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Evicious | "Oh god, oh god, we're all gonna die?"


Evicious

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Yup, I did it. I officially crashed and burned. As my arbitrary post in the Respawn forum said, I finally died from the long, slow death that is the curse of all soldiers: that strange mixture of cockiness ("I'm a soldier; I do PT every morning! I'm a calorie-burning machine!") and denial ("I only eat fast food because my schedule is so crazy and the DFAC food is horrible!").

 

Fact 1: it is entirely possible to out-eat your workouts.

Fact 2: it is entirely possible to believe Fact 1 is not applicable to you.

Bonus Fact! It is also entirely possible to rationalize total lack of gym time by substituting any number of other frivolous activitiies!

 

But enough bemoaning my demise. Time to reboot and start a NEW character!!! :D I'm a serial start-over-er in my games anyway; I suffer from a bit of perfectionism"noted" and a somewhat short attention span"noted", so I'm easily frustrated or bored if I make too many mistakes or step away from the game very long - or play it too long, as the case may be. That all sounds very terrible, and probably creates a lot of questions about my love of video games, but the flip side is that I love being able to learn from what I did wrong hoarding up new knowledge and making my new character even BETTER than the last one! Other serial restarters know what I'm talking about: there's nothing quite like being on your 6th character reincarnation at level 3 and having all the crap/being well on your way to having all the crap that your earlier character had (finally!) at level 21. You just feel..... smug! :tongue:

 

So this is my restart, and here are my goals (aka, "How I plan on using all this awesome experience I now have in failing to bot through all that previous sucky grinding"):

 

1. 5x5 Stronglifts. I never used a weightlifting program in the past, which was awesome at the time because I got to do a lot of experimenting.... but that childish method of 'run around and poke it with a stick to see what happens' would just be a waste of time at this point. I've worked out the quest progression line now, and I'll go through levels faster if I stick to the path. As noted in the previous paragraph, I'm both a perfectionist and a "- SQUIRREL!!!!!" which is why I've chosen this program. Simple enough that it's easy for me to be both anal about and to stick with: it's difficult even for me to get distracted inside of 3 exercises!

 

2. Calorie recording. I'm very good at counting calories. I'm very bad at trying to eat/drink within a limited number of them. But I make awesome dietary choices so long as I'm aware of them, which is why I've already begun tracking them in my phone.

Example 1: Coworker brings in donuts to the office? No, thank you! I'm already wincing at the very idea of having to enter that in!

Example 2: Second plate of dinner (because my husband is an amazing cook, and I am a willing and widemouthed meal participant) - extra helping of deliciously grilled (yes, you read that right) garlic bread or deliciously grilled kebabs? Hmm, let me compare here.... Yup! Kebabs it is!

 

3. Drink water. Duh, right? It's practically the Army's mantra - screw that bullshit, limp-dick "Army of One" slur no matter what's happening at any given point, you're 99% guaranteed to hear the phrase "Drink water!" at some point. But it's not just a reminder to hydrate (which I really need to do, seeing as I'm in the desert now); it's a way of reminding someone to "figure it out and get on with it".

The full phrase, for those who are interested, is "Take a knee and drink water". You first hear this phrase, or some variation of it, in Basic Training from your Drill Sergeants and it is a literal command to physically kneel, open your cantine and swallow the liquid therein. It begins to transition from a literal phrase to a figurative one when they (the Drill Sergeants) utilize it to neutralize basic trainees' excuses: complain about feeling too hot/feeling ill/suffering muscle failure/being too tired and you will be told to "drink water".

I have a LOT of new things going on in my life right now, and a whole bunch more on the horizon for next year that I need to start preparing for yesterday now. This means I have a looooooot of opportunity to make excuses for not focusing on goals 1 & 2, and some of them are going to be genuine reasons to skip a workout or forget to log a meal. But this 6WC is about habit building more than anything else for me - so I NEED to "drink water".

 

Edited to add: Conquer the Caveman! Learn and practice the Caveman Squat until I convincing enough to lure in a sabertooth cat :)

 

So there they are, my 3 goals + Side Quest!

 

My hope is to log on to NF every day to update here, but I'll be happy if I just manage to keep on track with my goals on my end. I'll likely be logging my workouts on Fitocracy (linked in my sig) and my meals on my phone (because it's stupid-convenient and damn near impossible to forget). But I'll always try to make my posts entertaining, I can promise that much! And I'm a HUGE lurker of other people's threads, so don't be surprised if I have more activity around the site than here.

