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W6 D2

 

Not sure what to say about today. It was harder than the previous days since my Skyfall Revelation. I'm physically sore from all the hiking and food and I aren't matching up well today.

 

I did cook an acorn squash (thanks Heidi!), but lo and behold, I didn't like it all that much. But at least there's food in me now. Perhaps next time, I'll do pumpkin or spaghetti squash or butternut. Not giving up, especially now that I know it's so damn easy (thank you again Heidi! lol).

 

So off to bed I go. I get to have lunch with a nerd tomorrow! Yay!

 

eat:

carrot larabar

5 or 6 bites of a horribly mislabeled ravioli

2 hotdogs that were kosher but too greasy to enjoy

3 pieces of banana bread

 half of an acorn squash

3 tbsp of peanut butter

some water, but I need to get back into my routine again

 

workout/BW:

2 hikes in the rain

some mobility

 

home:

nada

 

writing:

biz plan and emotional free write

 

My bladder issue is really stressing me. Kegels ain't cutting it.

 

 

 

Tuesday's To-Dos

feed dog at 7am & hike at 7:30am -- done!

breakfast -- done!

qigong class at 9am -- nope, bailed sore back

mobility work at 10am -- some but not enough

shower at 11am -- done!

lunch -- done!

dog hike at 3:30pm & feed dog at 4:30pm -- done!

dinner -- sort of

also did the following

groomed dog

worked on biz plan

got a list started for Spartan Sprint in 3 1/2 weeks! WOOT

talked with a friend

worked on a few photos

tried to fix pellet stove, but no luck

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What did you put on the squash when it was done? A little butter and salt make a huge difference, but if it's not you're thing, we will find something else. Never fear.

via smoke signals from my Fire

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I was driving home from White River Jct and the songs came on in that order. It was pretty amazing to go through the transition from sadness to joy.

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W6 D3

 

eat:

pesto chicken sandwich and 1 piece of bread, and water - in WRJ with Nerd pal.

blueberry larabar and water

margherita pizza and water

 

workout:

2 hikes in the rain with the dog

small amount of mobility

 

home:

nada

 

writing:

nada

 

Wednesday

feed dog at 6am & hike at 6:30am -- done!

quick snack -- larabar

VA appt at 8:30am -- cancelled

lunch with Nerd at 11am -- done!

dog hike at 3:30pm & feed dog at 4:30pm -- done!

dinner -- done!

will be really tired this eve -- went to bed early-ish

I went shopping to some avail.

Bailed on laundry

Filled dishwasher

Cleaned sink out

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W6 D4

 

eat:

blueberry larabar and water

curry chicken with rice and water (nom nom) and water

boston baked beans and 3/4 of a gala apple and water

 

workout:

2 hikes with dog missed most of the rain! - but she started a fight with a small young dog. Pissed me right off. She is really unpredictable.  She has been great up until now, better than last time. She greets me at the door instead of running away, she follows commands more consistently, and she seems genuinely happy. And then, bam!

 

home:

nada

 

writing:

planning on some biz plan writing tonight.

 

I have been a little lax with my goals this time around. Things are going well, but they're not really progressing. I think I'm okay with it!?!?! lol I know, right. But consistency can be made at this level and it will give me a steady place to leap from when the next wave of change comes. Which of course will be soon, but I just don't know when.

 

Been thinking about my next challenge a little bit. I want to write and draw. I want to clean and run. I want to make my spirit room and use it regularly. And I want to do push ups and a more significant amount of mobility. So, I will run that through the hopper and see what comes of it.

 

Last push!!! 3 days left!!!

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W6 D5

 

eat:

pineapple chicken with rice, red peppers, and those flat potato-like things in chinese food (watercress, maybe?) - yes (I want to make this)

whole chicken breast, baked lays with french onion dip, and water

 

workout:

nothing

 

home:

nada

 

write:

biz work, no creative stuff

 

To-Do:

work on biz plan -- nope

record expenses & incomes -- half done

write on Rydae story -- nope

pack up a bit from gig (ends on Sunday) -- done

laundry possibly -- nope

oh and eat something! -- done

 

Started out usual and by midday I was feeling pretty good about my level of accomplishment paperwork-wise.

Then the afternoon hike happened. Damn dog ran off, probably after a deer, but I didn't see anything. It took about 15 to 20 minutes for her to come back and from a direction she couldn't have started out on. My voice is rough now from calling her and blowing the damn whistle. She's fine although we are still working out dumb burdocks!

