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awesomesue

Crushing 400

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just popping in for good week 6 vibes!

Good luck getting better! I know how hard the waiting part of healing is, hang in there. If you still have lingering symptoms but you feel on the up swing I suggest some easy movement. Instead of running, walk, instead of a cycling workout, a leisurely ride... I don't know how many times I've relapsed because I started up my training too early.

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Finally better but we had so much going on at home.  So much stress and so on.  Looking forward to tackling things next challenge.  Time to get up, dust myself off, and get back on track!  Hard not to be so frustrated with things and lack of control of our diet to a point at the moment among other things.  However I decided to put that frustration to good use.  I have been a lot more creative with coming up with healthy meals that can be stretched.  Also I have been procrastinating on doing some planning and work for myself putting everyone first.  Basically using all that is going on as an excuse to avoid things that make me feel good.  A little depression is natural but dang it, not useful in anyway.  Certainly not letting that settle in...been through it before when I was really hurting during a horrible bout with RA.  That is a road I do not wish to go down again.  Well this morning I am taking time to do stuff for me.  Not able to afford med.'s and with everything I am starting to see early signs of RA.  I feel like I have been dodging that bullet for a couple weeks now.  Not like we can afford dr visit or med's for that if it came to it.  Stinks to have insurance but still can't afford to see a dr.  Over the years insurance at work has declined to the point of wondering why even have it.  Anyway I realized I needed to focus energy/time on myself again to avoid being in a worse situation.  Hopefully it will work and if not I will be better off then sitting passively by.  That way I will be healthy to help my family.  Hopefully in the next week I can get back on my thyroid medication again.  That certainly will help with energy levels.  

 

Yesterday kiddo and I had a bike adventure.  Wow she did amazing.  She rode for 10-12 miles with  playground visits.  She even packed our lunch.  Amazing fall day overall.  She handled her bike really well.  I think she has finally adjusted to hand brakes and a few times asked to go down a steep hill more than once.  Of course I let her since she was having a good time.  

 

On tap for today is catching up with various folks on the forum to see how all are doing, laying down plans for the next few weeks of physical activities, I am a co-lead with Girl Scouts and today we have a wetland clean up planned ( a couple miles of walking), running 2 miles, and biking about 20-25 miles.  Strength training with stretching will also happen.  Cooking up some dried black eyed peas we had soaked over night for dinner in the crockpot, laundry, and walking the dog.  Believe it or not that is not an overly busy day for us.  Oh pumpkin carving is planned and I am so looking forward to roasting up some tasty seeds!  A little maple pepper curry seasoning on them and super yum!  That will be a great treat.

 

Here's to a new week another gorgeous day out!

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Hey suelk!

 

Sounds like you learned a lot about caring for yourself this time round. You seem to have a genuine desire to get to a better place for yourself and it shows in your ability to not go too overboard when times are tough. Things will fall through the cracks - or it wouldn't be called a tough time - but you are looking forward to getting in step with your goals again. Congratulations. Challenges like this are as important as the ones we kick ass on goal-wise.

 

I hope your daughter and you are having a blast being active. Okay so two weeks until our next challenge, let's see what some of your ideas are.

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We had such a blast on our bike ride Saturday.  Sunday it was a great time doing clean up of the neighborhood and river with the Girl Scouts.  The girls had a chance to see where the trash in the neighborhoods end up if we do not pick up.  Plus I got to do some naturalist talks with them while in the woods (I have a BS in Natural Resources, Wildlife Management) so that was cool too.  

 

So I started my next round of training today.  It is 6 weeks planned out.  I am shooting for to following goals for now which will definitely carry into when the challenge begins here again in a couple weeks which will extend some goals longer.

