Jump to content

The Scouts Will Avenge The Mini-Challenge


Kailer

Recommended Posts

W2 Avenging Challenge

Anger as Action

When things don't work out the way you expect, you can turn any of the anger and disappointment that flows from that, directly into an action that WILL work for you.

Emotions on a rampage is a good way to vent, but then what? Does it end up turning to self doubt and critical judgement? Do you shy away from what now seems so much harder?

You're not alone, it is an extremely difficult thing, to manage anger. But someone is here to teach you to focus that power to achieve something important.

*Bruce Banner walks in looking like he just changed back from a time as The Hulk.*

"Good Morning, Scouts. I've come to see what you can do with your anger. I assure you, running from it - sorry, I know you all love to run - is not an answer to any short, medium or long term goals. They tell me that Nerd Fitness is about leveling up your life. I reckon some days are smoother than others, yes?"

*Bruce looks around at all the assembled scouts and smiles.*

"You are good people, people willing to make a difference. So, when will it be a change you make for yourself? Today, tomorrow, or when you have time after all your other responsibilities? I believe we are responsible to ourselves first. I'm not saying go drop your other duties in life, no. I'm saying in order to sustain your balance and level-headedness you have to work on you regularly and with great passion. Why do I know you can? Because becoming part of the Rebellion was a great sign of self love.

So use your powers for your good. And when the pain of judgement comes from inside, turn it into your own Hulk and focus your prowess into an action that serves you."

*Bruce looks to each Scout and nods his head to each as he finds in their eyes and hearts the power that they have, to make change.*

"That there, that power is a gift, a duty to be taken up by you. You have the ability to become a Hulk whenever you need to."

*He steps back a bit from the group and looks out at them.*

"A friend tried to tell me once that I needed to get angry to get the job done. I simply replied,

'I'm always angry.'"

*And with that, he turned into The Hulk. And after a moment, he turned back to Bruce.*

I can't tell you how long it took for me to master my own anger. But I can assure you, you are capable.

So Scouts, let's harness the power behind the negative and critical thoughts that we thrust upon ourselves!

Make a note any time you realize you're reacting to anger. Doesn't matter what you're angry about. Notice what you do with it. And consider what you could do with it. Is there a way to make anger work for you? Can it make you run your sprints faster or make your swim more powerful? What does that anger really want?

Tell us.

-- only share details you're comfortable doing so , please.

  • Like 3

22nd level Wanderer

better is right here, right now

The Way

Here's to all the 1% increases in life!

Link to post

Week 1 was a success I would say.  6 out of 7 met.  The one missed was simply I forgot but I am going to keep at it!  

 

Week 2's challenge looks wonderful.  I can not say how impeccable the timing is with this one for me at least.  Excellent challenge idea!

 

With anger I know I internalize it.  I also am quite adept at turning it back on myself even though it was beyond my control.  I figure I deserved it somehow.  It will be interesting to really watch it for the week and see what I can do differently.  How I can use it for good.

  • Like 1

Food Fight - current challenge

Yeary Bug Count 0... if you are out and about then you are probably eating bugs. :onthego:

2015 - 22.5 bugs consumed

Chasing down the most awesome version of myself one step at a time.

The Character Battle Log 1 Daily Mile

 

 

Link to post

Anger! I usually don't let it control me but when it goes beyond my control, I usually use it fuel to my daily activities or I just remind myself that it'll only damage me and my "happy-mood" so I don't let it get to me.

This message was brought to you by "my five fingers and co."backed up by, "the jolt of electrical signals from my brain speeding through a network of nerves and ganglia".

  • Like 1

Class and Profession: Rangers
Background: 25 year old Nerdling. Here to kick some health......butt?? I need to work on that.

Current Challenge: Hani Gets Back On The Health Choo-Choo

 

Link to post

i managed 4/5 days for week 1.

___________________________________________

Week 2 I will focus on my self sabotaging, it makes me sooooo angry that I'm continuously sabotaging my own efforts to be healthier and live a better life. So I'm going to use that anger for when I feel/see myself about to make a stupid mistake that's gonna ruin my efforts :D

  • Like 1

Half Faerie (Sidhe) Scout | Black Belt Kitchen Ninja
"A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort" - Herm Albright
You're welcome to skype me (audriwolf) too but let me know who you are

My challenge

 

Link to post

week 1 : 5/7 flossing and showering

week 2 : Hey, good timing. I just went Hulk on Fri after a very long Hulkless period. I have a very long fuse, but when I reach the end I generally don't have any coping skills. My strategy has to be quelling the negative thoughts well before I start to feel angry. A persistent background meditation of sorts.

