Disil's Log

[Disil]

Workout for today:

 

Headstand Push-Ups: 8, 6, 9

DB Deadlifts (77lbs): 8, 8, 8

Side-to-Side Push-Ups: 8, 6, 6

DB Shrugs (77lbs):  10, 10, 10 

Bulgarian Split Squats (+77lbs): 5, 5, 5

.6 mile run

Pull-Ups (false grip): 10, 8, 8, 6

Bodyweight Dips: 10, 8, 7, 5

.6 mile run

 

I'm almost relieved to have had a bad day as it shows that the cut is eventually affecting performance and the diet break is indeed a good idea. I mean sure, I'm feeling some effects of the cut a lot, sex drive has never been this low as far as I can think back my entire adult life, I'm almost constantly cold and move very little outside of exercise or walks and my recovery has gone to shit, but on the other hand, I still rarely feel true hunger and my workouts thus far have looked pretty stellar considering the size and frequency of my deficits and the length of the cut. Okay, a lot of today's workout sucking might actually be related to insufficient recovery, given I worked out quite hard only 2 days ago and had a great run yesterday. No rest for the wicked tho, worst case scenario I rest my upper body 2 days and run twice in a row instead. With the weather as awesome as it is right now and a diet break imminent, I won't sit on my ass, that's for sure.

 

Weight: 134.9lbs

Calories: 1316

 

Calories were great once more. Weight is whatever, lots of water still going around. The next two days will tell more.

[Disil]

Workout for today:

 

4.2m run in 44:16 at 6:28min/km

 

Okay, maybe a full rest day isn't such a bad idea after all. I barely made this run, felt exhausted 10 minutes in and pushed through on sheer stubbornness. My left patella acted up for a bit but then stopped again and overall I just felt beat up and short-winded the entire distance despite ideal running conditions. 5 more days of cutting.

 

Weight: 134.5lbs

Calories: 1381

 

Calories were great once more. Weight is whatever, lots of water still going around. The next two days will tell more.

[EmbracingChaos]

You're closing in on the finish line for a bit.  Hang strong, take your well-deserved rest day, then come back and kill it until the end.

[Disil]

Thank you for the encouraging words. Morale is pretty down so that was just what I needed.

 

Today is a rest day. I really don't want to rest, but I need to, even if the scale makes me want to do anything but. My left forearm and both shoulders are far from recovered and my quads and hamstrings are still sore. I'll see that I walk at least an hour or two today and do 15 minutes of relaxing yoga.

 

Weight: 134.0lbs

Calories: 1390

 

A smaller refeed, two runs and a strength workout on 1330/1320/1380 calories, yet 4 days later I'm still above my weight before the refeed. This is one of those times where I really need to stay cool and trust the process. My weight loss otherwise is perfectly on schedule so I know I should. I even took a rain check on the lunch-invite of my Dad because I knew I'd end up eating less than ideal. I woke up ravenous, but managed to stifle my hunger by having a huge tuna salad, an obstquark and some self-made popcorn (no additives except for minimal amounts of icing sugar), but that also means the remainder of my day's calories will come in the shape of two protein-shakes and it's only 2 pm. I've got a ton of chores to take care off and some video gaming to occupy my evening so at least I'll be distracted for the rest of the day.

[Urgan]

It'll be okay soon, you just need to take that extra rest and it'll be back to regularly scheduled programming. Philosophy/psychology always seems to be the hardest part of fitness...

[Disil]

Oh, I believe almost everything is mostly psychology. Cardio for example. Once there's a baseline level of fitness, the difference between running 10 miles or a marathon is almost entirely mental, the difference between a marathon and an ultra mostly mental preparation and psychological battles (as told so by a 4 time ultra marathoner).

 

Well, as far as psychology and willpower go, today was a good day. I met with a friend and turned down free beer she invited me to in order to celebrate a couple passed exams and was able to convince her to just go for a long walk instead. Overall I walked more than 3 hours today and spent a lot of the remaining time standing, doing dishes, laundry, whatever and the scale should reflect this.

 

Oh and of course the first thing she said was "I barely recognized you, you beanpole" in a very friendly tone. Guess I'll take the compliment, heh. We met about 7 years ago and the vast majority of this time I've been the chubby guy, sometimes a little smaller, sometimes borderline obese, so I can imagine it's not easy to adjust to the way I look now. Well she better get used to it.

