cn3wton, Battle log of Ages

[cn3wton]

Thanks for all the birthday wishes everybody! It was a good day. Got some of my favorite foods and had a bunch of people over to just hang out. 

 

Didn't go to the gym but thats ok. I've done good this week.

 

Something I need to get back into is walking the dog in the morning and at night. I stopped doing it on days when he goes to day care, and now when he wakes up in the morning he will happily lay on the bed with me and snooze. And I love that. But I need to do whats best for him, and I these walks are good for both of us.

[cn3wton]

Did some stuff with the dog over the weekend and game night last night.

 

I've decided to stop drinking so much Iced tea and drink more water. Because it seems every weekend I end up getting killer headaches and am just tired all the time. I don't know why this doesn't happen during the week... But gotta work on this. I think dehyrdation is a huge part of it.

 

Game night went ok. I used to DM for this group but ended up getting frustrated with it and we stopped. No one really takes it seriously and talks over me. Well the new DM got a taste of it last night and I could see the frustration. I felt bad, because I know how much work hes putting into it. But I was trying to get people to make their characters and they just ignored me while I tried to help him out. I am hoping next time things go smoother but maybe now hes seen what I have put up with.

 

No gym the next two days, but back wednesday. Nutrition is my next focus.

 

 

[cn3wton]

Great morning. Dog threw up on the bed. Don't think anythings wrong after googling. Just says he may have had an empty stomach and the bile upset him. He was also licking at something and that may have done it. Mom's watching him today and hes acting fine so maybe just a fluke.

 

He goes to the vet tonight for his shots. See how he acts tonight wether or not I take him for a long walk or just play in the yard.

[cn3wton]

9/27

 

Helped out moving a tv mount at the gym last night. Didn't work out though because I had to pick up the dog from day care.

 

Dog's learned how to escape the fenced in area, by leaping through a gap in the wall... so that is a project for the weekend.

 

Gym tonight is questionable as I don't have any shoes, left them at home. But I'm sure I can borrow a pair from the owner or just go shoeless. 

 

Spoke to one of the coaches at the gym, just got his yoga certification and he does the kind of yoga I liked to do. Reached out to him about possibly doing private 1 on 1 stuff once a week to get back to where I once was. I love yoga for the flexibility and strength it offers. Also I got hurt/hurt in general less when doing yoga. So this might be a way to get back into it.

 

9/28

 

Brought donuts for the workers on the floor. Put them out in the factory to help prevent me from eating any. Not much to report honestly fitness wise.

 

However finances I've started making a huge change to try to pay off the debt that accumulated while unemployed. Now I have a plan, and that will influence my food. No more eating out for breakfast lunch and dinner. 

[cn3wton]

Didn't go to the gym last week. Life came up most days, but honestly I could have made it work a few days and I just didn't... But I won't dwell on it too much just gotta move forward.

 

Saturday was a relatively lazy day, driving the dog around spending some time with him. Not much to report.

 

Sunday was a fun day, but nuts. Up early to go to book club, then a 2 hour drive out to visit someone who received Rykers litter mate and the breeder. I was excited to visit this state park and walk around with them. Sharing our common experience with this breed. And it was great. We walked a total of 4 miles, and there was a pumpkin festival going on. 100's of people and a good amount of dogs everywhere and Ryker did great. Didn't bark, just stayed near me and ignored most everyone around him. 2 of the vendors where selling home made dog treats so he and the other dogs where spoiled. Our group garnered quite a bit of attention. As 3 wiemaraners is quite a rare sight.

 

The do not pet collar help to determined some unwanted attention, and everyone when it came to Ryker was considerate and asked if they could pet him. And I always oblige if someone has the courtesy to ask. However some of the other dogs where not afforded that opportunity, and a little bit of snarling happened in one meeting between Rykers brother, Louie, and a golden that was obviously not comfortable in the situation and was extremely tense.

 

Read your dogs folks. If they seem on edge and jumpy in a big festival, leave them home. And especially don't introduce them to strange dogs and people...

 

Ryker did great around the Breeders kids. Licking them but no nipping (thank god!). It makes me so happy to just have him be a part of these kinds of activities without having to be embarrassed about how he acts. Got a little present for myself for my podcast (some local whiskey) and we went separate ways. Knowing that I had a long drive ahead of us I avoided searching for a local restaurant to get a really good meal at and just ate at wendys. Something I really regret because Ryker could have easily slept in his crate while I went in to eat as it was a nice cool day and he slept the 2 hour ride home anyways. Also the food sucked... I think it would have been a nice part of the trip. I plan on doing more of these day trips with the dog in the future.

