alienjenn - overcoming

[alienjenn]

I wish I had been able to get video of her... she kept moving that one red piece nearest to her... and Zombie kept saying "Ezra don't you understand you are playing the black pieces this time?"

[alienjenn]

 somehow Shakespeare comes home SIX HOURS after curfew and *I* am the bad guy for being upset about it... not to mention that the last time that he texted me was before midnight (I had sent "I have things for you to do when you get home" and he replied "ok") the last time he actually said anything about his location was before 11 (curfew is 10 pm on school nights)

 

and I get yelled at because I tried to explain to him that it is unacceptable for him to be out past curfew without telling me where he is or ASKING PERMISSION before hand!!! ("out talking to people about a job" is not acceptable...)

 

 

I am so beyond pissed right now... I narrowly avoided screaming and cussing and yelling and throwing shit at the little asshole....

 

I can't wait until april

 

I don't care if he doesn't have a job.... his shit is going on the lawn and I am changing the locks 

[alienjenn]

since this is like my battle log and all where I am supposed to be sharing my logs (as well as my battles ) 

 

 

 

 

I logged 22 workouts (out of 31 possible days) 

 

not bad... 71%

 

this month I am aiming for 28 workouts

 

although I already have one rest day... but eh

[alienjenn]

email I sent to Steve tonight

 

 

So I know this thing about myself... I learned it a LONG long time ago... 

I get the s.a.d.... I get it pretty bad... and it tends to be super debilitating... and I get super crazy scary levels of depressed... 

so this year I set about changing that... I made an appointment with my PCP to talk about antidepressants... I started them (I really don't know why I fought against taking them for so long... my brain feels like it's almost a new brain!!)... I worked hard on getting my vit D (which helps some but not an incredible amount) I advocated for myself REALLY HARD and convinced her to do extra thyroid tests (and go figure... they are a little off... but it seems I am super sensitive... I do tend to be an outlier when it comes to statistics of all things medical... so yeah... going for follow up tests because apparently since I DESPISE salt and don't tend to add it to anything and I don't really eat much fish it's possible that eating clean and paleo and everything has caused an iodine deficiency... which can throw off your thyroid... and I only started adding that nasty salt to my foods because I was noticing that I was becoming hyponatremic (which can be
deadly if your sodium goes too low when you are miles away from the nearest phone and it causes you to have a seizure and fall off a mountain...) yeah... so I started adding salt back and my doc said I am the first patient she has ever suggested adding salt as a treatment) but she is going to do some follow up bloodwork in april... and I may end up having to do meds... and if I do I think I am ok with that


also... (can't remember if I shared ALL this... but it leads up to what I really wanna share so bare with me) I have been grounded from barbells since mid nov... I had an incident at work at the beginning of nov and apparently sprained my scapholunate ligament (in the wrist...) which means that I ran a spartan with a fairly decent injury... ended up in a cast for 3 weeks... and in a splint and with physical therapy since new years... and I still have FAIRLY significant pain and loss of mobility...   had to get steroids injected in it last monday (which are SUPPOSED to make it feel better... but I am not to the feeling better stage) it's possible that I tore the ligament... which may need more aggressive therapy (read: surgery) 

but anyways... I knew I was going to get the S.A.D. and I KNEW being grounded from barbells was going to depress me even more... AND being out of work (because you can't do proper hand hygiene in a cast so I couldn't work in patient care) and stuck home with my kids (seriously.... all they do is fight and bicker... well not really... but it's stressful to be stuck home with them) I KNEW those were going to suck for me and that the likelihood of me just shutting down was pretty near 100%


so... I did what any true blooded american rebel hero would do


I encouraged others 

I stated a group (called it heroes) and the goal was daily workouts for 8 weeks... we had a buy in and then there was a penalty for missed workouts (after 8 free days which could be used as needed or hoarded throughout the time)... we had a facebook group... and I logged in EVERY day and made sure that I did my best to get some kind of workout... obviously since I couldn't do barbells I had to change my definition of workout... so I did the trampoline park... or yoga... or ran with Ezra (that puppy loves to run... I think she has some hidden greyhound in her or something)... or stairs... I learned I could push a car with one hand when my coworkers car broke down...I worked on forearm stands (eh just because I can't be on my WRIST doesn't mean I can't work on being upside down right?? AND I got off the wall!! I got both feet off the wall in my forearm stand... I have been using the progression that you had to handstand like luke skywalker but I modified
it to work for forearmstands)...  I got myself an exercise ball and I have been doing ball assisted yoga... 

but the important thing is that I worked out as often as I could.... I had to miss some time (actually missed three days of work for back pain.... I figure if it's bad enough I can't work I can take a rest day right??) but I logged 45 workouts through the 8 weeks


BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE

there were 8 of us in the group... and between the 8 of us we logged 353 workouts.... 


one lady... she only missed ONE DAY! her father died and there was so much chaos in her life that comming to our little group and reporting her workout for the day was her only sanity some days.... how fricking amazing is that?!?!?