So, I ran (drove) to the store to get food to make me happy. My nerves were up high thinking she wouldn't come back before dark or if she tangled with the dogs that attached her last year on the same hill. I got the chicken and chips and dip and some other things and got back to the house and scarfed down the chicken and had plenty of chips and dip.

Then I tried to relax by watching some TV. Didn't help so I played a game on my phone. Then a text came through and it confused me at first. "How did she do?" What? OH FUCK!!! I forgot to let out and feed a dog this evening. DAMN IT!!! I texted them back, groveling and all, but I haven't heard back from them. I completely understand if they're pissed. I would be. Somehow I doubt they'll want me for tomorrow but if they do, at least I won't be charging them.

 

Oh joy! fuck fuck fuck...

 

Now how do I get out of this funk? I've never been good at this part, ya know, the forgiving yourself for making a mistake, doing something stupid, or in this case, not doing anything. I can feel my jaw has tightened and I'm certain a headache is close at hand. Damn. 

 

EDIT: Little dog got fed and walked, at 8pm, but it got done. Trying to shed the guilt. It's easier than it's ever been before. Hearing myself say it out loud to someone makes a difference. I see why people say, just say it and get it off your chest. It is soooo much smaller than in my head! The dog only ate 3 hours later than normal. And when I got there, she was fine. And when I left she was content. So, job done. I'm getting the hang of this living thing.

 

P.S. I love phone conversations. Didn't use to but these ones lately, quite enjoyable.

Edited by Terinatum

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Sounds like you have a busy day planned!

 

Well, planned, yes. Doing it, meh, not so much. I finally had a low key walk (not hike) with the dog this morning and it feels good to be awake but not going 60 mph.

So, I'm working on challenge stuff (this one and the next), and then I'll tackle the list above.

EIther way, it should be a good day.

Enjoy your evening, cromana!

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So looks like...

I'll be passing the cooking/eating new things goal with an A

I'll also get an A for BW exercises if I include the hikes

I will get an F for the gym goal, but it makes sense. I need to redo this grading system.

I got a D for home stuff, but an B with writing included at 1/2 a point each

 

So actually did better than I remembered. It's a good thing I can go back and 'see' my accomplishments on here. Life saver, really.

 

Onto the bathroom and then biz work!

See ya!

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W6 D6

 

eat:

carrot cake larabar and water

chicken and bbq sauce with beets, and water

shaved beef with cheddar, tomatoes, spinach, and red peppers, maple walnut toast with butter, and water

5 tbsp of peanut butter and water

 

workout:

1 short-ish dog hike

 

home:

nada

 

write:

below. Not sure about much with this one. Definitely a free write, but I like that it has intrigue. So much so, I don't even know what's going on!

 

Today was good, but I'm so exhausted, I can't move much beyond the absolute necessities. I visited with a friend today who called me up and didn't ask for anything as is his usually want. It was nice. It was about both of us and we shared like good kids in a preschool.

I had to take the dog to the vet this morning as I couldn't be certain if she had a tick in her lip. I needed help getting it out. It was not a tick, awesome!

 

 

 

Free Write: Rydae is the same character from before named Ridie. I changed her name, I like it better. Enjoy.

 

The hot malt was more than she had asked for. But one does their best to keep the peace in this particular establishment. The windows were yellow with smoke and grime, never having the experience of elbow grease. The chairs were an old plastic, more like rubber. The checkered designs, put on everything, were of different sizes and discoloration. The closer you go to the back room, however, the cleaner the diner got, until at last, you stood in the private room. Reserved for congress folk and any other political type, Rydae wasn't interested in staying long. Too many secrets get loose in this room and this secret could not afford any more attention than it got last night.

 

She fiddles with her shirt buttons and keeps an eye on the one window. No one ever came through the doorway, not anyone of interest anyhow. Rydae had just glided in without so much as a by-your-leave. The diner patrons were chin deep in the gravy covered special of the day. The window is sort of camouflaged from the outside. If you didn't know it was there, you may walk by without ever considering the possibility. The street art helped a lot. The rivals were in the middle of another tag war. You could only smell paint and stone dust when you came to this part of town.

