blkhole24601 makes 2015 a better year!

[blkhole24601]

With the first challenge of 2015 solidly under my belt and my energies reignited, I am back with a new battle log for 2015!

 

In 2014, I lost 15 pounds, ran a half marathon, performed in five shows, and was the healthiest I'd been in my 27 years on this planet thus far, until the last couple of weeks of the year hit and everything fell apart. I used the first challenge of 2015 to get back on my feet and to try out some of the goals I'd set for myself for the year and made tweaks accordingly. So, here is my 2015 fitness wishlist!

• Become a confident and competent jazz dancer.
  • Measurement: By December 31, 2015, be able to take an intermediate/advanced adult jazz class and not feel eons behind the rest of the class.
• Be able to do a handstand consistently (90% success rate, pirouette bails mastered for the 10% failure rate) and for a respectable amount of time (at least 10 seconds)
• Be able to do ONE pull-up and/or ONE chin-up
• Be able to do forward splits. Side splits will also be worked but likely cannot be mastered until 2016.
• Figure out how to do cartwheels on both sides. Right now, from the right side is basically mastered. From the left is a MESS.
• Learn a couple of new physical tricks/skills otherwise that I can put on my acting resume.

Running isn't on my list of fitness goals that I want to accomplish this year, but that's primarily because I have no real set goal in mind for 2015 when it comes to running. I haven't been lately, but I do want to get back into it; the problem is trying to fit it into my busy schedule. I will figure it out; in the meantime, I'm not going to get hung up on a running-specific goal for 2015... yet?

 

If I were to theme 2015, it will be simply: GRACE and CHARISMA. Let's make me a more employable actress, shall we~?

 

Also, take this for a personal victory: notice how nothing I said has anything to do with body image or weight or composition? I'm over it now. While I don't necessarily 100% love my body yet, I'm more focused on what it can do in my fitness goals and workout plans versus what it looks like anymore. And that is a wonderful, wonderful place to be.

[blkhole24601]

Week of February 16 Schedule:

 

Monday: Stronglifts, and acting class in the evening

Tuesday: Interval running (hopefully not on the treadmill but the inches of snow on the ground this morning with more to come throughout the day isn't giving me a lot of hope), and maybe a dance or yoga class in the evening if I don't have to meet with scene partners

Wednesday: Yoga, and then jazz class in the evening

Thursday: Stronglifts, and probably either tap or some other fitness class in the evening if I don't have to meet with scene partners

Friday: Dance Central or Zumba, acting class in the evening

Saturday: Dance Central or Zumba or some other fitness class in the morning, audition workshop in the afternoon

Sunday: "Rest" day... more like TUBING DAY! And hot springs. HOT SPRINGS!

 

Now to see about WHEN I can get to the gym today... ;;;;;;

[blkhole24601]

February 16:

Because the entire reason I went to work instead of working from home was to go to the gym because damn if I'm going to let snow prevent me from following my plan. The drive wasn't fun but manageable; I just hope when I go to acting class tonight people on the road won't be complete idiots but who am I kidding, I'm better off leaving half an hour early just to be on the safe side, sigh.

 

Anyhow!

1. Warm-Up: TMNT Mobility & Balance
   1. Handstands: 5 minutes, still trying to find balance, managed one 1-second handstand from a kick-up without falling into the wall
   2. Cartwheels: 10 on the right side; 1 epic fail on the left side
2. Workout: Stronglifts A
   1. 5x5 Squats @ 120lb (bodyweight!!)
      1. Jazz pirouettes, ballet waltzes, chasse, and tour jete in between sets
   2. 5x5 Bench Press @ 50lb
      1. 3x30 Russian Twists @ 10lb in between sets
   3. 2x8 assisted pull-ups, 1x8 assisted chin-ups
3. Cooldown: Stretches/Splits work

I'm taking a page out of starsapart's book and replacing barbell rows with (assisted) pull-ups/chin-ups. It's just. Pull-ups and chin-ups are worth more to me than barbell rows are? Even if just for pride reasons. If I do go back to rows, it'll be with dumbbells, because I just don't like the barbell version at all.