 

1.  I am focusing on food.  I can not entirely control what we have due to our current situation.  What I can control is how it is prepared and my biggest problem is that I eat super fast.  Plus I eat past the point of being full.  So I am going to focus on eating slower and stopping when not hungry.  I always hit a point I do not feel hungry but eat past that then past the point of more than satisfied and end at the point of too much, I could have stopped sooner.  No way to grade this other than being absolutely truthful with myself and just put that darn fork down the minute I feel not hungry.  I never feel better when eating to being super full.  If it happens I will take time to reflect on why/how it happened and learn from it.  Devise strategies if need be to prevent it from happening for that same reason again.  I will not say stopping when satisfied since sometimes out of habit that satisfied sensation hits when I am way too full.  Partly due to eating so fast and partly due to habit.  Equate the feeling of satisfied with being stuffed thinking that will feel good.  Again it never does.  To eat slower I am simply going to take my time chewing my food and say taking a couple breaths between fork fulls.  Yeah it sounds gross but when I watch friends eat and myself I notice we are shoving food right back in our mouths as soon as we swallow the previous bite.  I mean when you have food waiting on your fork before you are even done chewing the last bite I was left wondering just how much can you enjoy what you eat when you are already focused on the next bite.  So I am going to chew a little longer and breath between bites and see if I can extend my meal thus allowing me to stop before I go too far.  Not exactly hard and fast rules or ways to measure but I will know and can be honest enough to say yes I did excellent slowing down and stopping as soon as I noticed I was not hungry anymore.  I feel really good working on this goal...really really good!  I think this will have a huge impact and am looking forward to making progress on this front.

 

2.  I want to see how many miles I can go.  I have not made my distance goals these last two challenges so I am going to see how many miles I can cover.  I am backing off running some.  No not stopping, gosh no, I love running!  I will be running round 20 a week eventually (have to build back up after being off for 3 weeks!).  But what I want to do is complete 75-100 mile bike ride the day after my birthday (birthday is on a Friday, Dec. 5, and I want to do it on that following Saturday).  Pretty excited to work on this for sure.

 

3.  Do a handstand by the end of the next challenge.  It looks fun.  So that means loosing more weight which is going okay (down below 190 finally last week to only pop back over it this week but then again I have not been smart and have issues with missing medications right now that play into metabolism which means it will be a bit more of a challenge but not something I can not work through!) AND staying consistent with strength training.  I want to do a handstand away from the wall.  Ooooo  walking on my hands would be to epitome of cool for me.  So ultimately this one boils down to keep getting stronger!

 

Of course stretching and monitoring my body are always something I work on in order to make sure I do not do something that will hurt my joints.  Keep consuming anti inflammatory foods that have helped me manage RA are a must.  These are part of my day to day consideration with all my crazy awesome plans!  I am smarter now and every 4 weeks during my training I have planned some breaks by decreasing the number of runs or miles on my bike so my body can rest.  Here is to another round of being awesome.  Onward!!!

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I think you have some really great goals for the next challenge. Can't wait to see how things go for you. I have the same problem as you when it comes to eating, for some reason I feel like I have to eat until there isn't anything left. I like you idea of slowing down between bites to take time to breath.  I think I'll add that to what I'm doing.  Good luck next challenge!

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Yesterday fell apart when I got home.  So much going on and emotionally I was beat.  Okay no biggie.  This morning I got up and realized I would not get to ride home but I rode in to work.  I knocked out 16 of my planned 20 miles today.  Legs are a tad tired I have to admit.  Throw in stairs like crazy at work and running should be fun tomorrow.  Tonight I will strength train.  I still am having a hard time not beating myself up for how I let things take me down last night.  

 

On an up note I caught myself eating way too fast more than once last night.  It is amazing how it can happen without realizing it.  I did eat a little slower because of catching myself.  Taking a couple breaths was helpful.  I have had this habit for a long time and it will be a doozy to break but it will be broken.  Breakfast today was better but I can say I still ate too fast and ended up feeling too full later when the dust settled..  Lunches are normally the meal I take the most time eating and find it easiest to walk away and stop when I am no longer hungry.  I was going to ride at lunch but realized riding when I did not need to would have forced me to eat too fast so I will finish out my miles later at home as I strength train.  Ride a mile to warm up and then a mile between each round.  Fun and productive way to fit it all in and still not take away from family.  Speaking of family I mentioned how I was planning this bike ride.  As always they were cool and I appreciate it!  Okay they think I am a little nuts but they already thought that so I am good.

