The Legend of the Mad Monk: Transition

[Machete]

A MONK LEAVES THE TEMPLE

 

 

And so it comes to pass, Machete is exiled from the temple and must now live amongst the the people. He knows little about the outside world; he hears it is a very unforgiving place. Armed with the anachronistic skills he acquired over the years, he must find his way to properly assimilate. This may or may not be his greatest challenge yet.

 

 

THE QUEST

 

Communicate (+2 WIS, +2 CHA)

The hermit's life creates a disconnect with society. The skill of language decreases this gap. Gain 10XP every day in Duolingo Spanish.

 

Remember Your Training (+4 STR)

The life of a civilian is not an excuse to let oneself go. Perform 2 progressive pullup sessions a week.

 

Attunement (+4 WIS)

Cultivate the understanding of one's greatest weapon and the enemy's--the human body. Pass NSCA CSCS exam.

 

SIDE QUEST

 

The Way of the Dragon (+3 WIS)

Finish reading The Tao of Jeet Kune Do.

 

THE MOTIVATION

 

 

 

P.S. Sorry I'm late, by the way.

[TheAccountant]

Leaving the military is like dungeons and dragons without a dungeon master. It's like making it to endgame with no endgame content. When war has become boring, what the F*ck is interesting?

Good luck with the CSCS exam. I'm pretty sure you going to smoke it.

[Kishi]

Shaw Bros. to signify a leaving? Hell yeah.

 

Lemme know how the CSCS goes. Since my cert expired, I've been wondering about where to go next, or if I shouldn't even worry about it until I'm decently fit.

[Machete]

Leaving the military is like dungeons and dragons without a dungeon master. It's like making it to endgame with no endgame content. When war has become boring, what the F*ck is interesting?

Good luck with the CSCS exam. I'm pretty sure you going to smoke it.

 

I was the Beverly Hills ninja of the Infantry anyway. It really wasn't a good fit for me personally.

 

It did kill my sex drive, which has led to a rather "boring" yet extremely productive life.

 

 

 

Shaw Bros. to signify a leaving? Hell yeah.

 

Lemme know how the CSCS goes. Since my cert expired, I've been wondering about where to go next, or if I shouldn't even worry about it until I'm decently fit.

 

Expired? Which one did you have?

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Anyway, WEEK 1 Quest Log:

Communicate: 3/7 days.

Remember Your Training: 3x3 and 3x4. Struggle. Not the best form.

Attunement: Passed both tests. I'd like to say I made that test my bitch, but in reality it was a huge headache. I got an hour of sleep the night prior worrying about it. It seemed unnecessarily overcomplicated to me. I definitely learned a lot, especially the science part.

[Arawlins]

No clue what those exam initials mean, but buena surete a aprendiendo espanol. Caps que necicitamos un lugar para que se puede aprender or practicar.

 

Not a native speaker but I can give you things to have to translate, and I am out of practice anyway. It has been almost 15 years since I was in South America.

 

Ha sido un buen tiempo que he practicado. Aprende con Uguguayshos, y todos que vivan acerca de me hablan una forma de español differente.

[Kishi]

I had a World Instructor's Training School certificate which was being offered through one of the community colleges around here. I never had the money, the time, or the inclination to do my CECs, especially when I realized that the certification's newness combined with my own lack of physical prowess were holding me back from working in the field. So, when it expired, I just let it go. I didn't really think it was worth the effort.

 

So, uh. I dunno if you noticed, but this week's challenge is about asking questions. So, I wanted to ask you: how'd you do it? I mean, you fight and you're shredded and you're strong as hell. You do and are all the things I wish I was, so just how the hell did you do it? Was it a function of being in the military and strength being your job, or can you point to something specific that got you where you are now?

[TheAccountant]

So, uh. I dunno if you noticed, but this week's challenge is about asking questions. So, I wanted to ask you: how'd you do it? I mean, you fight and you're shredded and you're strong as hell. You do and are all the things I wish I was, so just how the hell did you do it? Was it a function of being in the military and strength being your job, or can you point to something specific that got you where you are now?

