Sloth: The Man with the Hammer

[Bearlee]

You sir, Dullsville, NEVER! You could type up the phone book and still make it interesting. You always find the color inbetween the errands and blah blah blah that really make up your writing. We went to the zoo, dull, but you saw something colorful and shared it. Not as colorful as this:

 

But still colorful.

 

And how could you hide the link to the DZNuts? I almost missed it. For those that missed the link make sure you read this:

DZNuts Review by FatCyclist

And we need a recreation from you of the guys reaction to applying DZNuts.

 

 

[starpuck]

On 8/15/2018 at 12:16 AM, Sloth the Enduring said:

At the zoo I saw kangaroos doing it. They were surprisingly lethargic but long lasting, like sloths; they were not sproingy at all. 

Had been looking for a Sloth challenge, and finally realized you were battle logging it.  Came to check it out and ... omg, yup.  SO GLAD I DID.

 

On 8/16/2018 at 12:25 AM, Sloth the Enduring said:

Even fresh out of the laundry it smells like the inside of a hockey bag. 

I know this pain.   My hockey undergarments do the same thing.  Lift freshly laundered Jill out of washer... still wet from final rinse... sniff.  OH GOOD GOD THAT IS RIPE DEATH!   I really don't get how that happens.   I've tried everything on the shirts too, even the 'dry wick' 'anti-microbrial' blah blah.    The struggle is real.

 

Now that I know where you are!  Mwuahaha!

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

5 hours ago, Bearlee said:

You sir, Dullsville, NEVER! You could type up the phone book and still make it interesting. You always find the color inbetween the errands and blah blah blah that really make up your writing. We went to the zoo, dull, but you saw something colorful and shared it. Not as colorful as this:

 



But still colorful.

 

And how could you hide the link to the DZNuts? I almost missed it. For those that missed the link make sure you read this:

DZNuts Review by FatCyclist

And we need a recreation from you of the guys reaction to applying DZNuts.

 

 

When I was a kid I was at the zoo and we saw something similar except there was another kid in the blast zone who got Hippo crap all over him.

[Bearlee]

1 hour ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

When I was a kid I was at the zoo and we saw something similar except there was another kid in the blast zone who got Hippo crap all over him.

 

Stop it! I thought the video I posted was about the funniest thing ever, but if I ever saw that video I know I would die of laughter.

[Sloth the Enduring]

On 8/16/2018 at 12:56 AM, elizevdmerwe said:

It's tomorrow here already. I work on us being on avg 6-7 hours ahead of you guys. Will hold my thumbs and toes for her.

I had a good laugh reading through all this just now. Thanks for starting my day off on a cheery note.

 

Thanks. Your thumb holding must have worked; I’ll talk about it in my update. 

 

On 8/16/2018 at 9:58 AM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

That's oddly specific. How would that book help me if someone hurt me in say 12 steps?

 

On 8/16/2018 at 10:19 AM, shaar said:

 

oh my actual god this is a real thing too?!1!?1! DROP KICK ME JESUS there is a world of uh, sports-related body lubricants I never even knew existed............. this is FASCINATING STUFF.  You heard it here first folks, straight from Nerd Fitness.

 

 

A girl after my own heart.

 

They do sell kid-sized clothes.  Also online.

 

 

I sense a book writing opportunity in your future..........

 

@Tanktimus the Encouragercould write a whole series of books. 

 

Yeah, she’s a tiny, nine year old teenager.  

 

14 hours ago, Bearlee said:

You sir, Dullsville, NEVER! You could type up the phone book and still make it interesting. You always find the color inbetween the errands and blah blah blah that really make up your writing. We went to the zoo, dull, but you saw something colorful and shared it. Not as colorful as this:

 

But still colorful.

 

And how could you hide the link to the DZNuts? I almost missed it. For those that missed the link make sure you read this:

DZNuts Review by FatCyclist

And we need a recreation from you of the guys reaction to applying DZNuts.

 

 

 

The phone book? That is too much pressure.

 

That was funny, but the fart noise was added in. Hippos helicopter their poop as a sign of dominance and to mark their territory. We were at a zoo in Florida that had a “danger poop flinging zone” sign. We waited a long time (outside the zone), but did not see it. 