 

Time to be a leaf on the wind! (Sans impalement)

  • Like 7

Evicious, Khajjit Ranger STR 7 | DEX 13 | STA 3 | CON 6 | WIS 16 | CHA 4

Current 4WC: Evicious: The Unburdening II + Blitz Week!

Fitocracy! I Play To Win!

Keep up the momentum!

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As someone who is also somewhat of an annoying perfectionist, and suffers from shiny moments...I relate to this...

Stalking you from the RPG thread :)

  • Like 1

RES...and I want to live days worth dying for

Current: RES: SET but not always ready

Spoiler

Growth happens when you care more about the well being of your future self than the comfort of your present self!

"Pass on what you have learned. Strength, mastery. But weakness, folly, failure also. Yes, failure most of all. The greatest teacher, failure is." -Yoda

 

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Hopefully Helpful Post #1:

 

A Robot’s Guide to Healthy Living

 

I <3 *LOVE* <3 this particular article of Steve's. Not that that's a surpise, really: I've been through Basic, I know what it feels like to be going through the paces and suddenly wake up from the monotony with that panicked, "HUH?! What?! Where am I? What's happening....?!? Oh, I'm in formation.... right...." And yeah, that sounds ridiculous and manufactured (and twice as horrifying once you grasp that it's not only possible, but true) but there was an upside to being a mindless slab o' meat in camo: holy SHITZNACKERS, did we ever get a lot DONE!!!

 

[slight exaggeration] It felt like I went to bed with the first day's timeline just one giant ball of kitten-tangled yarn and then graduated the next day. [/slight exaggeration]

 

The point is, in spite of my sarcasm, that not having an option whether I did something or not really did remove one of the greatest barriers to productivity and progress known to man: our own intelligence.

 

Granted, there were definitely situations where I would have greatly preferred to be able to stare someone in the face and tell them, "That is the dumbest thing anyone has ever told me to do; you can go f*** yourself." But the point of Basic isn't to let the smart people be smart or the dumb people be.... not dumb. The point is to get YOU to the point where someone can tell you, "It's -13 degrees outside. Put on your winter jacket before you go stand stock-still for the next 4 hrs in the pitchblack of the new moon night for your guard duty during this completely fake field exercise where there is no OP-4 and the only thing you will see is the occasional floaty in your eye, or 1SG might yell at you for being out of uniform," - and you don't even think about questioning the order until your relief is clearly 20 minutes late. 

 

Now, a smart person is NOT going to go stand out in the cold with no other winter clothing on than a jacket just for a pretend reason. But that also means that a smart person is far less likely to know that they are, in fact, capable of doing any of those things and surviving the escapade without harm. We, as a species, are really good at differentiating between life 'n' death situations, and situations we can put off without suffering immediate harm.

 

That's why I smoked for 4 years. Sure, it was gonna kill me eventually - but not today! One of the things that helped me quit was getting it through my head that quitting wasn't an option; I wasn't an ex-smoker, I was now a NON-smoker. I didn't buy cigarettes. I didn't carry a lighter. I didn't hang out at the smoke pit with the smokers. I wasn't someone who "used to" smoke, I was someone who "didn't smoke" - and I didn't smoke anymore, because I didn't smoke - period. Not that I didn't go through withdrawals like a mo-fo: I used to have dreams that someone would hand me  a cigarette, but I had no way to light it! But taking away the options to smoke was a huge advantage during the process. There simply wasn't a choice in the matter: I just didn't smoke. No adjectives to follow.

 

I managed to get into that mindset at the beginning of last year with my workouts and my diets. I didn't struggle with choices or temptations, because everything about my actions on those areas of my life was totally automated. The question, "Am I going to the gym today?" just read as "Error: Page Not Responding". The idea of purposefully going to a fast food restaurant and EATING from it was just a Blue Screen of Death or some kind of mathematical code-gibberish in my brain - "Does not compute" was the only bit I could decipher. AND IT WAS AWESOME!

 

I dropped body fat, was making significant progress on my weights, was faster on my runs, and all around felt pretty shiny about myself. Until I started thinking. I started thinking a little bit here, and a little bit there wasn't any worry. After all, life's little foibles are what make it worth living, right? 