Beverly Hills Ninja or not, your pretty inspirational Machete. Understand you weren't born ginormous. But I give any small dude in the Infantry much respect, it's a hard enough life if your over six feet.

[Machete]

No clue what those exam initials mean, but buena surete a aprendiendo espanol. Caps que necicitamos un lugar para que se puede aprender or practicar.

 

Not a native speaker but I can give you things to have to translate, and I am out of practice anyway. It has been almost 15 years since I was in South America.

 

Ha sido un buen tiempo que he practicado. Aprende con Uguguayshos, y todos que vivan acerca de me hablan una forma de español differente.

 

Gracias señor.

 

The exam initials represent is a certificate by the National Strength & Conditioning Association.

 

I had a World Instructor's Training School certificate which was being offered through one of the community colleges around here. I never had the money, the time, or the inclination to do my CECs, especially when I realized that the certification's newness combined with my own lack of physical prowess were holding me back from working in the field. So, when it expired, I just let it go. I didn't really think it was worth the effort.

 

So, uh. I dunno if you noticed, but this week's challenge is about asking questions. So, I wanted to ask you: how'd you do it? I mean, you fight and you're shredded and you're strong as hell. You do and are all the things I wish I was, so just how the hell did you do it? Was it a function of being in the military and strength being your job, or can you point to something specific that got you where you are now?

 

Ah. Yeah, those CECs are a pain. One of the reasons I like the NASM PES, besides its practicality, is that it doesn't expire.

 

Thank you. Strength just helps with the job, since I'm not at all naturally strong. But I actually think Army physical training requirements (i.e. run 5 miles in formation at a moderate pace) held me back a bit at times, although I believe the early wake ups and the free gyms did very well to incentivize physical performance improvement. Honestly I think it's the no sex thing illustrated by George Costanza on the previous video. Sex, and chasing after it just seems to take up a lot of our time as guys. (I don't think it's necessarily our fault, really.) Haven't been laid in a while, and I've mostly accepted it. I also mostly had friends at the gym, so it merges my social time with training. Also life as a barracks rat was fairly simple--no bills, minimal cleaning, and laundry was only a few rooms down and work was across the street. I'm probably going to have a bit of trouble adjusting to having to drive to work, paying bills, and taking care of a dog.

 

Beverly Hills Ninja or not, your pretty inspirational Machete. Understand you weren't born ginormous. But I give any small dude in the Infantry much respect, it's a hard enough life if your over six feet.

 

Thank you. Haha. I initially joined as an X-ray too, but Infantry school made me realize really quickly that I may not be cut out for it. This was pretty much me. I have a feeling that it's some kind of ongoing Army-wide inside joke by senior leaders or something.

[Taijibum]

I was the Beverly Hills ninja of the Infantry anyway. It really wasn't a good fit for me personally.

 

Hahaha! So was I and then through a fluke back in 1991 just before the 1st Gulf War the Army was restructured and I got transferred to Special Operations Command. I failed to volunteer several times to get there because to be honest, I was a sucky soldier, but through some sort of accident of fate I got transferred into my dream unit. I sucked there too.

[Kishi]

Ah. Yeah, those CECs are a pain. One of the reasons I like the NASM PES, besides its practicality, is that it doesn't expire.

 

Thank you. Strength just helps with the job, since I'm not at all naturally strong. But I actually think Army physical training requirements (i.e. run 5 miles in formation at a moderate pace) held me back a bit at times, although I believe the early wake ups and the free gyms did very well to incentivize physical performance improvement. Honestly I think it's the no sex thing illustrated by George Costanza on the previous video. Sex, and chasing after it just seems to take up a lot of our time as guys. (I don't think it's necessarily our fault, really.) Haven't been laid in a while, and I've mostly accepted it. I also mostly had friends at the gym, so it merges my social time with training. Also life as a barracks rat was fairly simple--no bills, minimal cleaning, and laundry was only a few rooms down and work was across the street. I'm probably going to have a bit of trouble adjusting to having to drive to work, paying bills, and taking care of a dog.