 

But! Victory! I can now squat my bodyweight! I'll do 120lb again on Thursday for good measure since this is a milestone and such, plus it was giving me some trouble near the end, but yay, I can squat my own bodyweight now!!!

 

And since this is something I tracked in my last challenge and I want to make sure I continue... singing! Logging! Both are happening, though my appetite is nonexistent today so logging is a cinch, ahahaha whoops. As for singing, I'm letting my voice take a break today, though I've listened to my next audition piece a couple of times and may solfege it later today if I find the time, and while I work on finishing up my big project I'll listen to "The Mikado" recordings. I have no idea if they're going to make me sing alto or soprano since I claimed to mezzo-hood at the audition but I can at least get the music solidly in my head before Friday. When I do practice tomorrow and the rest of the week, it'll be on my audition piece since the audition workshop is on Saturday and I've never sung this song before.

 

Interim week, off to a great start already!

[starsapart]

Camping out for awesome~

[blkhole24601]

February 17:

I don't have to meet with scene partners today so I could take a dance or fitness class this evening, except after my workout and grabbing lunch and heading up the stairs back to my office, my legs felt like jelly, so at the very least, Zumba/other dancing won't happen today. I may still go to yoga, but due to soon upcoming New Life Circumstances demanding my attentions and efforts at home (and emphasizing the need for my life quest next challenge) and the realization that I have all night today to catch up on much needed scene and audition work (basically, Sunday's audition results: Tyro got the callback and I didn't, so he'll be gone all evening), it proooooobably won't happen. It really depends on how the rest of today goes, tbh. If I need to destress, yoga at 6:30 it is. If I'm feeling pretty great about Life, the Universe, and Everything, then it'll be working on lines, working on audition pieces, and so much cleaning to do.

 

Also, the blood drive completely dominated the aerobics room, so cartwheels couldn't happen and I had to get really creative with the rest. But without further ado!

1. Warm-Up: TMNT Mobility
2. Workout: 8x200m sprints on the treadmill @ 8.0 mph, 1% incline
3. Cooldown: Handstands practice, stretches/splits work

I missed running so muuuuuuuuuuuuuuch. And I can't wait until it warms up enough that I can go outside and get chased by zombies again via Zombies, Run! I miss Sam and Maxine and the rest. And before noon, I hit my 7,000 minimum step count. Maybe I can make it to 12,000? I WILL GET TO LEVEL 2 IN THE HEALTH FUND BY THE END OF THE WEEK, I SWEAR IT.

 

Finally, in less happy news, I made a doctor's appointment, because trying to get my project done is... super tough. Not because of any difficulties with the assignment itself, it's just that depression has decided that I'm only allowed 15 minutes of clarity before everything fogs over and I'm either near bursting into tears or on the precipice of an anxiety attack, guh. Realizing that my mood disorders really are hindering my efforts at work, I finally went into the system and claimed disability to corporate because yes, depression counts as a disability. I don't know of any accommodations they can possibly give me right now, and after receiving glowing praises from my boss at my yearly review I sort of chickened out over mentioning it to him (... I never said I made sense...), I suspect it may all be in my head that my work is substandard because of this stupid thing, but better safe than sorry, and I'm complaining at my new doctor about it. I'm too busy to see a therapist and I don't want to go back on antidepressants, but I'm not really sure if I have a choice at this point. I would rather not have to disclose this if I can avoid it. I think everyone at this job would be more supportive and understanding than the people at my last job, but still. Hopefully new antidepressants won't give me the same issues as the last ones did, side effects I'm still dealing with: physical symptoms of anxiety (it used to be all mental, but now, thanks to Cymbalta, I get to deal with all the physical crap, too) and shit short term and long term memory.

 

.......... maybe I should just carve a couple hours out of my week to talk to a therapist instead. Now that I've typed out what happened last time, antidepressants terrify me again. They were great at the time because they got me out of bed and to work and let me be at least somewhat functional at work, but I don't have that problem anymore. Getting my ass out of bed and to work and being productive aren't issues anymore. It's just being able to stay focused before the fog kicks in that's being a bitch. Idkkkkkkkkkkkkk.

