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I'm glad your friend Marion was there to support you.  sometimes we just need a second or third person to help us Stand during something difficult.  <3

 

you're doing a great job getting through this, luv.  I think you're stronger than you realise.

just another cracked southern belle,

and a specialist in self-kintsukuroi.

Current Challenge Accountability:  Health & Happiness Are Hard: Wherein the Cracked_Belle Un-Dies

Epic Quest:  Adventures in Badassery  [under construction]

Spoiler

There is never a sudden revelation, a complete and tidy explanation for why it happened, or why it ends, or why or who you are. You want one and I want one, but there isn't one. It comes in bits and pieces, and you stitch them together wherever they fit, and when you are done you hold yourself up, and still there are holes and you are a rag doll, invented, imperfect. And yet you are all that you have, so you must be enough. There is no other way.
― Marya Hornbacher, Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia

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She was amazing. I don't know what I'd have done without her

 

 

 

cae7dd41f0a48d5ca96ff253660fa87e.jpg

 

This week I'm going back to basics

 

1. "Am" routine

2. "PM" routine

3. Exercise - step goal OR 10 minutes

4. WATER - "6" cups (I got the big cups)

6. Post in my battle log every day

 

Goal for today? Write out my three step a.m. And p.m. routines

 

Sent from my VS985 4G using Tapatalk

 

 

  • Like 3

Level 10.4 Wood-Elf, Ranger - specializing in demon fighting

"doing the impossible since 2012 :D" - Librarian of Doom

facebook battle log level 50 WOOT   Backstory CNF2014  current (not challenge - doing a battle log this time)

Spoiler

 

* This is the day the Lord has made, rejoice in it and be glad. God, The Bible. * Do or do not, there is no try. - Yoda
* There are three options in this life; be good, get good, or give up. -- House * Never take counsel of your fears. Stonewall Jackson. 

* level 50 isn't gonna just POOF happen - alienjenn, NF IRC chatroom

 

* I'm not about to give up - Because I heard you say - There's gonna be brighter days… I won't stop, I'll keep my head up - No, I'm not here to stay ...  - 

 I just might bend but I won't break - As long as I can see your face - When life won't play along - And right keeps going wrong - And I can't seem to find my way - I know where I am found - So I won't let it drag me down - Oh, I'll keep dancing anyway - Mercy Me - Move

 

 

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Sorry about your mom. You did a great job of honoring her with the eulogy and obituary.

 

 

  • Like 1

Wisdom 21   Dexterity 11   Charisma 14   Strength 18  Constitution-12

Elastigirl Endeavors, Experiments, , and Explains - Current Challenge: May 9 to June 12 - Nerd Fitness Rebellion

"If more of us valued food and cheer and song, above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world" J.R.R.Tolkien

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I've been in an internet wasteland.

 

I'm leaving here Thursday ish. I'll be in Cincinnati this weekend and home next. More to come. But first.....

 

On the left? 21 March.

 

On the right? Last night767505bb5bc88ed2e09085471c3c2a30.jpg

 

Sent from my XT1650 using Tapatalk

 

 

  • Like 1

Level 10.4 Wood-Elf, Ranger - specializing in demon fighting

"doing the impossible since 2012 :D" - Librarian of Doom

facebook battle log level 50 WOOT   Backstory CNF2014  current (not challenge - doing a battle log this time)

Spoiler

 

* This is the day the Lord has made, rejoice in it and be glad. God, The Bible. * Do or do not, there is no try. - Yoda
* There are three options in this life; be good, get good, or give up. -- House * Never take counsel of your fears. Stonewall Jackson. 

* level 50 isn't gonna just POOF happen - alienjenn, NF IRC chatroom

 

* I'm not about to give up - Because I heard you say - There's gonna be brighter days… I won't stop, I'll keep my head up - No, I'm not here to stay ...  - 

 I just might bend but I won't break - As long as I can see your face - When life won't play along - And right keeps going wrong - And I can't seem to find my way - I know where I am found - So I won't let it drag me down - Oh, I'll keep dancing anyway - Mercy Me - Move

 

 

Link to post

I've been in an internet wasteland.