[Disil]

Workout for today:

 

Headstand Push-Ups:  10, 9, 7

DB Deadlifts (77lbs): 8, 8, 8

Side-to-Side Push-Ups: 8, 7, 7

DB Shrugs (77lbs):  10, 10, 10 

Bulgarian Split Squats (+77lbs): 5, 5, 5

Door Pull-Ups: 10, 9, 9, 7, 8

 

Getting lighter, but the numbers still go down despite two rest days for my upper body. Yup, a diet break is certainly in order and there's no delaying it. Disregard the crossed out stuff on the bottom of this post.

 

Weight: 133.6lbs

Calories: 1226 (not even hungry since lunch)

 

Diet is extremely dialed in, unfortunately weight also seems to be, ha. :X

While the jury is still out to some extent, I can't help but feel that the way I did my previous three refeeds is not working too well. Yes, I do wake up fairly lean and feeling good, but that's probably more due to choice of foods (more starches, less fructose and milk) than anything else. The real issues are that I don't feel all that "replenished" in terms of energy for workouts, plus I also have a hard time dropping the weight I gain from the refeeds, which should be almost entirely water weight and I can only attribute those things to inefficient consumption of the carbs, i. E. the burst and amount is too high for how short the timeframe is. So what basically was my intention (refeed at maintenance calories for the day by refeeding in a surplus over 3-4 hours in order to not gain too much excess weight) seems to backfire, because my weight stays higher for longer after a 2700-2900cal refeed day where I consume ~2400cal over 3-4 hours, than it does after a 3700-3800cal refeed day where I consume those calories throughout the entire day.

My last three refeeds, it took me 6, 4 and 5 days respectively to drop below the weight I was at before the refeed, whereas for the other two refeeds during which I ate an additional ~1000cal and ~150g carbs each, distributed across an entire day, it took me 3 and 4 days to do so. Another interesting tidbit is that my fat intake on those two days was a lot higher and I didn't pay much attention whether I mixed protein/fat with carbs first thing after the workout. I'm also not carrying any noteworthy amount of squishy fat right now so it's not like I'm expecting much of a woosh either. Ooookay.. While working out I noticed how my entire stomach-fat went from normal to super jiggly. This is absolutely crazy. I didn't eat anything out of the ordinary today, calories are low, carbs are low..guess exercise triggered it this time around as the only thing different was a can of diet soda but I can't imagine that having anything to do with it.

 

Long story short, my next refeed will be somewhere in the middle, around 3200-3300cal, ~620g of carbs and spanning the entire day. I'm tempted to delay the diet break and push it back a week, to see whether this refeed works better (better replenishing, dropping the added weight quicker), but I don't know if my body will hold up. My mental game is real strong after yesterday so that's no worry. I guess I'll see with these next three workouts, the refeed is scheduled either way.

[Disil]

Workout for today:

 

5.28m run in 54:19 at 6:23min/km

 

On the last day of week 6, I totally see why Lyle recommends 4-6 weeks at the most for lean people until taking a diet break. I'm so beat up, my left forearm began hurting during running and a bunch of other places also hurt. My skin and nails are also in pretty horrible shape I just discovered and recovery / sex drive we already know are both all but gone. That being said, being this light, the run still went pretty well. It was gorgeous outside, albeit quite windy and my pace was great.

 

Weight: 132.3lbs

Calories: 1364

 

Like clockwork, squishy fat -> woosh. And it's not over yet - once I drank 2 huge glasses of water and a protein-milkshake after my run, I looked down and oh my, the glorious jiggling that's ensuing is a delight to see. Aside from this or the number on the scale, I am officially the leanest I've ever been! It's a shame that this will only continue for 3 more days, but I am supremely confident, that my diet break will go just as well as this cut did and I will resume where I leave off on Sunday when all is said and done and this log/you guys are a major factor in this, holding me accountable, giving support and advice. As EC said, "come back and kill it until the end."