 

As of today I have switched to budget mode for food. In an attempt to get my life back on track. I need to pinch pennies to get things back so no more eating out every meal every day. Its also a good start to get me back into meal prep. I picked some controversial foods to start off with. But I really need something I can stick with. 

 

Breakfast is a healthier choice cereal with almond milk

Lunch is a pbj with locally made bread and some veggies

Dinner is low carb microwavable chicken breast and steamfresh veggies.

 

Comes out to roughly 50 bucks a week for food. And while obviously not the best food for me to have, its better than 3 slices of pizza a day for lunch. 

 

I have given myself some allowance of 50 bucks for free money each week. This will cover my friday lunch with the other engineer at work and other random expenses.

 

Thats about it for now.

[cn3wton]

So I don't know if anyone else listens to the Joe Rogan podcast but I am an avid listener. And the last two episodes he has posted are pretty interesting. Debates between two professionals (scientists) in regards to nutrition and diets. Paleo vs Vegan, etc.

 

They are pretty interesting and I highly suggest listening to them.

 

But Joe said something that I don't quite know how I feel about. They kept bringing up sustainability and adherence. And it was a pretty shocking statistic. Of all the people that lose weight 95% of them gain it back within the next few years. I of course, am part of that 95%. But Joe said the issue with these diets and a lot of nutritional advice is that they give people an out. Saying things like "Is it sustainable?" and other questions just gives people an out. And that they should just suck it up and do it. That he didn't wan't to hear and talk about people who fail because it drags you down and are not people you want to associate with. That he only wants to talk about outliers and those who are successful as those are the people you want to talk to and learn from. 

 

And I had the realization that I was just called an undesirable by Joe Rogan. And it made me angry, because its true when it comes to that part of my life. He went on to explain that hes telling this 95% what they need to hear. Sure hes gonna piss a lot of people of, but its true. And its got me thinking about quite a bit of stuff.

 

More on this later.

[RES]

I'm going to have to find this podcast...I'm one that adhered 95% for years (Paleo) and still gained weight  

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

4 hours ago, cn3wton said:

But Joe said something that I don't quite know how I feel about. They kept bringing up sustainability and adherence. And it was a pretty shocking statistic. Of all the people that lose weight 95% of them gain it back within the next few years. I of course, am part of that 95%. But Joe said the issue with these diets and a lot of nutritional advice is that they give people an out. Saying things like "Is it sustainable?" and other questions just gives people an out. And that they should just suck it up and do it. That he didn't wan't to hear and talk about people who fail because it drags you down and are not people you want to associate with. That he only wants to talk about outliers and those who are successful as those are the people you want to talk to and learn from. 

So he only wants an audience that comprises 5% of the population? The reason 95% of people gain weight back is not because of lack of character as Joe seems to imply. If only 5% of people keep weight off with diets, it's not the people that are the problem. That's not to say we are not responsible for our health, but that "dieting" is not the way to get to a healthy weight. Furthermore, study after study has shown that the shaming approach Joe employed simply does not work. 

[cn3wton]

1 hour ago, RES said:

I'm going to have to find this podcast...I'm one that adhered 95% for years (Paleo) and still gained weight  

 

They have some really interesting thoughts on that kind of stuff. They literally said that sometimes low carb diets don't trigger weight loss in some people... 

 

1 hour ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

So he only wants an audience that comprises 5% of the population? The reason 95% of people gain weight back is not because of lack of character as Joe seems to imply. If only 5% of people keep weight off with diets, it's not the people that are the problem. That's not to say we are not responsible for our health, but that "dieting" is not the way to get to a healthy weight. Furthermore, study after study has shown that the shaming approach Joe employed simply does not work. 

 

I think it was a bit harsh, but I think out of context it sounds a bit worse than it was. I think he agreed with what you where saying, but had an issue more with the idea of working this stuff in from the get go. Saying things like sustainability of a way of eating. Everyone on the podcast agreed that diets dont work. It changing how you eat for life. And Joe said that he hates lumping words like sustainability in with something because he feels as soon as people "fall of the wagon" they are gone for good because they have the excuse of saying "X diet just isn't sustainable."

 

Though he does say some things that I don't agree with. He did straight out say something along the lines that the issue with it is discipline when it comes to food and people need to realize its going to be hard and keep doing it and not be weak.

