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The Adventures of Ron Solo


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-=Begin Transmission=-


This is Ron Solo and you’re tuned into the ol’ Pork Chop Express. I’m your pilot on this beautiful journey through the stars. I’m here to tell you of the tales and challenges that this scoundrel faces as he flies around the galaxy. Currently, I reside on a planet named Dae’hanmingoo in the As’ia planetary system. I’ve been stationed here helping the local younglings in improving their understanding of Basic.


When I’m not enlightening the minds of youngsters, you can find me meditating, training my brain or finding other ways of improving myself. My current specs are 5’11†and 160 lbs. I’d like to build muscle and get rid of the baby gut I‘ve acquired from the copious amounts of late nights I’ve had in the past couple of years. I’d like to follow the way of the Battalions of Barbell; a transmission I received from the Nerds of Fitness.


Main Quest: Complete Rank One of the Barbell Battalion


Quest 1: Follow the Rank One schedule 3 days a week.

Measurement: A = 3 workouts, B = 2 workouts, C = 1 workout

Reward: A = +3 STR, +2 STA, B = +2 STR, +1 STA, C = +1 STR


Quest 2: Spinning class 3 days a week. I signed up for spinning at my gym because I like to ride my bike and this is a fun way to do it.

Measurement: A = 3 spin classes, B = 2 spin classes, C = 1 spin class

Reward: A = +3 STA, B = +2 STA, C = +1 STA


Quest 3: Yoga class 2 times a week. I would like to work on my flexibility, and I also signed up for this at my gym. If I can’t make it to yoga, daily night stretching should count for something.

Measurement: A = 2 Yoga classes, B =1 Yoga class, C = 7 nights of stretching

Reward: A = +3 WIS, +2 CON, B = +2 WIS, +1  CON, C = +1 WIS


Life Quest: Meditate daily. Even if it’s only for five minutes. I can do it as soon as I wake up.

Measurement: A = 42 days, B = 36 days, C = 30 days

Reward: A = +2 WIS, B = +1 WIS, C = +0.5 WIS


Motivation: I have found love in one of the local women of this planet and I’d like to look my best on the day we are to be united as one in their ritual practice of marriage. I want to look like James Bond walking down the aisle.


I can’t do it alone. Help me Nerd Fitness, you’re my only hope.


-=End Transmission=-

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