[Disil]

Workout for today:

 

Headstand Push-Ups: 7, 7, 5

DB Deadlifts (77lbs): 8, 8, 7

Side-to-Side Push-Ups: 7, 6, 6

DB Shrugs (77lbs):  10, 10, 10 

Bulgarian Split Squats (+77lbs): 5, 5, 5

Door Pull-Ups: 10, 8, 8, 8, 8

 

Embracing the suck. During the first set of headstand push-ups, I didn't have anything left after the 7th rep, so I was stuck there and after a few seconds just fell to the side. Thankfully I didn't almost break my toe again, but this was as close to a neck injury as it gets. I managed to break the brunt of the fall with my right arm, but yeah, I'm getting noticeably weaker, even being as light as I've ever been. The remaining numbers tell a similar story..I guess this is also the subpar refeed showing its effects. I'll certainly profit from figuring out the refeeds a bit more and using them more liberally, especially towards the end of a cut.

I was even entertaining the idea of doing an impromptu refeed right now, but everything's laid out perfectly and throwing over the entire schedule now doesn't seem like the best way to start a planned diet break off. I just hope I'll have enough energy to run tomorrow.

 

Weight: 131.6lbs

Calories: 1378

 

59.7kg/131.6lbs - new adult life low and finally matching my leanness. My hip and gut fat is extremely squishy and I totally have the "marbles under the skin" thing going on right now. I hope that I'll lose a bunch of additional water as soon as leptin reaches normal levels again during my diet break, because honestly, this looks worse right now than it did for the last 10lbs or so, at least the fat appeared somewhat firm, now it's just hanging down off of me, looking horrible. Oh well..in the words of Lyle: "This is bad in that it looks really weird, but it’s good because it means that the fat is going away." So yay.

[PaulG]

Oh, Lyle. I've never seen someone more knowledgeable who still talks like an actual human being.

Sorry to hear about the HeSPU fail. Do you know how to somersault out or pirouette bail? They kind of hurt when you're already on your head, but they'll keep you from breaking a toe or wrenching your neck. Practicing those got me a lot more comfortable upside down.

[Disil]

I usually use the pirouette bail to get out of it anyway, but I didn't even have the power to do that. I work in really confined space here in my small and short hallway because it's the only place where I can wallwalk while also having enough space to the sides to do the bail. I just need to listen to my body's queues and stop pushing so hard when it's evident that I shouldn't. I mean it's the first time this happened in like a thousand or so and I hope that I'll soon be strong enough to do them back to-wall with good form so I can always just kick back down.

[Urgan]

Sorry to hear you're having a rough time getting your exercise in. Lessons are being learned here, though, which will help in the future, so that part is good. By all means, go for a proper diet break, but if you can't run, consider it a body-enforced rest day and go back and read your weight again, lol. Maybe also consider a modified workout for deep in a future cut to avoid toe or neck breakage, to circumvent feelings that you have to get the reps or it's a subpar workout when you're also operating on sub-optimal energy levels? Just a thought. Whatever it takes to get you to success in a safe, reproducible manner and all that.

 

Once you do start increasing your calories, it'll be interesting to see how much you continue to lose vs how you feel and perform on your workouts. 

[Disil]

Alright, tank's empty. I really tried my best, but my body is not following instructions and you know the saying, better safe than sorry. After a hearty breakfast, I was planning to go for a final run, but going grocery shopping already took most of my energy. My hips ache, my shoulders do as well and my legs aren't much better. The prospect of running in windy, cold weather without sun already sucks, but the real issue is doing another strength workout tomorrow while the tank's been empty for almost a week now. The fact that the scale basically flipped me off this morning despite what should be a 900+cal deficit doesn't really encourage me to fight for two more workouts before finally refeeding so yeah - I'll just reschedule the refeed from tomorrow to today and extend the diet break by an additional day to have it last from tomorrow until March 31, as was planned initially and rest for two days. You're right Urgan. I've gotten a lot done this cut and forcing my body to stick to the schedule instead of adapting to the situation is just nonsensical. Is it optimal to refeed the day after working out instead of the day of? Sure, but little has been "optimal" this week anyway, heh.

 

Weight: 132.3lbs

Refeed:

Calories: 3349

Carbs: 622g

Protein: 140g

Fat: 44g

 

This all might slightly change depending on the amount of chili sauce I'll use for my jasmine rice and the amount of jam I'll use on my wheat rolls, but that's around where I'll end up at. Fat is a bit higher than I would like, but I made my chicken-salad, not expecting to refeed, but it's still well within reason.