[blkhole24601]

February 18:

Yesterday was a terrible day. Not because of anything bad that had happened to me outside of emotional breakdowns that had me crying for a good three hours since midnight, which led to me having a very emotionally fragile day, but because of said emotional breakdowns leaving me vulnerable to tears every time even the most minuscule thing went wrong. Honestly, in retrospect, I should have just worked from home or taken the day off considering how unproductive I wound up being thanks to my headspace being absolutely awful. I won't go into the details of what caused the emotional breakdown here, but let's say that it was acting related. More, auditioning related. I whined about it on Facebook briefly and deleted the post once my fellow actor friends talked me down (I wasn't posting what I posted for a pity party, I just wanted someone to talk to, and once I had that I didn't need the post anymore), and then last night after I got home from dance, even though I was feeling much better, I was still enough in that negative space to talk my thoughts out with Tyro, who was so loving and understanding because he's been through a lot of it himself several times and, he suspects, will again. Between my friends and boyfriend, it gave me peace of mind to know that what I was going through wasn't unique; EVERY actor goes through this. And it really just solidified that I'm doing what I'm meant to be doing.

 

I'm doing much, much better today, though. My mental health started improving considerably once I left work (an hour early, because lmao I really shouldn't have been there to begin with) and started working on my next audition piece, and then receiving rehearsal information for The Mikado, and then getting to dance class and dancing for a solid hour. As I explained it to Tyro, at midnight, I was at negative percent. Rock bottom would have been an understatement. Throughout the day, I was operating at 5-10%. When I got home, I was up to 65%.

 

But anyway, the fitness-related babbling!

 

I didn't get to do yoga yesterday. At one point I forced myself to get to the gym but the blood drive was still going on and there was simply no room to do yoga in the cardio or weights area of the gym, sigh. Ah, well. I did, however, do the TMNT Mobility and Balance in the 15 minutes before jazz class started! And jazz was fun; we didn't work on any routines but we spent a lot of time on basics, which was helpful, especially once we got to pique turns. We finished off the class with a 10 minute ab workout. Next week the actual instructor will be teaching, so it'll be interesting to see the pace he takes the class and it'll give me the best gauge to see where I truly am at as far as jazz goes. My current plan is that by September, I'm taking intermediate jazz, but if I'm doing as well as I think I am, I may start taking intermediate jazz sooner, possibly either in May or June.

 

As far as my emotional state today goes, I'm probably back to my normal self at 80-90%. I feel a lot better after talking things out with Tyro especially, and being so exhausted from insomnia the past three nights gave me my first good sleep in a LONG time. I'm feeling very well-rested today, which I think is a big contributor to my mood being lifted, too.

 

Oh, and Lent! I'm not Catholic, or Christian, or even monotheistic for that matter (if you must know, I'm polytheist with Shinto being the primary influence over my beliefs), but I do love the tradition of giving something up for a period of time. For Christians it's some sort of show of faith, for me, it's a show of willpower and, like the NF challenges, a way to get rid of bad habits. For example, in high school, I was drinking no less than 2 cans of soda a DAY, so my senior year I gave up soda for Lent and even now, I drink maybe 2 cans of soda a month, MAYBE, if I'm having a bad month. So, for accountability purposes, I've identified a new problematic area for me: it's the candy that my coworkers have around the floor that can do me in. I track what I eat of course, but it's too easy to justify caving to temptation. So I'm giving up candy at work for Lent. This will take care of my snacking problem, too. 

 

Also, new challenge forums, WANT! I'm ready to share my goals with the world!

 

[EDIT: OH HEY as soon as I posted this, I noticed that the challenge forums were up. bbs, going to go post my new challenge thread now~]

[starsapart]

Glad things are better today.

 

I will give you tea and an ear tonight if you like.  I've been through my share of audition BS.

[blkhole24601]

And BOOM: new challenge thread is here!

 

Glad things are better today.

