our.lady.of.ashes Posted July 25, 2016 Author Report Share Posted July 25, 2016 So four days turned into a two week vacation in which I ate like an asshole and didn't work out. They took the scale away at the gym, so I can't tell you how much damage I did. However, today I officially got back on the wagon with my first serious workout in like two weeks. I say serious because I broke a sweat and actually think I might have worked something. Here's to getting it together. Thanks for the encouragement and the gif is hilarious, Shello. Other things I've already done today, I sent a letter to my NerdFitness pen pal, sent the contract to my new editor who is going to help me rewrite my first book and make it better, plus help me work on books 2 and 3. I'm progressing in bullet journaling, though not quickly. Things are going at their own pace. I've realized it doesn't have to be super pretty as long as it is functional. Oh and there is intermittent catching of pokemans (as my close friends call them). 2 Quote Level 4 Drow Adventurer Stats: STR 8 DEX 7 CON 7.9 STA 10 WIS 8 CHA 7.9 Daily Battle Log 1st | 2nd | 3rd | 4th | 5th | 6th | 7th Challenge MyFitnessPal | Twitter Link to comment
Shello Posted July 25, 2016 Report Share Posted July 25, 2016 It doesn't matter what the damage was, only that you are officially back on the wagon and back at the gym. 2 Quote Race: Amazonian Ogre Princess | Class: Ranger | Profession: SuperHero | Affiliation: Doodlie and Pancake for Life Respawn Challenge Arcs: 2021 | 2022 I am not saying I am Wonder Woman. I am just saying no one has ever seen me and Wonder Woman together in the same room. Original Spawn Challenges 2014 - 2020: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 , 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, ?? Roadmaps: 2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 Starting weight = 290.4 (2014); Current weight = 241.2; Total pounds lost: 49.2 Link to comment
our.lady.of.ashes Posted July 31, 2016 Author Report Share Posted July 31, 2016 This is one of the few places where I can be utterly realistic without someone saying that I shouldn't feel the way I do. Today is DAY FIVE of my current major depressive episode. I get up and go to work. I make appointments with other people. Other than that I sleep. If it requires me to do it just because it is for me, it simply isn't happening, I don't have the energy. So far, everyone that I have told that I'm having a hard time has asked WHY? Honestly, I don't know. I'm hurting. Isn't that enough? Do you need to know why I'm hurting so you can try to explain it away as if that will make it so that I stop hurting? Isn't it enough that I'm scared I'm coming apart at the seams and just looking for someone to tell me that they've got my back and its going to be all right? I haven't actively wanted to hurt myself, but I've contemplated what life would be like for other people if I simply wandered off and didn't come back. Then I would just be gone and they would have a reason to be asking why. I just wanna feel normal again. 1 Quote Level 4 Drow Adventurer Stats: STR 8 DEX 7 CON 7.9 STA 10 WIS 8 CHA 7.9 Daily Battle Log 1st | 2nd | 3rd | 4th | 5th | 6th | 7th Challenge MyFitnessPal | Twitter Link to comment
Snarkyfishguts Posted August 1, 2016 Report Share Posted August 1, 2016 4 hours ago, our.lady.of.ashes said: This is one of the few places where I can be utterly realistic without someone saying that I shouldn't feel the way I do. Today is DAY FIVE of my current major depressive episode. I get up and go to work. I make appointments with other people. Other than that I sleep. If it requires me to do it just because it is for me, it simply isn't happening, I don't have the energy. So far, everyone that I have told that I'm having a hard time has asked WHY? Honestly, I don't know. I'm hurting. Isn't that enough? Do you need to know why I'm hurting so you can try to explain it away as if that will make it so that I stop hurting? Isn't it enough that I'm scared I'm coming apart at the seams and just looking for someone to tell me that they've got my back and its going to be all right? I haven't actively wanted to hurt myself, but I've contemplated what life would be like for other people if I simply wandered off and didn't come back. Then I would just be gone and they would have a reason to be asking why. I just wanna feel normal again. I am so sorry you are suffering. And yes. People who haven't experienced depression don't really understand it's not feeling sad. Wishing to escape makes sense when it feels like you're stuck in this depressed state. I hope you feel better soon! Things that help me are cleaning, walks outside and reading light hearted novels. When things are really bad, I give myself a mental health day and just focus on important things like showering, (hair combing optional) ordering pizza and eating it while watching hgtv. Big hugs!!! If you need anything or just need to vent, send me a PM. Quote Link to comment
Terah Posted August 1, 2016 Report Share Posted August 1, 2016 ((Hugs)) Take care of yourself. You'll find your way back again <3 1 Quote Doodlie for life, Pancake by choice Current Challenge Spoiler Challenge 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 Challenges 2017: 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28 Challenges 2018: 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, Challenges 2019: 36, 37, 38, 39, 40 Challenges 2020: 41, 42, 43, 44, 45 Challenges 2023: 46, 47 Link to comment