I wish I could say that this helped me break my plateau... eh I am still hovering in the 240-245 range... but you know what... I am fairly certain that when the thyroid crap gets settled that it will be good... and honestly I don't think I care anymore... because I will continue to get stronger, faster, more endurancery and I am gonna be the fastest/strongest/most enduranciest 240# woman you have ever seen that's gonna be some Arnold level muscles right there! 

and on an even awesomer note... CNF is in 239 days!!!

 

[karinajean]

I love you and I love your spirit and heart.

I know CNF is awesome but I really can't fathom that it's more awesome than you and the month you just had!

Sent from my iPhone while riding a unicorn through the cosmos.

[alienjenn]

I'm just your average red blooded american hero you know

 

 

I love you too!! glad you are here for the ride!

[SevenofSeven]

Amazing AJ! What more can one say?

[shaar]

Popping in to catch up, you took that S.A.D and kicked it right in it's seasonal arse!!  You are a total American Hero, complete with cape, colorful outfit, superhero bandana, and confetti cannons, yup yup.  ROOOAARRR!!!

 

CAMP is coming, CAMP is coming, woo hoooooooo!!!!

[alienjenn]

Amazing AJ! What more can one say?

 

 

 

 

(wow... that turned up a lot bigger than I thought it would... but I like it!!)

 

Popping in to catch up, you took that S.A.D and kicked it right in it's seasonal arse!!  You are a total American Hero, complete with cape, colorful outfit, superhero bandana, and confetti cannons, yup yup.  ROOOAARRR!!!

 

CAMP is coming, CAMP is coming, woo hoooooooo!!!!

 

 

one of my next projects is going to be this on a bandanna 

 

 because saving lives is my super power

 

 

although I am told no capes... because

 

 

no capes

 

 

(2:11 especially)

 

but... yeah... my fashion designer would kill me if I took a cape

 

 

 

 

 

-------------------

 

also wanted to share this... after my being PISSED at my measurements on 22 jan... I think I will take it... (of course today was an UNOFFICIAL weigh in... I think it counts!!)

 

[alienjenn]

I like mini updates when I get a chance... there isn't much workout going on... although I got a new exercise ball and have been doing some traveling planks... I shall have to video that... they are fun!!

 

I can't remember if I shared my new towels

 

 

Decided I'm redoing the bathroom in bright blue and charcoal

 

 

 

I can't figure out how to quickly make that a picture... hmmm

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I gotta brag on my heroes!!!

we logged 353 workouts in 8 weeks!!!

 

 

 

monday morning

 

The beasts have overtaken my bed

.

 

 

 

 

last night

She woke me up with her ball. .... she was to excited and jumped on me and set it on my chest. .... how can I refuse this face? ???? 

 

 

yesterday rambling while I woke up

 

I wonder if superman ever feels unworthy of his title. ... if wonder woman ever wonders if her work really matters. .... if batman ever thinks "I'm nothing much just doing a job"

When I look at heroes it seems like they KNOW they are heroes. ... they KNOW they are making a difference. ...

Maybe it's just me

 

 

I drove 500 miles this week. .... anyone else want to sing?

 

 

 

The moon was so pretty driving into work tonight I had to stop and take a picture. ...

This does no justice

 

 

My new scrubs. ... they are a little me snug than I care for. ... but they are very firmly a large (this brand runs small I find)

 

 

 

She told me to do a "goofy pic"

I don't think so but River said she likes this one better

 

 

this morning when I got home from work

I'm sick and tired of the people who live in MY house where I pay the bills acting like my rules are negotiable. ... came home yet again to find no chores have been done and the house is WORSE than when I went to work. ... and to top it off Zombie "didn't wake up on time " and refuses to admit he did anything wrong (he didn't set his desk alarm clock he "can't find" the phone to set an alarm etc etc) and when I'm extending his grounding because he missed the bus Fri and I'm asking "do you understand why you're being disciplined" his answer was "you think I did something wrong"

NO

Ugh

 

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDFP6cz2VrU&sns=fb

 

 

 

 

I woke up feeling like I had an elephant sitting on my chest

Turns out it was just Ezra. ... same thing really

 

 

 

I'm tired
I'm hungry
I'm grumpy

I don't know that there's enough coffee on earth to get me through tonight

I do however have new Avengers scrubs so I think the scales are tipped slightly in my favor

 

And I get snuggles before work. .... another plus

 

 

and FYI... that's mah boob 

 

kids were being asses.... kitchen wasn't clean. ... I didn't have time to clean AND cook

So I stopped at 7-11 for coffee and golden corral for dinner and sat for twenty minutes on the overlook on my way to work. ..

