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Mad Hatter takes a chill pill


Mad Hatter

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*poke* :D

Raptron, alot assassin

6564636261605958 575655545352515049484746454443424140393837363534333231302928272625242322212019181716151413121110987 | 6 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 1

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Ummm hi....

 

Yeah...

 

I have to confess I kind of lost the plot... And I didn't want to admit it to anyone that I'm struggling so my brain decided that hiding would be the best course of action... :(

 

But I miss you and I'm going to stop hiding and come clean. In spoilers because it's just a feeling-sorry-for-myself-for-no-real-reason rant.

 

In short it got dark outside and depression snuck up on me when I wasn't paying attention. I feel completely drained and it's a battle to get anything done. I've been thinking a lot about progress in life and fitness and had a bit of a breakdown because I'm at pretty much the same or worse place that I was six months or a year ago. The well-timed NF article about commitment, or lack thereof, didn't help. And I keep falling into terrible eating habits which I know only makes me feel worse. I also keep coming back to the question whether it's actually possible for me to change...

Then last week I had a few really bad climbing sessions which made feel really irrationally shitty about myself. On my last session I whacked my thumb really hard and sprained it and since then I've basically been sitting on the couch doing fuck all, fluctuating between sad and relieved that I have an excuse to do nothing. I also feel terrible and selfish for hiding and not supporting you and my family, I know some of you are going through a lot right now. Sorry.

 

Now I know that this will go away, it always does. And it's not even bad relatively speaking. It just caught me by surprise, I didn't even recognise the symptoms even though it happens more or less every year and usually in the winter...

 

Anyways. Challenge! Yeah... Nope.

 

On the plus side I have a short trip to Paris planned which I'm super excited about! 

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epic-hugs-friends-hunger-games.gif

 

It's really easy to hide when the things are not good, but we're glad you popped in to let us know how you are doing. Sorry it is a dark place. Seasonal changes are really hard and they do sneak up on you -- it must be even worse there with the higher latitude in terms of sunrise/sunset. Change is always possible and you know that, but telling yourself it might not be possible for you gives you an excuse to keep on keeping on instead of doing the Different Thing. The dark place makes it so much easier to just go along with the flow. We <3 you though, and even if you get stuck in the dark places for a while, you can make changes and make new habits and we'll always be here for you along the way. 

 

Have fun in Paris! I hope it shines a light for you and helps take some of the creeping shadows away. 

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Raptron, alot assassin

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Love you Hatter.

 

All of life's obstacles can't be tackled in a single moment, so just do small things that make you feel good. Focus on the positives.

 

Paris should be awesome. Just remember to breathe and put one foot in front of the other and I'm sure you will be okay.

I'm a time traveler, but I can only go one way and only a second at a time.

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SAD is tough.  Is there any way you could get outside in the late morning or early afternoon to catch a bit of sunshine?  It's really awful when all of your sunlight hours coincide with your work hours, so you can't soak up any sunlight.

 

I'm not sure if this is the case, but you sound pretty burned out and seem to be stuck in a burned out-failure loop.  You plan to exercise, but can't get motivated, so you feel like a failure.  You force yourself to exercise and have a crappy session, so you feel like a failure.  All of that negativity just builds on itself and becomes even worse.  Maybe a planned rest week, where you're not failing by skipping your classes or climbing sessions, but rather you're choosing to rest, heal, and get back in the right headspace would really help. 

 

I hope Paris helps you recharge your batteries a bit.  Take care.  :)

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Level 30? who the hell knows anymore? Direwolf Assassin/Ranger - current challenge

 ACL rehab thread      2016 parkour

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handbalancing: crow, flying crow, side crow, crow->headstand->crow  Bo staff: strikes 1 2 3, spins 1 2

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sometimes things creep on you out of no where and they build up and build up in the back of your mind (sometimes in the forefront) and start to make you feel shit before you even realise it, then suddenly something changes, like the dark nights and it is like lighting a match to it all and it is just over whelming

 

I had my own version of this to, and I know there is nothing I can do to help other than to let you know that like everyone else I'm here with you for the ride, ups and downs

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*hugs* I totally empathize with you, I've been MIA for a few weeks while feeling pretty bummed about how things are going. Thank you for sharing how you were feeling, it helped me feel like I wasn't the only one. It's harder to deal with when you feel like you're the only one feeling this way. I hope you feel better soon!! Two weeks to a new challenge!!

