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Claireloise gets unstuck from a rut


Claireloise

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Hi Everyone!

 

My name’s Claire and I’m jumping into my first challenge, even though I’m a little late starting.  I’m 26, Australian, and not very fit.  Over the past couple of years, I’ve had issues with my knees, and also with depression and anxiety.  As a result, I’m less fit, less strong and heavier than I’d like to be. 

 

Main Quest: Fit into my clothes again

It’s pretty dispiriting to go to put on a favourite pair of pants and find that they won’t do up any more.

 

 

Goal 1: Complete Zombies, Run! 5k app [+3 STA]

I’ve recently started running, and to my utter surprise, I enjoy it, despite being completely the wrong shape for it.    I’ve been finding the Zombies, Run! app really enjoyable, and also suitably gentle for a novice like me.  I’ve got about 2/3 of the way through before getting sidetracked by life, but I’m 4 weeks in now and doing well.  I also have my faithful canine companion to accompany me. I can finish this!

A = Finish ZR, B = Start Week 8, C= Finish Week 7, D = Start Week 7

 

Goal 2:  Do Physio/Strength training 3 x week. [+3 STR]

I’ve been working on my knees for most of this year, and I’ve got some exercises that really help with mobility and pain, but oddly enough, they don’t work when I don’t do them!  I want to get into a regular pattern so that my knees continue to improve and gain strength. 

A = 3 x week, B = 2 x week, C = 1 x week, D = 0 x week

 

Goal 3: Track my food every day [+1 CON, +1 WIS]

I really want to make a conscious effort to pay attention to what I’m eating.  When life gets overwhelming, my eating patterns go to pot, and often a packet full of chocolate biscuits seems like it will solve my problems.  I don’t want to eat mindlessly, and I think tracking everything is a good first step for this. 

A = 7 days tracking, B = 6 days tracking, C = 5 days tracking, D = 4 days tracking

 

 

Life Quest: Find a Job! [+1 WIS, +1 CHA]

I’ve just finished a course, and I’m really looking forward to finding regular work.  Money and daily structure, sounds great!

A = Get an interview, B = Apply for more than one job, C = Apply for one job, D = No applications

 

Motivation 

I want to feel more energetic, more competent in my everyday life.  To walk up the stairs without it being a huge effort, to go out for the day without worrying about my knee.  

 

Okay, here we go!

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Claireloise

Level 1 Amazon

STR 3 || DEX 0 || STA 3 || CON 1.8 || WIS 3.3 || CHA 1.5

Challenges: Current   Previous

Accountability: Cutlasses

 

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I know I'm behind, but I am analysing my goals for SMARTness

 

1.       Is your overall quest achievable (over a short or long period of time)?  Is it reasonable?

I think that my main quest is definitely achievable.  I know that the past few months of isolation and inactivity have led to my current situation, so I think changing my habits will definitely lead to other changes. 

2.       Do your 3 quests all build towards your main quest in little ways, or are you taking on too much? Do your quests have sub-quests or is it just one thing to focus on?

My main quests do all build towards my main goal, by helping me get healthier, stronger, and hopefully to change shape. 

3.       Are your main goals realistic? Can you scale them to smaller steps to fit your life better, even if it will make it take a little longer to achieve them?

I think that my goals are realistic.  They’re pretty much about maintaining the pattern I have going already. 

4.       Are your goals able to be measured and tracked?  What will you use to track them?

They are all measurable.  I’ll track my running using my zombie app, and my strength and food I’ll track manually.  Or perhaps I’ll create a spreadsheet (Spreadsheets FTW!)

5.       How are you grading your goals?  Are they pass/fail (“every dayâ€, “not even once over the six weeksâ€)?  Is there a reward for the effort, or are you only grading yourself on whether or not you “lose the weight†or “run the distanceâ€?

My running goal is pass/fail, but my others are more gradeable.  I think that at the end of each week I’ll look back over each goal and give a weekly grade. 

