alienjenn - overcoming

[ladylydia]

  I'm sorry it's not working with you. 

[Elastigirl]

12 hours ago, alienjenn said:

I haven't been here in a while... 

 

 

eh... I thought I had been here more recently

 

 

this format is difficult to navigate on my computer... and typing is difficult on the phone... it's frustrating because I LOVED it here... and now I feel unwelcome because of the changes to the format... I can't find posts that I have made... I try fifteen hundred times to make a new activity stream and make it workout and it doesn't... it will show me two pages of things that people have replied to one post.... and like no other posts... I can't figure it out

 

 

I have a chrome book... I tried to see if I could get the tapatalk app on my laptop... but it didn't work... I will try again wednesday... I put a reminder in my phone

 

 

 

this is how I feel about the changes to the format of the forums

 

 

me                                                     the forum

Frustrating. Sorry. Miss your regular presence here.

[alienjenn]

Frustrating. Sorry. Miss your regular presence here.

I'll work on it. Going to try tapatalk on the laptop

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[alienjenn]

I think I got tapatalk to work on my computer... we shall see... tonight I am sitting here and working on the blogging [emoji14]

pl,anning to go to the gym after a while

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[alienjenn]

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[alienjenn]

I just want to cry... like totally... I was looking over my measurements... using my weight from the gym the other day... I have been on whole 30 since the 1st... just glancing at them I am not even going to do the fucking math... 

I am 60# up from where I was when I hurt my knee... I am not eating anything off plan... (ok I HAVE been eating a lot of fruit to combat the sweet cravings but I haven't been doing that poorly) 

I feel like the only way I am going to lose this shit is to go low carb and that's miserable for EVERYONE... I don't know why I am having such a hard time and I just want to sob 

I feel like I am getting to the gym and being consistent and whatnot... I am going to work on locking down the fruit and whatnot... I just am miserable right now

I have been thinking about it... I MAY be retaining water... I made a spiral ham for my lunches last week and I ate most of it over the course of the week... my salt intake was off the charts for me :/ 

I am finding it interesting the way my brain is taking this... I know what I say to other people when they say things like this... but when I try to say them to me I want to say "fuck off I'm a special snowflake"... I am not really [emoji14] 

My plan... to cut back on fruit to no more than one serving a day... continue IF... continue gym/walking/etc... and measure again in a month... I did it before I can do it again 

I have been thinking about it... I MAY be retaining water... I made a spiral ham for my lunches last week and I ate most of it over the course of the week... my salt intake was off the charts for me :/ 

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[ladylydia]

How long have you been on the current plan?  Sometimes it takes a while for results to show up.  If it's been a while, over a two months or so, then some part of your plan may not be workings.

 

I wouldn't cut back on fruit, I would actually jack them up and reduce the carbs as sweet cravings are cravings for fruit, and you need the vitamins. Why did you go to IF?  It doesn't have the same benefits for women as it does for men.  What about several small meals, or eating at very specific times? 

 

I totally agree with the salt, salt is a huge enemy. But remember, most of it comes from commercial items. So anything you prepare from scratch will have very little, and anything fully prepared you buy will have quite a bit, regardless of how "healthy" it's supposed to be. 

[alienjenn]

On 1/17/2017 at 0:48 PM, ladylydia said:

How long have you been on the current plan?  Sometimes it takes a while for results to show up.  If it's been a while, over a two months or so, then some part of your plan may not be workings.

 

 

eh,.... consistently??? since NYD

 

On 1/17/2017 at 0:48 PM, ladylydia said:

I wouldn't cut back on fruit, I would actually jack them up and reduce the carbs as sweet cravings are cravings for fruit, and you need the vitamins. Why did you go to IF?  It doesn't have the same benefits for women as it does for men.  What about several small meals, or eating at very specific times? 

 

 

 

 

eh... I *KNOW* I eat too much fruit... for the first two weeks of the new year I was allowing all the fruit I wanted... in exchange for zero chocolates... it's now time to cut back

 

 

I started IF last summer... it resonates with me time wise... I NEVER wake up hungry any more... and I don't get that starving all the time feeling... I feel FULL after I eat... I think that it works for me... 

 

I have been reading intuitive eating ( http://www.intuitiveeating.com/ ) and following that mostly... I think that I just tend to gravitate towards an IF kinda lifestyle (except I don't DO NOT work out well fasted... NEVER) 

 

On 1/17/2017 at 0:48 PM, ladylydia said:

I totally agree with the salt, salt is a huge enemy. But remember, most of it comes from commercial items. So anything you prepare from scratch will have very little, and anything fully prepared you buy will have quite a bit, regardless of how "healthy" it's supposed to be. 

 

I cook everything (from scratch)... I never ADD salt... so it was just the ham and that's not a usual for me... 

 

[ladylydia]

Shoot, that was the extent of my knowledge base. ...........   God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference?

[ladylydia]

No wait, I can do better then that.  