 

I will give you tea and an ear tonight if you like.  I've been through my share of audition BS.

 

Yes, thank youuu! I'm still dealing with a mountain of doubts but I at least now know that I couldn't give up theatre if I tried because ahahaha, I really did try??? But I'll take you up on that offer, for sure!

[blkhole24601]

February 19:

The day goes by fast when new challenge forums go up and despite having a lot of catch-up to do at work because of yesterday's failed day I wind up spending a lot of time reading everyone else's challenges instead. Ahahaha NF why so addictive???

 

Anyway! Finished my workout, here's what I did~

1. Warm-Up: TMNT Mobility & Balance
   1. Handstands: 5 minutes, still trying to find balance, managed one 2-second handstand from a kick-up without falling into the wall
   2. Cartwheels: 10 on the right side; didn't even bother trying the left side. ;;;;;
2. Workout: Stronglifts B
   1. 5x5 Squats @ 120lb
      1. Jazz pirouettes and pique turns in between sets
   2. 5/5/5/5/4 Overhead Press @ 40 lb
      1. 3x30 Russian Twists @ 12lb in between sets
   3. 1x5 Deadlift @ 100lb
3. Cooldown: Stretches/Splits work

While I was doing the TMNT stuff in the aerobics room (yaaaaaay blood drive is done and gone) I saw this one guy doing some crazy things like back bends and headstands. Not handstands. Headstands. I've never seen him in the gym before, and here I am struttting around like "hells yeah I'm the smallest girl lifting some of the heaviest weights and doing handstands" and then this guy is doing headstands. I was in awe of this guy, seriously. And that was part of the reason I didn't bother with cartwheels from the left side. The other part of the reason is that on Not Stronglifts Days is when I'll work on the other side to serve as technique work; Stronglifts days, it's serving as my warm-up.

 

I am so close to completing OH Press at 40 lb! Soon, sooooooooooon I can do it with the Olympic bar, sooooooooooooooooooon. Definitely in March. And deloading the deadlift to 100 lb was almost a joke, but it felt good to complete a set of deadlifts for the first time in a while. So, successful gym day, yay.

 

For the rest of my plans tonight to follow up on habits from last challenge and habits I plan to establish this challenge: I have my first voice lesson in a long time tonight with starsapart! Getting some actual guidance on my audition piece, this will be good, and once I get the music for The Mikado I can't think of a better teacher to help with the music from that. Cleaning likely won't happen tonight, sigh, squeezing in the cleaning quest may be a bigger challenge than I thought. 

 

Now, to catch up on more challenge threads and then working until it's time to fly up to Arvada for singing. Need to make up leaving an hour early yesterday. ;;;;;;; 

[blkhole24601]

So, working Fridays may be more difficult than I thought to figure out a workout. With rehearsals in the evenings and no way to get to any dance/fitness class during the day because of work (because nobody does Friday afternoon/evening fitness classes -- makes sense why not, but still, sad), hmmm.

 

Today might be another HIIT on the treadmill day. I may in the coming weeks make the effort to leave work early enough to do at-home Zumba or Dance Central but today I have a couple of errands to run before rehearsal because I need to bring my own chair??? And I have to get some cash so I can do a deposit on the score since there's no way I can obtain my own copy prior to tonight. Weekend project might be to get the music into forScore so that I can write all over it at will... and get a stylus for the iPad so I'm not awkwardly getting in markings and notes. ;;;

 

SOLID WORKOUT PLAN. I need to make it, just so I'm not running into this issue every working Friday for the next 6 weeks...

[blkhole24601]

February 20:

The weather forecast for the weekend continues to make me grumpy. Most of the fun plans I have might be falling through because of the stupid stupid snow, argh. Audition workshop isn't canceled yet, but they'll let us know first thing tomorrow morning because according to their email, "No news station can agree on what the weather will be" so they don't want to cancel prematurely. Also, tubing and hot springs may not happen because for as bad as things might get in Denver, the mountains will always be worse, sigh. The worst part is, I most likely have to come into work in the morning because there's no way to do what I need to do at home so ugggggh might have to drive in despite the weather. At least one exciting plan will still happen tomorrow if Tyro and I have anything to say about it, though! Mostly because it's a 10 minute drive and it's something that NEEDS to get done. Snow is also expected to start when I need to leave for rehearsal tonight, too. >:|

 

Grumping. This is a thing I am doing.