Regarding the diet break, I'm pretty much in the dark as to where exactly my TDEE lies right now, so I'll be sticking to the lower end of the results the usual calculators give me (1840, 1823, 1831, 1841) and try to hit at least 1800, but not exceed 1825 and see which direction my weight moves after the initial refeed/beginning of diet break - bump, so I can narrow it down again. Workout calories will likely look like 620 for longer runs, 540 for shorter runs, 600 for strength training if I get to the park, 510 if I don't. And yeah, those numbers are hardly laser precision, but what is.

[EmbracingChaos]

I think you did just fine on this cut, so just enjoy the food, and eat around your planned 1800 calories and raise accordingly until your weight has stabilized and you start feeling better. As long as you keep things under control, your workouts and overall feeling should improve quickly. Just try to not go off the tracks with eating, that is hard to do when not cutting, I have the same difficulty.

[Disil]

I'm super focused on tracking throughout this diet break. Thanks to your longer post last week, I know what pitfalls are there and how best to avoid them. To never give up control, that's the main thing.

[Disil]

Workout for today:

 

Headstand Push-Ups: 10, 9, 9

DB Deadlifts (77lbs): 8, 8, 8

Side-to-Side Push-Ups: 9, 8, 8

DB Shrugs (77lbs):  10, 10, 10 

Bulgarian Split Squats (+77lbs): 5, 5, 5

Door Pull-Ups: 10, 8, 8, 8, 8

 

It just didn't feel right to not work out today, especially since another of my pitfalls during the last "diet breaks" was a lack of exercise after getting stuffed with junk. Well, I had my fair share of junk today (and it was glorious), so I didn't want the second part of the equation even begin to come up by resting two days in a row.

This was a great workout. I notice that I'm overly cautious during HeSPUs now and routinely do one less rep than I think I can, just because I'm afraid to get stuck and fall on my ass again. There's worse I guess, but it's annoying. Given that the refeed happened under less than ideal conditions and I'm still far from back to a 100% this early into the diet break, I should be happy with this workout and so I am, even though I kind of faded during the pull-ups.

 

Weight: 134.3lbs

Calories: 2335

 

A 2lbs spike is pretty tame considering the amount of carbs I had and the lack of an actual workout on the refeed day. It might even go higher instead of lower if I can continue to fully replenish glycogen stores and get some more water stored from sodium and more food stored in my belly. Calories are pretty much on point for a workout day (2310-2335) and I already mastered two difficult temptations in that I didn't empty the entire tub of my favourice ice cream (yes there is some left, yes I am aware, no I am not going to touch it, yes I am just as amazed as you are by that ) and only ate 2 out of the 6 muffins I made, calculating exactly how much I can fit in while still hitting my calorie target for the day. The reward is no joint pain, very little bloating and the ability to work out properly, hooray. Gonna post pictures of the muffins and the chicken salad from yesterday in tomorrow's post.

[Disil]

Today is a rest day. I didn't get much sleep and the scale reflects that a bit. Still waiting for everything to settle anyway. All good.

 

Weight: 135.1lbs

Calories: 1920

 

Calories are a bit above my target, but all the errand-running and general walking today should easily take care of the ~100 calories I'm over.

[PaulG]

1. Where are the muffins.

2. Where is that chicken salad.

3. You should do that HeSPU video you mentioned! I know you are stronger than me, and I wanna live vicariously.

[k_stew_]

Following along! Hi!

[Disil]

1. Where are the muffins.

2. Where is that chicken salad.

3. You should do that HeSPU video you mentioned! I know you are stronger than me, and I wanna live vicariously.

Not too happy with them, at least they tasted okay. I really gotta up my muffin game.

The salad on the other hand was delicious and it also looks the part.

 

As far as the HeSPU video goes, to be honest, I did record when I fell on my ass the other day and was too embarrassed to upload that so I was waiting to regain strength so I whatever I upload will be at least somewhat presentable.

 

 

Following along! Hi!

Hi there.

[Urgan]

Not too happy with them, at least they tasted okay. I really gotta up my muffin game.

The salad on the other hand was delicious and it also looks the part.

