Gut Punch

[Kaji]

I'll do my best not to make this into too much of a sob story, but here goes. 

 

I'm a college student right now, and it's finals season. My exercising schedule took a hit once winter started up, but exams are what really brought it down (by which I mean the last "normal" exams before finals season). I've been behind in my work for a bit so I was putting a lot of effort into catching up, doing a lot of unhealthy things like missing lots of meals and lots of sleep, and of course lots of trips to the gym. I've also been really focused on entering this big writing contest that's just for undergrads (First and second year students). I've been looking forward to this since I came here, since I want to be an author someday, and as a sophomore this is the last chance I'll get to enter. Next year I'd have to enter in the group that includes everyone up to graduate students (yikes).

 

This is the part where I'd like to say I submitted my entry and am happy to have had the experience, and I'm looking forward to my Final Exams now that the last of my normal exams are over. That's not how it happened. 

 

Instead, I did pretty terrible on my last exam in one class, which didn't do much good for my state of mind. My grades have been slipping in general and I apparently was not doing as well catching up as I thought. I didn't finish my story in time to enter despite staying up all night the night before, and if I want to pull my grade up in another class I'm going to have to finish not only the last homework assignment due, but also some extra credit work. To top it all off, if my grades don't go up significantly (Which means pulling a miracle on these finals), I'm probably going to get my scholarship money pulled, which would mean I have no idea how I'm going to afford to finish college. Also, I'm not 100% but I think I got shot down by a friend of mine I had one very awkward date with. Long story.

 

This is the part where I'm worried about this becoming a sob story. I've never been a very emotionally strong person, so I'm honestly not doing so good right now, but I have a wonderful family that's supporting me, and that's sadly more than a lot of people have. The reason I'm posting this is because sharing eases some of the pain, and I'm hoping it will be a good first step into giving this whole personal change thing another shot. I hate asking for help, because I feel like I don't deserve it, but if anyone has some words of encouragement, no matter how cliche, I could use some right about now.

[Keeon]

"missing lots of meals and lots of sleep, and of course lots of trips to the gym" Hey Kaji, try and change these things around. Don't miss your meals and get some rest. Know what you are going to do at the gym so your time is well spent. If you change these three things you will be better off.

[TheAccountant]

Emotionally weak people don't make it into college, period. At least not in the US. You are already at a point where you have done more than most.

You probably have to do some soul searching about your major or something else going on in your life. It's like fighters who don't make weight before a big fight. They train for years then, because they think they might not make it, the find a way to blow it.

 

This is a normal experience.

 

Also, check your ego about mediocrity. Some people who are very smart can start to fail because they think they might get a B or a C. Or something like that. It's amazing how much a normal, healthy human can sabotage their own life without realizing it.

 

Just think about what you may be subconsciously sabotaging. Are you taking a major that you don't want, or something that your parents wanted you to take? Do you want to punish yourself because of a failure in a relationship? Do you just want to get away?

 

I just think there is something below the surface. EVERYONE does this, there is nothing wrong with you.

 

I have to write at work sometimes, and I go through periods of major writers block. This is normally because they want me to write about something I don't completely agree with. It becomes very difficult. I stare at the computer like COME ON...WRITE SOMETHING...YOUR FAMILY NEEDS TO EAT....but family needing to eat does not inspire great work. creativity and passion are very hard to summon when there is something bothering you.

[TheAccountant]

Change to: PDazzles and senobdec's posts below are better than what I originally put in here. We are all pulling for you.

[senobdec]

I'm not going to try and psychoanalyze so I'll just tell you what helped me in college and hope this will not turn out too long.

1. Made a schedule for my last 4 weeks every semester putting priority on studying in the morning (whenever you are freshest) eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner (slow-cooked or precooked meals are your friend), evening study session, at least seven full hours of sleep time, and finally exercise routines in my room/house rather than gym which I found more convenient. No equipment, my own shower, and no transport time.

2. Sleep just after studying in evening. Dreamed about what I'd studied and often found it helped integrate the various components of the studied subject into a more complete conceptual framework.

3. Put phone on block except for family members. Actually that function didn't exist but I screened calls and had it turned off (not on silent) during study and exam time.

4. Keep a regular schedule. Do not vary your waking and sleeping times to fit your schedule. Set a time that is convenient to all your activities and THEN base your schedule on your sleep-wake cycle.

5. For your study sessions: always do a mini-review and test of previously reviewed material before covering new(er) material (e.g. read title of section and explain the content then work 1-2 problems per concept if applicable). Also finish session with a review and rest of the material covered in session. A simple oral quiz with classmates helps a lot. If you can find old tests this is a good investment, helps you know format, emphasis in tests, and manner of presenting your answer.

My exercise routine was generally only 1-2 days a week and only scheduled when I had actually had spare time which was rare. I tended to split it into upper/lower body and that was it. No more than 4-6 sets total for about 20 min. Efficiency is key.

Hope this helps. Hang in there and know that you are only capable of so much so prioritize. There is nothing wrong with you, you are a smart driven college student and you will make it through this. For writing, carry a small notebook at all times and just jot down anything interesting that you hear, see, or think of.

[Bernard Marx]

"This too shall pass." 

 

"You've got this."

 

When the hits keep on coming, all you can do is own the things in your control, and accept the things that aren't.

 

Did I give enough cliches? Seriously though, every person is stronger than their conscious mind realizes. Whether you're climbing a mountain, or trying to finish the semester strong, if you focus on the end result, it's easy to become overwhelmed and shut down. Get your priorities straight, know what matters the most to you, and make at least a little time for those things. Then focus on putting one foot in front of the other. Keep plugging away, and never give up. Some of the other posts above me had better concrete steps if you need more specifics, but I'll add myself to the voices in your corner.

 

You've got this.