 

Anyway, I did get a workout in! Intended to go to the gym and run on the treadmill but wasn't really feeling up to it (my legs were unhappy the past couple of days from the HIIT adventures, and I think it's because I desperately need new shoes, sigh), so I did a 30-minute yoga session via the Daily Yoga app instead. Warmed up with TMNT Mobility and Balance, of course, and I did do 10 left sided cartwheels! They were abysmally poor, of course, but better than not doing them! Also managed a two second freestanding handstand from kick-up.

 

I'm leaving work soon and, eh, maybe I'll do Dance Central or Zumba before I run to the bank and the store. I should have the time for it.

 

I mean, seriously, can it PLEASE be summer yet?

[blkhole24601]

February 21:

No weather-related grumpiness for most of the day! I was able to get into work, no problem, and though the weather was super tame, I knew that because of the New Play Summit going on downtown that parking was going to be a pain so I took the light rail to the audition workshop instead.

 

Best. Choice. Ever.

 

Near the end of the workshop, I was glancing at Facebook and saw that the impending blizzard we've been warned about was finally, finally here. Most of my weekend social plans were subsequently canceled. Luckily, since I had taken the light rail downtown, I didn't have to drive in the worst of it, and I was able to get to Tyro's place. If I'd had to drive all the way back home, I would have just gone home and our plans would have been thusly rescheduled, so thank youuuuu public transportation.

 

ANYWAY, rest day. They mentioned earlier this week that there might be some dancing at the audition workshop but there was so much to do on monologues and songs that it didn't happen. No big, but I will be dancing tomorrow at some point for sure.

 

Back to hovering over Tyro's shoulder as he gets his challenge thread up!

[blkhole24601]

February 22:

Exercising............. did not happen at all yesterday, unless you count the one trip up the stairs with one of Tyro's boxes to my apartment. Ah, well, the break was nice and needed, now to ramp things back up for the next 6 weeks!

 

That means that for the next 6 weeks, I will not be here on the battle log but rather here on my challenge thread. I'll be back April 6th!

[blkhole24601]

Hi friends, I'm back! At least for the week.

 

If anybody here doesn't follow along with my challenges, you should know that I got cast in two more shows! This week I will be in performance for The Heidi Chronicles (in which I will be playing Becky, Clara, and Denise) and after we open The Mikado at the end of next month, I'll be in rehearsals for my most coveted show of the year, Cabaret! I also had another actor ego boost when I was invited to perform in the showcase that the studio I train at puts on every spring. I can't commit to it this year, but I'm first on the list for next year and just being asked is a thrilling thing.

 

So because I'm in performance all this week, I can't commit to a full workout schedule and will be instead pursuing a blackout on the Assassins' Easter Bingo card. So I will not be presenting you all with my plan for the week: please understand that I'm swamped and exhausted. I'll give you full reports on what I did every day until it's time to start the next challenge, and trust me, I still plan to do something!

[blkhole24601]

Wound up coming up with a plan for the week, because if I didn't, I probably wouldn't work out at all. ;;;;;;;;; SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO!

 

Week of April 6 Plan:

 

Monday: Angry Birds Workout

Tuesday: 30 minute cardio (dance or run, depending on weather/when I get out of bed)

Wednesday: Angry Birds Workout

Thursday: 30 minute cardio (dance or run, depending on weather/when I get out of bed)

Friday: Angry Birds Workout

Saturday: 10K walk/run

Sunday: Rest

 

Angry Birds Workout was made for people like me, and this is the week to do it. So going for!! Will also continue to pursue the Assassins' bingo card, which shouldn't conflict at all with the above. I'll let you know the progress as I go along!