6.       What is your plan for continuing/altering/grading those goals if you become ill or injured?

My food goal I should be able to continue no matter what, but for my exercise goals,  I can either change the frequency or substitute something else if I’m really not able to meet them. 

7.       Did you take into consideration any special occasions (Labour Day, Independence Day, birthdays, anniversaries, etc) that may occur during the challenge?  What modifications do you need to build into your goals for those?

I don’t think that I have any particular occasions coming up that will affect me.  I just need to make sure that I have time to track and reflect each week. 

8.       Do any of your main goals conflict with each other? Will one goal make it hard to do another?

I think that the goals work well with each other. 

9.       Do you already have the time in your schedule to actually complete the goals you’ve set?  If not, what are you planning to do to make time for them?

I currently have quite a lot of free time, so this is a good time for me to be doing a challenge.  I do intend to timetable my exercise, so that I don’t forget. 

10.    Are you trying to build multiple habits, or is all your energy focused on your main quest?

I’m trying to build multiple small habits that will lead towards my main quest.  

Claireloise

Level 1 Amazon

STR 3 || DEX 0 || STA 3 || CON 1.8 || WIS 3.3 || CHA 1.5

Challenges: Current   Previous

Accountability: Cutlasses

 

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So, it was hot here today. It's still spring, but it was getting up to summer tempratures - I think it hit 37°C.  I'm blaming the temperature for my really tricky run today.  I'd planned on being up early, but by the time I got myself organised it was 10 or 11 and pretty warm.  I managed alright during the first half, but half an hour in I was exhausted and even walking was sending my heart rate up really high.  My dog was finding it pretty tricky too, and she's much fitter than me, so I'm taking some comfort from that.  Still, after a bath and a banana I was feeling recovered enough to go on with the rest of my day.  


 


I haven't done too well with my food choices today - there's an empty bag of chocolate chip biscuits sitting on my bed at the moment.  Biscuits and pastries are my nemesis - I don't seem to have any control when around them.  I just eat them all and then feel guilty, so they really aren't being very helpful to me at all.  But, I've recorded it all in my food log and I'll just have to move on to tomorrow.  


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Claireloise

Level 1 Amazon

STR 3 || DEX 0 || STA 3 || CON 1.8 || WIS 3.3 || CHA 1.5

Challenges: Current   Previous

Accountability: Cutlasses

 

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Running in the heat is tough, especially at the start of summer. Good to listen to your body and stop/slow down as needed. I ran an obstacle race several years ago in the heat of the summer in the middle of the day and 2 people died from heat stroke. It was awful. No exercise is worth risking your life!

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Great job getting out there! I do NOT do well in heat when it comes to running; hiking is the best I can manage and only if I have my Camelbak with me. 

 

Sweets are also a definite problem for me. I finally accepted that I just can't keep junk food in my apartment. I'm not the sort of person that can eat one or two and move on. All or nothing, baby! :P

Level 2 Human Hero (in training) 
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
- Arthur C. Clarke

Current Challenge

1st Challenge

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Running in the heat is tough, especially at the start of summer. Good to listen to your body and stop/slow down as needed. I ran an obstacle race several years ago in the heat of the summer in the middle of the day and 2 people died from heat stroke. It was awful. No exercise is worth risking your life!

 

Yes, much better to take it easy than to really mess myself up.  How awful about that race you ran :(

Tomorrow morning I'm really going to try to get out early for my run

 

 

 

Sweets are also a definite problem for me. I finally accepted that I just can't keep junk food in my apartment. I'm not the sort of person that can eat one or two and move on. All or nothing, baby! :tongue:

 

Thanks for dropping by. I agree - if something's not there I can't eat it!  Now, if only I could exert my willpower in the supermarket....

 

Hi Claire,

 

I know what you mean when you say "dispiriting" regarding your clothes. I hate that I can't fit into most of mine. And so it's definitely time for change.