 

The politicians that used this place weren't shady, not really. They were working with the underground folks who ran more than their fair share of the puppets in government. So they got the laws whittled down enough that medicine and food and weapons could flow more freely among the lower levels of the station. No one would be surprised if the arrangement was officially discovered. But eyes were paid to look in more suitable area of life, creating havoc on the ground families. Rydae's father still worked the farm to which he paid forty five percent of his profit to the council in exchange for what? Jarring roads, intermittent train schedules, and hospitals with a 36 hour emergency wait list.

 

When skirmishes broke out on ground, or below, the station would be knee-deep in funerals and illegal body dumps. The mob was ever grateful for the mass graves. After the urchins robbed the bodies so it was almost impossible to id the folks in the grave unless they were marked. Those were few these days as most of the machinery and computers reconfigured and designated for war use only. They needed bodies, not names. Fighting for thirty-five years is too much for any civil war.

 

"How can I be of service, Miss… Oh, it's you." The voice was familiar, but it sounded thin and tired.

"Hello Marten."

"Ah. Rydae. You made it back planet-side. How encouraging." Marten seemed genuinely happy which made Rydae more nervous.

"What is happening that you are so glad to see me?" She probes without tact or emotion. The last two years have stolen many things from her.

"Surely you know about the raid on our fleet hangers? Sixteen ships vandalized and five were destroyed beyond repair. Sand and corrosive jelly were used abundantly. Savages." His voice went nasty almost without thought. Generations of teachings have taken root in most of her generation. The other, for they are given no name, are just evil and must be removed from the planet and the way station orbiting above.

"Did anyone take credit?"

"They have no honor! How could you think they would take responsibility and explain their attack! What has gotten into you? Too long from the front lines" The venom was as unconscious as the distain for the Others. It's just what you said and how you said it if anyone showed mercy or interest in the Others. Rydae shook her head in disappointment, disguising it as an apology to Marten.

"It has been awhile since I've been involved directly." She lowers her voice only a touch to convey apology but no shame. Shame was the undoing of a warrior or soldier and she had had plenty to work through these past few years.

"Look just watch what you say for a few days and I'm sure it'll come back as natural as when you were a babe. I know you well enough to know, you would never give the Others an inch! You are the best soldier we have out there. We are in your debt forever." It didn't sound like the usual crap she's heard before. The hero returns, we all must bow to her and scrape and bless her. Moons Above, she hated the artificial emoting that always came with being home. Hearing Marten just state his feelings like that, well, it was refreshing. And very helpful, if things were going to work out the way she wanted.

"You're right, friend, thanks for the reminder. Being two-faced out there is how you survive. It's a hard thing to break, but I will. You'll see." She puts on a genuine grin and shoves a box over to him with her foot.

"This is it? It's so small. I thought we'd get more."

"You will. But not all at one time. I already explained. I don’t like repeating myself. Remind them of that when you deliver this."

"Of course." Marten gracefully tucks the box under his long coat and takes the hot drink from Rydae. He lets out a rare comforting murmer. "Delicious. Are you going to finish this? Of course not, what was I thinking." He takes full possession of the mug and downs the rest of it in one smooth action.

"By all means, drink all my stuff." She lets the grin widen into a smile and a small laugh. It was hard to remember the days before the Military, but she knows they were friends. Now? She simply hoped there was enough friendship buried inside him to allow her to sneak behind him and get a few things settled. If he looks to be disrespected by her, then he will go unscathed. But their friendship will likely die in the firestorm.

"Marty?"

"Wow. An old memory there. When did you last call me that? Recruitment day, yeah? That was some day, huh? I remember four very surprised and angry seniors. It just proved that they were obviously unable to handle the tougher jobs if they couldn't handle you and I making it before them. Seniors, ha. We never had need to schooling after that sophomore year!" Marten's eyes were shiny now.

His past has always been his downfall, though few folks knew it and the ones that did, knew better than to use it against him. He could be ruthless. Well, these days, he was always ruthless. Unaffected by horror and famine. He held many of the purse strings in this region and has had his fair share of threats, anonymous of course.

"I remember it well. I think. I was pretty piss drunk that year." They laugh off the old joke, running from their own horror that year.

"Interesting days, them. So, what's got you all nostalgic anyway?" Marten tries to hide his caution, but Rydae knows it's what has always kept him alive. No sense in pretending.

"I'm glad you asked. I have a mission coming up, quite soon in fact, and it requires a little too much back alley tricks for my tastes. I need to know you'll use whatever you need to stay out of the knowing."

