Ryoko’s Second Quest: Building a Ranger, Volume I – Laying the Foundation

[Kobnach]

I'm so sorry about your dog. Loads of sympathy from me. Poor thing, but at least he had a good long time on earth. Wishing you lots of strength for dealing with this.

[blkhole24601]

Misc

When I got home from work today, I took my dog out for a walk. He did his business and was fine, and when we came in, his back legs just...stopped working. He couldn't stand upright, couldn't support himself. I tried to give him some banana and he couldn't chew it (the first time this has ever happened). He's an older guy - he turned 16 last month - and has been going downhill these past few years (most especially this year). He has arthritis and is completely deaf. Often I need to carry him because he doesn't want to walk. He pretty much sleeps all day. The vet confirmed he has a brain tumor on our last visit in May. Although his appetite is fine and he still gets excited and runs around from time to time - so he's not all bad.  I got him when he was four weeks old - he has been with me for almost half of my life. He is my gem, my heart. And he is my priority right now, above anything else.

 

I have really been struggling with determining if/when to put him down. I certainly don't want to keep him around if he's in pain, or has no quality of life, but at the same time, I don't want to cut his time short if he still has energy left and is otherwise doing okay. But this afternoon, when I saw him in such bad shape, dragging his back legs around on the floor, not being able to eat, I knew in my heart it was time. I took him to the vet and got him some emergency medicine to last for the next three days. (My regular vet was gone for the night but will be in tomorrow). 

 

In my post from this morning, I said that I knew today was going to be a great day. I've known this time was coming for a while now in regards to my dog, and I suppose part of me was in denial. But not anymore. I didn't think little guy was going to make it home with me, it was awful - I was crying and scared. I will be making the toughest phone call of my life in the morning. But I have at least one more night to spend with him. And THAT is what makes this a truly great day indeed.   

 

 

*HUGS!!!!!!!!* I'm so sorry about your pup!! Losing a pet is never easy, but it's good that you know you're making the right choice. We're here for you, for whatever comfort that might be. <333333

[aeshnidae]

My heart goes out to you and your dog. We worry about our old girl a lot lately so I've played this type of thing out in my mind more times than I care to admit to and it hurts each time.

 

^This is me, too, so I understand. Ryoko, I am so, so sorry. I wish I could say something to make it better. You're in my thoughts. (((hugs)))

[LiserFrenche]

I am so sorry on the loss of your dog...(((Hugs)))  I am thinking of you. 

[Xena]

So sorry to hear about your dog. It sounds like you have had many wonderful years together. Get through the next couple days the best you can.

[RxLady]

Oh Ryoko! I am so sorry to hear about your dog.  That hits very close to home as a dog owner and lover myself, and making that choice is one of the hardest things we will ever do as a pet owners.  I hope you two can enjoy the time you do have and know that we are here for talking or venting or sharing... whatever we can do to help!  Take care of you! 

[Ryoko]

It is definitely one of the harder choices to make, but it seems like you have a great attitude and approach.  Enjoy your time!

 

Thank you, forkboy - I did enjoy my remaining time with him.

 

Oh.......-hugs tight-

 

I'm so sorry. Are you living alone? Do you have someone you can talk to and cry with? I'm really, truly sorry. You must be feeling all sorts of emotions right now. Helplessness, anger, sorrow, fear...just to name a few. Please PM me if you need me to do anything for you. You can call me if you need to, I'll give you my number. I lost my angel cat over the summer, I got him when I was 5 and he was just a few weeks old. I completely understand your position right now...it's so, so hard. But we can't keep them past their time, that's selfish and cruel. You gave him an amazing life and you are doing the kindest thing for him.

 

Thank you so much, Ciara.. ((((())))

 

I really appreciate it - and I'm sorry for you own loss. I do live on my own, but thankfully my family is all nearby, so they were able to be with my today. I so appreciate your offer to call. It means a lot. 

 

Ryoko, I'm so so sorry to hear about your dog. Losing a pet is heart wrenching, my thoughts are with you. I really hope you enjoy your last day with him. Give him all the hugs and treats you can and just know that you are doing the right thing for him.

 

Virtual hugs coming your way.  

 

Thank you - I definitely kept those thoughts in my head. I really appreciate your support!  

 

I'm so sorry about your dog.  They are great friends and that makes it even more terrible that they don't live as long.  I wish you and your companion the best and hope whatever your decision that you two are happy till the end.  We'll be here for you if you need support.

 

Thank you, jaex. They are indeed great friends - it's a blessing to have them in our lives. Thank you so much for your thoughts and support. It means a lot. ^.^

[Ryoko]

My heart goes out to you and your dog. We worry about our old girl a lot lately so I've played this type of thing out in my mind more times than I care to admit to and it hurts each time.

 

Thank you - I've been thinking about this for quite a while now. I just didn't expect it to go down so quickly. Your girl is in my thoughts as well. ^.^

 

Oh Ryoko, I am so sorry about your pup... That is incredibly hard, and I'm sending you all the virtual strength I can to get through this.