 

I strongly think theres a good middle ground when it comes to this whole thing. I think a lot more people need a bit of tough love, but not shaming. I think I will relisten to the podcast again and strongly encourage everyone to listen and let me know what there take from what he said was.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

I'm glad to know that in context it wasn't as harsh as it seems. 

[Elastigirl]

Thanks for reminding me about the podcast, I wanted to listen to that. I see somewhat what he's saying, but I don't think it is all about discipline. I think way too many diet plans say this is going to be easy, whether it's Paleo, low- carb ,vegan, whatever. But it isn't . We are surrounded by food . And a lot of that food is designed to tell your brain that you need MORE of it. And we've grown up using food as rewards, or comfort. To lose and maintain weight loss requires you to really change your whole relationship with food. And I don't think it's a pas / fail. I think the point he was making about sustainability was right. If  we have the mindset of the rule is to never eat sugar, I ate sugar, therefore I fail and I may as well eat the whole pie,  then yeah that sets us up for failure. But that could be said for discipline too. If we have the mindset of " I will have self control and never again eat pizza, then the moment we eat pizza we figure we've lost.  I think  most people are really good at making

themselves feel guilty about their food choices, I don't think we need more of that. Learning to treat ourselves with kindness, and  looking at it objectively and figuring out why we made choices contrary to our goals (which doesn't make us lazy or bad) and how we might improve is what makes the difference.

 

Also interesting is the scientist are now researching into how the bacteria in our gut influences our weight and food choices. 

[cn3wton]

16 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I'm glad to know that in context it wasn't as harsh as it seems. 

 

I think it was definitely harsh, but not malicious. Does that make sense?

 

16 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

Thanks for reminding me about the podcast, I wanted to listen to that. I see somewhat what he's saying, but I don't think it is all about discipline. I think way too many diet plans say this is going to be easy, whether it's Paleo, low- carb ,vegan, whatever. But it isn't . We are surrounded by food . And a lot of that food is designed to tell your brain that you need MORE of it. And we've grown up using food as rewards, or comfort. To lose and maintain weight loss requires you to really change your whole relationship with food. And I don't think it's a pas / fail. I think the point he was making about sustainability was right. If  we have the mindset of the rule is to never eat sugar, I ate sugar, therefore I fail and I may as well eat the whole pie,  then yeah that sets us up for failure. But that could be said for discipline too. If we have the mindset of " I will have self control and never again eat pizza, then the moment we eat pizza we figure we've lost.  I think  most people are really good at making

themselves feel guilty about their food choices, I don't think we need more of that. Learning to treat ourselves with kindness, and  looking at it objectively and figuring out why we made choices contrary to our goals (which doesn't make us lazy or bad) and how we might improve is what makes the difference.

 

Also interesting is the scientist are now researching into how the bacteria in our gut influences our weight and food choices. 

 

The book Wired to Eat is a pretty great resource on the science of this whole thing. And it proves, through science, exactly what you are saying. The issue is its counterintuitive for our bodies not to eat everything we see, because our bodies still havent adapted to our current way of life where food is readily available. Interesting read for sure.

[Elastigirl]

3 hours ago, cn3wton said:

 

I think it was definitely harsh, but not malicious. Does that make sense?

 

 

The book Wired to Eat is a pretty great resource on the science of this whole thing. And it proves, through science, exactly what you are saying. The issue is its counterintuitive for our bodies not to eat everything we see, because our bodies still havent adapted to our current way of life where food is readily available. Interesting read for sure.

Yeah, I've read that book (or listened to is actually-) Which is where I get that information. I find that information very helpful. Strict rule of never eating processed food doesn't really work for me, but the awareness that things like potato chips may mess with my normal satiety signals ,helps me when I do decide to eat them.

[cn3wton]

What a weekend. Forgot about my 10year high school reunion. Only about 20 people showed up but I ripped up the dance floor and drank more than I would have liked. But I was a good time.

 

Payed for it the next day. Sore and exhausted. Still took a 2 mile hike with the dog though. But his sneezing got really bad...

 

After an emergency trip to the vet this morning because I got barely an hours sleep hes got some meds to hopefully get whatever is stuck in his nose out... If it doesn't get any better they will have to put a scope up his nose. Which will require putting him under... So fun times. Food has been meh, and havent been back to the gym. Soon though.... once things calm down.

[cn3wton]

Another great weekend has gone by.

 

Saturday was haunted hay ride and maze at a local farm. The hay ride wasn't very scary, but the maze was the highlight.