[blkhole24601]

April 6, 2015:

Angry Birds Workout:

• 1x100 Bodyweight Squats (owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww)
• 2x15, 2x10 Push-ups
• 3x60sec Planks

FitBit Step Count: 7,952

 

Assassins' Bingo: 6/25 completed (incl. free space)

• Make someone smile/shine (sent a text to Tyro231 while he was dealing with a bear of a tech rehearsal)
• Bunny fuel: Eat 3 portions of raw veggies (cauliflower and green beans for lunch, a lot of awesomeness in an edamame hummus wrap I had for dinner)
• Look closely - do 50 push-ups (see Angry Birds Workout)
• Collect the eggs - do 100 squats (see Angry Birds Workout)
• Complete 3 minutes of planks (see Angry Birds Workout)

Yesterday was a meeting-full day, which is why I couldn't sneak to the gym to do Stronglifts and had to do Angry Birds instead, which is fine, I'm actually enjoying the gaming aspect of the workout a lot. I didn't get to do the rows but that's fine, I'll throw focus to it on Wednesday. Also, doing 100 squats in a row is a BEAST. It was doable since I can squat 5x5 130-lbs, more than my bodyweight, but uggggh, not fond of 100 squats all at once. Immediate DOMS was immediate and I did them just before I had to go on at final dress last night. Yes, I did Angry Birds during the scenes I'm not in. I'll try not to do that on Wednesday. ;;;;;;;;;;

 

Final dress went fine. I mean, we've performed the show better and silly tech mistakes were made but that's the point of dress -- work out all those kinks now before we have a full audience... TONIGHT! ACK! So yes. Today is a cardio day, and if it's not too hot by the time I get out to do it, I'll run; if it is, then it's either the treadmill or some of the bingo things that's cardio-related.

 

Now to catch up on threads and not fall asleep at my desk. Still so tired, always so tired, and I got decent sleep last night, too!

[Rowan Caldecott]

Wow, 100 squats! Yesterday I did the full Recruit workout for the first time (well, almost, I didn't get all the lunges in), so that meant 3 sets of 15 squats and boy! Are my thighs sore today! I can't even imagine doing 100!

[blkhole24601]

Wow, 100 squats! Yesterday I did the full Recruit workout for the first time (well, almost, I didn't get all the lunges in), so that meant 3 sets of 15 squats and boy! Are my thighs sore today! I can't even imagine doing 100!

 

Lunges are the worst, ugh. But yeah, 100 squats is a killer, but since I've been doing them with 130lb additional weight, bodyweight wasn't a big thing, though ow, feeling them today. You'll get there, though! I love squats.

[blkhole24601]

April 7, 2015:

Successful opening of The Heidi Chronicles, yay! Though the good mood from that was spoiled by the shitacular parking situation at my apartment building. It's gotten worse over the past few weeks and I'm not entirely sure why. It's enough to consider moving when the lease is up, but that's a conversation I need to have with Tyro when the time comes to renew the lease. Also, related to this, I would like to express my complete abhorrence of motorcycles. Can they not take up an entire spot? It used to be that motorcycle owners in the complex would use one spot for both their car and the bike, which was awesome and I appreciated them for it (and envied them, because it meant that they always had a spot saved) but if someone complained about it and that's why motorcycles have to take up an entire space now... 

 

ANYWAY. My cardio today was a brisk 45 minute walk after lunch. I'll take it.

 

Bingo squares completed today (8/25):

• Get up 30 min earlier than usual
• Walk outdoors for 1+ mile

Finishing up my tea and trying to calm down before I go to bed. Strongly resisting the urge to write a strongly worded letter to the apartment complex. ("You want a real solution to the parking problem here? FUCKING MAKE MORE PARKING SPACES SOMEHOW.") Seriously, though, this is ridiculous and I'm fucking sick of it. It wasn't this bad when I first moved here! What's going on? The new apartment complex isn't even open yet. Is it the new shopping center that's doing this? UGH.

 

klfjaslkdfjaskljfl;ksdjfkjdfjsdkfj;sldjf;oisdjflksdjfklsdjflkasjd just need to calm down. Going to bed angry is not good. Think of the good things: AWESOME OPENING YAY. TWO MORE SHOWS. YAY.