Shello Posted August 2, 2016 Report Share Posted August 2, 2016 *hugs* We've got your back and it will be OK. Just take it one day at a time. Have you reached out to future mister for some support? Quote Race: Amazonian Ogre Princess | Class: Ranger | Profession: SuperHero | Affiliation: Doodlie and Pancake for Life Respawn Challenge Arcs: 2021 | 2022 I am not saying I am Wonder Woman. I am just saying no one has ever seen me and Wonder Woman together in the same room. Original Spawn Challenges 2014 - 2020: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 , 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, ?? Roadmaps: 2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 Starting weight = 290.4 (2014); Current weight = 241.2; Total pounds lost: 49.2 Link to comment
our.lady.of.ashes Posted August 2, 2016 Author Report Share Posted August 2, 2016 Thanks guys. I've basically decided that until things get better, I'm just going to take a break from expectations. If I can get out of bed every day and get the important stuff (going to work) done, then that's good enough. I'll eat whatever my body says we're eating for the day, sleep when I feel like it, and try to fit in walking around when I can. My therapist, who I saw yesterday, says to try positive affirmations to help get my brain into a more positive (he doesn't say happy) mindset. One of the affirmations is "I am a hero". I haven't figured out hero of what yet, but that's one I'm definitely using. 1 Quote Level 4 Drow Adventurer Stats: STR 8 DEX 7 CON 7.9 STA 10 WIS 8 CHA 7.9 Daily Battle Log 1st | 2nd | 3rd | 4th | 5th | 6th | 7th Challenge MyFitnessPal | Twitter Link to comment
Terah Posted August 2, 2016 Report Share Posted August 2, 2016 1 hour ago, our.lady.of.ashes said: If I can get out of bed every day and get the important stuff (going to work) done, then that's good enough. That's all I ever strive for in a day. Everything else is just a bonus 1 hour ago, our.lady.of.ashes said: I haven't figured out hero of what yet You are the hero of your own life <3 Quote Doodlie for life, Pancake by choice Current Challenge Spoiler Challenge 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 Challenges 2017: 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28 Challenges 2018: 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, Challenges 2019: 36, 37, 38, 39, 40 Challenges 2020: 41, 42, 43, 44, 45 Challenges 2023: 46, 47 Link to comment
our.lady.of.ashes Posted August 2, 2016 Author Report Share Posted August 2, 2016 4 hours ago, LadyShello said: *hugs* We've got your back and it will be OK. Just take it one day at a time. Have you reached out to future mister for some support? His initial response was "Why?" because he doesn't understand depression. Once I convinced him it wasn't his fault however he just wanted to know how he could make it better. He's checking in on my mental status every day and spending time with me when I'm not exhausted. He also brought me flowers. They are very pretty. 2 Quote Level 4 Drow Adventurer Stats: STR 8 DEX 7 CON 7.9 STA 10 WIS 8 CHA 7.9 Daily Battle Log 1st | 2nd | 3rd | 4th | 5th | 6th | 7th Challenge MyFitnessPal | Twitter Link to comment
our.lady.of.ashes Posted April 1, 2020 Author Report Share Posted April 1, 2020 I fell off the wagon for a few years. I'm not sure if I should reboot this thread or not, but at the moment I'm going to at least post that I haven't died. 2 Quote Level 4 Drow Adventurer Stats: STR 8 DEX 7 CON 7.9 STA 10 WIS 8 CHA 7.9 Daily Battle Log 1st | 2nd | 3rd | 4th | 5th | 6th | 7th Challenge MyFitnessPal | Twitter Link to comment
Sloth the Enduring Posted April 1, 2020 Report Share Posted April 1, 2020 Not having died is a big deal. Welcome back. Quote “We might as well start where we are, use what we have and do what we can." – Caitlin Rivers Sloth: The Man with the Hammer battle log Link to comment
Snarkyfishguts Posted April 1, 2020 Report Share Posted April 1, 2020 2 hours ago, our.lady.of.ashes said: I fell off the wagon for a few years. I'm not sure if I should reboot this thread or not, but at the moment I'm going to at least post that I haven't died. 💜 great to see you here! Quote Link to comment
Terah Posted April 1, 2020 Report Share Posted April 1, 2020 8 hours ago, our.lady.of.ashes said: I fell off the wagon for a few years. I'm not sure if I should reboot this thread or not, but at the moment I'm going to at least post that I haven't died. Welcome back! Quote Doodlie for life, Pancake by choice Current Challenge Spoiler Challenge 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 Challenges 2017: 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28 Challenges 2018: 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, Challenges 2019: 36, 37, 38, 39, 40 Challenges 2020: 41, 42, 43, 44, 45 Challenges 2023: 46, 47 Link to comment
our.lady.of.ashes Posted April 1, 2020 Author Report Share Posted April 1, 2020 Guys, it's so nice to see you're still around too. Now to get back on the wagon...might need to hitch the horses to it first...or maybe just make sure it has wheels......Lots of things which need doing to get this up and going again. On the plus side, I have walked 2 miles already today and done 10 incline push ups. I think I'm off to a decent start. 4 Quote Level 4 Drow Adventurer Stats: STR 8 DEX 7 CON 7.9 STA 10 WIS 8 CHA 7.9 Daily Battle Log 1st | 2nd | 3rd | 4th | 5th | 6th | 7th Challenge MyFitnessPal | Twitter Link to comment
our.lady.of.ashes Posted April 2, 2020 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2020 Yesterday, I also managed to do the warm up for P90X+'s full body workout. Today so far, 10 incline push ups and a 2 mile walk. Feeling a little bit like I can make a habit of this. 1 1 Quote Level 4 Drow Adventurer Stats: STR 8 DEX 7 CON 7.9 STA 10 WIS 8 CHA 7.9 Daily Battle Log 1st | 2nd | 3rd | 4th | 5th | 6th | 7th Challenge MyFitnessPal | Twitter Link to comment
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