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Wow, you've started your next challenge already? Way to go.

 

Here's to the future!

To the future!  Yeah I am working now due to having about 3 weeks off at the end of the challenge due to illness.

 

Last night caught myself eating way too fast yet again BUT I caught it and slowed down.  However cookies were made available and when everyone else had them I went ahead even though I was not the least bit hungry.  Wish I had not eaten them.  I really did not want them other than the thought "cookies are fun".  Not really especially if they are not homemade.  Just not my thing but again I ate them anyway.  Tonight I will get up and do dishes and decline any offers of cookies.  Why are they tempting?  Funny when you are broke the last thing you need are cookies from a package but there you go I guess.  I did my strength work and finished my 4 miles to get 20 in for the day on my bike.  Legs are a little tired today but it is a good tired.  All I have for today is biking to and from work (total of 10-11 miles) and a short run (2 miles).  I pushed the pace on the way in on my bike and I really enjoyed it.  Was trying to put my heart rate around 125-137 and found that I rode to work thinking it was tougher than what it was apparently.  It used to be but I have ridden for so long what was a challenging ride is much easier.  Again I had fun with it and enjoyed the ride.

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Love the spirit you are blasting around with! You know the criticism is old habits rearing their heads, not wanting change and yet, you have enough self-compassion and drive to keep making the movements in the direction you do want to go in. Fabulous!

 

I'd love to say that the temptations will finish, but it's not likely. More to the point is that you don't need them to go away. You are practicing saying no and forgiving yourself when you eat the way you use to. This is living your truth. There's no magic finish line that will take away the brownies and cakes. There is however a tipping point within you that you are coming closer to every day that will enable you to spend less energy saying no and more energy on experimenting with fun, healthy new things. Just keep doing what you're doing. The war is won, now you just need to finish up a few straggling battles.

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Last night I lost it.  I simply did not care how fast or how much I ate.  Things became rougher at home with our situation.  Now the dumb car is broken and if my husband can not fix it we are out our only vehicle.  Food pantry is saving our backside, we can afford med's, I can not follow up with a scan after having a breast biopsy 5 months ago due to somethings that turned out completely benign.  I have a reason to be stressed and sad right?  Okay folks we do not have cable, subscribe to games or extras besides hulu, have  cell phones (have not had one in ages besides and $5 flip phone for emergencies when out) and we drive a 1989 vehicle.  We keep things simple you know and frankly we like it that way.  Kiddo has outgrown most of her pants.  What is left has holes which being a kid she likes.  LOL  We make most of our foods homemade because we are excellent cooks, enjoy cooking, like to find ways to make things more nutritious, cheaper, and it tastes better. From this point forward complaining and whining about our current strife is done.  I just want others to understand since many have been there at some point.  Friends and family always describe me as resilient.  That is part of my personality or who I am and always have been since I was a child.  I have experienced so much before the age of 10 that well it is interesting to tell my daughter about my childhood and thankfully something she can not fully understand or relate to in any way.  Now this is going to sound entirely ludacris but last night I did not want to be resilient and press on, I did not want to care.  So I fought my own nature and found 20 dumb reasons not to run or care about eating.  It really bothered me.  So fast forward to this morning and again not able to sleep and up at 3:30.  Normally my alarm goes off at 4am so it was not that early.  I did dishes and again decided not to do what I wanted to do which was strength train and ride an additional 10 miles before commuting to work on my bike those beloved 5 miles.  Hating things this morning I headed out on my bike to work.  I love those early morning rides.  More so than the evening commute I get to really think.  I had that "ah ha" moment and I finally understood why I would work against my own nature (being resilient) and desires (improve fitness).  I wanted to be depressed and if I actively deny myself these things, avoid what I want and need to do, go against who I am then I would have a valid reason to beat myself up.  A reason to not be so adept at dealing with the cruddy situation we are in, after all with all the junk going on I can sit and smile even when I feel like crying at some point I still just smile and feel happy.  I can cry and feel sad and frustrated yet once out of my system I am in lets get it done mode and I can laugh and smile and it is entirely sincere.  It is a strange thing.