  • Like 1

To find piece with myself
I must first find a piece of myself

Link to post

Ooo, this should be an interesting challenge. I'm the type of person that when I get angry, I pretend that I'm not or convince myself that I'm simply overreacting. I don't like being angry so I actively avoid it. This will be a good exercise in, I think, accepting my anger and then being productive about it instead of metaphorically plugging my ears to it going LALALALALALALA. ;;;;;

  • Like 2

Vicki | Sheikah Bard | Level 13

STR 32.5 | DEX 51.1 | STA 25.5 | CON 37.1 | WIS 26.0 | CHA 31.3

blkhoe24601 Gains the Power to Revolutionize the World

Past Challenges: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12 13

2016 Battle Log

Link to post

Week 1 : Finally cut my hair Sunday night (just a tad bit of procrastination).

 

Week 2 : Goes well with my challenge calm goal.  I think writing a list of all the things that anger / upset me will let me reflect on what an ideal response could be versus how I react to it.

  • Like 1

Level 26, Primal Ultra Trail Scout, Non-Binary Robot

 

Link to post

Week 1: hair cut achieved, but did not get to the nails... made pumpkin pie filling instead

 

Week 2:

Day 1: Anger causing things -- People who cut me off; people who fail at using their turn signal; people who fail to drive the upper speed limit; GIS lecturer... stop wasting my time! There are 30 other things I could be doing than being chained to your class where you teach me nothing! Students who don't study, ask the same question 15 times, and can't figure out how to use Google.

Trying to chill out while driving -- breathing and music because yelling at people certainly doesn't accomplish anything

GIS -- try to do something else that would be useful, fain at paying attention...

Students -- deep breaths, double check lecture material and lab material... pretty sure it is them and not me that is causing the woeful quiz grades.

  • Like 1

STRENGTH (0) | DEXTERITY (-1) | CONSTITUTION (1) | WISDOM (3) | INTELLIGENCE (3) | CHARISMA (2)

Syren  -- Chaotic Good -- Human Druish Ranger -- Current Challenge -- Battle Log

Link to post

On Saturday I got my eyebrows waxed--never do that but I suck at shaping them properly, and it was only $14 w tip. Totally worth it. And more importantly, I finally overcame my inertia and fired up the epilator. As advertised, it was uncomfortable but not excruciating (I'm used to having my legs and such waxed occasionally, so figured it'd be a bout the same.) It's a little tedious, but the promised of not having to shave my legs for the next six weeks is pretty thrilling. As is not ending up wearing knee-high boots with a pretty sundress because I suddenly realize my legs are not fit for work! This was the perfect Challenge pick for me, as it forced me to do something I'd been putting off forever and, in doing so, made me realize it's a habit that'll be pretty easy to maintain. Woohoo!

Level 9 * Eladrin Scout

Clan: Mek'het   *   Covenant: Invictus

 

 

"An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered.

An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered."

 

           ––G. K. Chesterton

Link to post

Week one i got 5/7 for both wearing contacts and brushing my teeth before bed. Not too bad, but need to be better about it.

 

Week two might be interesting I have a VERY VERY long fuse and dont get angry too often, but when i do it only lasts for a few mins and its gone. I shove all of my emotions away and forget about them which ive been told can be very unhealthy. That being said i do have a tendancy to beat myself up more than need be when i fail at something or disapoint certain people and can dwell on that for some time...

