Our.Lady.Of.Ashes in Training

[our.lady.of.ashes]

I am wholly and completely terrified of this journey. Not because I could fail, but because I could succeed and then more will be expected of me. Part of me wants to stay exactly where I am. Declare I'm too old and crippled to make these kinds of changes and sit on the couch eating potato chips. Then there's the part that's whispering 'we can do this, it isn't that hard'. I'm fairly convinced that little voice is either outright lying or sugarcoating the truth. I guess I'll find out which. 

 

First quest: Diet information. If diet is 80% of success, I need to get on that asap. Traveled to the local library and picked up "The Paleo Diet" and read it. Quest 1 part 1 complete diet knowledge expanded. I'm not sure if that's the right diet for me or not, but I'm willing to give it at least 30 days to impress or deject me. 

 

Second Quest: Walk to Mordor I walk everyday usually at least three miles. Now I will start logging my miles to put them on a spreadsheet and see how far I can go. ONGOING

 

Third Quest: Strength Working on the getting the beginner body weight workout in my week at least three times. ONGOING

 

Here we go. How did we do today?

 

Today was not a good day for the diet. I ate all of my calories at breakfast. I ate in IHOP, this was a bad idea. I have also had a slice of cheesecake today which is a Paleo no-no. Maybe I should have waited until the holidays were completely through before I decided to change my diet. 

 

Logged 3 miles walking. I'm still meandering my way toward the edge of the shire. At least the scenery's pretty. 

 

Today wasn't a strength day. 

[jengetsit]

I can totally relate to feeling old, crippled, and sitting on the couch eating potato chips! LOL

 

We all gotta start somewhere, though, right? 

 

I'm not familiar with the Paleo diet. My philosophy on dieting is to keep it as simple as possible. What works for me is just setting a calorie limit and plan my meals around that limit. I can eat whatever I want, but I have to stay within my calorie limit. I have found it helps to track all of my calories, pretty much everything I put in my mouth including creamers, sauces, and jam. There's something about writing it all down that makes me want to choose healthier options. 

 

Good luck!

[our.lady.of.ashes]

I can totally relate to feeling old, crippled, and sitting on the couch eating potato chips! LOL

 

We all gotta start somewhere, though, right? 

 

I'm not familiar with the Paleo diet. My philosophy on dieting is to keep it as simple as possible. What works for me is just setting a calorie limit and plan my meals around that limit. I can eat whatever I want, but I have to stay within my calorie limit. I have found it helps to track all of my calories, pretty much everything I put in my mouth including creamers, sauces, and jam. There's something about writing it all down that makes me want to choose healthier options. 

 

Good luck!

I'm trying to do better about my diet, but I'm having a little bit of trouble staying on any set of rules.

Day 2

Diet: did better about keeping up with what I eat, didn't eat all my calories at breakfast either. Skipped breakfast because I wasn't hungry and at a total of 1,500 calories.

Walk to Mordor: got my mileage in. Even took the dog.

Strength: didn't do my body weight workout because my thighs still hurt from the other day. Hoping to be able to do tomorrow.

All in all, an unspectacular day.

[our.lady.of.ashes]

Day 3

 

Diet: I've been consciously logging what I've been eating in MyFitnessPal, so I have a better idea of how many calories I've been consuming over the past week or so. I'm still struggling with the Paleo diet because there are three different people in the house and three different diets that have to be taken into account. In short, lots of things that I'm not supposed to be eating. However, I have been making my calorie goals so it isn't a complete fail. I feel more confident in my ability to control what goes into my mouth, so that's good.

 

Walk to Mordor: Three more miles so I've made it 9 miles so far. Got a long way left to go. Downloaded RunKeeper so I can keep a better eye on how far I'm getting everyday. 

 

Strength: Did the Beginner Bodyweight Workout. I can get through one round and even that feels like a stretch some days. My thighs have hurt for three days. I don't know if I've already strained something. I hope not. It may just be one of those 'You are out of shape; things. Hopefully, it's just that and it will improve if I push myself a little. 

 

Notes: First day of the New Year. Trying to be better. 

[our.lady.of.ashes]

Notes: I've missed a couple days. I did get my walking in every day and I'm still struggling with getting enough calories in my diet. I simply don't seem to eat enough when I'm watching what I'm eating and not just eating because I'm bored or anxious. 

Yesterday, DAY 5

 

Diet: Ate one large meal which was only 600 calories. I've got to do better.

