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Blaidd

Blaidd's 1000 Hill Challenge v2014.6: starting on the back foot

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It's good to hear your lungs are doing better. I think I managed to avoid going all the way to bronchitis this time. I've still got a bit of cough but I don't have that itchy burning in my lungs today. 

 

I know just what you mean about the crisps. I haven't been able to figure out why I do it to myself either. A lot of times the things I crave end up not tasting that good but I still have a compulsion to snack on them. I'm doing a little better this week but I'm having a tough time with that stuff too. We'll get it figured out one of these days. *hugs*

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Apart from eating all the good stuff, I had a sandwich on the most delicious rye bread I've ever tasted (which i didn't think was so bad, honestly) and then i bought a packet of crisps (and ate it).  I knew I was doing it and that I wasn't supposed to, but i still did it anyway.  Why do i always goddamn sabotage myself.  Why do I always do stuff that isn't gonna benefit me in any way.  Why??  I don't hate myself for eating the crisps, but i do hate myself for sabotaging myself.  It really does bother me. I need to stop messing up my life.  I love my life but I keep doing things that mess it up. oh well something i really have to work on.  I need to make it a priority.  I need to keep reminding myself to keep going. 

 

 

First off, *HUGS*

 

Secondly, don't beat yourself up over a bag of crisps/sabotaging yourself. It's not sabotaging yourself -- one bag of crisps isn't going to ruin all of your hard work. It's the whole that counts, not the bits and pieces. You ate healthy overall today/yesterday/this week so far, right? You're doing better than most of the general population. :) You are awesome and keep being so!

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I do the same thing, Blaidd. I intentionally make choices I know aren't best for me! I think sometimes it's fun to do something you know you're not supposed to, but I'm doing it at my own expense. *sigh* I think we will get it figured out in the end, at least often enough to make a difference :)

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Oh god I do it too, that's the hardest part of dropping weight. After eating Paleo all week I stood in the supermarket and stared at a twin pack of chocolate eclairs for about 3 mins today while I had the little devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other!! It's not easy to contain it sometimes, fortunately this time I managed it but I did the same thing with some cinnamon swirls a bit further on in the store and managed to resist but only just. The worst of it is I only do it when I'm on my own and no one else will know. It's like getting away with something you're not supposed to do, so stupid and you know exactly what's happening as you're doing it but sometimes you still do it anyway. Weird eh? 

 

I've just read a book from Steve's list about habits, it talks about discovering what the trigger is for the event and then pre-planning the event with some replacement when the trigger occurs. It's an interesting idea and it sort of worked today. I came home with a punnet of blueberries and some dates. Not ideal but better than chocolate eclairs!

 

You're on the right track AB, identifying this stuff and recognising it is a large part of the battle. You're smart, you'll get there.

 

Glad to hear you are feeling better too, don't overdo it though if you're not 100% x

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Speaking of your quote by Marianne Williamson, maybe the better way to think would be to not hate yourself for any reason, especially not a bag of crisps/sabotaging yourself. *sending good thoughts*

honestly i don't hate myself - at least i think I don't.  It's just that i get sooooo incredibly irritated with myself because i always always sabotage myself.  When things are going great, I find a way to ruin it.  I need to change this, cos it's driving me mad. I need to find a small way.  Jax has offered to be my conscience for now and he's doing a great job of it, but I don't want him to have that responsibility.

 

It's good to hear your lungs are doing better. I think I managed to avoid going all the way to bronchitis this time. I've still got a bit of cough but I don't have that itchy burning in my lungs today. 

 

I know just what you mean about the crisps. I haven't been able to figure out why I do it to myself either. A lot of times the things I crave end up not tasting that good but I still have a compulsion to snack on them. I'm doing a little better this week but I'm having a tough time with that stuff too. We'll get it figured out one of these days. *hugs*

glad yours didn't progress.  I think the fault lay in that i didn't get to the doctor before 2 weeks already.  Jax hates it and my mum died cos of her inability to see a doctor, but I don't like the idea of wasting my time (and money) seeing a doctor when I know my body will heal itself in a week.  But i have promised Jax (after a little compromise) that if I'm still the same as I was 7 days prior then I will immediately go to the doctor.  So he's given me 7 days and I've agreed to see a doctor. 

 

Funny thing is that the crisps tasted really good (I hadn't had any in weeks).  I know I can't go cold turkey and I know I can't just cut down (successfully) so I need to find a middle ground.  If I could limit my intake to one mistake a day to start off with then I think I'm getting a win. Think I need to rework my diet related quest for this challenge.

