Sloth: The Man with the Hammer

[Sloth the Enduring]

I shall squee unapologetically.

  Thanks for said squees.  

 

 

  [mass hysteria]

 

  I just read an article about the world’s most famous bike racer wandering around London without being recognized.

 

 

  I shall not squee, but instead give a mighty pirate YARRR. Pirate Yoga FTW! Glad I could inspire you to return to yoga with my uplifting log posts (maybe).

 

And shovelgloving just in time for the Hammer Race next weekend. May the two of you become well acquainted by then.

 

  The race was the impetus that made me pick up the hammer.

 

And yes, your yogaing helps get/keeps me on track. Ever since our PVP I’m irritated whenever you yoga more than me.[mention=30614]Shello[/mention] too. 

 

 

I had to look this up. Suddenly the thread title makes added sense... [emoji3]  

Forgive me, I'm new. [emoji14]

 

  Hah. Shovelglove is a bit obscure. I did it like six years ago when I started my comeback. I come back to it regularly.  

 

 

  I totally want to get on board this train... damnit.  Need clones to keep up with the wants.

 

  [emoji4] no reason why you can’t mix it in with your gym work. 

 

 

I remember when I thought shovelglove was a literal shovel on a glove and you went outside and dug around in the ground with your hands, your SHOVELGLOVES, to dig holes for whatever one would need a lot of holes for.  

Ah, memories.

 

  Have you ever shoveled a big hole. It’s a solid workout. Digging like a mole man should be a training program. 

 

 

I could have done a full-stop here and it might have been the best thing I read all day.  

This was a close second.

 

Also in the running.

 

Also: yesterday I bike-chased my friend from starting corral to finish line as he ran his first Twin Cities Marathon. My back is not happy with me today. I have the utmost respect for you.

 

  Thanks brother. Three or four hours is a long time to sit on a bike if you haven’t built up to it. 

 

 

  Recommended action: prepare to read various complaining about the hated but unfortunately vaguely necessary yoga.

 

  Lol. I like that you know me so well.  It’s all miserable Yoga. 

 

 

Mrs. Sloth, “Isn’t the Hammer Race this weekend?  Have you even been running at all?”

  In my defense I’m of the opinion that I can run a 10K in an hour without training.  It was true once and as I haven’t run a 10K in years I have no evidence to the contrary. 

 

 

Mrs Sloth  is a wise woman:smile-new:

  Indeed she is. My body would have dealt with the trauma better had I trained. 

 

 

  She should have included "[mention=27767]The Most Loathed[/mention] is going to destroy you at the race."

 

I really haven't seen enough banter between you two to be satisfied. Get to it.

 

  Hah. If you guys were going to race I would have trained at least a little. 

 

 

I decided that this year is a re-building year and I'm sitting the fall out.  The spring will be mine.

 

  Next year for sure. 

 

 

So did Hammer Racing happen this weekend?

   

 

[Sloth the Enduring]

Hammer Race

 

To;dr: Sloth dropped trou halfway through the race and wanted to grab a woman’s ass but instead pushed her off the wall. 

 

I can’t put this into a chronological order. Just like Chequemegon, this race zipped by like it was fast forwarded. I attribute that to improved headspace allowing me to have fun instead of bitching at myself. 

 

The race had a much smaller attendance than normal, maybe a third as many. And a lot of us used the deferred spring registration. I hope he didn’t lose so much money that he stops running the event. 

 

The weather was good. After 3 straight weeks of rain the sun finally came out. Because of the terrain it wasn’t too muddy, but the river was way too deep for a crossing.

 

I didn’t know how to dress. I started with wool socks, Lycra tights, wool base layer and gloves and I was freezing waiting for the start. About a quarter mile in I dropped the gloves. At the halfway mark we were near the start and I stripped out of my tights at the side of the race and was still sweating. 

 

The course was totally different this year. It seemed like there were a lot more places were you could run, but it might be that I have more fitness this year. The hiking was even more arduous than before. Most of the climbs/ descents had at least one spot that was ladder steep. 

 

Obstacles. 