 

Walk to Mordor: Got my walk in. I'm now approximately 15 miles along. I have to update the spreadsheet. 

 

Strength: Wasn't a strength training day.

 

Today, DAY 6

 

Diet: Trying to make sure I get enough calories today. Going to make a specific goal to get at least 1000 calories in today.

 

Walk to Mordor: Already logged 2.5 miles today. Trying to get to 10,000 steps to satisfy a goal day on my Fitbit. Sis challenged me, so I wanna make it at least that far. 

 

Strength: Did one round of the Beginner Weight training workout. Still struggling with form on push ups. That seems to be the hardest part, that and squats. I can't do them without lifting my heels off the floor. It's enough to make me want to give up and go on to something else, but I'm gonna push through. Eventually I'll be ready to start trying to do the second round without stopping. Maybe once I have the routine memorized and can do it without having to refer to my sheet for the exercises and reps. 

 

Notes: Got a Fitbit for Christmas. Now I can more accurately log how far I'm getting every day as I walk. It's also linking up to MyFitnessPal so I can keep my diet information and my walking/exercise information all together. This may be a breakthrough. 

[our.lady.of.ashes]

Heading over to my challenge thread for the next six weeks. http://rebellion.nerdfitness.com/index.php?/topic/58283-lady-ashs-first-challenge/

[our.lady.of.ashes]

Workout Day

Beginner Body Weight Workout

20/20/20 Squats

12/12/12 push ups

20/20/20 lunges

12/12/12 dumbbell rows

15/30/22 planks

32/32/32 jumping jacks

 

Still can only power curtsy on the squats. The lunges are giving me trouble as far as form is concerned and endurance, by the time I get to the third round I'm stopping every couple to get the form back right and because I'm breathing hard. Planks are turning into the bane of my existence. I just cannot seem to make consistent gains there. Oh well, honor the body where it is and keep working on it. I have no other choice. I am however making good gains in my push ups. Set a new record with 12 knee pushups. And the dumbbell rows are coming along nicely. I'm already investigating investing in a larger weight or making one. 

[our.lady.of.ashes]

Workout day (a day late)

 

20/20/20 squats

13/12/10 push ups

20/20/20 lunges

13/13/13 dumbbell rows

30/30/15 plank (dog helped out on the last one)

33/33/33 jumping jacks

 

I managed to get in 13 push ups on round one, but two and three just weren't cooperating. Gives me something to push toward. I was doing fine on my planks until the dog decided to help me out. Oh well, I can almost do 30 seconds consistently. However, I am making progress on the jumping jacks. That's good. Still power curtsying the squats and the lunges make me wanna stop every couple, but I'm getting there. Just gotta keep working. 

[our.lady.of.ashes]

Still struggling with the food issue. I don't want breakfast most of the time, but by the time I get around to eating it's 2 in the afternoon. Especially lately. Looking forward to my workout tomorrow so I can see me make some progress. I need a happy.

[our.lady.of.ashes]

Workout Day

 

20/20/20 squats. I have found that if i do a sumo squat position, I can get down lower without my heels wanting to come up as hard. I may modify this move to be a sumo squat on a regular basis so I can get more benefit from the move.

 

13/13/10 push ups. I have made a pact with myself that no matter what I will get at least 10. No matter how bad my shoulders want to cry foul.

 

20/20/20 lunges. My form is improving. If I slow down just a touch and get the form correct, I can still move through them pretty quickly.

 

14/14/14 dumbbell rows. Still making consistent progress. I need to make a heavier weight. I'm about to hit my 15 set max.

 

30/20 sec planks. I didn't get my third plank in because the children came home and I had to truncate my workout to still get my stretching in.

 

33/33 jumping jacks. I didn't get my third round of jumping jacks done either because of the kids. Did however get my entire cool down, so I still count it as a win.  

[our.lady.of.ashes]

Second 6 week challenge can be found HERE.

[our.lady.of.ashes]

First workout off the Six week challenge. It wasn't stellar, but my workout before that was abysmal. I think it has something to do with my eating habits. I'm gonna try tweaking and see if I can make more gains. Right now I'm stalling.

 

20/20 squats. 5/1 push ups. 20/20 lunges. 20/20 dumbbell rows. 30/6 plank. 56/56 jumping jacks.

 

Now to get my yoga in before I shower. 

