amberdisa wants to be again the person she remembers being

[oromendur]

Greetings all! My first NF challenge. I’m struck by the power of this simple concept; the act of publicly and specifically defining oneself is one of the most powerful steps a person can take, and the fact that a community exists to encourage people to do this is amazing. Part of me knows perfectly well that we create our own worlds with the stories we tell ourselves, but that part of me hasn’t been in charge in a while

 

My old story: I’m a once-fit, once-disciplined military officer who finally stopped deploying with the Reserves last year and started going to graduate school. The lack of job-based routine structure and the stress of an extremely challenging partial-residency school schedule has resulted in weight gain, strength loss, and a complete inability to overcome the nasty little demons I had no idea were living inside my brain. I mean, seriously? What happened? Once upon a time I was a dedicated martial artist, a writer of beautiful speculative fiction, a part-time Viking warrior and an Officer of Marines. Now I can really be described only as a part-time version of the last of those things, and that only barely. Instead, I’ve become an indifferent scholar whose academic efforts can be described at best as “passing fair.â€

 

It’s not really a time problem, although I’m desperately busy -- it’s more of a motivation, organization, and prioritization problem. I’m older and slower and lazier these days, and life circumstances have conspired to make it so that I can get away with doing much less than I used to.

 

Main Quest: 8 pull-ups for my PFT in March

When the USMC switched from the bent-arm hang to pull-ups for women, I was all for it. It needed to happen. It’s a change for the better. Hell, *mumble* years ago I could do 10 of them! No problem, right? Well, in last spring’s PFT I chose to do pull-ups (we still have the option until next year) and to my utter disgust barely managed the minimum of 3, and that only because the young Sergeant doing the counting felt sorry for the old lady and gave her a pass on the somewhat questionable third one. I walked away with sixty points fewer than normal. It was by far the worst PFT score of my *mumble*-year career. I came to the very sobering realization that if I was going to stay in I needed to do some work.  

 

Quest 1 (18 points): Complete the Armstrong Pullup Program exercises (link) using Rubberbanditz resistance bands for assistance as necessary, at least three times a week. Five would be better, but I travel so much for school that I’m going to give myself some leeway. One point per successful day; any days beyond three count as extra points.

 

Quest 2 (18 points): Do 50 kettlebell swings, 20 glute raises, and 15 flying dogs at least three times a week (as described by Tim Ferriss in The 4-Hour Body). One point per successful day; any day beyond three, or any time I hike at least five or run at least two miles at any speed, counts as an extra point.

 

Quest 3 (42 points): Eat one fully “slow-carb†compliant meal a day (as described by Tim Ferriss in The 4-Hour Body). I really only eat twice a day so this shouldn’t be that hard, but so far I haven’t been managing very well. The funny thing is, it’s easier to do pull-ups if one isn’t overweight... One point per successful meal; any compliant main meals beyond this one per day count as extra points.

 

Life Quest (12 points): Host friends in my house at least once in the next six weeks. My place is an utter disaster. I need to do some outside work, get rid of some clutter, and generally clean up the pigsty. I spend most of my time here -- it’s no wonder my life is such a mess with this environment surrounding it! 4 points for getting the house clean, 4 points for sorting out the yard mess by my front door, and 4 points for having friends over at least once. I get extra points on this one for every 1’x1’x2’ box of excess crap I donate to a charity thrift store.

 

My goal for this challenge is 90 points. To make it easier on myself this first time, I’m going to allow extra points in one area to make up for failures in another. If I earn a total of 90 points, I get to level up and create stats for my NF character, and I’ll treat myself to a spa day with a deep tissue massage somewhere nice. If I get more than 90 points I get to do all that AND buy a fun new tech toy (to be determined later -- a new Kindle, maybe, or perhaps a smartphone upgrade).

 

Motivation: I want to be the person I used to be. I want to be an embodiment of (instead of an embarrassment to) the rank and uniform I wear. I want to legitimately earn the respect that comes with the idea of the kind of person other people think I am.

 

The timing isn’t great on starting this challenge; I have a short overnight backpacking trip in Yosemite starting Monday, so I won’t be posting until I get home from that, and I’ll already be somewhat behind in my first week. Still, I’m looking forward to seeing what I can manage by the end of October.

 

Good luck to all my fellow newbies! We’re embarking on an amazing journey together! Let’s do this!

[Blaidd]

i'm glad you made a public declaration with us - welcome on board!

 

You might notice that i've added an Assassins' tag to your thread.  This isn't to pigeonhole you into particular guild, but rather to bring one of their ambassadors here to offer you encouragement, support or advice.  Your goals this challenge fit well with the overall spirit of their guild and you are more than welcome to pop into their Den and introduce yourself to them.  You are also more than welcome to pop me a message anytime. 