 

He had a great life and a wonderful companion, who did right by him through to the end. *hugs*

 

Thank you so much Fonzico - he did have an amazing 16 years! He was certainly a little firecracker. ((()))

 

I'm so sorry about your dog. Loads of sympathy from me. Poor thing, but at least he had a good long time on earth. Wishing you lots of strength for dealing with this.

 

Thank you, Kobnach. I truly appreciate the support. ^.^

 

*HUGS!!!!!!!!* I'm so sorry about your pup!! Losing a pet is never easy, but it's good that you know you're making the right choice. We're here for you, for whatever comfort that might be. <333333

 

Thank you so much! It's more comforting than you can imagine. Just reading the words.  

[Ryoko]

^This is me, too, so I understand. Ryoko, I am so, so sorry. I wish I could say something to make it better. You're in my thoughts. (((hugs)))

 

Thank you, aeshnidae! Just your supportive words alone help. Really.  

 

I am so sorry on the loss of your dog...(((Hugs)))  I am thinking of you. 

 

Thank you! That means a lot. 

 

So sorry to hear about your dog. It sounds like you have had many wonderful years together. Get through the next couple days the best you can.

 

Thank you, Xena. We certainly did have a great run, together. I appreciate your thoughts.  

 

Oh Ryoko! I am so sorry to hear about your dog.  That hits very close to home as a dog owner and lover myself, and making that choice is one of the hardest things we will ever do as a pet owners.  I hope you two can enjoy the time you do have and know that we are here for talking or venting or sharing... whatever we can do to help!  Take care of you! 

 

Thank you so much! Yes it was so hard. I struggled with it for so long, so I suppose in a way this was a good thing as it finally forced me to make the decision - at this point there was no more question. I really appreciate your understanding.  

[Ryoko]

~ Another Comrade Has Fallen ~

 

This morning I laid to rest to the jewel of my heart. While it was to be expected as he was 16 years old, it was very much unexpected that today would be his final day. I thought I had at least another couple of months with him - I was hopeful he would be here for the holidays. At any rate, I'm thrilled he made it to his birthday last month, and I'm incredibly grateful that I got to spend one last night with him. What a blessing.

 

This morning we drove to the vet; it was relatively quick but incredibly painful (for me, not him). After the vet I drove him to get cremated, which was about a 2.5 hour procedure and ~ 45 minutes away. So I was dealing with this pretty much all day. I saw all of your messages earlier, and I can't thank you enough for the support. I am really touched. Words can't even begin to express what I'm feeling like right now.

 

I'm going to try very hard not to let this affect my training, but it's going to be difficult. Unfortunately I don't have the time to put my training on hold as my next triathlon is in less than 4 weeks. I wish I was able to take a break. But perhaps the training will help to alleviate the grief. 

 

Today I thought quite a bit about my favorite poem, and how much it applies to this situation. I kept reciting it to myself, and I think it actually helped a bit since I could relate it so well to what I was feeling. It's one of the few poems I actually have memorized - it sure came in handy!

 

Nothing Gold Can Stay

by Robert Frost

 

Nature’s first green is gold, 

Her hardest hue to hold. 

Her early leaf’s a flower; 

But only so an hour. 

Then leaf subsides to leaf. 

So Eden sank to grief, 

So dawn goes down to day. 

Nothing gold can stay. 

 

Here he is about a month ago, looking all dapper in his bow tie that a friend handmade for him:

 

 

Jubei

 

August 11, 1998 - September 18, 2014

[MaD MaLKaV]

I'm very sorry for your loss.

[Edigo]

I'm sorry for your loss, bg hug to you.

Give yourself permission to grieve, he was a friend and family member and you deserve the pause for a day or 2. Sending you a wave of love and courage.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Ciara]

I'm sorry for your loss, bg hug to you.

Give yourself permission to grieve, he was a friend and family member and you deserve the pause for a day or 2. Sending you a wave of love and courage.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I agree. You owe it to yourself to take even a day to reflect on what happened and process it. If you power through with training without letting it sink in, it will eventually manifest when you aren't ready for it. Take care of your heart as much as you're taking care of your body, it's so important.

[aeshnidae]

I hope that your training will help with the grief. Several years ago, when I was dealing with some terrible situational depression, I found that doing push-ups was very helpful. If I felt like I was going to lose it at work, I'd drop and do 20 push-ups. Thankfully I had an office with a door, otherwise my coworkers may have thought I'd lost it anyway (although it was Colorado, so maybe not, Coloradoans are always suddenly stopping to do fitness-y things). 

 

[Balthazar]

I'm so sorry Ryoko

[Shello]

Oh dear, Ryoko.  SO sorry for what you are going through.  I'm glad you have support and you need to do whatever works for you.  Your morning runs in particular might be a good thing to get your training in and get a chance to think, not think, remember, not remember...   and of course a day of tow of rest will be fine.  We all know how awesome you really are. 

 

*HUGS*

[Hiroro]

So sorry for your loss Ryoko, that is such an adorable photo. This is definitely one of those times when you don't have to force yourself to keep up training; since you've been on such a great track your fitness/skills can handle it. 