 

Ah, yeah. I see. So, just lots of opportunity and incentive to work. Gotcha. Cool.

 

Damn, wish I'd heard of that cert beforehand. It only would have been an extra couple hundred bucks, and that way I could still keep myself in the field officially. D'oh!

[Machete]

WEEK 2 Quest Log:

Communicate: 6/7 days. Hell yeah.

Remember Your Training: 4x3 and 4x4. Form is slacking. May need to add some assistance work. Also, QUEST UPDATE: complete 10'000 KB Swings.

 

Ah, yeah. I see. So, just lots of opportunity and incentive to work. Gotcha. Cool.

 

Damn, wish I'd heard of that cert beforehand. It only would have been an extra couple hundred bucks, and that way I could still keep myself in the field officially. D'oh!

 

Yeah, NASM is a good organization overall. Widely-recognized, and they have multiple certs (including an MMA Conditioning one). I think 90% of NBA S&C coaches have that cert.

[Machete]

WEEK 3 Quest Log:

Communicate: 6/7 days.

Remember Your Training: 5x3 and 5x4. 2'000 KB Swings.

[TheAccountant]

Two Thousand KB Swings.....That is mad monk.

S&C coaches...Bah Humbug.

Our S&C coach at work will not let me deadlift, squat, clean OR press. I have to do alternates for all those events until I get my silly "mobility" and form correct. I mean, no bodybuilding personal trainer every told me I couldn't do an exercise just because my form was crap, they just put me on a machine. Why do I have to have correct form for Olympic Lifts...Whatever...

Just kidding.

[Kishi]

Man, 200 swings is one thing, but 2000?

 

Damn. You are in a different league.

[Sloth the Enduring]

Damn. How's the back feeling?

[Machete]

Two Thousand KB Swings.....That is mad monk.

S&C coaches...Bah Humbug.

Our S&C coach at work will not let me deadlift, squat, clean OR press. I have to do alternates for all those events until I get my silly "mobility" and form correct. I mean, no bodybuilding personal trainer every told me I couldn't do an exercise just because my form was crap, they just put me on a machine. Why do I have to have correct form for Olympic Lifts...Whatever...

Just kidding.

 

Haha. I guess trainers like to over-emphasize safety, with the potential lawsuits and the possibility of losing clients and/or credibility. With all the "CrossFit is dangerous" talk going around a lot of people have been trying to emphasize form, sometimes to the point of overemphasis.

 

Unfortunately, the Internet Form Squad think it vital that you only do these after spending $1'000 at a seminar hosted by your "Local Box Jumpers". Furthermore, apparently the Power Clean, the Snatch, and anything you do that a hook grip COULD be used on requires the same skill as walking a tight rope across the Grand Canyon. One mistake means death. Yep, nothing is more difficult or insane than walking up to a barbell, picking it up, and placing it on your shoulders. The Power Clean and Snatch is only hard because someone is telling you it is. (Jim Wendler)

 

Gray Cook of FMS suggests that if one doesn't have the mobility to perform the full deadlift, limit the range of motion. *gasp (I'm in the Monastery, so I'm safe here. I can be as sacrilegious as I want to be.) No reason to deprive a person of the joys of a heavy deadlift. The same principle appears to guide USAW's Jim Schmitz when teaching the snatch.

 

Man, 200 swings is one thing, but 2000?

 

Damn. You are in a different league.

Damn. How's the back feeling?

 

500 a day, 4-5 days a week. It's in one of the most popular articles in T Nation, by Dan John. The goal is 10'000 KB swings, because monotony rarely bores me.

 

Back is actually feeling fine. I was only sore the first few days.

[TheAccountant]

Haha. I guess trainers like to over-emphasize safety, with the potential lawsuits and the possibility of losing clients and/or credibility. With all the "CrossFit is dangerous" talk going around a lot of people have been trying to emphasize form, sometimes to the point of overemphasis.