[our.lady.of.ashes]

Did my yoga while my tea was brewing, so it was short, but it got me all stretched out for this morning. I woke up even earlier than I usually do just to see if I could manage it. The last time I tried, I got up and went back to bed for another two hours. It just didn't work out the way I wanted. So today, I got up at 6:40. So far, I haven't been too plagued by the need to go back to bed, probably because I have now had tea with caffeine. 

 

Things I need to work out: Picking out my stuff for the next challenge, it's less than a week away. I'm scared that I'm going to try running and fail, but I think that needs to be one of my next goals. I'm not training for a 5k, not yet anyway, but to be able to run around the block would be kind of fantastic. I know I'm going to do an eating goal because I've seriously let my eating slip and I don't think I'm getting enough calories every day. I know starvation mode is a myth, but I still don't think I'm getting enough calories to function efficiently. Now I just have to figure out what my third is. I might see about upping my yoga to 15 minutes a day, more sun salutations. Right now I'm only doing about five minutes. It's an easy practice, but I can try harder. 

[our.lady.of.ashes]

20/20 squats. 3/4 push ups. 20/20 lunges. 20/20 dumbbell rows. 30/11 plank. 57/42 jumping jacks.

 

Something is definitely hampering my performance. I'm not making gains like I should, at least not the way I see it. I definitely think it has something to do with my eating. I do intermittent fasting, so I'm usually not eating before I work out, but I also didn't get a lot of calories yesterday, so maybe that's it. Either way, I've got to spend more time on food so that I can do better. I'm just terrified if I eat a lot more, I'm going to gain more weight that I will have to lose. Ugh. I can't make strength gains without more food. I don't want to do more food because of possible weight gains. It's a vicious cycle. 

 

I'm still trying to figure out what my goals are for the next six week challenge. I've got until Monday to figure it out if I want to start off at the beginning. I just don't know what I want to do. I know I need to do better about tracking my food until I can get to somewhere that it becomes automatic. I thought I had that after the first challenge, but at the first sign of adversity, I fell apart. I also think I'm going to do a running challenge, even if its only to try and run around the block once a day. Anything to help start building up my endurance. Number three is the one I'm stuck on. What should I do for number three? I've already got a pretty good workout habit. I try not to miss two days in a row but I think my workouts could be harder. So maybe the workout only counts if I do at least three rounds of the BBWW. That will mean it will take longer, so I will have to budget more time to do it. It takes me about ten minutes to do each round, not counting warm up, cool down or time between rounds. So that's 30 minutes. 5 minute warm up and cool down adds another 10. So that's a minimum of 40 minutes to do this workout properly. I think I can manage it. It's just a question of will my body hold out. 

[our.lady.of.ashes]

20 squats. 5 push ups. 20 lunges. 20 dumbbell rows. 17 plank. 0 jumping jacks.

 

Was not a stellar workout day. However, I did get a lot of walking in and bonding time with my mother, so there was that. I've got my challenge thread up. It's my 3rd challenge. I think it looks pretty good. It's going to be a lot especially since a couple of them are every day challenges. Yet I think I can make it. All I have to do is put in the work. 

[our.lady.of.ashes]

Back after a long break. I've allowed the pounds to creep on. I'm at 165 now which is a long way from where I want to be. However, that's okay because it is fixable. I just have to get back on the wagon and make sure I'm making strides toward getting to my goal.

 

News since I last updated: I got engaged. Like there is a wedding in the making engaged. He's a wonderful guy who treats me like I'm super special in a wonderful way. We've been dating a little over six months and though to me things are happening a little fast, I'm not overwhelmed which means that even though it seems fast it is still the right pace. Like I said, my weight has crept up and that's a bad thing, especially now that I'm going looking for a dress. (The wedding isn't for a year and a half, so I can buy the dress, lose some weight, and have it taken in with little trouble.) Though I'm not sure yet, I think I'm going to try going full paleo again and see if that will jumpstart my weight loss. It worked last year when I was trying to get my weight down below 150. I also want to get stronger. Debating on a gym membership. I can afford one now so I might need to get on that, which will also help me to get my weight down. Since 2014, I have published three books, a book of short stories, and a short story of 17k words. I'm on track to publish at least another two books this year, so as far as certain goals are concerned I'm making headway. Still not making a lot of money off the books, but I'm starting to get some traction with the short story. 

 

So gameplan: My fitness pal to track the food. Here at my daily battle log to track the workouts. theknot.com for all the wedding details. If I need to remember why I'm training, it's to not die in the zombie apocalypse that our mighty silicon overlords are going to unleash upon us to cull the human race. 