 

Honest opinion, now that I have the hindsight for it - they're actually not. Not really. It's like I was a kid then: it all seemed so cool, and awesome, and "Mooooooommmm, all the other kids have one; why can't I?!" And now I'm an adult and I look at those things and go, "Wow. That was so expensive, and so worthless! Why did I spend my entire allowance on that crap, when I could've been saving up for real life?!" And that leads this rambling pretty much directly back to the article's main point: doing the things you need to do because you don't have any other options. That's what a lot of adulthood is about, as I will forever complain - things like having to have a job, because you have to earn an income, because you have to pay bills.... Ok, it's not a perfect metaphor, because it can be argued that you don't have to do any of those things; we do them because not doing them results in some pretty miserable outcomes, is all. But you get the idea. 

 

Being strong and fit and healthy means you have to eat right and exercise. There is no option, no shortcuts; no crazy metal box you can be locked into and pop out, after being pumped full of fictional vitamins, looking like Captain America. It's an automatic process that is as simple as input = output, and here's the equation:

 

Workout = Get stronger

Eat healthy = Be healthier

 

Get stronger + Be healthier = You're awesome2

 

Part of the point to making workouts and good diet choices a habit is that we don't tend to think much about our habits. My cat doesn't question why she only poops along the left side of the litter box: it's just where she's always pooped, so it's where she will ALWAYS poop. It is a fact of life that I will always find her turds buried against the left side of the litter box, just as the sun will always set in the west. I want that kind of ingrained dedication when it comes to my two challenge goals: to never question the if's or when's of the matter at hand, but to instinctively make the same choices I made yesterday. That, more than any progress I may make on my lifts or pant size, is the true prize I hope to attain over these next 6 weeks.

 

TL;DR - I learned to be a robot in the Army and it helped me make lots of progress on my physical fitness, including quitting smoking, but I f***ed it up by developing "AI" and now I have to relearn which side of the litter box to shit on.

  • Like 6

Evicious, Khajjit Ranger STR 7 | DEX 13 | STA 3 | CON 6 | WIS 16 | CHA 4

Current 4WC: Evicious: The Unburdening II + Blitz Week!

Fitocracy! I Play To Win!

Keep up the momentum!

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I relate on way too many levels.  Good luck!  

 

Be patient with yourself on the Strong Lifts program - there is a lot more nuance to those five basic exercises than anyone gives them credit for.

 

Caveman squats - start doing them now.  It'll help *a lot*.

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Consistent logging plus following a program has done wonders for me, I'm sure it will for you (and anybody else out there who gives it a try). I'm looking forward to reading all about it.

  • Like 2

"Curtain's up. Everyone's waiting for the hero to take the stage. And the spotlight's on you now." - Alfred, to Dick Grayson, Batman and Robin #2

 

Current Challenge

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Great posts!

I'm looking forward to dropping in, catching up, and cheering you on.

  • Like 1

&Heidi

Spoiler

Gypsy Druid

Ranger1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 ::

Druid8 | 9 | 1011  | 12 | 13 |:: 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |:: 1920 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 |:: 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 |:: 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 |:: 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53| 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 |:: 61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | :: 70 |

Paladin71 | 72 | 73 | 74 | 75 | 76 | :: 77 | 78 | 79 | 80 | 81 |

Shaman: 82 | 83 | 84

Philosopher-Librarian 85 |:: 86 | 87 | 88 | 89 |

Heidi Chronicles  NF Character Sheet | @theheidifeed| MySlashdotKarmaIsExcellent

 Walk to Mordor - (spreadsheet) Let's catch up: https://calendly.com/loveandpeace

 

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I relate on way too many levels.  Good luck!  

 

Be patient with yourself on the Strong Lifts program - there is a lot more nuance to those five basic exercises than anyone gives them credit for.

 

Caveman squats - start doing them now.  It'll help *a lot*.

 

Caveman squats, eh? TO THE GOOGLE MACHINE!!!! (I checked your profile, but looks like you don't have a challenge thread for this 6WC. Guess I'll just have to stalk you the ol' fashioned way! ;) )

 

 

Consistent logging plus following a program has done wonders for me, I'm sure it will for you (and anybody else out there who gives it a try). I'm looking forward to reading all about it.

 

Thanks for the encouragement! It helps to know that others have had success with this strange combination of methods. :) Feel free to yell at me if I skip either piece of the equation.