Unfortunately, the Internet Form Squad think it vital that you only do these after spending $1'000 at a seminar hosted by your "Local Box Jumpers". Furthermore, apparently the Power Clean, the Snatch, and anything you do that a hook grip COULD be used on requires the same skill as walking a tight rope across the Grand Canyon. One mistake means death. Yep, nothing is more difficult or insane than walking up to a barbell, picking it up, and placing it on your shoulders. The Power Clean and Snatch is only hard because someone is telling you it is. (Jim Wendler)

Gray Cook of FMS suggests that if one doesn't have the mobility to perform the full deadlift, limit the range of motion. *gasp (I'm in the Monastery, so I'm safe here. I can be as sacrilegious as I want to be.) No reason to deprive a person of the joys of a heavy deadlift. The same principle appears to guide USAW's Jim Schmitz when teaching the snatch.

Thank god you said this. I'm so sick of not being able to lift heavy that I'm about to go back to "bodybuilding style" lifts. I'm not a freaking professional athlete and I'm not a competitive martial artist. My "performance" doesn't have to be world class, I'm just a dude trying to keep his man card as he gets older. I'll live without "explosive hips".

[Kishi]

Well, progress is boring and monotony should mean progress to a certain extent, right?

 

Man, I love T-Nation, but they do jack-all for calisthenics, so a lot of what they say just seems tricky to benefit from for me.

[Machete]

Thank god you said this. I'm so sick of not being able to lift heavy that I'm about to go back to "bodybuilding style" lifts. I'm not a freaking professional athlete and I'm not a competitive martial artist. My "performance" doesn't have to be world class, I'm just a dude trying to keep his man card as he gets older. I'll live without "explosive hips".

 

You'd definitely want to read this then.

 

Well, progress is boring and monotony should mean progress to a certain extent, right?

 

Man, I love T-Nation, but they do jack-all for calisthenics, so a lot of what they say just seems tricky to benefit from for me.

 

Haha. Yeah, they kind of have that Nerdy Meathead vibe, though to a lesser degree than EliteFTS it seems. During my bodyweight craze I'd say I did most of my reading on RossTraining.

[TheAccountant]

I'm going back to my old routine. Supersets of Reverse Pyramid to Negatives. Max use of Cables, Suspension Trainers and Dumbells, minimum use of bars or isolation machines.

Low rep (about 3 rep max) to with 1 to 3 negatives (so about 3 correct reps and about three "cheaters" with slow return)

drop weight, rep to negatives,

drop a third time, rep to negatives.

Superset with an opposite Push/Pull mechanic (For example, Cable Clean and Press supersets with Cable Muscle Up, bench supersets with row, etc..)

I never count reps, If I go over 3 or 4 before strict before I have to "burst out/negative back" then I didn't have enough weight on, and I don't drop weight for the next pyramid.

I think all negatives I used to do are still helping me at grappling, and I just feel the results when I work out that way. I'm just not interested in losing consistent strength (and muscle bulk) to get "bursty hips" anymore. My gut isn't dropping but my guns are shrinking.

[Kishi]

ROSS FREAKING ENAMAIT.

 

He's the man. I love him. I actually bought his Never Gymless book back before all the fitness professionals decided to get in on doing pdfs of their stuff instead. The first video of his that I saw him in he was busting out pistols for reps, and that was the first time I'd ever seen them. So, uh, I might have imprinted a little bit on him. Even so. Glad I'm not the only one who knows about him.

[Machete]

I'm going back to my old routine. Supersets of Reverse Pyramid to Negatives. Max use of Cables, Suspension Trainers and Dumbells, minimum use of bars or isolation machines.

Low rep (about 3 rep max) to with 1 to 3 negatives (so about 3 correct reps and about three "cheaters" with slow return)

drop weight, rep to negatives,

drop a third time, rep to negatives.