 

I tried to recreate it, but I just looked pissed off. I don’t apply it directly to my taint, or to my taint at all.  Instead I squirt some on the chamois.  You have to put the shorts on first.  If you apply the butt butter first it gets all over your legs and whatever grit is on your feet gets in your shorts and you are guaranteed an uncomfortable ride and boils on your ass. IME no matter how you ask her, your wife will not lance your butt boils for you. 

 

9 hours ago, Starpuck said:

Had been looking for a Sloth challenge, and finally realized you were battle logging it.  Came to check it out and ... omg, yup.  SO GLAD I DID.

 

I know this pain.   My hockey undergarments do the same thing.  Lift freshly laundered Jill out of washer... still wet from final rinse... sniff.  OH GOOD GOD THAT IS RIPE DEATH!   I really don't get how that happens.   I've tried everything on the shirts too, even the 'dry wick' 'anti-microbrial' blah blah.    The struggle is real.

 

Now that I know where you are!  Mwuahaha!

 

I’m glad you found me. I don’t find challenges motivating and now that I’m an old man and time has sped up, four weeks flies by. So I’m back here. 

 

RIPE DEATH, yes that is the term I was searching for. I’ve heard that washing them in baking soda does the trick, but I’ve never tried it. If I could afford it I’d bury them and buy all new Lycra. Soon enough it’ll be wool jersey time. 

[Sloth the Enduring]

Thursday

 

We brought Dilly in to get her leg chopped off and did a whole lot of nothing all day. Mid day we got a call from the orthopedic veterinarian surgeon.  Mrs.  Sloth said, “she gets to keep the leg”. The kids and I all got excited, “like in a big jar of formaldehyde?”  “Can we use the flesh-eating beetles to have a leg skeleton?” (Mrs. Sloth has a friend with a box of those beetles in her basement, I’ve never met her though.)  After a bit more confusion, she explained that the surgeon said that since she’s been getting along fine for so long he doesn’t see the need to amputate, but she’ll keep using pain meds on an as-needed basis for the rest of her life. That was both a big relief and a bit of a disappointment. Thanks for the thumb holding @elizevdmerwe.

 

I was planning on a long, flat ride, but once I got out there everything hurt like heck. I tried to ride it out, usually I feel good after ten miles or so, but it just got worse.  I ended up riding at an easy pace for 25 miles or so.  

 

Friday

 

We planned on going to the other zoo with the amusement park.  Mrs. Sloth had a groupon for cheap all-day wristbands.  But Slothboy is still feeling crusty from the sleeping sickness. So another day of nothing in particular.  I feel like I’m getting a precharge against the Hell that next week will bring, but the missus is terminally bored. 

 

I did pick up my new glasses.  They have a strong prescription and the thinning lenses so everything is a bit curved.  I’m stumbling around like I’m drunk.  I did not ask for that because I use my peripheral vision a lot when I’m teaching, but they are so much lighter and more comfortable that I’m going to keep them like this. The cool thing is they have prisms ground into them which gets rid of my double vision. I’ve always had double vision, but my brain would integrate the two eyes when it processed.  When I went on depression meds it stopped doing that. Seeing two of everything made mountain biking a bit more challenging. 

 

Two more biking related things related to the meds.  I’ve already mentioned that I’m really enjoying biking again and that my headspace is better, but I’m also riding a lot more aggressively. The second thing is bridges freak me the heck out.  There are a couple I can not ride over to save my life. When I’m on them, anywhere near the edge, I obsess about the harm that would befall someone if they fell off. If I see someone ahead of me I get scared that they’re going to hit their front brake and endo over the edge.  Even writing about it is making me a bit nauseous.  Don’t worry, I’m not thinking about any sort of bridge-related self harm. 

 

No ride; I think I’m still beat up from last weekend so I took an off day. 

[Elastigirl]

Sounds like you are doing a good job of bring up good science nerd kids.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

My mom has those prisms in her glasses too. I think she also noticed the double vision when she started taking anti-depressants.

[Snarkyfishguts]

I had no idea that they made glasses to correct double vision! How amazing! Is yours side by side or one on top of the other?

 

I'm glad no legs were lost this day. 

 

 

[Sloth the Enduring]

On 8/17/2018 at 8:12 PM, Elastigirl said:

Sounds like you are doing a good job of bring up good science nerd kids.