They still don’t have enough hammer obstacles, but for the life of me I can’t thonk of any to add. 

 

The terrain and having to carry a hammer was the biggest obstacle.  I’ll tell you what, carrying an 8# hammer is about 900% lighter than a 12# hammer. 

 

There were three army crawls through enclosed spaces. One was so long it was pitch black in the middle. 

 

I’m weaker than I have been in past years. The strength obstacles killed me. They required a long recovery before I could run again.

 

The first was carrying a chunk of railroad tie up and down a big hill. @Rooks would have killed that.

 

Then carrying a full bucket of gravel from one side of a valley to the other and back. @The Most Loathed killed that last year. 

 

The last was an Atlas stone carry. I think it was 14”. It took me five tries to lap it and I waddled it about 8” off the ground. Then we hammered something and I had to bring it back which took another 5 tries. I should have sucked up my pride and used a little pink one.

 

They got rid of all of the gratuitous wall climbs leaving just one big one at the end. I jogged in the last 15 minutes or so with a woman who had trouble with the wall because she was a bit shaky at that point.

 

Since she couldn’t get up I boosted her onto the wall. She couldn’t quite reach high enough though. She was leaning back trying to reach for a hand hold and her ass was right in front of my face. I was about to push it to get her closer and higher but I didn’t know her. Instead I put my hands under one of her feet and boosted her. Too hard. She went up high enough but didn’t grab the top and instead flew off the wall and crashed on her back. After she recovered we tried it again, more carefully, and she got up and over. 

 

I’d guess I finished on the slow side of the mid pack bell curve.  

 

I have no more events this year so I’m closing out 2018.  I just registered for the next Wausau race which means 2019 starts tomorrow. 

[deftona]

31 minutes ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

Sloth dropped trou halfway through the race and wanted to grab a woman’s ass but instead pushed her off the wall. 

 

Yet more proof that when boys fancy you they are mean to you. 

 

Good job on the race, looking forward to 2019, you're so futuristic! 

[Elastigirl]

You may not have felt as strong as last year, but it sounds like your conditioning has improved, so I 'd say it was a win. I love how you tell your stories, it always makes me laugh. I can just see you trying to figure out how to help the lady

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Good job on that race. I'm glad you were able to enjoy it.

[Sloth the Enduring]

6 hours ago, deftona said:

 

Yet more proof that when boys fancy you they are mean to you. 

 

Good job on the race, looking forward to 2019, you're so futuristic! 

 

You know, I assumed she fancied me (‘cause that’s how guys are) but after I shoved her off the wall she didn’t stick around to be chatted up.

 

The lesson I’m taking from this is, when in doubt, grab the ass. 

 

Hah.  I can never just be in the moment, except occasionally when I’m biking, and am always thinking about the next thing. 

 

5 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

You may not have felt as strong as last year, but it sounds like your conditioning has improved, so I 'd say it was a win. I love how you tell your stories, it always makes me laugh. I can just see you trying to figure out how to help the lady

 

It was for sure one of my more awkward moments.

 

Conditioning has definitely improved while my strength dropped.  Months of biking and ignoring the KBs will do that. 

 

5 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Good job on that race. I'm glad you were able to enjoy it.

 

Thanks.  Fixing my brain has been a godsend. 

[Sloth the Enduring]

Let’s see if I can get back into a regular forum habit. 

 

10/14/18 Sunday

 

We had a real lazy Sunday. I’m feeling like I spent the night getting beat on with a sack of nickels so that was fine by me. Eventually the kids got bored and started fighting so we went to family day at the local museum. The slothlings weren’t too interested in the activities so* we walked around and looked at art objects.  On the way home we hit a playground and the kids went nuts in the giant net climbing thingie. 

 

no fitnessing today. 

 

Random bits:  The boutique bike shop I frequent is closing.  Nice guy ran it, a friend of a friend. He always sold me stuff below the Minimum Advertised Price and he was one of three people I trust to wrench my bikes. It’s actually two, but one is a good friend so... I’m planning on blowing my next paycheck on stuff I know I’ll need for next season (new tires and brake pads all around, at least one chain and cogs, a different size stem and handle bar, grips and bar tape all around, probably other stuff). I think I’ll buy him a nice bottle of something to thank him for the good service.  I’ll have to go back to my own ham-fisted wrenching next year because I can’t afford the other guy I trust. 

