LittleTurtle's Quest to 20!

[LittleTurtle]

OK.  Here's what happened last night:  I've been really wanting wheat the last couple of days, but instead of eating what I wanted, I ended up eating too much of something else.  Of course, I felt horrible afterwards, but then I had an epiphany.  I truly need to stop trying to eliminate certain foods from my diet.  The problem isn't what I'm eating - it's how I'm eating.  It seems like I have a tendency to eat as though it's the last meal I'll ever have.

So I really began to contemplate what my issue is and where it could have possibly stemmed from, and then I remembered a story my Mom told me about when I was an infant:  Apparently, when she was nursing me at some point during my infancy - her milk ducts ran dry or something.  Anyway, I was losing weight like crazy, so she took me to the doctor to see what was wrong.  He was brutal and very tactless when he informed her that her milk ducts were dry and she'd basically been starving me...(or something along those lines).  I started to wonder if I have some kind of ingrained fear from infancy that there is a possibility that I will run out of food at some point.

 

I've decided that from this day forward - challenge goals or not - I am not eliminating ANY food from my diet.  Instead, I absolutely MUST be very mindful about my intake of all foods.  I need to try to break my habit of over-eating (especially when I'm craving something that I'm trying to not eat).  

 

 

Today...at this very moment - I begin to work on "Mindful Eating".  I'm open to suggestions.  

 

Whew.  That feels good to get out in the open...

[Sunmage]

Very very interesting! Thanks for sharing that.

 

Once I saw a real(not one who suffered and went back after some time ) raw food guy eating. He was totally immersed and 150% at that moment with his food in mind and nothing else. Mindfulness really seems to make a difference.

 

When mindfulness with food was one of my priorities I felt into everything I was about to eat. I listened to my body and what the idea of eating it made for changes.

 

Was a very interesting time, but right now all I care about is getting enough calories in without getting sick^^

 

 

Good luck and congratulations!

[The Swedish Ninja]

I wonder if we somehow are synced mentally??? Friday I kind of lost it as well (food wise) and even though I hadn't the same epiphany as you, I have revised my goals and am trying to look at the root of my food issues rather than the symptom (overeating)

 

Mindful eating is truly great, but I too do it way to seldom. As for tips, the only thing I can say is to slow down. At the beginning, don't focus on "being mindful", just eat sloooooow. Pick up your fork, put some food on it, put it in your mouth, PUT IT DOWN (i.e., don't begin preparing for another bite until you are finished chewing your current one).

 

But I have to say, do I really have to tell a turtle this?? Doesn't already take you 20 min to eat a leaf of salad

[LittleTurtle]

This article.  I liked it.  A lot.  

 

 

Very very interesting! Thanks for sharing that.

 

Once I saw a real(not one who suffered and went back after some time ) raw food guy eating. He was totally immersed and 150% at that moment with his food in mind and nothing else. Mindfulness really seems to make a difference.

 

When mindfulness with food was one of my priorities I felt into everything I was about to eat. I listened to my body and what the idea of eating it made for changes.

 

Was a very interesting time, but right now all I care about is getting enough calories in without getting sick^^

 

 

Good luck and congratulations!

Thank you!  

 

I wonder if we somehow are synced mentally??? Friday I kind of lost it as well (food wise) and even though I hadn't the same epiphany as you, I have revised my goals and am trying to look at the root of my food issues rather than the symptom (overeating)

 

Mindful eating is truly great, but I too do it way to seldom. As for tips, the only thing I can say is to slow down. At the beginning, don't focus on "being mindful", just eat sloooooow. Pick up your fork, put some food on it, put it in your mouth, PUT IT DOWN (i.e., don't begin preparing for another bite until you are finished chewing your current one).

 

But I have to say, do I really have to tell a turtle this?? Doesn't already take you 20 min to eat a leaf of salad

 

Ohmygosh!  The whole thing about not preparing for another bite until I finish chewing the current one?!  Perfect!!!  That is what I needed to hear.  Thank you so much!  

[Nusuth]

the first excercise in a mindfullnes course is allways :  Eating one raisin.     You could keep this as a backup plan for when you forget to practice :  in the evening take your 2-5min time to eat  something really mindfull.   And hope the continuous practice rubbs off on your daily meals.