 

Tracking your food daily is great, it increases your awareness of what, how much, and why you are eating.

 

Good luck ~

 

I'm sick of wearing trackpants all the time because nothing else is comfortable.  I have far to many clothes that just won't fit  :numbness:

 

I really need to sort out my eating, because a lot of the time I don't eat because I'm hungry.  I think it's emotional eating - don't feel bad, eat a pastry instead!

Claireloise

Level 1 Amazon

STR 3 || DEX 0 || STA 3 || CON 1.8 || WIS 3.3 || CHA 1.5

Challenges: Current   Previous

Accountability: Cutlasses

 

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Report: 22 November

 

I did my strength training today.  It took me half the morning to get myself started, but I made it in the end.  My dog was inside to escape the heat, and she was being extremely helpful - trying to lick my face as I was doing planks and whatnot.  I don't think dogs understand the concept of working out, somehow  :rapture: . I've just started doing side planks, and they are AWFUL!  Presently I can hold one for 2 seconds before collapsing in a heap.  I guess next time I'll aim for 3. 

 

I have been pretty sensible about food today, apart from a leftover biscuit or two.  I made a gigantic cheese and vegetable omelette for lunch - the kale didn't reduce down as much as I thought it would.  Really more of an egg salad, I think.  I ate out with my parents, which was nice, but somewhat tricky to track.  A third of this, 2 spoons of that... I gave it my best shot.  

 

It being close to midnight, I intend to shut down the computer soon and go to sleep.  It's meant to be another really hot day tomorrow.  My poor brother's going to be out there playing cricket - I hope he doesn't melt.  

Claireloise

Level 1 Amazon

STR 3 || DEX 0 || STA 3 || CON 1.8 || WIS 3.3 || CHA 1.5

Challenges: Current   Previous

Accountability: Cutlasses

 

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Report: 23 November

 

I began the day with a run today. Well, really more of a walk/jog, but I was moving at any rate. I got out at 8.30 in the morning, which was significantly cooler than last time.  I think I managed to avoid the sunburn  as well.  Most of the run was tough, but I did have a few moments of feeling good, like my body knew what it was doing and was working properly.  If only the moments would last longer!

 

The rest of today has been spent doing odd jobs.  I've partially assembled a bookcase, one of those wondrous IKEA flatpack things.  Hopefully I'll be able to store my books somewhere other than the floor soon.  I'm considering what to eat for dinner, but the motivation to make something isn't really there.  Is a mango sufficient for dinner?  :rapture: 

 

I'm feeling a bit tired generally, and my knees are aching somewhat.  I think that that tomorrow I might take a rest day, and let everything recover.  I only need to exercise 6 days a week to keep on track.  

Claireloise

Level 1 Amazon

STR 3 || DEX 0 || STA 3 || CON 1.8 || WIS 3.3 || CHA 1.5

Challenges: Current   Previous

Accountability: Cutlasses

 

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Weekly Analysis

 

Goal 1

3 runs this week, 2 of them in very unpleasant weather

Result: A

 

Goal 2

3 Strength workouts, seeing definite improvements

Result: A

 

Goal 3

I tracked something everyday this week, but I know that I missed out some of my food, particularly the unhealthy stuff, like biscuits.  So not a perfect record this week

Result: B

 

Life Goal

No progress on jobs.  However, I officially finish my training course tomorrow, so after that I should be able to start looking properly

Result: D

 

Overall, I'm fairly happy with this week.  The exercise has gone really well, and the food, while not perfect, hasn't been nearly as bad as some other times.  Only one packet of biscuits scoffed!  I'm not to worried about the job hunting - I'm putting my energy into finishing my course and making sure everything's ticked off.  

 

So, my first (partial) challenge week completed!  I think I'm still buoyed (ooh, good word!) by the energy of starting something new.  Let's see how next week goes.  

 

Claireloise signing out!