 

Sunday was the memorial for my grandfather, we also buried his ashes. It was a nice time to remember him. Its hard to believe its been almost a year. Since he was the caretaker of the cemetery, a job his son now holds, we all took turns filling in the grave and cleaning up. It was odd, but also nice. Something I think he would have appreciated.

 

Still not back to the gym and eating extremely well, but I am making progress. I will be back to the gym this week.

[cn3wton]

I've decided that tomorow I am going back to the gym. Everything points to that being the best day for it.

 

This weekends focus will be trying to get my nutrition back on track.

[cn3wton]

Still alive and still kicking. Still struggling with nutrition and settling into a routine. But I am getting there.

 

Red dead redemption 2 isn't helping though...

[RES]

How are the gym trips going?

[cn3wton]

Here I am again, almost a year since my last post.

 

Things have not gone well fitness and health wise. I am now officially the heaviest I have ever been.

 

It is, well, honestly quite difficult to come back since its not something I am proud of. It is like anything associated with my original weight loss and healthy lifestyle has been cut out of my life due to embarrassment.

 

It literally took me years to be able to go back to one of my favorite restaurants because of this.

 

A lot has changed in my life, and I am honestly quite happy. And I have decided to try some drastically different methods to get myself back on track.

 

First off I am hopefully going to speak with a "spritual healer" over the phone to set up an in person appointment sometime this week. Apparently shes picky and only sees certain people and turns a lot of people away. But she wanted to talk with me so theres that. I want to make it clear that I don't believe in any of that stuff, or at least, never have. But I spoke with someone who sees her and he explained what she does and I was quite intrigued. Its definitely stepping out of my comfort zone but I am up for anything at this point. 

 

When i was healthy I really liked yoga, but never enough to do it quite as much as I probably should have. So, Monday I did my first DDPYoga workout and it was fantastic. I am still sore TODAY. I am cautious to go back to the gym for my main workouts since my crippling self consciousness makes me dread it. So instead I will be meeting on fridays (at least every other firday) to do that days workout with him (hes also the guy that told me about the spiritual healer).

 

As far as food, I know I have to get back into meal prep. And I just need to do it. Everything else I have tried just hasnt worked and I need to go all in with this. Not only is it killing me physically its also a huge financial hit eating out for every meal.

 

This is not the first time I have come back to the forum, and honestly I have questioned if I should come back. Is it something additional that will weigh on me and drag me down? Am I just trying to grasp a shred of the achievement I had before? I don't know. 

 

So I figured I would give it a shot, with conditions. No crazy time intensive endeavors (sorry all Nerdhammer fans). No worrying about anything. If I post, I post. We will see how it goes I guess. But I have made the decision to not post for the sake of posting. That includes on other peoples stuff. If I am not actively following your challenge im not gonna do the meaningless "NICE JOB!" posts anymore. Its a feigned connection. Something to just check off as done. I want to actually engage with people. So who knows, it may take some time for me to get out there again.

 

Who knows, but its worth a shot right?

[Jean]

2 hours ago, cn3wton said:

No worrying about anything. If I post, I post.

This. Go for what works and put your energy where it's needed without additional pressure.

 

2 hours ago, cn3wton said:

Who knows, but its worth a shot right? 

Always.

 

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

I'm heavier now than I have ever been as well. I'm glad you're posting again, it's always helpful to me to stay engaged here.

[WhiteGhost]

Hey,  great to see you here again! 

 

7 hours ago, cn3wton said:

No worrying about anything.

Sounds like a good approach 

 

[RES]

Welcome back! I hit my heaviest at the beginning of this year, holding myself accountable here has helped me turn that around.

[DarK_RaideR]

Dude. It's not a year since your last post. That was Oct.30, 2018. Half a year, tops. Not that it matters much, but still.

 

Also, regarding this:

17 hours ago, cn3wton said:

It is, well, honestly quite difficult to come back since its not something I am proud of.

No one comes here because they're proud of where they're at. We come here because we need to pick ourselves back up. Instead, you should be proud you're back and trying to work on the issues at hand.

 

Welcome back.

[cn3wton]

Thanks everybody!

 

I didnt do my DDPY last night. Only because I was out doing yard work and mowing until late, so I was absolutely beat.

 

Food was MEH

 

Planning on doing DDPY tonight and tomorrow. Then that will mark the end of my first week. I gotta take some pictures.

 

Heard from the "spirit healer" she will be calling we sometime over the next few days. Interested to see what happens, always trying to be open and try new things i guess.