cn3wton, Battle log of Ages

[WhiteGhost]

17 hours ago, cn3wton said:

I will be doing a 5k. I am not saying I am going to run the whole thing, or go for a record time. I am just going to finish it NO MATTER WHAT

Good for you!   I have 100% confidence that you can do it  

[cn3wton]

So today I did a 5k. I started off by jogging, but quickly had to change to a brisk walk. It would have been easy to get discouraged as I was passed by everyone, even the walkers, but this wasn't about them. It was about me.

 

I used strategies from David Goggins book to get me through. Thinking of past achievements. I visualized that the version of me I want to be was in front of me, and with every step I was getting closer to the person I wanted to be. The pain was part of my metamorphises. 

 

I thought to myself how many 330lb people where running today. Not many. How many 330lb guys would then agree to load a bar for a charity weightlifting competition following that? I may never be a navy seal or a olympic athlete, but I am extra ordinary because I choose to do things that others like me won't.

 

As I cycled between jogging and walking I started to look at how thankful I am to be able to choose to do this. Thankful for the difficult mostly uphill course, because it has taught me quite a lot about myself.

 

I told myself that at the end of the run I would jog 10 extra paces, because it's far easier to stop at the goal than it is to keep going after its reached. To me this is just the start and a change to my take on life. I need to continue forward, each milestone is just a step forward, I will stop being happy with just reaching my goal and stopping.

[WhiteGhost]

Way to do the thing!   Extra kudos for pushing through past the finish line! 

[RES]

Great job!!

[DarK_RaideR]

Congratulations on conquering the 5k!

[cn3wton]

On 6/30/2019 at 4:25 AM, WhiteGhost said:

Way to do the thing!   Extra kudos for pushing through past the finish line! 

 

On 6/30/2019 at 7:11 AM, RES said:

Great job!!

 

4 hours ago, DarK_RaideR said:

Congratulations on conquering the 5k!

 

Thanks everybody, first step on a long journey but it will be worth it!

[cn3wton]

So yesterday I didn't want to do anything but lay down and do nothing. I did some of that, but I made myself mow the lawn because it needed to be done.

 

I was talking with my dad, specifically about what I did saturday (5k followed by loading the bar for the competition) and he said "Your young you shouldn't have any issue with that!" I snapped at him. Hes a great father, and I think he takes my health issues very personally but he doesn't get that when he says that its not helpful and outright bullshit. So I told him that I may be 28 but physically I have the body of a 60 year old. Im not saying its right and that I should deal with it but thats just how things are. I havent talked to him since and I just walked off to finish mowing.

 

I know for a fact that he blames himself for my unhealthy upbringing, and sure my parents where 100% responsible for my bad habits as a kid. But I am a grown man and have no excuses left. It would have been very easy to say something along the lines of "well when you start your life off as an overweight kid "blah blah blah. But that would just be selfish. I have said before my parents are amazing and taught me so much. Nobody is perfect.

 

I just brushed off his comment and am just going to keep moving forward.

[cn3wton]

Gotta take the dog to a rabies clinic tonight after his time playing with the raccoon... So no gym tonight. Still recovering from 5k anyways.

 

Food went ok today, was gonna get a salad but folded and got a sub. Will have to focus tonight. Looking forward to having thursday and possible friday off.

 

Thats it for now.

[RES]

Hope everything goes well at the vet

[cn3wton]

Things are going ok. Weight loss has stalled a bit, but admittedly I havent made huge changes there.

 

Been slowing working back in some exercise. Its going moderately well...

 

Found a new gaming addiction. Crusader Kings 2 with the Game of Thrones mod... been spending a bit too much time on it. Its a game that I didnt know I needed in my life, but I definitely need to reign it in. I havent played a game in like 2 months and now I spent 8 hours over the course of 3 days playing one. Im not saying games are bad but I can't spend so much time on them when I have so much more stuff to do.

 

Cleaning up the apartment is high on my list of shit I need to do, plus I have to mow tonight which takes me about 2 hours... so thats fun.

[DarK_RaideR]

I've tricked myself into being productive in the past when I was hooked on a videogame. I'd only allow myself to play after I was done with certain tasks, so it made me motivated to sort them out first, plus I was playing guilt-free afterwards. Might be worth giving it a try.

[cn3wton]

Still trucking along. Weight loss is not what it should be, but a lot of things are improving in my life so I will stay positive.

 

Thats about it for now.

[DarK_RaideR]

Do not underestimate said things improving in your life. Having a solid foundation is very important. Having messed up life stuff undermines your fitness efforts. You are on the right path.

[cn3wton]

On 7/15/2019 at 11:57 AM, DarK_RaideR said:

Do not underestimate said things improving in your life. Having a solid foundation is very important. Having messed up life stuff undermines your fitness efforts. You are on the right path.

 

Thanks man, im learning that more and more each day.

[cn3wton]

Back again with a HUGE change in mindset and focus. Buckle up this update is going to full of blood, sweat, and tears. Maybe thats a bit dramatic but here we go. I also apologize for the profanity in advance.

 

It all started out with realizing my goals where bullshit. Lose weight, be healthy, those are some vague shitty ass goals. What do those mean to me? Should I way less and be healthier, sure. But as goals those are about as phoned in as a clever telethon based pun. They are shit.

 

I just finished reading David Goggins book "Can't Hurt Me", and it really resonated with me. He was fat and out of shape, twice, and managed to turn shit around, twice! And on top of that become a navy seal and an all around bad ass. He also had a hole in his freaking heart when he did it all!