 

 

Really enjoyed your posts! Subbed!

 

Heya, thank you! Sub'd to yours, too!

 

 

Great posts!

I'm looking forward to dropping in, catching up, and cheering you on.

 

Danke! I will do my best to keep things lively! 

 

 

Nice, subbing.

 

Ditto, pretty lady! Looking forward to the next couple of weeks! (And then I will begin to drag my feet and whine, and I will just have to hope there are nice people like yourself out there who will help kick me back into gear - you  might want to begin practicing steeling yourself against my [written] puppy-eyes. I have phenomenal puppy-eyes in print!)

  • Like 2

Evicious, Khajjit Ranger STR 7 | DEX 13 | STA 3 | CON 6 | WIS 16 | CHA 4

Current 4WC: Evicious: The Unburdening II + Blitz Week!

Fitocracy! I Play To Win!

Keep up the momentum!

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This is the article that started me down the caveman squat (also known as a third world squat or a flat-footed squat): http://www.t-nation.com/readArticle.do?id=1856085

 

Another article - they call it "full squatting": http://www.somastruct.com/5-reasons-to-start-full-squatting/

 

A fellow's blog with references to other video tutorials and mobility drills revolving around full squatting: http://www.iveneverdonethat.com/blog_files/squat5min.html

 

This is one of the better videos - I don't endorse any of his other videos, but I've found this one to be pretty good:

 

One of the reasons why I'm such a big fan of this is because when treated as a stretch (versus a dynamic squat), it will stretch out your hips, hip flexors, your knees, and your ankles.  When I first started trying the barbell back squat, I was wobbling all over the place, my abductors were so tight they could play Mozart's 5th, and my knee was on fire.  I stepped back (hobbled, really) from the barbell squat and spent two months working on the caveman - [EtA: my barbell back squat was so much better.  Which reminds me, I need to get a form video up.] Once you can get comfortable, you can do it for reps to build up all the synergistic muscles involved in the squat.

 

It's humbling and your knees may feel like glass initially, but it gets so much better with practice.

  • Like 4
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Thanks, TMedina! This looks like EXACTLY what I need! My knees crackle like Rice Krispies from bursitis, and the pain has moved from "You recently did something dumb, asshole," to "Oh, I'm sorry - did you think you could just STAND UP from the couch? LOLZ!" The official verdict is that mobility work and Ibuprofen are the only things that are going to make any difference, but no one in the Army seems entirely sure what "mobility work" is supposed to mean so I've focused solely on the latter.

 

New Side Quest: Conquer the Caveman!!! :D

  • Like 2

Evicious, Khajjit Ranger STR 7 | DEX 13 | STA 3 | CON 6 | WIS 16 | CHA 4

Current 4WC: Evicious: The Unburdening II + Blitz Week!

Fitocracy! I Play To Win!

Keep up the momentum!

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I'll dig up the yoga/knee stretching drills I have lying around.  

 

If you're feeling adventurous, you might consider adding a bit of yoga to your routine - the "30 days of Yoga" challenge is free and potentially interesting.  

 

When you start conquering the caveman, you'll want to be sure to stretch out everything from the waist down.  

 

EtA: 

 

There are plenty of different stretches for hips, legs, ankles, and so on - these are the ones I'm fond of using.  
 
The Yoga "Figure 4" stretch.  Also known as "threading the needle" and "Sucirandhrasana"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RkrXK4NQnpw
 
A series of three yoga stretches for runners (hip flexors and all points south)
 
The Couch stretch for hip flexors:
 
"Knee down twist" - you've probably done this during PT.
 
"Shoulder dislocations"
 
*Not relevant to the caveman, but this will come in very handy when you're working on your barbell squat.  You can also use a jump rope in place of the broomstick.
 
The usual lower back stretches are also helpful - "the lower back stretch!" (seated or standing)
 
The seated adductor stretch.
 
Hamstring and adductor stretch.
  • Like 4
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I'll dig up the yoga/knee stretching drills I have lying around.... 

 

 

Wow, TMedina, this is just a tidal wave of awesome info! Thank you for taking the time to find all these and post them for me! 

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Evicious, your posts are full of awesome.

 

All the kudos for becoming a non-smoker. I wish I could somehow get your mindset into the heads of several people I love.

 

You're going to rock this!