[our.lady.of.ashes]

First day on new plan. Had oatmeal for breakfast cause I had to take the car in to be serviced, so I was already out. Need to pick up some oatmeal so I have it at home. I went and joined Planet Fitness, so that I have a base of operations for the new physical stuff. I've got food in the fridge I need to eat, but I'm going to be careful not to overeat on it. Gotta keep an eye on my caloric intake.

 

Walked 2.5 miles so far today on top of regular activity, so I'm doing pretty well. 

 

Apparently my period has decided to come every other month, so I just found out I'm bleeding again. This makes me a little anxious because I wonder if it signals something being wrong with me that I need to address. Of course, it could just be that my system is reacting to the medication which my doctor says is suppressing my period. I think I may need to see an gyno and talk to her about that. Knowing for certain what is going on would be a good thing. 

[our.lady.of.ashes]

Went to Planet Fitness and did a Build Your Own Plan session with a trainer. It focuses on the use of machines, which I do not like; however, it gave me the accountability of having a trainer show and tell me how to do a number of things I can advance toward my own fitness. Basically what I'm going to do now is learn how to do the exercises without the machines (using free weights) and work on my muscle structure that way. However, it was a useful session. 

 

Today:

Chest Press: 4 sets at 12x10lbs

Rows: 4 sets at 12x40lbs

Shoulder Press: 3 sets at 12x25lbs

Leg extension: 4 sets at 12x25lbs

Leg curls: 2 sets at 12x10lbs, 2 sets at 12x25lbs

Leg press: 4 sets at 12x25lbs

 

He recommended the crunch machine to us as well at 3 sets of 25, but I did the 12 minute Ab workout through there yesterday when I went and didn't want to overdo it on my ab muscles. 

 

Had one of my favorite salads today, the Blue salad with buffalo chicken from Zaxby's. Is it super healthy? Not really. Do I still love it with all my little bad food for me heart? Oh yes. It is also my day for writing group, so there may be other things, which I may need to avoid, on the menu for tonight. All depends on what the other girls bring with them. I think the worst part of the salad is that it comes with super yummy toast. Bread. Oh bread. How I love thee. 

[Gaming_Jeweler]

Let me know how the Planet Fitness training works out. I'm looking at joining my local one late summer or early fall. I love the blue buffalo salad at Zaxby's too. Have you found any dresses you like yet? It took me a long time to find mine. 

[our.lady.of.ashes]

 

Let me know how the Planet Fitness training works out. I'm looking at joining my local one late summer or early fall. I love the blue buffalo salad at Zaxby's too. Have you found any dresses you like yet? It took me a long time to find mine. 

So far, I'm liking Planet Fitness. One thing I am wondering about though is whether or not I have the capacity to push myself. I seem to be a little scared to break a sweat, which cannot be good for my ability to really see progress. As far as dresses go, I've been shopping on JJ's House to see if I can find silhouettes that I like before I go actual dress shopping. I've found a few that I agree with. Plus it means if push comes to shove, I can always order the dress online and then take it to a tailor once I have it in my hands. 

 

Took a few days off from the website. I went to the gym four times last week. Mon, Tues, Thurs, Fri. I did strength training three out of those four days. Monday didn't really count because I was mostly there just figuring out where stuff was and how to go about getting what I wanted. However, Tuesday I went and got a training program put together, so I'm hoping that following it with a few modifications will help me start to reach my goals of bringing this weight down and reshaping my body. I know I've got a lot of months ahead of me, but I'm hopeful for good results. Today,  Monday, I have had a hard time getting motivated. I think I may be on the verge of a depressive episode, which is not good. However, I am getting up and going to the gym because that was on my plan for today. I am also going to strip my bed and prepare to do laundry tomorrow. On top of everything, I'm going to see the fiance and his daughter this afternoon. Long story short: Fiance found out he's the father of a six month old baby girl by a former girlfriend. The baby has prospective adoptive parents who have her right now, but he gets visitation, so we're going to go spend time with the baby. He's happy. I'm happy for him. 