  • Like 1

Level 1 Nord  Epic Quest

STR 3 | DEX 3 | STA 2 | CON 3 | WIS 3.5 | CHA 4

Original Challenge | 1ST | 2nd | joining the bebopReturn to the rangers |

Spoiler

 

"Crom, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad. Why we fought, or why we died. All that matters is that two stood against many. That's what's important! Valor pleases you, Crom... so grant me one request. Grant me revenge! And if you do not listen, then to HELL with you!"  - Conan

Quests

 

 

Link to post

So, Challenge 2. I don't really get angry per se (product of your typical repressed upper-middle-class Jewish upbringing . . . we stuff our anger down so well we don't even really acknowledge it exists. I heard my dad raise his voice once in my entire life, when I was about 6, and I remember it 40+ years later. It wasn't even at me . . . he said something really reasonable to my sisters who were being rambunctious, like "Girls, keep it down, I'm trying to work here." And that's how you do repressed!) But I do get super stressed and anxious, which is no doubt the same thing coming out in a different way. And, probably not surprisingly, I drink too much. Not in a scary alcoholic "can't go without it" kind of way, and not even technically to excess by various health rules of thumb. But too much *for me* as in, often I feel stressed out or like I just don't want to deal, so I have a drink in the evening. I'm actually scrupulous about not keeping booze in the house, but it's easy enough to pick up a cider or two on the way home or such. A cocktail or two at a dinner out. Drinks at our DMs house on games night. And it makes me less anxious right then, but of course it doesn't address the bigger problem of finding a healthy way to deal with stress, nor is it good for fitness or weight loss. Also, I am a total lightweight, so two drinks really is me getting pretty tipsy.

 

So, not drinking is already part of my "avoid trigger foods" challenge, since I'm considering alcohol a food for this purpose. This week, everytime I think, "I'm cranky. I need to relax. Maybe a drink would be nice," I'll figure out what I'm really feeling and either deal with the actual thing (I'm annoyed at Joe for something but rather than being bitchy I'll be tipsy. But talking it out would be better). Or I'm just wound up and jittery, in which case a walk or, if it's late, a nice cup of herbal tea is smarter.

  • Like 1

Level 9 * Eladrin Scout

Clan: Mek'het   *   Covenant: Invictus

 

 

"An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered.

An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered."

 

           ––G. K. Chesterton

Link to post

Ouch.. I may have to bow out on this one.. I"m a German through and through... came from a German upbringing.. and is  VERY HARD for me to not got frustrated..

 

on the other hand I'm more of a small firecracker.. pop a little.. let off the steam.. *slick back my hair and take a deep break, and then continue*

 

My worry is that I could like 200 things this week that irritate the HECK out of me.. I growl, sigh, and then keep going on... as a friend of mine once said..

 

"You can lead a horse to water, but if you have to tie a brick around it's neck, shove a straw up it's back side & start sucking.... it's probably going to go thirsty*...

aka.. ya can't please everyone.. or understand... or have them do what you want.. just have to deal w/ it..

  • Like 1

Achgiguwen,

Level 3 Android ScoutSTR 9|DEX 6|STA 9|CON 5|WIS 5|CHA 4

Starting weight 320 lbs.   Current weight 258.2

Link to post

On Saturday I got my eyebrows waxed--never do that but I suck at shaping them properly, and it was only $10. Totally worth it. And more importantly, I finally overcame my inertia and fired up the epilator. As advertised, it was uncomfortable but not excruciating (I'm used to having my legs and, er, stuff waxed occasionally, so figured it'd be a bout the same.) It's a little tedious, but the promised of not having to shave my legs for the next six weeks is pretty thrilling. As is not ending up wearing knee-high boots with a pretty sundress because I suddenly realize my legs are not fit for work! This was the perfect Challenge pick for me, as it forced me to do something I'd been putting off forever and, in doing so, made me realize it's a habit that'll be pretty easy to maintain. Woohoo!

yeah I need me an epilator too now ;)  My hair grows really sparsely and is fairly light so I don't need to do something about it as often as everyone else (and it's been winter here :D).  I would love to not have to pay loads of cash to not have to shave my legs every second week or so.

Half Faerie (Sidhe) Scout | Black Belt Kitchen Ninja
"A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort" - Herm Albright
You're welcome to skype me (audriwolf) too but let me know who you are

My challenge

 

Link to post

I mostly get frustrated with people who are annoying on my morning train. Especially the women who decide they don't have to hold on to anything and fall on everyone else (especially me!) instead. I'm not taking the train in the morning this week though so maybe I'll have to work on not being frustrated with the people who ride their bicycles on the sidewalks and act like jerks about it.