 

Dear heavenly Father, Alienjenn is struggling and frustrated with her health and progress. I ask that you grant her wisdom in caring for the vessel you have given her, and bless her in her walk with you.  Help the path you've set before compliment her family and her job so that she may bring glory to you with her journey.   In Jesus's name, Amen.  

[alienjenn]

19 hours ago, ladylydia said:

No wait, I can do better then that.  

 

Dear heavenly Father, Alienjenn is struggling and frustrated with her health and progress. I ask that you grant her wisdom in caring for the vessel you have given her, and bless her in her walk with you.  Help the path you've set before compliment her family and her job so that she may bring glory to you with her journey.   In Jesus's name, Amen.  

 

 

 

I think it's interesting that you said it like that... 

 

I posted this on a group on fb 

 

Quote

I'm doing my best to be an awesome caretaker for this vessel I've been given.    January 23 at 9:09am

 

 

so yeah

 

 

 

19 hours ago, ladylydia said:

Shoot, that was the extent of my knowledge base. ...........   God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference?

 

I been doing this about a bajillion years... I gots the knowledges I just gotta figure out how to apply them to me I am a work in progress

 

 

 

 

and anyway... I don't remember if I did a post about my yearly goals :/ meh... so I will now!

 

 

I am keeping a file "2017 goals and cool shit!"

 

and I am going to update it at least monthly.... here is my copy of it as of now

 

 

1,000 miles

As of NYE 2120 - Total Miles Logged 334.4

as of 25 jan @ 0400 362.4 miles

------- 28 miles -------------------

there's 342 days until NYE... if I get 2.9 miles per day it should be no problem. This year is about consistency... I think next year will be extravagance!

 

365 sun salutations OR days of daily movement from UB

9 sun salutations

just changed this because I am a member of Unbreakable body.... they updated the way they work the program... and the daily movement is a 10 minute thing to help work with your body... it essentially does what I intended for the SS to do... I will work on making this a more daily part of my day.... even though I had 9 responses they were only on 5 days so that's not the INTENT of this project which was consistency

 

12 races

I am 70% complete with one of them... I have several I want to run this year both virtual and otherwise

 

5200 to savings

hmmmmm.... this may be a stretch... I may want to say cumulative? I have 140 in my savings this month but it's savings that's earmarked for the time off between this assignment and the next so I dunno if that should count so I dunno

 

4 meetups per assignment

I have been to 2 so far this month... I have one planned wednesday with NFA women in MS... and I have another meetup with the nerds this weekend... I MAY want to change this to 4/month later in the year if this works well

 

I think I want something with a 7

ummmmmm... I still got nothing for this one :::

 

 

 

[alienjenn]

On 12/19/2015 at 6:07 PM, alienjenn said:

Yes.

Did ropes course thing. So fun.

It's been busy. Should have Internet this week

hmmmm... sent by magic.... or fairies.... or small woodland creatures maybe? how does this thing work?

 

 

quoting to find later because I want to do a comparison pic

 

[alienjenn]

On 4/21/2016 at 6:04 PM, alienjenn said:

Tbt

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again... to find

 

[alienjenn]

ok so I made a thing

 not the same pose and bra so it's a little difficult for me to see the changes...

the neckline is looser... the area of my upper belly is looser... I can use the pockets... 

I am roughly the same weight

my measurements aren't that much different

it's really weird that it fits so much differently even though my measurements aren't changed and my weight isn't changed

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[alienjenn]

 

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[alienjenn]

I don't remember if I shared this here

 

I am part of a group of ladies who have made it our mission to help empower women.

 

on facebook you can find us at

https://www.facebook.com/SYODD/

 

and we have a blog/webpage that can be found at

 

https://www.slayyourowndamndragon.com/

 

 

check us out!

 

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[alienjenn]

I'm still alive. Vacation.

 

Will be in Indiana next week

 

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[alienjenn]

In Indiana. I've got a hot tub. I may not leave for a while

 

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[ladylydia]

I wish i was still in Indiana, I've visit you.  Enjoy your trip.

[alienjenn]

I've been having issues with tapatalk not loading

 

Mom's super sick. I'm having family issues. Ugh

 

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[alienjenn]

Mom died on the 18th. Still family issues

 

I feel lost

 

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[Kareesh]

I've been following you on FB, and just now making a come back to NF. I'm sure I don't know all the issues, and I sure as heck don't have any words that will take away the pain.

 

I guess my only advice is to give your pain to Him. Cry on His shoulder. Find a Bible verse that comforts you and post it on your phone, post it notes, where ever you need it most. And know that you have those in your life that are rooting for you. *hugs*

 

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[ladylydia]

I am so sorry. Were you able to be with her?

[alienjenn]

I was here two welds and she was hospitalized again. Then about two weeks she was sick and I was here every day off. I've got an assignment about ninety minutes from here.

 

Today is the service.

 

The family issues are the main reason I've been back less than a dozen times since I left seventeen years ago. Everyone is bickering and my brother is drunk again. There's a lot more than I want to type on my phone. I'll come back later in the week and do a big update.