Claireloise

Level 1 Amazon

STR 3 || DEX 0 || STA 3 || CON 1.8 || WIS 3.3 || CHA 1.5

Challenges: Current   Previous

Accountability: Cutlasses

 

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Congrats on starting a challenge! I've been here for awhile and haven't made it that far even, so kudos. Good luck and keep it up!

"Strong in purpose and strong in action; strong within and strong without; strong against foes that are seen and strong against foes that are unseen; all the way up and all the way down, all the way around and all the way through; first, last and always—strong!"

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Report: 24 November

 

No exercise yesterday.  I decided to just give my knees a rest and concentrate on other things.  My right knee was a bit stiff and swollen, so I iced for a bit.  I did make some progress on my life quest - I went to the last day of my course.  Got everything ticked off, which is great.  

 

I think I did alright on the food front, even though I didn't really have dinner, just snacks at various hours of the afternoon/evening.  I also had a gingerbread man for morning tea, but I was conscious that it was a special "last day of course" occasion and that I was only having one.  He was rather cute, for a pastry man.  

 

Report: 25 November

 

I did my strength workout this morning.  I only managed 2 circuits instead of 3, due to poor time management.  But I'm slowly improving at my various exercises, even the dreaded side plank!  Later I had a remedial massage, which was very helpful.  Knees are much improved.  

 

Tomorrow I'm going to take my dog and go to stay in my parents holiday house for a few days.  This means I get to run on the beach! I haven't been away from the city for a while, so this will be a nice change.  

Claireloise

Level 1 Amazon

STR 3 || DEX 0 || STA 3 || CON 1.8 || WIS 3.3 || CHA 1.5

Challenges: Current   Previous

Accountability: Cutlasses

 

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You're doing great! Way to keep on track with everything, really. Ah, knee pain is such a...well, a pain in the arse! I had ACL/meniscus reconstruction two years back but the pain is still there... (I didn't stay off of it like I should've.)

Ah, but runs on the beach do sound quite lovely. Now I want to the beach and go running! And don't be worried if the heat's kicking your butt while you run, happens to the best of us!

As for clothes, I know your struggle. I've this cute little jacket and this amazing pair of jeans I haven't been able to fit into...I am going to fix that because by the Maker, it as an adorable little outfit!

Me + mint 'n' chip ice cream = you + chocolate chip biscuits. Just so good. Can't get enough. Ah, what was I saying? ...oh, yeah, I ran out of words a moment ago so just keep up the good work, y'hear? Stay aweshum!

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Jaz Xiao Long | Level 2 Assassin | Half-Giant
STR: 1 | DEX: .75 | CHA: 2.5 | CON: 5.5 | WIS: 2 | STA: 1.25
"We do what we need to do, and then we live." -Rick Grimes, The Walking Dead.
Current Challenge | Challenge 1

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Report: 26 November

 

I went for a run this morning.  The weather was much more running friendly, so I didn't die of heat exhaustion.   I think I'm making progress on the stamina front, which is great.  Some day I hope to be able to go out and run the whole thing at a nice easy pace, without my lungs giving up on me.  It's good to dream  :rapture:

 

I drove down the coast this afternoon, to spend a few days by the beach.  The 4 hr drive was a bit tough on my knees, which didn't like staying in the same position that long.  But I think being down here will be a good break, and let me focus on some things without some of the distractions of being at home.  

 

I tried out some of the techniques in the post I found for the week 3 mini-dungeon.  They were actually helpful - the smaller plate made my dinner look bigger, and sitting at an actual table and chewing my food more slowed my eating down.  I think I actually really payed attention to eating, something I very rarely do.  

 

I'm having a lazy evening on the couch, before heading to bed for, hopefully, a good sleep.  Beach time tomorrow!