 

I'm leaving here Thursday ish. I'll be in Cincinnati this weekend and home next. More to come. But first.....

 

On the left? 21 March.

 

On the right? Last night767505bb5bc88ed2e09085471c3c2a30.jpg

 

Sent from my XT1650 using Tapatalk

 

 

  • Like 1

Level 10.4 Wood-Elf, Ranger - specializing in demon fighting

"doing the impossible since 2012 :D" - Librarian of Doom

facebook battle log level 50 WOOT   Backstory CNF2014  current (not challenge - doing a battle log this time)

Spoiler

 

* This is the day the Lord has made, rejoice in it and be glad. God, The Bible. * Do or do not, there is no try. - Yoda
* There are three options in this life; be good, get good, or give up. -- House * Never take counsel of your fears. Stonewall Jackson. 

* level 50 isn't gonna just POOF happen - alienjenn, NF IRC chatroom

 

* I'm not about to give up - Because I heard you say - There's gonna be brighter days… I won't stop, I'll keep my head up - No, I'm not here to stay ...  - 

 I just might bend but I won't break - As long as I can see your face - When life won't play along - And right keeps going wrong - And I can't seem to find my way - I know where I am found - So I won't let it drag me down - Oh, I'll keep dancing anyway - Mercy Me - Move

 

 

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Hi darling! [emoji173][emoji8][emoji173]

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  • Like 1

2014! #1 | #2 | #3 | #4 | #5 2015! #6 | #7 | #8 | #9 | #10 | #11 | #12 | 2016! #13 | #14 | #15 | #16 | #17 | #18 | #19 | #20 | #21 | #22 | #23 | 2017! #24 | #25 | #26 | #27 | #28 | #29 | #30 | #31 | #32 | #33 | 2018! #34 | #35 | #36 | #37v1 | #37v2 | 2019! #38 | #39 | #40reference materials | academy battle log

 

mermaid ninja assassin. on a motorcycle. with swords. and knitting needles. and kittens.

 

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hey Karina!!!

 

 

I have been so super frustrated... In that picture I posted earlier... just up there.. I am actually 4# heavier than I was in the first picture... like wtf...

 

 

also

 

my dentist appointment yesterday wasn't as bad as I was fearing it would be. I have 8 cavities. 1 fractured tooth from grinding my teeth at night. I need to go back today to have my teeth scaled and then later to have the cavities filled. I was worried though that I would have very bad periodontal disease because my gums bleed so bad, she said it isn't very bad. They score things 1+ 1-3 is GOOD and 4+ is bad. I have a lot of 1-3 teeth and a lot of 4 teeth and some 5s. She said that she's seen a 10, so she didn't think my teeth were THAT bad.

 

Sent from my QTAIR7 using Tapatalk

 

 

  • Like 1

Level 10.4 Wood-Elf, Ranger - specializing in demon fighting

"doing the impossible since 2012 :D" - Librarian of Doom

facebook battle log level 50 WOOT   Backstory CNF2014  current (not challenge - doing a battle log this time)

Spoiler

 

* This is the day the Lord has made, rejoice in it and be glad. God, The Bible. * Do or do not, there is no try. - Yoda
* There are three options in this life; be good, get good, or give up. -- House * Never take counsel of your fears. Stonewall Jackson. 