 

I've been trying to keep the anxiety monster at bay. Not one person in my family over 45 hasn't had a heart attack. Mom was 57. I'll be 40 in June. I need to ramp things up again and get on this shit and get in shape before I have a heart attack

 

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[alienjenn]

Her service went much better than I expected

 

I'm home.

 

We got to the funeral home at about 1230 to sign papers and whatnot. The service was supposed to start at like one. (that's what I understood at least) people started filtering in and the place was packed by about 115.

 

When I got there my amazing friend Marion was there. She was like my fricken ROCK. She was like you think of me as your island and you come to me when you need a breather. I walked the circuit. She helped me get stuff set up and taken down and whatnot.

 

Anyway I thought we were starting at 1. Apparently the funeral home guy thought two. So everyone just kinda mingled. My cousin Jason said a few words and then I said a few words. A couple others said some things.

 

My favorite was when my nephew Zander said his favorite memory of Oma was when they went to Chinese dinner and his dad (his mom's second husband not my brother) asked him if he was going to have ice cream or noodles and Oma said why not both? And her said "Oma did so much for other people so we should do so much for other people for Oma". That's how I want her remembered.

 

Anyway I talked again after people and told everyone the food was at the dav and whatnot. Apparently brother was on the phone drunk trying to get aunt b to come get him. She refused

 

Then we go to the dav, Jeff and uncle s had set stuff up before the service. Aunt Debbie and uncle Dewayne stopped and got chicken so I didn't have to.

 

Everything was awesome. Marion helped set EVERYTHING up and made food look pretty and whatnot. About an hour into it brother came. Apparently outside he threatened uncle Steve and Jeff (because he hates my ex. Ok well don't we all? Ok maybe not ALL but you know) and aunt b was am amazing diplomat. She calmed Alex down and kept him away from uncle. He was so drunk. I've never seen anyone that drunk before. He gave me a hug and was slobbering on my shoulder and snoring. Like scared me drunk. He promised not to make a scene and someone brought him food and he sat so I went back to sit with my friends.

 

He didn't REALLY make a scene. At one point he was kinda loud to my friend about how half these people couldn't even look her in the eye and whatnot but Marion was awesome about THAT too.

 

He say down by me and was just crying and like I'm sorry I'm sorry I just don't know what to do anymore. I asked if he'd called his sponsor. He started ranting about that and I told him "I understand that you're hurting. I feel though that you're got ineffective coping skills and you need to develop some new ones." he looked for a minute like he was going to come across the table at me but then he got up and left.

 

After that I just hang out and eat and told a million stories about mom. Chatted with cousins and friends

 

Marion helped clean everything up and was such a blessing. I don't know how I'd have made it through the day without her.

 

 

 

Marion took that during my eulogy. And posted this in my heroes group

 

Look how damn brave and beautiful our leader is. Eulogizing your mother is probably the hardest thing any of us will ever do, and she did it with class and sass.

 

I wore bright orange in protest of it being a "funeral" mom never wanted any of that. I joked that if Ezra popped during the service that mom would be laughing her ass off. Like "that's what I think about THAT" [emoji14]

 

 

I wrote this for the papers

 

 

Sherrie Wiegel, 57, of Michigan City passed away suddenly on Tuesday, April 18, 2017, at her home in Michigan City.

 

Cremation services have been selected by the family. A time of remembrance to celebrate her life will be held on Sunday, April 30, 2017, from 1 - 2:30 p.m. at the Root Funeral Home. A short memorial service will be held at 2:30 and a time for gathering and celebrating her life will be after services at a place to be announced at the services.

 

Sherrie was born July 8, 1959, in Michigan City to the late Vincent and Judith (Brewer) Hogan.

 

She didn't really want an obituary (who does?), so let this be a brief biography with unfortunate placement. Sherrie was born in Michigan City, but she was born a ramblin (wo)man. She travelled extensively through the United States and even made it to Africa twice! She loved everyone the only way she knew how, fiercely and with all of her being. No one ever left her house hungry, and she was a darn fine cook. The number of people who considered her Oma is uncountable.

 

Sherrie is joining her sisters (Patti Zimpfer and Debbie Beaman) at that great party in the sky, and is survived by her amazing children, Jenn Frye and Alex Wiegel. She also leaves behind her honorable grandchildren, Jeffery Frye, Caitlynn Frye, Christian Frye and Alexzander Wiegel Jr.. Additionally her big brothers, Steve (Brenda) Lenchke and Dwayne (Debbie) Hogan are sticking around here on earth for a while. She has a half-sister, Christa (Gerald) Cooper; half-brother, Jim (Linette) Swiger and step-mother, Barbara Hogan, and many nieces and nephews and friends.

 

Sherrie was a prolific writer and had received her bachelors degree and masters degree in Psychology from Purdue University and Indiana University South Bend. She was working on getting her Phd.

 

In lieu of flowers, the family requests that donations may be made to one of Sherries favorite charities: Disabled American Veterans, SPCA, or March of Dimes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm glad THAT part is done. Today we finish cleaning out the house and send home oldest boy

 

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