 

First off, *HUGS*

 

Secondly, don't beat yourself up over a bag of crisps/sabotaging yourself. It's not sabotaging yourself -- one bag of crisps isn't going to ruin all of your hard work. It's the whole that counts, not the bits and pieces. You ate healthy overall today/yesterday/this week so far, right? You're doing better than most of the general population. :) You are awesome and keep being so!

Thanks for the encouragement, hun <3

 

The problem is that sabotage isn't a one time thing though.  I wish it was, but it isn't.  I think I need to start evaluating my own self worth here.  Why do i do it to myself?  There has to be a reason and perhaps evaluating my feelings, mindset and life at the time that I do it will go a long way towards correcting it (I certainly don't want any future kids that I have to learn this awful habit, so best I get right on that). :)

 

I do the same thing, Blaidd. I intentionally make choices I know aren't best for me! I think sometimes it's fun to do something you know you're not supposed to, but I'm doing it at my own expense. *sigh* I think we will get it figured out in the end, at least often enough to make a difference :)

It's at our expense indeed.  And it's not like we can use excuses to just wish it away either - we make the choices, we order/pick up the thing that isn't good for us, we make the decision not to go to gym etc.  It's definitely psychology and I feel that for me these challenges are much more a mind over matter thing.  I need to remember that I matter so I should make sure my mind is with me on it.

 

Oh god I do it too, that's the hardest part of dropping weight. After eating Paleo all week I stood in the supermarket and stared at a twin pack of chocolate eclairs for about 3 mins today while I had the little devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other!! It's not easy to contain it sometimes, fortunately this time I managed it but I did the same thing with some cinnamon swirls a bit further on in the store and managed to resist but only just. The worst of it is I only do it when I'm on my own and no one else will know. It's like getting away with something you're not supposed to do, so stupid and you know exactly what's happening as you're doing it but sometimes you still do it anyway. Weird eh? 

 

I've just read a book from Steve's list about habits, it talks about discovering what the trigger is for the event and then pre-planning the event with some replacement when the trigger occurs. It's an interesting idea and it sort of worked today. I came home with a punnet of blueberries and some dates. Not ideal but better than chocolate eclairs!

 

You're on the right track AB, identifying this stuff and recognising it is a large part of the battle. You're smart, you'll get there.

 

Glad to hear you are feeling better too, don't overdo it though if you're not 100% x

I'm surprisingly good in supermarkets.  I don't even go past things I know I'm going to struggle with. It's the corner stores that get me sometimes.  I'm pretty good at contingency plans, but i get bored of something sometimes and then I want all the wrong things, instead of figuring out another plan. I need to work on that other plan.

 

Also I promise I'm still taking it easy.  Waiting for the doc to give me a go ahead before doing anything more strenuous. Promise!!

SWO2Menl.jpg

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Dude, I am totally king of the Self Sabotage.  I do feel like I am recognizing these moments sooner, and am able to start the recovery back to normal quicker.  At least I feel like I am haha.

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honestly i don't hate myself - at least i think I don't.  It's just that i get sooooo incredibly irritated with myself because i always always sabotage myself.  When things are going great, I find a way to ruin it.  I need to change this, cos it's driving me mad. I need to find a small way.  Jax has offered to be my conscience for now and he's doing a great job of it, but I don't want him to have that responsibility.

I know how you feel actually, I've been doing it a lot to myself recently, yesterday I did my body fat calculation and found I'd gained last week and it just blew the whole day for me, I ate waaay too much under the guise of it being our nice relaxing Sunday and I shouldn't have to focus on 'calories' but I knew that I was eating too much. I think we all do it sometimes and I wouldn't worry about Jax having that responsibility for now because maybe after a little time of having the outside conscience whispering in your ear you'll be able to do it yourself a bit better. Anyway back to healthiness ;)

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Dude, I am totally king of the Self Sabotage.  I do feel like I am recognizing these moments sooner, and am able to start the recovery back to normal quicker.  At least I feel like I am haha.

Ah yes, we're all royalty in some way when it comes to that :D I don't want to be royalty in this country thanks. hehe

I know how you feel actually, I've been doing it a lot to myself recently, yesterday I did my body fat calculation and found I'd gained last week and it just blew the whole day for me, I ate waaay too much under the guise of it being our nice relaxing Sunday and I shouldn't have to focus on 'calories' but I knew that I was eating too much. I think we all do it sometimes and I wouldn't worry about Jax having that responsibility for now because maybe after a little time of having the outside conscience whispering in your ear you'll be able to do it yourself a bit better. Anyway back to healthiness ;)

yikes it's hard isn't it. But we just have to keep pushing at it.