* level 50 isn't gonna just POOF happen - alienjenn, NF IRC chatroom

 

* I'm not about to give up - Because I heard you say - There's gonna be brighter days… I won't stop, I'll keep my head up - No, I'm not here to stay ...  - 

 I just might bend but I won't break - As long as I can see your face - When life won't play along - And right keeps going wrong - And I can't seem to find my way - I know where I am found - So I won't let it drag me down - Oh, I'll keep dancing anyway - Mercy Me - Move

 

 

Link to post

Dentist today

 

Got my face half numbed and scaled. It was no where near as bad as I feared. Although I went to lunch after and needed a nap. Life without coffee is no bueno. (didn't drink before appointment because I prefer not to puke on the people)

 

(Ok I dunno if I like this with Tapatalk because it doesn't look like the pics are going where I want them)

 

Anyway they did this thing where they doctor a picture of me to show me with white teeth. Lumineers I think they're called. I cried. I don't know the last time I had WHITE teeth. I hate teeth.

 

Sigh4caadf1899cbdad8f47430571b4e2d80.jpg1e808324684a6dcc55685d771c32ecde.jpg

 

Sent from my XT1650 using Tapatalk

 

 

Level 10.4 Wood-Elf, Ranger - specializing in demon fighting

"doing the impossible since 2012 :D" - Librarian of Doom

facebook battle log level 50 WOOT   Backstory CNF2014  current (not challenge - doing a battle log this time)

Spoiler

 

* This is the day the Lord has made, rejoice in it and be glad. God, The Bible. * Do or do not, there is no try. - Yoda
* There are three options in this life; be good, get good, or give up. -- House * Never take counsel of your fears. Stonewall Jackson. 

* level 50 isn't gonna just POOF happen - alienjenn, NF IRC chatroom

 

* I'm not about to give up - Because I heard you say - There's gonna be brighter days… I won't stop, I'll keep my head up - No, I'm not here to stay ...  - 

 I just might bend but I won't break - As long as I can see your face - When life won't play along - And right keeps going wrong - And I can't seem to find my way - I know where I am found - So I won't let it drag me down - Oh, I'll keep dancing anyway - Mercy Me - Move

 

 

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Some of you may remember my teeth brushing escapades and trials ;)

 

 

Here's a copy paste update and book review

 

 

 

 

 

I wanted to bring this conversation about this book over here and just start a new thread (since I was talking about it on the self esteem post but that's not EXACTLY what it's about). I'm copying something I posted, than adding new thoughts. 

 

 

"OMG

 

Listening to this book and thinking I wish like hell I'd found it YEARS ago. BUT then I laughed and laughed because I wasn't ready for it. I can't imagine how my life would have been different had I found it YEARS ago.

 

But it wouldn't have had this perfect impact on me years ago. It's happening in the perfect time. When the pupil is ready the master appears.

 

 

 

And I'm super glad that I'm LISTENING to the book. Because I just bought the book to read again in my own time and I'm realizing that I'd have had a MUCH different reaction to the written words than I'm having to the spoken words.

 

I had an interaction today that I immediately began inquiry on. I started laughing out loud because I heard The Work of Byron Katie in my head "but sweetheart can you absolutely KNOW that it's true?" And I knew it WASN'T true and my visceral reaction in that moment was to be mad and upset. But what I was wanting to be mad and upset about was false!!! So I laughed!! (And then I explained why I was laughing. And played some of the book for him because I heard Katie's voice loud and clear in my head!)"

 

 

 

Also tonight I was super proud about my brushing this month. I've never (as in never ever in all my life ever) been consistent with brushing twice a day. I mean when I still lived at home my mom was still asking me at 17 if I'd brushed before bed. It's just not been something that I've been good at. 

 

 

(Last week I spent five hundred dollars on special cleaning (scaling with numbing) and whitening stuff and a new brush and and and. My mom's teeth were rotting in her mouth from periodontal disease because she didn't have coverage for that. And she always fused over my yellow teeth so I decided to take some money from her life insurance and get my teeth taken care of. I've had insurance since starting with my company I've just never gone.)

 

 

Anyway, back to the book. I starting thinking that it was a little stupid to be proud of brushing my teeth. I'm almost 40 for ducks sake!!!! And I heard Katie's voice "sweetheart, can you really know that's true?" And started crying. I'm like no it's NOT true. Absolutely not. It's not stupid to be proud of the fact that I'm taking care of my body. I can't think of one stress free reason to keep that thought. 