 

They’re all-purpose nerds. 

 

3 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

My mom has those prisms in her glasses too. I think she also noticed the double vision when she started taking anti-depressants.

 

Interesting, I wonder if that’s a thing. I really like it.  When I’m solvent again I’m going to get a pair of glasses that just have the prism and the bifocals to wear on top of my contacts. 

 

2 hours ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

I had no idea that they made glasses to correct double vision! How amazing! Is yours side by side or one on top of the other?

 

I'm glad no legs were lost this day. 

 

 

 

I’m sure Dilly is too. 

 

I didn’t either. Mine is side-by-side.  If I was looking at the moon I’d see another moved over about a third of a diameter.  

[Sloth the Enduring]

8/18/18; 8+1+8+1+8=26; 2+6=8 An angel number. Anyway, it’s Saturday

 

Remember that 5# I lost? It stayed off until now when it whooshed back on with a couple of friends. I’m sure it has nothing to do with the discovery that I can eat ice cream again (with lactaid). I expect I’ll get anxiety belly again next week and have to eat like an ascetic again. 

 

Kids are still crusty and Mrs. Sloth was having trouble because of the air quality. Another chill day. We did go out for pho and the kids got about a million books at the library. 

 

I went mountain biking and felt great for a little while. It felt like I was flying, but I gassed out early, maybe 10 miles in.  I ended up doing 13 miles out of the 20 I had planned. There were a bunch of young folks out today who had to stop to walk the technical sections* and I cleaned all those sections and powered through. I love showing up guys half my age. When I looked at Strava I expected a bunch of PRs, but Strava said, “Your old ass is slow.”

 

*There isn’t any actual technical mountain biking in this part of Minnesota.  

 

Song of the day.  This popped onto my Pandora on the way to the trail and I channeled @DrFeelgood and used it for my ear worm as I biked.  I’m not saying I sang “hey hey you you, I don’t like your girlfriend, no way no way, I think you need a new one, hey hey you you, I could be your girlfriend” over and over again as I rode down the trail, but I’m not saying I didn’t either. 

 

 

[Bearlee]

I like when biking season comes around and you start talking about it. Your enthusiasm for it is infectious and I want to learn a little more about the sport. Recently I watched the final stage of Tour de France (I know you don't like the race) and actually found it interesting. Currently I'm watching a series called Eat, Race, Win that is following the racing team Orica-Scott. It's split up into the team racing and the food truck that supports them at the Tour de France. I didn't realized the bikers were wired up to the team manager the whole time. I've even been looking up some of the teams online. Mostly team Sky since you said before I might like them. And if you listen to Podcasts, Lance Armstrong (whom I know you don't like) was on a recent episode of Freakonomics talking about his career and the sport of biking in general. I don't see much in the way of off road biking perhaps because it's more difficult to film. I may have to search YouTube to see if something comes up.

[Mrs Van]

On 8/18/2018 at 2:54 AM, Sloth the Enduring said:

she explained that the surgeon said that since she’s been getting along fine for so long he doesn’t see the need to amputate, but she’ll keep using pain meds on an as-needed basis for the rest of her life.

Pleasure about the thumb-holding (and prayers), but I have to say I'm in two minds about the decision. Obviously I'm not a vet, but I have too much experience with dogs in pain (and the cost of meds long term), and trying your best to get meds into them. But I'm glad she is ok, and pray that she finds a good home that will be willing and able to continue to medicate her.

Edit: Baking powder and fine corn flour can both pull out bad odours. You have to leave a thickish layer on the garment for a while (an hour or so?), then scrape (if it had absorbed fluids)/dust the powder off, and wash. If it's really bad you have to do it multiple times. I've read that white vinegar can be used if you soak something in it for a bit, and then wash.

[shaar]

On 8/17/2018 at 8:54 PM, Sloth the Enduring said:

 “Can we use the flesh-eating beetles to have a leg skeleton?” (Mrs. Sloth has a friend with a box of those beetles in her basement, I’ve never met her though.)  

 

I... uh.  Hmm.  Hmmmmm.  I'm morbidly intrigued.  *wanders off to Google............*

[jstanlick]

On 8/18/2018 at 9:35 PM, Sloth the Enduring said:

I love showing up guys half my age. When I looked at Strava I expected a bunch of PRs, but Strava said, “Your old ass is slow.”