Claireloise

Level 1 Amazon

STR 3 || DEX 0 || STA 3 || CON 1.8 || WIS 3.3 || CHA 1.5

Challenges: Current   Previous

Accountability: Cutlasses

 

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Congrats on starting a challenge! I've been here for awhile and haven't made it that far even, so kudos. Good luck and keep it up!

 

Thanks! I think doing a challenge is a good thing for me - I find that I look forward to reporting my progress each day.  

 

You're doing great! Way to keep on track with everything, really. Ah, knee pain is such a...well, a pain in the arse! I had ACL/meniscus reconstruction two years back but the pain is still there... (I didn't stay off of it like I should've.)

Ah, but runs on the beach do sound quite lovely. Now I want to the beach and go running! And don't be worried if the heat's kicking your butt while you run, happens to the best of us!

As for clothes, I know your struggle. I've this cute little jacket and this amazing pair of jeans I haven't been able to fit into...I am going to fix that because by the Maker, it as an adorable little outfit!

Me + mint 'n' chip ice cream = you + chocolate chip biscuits. Just so good. Can't get enough. Ah, what was I saying? ...oh, yeah, I ran out of words a moment ago so just keep up the good work, y'hear? Stay aweshum!

 

Those darn knees!  They just never seem to behave.  I'm resigned to having pain popping up at odd intervals, but I know that doing my exercises is the key to managing it.  

 

Now that it's nearly summer here, I want to get out all my summer clothes - but a lot of them don't fit  :nonchalance: Hopefully by the end of summer I will be able to wear many of them again.  Maybe even a swimming costume, for the freezing cold beach water.  

Claireloise

Level 1 Amazon

STR 3 || DEX 0 || STA 3 || CON 1.8 || WIS 3.3 || CHA 1.5

Challenges: Current   Previous

Accountability: Cutlasses

 

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Report: 27 November

 

A nice relaxing day today.  Even though the weather has been wet and rather cool, it's still nice being near the beach.  Something about the sea-breeze.  I did my strength training this morning.  I have adjustable dumbbells, but I don't like changing them too often between exercises.  So I'm doing many of my exercises at the same weight, which is easy for some and tricky for others.  

 

I also went for a walk on the beach this afternoon.  It was pretty deserted, so my dog had the whole beach to tear around on.  I also threw some sticks for her, which I am totally counting towards my Runner 5 group challenge! I'll go for a run there tomorrow, which should be something a bit different.

 

I'm doing really well with my food today.  I've had 3 healthy meals, including a chicken I roasted which is really tasty.  While I was in the supermarket yesterday, I bought more chocolate chip cookies, and a day and a half later.... 2 out of 6 remain uneaten!!  I realise that this may not sound that impressive, but given my past record, the fact that I didn't eat the whole packet in the car on the way here is definite progress.  

 

Onwards to tomorrow!

Claireloise

Level 1 Amazon

STR 3 || DEX 0 || STA 3 || CON 1.8 || WIS 3.3 || CHA 1.5

Challenges: Current   Previous

Accountability: Cutlasses

 

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Report: 28, 29, 30 November

 

Right, I've got a bit of catching up to do

 

On Friday I went for a beach run.  My calves found this rather stressful.  I then spent the rest of the day hobbling around the house and wincing.

 

Yesterday I did my strength exercises in the morning, which were trickier than usual.  I think I needed more sleep.  I also drank 6 cups of tea, in addition to water.  Such a lot of fluid! 

 

Today I had another beach run.  My calves were complaining a bit, but I made it through, at a good pace.  It will be strange to be back to shod running - maybe I can fit in some barefoot stuff in a park somewhere.  I then packed up all my stuff, including my box of weights which was a bit tricky to get into the car, and drove back home.  I'm glad I had some chicken pre-roasted, because it was a long and tiring drive and I don't feel like doing very much.  My knees also didn't appreciate spending so long in one position, and are twinging at me.  

 

Weekly Analysis

 

Goal 1

I went for 3 runs this week.  I'm now only 2 weeks away from finishing this app, which is exciting

Grade: A

 

Goal 2

I did my 3 strength workouts.