Plus I got strawberries

 

 

It's carrots and maters ands jalapeno and olive typed with pulled pork and sausage and peppers. .... hbe and more carrots. .. steamed zucchini. .. strawberries and black coffee

 

[Elastigirl]

Awesome measurement.

 

I love that saving lives is your super power! and that you made a good call on your costume.

[alienjenn]

like I said.... my fashion designer would kill me if I decided to wear a cape... I just spent the last ten min trying to find a picture that accurately depicts her thoughts... and now I am nostalgic and no closer to having a picture... I shall have to text her my request

[T2sarahconnor]

You are a movie star!

http://rebellion.nerdfitness.com/index.php?/topic/60365-nerd-fitness-collab-video/

[alienjenn]

I saw that! !!!!!

OMG that was so AWESOME!

It made me cry because it's so full of ALL those people doing fabulous wonderful things and there I am. ... and it means I'm fabulous and wonderful!

(Yeah exhausted melodramatic lack of self esteem being smashed to the damn ground by a bunch of fricking awesome people that I am a part of!)

[T2sarahconnor]

I thought you were awesome before you were famous.

[alienjenn]

[Bekah]

Happy Early Valentines Day  
I couldn't pick just one for you...bc well, several of them apply

 

 

[alienjenn]

I will update more in depth later... but right now I am taking a nap... 

 

 

I was supposed to take my acls class after work (basically cpr class for icu nurses) which meant I would have been AT WORK for 22 hours... (I will splain more about how I tried to get out of it.... )but anyway... I was excused from class

 

 

(copying from emails I sent to my manager)

 

Kostas (instructor) pulled me out of class said he had to take me to HR to have them talk to me about something then the woman (who gave me her card after she talked to me) said "I need you to sit so I can talk to you about something" and she had this chair pulled out in the middle of the room and I went to sit in the one not with my back to the door and she says "no i need you to sit in that chair" pointing to the one in the middle of the room

and then Kostas went to leave and she said to him "no I need you to stay to be a witness" and he sat in the other chair

then she says "well we pulled you down here to talk to you about something in private because you may not even be aware because most people aren't even aware of it"
and I am like... ooooookkkk???

and she says "someone has made a complaint that you have a lot of body odor and that it's offensive"
and I was like... yeah I know I am sweaty because I just worked a 12 hour shift where I RAN all night
and they were like... well you will be excused from this class and can sign up for another one and we will let your manager know but you are excused from this class




I was very embarrassed

I am sure that my over caffination  and tiredness is contributing to my emotionalness about this. 

 

I explained to them that I had worked a 12 hour shift in which I RAN all night long and that yes I knew that I was sweaty because I had spent the last 12 hours running. I am beyond mortified. I shower every single day when I get home from work and I don't even know what to say.

[Elastigirl]

Aw sorry. Doesn't sound like they handled that well at all. They had decided their actions and that you were at fault even before they talked to you. That is maddening and wrong. Is that normal for them to have the class after work? Seems like being sweaty would be a normal issue. This could and should have been handled way better, glad you contacted your manager.

 

And remember you are a precious daughter of the King and you are His beloved

[alienjenn]

They only offer the class 0730-1700.... it only worked out for me to go after work. ... it wasn't on ANY days that I didn't work

[Elastigirl]

They only offer the class 0730-1700.... it only worked out for me to go after work. ... it wasn't on ANY days that I didn't work

Just makes me so mad that they treated you like that. Stupid lady. You'd think someone in HR would know how to deal with people , but apparently not. 

[captncid]

I could use a lot of colorful words to explain how wrong this was handled, after all I do work around a bunch of truckers.

I know a number of nurses that run all night as well. To me, this "talk" is coming from someone who has no idea what you go through at work. As elasitgirl said, shame on them for approaching it in this fashion.

On the bright side, you are receiving a gift soon and may need targets for practice. Just sayin'.

Keep your chin up, my friend. Those people would collapse from exhaustion if they walked a mile in your shoes.

Sent by Captain's orders via raven

[Rookiebeotch]

I was born without the sense of smell, so some of the reactions that you smellers have will never make sense to me. This guy was definitely a dick, though. I would totally fart in his office for you.

[SevenofSeven]

I concur with all of the above. HR totally got this wrong in the way you were treated by them and the instructor. I am glad you sent an e-mail to your manager, dicks like this make me so angry. The HR obviously does not know what it takes to be an ICU nurse.

[Elastigirl]

Keep your chin up, my friend. Those people would collapse from exhaustion if they walked a mile in your shoes.

Sent by Captain's orders via raven

Totally agree with this^^^