That is a good feeling. No, I take that back. It's a great feeling! (The showing up the youngin's not the comments from Strava).

 

I've found Strava to be akin to a drug dealer. Tells you about all the PR's you're setting the first time you cover a segment, and then you chase those PR's again and again like an addict and it gives them to you less and less often. Jerk.

[Sloth the Enduring]

I’m. Officially a useful member of society again. Today is an all-day meeting day. 

 

After saying hi to five people I joked that I was all peopled out. It was funny because it was true. 

 

I automatically dislike the new second grade teacher because he has the job I want, but mostly because he looks like the bad guy in an 80’s nerd movie. 

[deftona]

4 minutes ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

I automatically dislike the new second grade teacher because he has the job I want, but mostly because he looks like the bad guy in an 80’s nerd movie. 

 

I bet he's British too. American movie villains are always British I mean cut us some slack. 

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

52 minutes ago, deftona said:

 

I bet he's British too. American movie villains are always British I mean cut us some slack. 

Not true. The most recent Superman is British. Dr. Strange is British. The one white guy in Black Panther is British.

Wait...

Well. Hugh Grant is the protagonist in some Rom-Coms from the 90s

[deftona]

7 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Hugh Grant is the protagonist in some Rom-Coms from the 90s

 

More evil is contained in Hugh Grant's foppish hair than in anything else in this sceptred isle. 

[Rooks]

1 hour ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

I automatically dislike the new second grade teacher because he has the job I want, but mostly because he looks like the bad guy in an 80’s nerd movie. 

 

[Sloth the Enduring]

He’s this guy:

[DJtrippyT]

I can't find the youtube where Eddie Izzard talks about the death star being stocked with british actors and so you'll just have to imagine it.

 

 

[jstanlick]

2 hours ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

He’s this guy:

Does it give you any satisfaction that Ted McGinley was/is the death knell of any TV show? Or that his hair is no longer blonde? No?

 

Well, all right, how about this, as I scroll down this page I see 3 hippo butts, Avril Lavigne, a karaoke bar owner (Donald Gibb) and Ted McGinley. That's gotta make you feel good, right? I mean, c'mon, where else but in Sloth's battle log would find such a combination?

[Elastigirl]

4 hours ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

I’m. Officially a useful member of society again. Today is an all-day meeting day. 

 

After saying hi to five people I joked that I was all peopled out. It was funny because it was true. 

 

I automatically dislike the new second grade teacher because he has the job I want, but mostly because he looks like the bad guy in an 80’s nerd movie. 

wow, summer went fast. 5 people, that's about my limit too.

[Sloth the Enduring]

On August 18, 2018 at 11:57 PM, Bearlee said:

I like when biking season comes around and you start talking about it. Your enthusiasm for it is infectious and I want to learn a little more about the sport. Recently I watched the final stage of Tour de France (I know you don't like the race) and actually found it interesting. Currently I'm watching a series called Eat, Race, Win that is following the racing team Orica-Scott. It's split up into the team racing and the food truck that supports them at the Tour de France. I didn't realized the bikers were wired up to the team manager the whole time. I've even been looking up some of the teams online. Mostly team Sky since you said before I might like them. And if you listen to Podcasts, Lance Armstrong (whom I know you don't like) was on a recent episode of Freakonomics talking about his career and the sport of biking in general. I don't see much in the way of off road biking perhaps because it's more difficult to film. I may have to search YouTube to see if something comes up.

 

They way Lance raced wrecked the tour.  Among other things, his team is the one that introduced radios; it took away about 98% of the race's spontaneity.  Races are pretty formulaic these days.

 

Eat, Race, Win sounds fascinating.

 

I stopped paying attention to bike racing during the Lance years, mostly for personal reasons.  I've been reading ancient blogs (remember those) from that era and have developed a more nuanced opinion of Lance.  I thought he was a doper ever since he was an amateur, but that isn't enough for me to dislike him.  Bike racing is held to a much higher standard than any other sport.  I mean, how many 300+# football players are not on steroids or growth hormones?  About none I'd guess.  The biggest thing about Lance was that he was such a bully.  But reading those old blogs, it seems like he was genuinely interested in helping people fight cancer, not looking for positive publicity like the cynical me thought at the time.  He is also accurate when he says he was treated much harsher than other dopers, like Marco Pantani and Tyler hamilton, while Levi Leipheimer and George Hincapie are still heroes.  