 

So for tonight I am going take kiddo out trick or treating with a warm cup of peach tea.  We are going to have fun together.  I will check her candy, at the very least strength train, and in the midst of this the husband called and the car is not fixed.  This means he gets to join us for trick or treat instead of going to class.  So breath deep, smile at the good things, and press on.

 

I wanted to also mention that in reading Niannes latest post from her challenge she said the following...

"if I'm going to change my eating habits, it has to be important all day long, not just whenever it's not time for dessert. "  I absolutely love it and know it can be applied to any habits we are trying to improve.  In the end, it has to be important all day long.  Not only when it is convenient or easy.

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Sucks that your car isn't working. I hope that your husband will be able to fix it after all.  From your posts though, I can tell that you are a survivor and will find a way to make it through no matter how tough things get.  I admire that about you, it's awesome that in the midst of all your problems you are able to think of the good things you have, like that your husband will be able to join you for trick or treating.  You are awesome!

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It does stink but you adapt and go on.  So Friday it was 43 and raining for my ride home.  My spouse was concerned and willing to risk the overheating car to come get me even if we had to stop to let it cool.  LOL  He also said if I insisted on riding I would have a mug of hot chocolate waiting for me.  Okay I will not pass up hot chocolate so I laughed and reminded him that I ran my half marathon is worse weather and was out longer than my ride would be coming home.  If the roads where bad enough walking my bike was okay in my mind.  Safety first of course and if it is too wet and cold then walking would keep my drier but then you have the whole riding gets me there quicker.  LOL  I did have to walk it some but I only got home 15 minutes later than normal and enjoyed that warm mug of hot chocolate!  Ironically my daughter had an event (The Empty Bowl Project) with her scout troop on Saturday which paid for all the girls to attend.  If you do not know about these guys check them out.  It is cool in my opinion.  They were supporting the food bank that supports the pantry we have used.  She picked out an amazing bowl and has since decided to give it to her music teacher at school because she thought she would love it.  It has music notes all around it.  

 

Today is laundry and a 40 mile bike ride.  I do not feel so motivated at the moment but I will get it done and be happy about doing it.  Also ample stretching and range of motion work since some joints are stiffening up.  Not sure if my legs will let me do strength training after the ride but if I do it early enough and then ride I should get it done no worries.  Do a round, work on a laundry load, do a round, knock out dishes, do a final round, clean the bathroom, and then do the bonus work before lunch and then going to the scout training I have to attend as a volunteer/asst. leader.  On my ride home I will knock out 25 miles and then do the rest on the exercise bike.  That is my game plan anyway and I think it will work without ending up too sore and allowing me to get it all done and still have tons of fun doing it.  

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It was a good Sunday.  I did not get all the bike miles in though.  I was tired and my husband suggested I consider not trying to do the 100 mile bike ride so soon.  Okay he suggested nicely I take longer on the training.  He knows me, our situation, and my health so well so I need to trust what he is saying.  LOL  ssshhhh don't tell him....ha ha ha.  Been married 20 years so I think it is safe to say he knows me pretty well.  I think part of it he knows I am stubborn and with all that is going on and the approaching holidays where we will do most all the cooking and so on he does not want me to over extend myself.  So if it is gets too much I will take more time on training to ride 100.  On tap today....doctor visits (they agreed to see me for follow ups despite us not being able to pay outside of insurance at the moment....yay!), voting, strength work, and a run.  Play it by ear as to how many miles.  Basically I will do what feels good.  Weather is surprisingly mild today so I am looking forward to it.  May do a couple miles on the exercise bike.  The only thing that has me stressed is getting to the appointments.  I will get there it will just be very slow going.  So all is good for today!  Time to go work on breakfast and attack the day.

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I have to agree that after 20 years he should know your abilities pretty well.  How much is he wanting you to push the 100 mile ride back by? 

Give myself another 4-8 weeks.  I have to agree.  My body is telling me to be smart too and when I want to be stubborn and ignore things after deciding I am going to do it he notices the signs and reminds me gently.  Looking forward to it for sure.

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