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Week 1 Summary

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I also completed the second week of my basics baking course (on cookies) and here are the two batches that we made.

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I love your record keeping! It's so pretty!

 

And those cookies look delicious!!

thanks.  I love to doodle so recording like that is just working for me :D

 

Trust me those cookies tasted goooood!!!  Well the peanut butter bran and oats ones are definitely the yummiest one (I'm not a particular fan of iced cookies, so the others weren't my fave faves).

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W2D1: So many social opportunities

 

I didn't have  too bad a day except that apart from a cookie with my morning tea (mmmm homemade peanut butter, bran and oat cookies rock) and a pack of crisps that my assistant popped onto my desk, I didn't eat til dinner - which was all seafood (think prawns, calamari, squid, cod and mussels).  I was really hungry when we sat down to eat (Jax took me to our favourite seafood haunt to celebrate his excellent month) and I didn't even touch the carbs on the plate all i ate was the seafood. I didn't pig out though, 6 prawns, 8 mussels, a 100gr piece of kingklip (kinda like tilapia) and about 100gr of calamari/squid. Was super full afterwards but really happy full.

 

So last week i was moaning about self sabotaging and it turns out that I might actually have been a little too hard on myself because I actually managed to lose 1.54lbs last week (I'm doing a 20lb PvP with @Endor, @Bekah, @Lolavictrola and some others, so weigh in weekly).  If i can do better this week then I think I'm on the right path :D

 

I still haven't been cleared for my full workout yet, but I'm still did a 20min cycle.  It feels so good to be on the bike.  We had a new staff member join us today, so I got to know her while I spent time training her, then I ran into an old friend (mid twenties) on my way into gym, and even older friend (high school) while cycling and then an even older friend (primary school) on my way home.  So lots of social interaction today. It was nice - lots of happy peoples.

 

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I'm just stopping by to say hi. :)

*waves* HI

 

Yeah, I would have had to enjoy a cookie or two myself I am sure :)

hehe Luckily it''s (extra) sugar free and was pretty healthy. :D

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W2D3: My bestie is in Town!!

 

It was an awesome day.  Our little Peugeot's battery died on Sunday so we had the car repaired today and we're so happy to have her back :D  Mid way through my day, my best guy friend messaged me to say that he was on his way from up country and was waiting for his plane.  I cannot begin to tell you how happy that made me.  But not nearly as happy as actually seeing him - so many hugs!!  We met on the first day of university and have been friends ever since.  Unfortunately once he graduated (2 years later than me cos of his course layout) he moved back up country so we make plans to see each other as often as we can. It works out to about once a year (although because he and Jax share a hometown we've seen each other a little more this year).

 

He's been doing Banting (which really is Paleo) for the past 4 - 5 months and has lost about 20kg.  I'm so glad for him and I understand how he's struggling some days.  But honestly he's looking even better than he did and he's starting to look like he did when we met. He just looks healthy.  I've also convinced him to try oly lifting and am waiting for his follow up :D

 

We went to dinner at a place called Pepenero (an Italian restaurant apparently), but not a single person had pasta or pizza - lol.  I had a gorgeous sirloin with potato and the rest had seafood (I had last night so wasn't as keen). We just had a good time talking and catching up and being awesome together and i eventually crawled into bed after midnight. Luckily it's a bank holiday so I can sleep in.

 

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That sounds like a wonderful time with your friend, I only left University 2 years ago and find it so hard to keep in contact with people since moving away, really good to hear you've managed it and had a good time (I love when I find a friend has started dieting and exercising and gives us something else to bond over too)

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Ah so good to catch up with old friends :)

 

Paleo FTW! 

Indeed!! 

 

I'm so happy you had a great time with a great friend last night!! :)

it is always soooo lovely to see him.  it reminds me every time how much i miss him.

 

Folks still use the term Banting? Learn something new every day.

lol, listen this is still a new and fad type thing in South Africa.  2 years ago when I started eating Paleo everyone thought I was crazy!!  And then when I did my first Whole30 I was even crazier.  Now I'm literally catering for "Banting".  *Sigh*

 

That sounds like a wonderful time with your friend, I only left University 2 years ago and find it so hard to keep in contact with people since moving away, really good to hear you've managed it and had a good time (I love when I find a friend has started dieting and exercising and gives us something else to bond over too)

Funny I've lost track of most of my friends from high school and university but for some reason the two of us never lost contact.  But then again we also ran one of the country's largest student run organisations together, so our friendship was forged over some good ol' times and some really rough trying times.

 

Great time with the friend, and a great dinner.  ... and now I am hungry ;)

it was good!!