 

Good Luck

AB xx

[Trembriele]

Hello! I'm really interested to follow your progress. I've *never* been able to do a pull-up and it's a goal I'm currently working towards.

[lishvicious]

What a great challenge - I really hope you can achieve all that you are setting out to do. You have come to the right place for a whole heap of support along the way

[Ornata]

I have to say that I was fascinated with your frank personal story -- and now I'm really interested in seeing how you progress. I wish you the best of luck in this challenge!

[T2sarahconnor]

Welcome to the rebellion! Ooh rah! Spent some time on the island myself.

Earlier this year a friend went through the exact same thing before his PFT. I know the Armstrong was part of his challenge too. Let me see if I can find his old thread for you for inspiration.

Can't wait to see your progress!

[deerskin]

You sound like a super interesting person! I have no doubt you will kick ass in this challenge. Good luck!

[Quickdraw]

I'm the friend T2 mentioned. Armstrong's where it's at, ma'am. Went from 8 to 18, now up to 19 even after an injury setback. You're on the right track, just stick to it and you'll see the results you're looking for!

-Sgt QD

Sent from my One using Tapatalk

[Terinatum]

Welcome, ma'am!

As a former Marine, I get wanting that vision of yourself from 'before.' Just keep in mind, you are creating a present and future self. The definitions are yours to make. I hope you're enjoying your trip. Sounds fun.

I'll be back.

Cheers,

Cpl Terinatum

'85-'91

[lullaby88]

Welcome Amberdisa! I'm Lullaby, one of the Ambassadors for the Assassins' Guild. Us Assassins love working on pullups. Well, most of us do (I'm not one of them yet). 

 

Here's a link to more information about the Assassins' Guild. We also have a Q&A chat thread for Level 1's where you can stop by and ask any questions you might have. We also have an Assassin Phonebook that lists the skills of our Assassin so be sure to check it out.

 

There's also a chat thread called the Assassins' Den where we hang out and chat. If you have any questions, I as well as the other Assassins are happy to help you out. You can reach me by using the private messenger system (click the envelope at the top right of the screen) or you can post on my thread.

 

Can't wait to see how your first challenge goes.

-Lullaby

 

[Trembriele]

How's it been going with your challenge, Amberdisa?

[oromendur]

Week 1 Update

 

It's Monday morning and I'm back home after much chasing around (and very little success) last week. Here's the breakdown for my first weekly in-progress review.

 

Quest 1 (Armstrong): I did the pushups but not the pullups Thu/Fri/Sat. No good reason why I didn't do the whole thing; my explanation lies somewhere between laziness, inertia, and the disconsolate mess that is my house. Points: 1.5/3

 

Quest 2 (4HB exercises): I did exactly zero of these exercises. Again, no good reason and certainly no excuse. I did go on a short overnight backpacking trip to Yosemite on Mon/Tue, though, and the hiking I did there nets me two extra points, so despite my utter lack of commitment this one's not a complete failure. Points: 2/3

 

Quest 3 (4HB food): Mon-Wed were a total wash. Thu/Fri I managed one meal. No luck on Saturday. Sun I managed one meal. Points: 3/7. I really don't know why this is so hard, but it is. I'm going shopping today and I fully intend to do much better this week.

 

Life Quest: I don't want to talk about it. Points: 0.

 

I'm going to grant myself one more Quest 2 extra point for Saturday. At the last minute I got pulled into a medieval fighting demo at the Getty that involved being on my feet in armor from 9 am to 6 pm. Once an hour for about five minutes we did a choreographed fight demonstrating certain period techniques with longsword and poleax in armor, and I performed in two of those. At the end of the day I was exhausted and very, very sore -- although it wasn't planned, I do think I earned an exercise point.  

 

Point progress: 7.5/90. Not a very auspicious beginning, but not a complete failure either. Today is Monday, the day of new beginnings and resolution renewals -- with my extra points possibilities I can still recover from this ghastly first week.

 

I put my backpacking trip into Fitocracy (same username) and I think I'll post the rest of the workouts starting with last week over there too. I can see that every tiny bit of motivation is going to make a difference here, and I need all the help I can get

[oromendur]

Armstrong's where it's at, ma'am. 

 

Yes, I know. You are so right. Using a combination of Armstrong and El Diablo's bodyweight progressions two years ago I got myself from barely 1 to a solid 6, which is why it was such a kick in the gut to only do 3 this spring. I just wish I could figure out how to motivate myself enough to do it again

[oromendur]

Week 1 mini-challenge: Get SMART

 

1. Is your overall quest achievable (over a short or long period of time)?  Is it reasonable? I think so. I've been close before. Yes.