 

I don't know where else to put this, so I will put this here. I am tired of being chunky and out of breath all the time. I'm so tired of looking at my body and wanting it to be slimmer. My belly offends me. Do I have reasons to have a belly? Yes. Too much medication, too much food, too little effort. Am I blaming my meds for making me fat? Yes, a little. Do I realize I need to work harder to get what I want when I'm fighting an uphill battle? Of course. Yet I'm afraid if I give it my all, I will still fail. I'm just going to be pudgy for the rest of my life. At least until I have a baby then I'll probably do what my mother did and develop a much worse weight problem. I don't want to become like my mother, terrified of having my picture taken in case it should reveal I have a far less than perfect body. A couple months ago, I challenged myself to take pictures in my underwear in order to really see my belly. Do I have a huge pot belly? No, it just hangs over my underwear a little. I have thick thighs, which are a little doughy, but not terrible. My arms and shoulders are well defined. I don't have a roll of fat along my back. In fact, if it weren't for the belly, I would say I have a pretty good body. Except I have a belly that makes me not want to wear a swimsuit. I also dream of eventually cosplaying, but female superhero material I am not. Too short, too thick, too fat. This is me whining. God loves my body. He made it. He gave me every dimple, every stretch mark, every bug bite. I would dare to say he's proud of it for carrying the creature he created. Maybe, along with doing some work to feel more like a superhero, I need to cultivate a God view of this body I'm in. Perfection by the world's standard, not even close. Perfect according to the specs God put out there for me, the one and only, exactly. Prayer, consistent prayer, is a little hard for me. I never seem to be able to find the time or the right words or a clear enough head, but I am going to pray for my body image issues and open my heart to the healing that comes from being aware of God's view of my body. He doesn't care if I look a little pudgy in a swimsuit. He cares that I own the body I'm in with all of its perfect and imperfect pieces. He loves all of me. Therefore, I should not spit in God's eye and say I don't love what he has given me. Here goes nothing. 

[Shello]

first off - congrats!  The right one is always out there somewhere.  I'm glad you found him.  

 

Good job on Planet Fitness.  I think you've got a good strategy there.  You get the accountability but you're making use of your workout to do what you want and get stronger.  As for that belly and being out of breath, I would focus on the being out of breath and not focus on the belly.  You can't really control that directly anyway and by focusing on doing more things at the gym or wherever to get stronger and have more endurance, the belly will take care of itself.  

 

Glad you're back.

 

[our.lady.of.ashes]

 

first off - congrats!  The right one is always out there somewhere.  I'm glad you found him.  

 

Good job on Planet Fitness.  I think you've got a good strategy there.  You get the accountability but you're making use of your workout to do what you want and get stronger.  As for that belly and being out of breath, I would focus on the being out of breath and not focus on the belly.  You can't really control that directly anyway and by focusing on doing more things at the gym or wherever to get stronger and have more endurance, the belly will take care of itself.  

 

Glad you're back.

 

Trying to remember, really remember, that this is a journey not a sprint. I am not going to get there soon, so I might as well enjoy the ride. I'm hoping the 20 or so minutes of cardio the trainer has built into my plan as a warm up will help with the out of breathness. 

[our.lady.of.ashes]

My fitbit, which was an integral part of my life last year, died an agonizing and painful death some time I would like to say around Dec or Jan. Either way, suffice to say, I no longer have it. Thus was avoiding logging into my Habitica because I had a whole slew of dailies I couldn't account for because I was no longer logging my steps. In short, not a happy place. So today, I went into my Habitica and cleaned off the challenge and its subsequent dailies so that I can go back to using it to keep track of other things. I enjoy Habitica even though I have reached a level where there isn't a lot left to do but collect pets. That being said, I will totally collect pets. 

[spooky]

R.I.P. Fitbit

 

Congratulations on the engagement! I'm glad you two found one another and that he makes you happy <3

 

And speaking of happy....I'm so happy you're back! *hugs*

 

My sister is getting married at the end of may and one thing she did was go to the top of the line (Saks) wedding dress boutique, just to try on stuff and get an idea of what shapes and fabrics she liked. Then she looked for those things at her price point. 

 

And about starting again, it absolutely is a marathon.  Like Shello very wisely said, focus on the pieces you can control (the process) and the rest (the results) will come. You can do it!

[Gaming_Jeweler]

Hmm, Habitica sounds interesting. I might have to install it on my phone. I totally understand about wanting to get your weight where you want it before kids. It does help if you're happy with your weight before adding baby weight to the mix. There's a certain confidence us girls have if we're happy with our bodies. I'm probably going to sound like I'm echoing Spookyfoot & LadyShello, but getting to where you want is a marathon and the best way to get there is to take baby steps. Then you can start adding a bit more here and there. Plus, getting used to exercising regularly - according to my midwives and several other moms I've spoken to- helps you prepare for the marathon known as childbirth.