 

Sure I may not want to be a SEAL, but I kept thinking why is it that he was so driven that he lost so much weight in such a short time. And on top of that, kept pushing to become a bad ass? Well he had a goal that was make it or break it. There was a deadline, there where stakes, and he either had to work towards that goal every god damn day or it was all worthless. And he wanted it, BAD.

 

Meanwhile I'm over here with weak ass goals with an open ended date and the only stakes are disease, discomfort, and an early death. Something that apparently doesn't phase me since I just keep not doing anything.

 

So I looked back on my previous fitness journey. What did I do different? What was the drive that kept me going. And the truth was simple, I set bad ass goals. I didnt care if it was doing a handstand off the wall, or a cartwheel, or perfecting my jump rope skills even in a god damn snow storm! I set goals and I worked towards those every fucking day.

 

All of these goals had something to do with an action I had never done before, or improving something that I could sort of do. Well I decided its about damn time I set up a kick ass new goal that sounds impressive, but is also doable.

 

Running a marathon in a month just isnt going to happen, I know that. But what is something I can do? What is something that despite my issues and weight I can do?

 

Walk.

 

I can always take another step, I can always move forward. So my goal is on September 22nd to walk from my house to the gym, totaling 25.4 miles. It should take roughtly 8 hours. Thats a pretty bad ass achievement. Even if its "just" walking, how many people do you know who have walked 25+ miles just to walk it? Not many.

 

Having that goal in mind I have a plan. Every day on lunch (except thursdays) I will walk. I will get my nutrition back on track to help me to not only lose weight to make this easier, but to also help fuel my walking. Today I am fasting to get my intermittent fasting back on track. And once a week I need to do one BAD ASS WALK. Picking some place that I would never see myself walking to, something that seems crazy, and walking there.

 

I will take the dog with me on some, dependent on distance and weather. But he will likely stick to the shorter walks with me since he doesn't behave that well on leash.

 

So I am working towards improving myself for a goal. When I crush this walk I will pick another one.

 

I may even post about the walk on facebook and raise money for it for a charity or some shit. But I'm not worried about that now.

 

Go out there and set bad ass goals everyone, and do everything you can to make them a reality!

[DarK_RaideR]

5 hours ago, cn3wton said:

perfecting my jump rope skills even in a god damn snow storm

That video and your insane NerdHammer performance are the two things that always come to mind when I think of you.

 

You sound pretty driven, let's see that translate to progress and by that I mean consistent work. Motivation comes and goes, but work pays off.

[RES]

 

Welcome back (again)  

[cn3wton]

The scale has begun slowly inching back down.

 

PROGRESS!

 

I have been talking a 1/2 mile to mile long walk at lunch each day, coupled with intermittent fasting. It seems to be working well. Definitely nowhere near as hungry as usual and not eating nearly as much.

 

Lets keep this moving!

[Jean]

On 7/22/2019 at 4:48 PM, cn3wton said:

[...]

 

Just read this post and all I could read was badass to the core.

 

Go for it, keep at it, kick ass!

[WhiteGhost]

A 25 mile walk is certainly an ambitious goal, but I have 100% confidence that you can do it

[cn3wton]

Another update.

 

I have been walking more and more. I walked roughly 3.5 miles on saturday and 6 on sunday. Its getting easier and easier to "go the distance" one might say. My back and shoulders hurt more from the walk than my feet do!

 

Intermittent fasting seems to be the key along with smart eating. So I plan on keeping it up and continuing to stay hydrated.

 

Professionaly I plan on taking classes to get liscenced for trading on the stock market through the company my financial advisor works for. Its a great company and I have no commitments. I can use what I learn just for me or I can take on clients and make money on the side.

 

Thats it for now!

[Jean]

7 minutes ago, cn3wton said:

Professionaly I plan on taking classes to get liscenced for trading on the stock market

 

I'm jealous. Does it show? I hope it doesn't show. Hope it'll be as fun as my mind is making it out to be (not dealing with clients panicking at the slightest drop but being able to actually trade yourself without always needing the middleman).

[WhiteGhost]

7 hours ago, cn3wton said:

Professionaly I plan on taking classes to get liscenced for trading on the stock market through the company my financial advisor works for.

Series 7? 

[cn3wton]

20 hours ago, Jean said:

 

I'm jealous. Does it show? I hope it doesn't show. Hope it'll be as fun as my mind is making it out to be (not dealing with clients panicking at the slightest drop but being able to actually trade yourself without always needing the middleman).

 

Lol it should only take a year or so.

 

12 hours ago, WhiteGhost said:

Series 7? 

 

Honestly I don't know?

 

So for a bit of background there is a company called Primerica that does alot of financial advice type stuff, and I will be getting everything through them. My financial advisor is a close family friend and she suggested it and what she does is amazing so I said why not? So I don't know a ton about it but I know it will help me out in life just knowing the stuff.

 

As far as trading, I don't expect to be "playing" the stock market. But I would like to know how to handle my investments on my own, and perhaps one day help others.

 

[Jean]

20 hours ago, cn3wton said:

As far as trading, I don't expect to be "playing" the stock market. But I would like to know how to handle my investments on my own, and perhaps one day help others.

 

Yeah, poor wording on my part when it comes to the stock market, I meant it in a way that life is a fun adventure and everday feels like a game to me. Handling my investments with care and caution is playing to me, just as is planning a road project involving private and community interrests. Understanding and knowing things is great, I wish you fun and wisdom on that path.