 

A guy at work found a bike frame in the woods.  He thinks someone stole it and stripped the parts. I’ll do some FB sleuthing, but I doubt I’ll find the owner. It’s was a nice bike, but not nice enough that the owner will want a stripped down frame. That will bring my total up to nine bike frames in the garage.  I should really sell off the stuff I don’t ride. 

 

Tomorow is conferences already. Worst day of the year.  What was I thinking when I decided to extrovert for a living?  DDP Yoga is all I have on the fitness docket. If I oversleep I’m not going to sweat it though. 

 

*I use so a lot, also I use a lot a lot.  I should expand my writing palette.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

10 hours ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

I should really sell off the stuff I don’t ride. 

 

I don't know much about biking, but I do know that frames can only be added, and never subtracted.

[starpuck]

That race sounds fun, and I am glad your head was kind enough to let you enjoy it.   I think I might have to steal that quote about doubt and ass grabs!

 

 

[EricMN]

19 hours ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

I can’t put this into a chronological order. Just like Chequemegon, this race zipped by like it was fast forwarded. I attribute that to improved headspace allowing me to have fun instead of bitching at myself. 

This is the best thing I read so far today.

 

Courtesy of my People In Green.

[Jittersthe.Clown]

3 minutes ago, EricMN said:

This is the best thing I read so far today.

 

Courtesy of my People In Green.

Funny. The guy on the right in the green shirt with the black and gray hat is one of my scout leaders. 

[Sloth the Enduring]

6 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I don't know much about biking, but I do know that frames can only be added, and never subtracted.

 

Hah. I have sold a few over the years, but at some point I always want them back for a project. But it’s getting a bit ridiculous. I’m sure I could get by with four bikes.  

 

6 hours ago, Starpuck said:

That race sounds fun, and I am glad your head was kind enough to let you enjoy it.   I think I might have to steal that quote about doubt and ass grabs!

 

 

 

Lol. If you try it out, let us know how it turns out. 

 

4 hours ago, EricMN said:

This is the best thing I read so far today.

 

Courtesy of my People In Green.

 

Thanks brother. It seemed like your crew was half the race. 

 

4 hours ago, Jittersthe.Clown said:

Funny. The guy on the right in the green shirt with the black and gray hat is one of my scout leaders. 

 

Thats Dan-O.  I was behind him for most of the race until a strength obstacle trashed me and I slowed down. 

 

The guy to the right of me in the rust shirt is a mountain bike instructor. I know him from our kids dance class. Every year he beats me by a bit. Fucker. JK, he’s a nice guy and I could train if I really wanted to beat him. 

 

—————————

 

As you might have guessed I slept in. No fitnessing. I’ll be a babbling pile of goo after the conferences.  No fitnessing tonight either. 

 

My legs are still trashed from the hills. I wince with every stair step. Luckily I only work on the fourth floor. 

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

1 hour ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

My legs are still trashed from the hills. I wince with every stair step. Luckily I only work on the fourth floor. 

You have my sympathies

[Sloth the Enduring]

52 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

You have my sympathies

 

That is pretty much what happened when I first tried the stairs this morning. 

[shaar]

I read this too fast

 

20 hours ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

I’m feeling like I spent the night getting beat on with a sack of nickels so that was fine by me.

 

And thought it said

 

20 hours ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

I spent the night getting beat on with a sack of nickels so that was fine by me.

 

And had a few pressing questions until I went back and actually re-read the sentence properly........

[Bearlee]

So I saw somewhere drone footage of the start of the Hammer Race. Was there only about 30-40 people there because the pack didn’t seem very big? Or were there stages? Loved the race review and loved the comment about clear headspace more. And proud to see you repping the NFers with your race shirt. Are you back on meds or is just having a less stressful class the thing that helped? Sorry to hear about your bike shop closing.