[blkhole24601]

So Shark Week is supposed to happen this weekend. This explains why I'm easily irritable, why I keep eating all of the things (to the point where as of today, I've started the eating portion of my challenge because screw you hormones, if I can't control my emotions I can at least control this), and why I'm finding myself in a really bad mental place for absolutely no reason at all except that my brain is dumb. So I need to stop looking at audition notices for a little while, I think. I have one audition next Friday that will merit no results because it's for the Denver Center and lmao, unless you're already an equity actor, you have no actual shot. After that... yeah, it'll be good not to worry about auditions until May, and even so, I keep looking at the season announcements for a bunch of theatre companies around town and the only thing I can think of is, "Yeah right, like anyone will ever cast me in anything ever again."

 

... so yeah, no more looking at audition notices until Monday, for the sake of my own sanity. Now to get over my anxiety over Cabaret. I've been cast but there's a part of me that's paranoid that it was just my imagination, that when the cast announcement goes up within the next week my name won't actually be on there, etc. I just. I'm being dumb, and I need to stop being dumb.

 

I really hate my brain, and my hormones, and the fact that I can't have normal and healthy emotions and thought processes. But I guess if my brain did act like a normal person's brain, I wouldn't have been eligible to perform with the theatre company that's doing Cabaret and so yeah. You take the bad with the good, I guess. Still, mood disorders are a terrible thing and I wish them on no one ever, especially women who deal with emotional turmoil when they PMS or on Shark Week as it is.

[blkhole24601]

April 8, 2015:

So I didn't exactly get in a full workout because #mylifeischaos. Sigh. I cried at Tyro about it when I got home from my performance and he reassured me that no actor works out during tech/performance weeks (read: when performances are during the week instead of/in addition to the weekend; if performances are just on the weekend, it tends to be not a problem at all), especially those of us who work full-time jobs. And I know he's not lying. How many times have I heard from fellow castmates, "I can't wait until we open this show so I can workout again!" So many times. And the one time I was able to workout during tech week, I had just started a new job and was not yet swamped with all of the things and so could justify sneaking away to do this. All other tech/performance weeks, I "fell off the wagon."

 

This is normal. This happens. And it's okay. If I was a full-time actor, this wouldn't be a valid excuse, or a part-time actor with a part-time job, but no, I'm a part-time actor with a full-time job and you just don't. fuck. with. tech. week.

 

Going forward, during tech/performance weeks, I will not plan on working out. I will endeavor to do some sort of exercise when I can sneak it in, but if I can't, no big deal. I will, instead, be super careful with what and how much I eat to make up for it. In fact, 100% of my health focus will be towards what I'm fueling myself with. It'll be more vital than ever.

 

So no workout today (Thursday). I'll try to tomorrow before I have to meet my parents for lunch+Rockies game, and I have to do the 10K for stillskies on Saturday anyway, and I'll make Sunday an active rest day.

 

#actorstruggles, for realzies.

 

(I did do 30 overhead squats and 10 push-ups yesterday, and I took a brisk 45 minute walk when my sweet tooth started getting too intense, so yay.)

[blkhole24601]

April 9, 2015:

And with that, The Heidi Chronicles is over! Great closing night, and I stayed out wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy too late with the cast last night. The director bought us all tequila shots. It destroyed me. That was part of the reason I was out later than I'd intended -- I needed to sober up! But when I got home, I had a beautiful bouquet of flowers from Tyro waiting for me on the kitchen counter. Seriously, guys, I'm dating the sweetest guy.

 

Anyway, just when I thought that I had my workout schedule for next week all ready to go, one of my team leads comes into my office to tell me that my graveyard shifts may move up by a day. Which is fine, but lmao, that means I've already had to readjust, and now that I'm looking at the class schedule for the Bella Diva Dance studio, I may make one additional change. It'll be something that I might have to consider on Monday when I make the final decision, since that's when I'll know for sure what days next week I'll for sure have to work the graveyard shift. If my schedule does change, then I'll have to take my dance class on Tuesday and since there's no jazz class anywhere on Tuesday nights within my level, I may take a class at Bella Diva because what better way to learn how to sexy dance than with belly dancing? So we'll see.