 

As far as the HeSPU video goes, to be honest, I did record when I fell on my ass the other day and was too embarrassed to upload that so I was waiting to regain strength so I whatever I upload will be at least somewhat presentable.

 

 

Hi there.

 

I personally volunteer myself for muffin training, LOL.

 

Better to fall on your ass than your head, that could have been srs bad if you weren't lucky. 

[Disil]

Workout for today:

 

Headstand Push-Ups: 8, 8, 6

DB Deadlifts (77lbs): 9, 9, 9

Side-to-Side Push-Ups: 8, 7

Incline One-Arm-Push-Ups: 2

DB Shrugs (77lbs):  12, 12, 12

Bulgarian Split Squats (+77lbs): 6, 6, 6

.6 mile run

Pull-Ups (false grip): 10, 8, 8, 5

Bodyweight Dips: 11, 8, 8

.6 mile run

 

Okay, I need to fix this and quickly. I'm now constantly worried that I'll collapse during the HeSPUs as soon as I enter the later reps and thus routinely go for less than I actually could do. My forearms being hella sore again doesn't help matters obviously. Other than that the workout went great. I could improve again on several lifts, clearly showing that sore arms as well as mental hurdles and not a lack of energy or strength are the reasons for why the push exercises ended up rather disappointing. I also tried some different things out, including incline OAPs on my bench and I might stick with that, depending on how they look next workout, after two rest days.
Oh yes, this week is spoiling us with great spring weather so I was able to work out at the park again.

 

Weight: 134.5lbs

Calories: 2476

 

.6lbs down again, no real surprise there, still settling down. I'm really happy to see "61kg" on the scale despite entering day 4 of the diet break. It shows that I'm still in full control and everything is going according to plan. I might have to bump calories a bit, say by 50cal or so, as it just feels as if I'm still in a slight deficit the way I'm doing things right now. Yes, very scientific, I know.

At 2476, I'm a bit above my target (2400-2425) for a workout including the park, but as mentioned, I'm likely a little low anyway. I'm definitely feeling a lot better day to day. Sex drive is pretty much back to normal, hunger is basically non-existant unless I splurge in the morning and have to restrain myself in the evening, sleep is a lot better. Sadly the squish is still strong with me and my gut is jiggling every chance that it gets. With hindsight being 20/20, I'm really glad that I went through with this diet break and didn't try to force things, because it appears as if there's still a ways to go, even now, after the diet break is over. It doesn't look that way necessarily on the pictures, but there's quite a lot of fat on my lower back/backside of the hips and my thighs and butt are also fat enough to still have quite some to spare, so I might look at another 6-12 weeks of steep deficits until I'll truly have arrived at "cut-as-fuckistan". We'll see.

[PaulG]

Lots to comment on. For example, glad your diet break is going well, that's flippin' awesome. Now, bailing out of those pesky HeSPUs.

Pirouette bail is not gonna work if you fail. Thus, you need a good option for bailing when your arms are bent and unable to straighten. I've been dealing with a similar problem this week and found the somersault bail works incredibly well. It's pretty painless even when your arms are shot, and especially if your head has a little cushioning (mine does not).

So first, ever done the somersault? Second, do you do your HeSPUs with a pillow under the head? And third, how much room have you got in front of you if you need to roll out of the handstand?

[Disil]

I've done my fair share of somersaults back in school, but I don't have any space in front of me to safely do them here (the narrow hallway/corridor I mentioned before). I also don't use a pillow anymore since my goal is to touch the floor with my head ever so slightly (achieving max ROM) and a pillow I feel would prevent me from going as deep as I need without providing that much actual safety, cause if I fall on my head at that point, my weight will take care of my neck, pillow or no pillow.

 

My idea basically was to transition into kicking up for HeSPUs, doing them with my back to the wall and then just kicking back down again. That way, if I get stuck again, I can just let my legs fall down and the worst that could happen is that I slam my knees on the floor..much better than my head.

[Urgan]

We're having very nice weather here, too, perfect for outdoor exercise.You probably are still in a "burning" state, you just came off your cut, and most people keep on losing a bit thereafter, if the online reportage is to be believed, so...maybe a bit more of an increase soon wouldn't hurt. Maybe you'll get rid of that squish soon.