  • Like 1

Level 9 Amazon Druid
STR : 17 | DEX : 23 | STA : 22 | CON : 23 | WIS : 21 | CHA : 15
Challenges: Current, 8, 7.1, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3.1, 3, 2, 1
Battle Log

Link to post

Hulk evaluation, day one! Two things irritated me today: one was cryptically passive aggressive posts on Facebook (not directed at me, which I knew because it made no sense, but that doesn’t mean I’m less irritated about it than if it was), and the second was motorcyclists who don’t wear helmets or anything reflective in the dark. How did I handle them?

 

To the former, I rolled my eyes and moved on because it’s not worth getting upset about, especially if the passive aggressive post had nothing to do with me.

 

To the latter, well, my anger resulted in a near panic attack because it was after rehearsal and I was tired and stressed and just wanted to get home, etc. Not the most healthy way of coping with my anger. There's nothing I can really do about a motorcyclist not wearing a helmet or reflective gear in the middle of the night on a not that well lit road, but I guess it did help me be more alert even if slightly more road ragey. So I guess I have to figure out ways of coping with my anger that's not, you know, panic attack inducing, because I can't control the actions and decisions of others, but I can try to control my reaction to it as best as I can. Step one: if people on the road piss you off, be less road ragey and more zen, however you can. It could be listening to one of your favorite songs. It could be reminding yourself that even if that person wasn't on the road you wouldn't be getting to where you want to go faster. It's time to experiment, because getting pissed at people on the road is actually one of my key anger sources. ;;;;

  • Like 1

Vicki | Sheikah Bard | Level 13

STR 32.5 | DEX 51.1 | STA 25.5 | CON 37.1 | WIS 26.0 | CHA 31.3

blkhoe24601 Gains the Power to Revolutionize the World

Past Challenges: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12 13

2016 Battle Log

Link to post

Week 1: hair cut achieved, but did not get to the nails... made pumpkin pie filling instead

 

Week 2:

Day 1: Anger causing things -- People who cut me off; people who fail at using their turn signal; people who fail to drive the upper speed limit; GIS lecturer... stop wasting my time! There are 30 other things I could be doing than being chained to your class where you teach me nothing! Students who don't study, ask the same question 15 times, and can't figure out how to use Google.

Trying to chill out while driving -- breathing and music because yelling at people certainly doesn't accomplish anything

GIS -- try to do something else that would be useful, fain at paying attention...

Students -- deep breaths, double check lecture material and lab material... pretty sure it is them and not me that is causing the woeful quiz grades.

 

Do you teach? I taught one class last spring, and I wanted to scream half the time because I seriously could not have made the class any easier, yet over half the students didn't study (despite being told exactly what to study) and pretty much failed the class! I ended up so frustrated I decided not to look for another teaching gig after we moved!

QengpuBenal, level 4 High Elf Ranger STR5| DEX 2| STA13| CON 6| WIS 19| CHA 6

Battle Log

 

"I want to live in a world where normal is an insult." - Misha Collins

Link to post

Week One was a success! 6/6 (since I started a bit late)!

 

Week Two: I am going to practice making a choice when I get angry. Either I will do some quick meditation or I will take action. I tend to complain a lot when I should simply do something. The big thing for this week will be putting the wheels in motion to deal with my lack of office space at the school I work at Mondays. Tomorrow I will email my team lead and let him know that this is a problem, what has been done so far, and ask him for advice. Odds are, he'll go light a fire under someone's butt and get things moving.

  • Like 2

QengpuBenal, level 4 High Elf Ranger STR5| DEX 2| STA13| CON 6| WIS 19| CHA 6

Battle Log

 

"I want to live in a world where normal is an insult." - Misha Collins

Link to post

Nothing angered me yesterday or even irritated me.  I was happy all day and it really does make a difference.

