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ConcreteCavewoman, the Smash Lampjaw Challenge


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Last challenge the first few weeks went pretty decently.  Then I got the flu.  Like THE FLU. Like, a week on the couch drinking tea and shaking my fist angrily at the sky kinda flu.  However, it was a chance to spend time catching up on my favorite MST3k episodes when I wasn't curled up in the fetal position stuffing cough drops into my face. If you haven't seen it, Space Mutiny is probably one of the top 3 (ok, MY top 3) MST3k episodes of all time (right behind Mitchell and Soultaker).  Describe it, I just can't, so here. Watch this:


And revel in Smash Lampjaw's endless amazing list of meathead names. 


Since I've returned to WA I've been working out at Globogym.  No, really.  If you read The Historical Annals of Bro-ness mine would be listed as the Ur-bro-gym.  Just last week I heard one bro call another bro--who was doing curls a mere foot from the mirror--"pump daddy", for what I suppose were obvious reasons.  It's Bosu shrugs and non-ironic muscle tees as far as the eye can see!  And in a way I love it: the pure, shameless bro-ness of it all, so I've named my challenge accordingly.


Quest: Be more meathead.  You know, get strong and all that.  Because when in Rome.  This is pretty much a continuation of my last challenge, which has been all strength-based.


  1. Eat.  Meat and vegetables.  And whey.  Since I've been doing crazy things in the last couple months like getting more sleep, meditating, working out regularly, and generally taking better care of myself, I've noticed that rather magically (dashing?) my usual late afternoon sugar cravings have kind of... disappeared.  This is a great development, so I want to keep on track. 
    +1 point for every day that consists of Paleo + Whey.
    Total points possible: 42
  2. Train:  Lift heavy stuff 3x per week.  I'm still on a 12 week Starting Strength cycle (week 5 I believe?).
    Lifts as of this challenge:
    Squat -  80.  So yeah, let's talk about this.   Why am I squatting 80 and benching 75?  It's taken a good month of trial and error, but I think it all boils down to hips that are weak as hell.  My glutes aren't activating, leaving me to rely wholly on my quads while squatting, which is only making my generally anterior tilted posture even worse (not to mention causing some very uncomfortable hip pain coming out of the bottom of the squat). As a result I've been doing lots of body weight glute activation exercises and this does seem to be helping.
    Bench - 75
    Deadlift - 145
    Press - 60
    Total points possible: 16 (why? I'll be out of town for two workouts. But I'll be working out. Story below.) 
  3. Sleep:  In bed by 10.  Bam.
    Total points possible: 42
  4. Repeat? This is the bucket for my sundry life goals that are on the plate for this challenge. 
    -- I want to finish 3 books, per usual, so one point per book.  
    -- I'll also be heading out in a week or so to Mt Rainier for a four-day backpacking trip with a good friend of mine, which is why I'll be missing two lifting days.  It'll be around 50 miles total.  Four points for finishing. And you know...
    -- Lastly, I've been spending some time ramping up on iOS (as a long time platform engineer this is a change for me) so I'd like to publish at least one app on the app store before the end of this challenge (worth 5 points).
    Total points possible: 12

Each goal will be weighted to 25% of the total.

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Monday 5/15


I was in Portland for a couple days for kicks.  I love that town.  I spent the day at REI shopping for the rest of my backpacking gear, hanging around the downtown area, and drinking coffee, because Portland. I visited a farm outside the city and got 40lbs of heirloom tomatoes for canning, and then drove back to Seattle.

  1. Workout: 0/3. Vacation day.
  2. Food: +1
  3. Sleep: +1
  4. Etc: Nothing really applicable today.


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Tuesday 9/16
Really weird and slack day.  I just had a massive case of the lazies.

  1. Workout: Nope
  2. Eat: 2/2
  3. Sleep: 2/2
  4. Repeat? Did route and meal planning for my backpacking trip.

Wednesday 9/17

A -much- more productive day.  Got up early, made a huge breakfast, hit the gym, walked the dog, stopped by the chiropractor who's been working on tapping my hips back into alignment.  Did a bunch of bodyweight glute activation work.  Watched Barbell Shrugged while canning tomatoes, like you do.  Hit REI for a few more trip items.

  1. Workout: Success! 1/2
    Squat (hip crease muscles are still nagging when I come out of the bottom of the squat, ugh.)
    145x4x1 PR
    80x3x5 PR
    Cable Rows
    One Arm DB Row
    35x1x10 40x1x10
  2. Eat: Success!  3/7
  3. Sleep: Fail.  2/7 (I stayed up late last night watching MST3k...)
  4. Repeat? Cooked and pureed 30 lbs of tomatoes for storage. 
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This is also my favorite Warrior challenge format, so I'll be popping in to watch your progress :)


Because of the way I'm deloading, my squat is going to start out quite a bit lower than my bench press (I think my first week will be at ~45 lbs and ~70 lbs, respectively). It's an artificial difference, but it's still going to be strange.


What glute activation exercises are you doing? I've also been doing a lot of them for the same reason--bird dogs, fire hydrants, and bridges are my go-to exercises.


Challenge 2.1, 2.2, 2.3, 2.4, 2.5, 2.6, 2.7, 2.8, 2.9, 2.10 


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Sounds like resting Tuesday was perfect.  That's some freaking productivity.  Congrats on the PRs!

"I'm just going to remember to not eat like an asshole most of the time" - MoC

three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: one must squat.- Brobert Frost
 Half-Elf Warrior | Current Challenge
 New Battle Log | Old Battle Log
Special thanks to AkLulu for drawing my awesome avatar!

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