"Wait. Out of the knowing? You want me to use my oblivion card? I haven't used that in decades. What's so terrible that I can’t know about it? Am I in danger?"

"Not exactly, no. Nut the less you know the safer you'll be. Promise?" She tries to remain calm, but it was just as likely Marten could read her as well, or better, than she reads him.

"It's not my preference, but you seem sure it's necessary."

"It is Marty, it is. I need you completely out of the loop for seven days."

"Seven! What am I suppose to do? Sit on my back porch and chew? Seven days? That's a lot to ask for, Rye. A lot." His worry turns to anger, but he keeps it in check, for now.

"I know, it's too much to ask, but I have no other way of getting this job done right. Please, bud, I really need this." She lets out all her emotion on this line, not wanting, and unable to hide, her real feelings.

"Okay, whoa. I'll do it, but Rye, if this goes sour, I won’t be able to help you. At all. You're effectively grounding me. Are you sure there's no other way?"

"Thank you, Marty. Thank you." She shoves her emotions down and asks about Marty's boys. They were on the regional team this year. Unsurprisingly ahead of schedule. She enjoys Marty's prattling on. He is a proud papa for sure. It was nice to see someone care about their kids and not just what they can do for the Military. Marty maybe a hundred percent Military, but he was a hundred and fifty percent a father. If the Military ever tried to hold that over him, this place would crumble in the wake of his vengeance.

You sure you want to test his resolve, Rydae? She wonders briefly how many pieces he would chop her up into, if he ever finds out the truth of her mission. Two lies and the rest truth. It's the way I survive. And this is the only way I can keep him and his family safe. At least I hope I can.

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It's my last day at this dog gig. Thankfully! 2 long-ass hikes a day is a bit much for me beyond day 6 or 7. I'm tired and well... tired! I almost fell asleep at 8pm last night. But I forced myself to stay up a little later and went to bed closer to 10, I think. I'm cleaning up the place and packing now. I did some foam rolling on my hip flexors because they are really pissed with me. I don't blame them at all.

 

So next challenge will have things like these:

 

Q Goal #1 -- hip and shoulder mobility and strengthening

Q Goal #2 -- face, hands, and skin care

Q Goal #3 -- push ups

Side Quest -- veggie search

Life Goal -- spiritual practice

 

So that's it for now. I'll post my results tomorrow probably. Definitely leveled up, but didn't earn all the points. That's fine, life is working.

Cheers!

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That dog kept you busy! 

 

I didn't meet all my goals either. That just shows me where I need to focus my energy next time. I'm trying not to beat myself up about it. 

 

I like your future quests! Looking forward to seeing them in more detail.

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That dog kept you busy! 

 

I didn't meet all my goals either. That just shows me where I need to focus my energy next time. I'm trying not to beat myself up about it. 

 

I like your future quests! Looking forward to seeing them in more detail.

 

Thanks, you too.

Dogs can run me ragged, but better animals than people! hahaha

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Love the writing style for Rydae, do you have it in one place anywhere I could do some reading? :)

Nice to see your next lot of goals, giving me a bit to think about

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Love the writing style for Rydae, do you have it in one place anywhere I could do some reading? :)

Nice to see your next lot of goals, giving me a bit to think about

 

I just have what is posted on this thread so far. The first installment of the story is in a few sections as well. The name I used before is Ridie, but I have changed it to Rydae. I'm thinking of posting it in a conversation thread. Maybe I'll do that. Thanks for the idea!

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W6 D7

 

eat:

carrot larabar and water

little chicken nuggets from shaws and some honey mustard sauce and water

2 tbsp of peanut butter and water

10 chicken bites with honey mustard sauce and coleslaw from KFC, and water

margherita pizza and water

 

workout:

recovery day

 

home:

brought stuff home and made more of a mess than when I left!

 

writing:

a period piece letter

 

A good day except for the extreme tiredness. 

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New Body Measurements

body parts           Oct-14          plus/minus

neck:                 14 1/8          - 1/4

chest:                39 5/8          + 1/8

breasts:             45 5/8          - 7/8

upper abs:        43 3/8          0

navel:               46 1/4          - 1/4

hips:                 46 1/4          - 1/4

upper thigh:      23 3/4          0

lower thigh:      21                - 1/4

calf:                  16 7/8          + 3/8

bicep:               13                - 1/4

bicep flexed:    14                - 1/4

forearm:           11                - 1/4

wrist:                6 1/2           0

weight:             205              - 8.6

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