Half Faerie (Sidhe) Scout | Black Belt Kitchen Ninja
"A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort" - Herm Albright
You're welcome to skype me (audriwolf) too but let me know who you are

My challenge

 

Link to post

So, Challenge 2. I don't really get angry per se (product of your typical repressed upper-middle-class Jewish upbringing . . . we stuff our anger down so well we don't even really acknowledge it exists. I heard my dad raise his voice once in my entire life, when I was about 6, and I remember it 40+ years later. It wasn't even at me . . . he said something really reasonable to my sisters who were being rambunctious, like "Girls, keep it down, I'm trying to work here." And that's how you do repressed!) But I do get super stressed and anxious, which is no doubt the same thing coming out in a different way. And, probably not surprisingly, I drink too much. Not in a scary alcoholic "can't go without it" kind of way, and not even technically to excess by various health rules of thumb. But too much *for me* as in, often I feel stressed out or like I just don't want to deal, so I have a drink in the evening. I'm actually scrupulous about not keeping booze in the house, but it's easy enough to pick up a cider or two on the way home or such. A cocktail or two at a dinner out. Drinks at our DMs house on games night. And it makes me less anxious right then, but of course it doesn't address the bigger problem of finding a healthy way to deal with stress, nor is it good for fitness or weight loss. Also, I am a total lightweight, so two drinks really is me getting pretty tipsy.

 

So, not drinking is already part of my "avoid trigger foods" challenge, since I'm considering alcohol a food for this purpose. This week, everytime I think, "I'm cranky. I need to relax. Maybe a drink would be nice," I'll figure out what I'm really feeling and either deal with the actual thing (I'm annoyed at Joe for something but rather than being bitchy I'll be tipsy. But talking it out would be better). Or I'm just wound up and jittery, in which case a walk or, if it's late, a nice cup of herbal tea is smarter.

 

Instead of bowing out would you consider finding ways in which anger makes you do things you don't want to do? Are there times your anger is pointed at you? Is there another way you can express built up anger? I don't want you to try and change how you normally express your anger, that takes lots of experiences in which to try new things, I'd like to see how you feel about dealing with your anger from within. You sound as if a lot of things that get you angry or frustrated, are dealt with in an immediate fashion. That's good for keeping it from being bottled up. What about the times, it does sneak back inside you? Does anger contaminate parts of your life that had nothing to do with the reason you were anger to begin with?

 

Find a way to follow your anger inside and see if it's a healthy thing for you or if it's hindering you, especially unknowingly. If you would rather not, that is of course perfectly fine! Either thing you want is okay.

Cheers!

22nd level Wanderer

better is right here, right now

The Way

Here's to all the 1% increases in life!

Link to post

Week 1 was a success I would say.  6 out of 7 met.  The one missed was simply I forgot but I am going to keep at it!  

 

Week 2's challenge looks wonderful.  I can not say how impeccable the timing is with this one for me at least.  Excellent challenge idea!

 

With anger I know I internalize it.  I also am quite adept at turning it back on myself even though it was beyond my control.  I figure I deserved it somehow.  It will be interesting to really watch it for the week and see what I can do differently.  How I can use it for good.

 

Nice. It's good to realize how feelings affect us, after the reason for the feeling is no longer around or is in the past.

 

Anger! I usually don't let it control me but when it goes beyond my control, I usually use it fuel to my daily activities or I just remind myself that it'll only damage me and my "happy-mood" so I don't let it get to me.

This message was brought to you by "my five fingers and co."backed up by, "the jolt of electrical signals from my brain speeding through a network of nerves and ganglia".

 

This is a good viewpoint to work from. Anger tells us that something's not okay with us. It's good to see that and redirect that power to make things right for us. When we can't control something, turning to something we can is important.

 

i managed 4/5 days for week 1.

___________________________________________

Week 2 I will focus on my self sabotaging, it makes me sooooo angry that I'm continuously sabotaging my own efforts to be healthier and live a better life. So I'm going to use that anger for when I feel/see myself about to make a stupid mistake that's gonna ruin my efforts :D

 

Yeah. sabotage has been my co-pilot for decades. It's how I managed to stay in my comfort zone and not risk anything. When we feel vulnerable, we often want to hide first,, ask questions and take action later, if ever. It's a brave thing to look at our actions and how they affect us. Good luck, Blaidd.

 

week 1 : 5/7 flossing and showering

week 2 : Hey, good timing. I just went Hulk on Fri after a very long Hulkless period. I have a very long fuse, but when I reach the end I generally don't have any coping skills. My strategy has to be quelling the negative thoughts well before I start to feel angry. A persistent background meditation of sorts.

 

Back ground meditation, I like that idea. I wonder about the quelling. Does it mostly work or are some emotions getting past that and find a place to hide inside? A long fuse is a really good thing, I've used mine a lot! Just ask yourself if there's anything inside that needs to come out and be recognized. I really love the background meditation, makes me wonder how we do that naturally. Long fuse folks seem to be able to do it, almost unconsciously. Cheers.