 

I don't listen to podcasts; listening puts about 5% 0f the information into my head.  But the mountain biking podcast most people listen to is Mountain Bike Radio, Singletracks Mountain Bike News seems pretty accessible.  I used to follow Sonya Looney.  She's an endurance racer.  She wrote some interesting stuff, but her podcasts might be more about motivational stuff these days.  There's a podcast called Life in the Peloton that seems like it'd be interesting.

 

On August 19, 2018 at 2:41 AM, elizevdmerwe said:

Pleasure about the thumb-holding (and prayers), but I have to say I'm in two minds about the decision. Obviously I'm not a vet, but I have too much experience with dogs in pain (and the cost of meds long term), and trying your best to get meds into them. But I'm glad she is ok, and pray that she finds a good home that will be willing and able to continue to medicate her.

Edit: Baking powder and fine corn flour can both pull out bad odours. You have to leave a thickish layer on the garment for a while (an hour or so?), then scrape (if it had absorbed fluids)/dust the powder off, and wash. If it's really bad you have to do it multiple times. I've read that white vinegar can be used if you soak something in it for a bit, and then wash.

 

She won't take a pill to save her life.  No matter how you hide it shell find it and spit it out.  But now that she's on a squirt of drugs, I think she fakes pain in order to get a hit.

 

When its a heat advisory day I come home with a layer of slime from my sweat partially evaporating.  I suspect the amount of baking powder needed to absorb the odor would be prohibitively expensive.

 

On August 20, 2018 at 10:37 AM, shaar said:

 

I... uh.  Hmm.  Hmmmmm.  I'm morbidly intrigued.  *wanders off to Google............*

 

Here's a short article from National Geographic.

 

On August 20, 2018 at 11:22 AM, jstanlick said:

That is a good feeling. No, I take that back. It's a great feeling! (The showing up the youngin's not the comments from Strava).

 

I've found Strava to be akin to a drug dealer. Tells you about all the PR's you're setting the first time you cover a segment, and then you chase those PR's again and again like an addict and it gives them to you less and less often. Jerk.

 

Hah.  This year I've been getting faster and faster* so I keep getting that sweet hit of PRs even though I tend to ride the same routes over and over again..  I've even beaten PRs I set in races a few years ago while on training rides.  Now that Im back at work that will come to quick end I suspect.

 

*Which isn't too say Im fast. Yet.

 

9 hours ago, deftona said:

 

I bet he's British too. American movie villains are always British I mean cut us some slack. 

 

Americans innately distrust foreigners.  It's an easy way to make a villain, but British is the only accent we can understand.

 

8 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Not true. The most recent Superman is British. Dr. Strange is British. The one white guy in Black Panther is British.

Wait...

Well. Hugh Grant is the protagonist in some Rom-Coms from the 90s

 

80's even.  I saw a ,lot of his movies from then, maybe all of them and I never understood his appeal.  He always seemed like a jerk.  Maybe that was the other movies conditioning me against British accents though..

 

8 hours ago, deftona said:

 

More evil is contained in Hugh Grant's foppish hair than in anything else in this sceptred isle. 

 

Quite.

 

8 hours ago, Rooks said:

 

 

Hahaha.  I love that movie.

 

5 hours ago, jstanlick said:

Does it give you any satisfaction that Ted McGinley was/is the death knell of any TV show? Or that his hair is no longer blonde? No?

 

Well, all right, how about this, as I scroll down this page I see 3 hippo butts, Avril Lavigne, a karaoke bar owner (Donald Gibb) and Ted McGinley. That's gotta make you feel good, right? I mean, c'mon, where else but in Sloth's battle log would find such a combination?

 

IKR, this is a fitness forum guys.  I wish y'all would stay focused.

 

5 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

wow, summer went fast. 5 people, that's about my limit too.

 

I'm just too used to my solitude right now.  The next couple of weeks are going to be very hard as I get used to peopling for a living again.  The summer seemed long enough this time, but I really wish we didn't start until after labor day.