The Introverted Goddess

Level 5 || STR 9 || DEX 6 || STA 6 || CON 12 || WIS 13 || CHA 7

 

Current Challenge: The Introverted Goddess is......

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Ahh, Hatter :( I'm generally very optimistic but know too well the feeling of just everything being shit and worthless. For me, it's usually when some secret tiredness has crept up on me... then when I catch up on rest, everything is magically rosy again.

 

From reading your last few weeks of posts, you've had a difficult stuff:rest ratio (in a good way, because you've been doing exciting things), but might be causing your general feeling of despair.

 

Either way, hopefully you'll be feeling more positive soon :) Rest in the same hardcore way that you often train!

Level 25 Cyborg Assassin

[ STR 36.75 | DEX 26.00 | STA 28.00 | CON 31.25 | WIS 29.25 | CHA 24.50 ]

current 5-week challenge: March 2020

external websites with my resources for...

fitness & breathwork | mental math & mind sports | motivation & productivity

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Lucky you, Hatter, it's Free Hug Day 
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Let us know if you need anything.  

Level 2 Warforged Druid

STR: 2, DEX: 1, STA: 3, CON: 3, WIS: 2, CHA: 3

"If these people tell this story to their children as they sleep; then maybe someday they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he is free."

Good night and joy be to you all ~Jitters The. Clown

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Awww Hatter I'm sorry :( I completely understand as this happened to me a few challenges ago.  And a few challenges before that, and before that as well.  In fact, probably most of my challenges have ended in me hiding away and feeling like a failure.  It really sucks, especially this time of year. I've had a good one this last time around and I think it's because I've taken it a lot easier, gone a lot easier on myself mentally, and also found a balance between trying-too-hard, not-trying-hard-enough, and not feeling bad about myself for either of those things. It was really hard for me to find that balance, but everyone has one. It really helped me to look at my goals in a different way, completely switch things up to something I thought would never work.  Just my 2 cents :)

 

But we're always here for you no matter what and you're definitely not failing or doing anything wrong.  As others have said it does sound like you're burning yourself out a bit. Take it easy and know you're awesome and can still do amazing bendy things that I am totally jealous of :D

 

And on to the most important part...

 

epic-hugs-monsters-inc.gif

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Hey everyone, I've crawled out of my hiding hole. :) I know I just kind of disappeared and didn't say a word but I did read your comments and they really, really helped. Thanks so much for being here for me. And the hugs. I like hugs. 

 

The past weeks/months have been kind of turbulent, it went from ok to bad to worse to awesome to stable (I hope). Paris was lovely, I think I really needed to get away for a few days. I had lots of tasty food and wine and cake, walked around a lot, bought some pretty things and I met up with Nuala for beer and climbing! (Thanks for that, I had a great time! And the trip back went super smoothly, didn't even get lost once ;)) I feel inspired again and ready for action. I realise my energy levels are still not on top, but I still wanted to do a challenge and it's right here. :) But now it's bed time so catching up will have to wait until tomorrow. Good night!

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Mad Hatter is back! Happy that your break seemed to help somewhat :) Your threads are an inspiration to anyone who finds themselves sitting around wasting their time, since you do exactly the opposite lol

Level 25 Cyborg Assassin

[ STR 36.75 | DEX 26.00 | STA 28.00 | CON 31.25 | WIS 29.25 | CHA 24.50 ]

current 5-week challenge: March 2020

external websites with my resources for...

fitness & breathwork | mental math & mind sports | motivation & productivity

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