22nd level Wanderer

better is right here, right now

The Way

Here's to all the 1% increases in life!

Link to post

Ooo, this should be an interesting challenge. I'm the type of person that when I get angry, I pretend that I'm not or convince myself that I'm simply overreacting. I don't like being angry so I actively avoid it. This will be a good exercise in, I think, accepting my anger and then being productive about it instead of metaphorically plugging my ears to it going LALALALALALALA. ;;;;;

 

Oh man, we are cut from the same cloth! How much of a visual imagination do you have? I have this place that I have created. It's my sacred space. I put all kinds of images and visual aspects of my parts there as well. I avoided putting anything angry or mean in it, thinking it didn't belong or would ruin the safeness of it all. But, very recently, I tried it because anger came up in a very serious way and I HAD to deal with it. So I created a huge cliff that faced the ocean and put my 'anger-self' up there and said, you can do whatever you want up here, it's okay. So it created canons and blew up clouds and waves in the ocean and then threw lightning bolts out ot the horizon. I just watched and felt good about letting my anger express itself. Now I try and let my anger be released through that visual. Not very consistent yet, but I like the results. Maybe try something like that for you and see if it does any good? Good luck!

 

Week 1 : Finally cut my hair Sunday night (just a tad bit of procrastination).

 

Week 2 : Goes well with my challenge calm goal.  I think writing a list of all the things that anger / upset me will let me reflect on what an ideal response could be versus how I react to it.

 

Wonderful idea. I used to use a pro/con sheet whenever I wondered how to react to something someone did or said. In the moment reactions are really tough for me so writing it down - my main way of remembering and being real with myself - seemed to let me feel the justification of a reaction whether I did it or not. I hope you find some interesting choices!

 

Week 1: hair cut achieved, but did not get to the nails... made pumpkin pie filling instead

 

Week 2:

Day 1: Anger causing things -- People who cut me off; people who fail at using their turn signal; people who fail to drive the upper speed limit; GIS lecturer... stop wasting my time! There are 30 other things I could be doing than being chained to your class where you teach me nothing! Students who don't study, ask the same question 15 times, and can't figure out how to use Google.

Trying to chill out while driving -- breathing and music because yelling at people certainly doesn't accomplish anything

GIS -- try to do something else that would be useful, fain at paying attention...

Students -- deep breaths, double check lecture material and lab material... pretty sure it is them and not me that is causing the woeful quiz grades.

 

Interesting. Reactions to others behaviors. It's a tough one to deal with, especially if you're the one that's giving them the information and they can't hold onto it for whatever reasons.  It's really hard to be a teacher and I think you for being on the front lines. Now. Try this if you will... Step back from the idea of you being responsible for them getting the information. What if you focused on giving the information in different, fun, curious ways? What if the grades are secondary to you? The grades are important to them or at least I hope so! But for you? I imagine there's pressure to have a good performing class, a good class average, but you can't be in their heads, right? So don't bother with it. Perhaps if you give yourself a break from having to be sure that they get it and prove it on tests, you could enjoy the act of teaching more and the results may change? Perhaps not, I'm no teacher, but I am hoping that the tactic will show you something and make teaching fun and invigorating for you. I has to work for you too, not just the students. Best of Luck!

 

Week one i got 5/7 for both wearing contacts and brushing my teeth before bed. Not too bad, but need to be better about it.

 

Week two might be interesting I have a VERY VERY long fuse and dont get angry too often, but when i do it only lasts for a few mins and its gone. I shove all of my emotions away and forget about them which ive been told can be very unhealthy. That being said i do have a tendancy to beat myself up more than need be when i fail at something or disapoint certain people and can dwell on that for some time...

 

Ah, turning the emotions on the self! I do that a lot, but then I find out that I have created shame. What? How did that happen? What happen wasn't even my fault! And the things I did do wrong weren't intentional so how can I take such a negative response to myself. I wonder if you could try teasing out the details of one of those emotions or events where you still dwell in the 'I'm responsible for it' place? Would it be possible to list the events that happened and jot down who did what and what you thought about it at the time it happened? If you can retrace your emotions back to the initial feeling (very possibly anger), perhaps you can let yourself feel just that emotion and see what it tells you about the emotions you're holding onto? See what happens.