 

 

I can't recommend this book enough. I feel so so so energized in my brain reading this book

 

1d8693264e7ca009c7b988e5f1c3b3f5.jpg

 

e3766126133dedebe42d40cdc46a6c1d.jpg

 

Sent from my XT1650 using Tapatalk

 

 

  • Like 1

Level 10.4 Wood-Elf, Ranger - specializing in demon fighting

"doing the impossible since 2012 :D" - Librarian of Doom

facebook battle log level 50 WOOT   Backstory CNF2014  current (not challenge - doing a battle log this time)

Spoiler

 

* This is the day the Lord has made, rejoice in it and be glad. God, The Bible. * Do or do not, there is no try. - Yoda
* There are three options in this life; be good, get good, or give up. -- House * Never take counsel of your fears. Stonewall Jackson. 

* level 50 isn't gonna just POOF happen - alienjenn, NF IRC chatroom

 

* I'm not about to give up - Because I heard you say - There's gonna be brighter days… I won't stop, I'll keep my head up - No, I'm not here to stay ...  - 

 I just might bend but I won't break - As long as I can see your face - When life won't play along - And right keeps going wrong - And I can't seem to find my way - I know where I am found - So I won't let it drag me down - Oh, I'll keep dancing anyway - Mercy Me - Move

 

 

Link to post

So I know I've been jazzed about my teeth and brushing and whatnot. But I'm excited. 7 day streak of twice a day. And 18 days where it's been at LEAST once a day. I think this is the best I've done in years I like seeing the stickers. I can't wait till I can unpack my travelling bedroom and get my sticker charts out again.

 

(That one Monday I DID once, I just didn't run the app)

 

bdea7e261800e1e24159b8bd361f0349.jpg

 

I miss stickers

 

 

Also I dunno if I've shared a lot of the apartment and whatnot but we have a bunk bed and it super helps with getting out of bed when you got squat doms

 

407baae0cdab441b29d5f884d7826702.jpg

 

(It wouldn't accept the one with better definition for some reason)

 

30bbcca8a484e02bf5db0cbe6fc7a9d6.jpg

 

Made it back into the gym for the first time in a long time. Kept it light though because it's been forever

 

07f63f83f50f349fce59cc2819fb0137.jpg

 

 

 

It feels good to be home

 

4265c1410c35bd82bbb383a579407939.jpg

 

Sent from my XT1650 using Tapatalk

 

 

  • Like 1

Level 10.4 Wood-Elf, Ranger - specializing in demon fighting

"doing the impossible since 2012 :D" - Librarian of Doom

facebook battle log level 50 WOOT   Backstory CNF2014  current (not challenge - doing a battle log this time)

Spoiler

 

* This is the day the Lord has made, rejoice in it and be glad. God, The Bible. * Do or do not, there is no try. - Yoda
* There are three options in this life; be good, get good, or give up. -- House * Never take counsel of your fears. Stonewall Jackson. 

* level 50 isn't gonna just POOF happen - alienjenn, NF IRC chatroom

 

* I'm not about to give up - Because I heard you say - There's gonna be brighter days… I won't stop, I'll keep my head up - No, I'm not here to stay ...  - 

 I just might bend but I won't break - As long as I can see your face - When life won't play along - And right keeps going wrong - And I can't seem to find my way - I know where I am found - So I won't let it drag me down - Oh, I'll keep dancing anyway - Mercy Me - Move

 

 

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Copy paste from one of my groups​

 

 

Hi y'all!

 

I'm Jenn. Just wanted to pop in and introduce myself.

 

I lost my mom in April. She'd been sick for years (she had the first brain surgery when I was 11, today I turn 40). We sometimes joked "if I had a dollar for every time the doctors said "she won't make it through the night" I'd retire a very rich woman". She had many many health problems. Ninety percent of the time, I'm grateful that she's gone. There's no more suffering and no more pain. I believe at this point she's fully healed and in a perfect body and dancing in heaven.