 

Gracias, Freemont! And keep up your hope: smokers ain't idiots, they're a rainbow of addicts - all different proportions of denial, apathy, fear and wistfullness. They run the gamut, but the common thread is that they've all got a cycle going on in their heads where they think about quitting. Some people only entertain the idea once a year; others, once a day. But they ALL think about it. There's no magic switch for most of them that you can flip, but if you're always supportive of even the idea of quitting (which they've probably mentioned in passing or flippantly too many times for you to count by now) that's a tiny nudge in their minds in the right direction. No one who was ever sarcastic, or disbelieving, or non-committal to me when I'd say things like, "I really ought to stop smoking," ever made me angry enough to quit. Hell, most smokers smoke because they're upset! So stay positive and gentle: the smokers in your life know they're hurting themselves, and I promise you there is a part of them that would like to stop. But it's a personal issue that only they can address, as all health issues are. Be patient and love them regardless - you'll save them at least one cigarette they may have smoked to spite you if you were nasty about it. :)

 

I love Phoe-B! A lot of rebels shorten it to PB, but that confuses me when they also use it to mean Personal Best. Or Peanut Butter. Phoe-B works.

 

YES! Phoe-B it is!!! :D

  • Like 2

Evicious, Khajjit Ranger STR 7 | DEX 13 | STA 3 | CON 6 | WIS 16 | CHA 4

Current 4WC: Evicious: The Unburdening II + Blitz Week!

Fitocracy! I Play To Win!

Keep up the momentum!

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Great to see you back! I am looking forward to your skull-crushing, strength-building, knee-rehabbing, water-drinking, kick butt challenge!

  • Like 1

All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity:

but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible.

~T. E. Lawrence

 

When we contemplate the whole globe as one great dewdrop, striped and dotted with continents and islands,

flying through space with other stars all singing and shining together as one, the whole universe appears as an infinite storm of beauty. 
~John Muir

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Great to see you back! I am looking forward to your skull-crushing, strength-building, knee-rehabbing, water-drinking, kick butt challenge!

 

Merci, ShadowLion! Now I must go find some skulls... oh wait, there's a mod for that in Skyrim. On it!!!! :P

  • Like 2

Evicious, Khajjit Ranger STR 7 | DEX 13 | STA 3 | CON 6 | WIS 16 | CHA 4

Current 4WC: Evicious: The Unburdening II + Blitz Week!

Fitocracy! I Play To Win!

Keep up the momentum!

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Gracias, Freemont! And keep up your hope: smokers ain't idiots, they're a rainbow of addicts - all different proportions of denial, apathy, fear and wistfullness. They run the gamut, but the common thread is that they've all got a cycle going on in their heads where they think about quitting. Some people only entertain the idea once a year; others, once a day. But they ALL think about it. There's no magic switch for most of them that you can flip, but if you're always supportive of even the idea of quitting (which they've probably mentioned in passing or flippantly too many times for you to count by now) that's a tiny nudge in their minds in the right direction. No one who was ever sarcastic, or disbelieving, or non-committal to me when I'd say things like, "I really ought to stop smoking," ever made me angry enough to quit. Hell, most smokers smoke because they're upset! So stay positive and gentle: the smokers in your life know they're hurting themselves, and I promise you there is a part of them that would like to stop. But it's a personal issue that only they can address, as all health issues are. Be patient and love them regardless - you'll save them at least one cigarette they may have smoked to spite you if you were nasty about it. :)

 

 

Thanks for your perspective. My mom has smoked cigarettes most of her life and has cut back or quit several times, but not recently. I don't have much hope of her quitting these days--she turns 70 this year.

 

My boyfriend smokes cigars, but he seems to enjoy them rather than doing it when he's upset. I feel a little bad because I'd like him to stop not just for his own health, but for my comfort as well. I hate the smell, though it's not nearly as bad as cigarettes.

 

thus ends the threadjack.

 

Let the Evicious awsomeness continue!

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I really admire everything you wrote about your military training. It makes a lot of sense.

 

The thread has inspired me to add in weekly work on squats. I'm already planning to spend time hanging out in half-lotus, so this will be one more good thing to add. Thanks guys.

And I love the Phoe-B idea. Very cool!

Xena, Level 14+ Valkyrie Ranger

January 2017  December 2016

Oct/Nov 2016

 

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