Grade: A

 

Goal 3

I've tracked my food everyday, and I think I've been pretty accurate.  I've started using an app, which has shown me how little protein and iron I'm eating.

Grade: A

 

Life Goal

I submitted 1 job application this week.  This is progress, but I'd like to submit a few more. 

Grade: C

 

Overall, a good week! I'm where I want to be on all my goals at this stage, and am still feeling motivated.  I'm enjoying that while it lasts, because motivation and I do not have a good track record.  

Claireloise

Level 1 Amazon

STR 3 || DEX 0 || STA 3 || CON 1.8 || WIS 3.3 || CHA 1.5

Challenges: Current   Previous

Accountability: Cutlasses

 

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Report: 1 December

 

I managed another strength workout today.  I did my pushups on  a desk instead of the kitchen bench, and they were haaaard. I managed 3.  Some exercises are getting pretty good - I'm getting really low on my squats and lunges.  We also put up the Christmas tree tonight.  Since it is December, I suppose this is allowable, but it still seems early.  It can't be nearly Christmas, I haven't bought any presents!

 

 

Report: 2 December

 

I had appointments with the exercise physiologist and the massage person today.  The exercise physio watched me run for a bit, and apparently much of it is good, but I need to take more steps and make my arms look less floppy (paraphrasing here).  The massage was, as ever, uncomfortable at the time but beneficial afterwards.  My calves still haven't completely recovered from my beach running, so they had lots of prodding.  

 

I meant to do my run as soon as I got home, but I procrastinated on the computer for a while, and by the time I got outside it was about 4pm.  It was also dark, thundery and ominous.  Perhaps foolishly, I continued undeterred.  So the dog and I ended up running in a thunderstorm.  Mae (my very energetic dog) thought this was a silly idea and kept trying to stop under trees, but I made her keep going.  Poor girl.  I was soaking wet by the time I made it back

 

So that was the good stuff today.  The bad stuff.... I've eaten so much food. SO much.  It was one of those days where I just seemed to have no control over myself.  I know this is my main problem with my eating - most of the time I choose fairly healthy meals, but sometimes I just binge.  Damn you cheese and bacon rolls!  I'm feeling a bit down about this, like I've just undone all the good work I've been doing.  It wasn't even that I was hungry - as I ate the last chocolate chip biscuit I felt sick in my stomach, but I finished it anyway.  Food is hard  :grey: 

 

In an effort to stem the flow of negativity, I am borrowing an idea I've seen on some other threads and am going to list some things that I did achieve today.  Hopefully this will keep me positive enough that I can try again tomorrow.

 

Victories

  • I finished assembling my new bookcase, and have put 4 books in.  These are only the first of many, I assure you. 
  • I have put away some clothes, thus continuing the ongoing quest of tidying my room
  • I have called a plumber to look at our tap

Claireloise

Level 1 Amazon

STR 3 || DEX 0 || STA 3 || CON 1.8 || WIS 3.3 || CHA 1.5

Challenges: Current   Previous

Accountability: Cutlasses

 

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Hey hey hey, we all have our deata, y'know? But here's a Phoenix Down and a few quarters to Continue before the 20 second countdown is up. :D

Nuce job running through your thunderstorm! Did it add to the ambiance of the whole zombie apocalypse n the background? Less floppy arms = keep 'em closer to your body, maybe?

Ah, but either way, you're doing good. Go give that Final Boss an reall ass kicking y'hear? Stay awesome!

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Jaz Xiao Long | Level 2 Assassin | Half-Giant
STR: 1 | DEX: .75 | CHA: 2.5 | CON: 5.5 | WIS: 2 | STA: 1.25
"We do what we need to do, and then we live." -Rick Grimes, The Walking Dead.
Current Challenge | Challenge 1

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Week 4 Mini-Challenge!