[Yllek]

I'm sorry for your lost.  I'm never sure what to say here, because I've gone through this and it's so hard to find a way to feel better after loosing your companion, and a family member.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[RxLady]

I'm so sorry about the loss of your dog.  He was such a handsome buddy.  I hope you give yourself some time to mourn and know that taking care of yourself comes first.  Do take care. 

[caolan]

I'm very sorry for your loss, but I am happy that you got so many years of companionship and joy with him.  

[DarK_RaideR]

At a loss of words. Hugs and condolences to you

[NicTheRugger]

 

~ Another Comrade Has Fallen ~

 

This morning I laid to rest to the jewel of my heart. While it was to be expected as he was 16 years old, it was very much unexpected that today would be his final day. I thought I had at least another couple of months with him - I was hopeful he would be here for the holidays. At any rate, I'm thrilled he made it to his birthday last month, and I'm incredibly grateful that I got to spend one last night with him. What a blessing.

 

This morning we drove to the vet; it was relatively quick but incredibly painful (for me, not him). After the vet I drove him to get cremated, which was about a 2.5 hour procedure and ~ 45 minutes away. So I was dealing with this pretty much all day. I saw all of your messages earlier, and I can't thank you enough for the support. I am really touched. Words can't even begin to express what I'm feeling like right now.

 

I'm going to try very hard not to let this affect my training, but it's going to be difficult. Unfortunately I don't have the time to put my training on hold as my next triathlon is in less than 4 weeks. I wish I was able to take a break. But perhaps the training will help to alleviate the grief. 

 

Today I thought quite a bit about my favorite poem, and how much it applies to this situation. I kept reciting it to myself, and I think it actually helped a bit since I could relate it so well to what I was feeling. It's one of the few poems I actually have memorized - it sure came in handy!

 

Nothing Gold Can Stay

by Robert Frost

 

Nature’s first green is gold, 

Her hardest hue to hold. 

Her early leaf’s a flower; 

But only so an hour. 

Then leaf subsides to leaf. 

So Eden sank to grief, 

So dawn goes down to day. 

Nothing gold can stay. 

 

Here he is about a month ago, looking all dapper in his bow tie that a friend handmade for him:

 

 

Jubei

 

August 11, 1998 - September 18, 2014

 

Oh my goodness, Ryoko. I am so sorry for your loss. Having animals in our lives is both a blessing and a burden, because we love them so much and they bring so much to our lives, that it hurts when they must leave us. Big hugs being sent your way!! <('.')> (that is me, giving you a hug)

 

I'm sorry for your loss, bg hug to you.

Give yourself permission to grieve, he was a friend and family member and you deserve the pause for a day or 2. Sending you a wave of love and courage.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I agree completely. Grieving is a necessary part of life, and there is nothing wrong with taking a day or two to grieve and take time off from this. 

[Elisha]

 

~ Another Comrade Has Fallen ~

 

This morning I laid to rest to the jewel of my heart. While it was to be expected as he was 16 years old, it was very much unexpected that today would be his final day. I thought I had at least another couple of months with him - I was hopeful he would be here for the holidays. At any rate, I'm thrilled he made it to his birthday last month, and I'm incredibly grateful that I got to spend one last night with him. What a blessing.

 

This morning we drove to the vet; it was relatively quick but incredibly painful (for me, not him). After the vet I drove him to get cremated, which was about a 2.5 hour procedure and ~ 45 minutes away. So I was dealing with this pretty much all day. I saw all of your messages earlier, and I can't thank you enough for the support. I am really touched. Words can't even begin to express what I'm feeling like right now.

 

I'm going to try very hard not to let this affect my training, but it's going to be difficult. Unfortunately I don't have the time to put my training on hold as my next triathlon is in less than 4 weeks. I wish I was able to take a break. But perhaps the training will help to alleviate the grief. 

 

Today I thought quite a bit about my favorite poem, and how much it applies to this situation. I kept reciting it to myself, and I think it actually helped a bit since I could relate it so well to what I was feeling. It's one of the few poems I actually have memorized - it sure came in handy!

 

Nothing Gold Can Stay

by Robert Frost

 

Nature’s first green is gold, 

Her hardest hue to hold. 

Her early leaf’s a flower; 

But only so an hour. 

Then leaf subsides to leaf. 

So Eden sank to grief, 

So dawn goes down to day. 

Nothing gold can stay. 

 

Here he is about a month ago, looking all dapper in his bow tie that a friend handmade for him:

 

 

Jubei

 

August 11, 1998 - September 18, 2014

 

Aww I'm so so sorry. That is a beautiful poem for him and he does look so handsome in that photo. 

That really is one of the hardest decisions to make, but it sounds like you made it at the right time.  (((hugs)))) 

 

[cn3wton]

Ryoko so sorry to hear what you are going through.

 

Your an amazing person, and I am sure he had an amazing life with you.

[Aces3000]

Ryoko, I am sorry for your loss. It's been difficult I'm sure. I hope you give yourself time to grieve. We're definitely thinking about you. You are a bright spot in this amazing NF community!