 

So, Challenge 2. I don't really get angry per se (product of your typical repressed upper-middle-class Jewish upbringing . . . we stuff our anger down so well we don't even really acknowledge it exists. I heard my dad raise his voice once in my entire life, when I was about 6, and I remember it 40+ years later. It wasn't even at me . . . he said something really reasonable to my sisters who were being rambunctious, like "Girls, keep it down, I'm trying to work here." And that's how you do repressed!) But I do get super stressed and anxious, which is no doubt the same thing coming out in a different way. And, probably not surprisingly, I drink too much. Not in a scary alcoholic "can't go without it" kind of way, and not even technically to excess by various health rules of thumb. But too much *for me* as in, often I feel stressed out or like I just don't want to deal, so I have a drink in the evening. I'm actually scrupulous about not keeping booze in the house, but it's easy enough to pick up a cider or two on the way home or such. A cocktail or two at a dinner out. Drinks at our DMs house on games night. And it makes me less anxious right then, but of course it doesn't address the bigger problem of finding a healthy way to deal with stress, nor is it good for fitness or weight loss. Also, I am a total lightweight, so two drinks really is me getting pretty tipsy.

 

So, not drinking is already part of my "avoid trigger foods" challenge, since I'm considering alcohol a food for this purpose. This week, everytime I think, "I'm cranky. I need to relax. Maybe a drink would be nice," I'll figure out what I'm really feeling and either deal with the actual thing (I'm annoyed at Joe for something but rather than being bitchy I'll be tipsy. But talking it out would be better). Or I'm just wound up and jittery, in which case a walk or, if it's late, a nice cup of herbal tea is smarter.

 

Transmutation of anger, oh how I know it! lol Turning the 'negative' feelings into something more manageable is a seriously engrained coping skill for Jewish people and loads of other cultures. It makes the surface smoother, it makes people more comfortable around others, it makes things more polite. And that is often effective and healthy. But when it's the only major coping skill, the effects diminish and the emotions come back to nest in the person trying to deny them expressions in its original form. I know rationalizing is a big coping skill in my family and we have a huge family! My dad has lots of siblings. But when we are able to sit with an events and there isn't anything that can be said, it gets extremely quiet. No one has any real experience, expressing anger, fear or sadness. So when you find yourself expressing different emotions, I wonder if you could make sure to remember that and see what emotion, or the actual event, you are molding? Maybe if you can express the first emotion to yourself at least, you can get more experience in how to deal with it more immediately and more directly? Hope so. Good Luck.

22nd level Wanderer

better is right here, right now

The Way

Here's to all the 1% increases in life!

Link to post

Week 1: I flossed every day and did the mini mani/pedi! I missed a shower, but I think a win overall. 

Week 2: Interesting idea! I'll take note of when I get Hulk-ish

 

Ha. I like that... Hulkish. Perceptions of ourselves tell us a lot, if we can spot them. I hope you discover some Hulk-ish times to ponder. Let us know!

 

I mostly get frustrated with people who are annoying on my morning train. Especially the women who decide they don't have to hold on to anything and fall on everyone else (especially me!) instead. I'm not taking the train in the morning this week though so maybe I'll have to work on not being frustrated with the people who ride their bicycles on the sidewalks and act like jerks about it.

 

Personal responsibility, it's really tough to deal with, when it's the other person. Common decency, respect for the law, consideration of others... the public world is fraught with too many ideas of what's acceptable and what's not. And by whom and when, and how... Damn! It's gotta be the toughest anger to deal with outside of family and friends. There's so little control. We are taught to mind our own business, stay out of it. How many movies talk about whether someone should tell someone that their partner is cheating or that a friend lied or stole something? I don't think we're getting a universal answer anytime soon. I hope you find some clues to help you manage the unconscious people around you.

 

Week One was a success! 6/6 (since I started a bit late)!

 

Week Two: I am going to practice making a choice when I get angry. Either I will do some quick meditation or I will take action. I tend to complain a lot when I should simply do something. The big thing for this week will be putting the wheels in motion to deal with my lack of office space at the school I work at Mondays. Tomorrow I will email my team lead and let him know that this is a problem, what has been done so far, and ask him for advice. Odds are, he'll go light a fire under someone's butt and get things moving.