 


Although I started the challenge late, I am going to complete this anyway.  I may just level up to lvl 1 this challenge - I don't want to over credit myself


 


Part the First


 


Goal 1: Complete Zombies, Run! 5k app [+3 STA]


Goal 2:  Do Physio/Strength training 3 x week. [+3 STR


Goal 3: Track my food every day [+1 CON, +1 WIS]


 


Life Quest: Find a Job! [+1 WIS, +1 CHA]


 


 


Part the Second


 


Goal 1: I have done my 3 runs each week, and am on track to complete my app ahead of schedule! Thus, 100%


Goal 2:  I have also done 3 strength workouts every week.  Another 100%!


Goal 3: I haven't been happy with all of my food choices thus far.  But, my goal was to track, and track I have, every day, and I would say 80% of the time accurately.  Time enough next challenge to work on changing things up. So, I am awarding myself  80%


Life Quest: I have put in one job application.  I need to do more for this part of the challenge.  So only a 50% for this goal.


 


(I have no idea how these correspond to letter grades, we always used percentage grades at school


 


Part the Third


 


Goal 1: +3 STA


Goal 2:  +3 STR


Goal 3: +0.8 CON, +0.8WIS


Life Quest: +0.5 WIS, +0.5 CHA


 


Parts the Fourth and Fifth


 


I have changed my signature, and am now off to update the thread. 


Claireloise

Level 1 Amazon

STR 3 || DEX 0 || STA 3 || CON 1.8 || WIS 3.3 || CHA 1.5

Challenges: Current   Previous

Accountability: Cutlasses

 

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Report: 3 December

 

Well. An interesting day.  Achievement-wise I did alright, but emotionally? Eugh.  I had quite a lot to get done today - plumber, cat to the vet, psychologist appt, pest inspection, theatre with my parent, AND I needed to do my strength training. Plus it was hot and I nearly didn't have enough money to pay everyone and I got my psych appointment time wrong and turned up half an hour late.... really, I think the term stressful would be appropriate. 

 

I struggled my way through 2 1/2 circuits of my strength workout, and realised that I was running late to get to my parents and that I still needed to shower because I was amazingly sweaty.  And I had a little meltdown.  If anyone wants to read my mental health rantings, they follow below. 

 

I've been really doing a lot in the past month or so, since I came out of my most recent depressive episode, and I think I'm expecting too much of myself.  I usually set my expectations sky high - I should do my exercise every day and walk the dog and cook my food and have a perfectly tidy house and organise my clothes lose weight and eat perfectly and prepare for my uni subject coming up and of course BE HAPPY AND CHEERFUL DAMMIT! Naturally, one cannot live up to this level of perfectionism, so I get discouraged by my perceived setback, and start to get pessimistic.  If I can't even keep the kitchen tidy, my brain says, how can I possibly become a functional and happy adult with a job and friends and interests outside sleeping all day? I think the particular trigger that pushed me over the edge this afternoon was trying on some going out clothes, and finding that they don't fit.  (Also, trying to get dressed while in a hurry and still damp from the shower is a bad idea. Note to self)  So I immediately decided that I was a complete and utter failure and burst into tears, and unfortunately there was no-one in the house to complain to except my cat, who was less than sympathetic.  Rude boy.

 

So I ended up ringing my mum and having a bit of a tearful phone call and deciding to have a quiet night in, with delicious chilli con carne dinner.  After I finish my posting, my plan is to put dishes in dishwasher, play some Dragon Age: Origins, and go to sleep early.  And I am not setting the alarm tomorrow morning - I will wake up when I feel ready.  

 

Victories

  • I got stuff done today! We now have a drip-free tap and a vaccinated cat
  • I still ate pretty sensibly

Claireloise

Level 1 Amazon

STR 3 || DEX 0 || STA 3 || CON 1.8 || WIS 3.3 || CHA 1.5

Challenges: Current   Previous

Accountability: Cutlasses

 

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