[Shello]

On 10/14/2018 at 1:53 PM, Sloth the Enduring said:

 

And yes, your yogaing helps get/keeps me on track. Ever since our PVP I’m irritated whenever you yoga more than me.[mention=30614]Shello[/mention] too. 

You need to get on the yoga bandwagon.  

 

On 10/14/2018 at 2:45 PM, Sloth the Enduring said:

 

Since she couldn’t get up I boosted her onto the wall. She couldn’t quite reach high enough though. She was leaning back trying to reach for a hand hold and her ass was right in front of my face. I was about to push it to get her closer and higher but I didn’t know her. Instead I put my hands under one of her feet and boosted her. Too hard. She went up high enough but didn’t grab the top and instead flew off the wall and crashed on her back. After she recovered we tried it again, more carefully, and she got up and over. 

 

You really have a thing for grabbing asses at the HammerRace.  Good job on the race.  I saw that drone footage too and I was a bit jealous until I read your write up about the terrain.  

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

1 hour ago, Shello said:

You really have a thing for grabbing asses at the HammerRace. 

FTFY

[Sloth the Enduring]

On 10/15/2018 at 6:37 PM, shaar said:

I read this too fast

 

 

And thought it said

 

 

And had a few pressing questions until I went back and actually re-read the sentence properly........

 

Lol. I could write more clearly, the phone isn’t a great medium. 

 

On 10/16/2018 at 5:08 AM, Bearlee said:

So I saw somewhere drone footage of the start of the Hammer Race. Was there only about 30-40 people there because the pack didn’t seem very big? Or were there stages? Loved the race review and loved the comment about clear headspace more. And proud to see you repping the NFers with your race shirt. Are you back on meds or is just having a less stressful class the thing that helped? Sorry to hear about your bike shop closing.

 

The drones followed the elite wave.  There were another hundred or so in the wave behind. 

 

I always rep NF here. I figure if there are local nerds I don’t know they’ll show up there. 

 

The meds are making a huge difference. 

 

On 10/16/2018 at 11:43 AM, Shello said:

You need to get on the yoga bandwagon.  

 

You really have a thing for grabbing asses at the HammerRace.  Good job on the race.  I saw that drone footage too and I was a bit jealous until I read your write up about the terrain.  

 

The race was great. I wish you were there. The terrain was epic, way worse than last year. Pull the tire up and down death hill and you’ll be ready. 

 

When you show up next time I promise not to grab your ass. Unless you’re into that sort of thing...

 

23 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

FTFY

 

Hah. That was my thought. 

[Sloth the Enduring]

10/16/18 Tuesday

 

no fitnessing was planned. I’m too jagged after conferences. 

 

Conferences went well. Almost everyone scheduled showed up and we had a bunch of drop-ins. I didn’t have any particularly difficult ones, just a bunch of kids who’d rather play video games than do homework. 

 

Today’s a flex day. I just got back from my own kid’s conferences. They seem to be smarter than me. 

[Shello]

1 hour ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

 

The race was great. I wish you were there. The terrain was epic, way worse than last year. Pull the tire up and down death hill and you’ll be ready. 

Worse than last year?  Yeah, every last bit of jealousy has dissipated.  

 

1 hour ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

When you show up next time I promise not to grab your ass. Unless you’re into that sort of thing...

I didn't say I was opposed to it... especially since the alternative is being thrown off a wall.  

[Xena]

On 10/14/2018 at 2:53 PM, Sloth the Enduring said:

Ever since our PVP I’m irritated whenever you yoga more than me

 

"yoga"??

[Xena]

On 10/15/2018 at 7:37 PM, shaar said:

I read this too fast

 

 

And thought it said

 

 

And had a few pressing questions until I went back and actually re-read the sentence properly........

 

That made me laugh really hard. Out loud.

[The Most Loathed]

I'm bummed that I missed the atlas stone carry. One more thing I can school most folks on. The spring race is mine!

[Sloth the Enduring]

I keep seeing articles, ads, and posts about the RipRow.  Someone convince me it’s no better than a giant shake weight before I break out the credit card.  

 

Outside: RipRow article.