 

2. Do your 3 quests all build towards your main quest in little ways, or are you taking on too much? Do your quests have sub-quests or is it just one thing to focus on? The quests do support the main one. The idea is to get stronger (so I can move more weight) and lose weight (so I don't have as much to move), both at the same time. Yes.

 

3. Are your main goals realistic? Can you scale them to smaller steps to fit your life better, even if it will make it take a little longer to achieve them? I intentionally aimed kind of low for this first challenge; 3 days per week instead of 5 or 7, for example. Yes.

 

4. Are your goals able to be measured and tracked?  What will you use to track them? Points to count for each quest make them measurable. Posting here will be my tracking. Yes.

 

5. How are you grading your goals?  Are they pass/fail (“every dayâ€, “not even once over the six weeksâ€)?  Is there a reward for the effort, or are you only grading yourself on whether or not you “lose the weight†or “run the distanceâ€? Again, points to count. It's flexible enough to allow me to recover from a bad week (thank goodness). I'm also excited about the possible rewards.

 

6. What is your plan for continuing/altering/grading those goals if you become ill or injured? I think the extra point possibilities I built in give me enough flexibility to adjust as necessary.

 

7. Did you take into consideration any special occasions (Labour Day, Independence Day, birthdays, anniversaries, etc) that may occur during the challenge?  What modifications do you need to build into your goals for those? See answer to #6. Thank goodness for those flexible extra points.

 

8. Do any of your main goals conflict with each other? Will one goal make it hard to do another? I think they complement each other well. No.

 

9. Do you already have the time in your schedule to actually complete the goals you’ve set?  If not, what are you planning to do to make time for them? Time is not the problem. Motivation is the problem. Yes.

 

10. Are you trying to build multiple habits, or is all your energy focused on your main quest? With the exception of the Life Quest, the multiple habits I'm trying to build are complementary -- eat better, move more. But they all support that main quest, so I think I'm all right. Yes to both.

[Quickdraw]

Yes, I know. You are so right. Using a combination of Armstrong and El Diablo's bodyweight progressions two years ago I got myself from barely 1 to a solid 6, which is why it was such a kick in the gut to only do 3 this spring. I just wish I could figure out how to motivate myself enough to do it again

 

The motivation is definitely the tricky part.  After I came home from deployment in 2012, I spent a year at a desk with a pullup bar outside and probably did less than 50 pullups that entire time.  I wasn't properly motivated to actually take up Armstrong and get those gains until I had my dream assignment dangled in front of me "as long as you can get your PFT up."

 

The good news is, it's always easier to regain pullups you've lost than it is to gain them the first time.  The road back to 6 should be pretty motivating in its own right, and then you'll have some habit momentum going!

[lullaby88]

I'm going to grant myself one more Quest 2 extra point for Saturday. At the last minute I got pulled into a medieval fighting demo at the Getty that involved being on my feet in armor from 9 am to 6 pm. Once an hour for about five minutes we did a choreographed fight demonstrating certain period techniques with longsword and poleax in armor, and I performed in two of those. At the end of the day I was exhausted and very, very sore -- although it wasn't planned, I do think I earned an exercise point.  

 

This is awesome! And I would totally count it as an exercise point. 

[oromendur]

Honestly - WHY IS THIS SO (bleep)ing HARD??

In the week and a half since I committed to this I haven't managed to do a single pull-up. Gah.

I made my challenge flexible enough that I can still succeed regardless, but still - someone whose *main quest* involves pullups should probably do a few once in a while. I'm doing well on expending the willpower to do push-ups right when I get up, but the rest of everything has just been deteriorating into nothing as my days progress. Argh.

I am going to do at least one set of assisted pullups tomorrow if it kills me. You read it here first!

[Terinatum]

You go, girl!!

Bust em out and then move on!

[Windranger]

Somehow I want to write very very very much to all of what you've written in here so far but for the moment I will keep it short because it's so "late".

 

It seems to me that you are an enourmous ambitious person and you want all your goals to be reachable just because you set them like this. I am doing my fourth challenge so far (if I didn't miscount now) and yet I haven't completed any. The reason? Wanting to much. I know it's frustrating thinking back to what has been and then seeing what it's like at the moment, but to exhaust yourself makes things probably worse instead of improving the situation.

 

You're just starting off again now. Take your time, do little steps, don't be mad at you for something there is not even anything to be mad about.

 

It's great that you have such an ambition and I am sure Odin is seeing this with a look of pleasure but please as I said, don't be angry with you

[oromendur]

You're just starting off again now. Take your time, do little steps, don't be mad at you for something there is not even anything to be mad about

 

Vielen Dank Magnhild -- du hast volkommen recht! Aber es is sehr schwer für mich, meine jetzige Situation zu akzeptieren

 

Like I said, I do think I can still be 'officially' successful, because I intentionally aimed low this first time. But still. IT. SHOULDN'T. BE. THIS. BLOODY. HARD.