Superset with an opposite Push/Pull mechanic (For example, Cable Clean and Press supersets with Cable Muscle Up, bench supersets with row, etc..)

I never count reps, If I go over 3 or 4 before strict before I have to "burst out/negative back" then I didn't have enough weight on, and I don't drop weight for the next pyramid.

I think all negatives I used to do are still helping me at grappling, and I just feel the results when I work out that way. I'm just not interested in losing consistent strength (and muscle bulk) to get "bursty hips" anymore. My gut isn't dropping but my guns are shrinking.

 

I've always used 5/3/1 as my basic template, and have incorporated various modifications to it to great effect. The final AMRAP set seems to be similar to that "one-set-to-failure" prescription by Tim Ferriss, and when I did a challenge with the Warriors I added one negative set at around 120% my 1RM, an idea I got from a Pavel Tsatsouline article. (I was in school then and the topic for that week happened to be eccentrics.) Good stuff. Known a lot of people who used negatives to get strong enough to do actual pullups.

 

ROSS FREAKING ENAMAIT.

 

He's the man. I love him. I actually bought his Never Gymless book back before all the fitness professionals decided to get in on doing pdfs of their stuff instead. The first video of his that I saw him in he was busting out pistols for reps, and that was the first time I'd ever seen them. So, uh, I might have imprinted a little bit on him. Even so. Glad I'm not the only one who knows about him.

 

Yeah, I got Infinite Intensity a while back, but Underground Guide to Warrior Fitness and Boxer's Guide to Performance Enhancement was what really got me into the high-intensity stuff, even before I read about CrossFit. Back then my training philosophy was "If everything seems under control, you're not going fast enough." I've used one of his Warrior Challenges to destroy my platoon during PT one day when I was leading, mostly to show the hotshots that they're not as fit as they think they are just because they can run 5 miles. Our company commander happened to choose to work out with us that morning; he never worked out with us again.

[Kishi]

Yeah, I got Infinite Intensity a while back, but Underground Guide to Warrior Fitness and Boxer's Guide to Performance Enhancement was what really got me into the high-intensity stuff, even before I read about CrossFit. Back then my training philosophy was "If everything seems under control, you're not going fast enough." I've used one of his Warrior Challenges to destroy my platoon during PT one day when I was leading, mostly to show the hotshots that they're not as fit as they think they are just because they can run 5 miles. Our company commander happened to choose to work out with us that morning; he never worked out with us again.

 

Nice. I read a lot of the stuff that XFiters are doing for their WODs and such and I'm like, "Oh, I see. I know where you got this from."

 

And it's been interesting to see how anaerobic work translates to the aerobic. Prior to last year, I never would have believed it did, but when it finally happened it blew my freaking mind. Running for miles no longer has the romance it used to for me. Also, way to show the commander what's what. Too bad he didn't rise to the occasion.

 

Speaking of which, did you see the T-Nation article on the bodybuilder who went and drank the X-aid?

[Machete]

Nice. I read a lot of the stuff that XFiters are doing for their WODs and such and I'm like, "Oh, I see. I know where you got this from."

 

And it's been interesting to see how anaerobic work translates to the aerobic. Prior to last year, I never would have believed it did, but when it finally happened it blew my freaking mind. Running for miles no longer has the romance it used to for me. Also, way to show the commander what's what. Too bad he didn't rise to the occasion.

 

Speaking of which, did you see the T-Nation article on the bodybuilder who went and drank the X-aid?

 

Haha. He was able to hang. Finished it and everything. I think he commented that there were too many burpees.

 

Yeah, Christian Thibaudeau. Guy seems legit. I like that he's very open-minded. His articles are usually good ones.

 

WEEK 4 Quest Log:

Communicate: 6/7 days.

Remember Your Training: 2'000 KB Swings. No pullups.

[Machete]

WEEK 5 Quest Log:

Communicate: 5/7 days.

Remember Your Training: 2'000 KB Swings. 1 day pullups.