 

Oh nice idea. I like the idea of a choice in our reactions to anger and frustration. Do you often hold back or do you make another decision that doesn't seem to help? Putting ourselves out there, to speak up, is risky business. Finding a calmer reaction can be tricking because what if we're just telling ourselves we 'have' to calm down? Is it for our well-being or are we trying to protect another? It's hard to tell I think because often it's a bit of both. So I wonder when you meditate, if you could ask yourself, 'how would I have wanted to deal with this?' 'Is there a solution that I'm missing because my emotions are too high to see it clearly?' Maybe your calmness will come because you have more options in what to do? Good luck and I hope your office space becomes nicely usable!

22nd level Wanderer

better is right here, right now

The Way

Here's to all the 1% increases in life!

Link to post

Hulk evaluation, day one! Two things irritated me today: one was cryptically passive aggressive posts on Facebook (not directed at me, which I knew because it made no sense, but that doesn’t mean I’m less irritated about it than if it was), and the second was motorcyclists who don’t wear helmets or anything reflective in the dark. How did I handle them?

 

To the former, I rolled my eyes and moved on because it’s not worth getting upset about, especially if the passive aggressive post had nothing to do with me.

 

To the latter, well, my anger resulted in a near panic attack because it was after rehearsal and I was tired and stressed and just wanted to get home, etc. Not the most healthy way of coping with my anger. There's nothing I can really do about a motorcyclist not wearing a helmet or reflective gear in the middle of the night on a not that well lit road, but I guess it did help me be more alert even if slightly more road ragey. So I guess I have to figure out ways of coping with my anger that's not, you know, panic attack inducing, because I can't control the actions and decisions of others, but I can try to control my reaction to it as best as I can. Step one: if people on the road piss you off, be less road ragey and more zen, however you can. It could be listening to one of your favorite songs. It could be reminding yourself that even if that person wasn't on the road you wouldn't be getting to where you want to go faster. It's time to experiment, because getting pissed at people on the road is actually one of my key anger sources. ;;;;

 

 

Oh, yea. I get this way about folks who don't follow road rules. There are bumper stickers that say share the road, but a lot of folks on either side, bikers, cyclists, drivers, they too often think they can do whatever they please, thinking it's not affecting anyone else. I'm sorry car, bike, skateboarder, I can't read your mind!!! Okay, that is obviously my penned in anger ! LOL My point being that when we don't have control to 'make' other people do the right thing (in our often no longer humble opinion), we get frustrated. The unfairness of it all. It's about living with community. As we have grown, communities are filled more with strangers than friends and family. we are, as a animal, I think, perpetually fighting the unease we feel around strangers, especially the closer they are to out home which is suppose to be safe and happy. It's a tough job and as I'm writing this, I want to work on this this week. See what safety issues arise for you when you think about people on the road doing seemingly stupid things. Maybe you'll find anger or fear of something that wants attention. Good Luck to both of us on this one! ;-)

 

Nothing angered me yesterday or even irritated me.  I was happy all day and it really does make a difference.

 

Oh how I love those days! The peacefulness of the moment, it's an amazingly powerful recharger for us. We feel like everything is just fine right now and we get to realize, if it happened this time, it could happen again. It gives us hope. It is a good thing. A mini paradise to enjoy. Soak up the calmness and joy of the perfect moment.

  • Like 2

22nd level Wanderer

better is right here, right now

The Way

Here's to all the 1% increases in life!

Link to post

Week One was a success for me. :)

 

Week Two will be interesting.  It usually takes a lot to actually make me angry, but there is a friend of mine who loves to see how far she can push me. I was sure when she moved away it would help, but no luck. :(  When she starts pushing things this week I'll try to explain to her why I don't see things the same way she does instead of just doing my best to avoid her and spending the rest of the day seething about it. (We were good friends for a long time, so I don't want to write her off as I'm hoping some distance will help us get along again.)

Current Challenge: Late start, but here at last.

Level 6 Magikarp

Past Challenges: 1 2 3 4 5

My NF Character and Epic Quest!

 

Link to post
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

New here? Please check out our Privacy Policy and Community Guidelines