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W2D3:  National Braai Day (unofficially)

 

It's a bank holiday today in South Africa and we're celebrating our heritage.  As braaiing (BBQ) is a HUGE part of all cultures here - regardless of your race, gender or religion - we call it the unofficial Braai Day.  Tons of Saffers all over come together and braai (in public and privately). So because my bestie is down, we went through to another college friend's place and had a braai there.  It turns out that she's doing Banting as well and I wanted to bring something along, so I made some Primal salads - a warm one (beetroot, butternut, feta and mint salad with a lemon vinaigrette) and a cold one (greek with honey and olive oil dressing).  Her hubby actually asked me whether I was also doing Banting cos I knew what not to put in the salads and I was like "nope, this is how I always eat" and then explained to him that Paleo has been a part of my life since 2012 already.

 

Then as we're about to leave we realise that my bestie has and his fiance have had a little too much to drink and I had to drive them in their rental to their hotel (which really isn't more than 5min from our place).  I really don't mind this at all but he kept apologising profusely for the inconvenience and saying that I always have his back.  The thing is he would do and has done the same for me, so honestly no inconvenience and that's what friends are for. No one minds being inconvenienced when your safety is an issue - while ok i don't mind, can't speak for everyone else.

 

We also had a new staffer from up country here on product training, so I let her tag along (otherwise she'd have nothing else to do today, being away from her family) and she loves my crazy friends and our exquisite city.  She understood exactly why tons of people move to our city every year. They don't have a Burger King in JHB so she was quite excited to grab some on her last night.  So I had a burger with her (nothing else - i honestly wasn't interested in the fries or soda and just wanted something small on the menu so she wouldn't feel bad). So yeah apart from that and a bagel with cream cheese for brekkie this morning, I had a really good day. I didn't even drink - just one shot of alcohol because I was designated driver (luckily Jax was still a little hung from the night before so decided not to drink and didn't need a designated driver otherwise we might have had a problem with bestie). It was a great day and honestly possibly one of the best I am going to have this challenge (but I stand to be gladly corrected).

 

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Hi hun

 

Hope you enjoyed your bank holidays!  Glad to hear you had fun with your old friend, can't ask for more than that! :)

 

Those biscuits you made look scrummie.  How did you get the personalised writing thing?

 

Well done for resisting temptation and being a good friend to those around you :)

 

Keep being awesome!! xx

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Hi hun

 

Hope you enjoyed your bank holidays!  Glad to hear you had fun with your old friend, can't ask for more than that! :)

 

Those biscuits you made look scrummie.  How did you get the personalised writing thing?

 

Well done for resisting temptation and being a good friend to those around you :)

 

Keep being awesome!! xx

I bought the letterpress cookie cutters (ok Jax bought them as a spoil).  And i love having my friends around :D

 

<3

<3 <3 <3 miss you

 

High five!!

back atcha!!  How's it having hubby back?

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It's been a great weekend.  We chilled out at home on Friday because on Saturday we went to an all day outdoor music festival.  That was a lot of fun and something I haven't done since I was in my early 20s.  I must admit when you're being the designated driver and everyone around you is either just hitting puberty or drunk as a skunk (or both) it's not as fun as it used to be.  I like the music though and having Jax made it better.  Unfortunately there was only festival food and I had a savory pancake for lunch (which was quite yummy), but dinner was a disaster. I ordered fries and a pita with ribs in it and the pita landed up having cabbage in it.  Cabbage makes me gag, literally.  I can't even smell the stuff without wanting to vomit.  So of course I couldn't eat my pita and landed up only having fries.  Which tasted awful. I'd left my card at home on purpose so that I didn't overspend (as can happen) and I had to buy a beanie type thing to keep me warm so much for spring, it was freaking freezing and I wasn't prepared) so I didn't have enough cash to buy something else, my better option would've been a hamburger :(  It's ok I just boiled some eggs when I got home and had those to up my protein intake.

 

Today I baked the two tests for my baking course - a wholewheat loaf and a focaccia. Both things I have never done before and they came out great.  I am about to make a butternut and bacon soup (with the focaccia) for us for supper (and had a cheese and bacon omelette for brunch). I still have some jams left over from my last attempt at canning and I am going to take that and the bread to work with me tomorrow.

 

So snaps from the weekend:

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The wholewheat bread

 

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Feta and Garlic Focaccia

 

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Jax and I at the Festival with my cute bunny beanie hat thing i bought

 

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I really shouldn't be spending money on frivolous things, but seriously R200 for 3 pairs of shoes is a bargainPlus I actually needed the pink ones - i don't have casual sneakers

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