 

Today's plan! Meet with my parents for lunch at Domo before OPENING DAY!!!!!! Baseball game all afternoon, and then Mikado rehearsal in the evening because no rest for the wicked. I toyed with the idea of offering to join Tyro at his opening night festivities for his show, but I think I'm going to opt for sleep instead. I have a 10K to run/walk (and by that I mean mostly walk, I feel like ;;;;;;;; ) in the morning, after all!

[blkhole24601]

April 10 & 11, 2015:

Yesterday was a craaaaaaaaaazy busy day. Had delicious, delicious ramen at Domo with my parents before going to the Rockies home opener, which we won, yay, and then had rehearsal with all of the dancing in the evening. As soon as I got home, I took a bath and crashed so hard, I didn't even notice when Tyro got home from his show. I was so very much out. And actually, the exhaustion was apparent even at the game. I sort of dozed off a couple of times and had to sugar up to stay awake. ;;;;;;;;;;;;;; (And I was crankypants and had a couple of anxiety attacks at rehearsal because that's always fun.)

 

So awesome sleep last night, though allergies + my body finally failing me was not a promising thing when I had to wake up early to run stillskies' 10K for her so she could get her 6-series race medal and cup, and since she's running the 10 mile race for me next month, it seems a fair trade. I debated the merits of switching into the 5K instead because of stuffed up sinuses and impending headache and the fact that I haven't run more than a couple of miles since December, but after mile 2 the headache went away and I was actually feeling really great at the 5K/10K split point, so I kept going to finish off the 10K with a surprisingly good time of 1:10:20. I can run a 10K in 70 minutes with no training. I'll take it!!

 

A couple of pictures:

1) I hate my legs, they are gross, fat, and ugly

2) OMG MY HAIR IS SO LONG

 

Decided to strike a pose here because WHY NOT. This is around mile 6, I think just before or just after the mile marker. I can't remember.

 

Now I'm going to relax a bit for the first time in two weeks before running off to meet Tyro for dinner in between his shows, and then I finally get to watch his show! I also went shopping to prepare for the next 6 week challenge, but I'll give more details in my challenge thread tomorrow. I basically got a crash course in the basics of make-up, woo!

[Rowan Caldecott]

April 10 & 11, 2015:

Yesterday was a craaaaaaaaaazy busy day. Had delicious, delicious ramen at Domo with my parents before going to the Rockies home opener, which we won, yay, and then had rehearsal with all of the dancing in the evening. As soon as I got home, I took a bath and crashed so hard, I didn't even notice when Tyro got home from his show. I was so very much out. And actually, the exhaustion was apparent even at the game. I sort of dozed off a couple of times and had to sugar up to stay awake. ;;;;;;;;;;;;;; (And I was crankypants and had a couple of anxiety attacks at rehearsal because that's always fun.)

 

So awesome sleep last night, though allergies + my body finally failing me was not a promising thing when I had to wake up early to run stillskies' 10K for her so she could get her 6-series race medal and cup, and since she's running the 10 mile race for me next month, it seems a fair trade. I debated the merits of switching into the 5K instead because of stuffed up sinuses and impending headache and the fact that I haven't run more than a couple of miles since December, but after mile 2 the headache went away and I was actually feeling really great at the 5K/10K split point, so I kept going to finish off the 10K with a surprisingly good time of 1:10:20. I can run a 10K in 70 minutes with no training. I'll take it!!

 

A couple of pictures:

1) I hate my legs, they are gross, fat, and ugly

2) OMG MY HAIR IS SO LONG

 

 

I saw that picture and thought, "Wow, her legs are muscular. I hope my legs look that muscular someday."

[starsapart]

Nice job on the run.  But hey, girlfriend..........

 

1) I hate my legs, they are gross, fat, and ugly

 

1) Would you talk to your friend like that?  Be kind to yourself.  Especially considering...

2) You look great, you goose.