus on negative things here, but I also want to vent this somewhere, so what better place than here.

 

Last week at work was horrible. I've detailed all of that. What was nice is myself and 2 friends had organized a small game night while their wives where out of town. I was really looking forward to it. I had a fun time, but by 10pm I was falling asleep in the chair thanks to my rough work schedule so I dipped out early. The three of us are very very competitive. I was happy that the stress from my life didnt make me too irritable and we had a generally fun time. When emotions ran high one of us always stepped in to calm it down and we had a generally good time.

 

Saturday I got a late start to the day because my friend (also my business partner) had stayed up later than I so we postponed our weekend work day. I went outside and did my "Outdoor Work-out" which was basically walking through the knee deep snow doing minimal movements while the dog had the time of his life. I was a bit dissapointed by this, but I needed to get it done for the challenge. I was really looking forward to this part of the challenge. So I am going to make a point of making this weeks more enjoyable.

 

Went to work, and my friend was in rough shape from the night previous. I worked my butt off while he basically just tried to sit upright working on the printer issues. I didn't say anything though. He busted his butt this week (and the day after to make up for his poor performance on saturday). We have to keep reminding ourselves that this is currently our second job and we need to take time off and enjoy life or it will break us. I was polishing our handmade resin master dice and after hours of work they still arent done. But it is what it is.

 

I was in a bit better mood, and went to dinner with my family. Our saturday tradition. We had a great night. Then on the way back my mom decided to call her mother back because she called a few times at dinner. This is when everything hit the fan. This story could be pages upon pages. But I'll try to sum it up.

 

My grandmother could not get out of her chair and her legs where swollen. My Aunt and Uncle went down to help her to bed. In the car we discussed sending her to the hospital in case something was wrong. Called my Aunt and Uncle back and they had thought the same thing and already done it (My Uncle is friends with the guy who owns the Ambulance service. So they came with no flashing lights or sirens). We got to my grandmas in time to beat the ambulance. Everyone was extremely worried. My mom sat with my grandma and held her hand and talked to her. They had a very good touching moment that I hope will bring some comfort to my mom. Then the ambulance showed up. My grandma thanked her kids for "getting her help". And we stayed and talked a bit about everything. The overall feeling is that she can't stay at home anymore. She needs 24 hour care.

 

It was a crappy way to end the night. The next day my mom gets a call from the hospital for more info. Then they figure out what's causing it all and try to give her medicine and send her home. My Aunt fights with them on the phone for hours because she can't even stand on her own how is she supposed to go home. Then my Aunt goes to visit my grandma and shes mean to her the entire time. Telling her she wants to go home and she doesn't want my Aunt there. She wants My Uncle and his Wife. So everyone is upset and crying and all in all emotional. My mom came to my apartment to watch a movie for a few hours to get her minds off things. 

 

All in all its a horrible weekend. Theres a lot more involving family politics that I don't want to get into here. Regarding the sale of the home to me and all that. I am just hoping I can resolve all the mortgage stuff on my end soon and this thing can progress...

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Family troubles are hard. I'm sorry all that family stuff got tacked onto the end of a rough work week. I'm a hospital chaplain, I talk to people all the time who are going through medical issues with family, PM me if you ever want to vent more specifically.

[Shello]

Sorry to hear about all the stuff going on with your family.  Dealing with medical issues and transitioning someone you love into a different living environment is a touch thing to go through even without extra family drama.  I hope 

[Elastigirl]

Hugs.Sorry  that is really hard. My father in law (92 years old) is having heart issues, and has been in and out of the hospital several times over the last year. It is so hard to see them suffer. 

[cn3wton]

21 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Family troubles are hard. I'm sorry all that family stuff got tacked onto the end of a rough work week. I'm a hospital chaplain, I talk to people all the time who are going through medical issues with family, PM me if you ever want to vent more specifically.

Thank you I will keep it in mind.

 

19 hours ago, Shello said:

Sorry to hear about all the stuff going on with your family.  Dealing with medical issues and transitioning someone you love into a different living environment is a touch thing to go through even without extra family drama.  I hope 

Thanks.

 

18 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

Hugs.Sorry  that is really hard. My father in law (92 years old) is having heart issues, and has been in and out of the hospital several times over the last year. It is so hard to see them suffer. 

It is hard. I'm sad to say this isn't the first time I've had to deal with it. My other grandma was in a very similar situation my entire life growing up. I've kind of gotten used to it/expect it. The hard part is watching what its doing to my family. 

 

I appreciate everyone's kind words.

[cn3wton]

Last night was an incredibly rough night.

 

Yesterday my father called to let me know that Ryker (my dog) had grabbed a glass from the counter and broken it on the couch. Worse yet he thought he ate some. Which meant more stress added onto my day. I asked him to feed him bread and keep an eye on him. I also asked my mom to do the same.

 

He acted just fine when I got home, and I found a few more pieces which I picked up. There was chocolate milk in the glass, so I don't think he sat eating the glass, but maybe was licking the inside of it. I gave him more food and his appetite was good which is a good sign. I took him with me to work on the business. He acted fine.

 

I got home and couldnt sleep. Every time he shifted, took a deep breath, stretched, pretty much anything I was wide awake and hyper alert from worry. This was bad enough, but on top of that I had no less than 6 vivid nightmares centered around everything that is going on in my life right now. Very vivid, depressing, and scary nightmares. I would wake up from these in a sweat and my heart racing. If I got an hours worth of sleep last night I would be lucky. I'm so exhausted my eyes where trying to shut on the drive in this AM.

 

I am hoping that I can get through all of this and go back to posting positive things. I appreciate everyone reaching out with kind words. I need a place to vent right now and it looks like the battle log is it.

 

On the plus side I nailed nutrition and the workout yesterday. While I didn't get my Outdoor Work-Out done yesterday like I wanted to I am still happy with progressing the challenge even just a bit.

[cn3wton]

Update.

 

My grandmother has been denied at the hospital by her insurance. Which means we have to figure out how to pay to get her the care she needs.

 

Had an anxiety attack at work.

 

Can't get through to the lawyer for the finalization of this sale.

[Shello]

Sorry you are going through so much at once.  I hope you find a moment for some peace and to refresh.