[LittleTurtle]

the first excercise in a mindfullnes course is allways :  Eating one raisin.     You could keep this as a backup plan for when you forget to practice :  in the evening take your 2-5min time to eat  something really mindfull.   And hope the continuous practice rubbs off on your daily meals.

So yeah...

 

I've been trying this a bit.  It's really hard!  Like REALLY hard!  My brain tells me to slow down, but my stomach says, "One almond?  Are you fucking kidding me?!"

 

[Nusuth]

hehehe.  allso very annoying when someone catches you in the process of 'playing' with the thing.  looking at it, touching it, pushing it, examining it, balancing on your finger, tongue , sucking , nibbling, biting, chewing.  finally swallowing the thiny thing.  They'll think you've lost it completely ^^

[LadyGrey]

Thanks for checking in with me I thought i would drop in and check on you too. 

 

Yes, mindful eating is extremely challenging. Especially for me. I don't want to eat slow, I don't want to stare at it. I just want gobble it. And then some. I understand how you feel about eating like it's your last meal or something. That is me all the time. I wasn't dealing with portion controls in my current challenge, just mindless eating/vegging/snacking. Very hard. And I have about lost patience with it. But I am so close to the end. 

 

On a good note, I have had no binging today. Not like the last 2 days... ugh.

[LittleTurtle]

Thanks for checking in with me I thought i would drop in and check on you too. 

 

Yes, mindful eating is extremely challenging. Especially for me. I don't want to eat slow, I don't want to stare at it. I just want gobble it. And then some. I understand how you feel about eating like it's your last meal or something. That is me all the time. I wasn't dealing with portion controls in my current challenge, just mindless eating/vegging/snacking. Very hard. And I have about lost patience with it. But I am so close to the end. 

 

On a good note, I have had no binging today. Not like the last 2 days... ugh.

Congrats on not binging for the past couple days!  That's amazing!  

 

Next challenge, we should try to keep each other accountable in regards to mindful eating.  

[LadyGrey]

Next challenge, we should try to keep each other accountable in regards to mindful eating.  

Sounds good! 

[LittleTurtle]

VERY minor victory:

 

I bought a small bag of gummy bears last night and just when I started to shove them by the handful into my mouth, I stopped, set them down for a minute, and then I took ONE gummy bear and chewed it for one full minute.  I did that about 4 times before I felt satisfied and didn't want anymore.

 

Baby steps for the win.

[Chanda]

I've done the 1 raisin mindfulness exercise. I haven't eaten another since... Its just too much hard work to look at/smell/feel/eat a raisin that slowly! And if you've been good and put away the packet of raisins in the kitchen cupboards then walked elsewhere to eat that raisin, there is no way you are getting up for another serving of 1 raisin. Come to think of it I should do that with all my snacks.

 

Now seriously, for the past 4 weeks my family and I have been eating our way through a packet of jelly beans (100g 3.5ounce). Once or twice a week if/when someone remembers we each get 5 jelly beans after dinner... and we try to guess the flavours. We all have great fun, savour the favourite flavours and no one even thinks of having more.

[Nusuth]

Sounds good! 

 

i'm up for that aswell , I think I've read in Munin's challenge about similar thoughts.  We've got a posse of minfull people

 

oh & btw :  a late thank you for your idea of substituting sugar items, It has helped me a lot.

[LittleTurtle]

Well, I suppose it's time for a wrap up.

I believe I learned more during this challenge than any other challenge that I've participated in. I now have a better understanding of my eating habits…it's now just a matter of working on improving them! I feel like I've made great improvements in things like squats and lunges. I'm also very aware of my water intake. I may not have reached my goal amount everyday, but I did make a solid effort on a daily basis. I probably could've done better overall, but I'm very happy with the progress I've made. I need to get another body fat % reading soon to see if the number went down...

In other news, I forced myself to talk to my doctor about my depression. I've been feeling very down lately, and all I want to do when I'm not at work is sleep. And no matter how much sleep I get, I'm always tired, disconnected, and lifeless. She had me do a repeat of a questionnaire that I did a little over a year ago and seemed concerned with my answers, so she recommended that I double my dose of Prozac and see her in two weeks.