 

But little things send me into a sobbing mess. Like driving to work one day I noticed how much my hands look like hers and I had a total beaches moment and had to play Bette Middler songs and cry sing at the top of my lungs. Like the other day the song we played at her celebration of life came on (funeral for a friend by Elton John) and I couldn't stop crying.

 

Like today, I'm about to get up and celebrate my 40th birthday, and I just want my mom. I feel lost. I'm not usually super emotional about this. Most of the time I'm GLAD she's gone, because she was suffering so much.

 

But I'm feeling wounded today.

 

Sent from my XT1650 using Tapatalk

 

 

Level 10.4 Wood-Elf, Ranger - specializing in demon fighting

"doing the impossible since 2012 :D" - Librarian of Doom

facebook battle log level 50 WOOT   Backstory CNF2014  current (not challenge - doing a battle log this time)

Spoiler

 

* This is the day the Lord has made, rejoice in it and be glad. God, The Bible. * Do or do not, there is no try. - Yoda
* There are three options in this life; be good, get good, or give up. -- House * Never take counsel of your fears. Stonewall Jackson. 

* level 50 isn't gonna just POOF happen - alienjenn, NF IRC chatroom

 

* I'm not about to give up - Because I heard you say - There's gonna be brighter days… I won't stop, I'll keep my head up - No, I'm not here to stay ...  - 

 I just might bend but I won't break - As long as I can see your face - When life won't play along - And right keeps going wrong - And I can't seem to find my way - I know where I am found - So I won't let it drag me down - Oh, I'll keep dancing anyway - Mercy Me - Move

 

 

Link to post

I miss this place. I miss what it used to be. It's hard to be away. But I don't like the new layouts, I can't find what I want. Wah wah wah wah wah

Sigh

Sent from my XT1650 using Tapatalk

Level 10.4 Wood-Elf, Ranger - specializing in demon fighting

"doing the impossible since 2012 :D" - Librarian of Doom

facebook battle log level 50 WOOT   Backstory CNF2014  current (not challenge - doing a battle log this time)

Spoiler

 

* This is the day the Lord has made, rejoice in it and be glad. God, The Bible. * Do or do not, there is no try. - Yoda
* There are three options in this life; be good, get good, or give up. -- House * Never take counsel of your fears. Stonewall Jackson. 

* level 50 isn't gonna just POOF happen - alienjenn, NF IRC chatroom

 

* I'm not about to give up - Because I heard you say - There's gonna be brighter days… I won't stop, I'll keep my head up - No, I'm not here to stay ...  - 

 I just might bend but I won't break - As long as I can see your face - When life won't play along - And right keeps going wrong - And I can't seem to find my way - I know where I am found - So I won't let it drag me down - Oh, I'll keep dancing anyway - Mercy Me - Move

 

 

Link to post

all right Y'ALL!!!

 

I am going to try to be back... who knows... lot's of stuff going on big update later

  • Like 1

Level 10.4 Wood-Elf, Ranger - specializing in demon fighting

"doing the impossible since 2012 :D" - Librarian of Doom

facebook battle log level 50 WOOT   Backstory CNF2014  current (not challenge - doing a battle log this time)

Spoiler

 

* This is the day the Lord has made, rejoice in it and be glad. God, The Bible. * Do or do not, there is no try. - Yoda
* There are three options in this life; be good, get good, or give up. -- House * Never take counsel of your fears. Stonewall Jackson. 

* level 50 isn't gonna just POOF happen - alienjenn, NF IRC chatroom

 

* I'm not about to give up - Because I heard you say - There's gonna be brighter days… I won't stop, I'll keep my head up - No, I'm not here to stay ...  - 

 I just might bend but I won't break - As long as I can see your face - When life won't play along - And right keeps going wrong - And I can't seem to find my way - I know where I am found - So I won't let it drag me down - Oh, I'll keep dancing anyway - Mercy Me - Move

 

 

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