 

(sigh) I'll try again tomorrow.

 

*goes to bed, wondering where on earth those two inquisitive-looking ravens watching her came from*

[Windranger]

Hey amberdisa!

 

How are you? How was your day?

 

[oromendur]

Hey amberdisa!

 

How are you? How was your day?

 

Um, I, uh, yeah...well...  Do you want the good news or the bad news?

 

The good news: I did three sets of pushups first thing in the morning! I cleaned my living room and kitchen! My lunch was fully slow-carb compliant! Yay!!

 

The bad news: I didn't do any pullups

 

I'm really beginning to wonder if the problem I'm actually having isn't the problem I think I'm having. There definitely seems to be something psychological about how irrationally I'm acting. I have the means: pullup bar hanging in the upstairs guest bedroom, resistance bands already looped about it and dangling, ready at any moment for a single five-minute session. I have the time -- this week has been heavy reading for school (and when I say heavy reading, I mean it; I read the entire Aeneid in verse translation yesterday), and any given stretch break between chapters could easily be spent doing a quick set of pullups instead of going to the fridge to troll for mindless eating opportunities. I walk past the bar to get on the computer a hundred times every day.

 

Sigh. I'll try again. I wish I could just add them to my morning routine, but I'm not supposed to do them until at least two hours after the pushups. I have plenty of self-discipline first thing in the morning to make myself do all sorts of unpleasant but character-building things -- probably because I'm not awake yet -- but once the day gets started and my unreliable brain takes over, things just don't happen the way they should. Time was, I walked 15 minutes one-way in 100° heat to do these things every day. Now I can't even seem to walk two feet...grr.

 

Anyway. I can still be successful in this challenge without doing a single pullup -- but wouldn't that be stupid? Talk about missing the point

 

Ah well. It's Friday morning and I have a whole book about literature in Rome to read, as well as the first of three treatises on alchemy (I'm saving the Shakespeare and Spenser assignments as rewards for good behavior, getting through the boring stuff). I'd better get to work.

[TMedina]

We are our own worst critics.  And, let's face it, getting older sucks - especially from a "what the frick, I remember this being so much easier!" point of view.

 

That said, you might find some of these articles helpful:

 

http://blogs.militarytimes.com/pt365/2014/04/03/zero-to-max-how-these-women-are-acing-pullups-practical-advice-for-anyone/

 

http://blogs.militarytimes.com/pt365/2014/04/04/pulling-up-from-your-bootstraps-four-womens-training-tips-to-conquer-pullups/

[she_wolf]

Like malcontent, I have yet to manage even ONE pull-up! Kudos on being so frank with yourself, especially the difficulty you're facing getting those pull exercises done. Have you thought about working on some inverted rows as a less intimidating start to get on your way? Good luck!!

[Windranger]

Workout and cleaning! Woot! Awesome. Argh why am I so lazy. Gotta follow all those great fellow's example and just start with my stuff right away.

 

Because of the pullups. I like those links TMedina posted and I will post this one here now also http://youtu.be/udi2pUJxya4?t=7m57s. As you know, I've never done a pullup (without a machine taking away very much of my weight) and therefore I don't know if this way is good or isn't. But for me it sounds like something good to start with.. Maybe place a chair under the pullup bar, make huge motivational signs you place where you spot them always as for example on the way to your computer

 

DISCIPLINE IS CHOOSING BETWEEN

WHAT YOU WANT NOW

AND WHAT YOU WANT MOST!

 

or some meters before you reach the fridge.

 

"WE MUST ALL SUFFER FROM ONE OF TWO PAINS:

THE PAIN OF DISCIPLINE OR THE PAIN OF REGRET.

 

THE DIFFERENCE IS DISCIPLINE WEIGHS OUNCES

WHILE REGRET WEIGHS TONS"

 

-- Jim Rohn

 

 

I got a lot of motivational self written posters in my room, right before me on the wall. They are for pushing my self esteem.

 

Even on my laptop I got little encouraging texts. It helps me stay positive and not sinking in my depressive mood for weeks again as it was in the past. Of course it doesn't prevent you from any bad thoughts, but it keeps reminding you that you are great and you do a lot of stuff to be proud off and just have to keep pushing yourself.

 

THE STRONGEST FACTOR FOR SUCCESS IS SELF-ESTEEM.

 

BELIEVING YOU CAN DO IT;

BELIEVING YOU DESERVE IT;

BELIEVING YOU WILL GET IT;

 

 

I will now start the music player, turn up the volume, clean up my room and study like crazy. And in the evening I will go out as a reward. What are you doing? Writing motivational posters and place them? Get the chair under the bar and do with it's help some reps so you get used to doing them again? Come on shield-sister. Let's fight!