I'm longing to feel like me again. I'm tired of feeling like getting through each day is a giant struggle.

[Nusuth]

I totally dig your doctor visit.  I remember clearly my thought when I decided to see mine some years ago : 'Dude: with this baseline of negative thoughts and feeling, for as long as I remember now, there's no way I can improve myself by exercise alone.  They had me on 'citolapram', it's of the same family as yours(I still have a box, i checked, it's going to expire 07/2015 ) .  The 'neutral' feeling when the stuff cruises on after a month of so, is such a relief. 

 

So big kudo's that your taking your fighting chance and doing well on your squats & lunges & eating habits.  the strength training is so important for feeling well.  I'm hitting my head against the wall after reading last weeks Steve's post on Strength training : how could I forget, how could I've let it slide again.  Strength training makes you feel well.  It's as subtle an SSRI, but as powerfull.  After a set of strength training the next day & a bit less the day after you kinda feel 'energetic'.  It doesn't shield you for all the shit of the world or even a working day, but it's like starting the day with a power-up ^^  ; and even if you're cursing the doms, it's empowering since it's your own shizzle.

 

Anyways, hoping the double-dose works out for you & you're with us next challenge !   /aims a mighty shoulder slap ^^

[Heidi]

LT!

Good work on talking with the doctor.

Question: Do you know what your Vitamin D and B12 levels are? These can have a huge impact on listlessness and nonrestorative sleep.

Also, there is such a thing as Prozac poop-out, where the drug just stops working all of a sudden. It's sad, because it's more likely to happen in folks who have great response to the drug (I was one of them). So be mindful of that as well.

 

So glad to see you again. Sorry I was away.

 

Big hugs for next challenge! (Don't forget to give us a link)

[LittleTurtle]

I totally dig your doctor visit.  I remember clearly my thought when I decided to see mine some years ago : 'Dude: with this baseline of negative thoughts and feeling, for as long as I remember now, there's no way I can improve myself by exercise alone.  They had me on 'citolapram', it's of the same family as yours(I still have a box, i checked, it's going to expire 07/2015 ) .  The 'neutral' feeling when the stuff cruises on after a month of so, is such a relief. 

 

So big kudo's that your taking your fighting chance and doing well on your squats & lunges & eating habits.  the strength training is so important for feeling well.  I'm hitting my head against the wall after reading last weeks Steve's post on Strength training : how could I forget, how could I've let it slide again.  Strength training makes you feel well.  It's as subtle an SSRI, but as powerfull.  After a set of strength training the next day & a bit less the day after you kinda feel 'energetic'.  It doesn't shield you for all the shit of the world or even a working day, but it's like starting the day with a power-up ^^  ; and even if you're cursing the doms, it's empowering since it's your own shizzle.

 

Anyways, hoping the double-dose works out for you & you're with us next challenge !   /aims a mighty shoulder slap ^^

I do love strength training!  It makes me feel like a secret superhero!  Sometimes I get frustrated if I feel like my form isn't quite right, but my boyfriend has been helping me with that, so I feel like I enjoy it even more!

 

See you on the next challenge!  

 

 

LT!

Good work on talking with the doctor.

Question: Do you know what your Vitamin D and B12 levels are? These can have a huge impact on listlessness and nonrestorative sleep.

Also, there is such a thing as Prozac poop-out, where the drug just stops working all of a sudden. It's sad, because it's more likely to happen in folks who have great response to the drug (I was one of them). So be mindful of that as well.

 

So glad to see you again. Sorry I was away.

 

Big hugs for next challenge! (Don't forget to give us a link)

I know that my Vitamin D levels are low - my doctor did a special blood draw on me last year and said that it was on the lower side and would definitely go even lower during the winter months, so I take a 2,000 IU Vitamin D supplement every day in the winter and 1,000 IU for all the other seasons.  My vitamin B12 levels were right in the norm the last time I had my blood checked (Oct 2014). 

 

Sometimes I wonder about my iron levels?  I need to go find my paperwork from my last health assessment to review things.  

 

I really hope I don't "poop-out" on Prozac!  It's been the best antidepressant I've ever had.  Did you have to switch to something else when the Prozac stopped working for you?

 

See you at the next challenge!!